Made in Heaven (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - A Marriage of Convenience - full transcript

Nice to see everyone here!

Let's begin the proceedings
with girl number four!

Hailing from Ludhiana...

Goldie, my darling, turn this thing on!

Let's do it.

Hailing from Ludhiana,
first up is Yamini Singh

standing at five feet six inches

weighing 55.5 kilos!

Goldie, at least play some music!

What makes a woman beautiful?

According to me



health, fitness and inner radiance
makes a woman beautiful.

I think there are three things that
can make any woman beautiful.

A Patiala outfit, colored hair

and I'm obviously a Sikh!

What makes a woman...

beautiful?

Beauty lies

in the eyes of the beholder.

It depends on how one perceives beauty.

A girl who may seem
ordinary to one person...

could be like Mona Lisa to someone else.

What is the key to being
a good wife in America?

Wife?

I'm very caring.



And I cook as well,
at least a little bit.

The rest, I'll learn.

What is the key to being
a good wife in America?

Even in America,
a wife must not forget her Indian values.

- Thank you.
- And the winner of Mrs. Gill title

my future daughter-in-law is,

Sukhmani Sadana!

What are you saying?
How are we supposed to afford this?

This is how much things cost
these days, sir.

You have got to understand that.

Sir, we're giving you the best rate.

I told him this yesterday as well.

How can the rates be higher here
than in Delhi?!

Fuck, man! These locals are unbelievable!

Just look at this Gurvinder, he's like...

Tara?

You okay?

Listen.

You know if things get weird,
you can leave. Right?

Things are weird.

Okay, then, I think you'll be perfectly

- in your place to...
- I think someone who's never

had a real relationship
should not be giving me advice.

Your heart may be broken
but your claws are intact, huh?

You hungry?

Yeah.

- Wanna eat?
- Yeah.

Chole Bhature?

- Yeah.
- Let's go!

I wanted the height of this arch
to be 12 feet.

This is just eight feet.

You'll have to make this arch again.

Hello? I'm talking to you.

Madam, we've made this in front of you.

Please call sir.

He will repeat what I've just said.
Make this again.

Things won't work like this.
Aye! Stop working, everyone!

Everyone, come here!

- Come down!
- You, come here.

This is not done.

It doesn't work like this.

Yes, it'll be done. One second.

I'll call you back in a bit.

What happened?

What's the matter?

Sir, please tell us what needs to be done.

I've already told you!

You have to increase
the height of the arch.

Sir, we'll do what you tell us.

- We aren't going to listen to a woman.
- Listen up!

This woman here is my boss. Got it?
Do whatever she asks you to do!

Break this and make it 12 feet in height.

Why are you looking at me?

Madam asked you to break it down
and make it 12 feet high. Get on with it!

Hurry up! Start working!

- All right, guys.
- Hurry up!

Sir? Do you need an invitation? Get up!

Dude. Whatever happens here, stays here.
Okay?

Don't worry, I'm not recording anything.

This is good stuff, bro!

It's fucking awesome.

Wanna hear a joke?

What do you call...

a gay man?

No? No?

A pain in the ass!

Oh, ho!

You've got a nice collection
of beauties over here!

You guys enjoy. I'll be back.

Line? Snow? Charlie?

- Gunpowder?
- You carry on.

- You know I love you, right?
- Yeah.

I don't care if you like pussy or ass.

- Okay.
- You'll always be my brother.

I know.

You alright, man?

You know that it's.

Hard out here for a pimp!

When you're trying to get
The money that is spent!

- On the Cadillac...
- Shut the fuck up, Kabir!

- Who are you calling a pimp?
- What the fuck are we doing here, boss?

What are we... We're working!

What? We do what it takes right now.

That's what you tell yourself?

Oh! Okay! Well...
what do you tell yourself?

When you're editing your documentary
on my time, my equipment?

What do you tell yourself?
I'm just curious.

Jaspreet.

When will you get home?

I think I'll be late today.

Thank God your work's going well.

Have you seen my brother?

Is it one of these guys?

Watch your mouth or I'll call the police.

What's the matter?

Are you looking for Gurpreet?

- Let me look for him.
- Don't get involved in this.

I'll handle it.

Do you remember,
or, should I call the cops?

Ask Umesh. They were together.

Are you in the kitchen?

I ran into Bensurya outside.

His cricket commentary just doesn't stop.

Today, he was cussing Ashish Nehra.

Can you make me a lemonade, please?

I'm going for a shower.

Renu.

The moisturizer is almost over.

This time,

get the ayurvedic cream.

That herbal thing.

I like the unscented one.

Really nice.

My laptop?

Were you using it?

I know.

Disgusting, right?

You saw it yourself.

Karan.

Dirty man!

I'm glad my office's security camera
came to some use.

You know...

I've always suspected this guy.

Right from the first time I met him.

And you were just watching?

How many times?

I wasn't watching it for fun!

I need to watch the evidence I collect.
Right?

The cops won't believe me unless
I have something to show them!

You'll give this video to the police?

- Obviously.
- When?

- Tomorrow morning.
- For sure?

Tomorrow...

What do you mean, Renu?

Uncle, you're happy with
all the arrangements?

- All is well, thank God.
- This one is always happy, isn't it?

Always be happy!

You were cribbing in New Jersey!

In Ludhiana, suddenly you're happy again!

Have the chicken here and
you'll know what I mean!

Chicken? As if you don't get
chicken in New Jersey!

Yeah?

- The truck was in an accident.
- What?!

- How?!
- The fucking driver was drunk.

He managed to escape
but all of the stuff is gone!

Oh, fuck!

We need a plan B.

All the fabric, the...

cutlery, everything!

It's gone. Call Ali.

And the heart-shaped bed?

Yeah, Shibani, but the tent has to be

stitched in Ludhiana, right?
So organize it.

- You have a day.
- Yeah, but, Tara...

Where the fuck are we?

I'm Tara Khanna, Karan.

I can't be doing these lame-ass jobs!

Speak to me...
next time you have to confirm shit?

What do you think of Jeet?

The guy had a beauty contest
to choose a bride.

Yeah, he's a prick.

And, anyway...

why is Sukhmani marrying him?
She doesn't...

fit into this world.

Oh, you mean she's too low class?

The guy can be a total asshole.
That's fine with you.

The girl being low class
is a bigger problem!

That's not at all what I meant.

Pull over.

What, at the chemist?

Yeah.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

So, tell me how you met Sukhmani.

So, my mom put this whole
thing together, you know.

So that's where I met her.

You mean this... this event, right?

- Yeah, yeah! This event. Yeah.
- Okay.

You don't think it's strange
to have a competition?

It's not weird.

Everything in America's a contest, dude.

You're either a winner or a loser.

Sukhmani should get used to that.

What would you say
if you actually...

you... you talk to the girl.

That would be a better way
to get to know her, right?

Been there. Done that.

Say Sukhmani gets in touch with you.
She's like, "Hey, Jeet..."

I'm having a competition.
Do you wanna participate?"

You'd be okay with that?

Look! No one is forcing
these girls to do anything.

- Hmm.
- Okay?

They're the ones who want
to leave this shit-hole

and go to America.

And I'm their ticket out.

So... it works both ways.

Anyway, what are you?
Like the official video person, right?

Yeah, I'm the official video person.

Yeah, so just...
stick to your job.

So...

tell me more about Sukhmani.

She's lovely.

She's going to...

bring her strong Indian values...

to our life in America.

Hmm.

It's going to be great.

Yup.

Brother, you have something heavy in red?

In this color, yeah, we
should have something.

Take a look at this.

No chance this will work.

It has to be heavy!
Ali, we only have an hour.

- Please find something fast!
- I'll figure it out.

- Hello, Mama?
- Hello?

- Where are you? I miss you.
- Nayan?

- Where's grandma?
- Everyone has enrolled for it.

- I'm the only one left.
- I'm coming.

- I'm coming in three days, sweetheart.
- I won't go, right?

- Who said?
- My teacher.

You tell your teacher

I'll come back and we'll go
shopping for the trip.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

Promise?

- I promise!
- I won't be able to go, Mama.

Of course you're going.

Don't worry.

Yeah. Okay.

I'll see you when I'm home.

- Love you, Mama. Bye.
- Yeah?

Bye.

This number is currently unavailable.
Please leave a message.

Sameer, it's me.

Please call me back.
Your daughter needs you.

- Do you have a cigarette?
- Hmm.

Give me one.

Don't tell anyone.

So, you must be excited.

Hmm?

Who doesn't want to go to America?

There's nothing worth staying for
in this place.

Can't even find a decent boy here.

Most of them are junkies.

I've been trying for two years.

I was 19 when I heard about
the competition for the first time.

Why is there a competition
to get married?

They come down from America.

They don't have the time
to meet every girl.

This way, everything is clear.

And now, I've had the experience.
I know the answers they like.

So then, that's how I answer.

"Indian values" and all.

Listen, here's the most important thing.

Eye contact.

Hmm?

You have to maintain eye contact

and always have a small smile on you face!

My grooming teacher taught me that.

You haven't started yet?

I'm ready.

Shall we?

The camera doesn't pick up smell,
it's okay.

Maybe.

- Okay, how do I look?
- You look great.

- Where do you want me to look?
- Right here.

- In the lens.
- Okay.

So...

you must be excited.

Going to America!

I'm very excited.

I love America.

Have you been there before?

No!

I'm going there as Jeet's wife.

So, how do you feel about
Jeet picking you...

as the winner of the competition.

- It felt like...
- Sameer?

I had become Miss World, you know?

When our eyes met on
that stage for the first time...

it was like love at first sight.

I'm feeding her!
I'm giving her an education!

At least this is the one
thing you can pay for?

Let her learn from her disappointment.
Shibani, I really can't transfer.

Fuck you, you know what?
Fuck you, Sameer!

Fuck you! You selfish asshole!

Sorry, just give us a minute.

Can I keep this one?

Sure.

Did he call you?

Jeet wants me to go there and study.

You're so lucky, Sukhi.
I hope I find someone like that.

Yeah, she's really lucky, isn't she?

Hello?

Am I talking to Sukhmani?

Speaking.

Hello, this is Deepti.

Deepti?

You don't know me.
I'm Jeet's ex-wife.

I thought it was important to call you.

Actually, umm...

Why are you calling me?

- I wanted to talk to you...
- But I don't want to talk to you.

- But I...
- Jeet has told me everything about you.

- Please don't phone here.
- At least hear me out, Sukhmani...

Who was it?

- Jeet's first wife.
- Why is she calling you?

How would I know?

You should have asked.

They hadn't even been married six months

and she was already having an affair.

She's got some balls, doesn't she?

Calling me when the wedding
is around the corner.

- Nayan? Why are you still awake?
- Mama, Paris...

I promise you're going to Paris,
I'm going to make it happen.

Okay, Mama.

I've done everything for Umesh.

But he just can't get off those drugs.

They must both be in Hauzrani park.

So...

what do you think?

All these designs have been
personally picked by Mrs. Gill.

It's all nice.

But this... bed is not heart-shaped.

This is a differently designed
heart-shaped bed, Ma'am.

Don't worry, it'll be fine.

It's the only thing my daughter asked for.

A heart-shaped bed.

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

- Bye, Auntie.
- Bye.

Thank you.

Arrigato gosaimasu!

Good night!

- Good night!
- Good night.

What is it?

- What were we drinking?
- Huh?

I'm...

Oh, Sake.

Whatever it was, it was a meeting
so I had to keep a straight face.

- That guy was totally staring at me.
- Yeah?

- You didn't notice?
- No.

I was just paying attention to
make sure the deal closed.

Well, good night.

I'm wide awake with
this Sake, by the way.

So you...
wanna get another drink?

Sure.

Wow!

Whiskey?

No.

Beer.

Can I use your restroom?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

As a kid, I used to know all of the...

all about all of the animals, you
know that lived underwater like...

like seahorses, the males,
they carry the babies in a pouch.

And they mate for life, actually...

- Adil.
- Hey.

What happened? You were
going to call me after the meeting.

- Yeah.
- What, yeah? What do you mean, yeah?

Natasha, I'm still in the meeting.

Okay, fine.

Tara ma'am?

Is everything okay?

What did she say?

First you get better, then
we'll talk about all this...

What did she say?

She knows.

And?

And? I don't know.

You don't know?

No.

Have you thought about what happens next?

Do you want me to talk to someone?

Get up!

Where's the jewellery?

Where's the money?

Where is my jewellery?!

Leave me alone! Leave me alone!

You've driven me mad!

I've been looking for you for three days!

You fucker, you get high
and we're the ones dying!

Why?

Why?

Why?!

How's it going?

Yeah.

Is everything okay?

Kabir told me.

Yeah, I'm okay.

God, I don't know how you manage.

I don't manage.

I need another plan.

Listen, umm...

let me pay for the Paris trip.

I don't need your charity.
You know, Karan?

What I need is a promotion,
and what I need is a raise.

And what I need is to not be doing this
production shit anymore!

- Hello?
- Hello.

- Good evening, Doctor.
- Good evening, Tara. Tell me.

It didn't happen.

I'm sorry to hear that, Tara.
But all your tests are good.

It could be stress or then...

- Or, then, what?
- It could be Adil.

Sperm count motility.

We should just get him tested...

to rule it out.

- Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Oye! Get up!

Where? Where's he?

Fuck! No, no! Bhatia! Bhatia!

Bhatia!

Bhatia!

Fuck! Gurvinder!

- Fucking call an ambulance! Quickly!
- I'm calling them!

Bhatia!

Don't they teach you anything
in this fucking shit-hole?

Okay, Auntie, I'm going to leave.

If you need anything,
don't hesitate to call me.

Okay.

So, he's going to be okay.

Thank God.

Happy birthday, Tara.

What?

It's okay.

It's okay.

I got you.

I got you.

Music is shit, no?

Hey. At least play one Bollywood song!

- I don't take requests.
- But it's my birthday!

Please!

Please, please!

- What's your name?
- Tara.

Happy birthday, Tara.

And may your taste in
music improve this year.

See, I thought it was me.

And I tried everything...

but he kept blaming me.

And Sukhmani, I just want to
let you to know it's not you.

It's him. He is impotent.

I couldn't live with a lie like that.

And at the end of the day,
you need a physical relationship...

Listen, I have to go.

I'm sorry I didn't talk to you properly.

Don't worry about it.

Just, you can call me any time you want.

So, I guess this is it, then?

At least we finished with a bang.

You know I love you, right?

Oh, hello.

- Hey, Auntie.
- I didn't know you were here.

Yeah, I just came to check on her.

I feel really responsible.

He was just leaving.

Yeah, yeah. I have a meeting.

Bye.

Don't do this, darling.

Your father's very angry.

He's your friend's husband.

Yeah.

In cases of impotency,
marriages are usually dissolved.

You don't have to get into
the hassle of a divorce.

Then, after that?

After that, meaning?
You'll be free.

You can focus on your career.

When you find a nice guy, you know...

What freedom?

What life?

Don't you know?

In Ludhiana, dissolving a marriage
and getting divorced, is one and the same.

Everyone will blame me
and nobody will marry me.

I'm sure it's not so bad, Sukhmani.

We can find you a lawyer.

- I mean, you have your whole life...
- Exactly!

I have my whole life ahead of me!

I did all this to go to America.

That path will close forever, won't it?

Okay, thank you.

I guess there are some problems

that even wedding planners cannot solve.

I'm going.

I'm getting late.

This breaks my heart.

On the surface it seems like
you made a selfish choice.

What happened, dear?

Nothing.

I'll miss home.

But the truth is...

you were just operating from
the lack of self-worth

this world has gifted you.

A world where you've been
made to believe that the price

for your acceptance and happiness

must be paid by you
appeasing an entitled man.

And sadly... you are not alone.

Happy birthday.

I can't remember the last time you'd
come to the airport to pick me up.

I'm sorry about that.

It's not just an affair, Adil.

It's not some random chick
you met at a bar.

It's Faiza, she's your friend.

- You have feelings for her.
- That's not true.

It's not how you think.

I want you to stop seeing her.

- I don't want her around anywhere.
- I already have.

I swear.

I'm not pregnant.

Doctor says it could be you.

What do you mean?

You could have a problem.

It's not funny.

I need you to go see her.

I want you to go get tested.

I want a baby, Adil.

Yes?

- Karan Mehra?
- Yes.

- One second. What?
- We have an arrest warrant in your name.

- Why?
- Under Section 377.

Come on, let's go to the station.

No, no!
One second, I need to make a phone call.

You can make your call from the station.

- Please just let me make one call!
- Call from the station!

- How can you do this?!
- Come on, let's go!

You can't treat me like this!

You think you're above all this?
Come on!

Stop resisting!
It'll only get worse from here!

You've made a mistake, I'm telling you!

We'll tell you who's made the mistake!

I'm coming with you!
Don't push me!

- Mitali, listen I...
- Where are you taking him?!

- Mitali!
- The police station!

Mitali!

My phone is upstairs.
Just call my friend Tara!

- Tara.
- Okay, immediately, please.

- I'll call her!
- Now! Please!