Made in Oslo (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
Okay, I'm coming.
I'm coming.
-Early in the morning.
-It's okay.
Bye.
Thank you.
Okay...
It's okay.
I'm a doctor.
You'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
We have to run!
It starts in two minutes. Jesus!
-Which way?
-Just run!
-Good luck, Stella.
-Thanks.
-They're really strict.
-Don't say that!
Friendly atmosphere.
It's only an evaluation.
They're just going to give you
some guidance.
Okay?
You'll do fine.
I promise.
Stella?
Just try to have fun with it.
Mum, stop it!
Listen, you're going to do great.
-Hello.
-Nice to see you.
Hi.
Hi!
I made it.
I had trouble finding a temp.
Sorry.
There's only space inside for two.
-But we're three.
-Is it possible to make an exception?
I'm sorry.
-You two go ahead.
-Are you sure?
This was unfortunate.
I've ruined everything.
No, don't worry about it.
Good luck.
-See you later.
-Good luck.
Thanks, Maiken.
See you next Thursday.
Cunt!
-Okay?
-I mean it. Cunt, cunt, cunt!
Hang on.
Give me two seconds.
It's dad.
Hi!
Listen...
Which drawer are you checking?
No, the dresser in the hall.
Yes, in the hall.
That's what I said.
Yes.
Okay, good. Bye.
-What can I offer?
-Anything with a documented effect.
Alcohol?
Chocolate?
Hash?
-Do you have hash lying around?
-Maybe, baby.
-Do you?
-Hash?
-You have a stash somewhere?
-Do you want some?
Sure!
Inhale.
And exhale.
And of course I had to give in,
before it got awkward for Stella.
It was like that vulture
was hiding in the bushes,
waiting to jump out
at the last second...
"You thought you could join them?"
How could they not have room
for three parents?
Right? And she was all:
"Aww, that's so unfortunate!"
Real unfortunate.
Fucking bitch.
-Where are you in your cycle?
-Don't even start.
I'm just saying, your body...
My body should just do its thing.
Exactly.
What?
Let's see...
-I sense some stagnation.
-You do? Great.
-If it's just before your period...
-It isn't!
No?
What is it, then?
Just...
I had been so looking forward to it.
It was my turn.
To be a proud parent.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's my next patient.
It's okay.
Hi!
Die!
It's too easy.
What's easy?
Die, motherfucker!
-After you, shitface!
-I heard that.
Hi!
-How are things going here?
-Stop squirming!
How do you think it's going, dad?
You just take it easy.
You can get him over the edge.
You can get him over!
Hi. I heard
you were awesome yesterday.
I'm proud of you, too.
Hope that's okay.
Don't feed her ego.
She'll become intolerable.
That's it, now over the edge!
Talk to you never!
Yes!
You're messing with my focus.
It's my turn to crush you.
We'll get him together.
No!
-You won.
-I've never gotten a star before.
Without doing anything.
That's so typical!
Get the hell out of here!
Do you think I want to see
your ugly face right now?
What the hell are you doing?
Enough!
Can you come a little closer?
There.
Are you okay, Kjersti?
Yes.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
It's just...
It's our last time.
We can't afford any more.
I know.
-What if it doesn't work?
-It will.
-I feel it inside me.
-You really think so?
We're going to take out
everything you have.
Let's find that one golden egg.
-Okay?
-Yes.
Okay?
-Ready for the anesthesia?
-Yes.
Move a little closer, please.
One, two, and...
Three.
That's it.
Breathe.
There.
You'll feel a little jab.
Ready?
There.
Excellent.
You're doing good, Kjersti.
Don't forget to breathe.
I'm in on the left side.
First egg.
There are lots of eggs.
-Second egg.
-My God!
Hi.
Right.
I understand. It can be hard
to deliver under pressure
in such a clinical environment.
Why don't you go into your wife,
and we'll just try again later, okay?
Yeah?
Yes.
Couldn't you do it?
I was so stressed out.
It was just...
I don't know.
What if the eggs
don't get fertilized today?
Don't worry, they will.
You'll get a little anesthesia first,
okay?
You'll feel a little jab.
There you go.
It may hurt right now,
but that will pass in a few seconds.
Great. Just breathe normally
and lie perfectly still.
Perfectly still.
Pull it up.
A little more.
And a little more.
That's it.
There.
All done!
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
Well done.
The numbness will fade
in a few hours, okay?
You may bruise,
but that's nothing to worry about.
If it gets more painful or swollen,
let me know.
Teeming with life here.
-Need any help?
-I've got it.
For you.
Have I done something wrong?
Have you done something wrong?
I want to try one more time.
I don't mean
start over again, but...
Just one last time.
Please.
Please.
Have you forgotten what happened
last time?
What happened to you?
And to Stella?
I won't go through that again.
It's over.
I promise.
I won't become that person again.
Our relationship can't survive that.
It can't.
Elin.
I'm doing the best I can here.
I am.
I leave my body alone.
I root for everyone else.
Every day.
All day.
You try that.
Aren't I a cool stepmother?
Why is this coming now?
We have decided to adopt.
Because I want to have a child
with you.
I do.
And it's killing me
to know exactly what I want,
yet doing nothing about it.
We have applied.
We have a seminar this weekend.
People wait for years, Bjørn.
They have time to raise a dog
before anything happens.
-Do you want a dog?
-No, I want a direction!
We have been doing this
for seven years.
Seven!
And everything has been permeated
by this one thing
that didn't happen, unfortunately.
It is what it is.
I am also sad about that.
But we have to look ahead.
Be us.
-Focus on other dreams.
-Like what?
-Want to buy a cookie to support...
-Not now.
-Excuse me...
-I don't have any cash.
How much cash do you have?
100 in change
and a 50-kroner bill.
One morning at Auschwitz is worth
more than 1000 hours of school.
If I transfer 150 plus 10 to you,
can you give me your cash?
But then we won't have any change.
What if I give you 100 extra?
260 for your change and one cookie.
Okay, fine.
You're just going to
help yourself?
-Have a nice trip to Auschwitz.
-Thanks.
I'm sorry.
-What is that smell?
-Good morning to you.
Morten, we have to draw the line
somewhere.
Asthmatics have to be able
to breathe in here.
Good morning!
I wanted to create
a cozy atmosphere.
What is that smell?
Vanilla?
Vagina candles.
From Gwyneth Paltrow.
-Vagina?
-Very exclusive. Bought online.
That doesn't smell like a vagina.
I haven't smelled a vagina
in a while, so I can't comment.
Hi.
Listen up...
Can we not give money
to that woman outside?
Not to be mean,
but I don't want her settling in.
What is that smell?
I've put some things in your office
for you to sign.
Things?
-Such as...?
-Such as that CellBox cabinet.
-We have to sign up if we want one.
-I think it's crazy.
-What?
-Buying a new cabinet now?
Two and a half years after spending
300,000 to lease the last one?
So you don't care that
the cameras are improving
or that AI
is revolutionizing our industry?
It makes me sick
to hear you talk so calmly about AI.
"The machines are killing us!"
I'm serious.
Don't you see it happening?
Stop being so negative.
Can't you instead think
that things are improving?
Sure. But we can't simply invest
in new technology
every time we've saved up
some money.
We have to.
This is our incubator.
We have to have the best.
Okay.
But I want to hear it from them, why
this new cabinet is so much better.
-So you don't trust me?
-Nope.
Fine, I'll invite them.
When they come to Norway.
-Okay?
-Okay.
There you are!
I've been so excited
to show him to you.
I would have come sooner,
but so much has been going on
with my body and mind.
But thank you for everything.
Having a baby is so amazing!
Imagine, I almost missed out.
Elin helped mommy make you!
Maybe you should bring him
into the office?
...and just when you think
all hope is lost,
suddenly there he is!
And you realize that
this is when it begins.
I was so wrapped up
in my pregnancy
that I forgot
I was about to become a mother.
He's beautiful.
Yes, you are lovely.
You are such a lovely boy.
It's all thanks to you,
you realize that?
I was ready to give up.
But you said:
"We can do this!"
Yes, Elin told mommy:
"Don't give up!"
"It will work next time."
Yes, imagine that.
And it did.
The individual stories
are different.
But each child has a story.
It's important that you get involved
in where your children come from.
Their lives don't start
when they come to you.
They have all been separated from
their biological parents.
They have already experienced
loss and grief.
That leaves a mark.
The choice to adopt
is a life-long commitment.
And this may be obvious,
but it's important to emphasize:
It is never the child's job
to fulfil the parents' dream.
What if your adopted child
has questions about...
Live, don't worry too much
about the money.
What if your adopted child has many
questions about their background?
The next question is:
How will you feel if your child is
perceived as a refugee or immigrant?
-I've never thought about that.
-Me neither.
Do we really want to do this?
I want you to be happy.
Our family to be happy.
If this is what it takes,
I'm with you all the way.
...and not talk about
the real problem:
Bestiality!
It happens.
Every day.
As we speak,
some poor little pig is getting...
It isn't taboo.
It happens. Every day.
-What is it you do again?
-I'm an accountant.
Dry and structured, you could say.
Adila thinks it's so boring.
She'll say:
"Did everything add up today,
honey?"
-Basically telling me to shut up.
-I don't know what to say.
Imagine if he came home and said:
"Today I have had my entire arm
up a cow's ass"!
I had that too.
That ovulation app.
I've deleted it now.
Kind of the first commandment
when you're adopting.
Just be careful
when they make a home visit.
I know someone
whose app started beeping
while Child Services was there.
Their application was rejected.
But they also found hormone shots.
I didn't know they could look
in people's cupboards.
The couple went to court
to appeal the decision.
Claimed they should be allowed
to keep track of their own ovulation.
But that was a lie.
They hadn't given up hope.
Listen,
I just forgot to delete the app.
OVULATION
They actually had an animal brothel
in Denmark.
Some people
are into that kind of thing.
-You have to be able to walk.
-I'm trying!
-Walk!
-You know what we're going to do?
We're going to more seminars.
We're going to a seminar every
three months. This is fantastic!
This is better than going out
on the town. I love seminars!
I love you.
I love you.
That feels good!
Hang on.
No, no, no.
Hello!
Come on.
An insane veterinarian!
Hey there.
Look at me.
Hello?
Bjørn?
Hello?
There you are.
Come on.
Hey.
Hey...
But if we want a child together,
we have to do something.
Do we want a child together?
I want to have a child with you.
But not that way.
Because that didn't work.
Unfortunately.
So now we have to do
what we have decided.
Together.
I'm coming.
-Early in the morning.
-It's okay.
Bye.
Thank you.
Okay...
It's okay.
I'm a doctor.
You'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
We have to run!
It starts in two minutes. Jesus!
-Which way?
-Just run!
-Good luck, Stella.
-Thanks.
-They're really strict.
-Don't say that!
Friendly atmosphere.
It's only an evaluation.
They're just going to give you
some guidance.
Okay?
You'll do fine.
I promise.
Stella?
Just try to have fun with it.
Mum, stop it!
Listen, you're going to do great.
-Hello.
-Nice to see you.
Hi.
Hi!
I made it.
I had trouble finding a temp.
Sorry.
There's only space inside for two.
-But we're three.
-Is it possible to make an exception?
I'm sorry.
-You two go ahead.
-Are you sure?
This was unfortunate.
I've ruined everything.
No, don't worry about it.
Good luck.
-See you later.
-Good luck.
Thanks, Maiken.
See you next Thursday.
Cunt!
-Okay?
-I mean it. Cunt, cunt, cunt!
Hang on.
Give me two seconds.
It's dad.
Hi!
Listen...
Which drawer are you checking?
No, the dresser in the hall.
Yes, in the hall.
That's what I said.
Yes.
Okay, good. Bye.
-What can I offer?
-Anything with a documented effect.
Alcohol?
Chocolate?
Hash?
-Do you have hash lying around?
-Maybe, baby.
-Do you?
-Hash?
-You have a stash somewhere?
-Do you want some?
Sure!
Inhale.
And exhale.
And of course I had to give in,
before it got awkward for Stella.
It was like that vulture
was hiding in the bushes,
waiting to jump out
at the last second...
"You thought you could join them?"
How could they not have room
for three parents?
Right? And she was all:
"Aww, that's so unfortunate!"
Real unfortunate.
Fucking bitch.
-Where are you in your cycle?
-Don't even start.
I'm just saying, your body...
My body should just do its thing.
Exactly.
What?
Let's see...
-I sense some stagnation.
-You do? Great.
-If it's just before your period...
-It isn't!
No?
What is it, then?
Just...
I had been so looking forward to it.
It was my turn.
To be a proud parent.
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's my next patient.
It's okay.
Hi!
Die!
It's too easy.
What's easy?
Die, motherfucker!
-After you, shitface!
-I heard that.
Hi!
-How are things going here?
-Stop squirming!
How do you think it's going, dad?
You just take it easy.
You can get him over the edge.
You can get him over!
Hi. I heard
you were awesome yesterday.
I'm proud of you, too.
Hope that's okay.
Don't feed her ego.
She'll become intolerable.
That's it, now over the edge!
Talk to you never!
Yes!
You're messing with my focus.
It's my turn to crush you.
We'll get him together.
No!
-You won.
-I've never gotten a star before.
Without doing anything.
That's so typical!
Get the hell out of here!
Do you think I want to see
your ugly face right now?
What the hell are you doing?
Enough!
Can you come a little closer?
There.
Are you okay, Kjersti?
Yes.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
It's just...
It's our last time.
We can't afford any more.
I know.
-What if it doesn't work?
-It will.
-I feel it inside me.
-You really think so?
We're going to take out
everything you have.
Let's find that one golden egg.
-Okay?
-Yes.
Okay?
-Ready for the anesthesia?
-Yes.
Move a little closer, please.
One, two, and...
Three.
That's it.
Breathe.
There.
You'll feel a little jab.
Ready?
There.
Excellent.
You're doing good, Kjersti.
Don't forget to breathe.
I'm in on the left side.
First egg.
There are lots of eggs.
-Second egg.
-My God!
Hi.
Right.
I understand. It can be hard
to deliver under pressure
in such a clinical environment.
Why don't you go into your wife,
and we'll just try again later, okay?
Yeah?
Yes.
Couldn't you do it?
I was so stressed out.
It was just...
I don't know.
What if the eggs
don't get fertilized today?
Don't worry, they will.
You'll get a little anesthesia first,
okay?
You'll feel a little jab.
There you go.
It may hurt right now,
but that will pass in a few seconds.
Great. Just breathe normally
and lie perfectly still.
Perfectly still.
Pull it up.
A little more.
And a little more.
That's it.
There.
All done!
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
Well done.
The numbness will fade
in a few hours, okay?
You may bruise,
but that's nothing to worry about.
If it gets more painful or swollen,
let me know.
Teeming with life here.
-Need any help?
-I've got it.
For you.
Have I done something wrong?
Have you done something wrong?
I want to try one more time.
I don't mean
start over again, but...
Just one last time.
Please.
Please.
Have you forgotten what happened
last time?
What happened to you?
And to Stella?
I won't go through that again.
It's over.
I promise.
I won't become that person again.
Our relationship can't survive that.
It can't.
Elin.
I'm doing the best I can here.
I am.
I leave my body alone.
I root for everyone else.
Every day.
All day.
You try that.
Aren't I a cool stepmother?
Why is this coming now?
We have decided to adopt.
Because I want to have a child
with you.
I do.
And it's killing me
to know exactly what I want,
yet doing nothing about it.
We have applied.
We have a seminar this weekend.
People wait for years, Bjørn.
They have time to raise a dog
before anything happens.
-Do you want a dog?
-No, I want a direction!
We have been doing this
for seven years.
Seven!
And everything has been permeated
by this one thing
that didn't happen, unfortunately.
It is what it is.
I am also sad about that.
But we have to look ahead.
Be us.
-Focus on other dreams.
-Like what?
-Want to buy a cookie to support...
-Not now.
-Excuse me...
-I don't have any cash.
How much cash do you have?
100 in change
and a 50-kroner bill.
One morning at Auschwitz is worth
more than 1000 hours of school.
If I transfer 150 plus 10 to you,
can you give me your cash?
But then we won't have any change.
What if I give you 100 extra?
260 for your change and one cookie.
Okay, fine.
You're just going to
help yourself?
-Have a nice trip to Auschwitz.
-Thanks.
I'm sorry.
-What is that smell?
-Good morning to you.
Morten, we have to draw the line
somewhere.
Asthmatics have to be able
to breathe in here.
Good morning!
I wanted to create
a cozy atmosphere.
What is that smell?
Vanilla?
Vagina candles.
From Gwyneth Paltrow.
-Vagina?
-Very exclusive. Bought online.
That doesn't smell like a vagina.
I haven't smelled a vagina
in a while, so I can't comment.
Hi.
Listen up...
Can we not give money
to that woman outside?
Not to be mean,
but I don't want her settling in.
What is that smell?
I've put some things in your office
for you to sign.
Things?
-Such as...?
-Such as that CellBox cabinet.
-We have to sign up if we want one.
-I think it's crazy.
-What?
-Buying a new cabinet now?
Two and a half years after spending
300,000 to lease the last one?
So you don't care that
the cameras are improving
or that AI
is revolutionizing our industry?
It makes me sick
to hear you talk so calmly about AI.
"The machines are killing us!"
I'm serious.
Don't you see it happening?
Stop being so negative.
Can't you instead think
that things are improving?
Sure. But we can't simply invest
in new technology
every time we've saved up
some money.
We have to.
This is our incubator.
We have to have the best.
Okay.
But I want to hear it from them, why
this new cabinet is so much better.
-So you don't trust me?
-Nope.
Fine, I'll invite them.
When they come to Norway.
-Okay?
-Okay.
There you are!
I've been so excited
to show him to you.
I would have come sooner,
but so much has been going on
with my body and mind.
But thank you for everything.
Having a baby is so amazing!
Imagine, I almost missed out.
Elin helped mommy make you!
Maybe you should bring him
into the office?
...and just when you think
all hope is lost,
suddenly there he is!
And you realize that
this is when it begins.
I was so wrapped up
in my pregnancy
that I forgot
I was about to become a mother.
He's beautiful.
Yes, you are lovely.
You are such a lovely boy.
It's all thanks to you,
you realize that?
I was ready to give up.
But you said:
"We can do this!"
Yes, Elin told mommy:
"Don't give up!"
"It will work next time."
Yes, imagine that.
And it did.
The individual stories
are different.
But each child has a story.
It's important that you get involved
in where your children come from.
Their lives don't start
when they come to you.
They have all been separated from
their biological parents.
They have already experienced
loss and grief.
That leaves a mark.
The choice to adopt
is a life-long commitment.
And this may be obvious,
but it's important to emphasize:
It is never the child's job
to fulfil the parents' dream.
What if your adopted child
has questions about...
Live, don't worry too much
about the money.
What if your adopted child has many
questions about their background?
The next question is:
How will you feel if your child is
perceived as a refugee or immigrant?
-I've never thought about that.
-Me neither.
Do we really want to do this?
I want you to be happy.
Our family to be happy.
If this is what it takes,
I'm with you all the way.
...and not talk about
the real problem:
Bestiality!
It happens.
Every day.
As we speak,
some poor little pig is getting...
It isn't taboo.
It happens. Every day.
-What is it you do again?
-I'm an accountant.
Dry and structured, you could say.
Adila thinks it's so boring.
She'll say:
"Did everything add up today,
honey?"
-Basically telling me to shut up.
-I don't know what to say.
Imagine if he came home and said:
"Today I have had my entire arm
up a cow's ass"!
I had that too.
That ovulation app.
I've deleted it now.
Kind of the first commandment
when you're adopting.
Just be careful
when they make a home visit.
I know someone
whose app started beeping
while Child Services was there.
Their application was rejected.
But they also found hormone shots.
I didn't know they could look
in people's cupboards.
The couple went to court
to appeal the decision.
Claimed they should be allowed
to keep track of their own ovulation.
But that was a lie.
They hadn't given up hope.
Listen,
I just forgot to delete the app.
OVULATION
They actually had an animal brothel
in Denmark.
Some people
are into that kind of thing.
-You have to be able to walk.
-I'm trying!
-Walk!
-You know what we're going to do?
We're going to more seminars.
We're going to a seminar every
three months. This is fantastic!
This is better than going out
on the town. I love seminars!
I love you.
I love you.
That feels good!
Hang on.
No, no, no.
Hello!
Come on.
An insane veterinarian!
Hey there.
Look at me.
Hello?
Bjørn?
Hello?
There you are.
Come on.
Hey.
Hey...
But if we want a child together,
we have to do something.
Do we want a child together?
I want to have a child with you.
But not that way.
Because that didn't work.
Unfortunately.
So now we have to do
what we have decided.
Together.