Magic for Humans (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Self-Control - full transcript

- Hi.
- How's it going?

- What's going on?
- How you doing?

You guys see the movie It?

- You kinda look like him!
- Yeah.

- You trying to get this way?
- Yeah.

You almost didn't see me
'cause you were texting.

Yeah.

This new study that came out

says that people are less smart when
their phone is in the same room as them.

Especially less smart
if the phone's in their hand.

- It's true.
- What?



Yeah. Not just even having, like,
the phone, like, looking at it.

Just having it in your hand or close by
makes you less intelligent.

- Hold your phone face up in your hand.
- OK.

I'm going to ask you a question.
We'll see how well you do.

How many balloons am I holding?

I don't know.

Exactly. You're proving my point for me.

Lock the phone,
turn it over in your hand.

- OK.
- So it's a little less tempting now.

- OK.
- What's the atomic weight of francium?

I don't know. Do you know?

Two twenty-three.

So that's two questions
you answered incorrectly

- because your phone's in your presence.
- But--



I'm here to make you smarter. Watch this.

As we remove your phone

from proximity.

Dude!

- Now...
- Dude!

Here's your third question.
What's four plus five?

Four plus five?

Nine.

Can I get that back?

I backed it up to the cloud.

I backed it up.

Oh, my God!

Touch the button.

Oh, my gosh!

Touch the button.

Oh, my gosh! What?

Whoa!

Oh... my gosh!

- What are you doing with my phone?
- Oh, ****.

What are you about to do?

What?

Dude, that's a 7s Plus right there.
Where the hell is my phone at?

I'm syncing it to the cloud.

How's it supposed to make me smarter?

- Now, how do you spell--
- Dude, my phone's in the sky, flying away!

I'm trying to ask you a question.

How do you spell "Alf"?

How do you spell what?

I just... Will you get my phone?

I'm syncing it with the cloud.

- Hold on.
- In order to back it up.

- Are you--
- I backed it up. Check it out.

Tear it out of the plastic.

- Hold on.
- I backed it up.

How the hell...?

How did you get my...?

How did you do that?

- You can rip it out if you want.
- Wait... Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, this is my phone!

Well, now you're kind of dumb again,
but you were so smart for a second.

It was so exciting. You nailed it.

- You know what you shouldn't do?
- What?

Take another black person's phone
and do that.

They see their phone

- flying like that, man...
- I agree.

I'm magician Justin Willman.

I've spent my life attempting to master
the art of magic.

Now I'm using magic
to master the art of being human.

- Real people...
- Have a great day.

...real magic...

Whoa!

...no camera tricks.

Oh, my God!

This is Magic for Humans.

When I'm doing magic...

I have complete control over everything.

But off stage...

I can't even control myself.

Everything is like crack to me.

Candy Crush, Instagram...

crack.

Why is it that some people are just
better at self-control than me?

I suspect the answer lies in how we handle
the dilemmas we faced as kids.

For example, you can have one marshmallow
now, or if you can wait ten minutes...

you can have two.

The famous Stanford marshmallow
experiment tests children's self-control.

You have a choice. You can eat it now.
Totally cool.

Or if you can wait till I get back,

I'll give you a second marshmallow.

I can do it.

You can wait ten minutes?

- Mm-hmm.
- OK.

By the way, if you want,
you can use that cup to cover it up

so you don't have to look at it.

- Good luck.
- OK.

Researchers showed that by putting
a marshmallow in front of a kid

and daring him not to eat it,

you could tell if one day
they'd be the next Steve Jobs...

or the next Steve Guttenberg.

Now, in the original experiment, they just
waited to see what happened. But...

I don't have the patience for that.

This is painful to watch.

All right-- Oh.

You ate it.

- That's OK.
- I didn't eat it.

I lifted the cup and it was gone.

- How did you do?
- Good.

- Was it good?
- Yeah.

After I lifted up the cup,
it just disappeared!

- What disappeared?
- The marshmallow.

Would you like another one?

- Yeah. It just disappeared.
- Aw, buddy, here.

You want to eat this one?

It's OK. You can eat this one.

- It disappeared like magic?
- Yeah! Well, eat this one. Tell me how it tastes.

- It's good.
- Is it good?

Well, we made a kid cry.

So I'd say phase one was a success.

For phase two,
I went undercover as a kid myself

to apply a little peer pressure
on my fellow test subjects.

How's it going?

Good.

- What do we do?
- I don't know.

Once the rules were explained,

the dilemma of self-control
dominated the conversation.

One time, I kept waiting and waiting.

For what?

For my lasagna.

Are we allowed to touch them?

I do not know.

You like marshmallows?
I love marshmallows too.

That's why it's hard to wait.

- I know. I also like s'mores.
- I love s'mores.

- And Rice Krispies Treats.
- Love it.

Can I show you something cool
with your marshmallow?

Give me your plate.

OK. Here.

You ready?

Watch the marshmallow.

Impressing.

- Grab yours.
- I'm gonna wait.

- You sure?
- I'm sure.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Whoa!

What just happened?

You've been coughing out
and sneezing out marshmallows.

If she comes back in and sees all these,

she's gonna suspect
we're up to some high jinks.

I'm gonna stuff some in my pockets.

We'll get in trouble if she sees them.

I know that... They'll know that--

No, I don't think
they would have looked at me that close.

Can you put those in here?

OK. Nicely done, Justin.

Good job.

I think I'm going to be sick.

- I'm Justin. What's your name?
- I'm Susan.

Susan. You know what that means?

- No, what?
- It's time for Magic for Susans.

OK. Check it out, Susan.

Soda can.

- Can I borrow your ring?
- Sure you can.

- Is that OK?
- That's great, yes.

- All right.
- There you go.

- You're gonna remember this forever.
- OK.

Your ring... and a can. Watch.

That's amazing.

- Can it come out?
- No.

Now, what do we do?

Have a good day.

I like to think I have free will
and control over my destiny,

but mindfulness expert
Paul Kaye disagrees.

He says the only thing
I actually have control over

is how I react to all the stuff
I don't have control over.

So when things aren't going our way,

automatically we kind of get upset.

So if we can go the way
that things are going,

suddenly we're in harmony,

and it may look like we're in control,
but all we're doing

is being with what is going on.

So does that come out of having
no expectations and no attachments

to how we want things to pan out?

If you can. It's there. It's always there.

- Take me there.
- OK.

Just take a moment
and bring your attention

to the rising and falling of your breath.

You were trying a little hard there.

Just carry on breathing, except you're
bringing your attention to it.

OK. A palpable change.

Look at you.
That's a complete difference.

You get to a point where you realize,
"Wait a minute. I'm not breathing.

I'm being breathed."

Smile like you know
what he's talking about...

and go to the next segment.

If Paul is right that true happiness
comes from going with the flow,

then these outgoing high school seniors
may have to rethink their future plans.

- I'm Justin.
- I'm Emma.

I'm filming a little piece today
about free will.

- OK.
- Do you believe you have free will?

Yes.

I feel like our path more so chooses us
than us choosing our path.

- Fate?
- Yeah, absolutely.

- I guess both.
- Yeah?

I think fate has a lot to do with it,

but then I also think
that if you never really do anything,

nothing's gonna happen for you.

Did you notice my dart board I brought?

[girl] I did now.

- Check it out.
- Yeah, it's neat.

30 different occupations.

Any of these kind of... calling your name?

- Dad. I like the "dad" one right there.
- Yeah?

I like that.
There's a lot of money in that.

- This is more than just a dart.
- OK.

This dart represents your future.

Just give it a toss.

What if I don't hit the board?

- Then it's embarrassing.
- OK.

See? I told you!

- It's OK. I have another dart.
- OK.

Step a little closer.

- OK.
- OK.

- That's as close as you can get.
- I'll hit something.

- Cult.
- Cult?

- Does that mean I'm like a leader?
- OK, well...

Let's think about this for a second.
First off, of the whole board,

was there anything that you maybe thought
you were going to do?

I thought I might hit the "mom" one.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- You wanna be a mom?
- At some point.

Way far away.

- Way far away.
- Way, way away!

But would you have ever thought
you would be...

in a cult?

Probably not.

Did you know that I knew
you would be in a cult?

- You did? How?
- Yeah.

Before you even threw this dart, I knew
I was gonna meet a future cult leader.

That's why I wrote that.

Oh, my God!

Nurse. Would you be weirded out if I knew
you'd hit "nurse" before you hit it?

Really?

All right, man!

You see, now that's...

Mayor.

What the heck?

That was pretty mind-blowing!

I hit "cult" and on the back of the thing,
he had written "cult"!

What's your name?

- I'm Susan.
- I'm Justin.

- Hi.
- So nice to meet you, Susan. You know why?

- Why?
- It's Magic for Susans.

Really? That's awesome.

- It's pretty awesome, right?
- Yeah.

Susan, I have a deck of cards.
Say "stop" whenever you want.

- Stop.
- Right there?

OK. Can you memorize that card?

Don't forget it.

Susan's card. OK?

- I'm going to give you a souvenir, Susan.
- OK.

Actually just going to...

tear off the corner here.

Wow!

And make it disappear.

- Wow!
- Do you know where it went?

No.

- Do you have a purse?
- Yes.

Bring the purse over here.

Check the pocket.

Which side?

Oh, my gosh!

What?

How is that possible?

I have a lot of crap,
and little by little,

it's taking over my life.

But then I heard about these people
called minimalists.

This is literally everything that I own.

I'd love to fit everything I own
into a backpack,

but I don't want to get rid of anything.
Solution?

Magic backpack.

You guys heard of minimalism?

- No.
- What is that?

Are you familiar with minimalism?

I have heard of the word.

I got this buddy who...

He cut out all the extra stuff
and now he can live out of a backpack.

It's not as bad as it sounds,
because I found a loophole.

- I just have a magic backpack.
- That's cool!

What's the number one thing that you'd
prefer to not have to live without?

I like to have fun.

- I like to have fun.
- Fun.

I got fun in my bag.

You have fun in your bag?

I got fun. Let's see here.

What?

- That's fun.
- Light it up!

That's fun. Hold that.

You like baseball?

I like baseball. That's fun.

How did you even...?

It was in the... What?

My gosh! What?

What's something you would prefer
to not live without?

- I like cookies.
- Well, actually...

Hold on.

We have...

my childhood...

cookie jar. No way.

It's actually got some...
Come on over. Check it out.

We got some Oreos in there.

Cookies. Seriously, minimalism is easy
when you got one of these bags.

Come on, what else can't you live without?

I blend a lot of things.

OK, you're tricky.
You're trying to stump me.

No! I can't...

I can't believe that.

OK.

What?

There's that.

What else? Come on, what else? What's
another thing you couldn't live without?

- What do you need?
- Coffee.

- Coffee?
- I love coffee.

Coffee. That's me every day.
I grew up on coffee.

I'm a coffee guy too.

- Yeah!
- If he pulls a Starbucks out of his...

- You got the cup.
- Got the cup.

- Hold on to that.
- Nice.

Actually, hold on.
You know, better than the cup...

No way!

- There we go.
- Get out!

Come on.

How did you get that in there?

Take a sip.

How is it?

Wow, it's still hot!

You have a good one!

I got it.

Have a good one.

- What else can you not live without?
- An umbrella.

- An umbrella?
- Yeah.

OK, hold on.

Wow!

It's so big and black and...

- Go on.
- Oh, my gosh!

Is there anything
that you just couldn't live without?

My wife.

- My wife?
- Yeah.

- I can't live without her.
- See, that's not fair,

'cause I'm not gonna put my wife
in my backpack.

But...

that's why I do keep a...

- bigger bag...
- OK.

...inside the backpack.

All right.

And inside the bigger bag...

is where I keep the important stuff.

- What?
- What the...

That's my wife. Hi, babe.

- He did not bring her out that bag.
- This is Jill.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. How you did that?

Do you mean how did I make her appear
or how did I manage to marry her?

I don't just have trouble
controlling my stuff.

I also have trouble controlling my mouth.
I talk a lot.

So here I am attempting magic
without speaking.

Yeah.

Most definitely! What do you have for us?

I love froyo.

- For me?
- Where's the spoon?

Sprinkles. I pick sprinkles.

Where are they?

Oreos.

Oh, my God! No!

I don't want them anymore!

Let's go for hot fudge.

Hot fudge.

OK. How?

That's...

Yeah, you know what?
I appreciate the novelty of that, but no.

Part of me doesn't want to eat it
because you spit it out.

The other part of me is like,
"Free froyo," you know?

That's me walking
to my very first yoga class.

Welcome, everyone.

Usually my lack of willpower prevents me

from engaging in such healthy
and boring activities.

But this yoga class offered something new
I just couldn't resist.

Goats.

Goat yoga is a real thing.

You do yoga while hanging out with goats.

Goat yoga instructor
Meredith Schwartz explains.

So, Meredith, are goats good at yoga?

They are, actually.
They really are good at yoga.

You can find yourself balancing
and a goat might come over

when you just think you can't hold
that pose any more.

The goat might help you.

What does PETA think about it?

- Who's PETA?
- [goat bleats]

- Perfect. Here, why don't you hold a goat?
- I'll take it.

Come towards me.

Justin, maybe we're going to give you
a couple more blocks.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome. Perfect.

Hollow out underneath your armpits.
Let your head hang.

Turns out, after five minutes,

goat yoga is just yoga.

But then she put that goat on my back.

My chakras aligned, and that's when
something amazing happened.

[silently mouths]

I've got 20/20 vision,
but that was **** up!

I'm pretty sure I was in the wrong class,
'cause I don't know what just happened.

He just went up.

We try so hard to control things.

But maybe the real lesson

is that control...

is overrated.

Maybe just eat that first marshmallow

and pretend the second one
doesn't even exist.

'Cause, come on...

Eating a marshmallow never hurt anyone.

♪ Control ♪

♪ No, I'll never, ever lose control ♪

♪ No, it's under control ♪

- ♪ Control ♪
- ♪ It's under, it's under ♪

♪ Never, never lose control ♪

♪ Under control ♪

♪ Control ♪