Mad Men (2007–2015): Season 4, Episode 1 - Public Relations - full transcript

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

JACK: Who is Don Draper?

Excuse me?

Who is Don Draper?

What do men say
when you ask that?

Well, they usually take
a minute to think about it,

and then they do something cute.

One creative director
said he was a lion tamer.

I don't want to do that.

In the third person?

I don't know.



Knockout wife, two kids,
house in Westchester.

Take the train,
maybe take your car

now that you can afford it.

And who told you that?

Anything? I mean,
now's your chance.

Well, as I said before,
I'm from the Midwest.

We were taught that it's not
polite to talk about yourself.

Obviously your Glo-Coat
floor wax commercials

caused a bit of a squeal.

On the creative side, anyway.

What made you
think of this idea?

I wanted it to be
indistinguishable from the movies.

I wanted people to
be watching it and say,

"What's happening in the story
right now? Oh! It's something else."



It's not an ad.

At least not for the
first 30 seconds of it.

Very good, then. I
think I have all I need.

It's only a few hundred words,

but on the bright side, the picture
may be bigger than the article.

Oh.

You all should meet. This is Jack
Hammond from Advertising Age.

Roger Sterling
and Pete Campbell.

I hope we're not interrupting this crisp
and engaging portrait you're painting.

(CLATTERS)

Steady there.

What happened there?

Korea.

We're grateful for
your sacrifice. Peter.

Jack. Well, it's
nice to meet you all.

Yeah, I'd love to bend your
ear when I finish my book.

Certainly.

Don, it was a pleasure.

I look forward to
the article. We all do.

My uncle lost his
leg hitching a trailer.

He used to ask me to scratch
his toes. He didn't have any.

We don't have time, Roger.

One quick pop, Louise.

All right. Where is this
party? The Sheraton?

A wooden leg.

They're so cheap they can't
even afford a whole reporter.

I'm Peter Campbell, and
I'm assuming you're Jim.

Yeah. PETE: And
this must be Murray.

Bob. Murray stayed in Portland.

Too bad. Missing
jackhammer season.

Roger Sterling.

And you must be Donald Draper.

Don.

Bob.

We're very, very excited you
had time to meet with us, Don.

Murray told us Y&R
had done Glo-Coat.

Turns out everybody in New York,

except him, knows it's you.

And I think they're
a little jealous.

Can't tell who
the client is here.

I know a little,

but what we need to know,
what Don needs to know is,

what exactly is your concern?

Well, I must say I'm getting
tired of saying this today.

Next time, just
have one meeting.

(BOTH LAUGH)

We at Jantzen have had a
steady 25% bite of the apple.

But the two-piece is
most of our concern.

You have a great bikini.

I've spent some
time with the catalog,

and I would say
no concerns at all.

It's not a bikini.

Bikini is underwear
you wear to the beach.

We make a
two-piece bathing suit.

We're a family company.

And nowadays it's
tough to make a dent

if your ads don't look
like a girlie magazine.

Do you want women who want
bikinis to buy your two-piece,

or do you just want to make sure

women who want a two-piece
don't suddenly buy a bikini?

My Lord.

That question just
tied a knot in my brain.

(CHUCKLES)

Our competitors get bigger the
smaller they make that swimsuit.

We don't do that.

We would like to find a way
without playing in the gutter.

And that's just who
our customers are.

Right now.

I love how they sit there
like a couple of choirboys.

You know one of them is
leaving New York with VD.

Where the hell have you been?

ROGER: What's the problem?

Don! Can you give me a minute?

I don't mind waiting.

(PHONES RINGING)

How'd it go?

Get back to work.

How was your interview?

Count to 100 and buzz me.

COOPER: You
missed Jeff Atherton.

He came here
expressly to see you.

I'm sorry, I didn't
know he was coming,

and I don't know who that is.

You have no idea how tiny
this place looks to a stranger.

Did you tell him
about the second floor?

I refuse to be any
part of that charade.

I wanted an office
downtown. We overspent.

We could have got a
lot more for our money.

And we could have
had a conference table.

Atherton thought the lack of a
conference table was deliberate.

He felt that a circle of chairs

demands a conversation.

About why there is no table.

(SIGHS)

They loved you. What
exactly is the problem?

Well, first of all,
they're prudes.

Second of all, Y&R was standing
in the hallway when we left.

You've been on a
cattle call before.

When the competition was fair.

Every hour of my time
has to be accounted for

in the growth of this company.

Get me in a room
where I have a chance.

In the end, it's going to come
down to big versus small.

There's two firms in the middle,

Kenyon & Eckhardt and D'Arcy.

They'll cancel each other out.

Y&R has six floors of creative.

They can throw bodies
at this account for weeks.

We don't have that
kind of firepower.

We don't have to. We're
the scrappy upstart.

You don't say that
to the clients, do you?

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

SECRETARY: Your
accountant is waiting.

Send him in.

Creatively, Y&R is not capable

of living in this neighborhood.

You know why?

Because you don't work there.

(MOCK URGENCY) John.

(MOCK URGENCY) Marsha.

John.

Marsha.

John.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Ooh! My mother's
gonna be over the moon.

Enjoy it.

It's the last thing we're
going to get from them.

What?

Did you kill Sugarberry?

That's a third of my work.

Stop jumping to conclusions.

I guess when Kreutzer said they
were going to send us all hams,

he really meant one in a
cardboard box with no note.

It's about as subtle
as an atomic bomb.

Maybe they're cheap.

Do you honestly think
this is a good sign?

The work was old-fashioned.

And whose fault is that?

Well, testing at four
supermarkets in Queens.

How much were they
spending? Nothing.

If the test was a success,

they would have gone national,

and it could be a big account.

Damn it!

I thought we were
getting on a streak.

Does this mean I'm
down to two days a week?

Don hated the work.

Put the ham on his desk.

He's probably having
Thanksgiving dinner alone in there.

That's not nice.

(FEIGNING SHOCK) Marsha!

I'm serious.

I have a life insurance policy.

It's a company policy.

It pays the company,
not the family.

What do you think?

It wouldn't be bad to have
a little security for the kids.

According to this, I'm
already a wealthy man.

Uncle Sam will
take a healthy bite.

He already has.

And the only other
issue is the house.

What about it?

Well, October 1st, she
was supposed to be out.

It seemed so far away
when we agreed to that.

Get her and him out
of there and sell it.

I can call Ben Michaelson
and have him draft a doozy.

Start World War III?

You're carrying a
mortgage, plus insurance,

and taxes for a
house you don't live in.

Leave it alone.

So how are your balls?
Are you enjoying yourself?

Come on.

"I don't want it like
this. I want it like that.

"Not too much of that,
just a little like this."

And then they look at
it, and they don't like it.

Two of their test markets
are in Jewish neighborhoods.

They're idiots.

How much does it cost
for us to buy all the product?

Too much, and we'd
have to do it every day.

So how much does
it cost for us to get

100 women to line up at
one store one afternoon,

clean them out once?

One hundred people? Do
you know how big a line that is?

People would talk about it.

It's a PR stunt.
We don't do that.

Why not?

Because you can't charge for it.

So what? (SIGHING)

Two women fighting over one ham,

but they have to really fight.

They have to get
arrested or something.

Because it's the last ham.

We don't have to write a play.

It's Thanksgiving. They're
shopping, the stakes are very high.

Old Chuck Dewey could probably
get a story in the Daily News

for a case of something.

$25 per actress. We could
get Gladys what's-her-name.

Who's the old lady who
never takes off her mittens?

I don't have any money.

John!

Marsha!

I can use my expense account

if I say they're whores.

Top-shelf liquor,
what's that gonna run?

Harry gets a case a month

for sticking his nose up
some guy's ass at NBC.

Should I run it by Don?

Really?

We'll see. I'll call casting.

(DOOR OPENS)

Good. I got you when
you're vulnerable.

(SNIFFS)

What do you need?

Someone white
to carve our turkey.

(DON SIGHS)

I can't, Roger. I have plans.

You told me that.

Then you told me you
had the kids the day after.

But you never said no
to Jane's friend Bethany.

No.

I was thinking the other day

about what happens
when you leave here,

and it made me very upset.

I could say the same thing.

I'll paint you the
picture that's in my mind,

but if it's true, I
might kill myself.

I've hardly been a monk.

Forget that she knows
Jane. This girl's terrific.

She looks like
Virginia Mayo, she's 25,

Mount Holyoke gymnastics team.

See her this weekend.

You hit it off, come Turkey
Day, maybe you can stuff her.

(CHUCKLES)

Sweetheart, 8:00 Saturday
night, Jimmy's La Grange.

For beauty and the beast.

Roger.

They have chicken Kiev.

The butter squirts everywhere.

Hello, Mr. Draper.

Hello, Celia.

I made you some pork
chops. They're good cold, too.

I look forward to it.

But you don't eat nothing.

Have you seen my shine kit?

I put it on the
top of the closet.

(CHATTER ON TV)

The children coming
this weekend?

No. You need to put things
back where you found them.

I didn't want to leave it
in the middle of the floor.

Okay, good night. You
have a good weekend.

And eat something.

(GUNSHOT ON TV)

(OLD WEST MUSIC PLAYING)

Let me out of here!

Let me out of here!

Let me out of here!

(EXHALING HEAVILY)

Footprints on a wet floor.

That's no longer
a hanging offense.

Glo-Coat's patented formula

goes on easy and
dries in seconds.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(CHATTER ON TV)

So how do you know Jane?

Before you ask me
all the questions,

you have to let
me finish one glass.

I don't have to ask
you any questions.

I think I'm actually nervous.

I haven't done
this since college.

Not that it was so long
ago, although it seems like it.

I borrowed a dress.

You sat down so fast I
didn't get a good look.

Do you want to see it?

(GIGGLES)

I can't believe I did that.

It's hard to believe there are
two girls who can wear that.

Don, I want to lift a
shadow off this evening.

I know this is your first date.

First that Roger
was involved in.

Oh, of course.
I'm sure. It's just...

I'm breaking a lot of my
rules seeing a divorced man.

But Jane has made
you her personal cause.

And there are so many
real problems in the world.

I know. The world
is so dark right now.

The country?

My goodness, you've made me
feel very serious all of a sudden.

I don't know if I can make
you feel better about the world.

One of the boys
killed in Mississippi,

Andrew Goodman,
he was from here.

A girlfriend of mine knew
him from summer camp.

Is that what it takes
to change things?

What do you do?

I'm an actress.

But right now I'm a
super in the opera.

And what is that?

A supernumerary.

We're the actors
that fill the stage.

Like the chorus?

No singing.

I do a lot of mock
drinking. I'm a wench.

I'm a courtesan.
Part of a harem.

It depends on the opera.

That is truly fascinating.

I love the music,
and I love backstage.

Our costumes are as
good as the singers'.

And I love the stories.

They're very romantic.

Have you been?

I have.

But only for business,
so I've never enjoyed it.

Well, then you must
come as my guest.

They give the supers tickets

instead of paying a decent wage.

WAITER: Madam?

I don't even need to
look. Chicken Kiev.

They make you wear a bib.

Come on. Let's have some fun.

Two chicken Kievs.

The Barbizon.

I bet that would
make a great opera.

It would.

Well, I guess this
is "good night."

Okay.

Good night.

So am I gonna see you at Roger
and Jane's for Thanksgiving?

It's tempting, but I have plans.

Oh, I'm sure the holidays
must be very complex.

It may have been a while since
you've had to pick up on messages,

but I want to see you again.

How about right now?

I stopped the meter.

We can start it again. It'll
be like I just picked you up.

Will you please take a weak no?

Let's see where we
are New Year's Eve.

If it's meant to be, it'll keep.

Let me walk you in.

No. I know that trick.

(SIGHING)

Waverly and 6th Avenue.

I think you both really
acquitted yourselves well.

She doesn't know when to stop.

You don't know when to stop.

My objective was to get the ham.

No one told you to hit
me. That wasn't part of it.

The important thing is that...

Oh. Here's Mr. Campbell.

I've been assured that you
ladies can look for your names

and perhaps your picture
in Monday's Daily News.

What section?

It's the Daily News.
It's one big section.

All in all, not a bad
way to spend a Sunday.

Can you go back to the
market and get me some aspirin?

We probably shouldn't have any
more contact for the time being.

(PILLS RATTLING)

Shall we?

We really appreciate your talent

and, of course, your discretion.

You hurt me. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ladies, ladies, ladies!

Daisy!

Walk her to the train.

Are you okay, dear? Yeah.

Let's get you in a cab.

Morning.

Welcome back. How
was Los Angeles?

Very hard to leave.

I would love a vacation.

It wasn't a vacation.

I had a lot of tsuris
with Lucy and Desi.

Has someone been
using my office?

Mr. Sterling doesn't
have a television.

I'm calling a meeting for
11:00. No, make it 1:00.

Do we have a table yet?

1:30, and no.

Hi. Yes?

Do you know where
the Secor rough cut is?

PEGGY: I got it!

Don't you want to know why?

I sold the Jai Alai TV special.

Really?

ABC, they're moving towards

all these eccentric
sporting events, go-karts.

Well, that's very exciting.

Can you get someone to track
down a cup of coffee for me?

And I'd love a grapefruit juice.

And, Joan, that is my news.

I won't even tell
people after it's aired.

Good morning, Mr. Draper.

Don, can I speak
with you for a minute?

Morning.

Lane, would you
excuse us for a minute?

Of course.

Good morning, Don.

You know, no one who's ever
been associated with an actual event

has thought it's been portrayed
honestly in the newspaper.

"Donald Draper, or
Don as he is known,

"perhaps in an attempt
to appear humble,

"is a handsome cipher.

"One imagines
somewhere in an attic

"there's a painting of
him that's rapidly aging."

For a guy from Ad
Age, he can really write.

He also says you're married.

Jesus.

He never asked me that.
Did he check any facts?

You didn't give him any facts.

He had to make some assumptions.

My job is to write ads,

not go around talking
about who I am.

Who knows who you are?

This was supposed to be
an advertisement for the firm.

Why do you have so many copies?

I bought one to read.

I was going to buy one to frame
in reception, and then I read it.

I just wanted to get them
all before anyone else did.

It'll be lining bird
cages by Friday.

This is a missed opportunity.

You turned all the sizzle
from Glo-Coat into a wet fart.

Plus, you sound like a prick.

Well, it's done.

I learned a valuable lesson.

Stay away from
one-legged reporters.

Yeah, I was thinking about that.

Who is he to criticize anybody?

Just so you don't kill yourself,

there was some good news.

Jane's friend found
you to be charming.

Although a little
grabby in the car.

That is good news. Thank you.

She liked you. Maybe you
should have fondled Peg-Leg Pete.

They raise you up and
they knock you down.

I don't know what I could
have done differently.

I believe that you were
being modest, but he didn't.

I'm sorry, but after
the year you've had,

it's just not
appropriate anymore.

He's expecting us!

Is Joey coming? I'm here.

Oh.

Why can't you
come to our office?

Do you want to hear what
Sugarberry said or not?

Shoot.

It was uproarious.
First it's Darryl,

and he tells me about how they
stared at the article all day yesterday,

worrying about a lawsuit.

So I hang up and debate whether or
not to tell Don, throw myself on my sword.

And then Kreutzer calls to tell me
other papers picked up the story.

And I think, "He knows
it's us," but how could he?

And he said everyone,
especially Darryl, was very excited.

And then he gets Christian.

He's sorry someone got hurt,

but more people will taste
their ham now, and they'll love it.

(CHUCKLES)

It's beautiful.

How do you put something
like this in your book?

You can't. We can't
even charge them.

Well, it wouldn't be
a bad idea for them

to increase their media budget.

Seize the moment.

With more crappy ads?

Hopefully not. You use it.

"The winner of the
ham battle is you."

Can you imagine?

Lane's dentures would
drop out of his head

if we came in with
an additional buy.

"Our hams are
worth fighting for."

A cartoon pilgrim and an Indian
in a tug of war with the ham.

Old ladies will smile.

Why didn't you pitch that two
months ago? It's good on its own.

A slogan's nothing when
you have a good idea.

Black crayon. I
need it in an hour.

Chop-chop, Joey.

Clara, could you get
Darryl for me at Sugarberry?

Tell him it's urgent.

I may need you.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

SECRETARY: Horace
Cook, Jr. It's urgent.

Ho-Ho. How was Tijuana?

I have to say, it's a
very flattering picture.

And I don't think I'd mind
being described that way.

Mr. Crane, you're a salesman.

You do not want to be
known as mysterious.

There'll be no
further discussion.

I just got off the phone with
Ho-Ho. Jai Alai is leaving.

What? It's over.

Bullshit. I just sold
a TV special to ABC.

Well, apparently Don didn't
mention them in the article.

I didn't mention anyone.
That's the reporter's job.

Spectacular.

What the hell's Ho-Ho
doing reading Ad Age?

Fix it.

Todd got all the
partners from CGC to call,

and they worked
them up and down.

They told him we
laugh about him.

I don't!

Get him on the
phone, get him in here

or camp out in his driveway.

He hung up on me.

I think he was crying.

How much was left
in Ho-Ho anyway?

We'll survive with
Jai Alai off our list.

We will survive,
but for how long?

The loss of Jai Alai

makes Lucky Strike
71% of our billings.

It's an untenably
insecure position.

Harry, why don't you call and
pretend like you don't know any of this.

Give it an hour so
he'll take the call.

I wish we really
had a second floor

so I could jump off it.

I'm going to have to get
you another interview.

The Wall Street Journal.

And what do I do differently?

I told him the truth.

Who gives a crap
what I say anyway?

My work speaks for me.

Turning creative success
into business is your work.

And you've failed.

It'll pass.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

ALL: Happy Thanksgiving.

PAULINE: We started without you.

Oh, Grandma Pauline, I told you
Mother's was at noon. We already ate.

Well, you're supposed to
overeat on Thanksgiving.

Thank you.

Jamie, you'll have something?

We missed dessert.

You're next to your father.

Put up some coffee, dear.

Hi, Daddy.

Isn't that sweet?

We didn't forget you.

What do you say?

Thank you. Thanks.

After you eat.

The traffic was simply murder.

That's because that's
what's become of this country.

Everyone has two
Thanksgivings to go to.

Maybe we have twice
as much to be thankful for.

Don't you like the food, dear?

No.

Sally Draper, that's rude.

You love cranberry sauce.

It has seeds in it.

How about the sweet
potato? I'm not hungry.

Look, there's marshmallow.

(COUGHING)

Oh, Lord.

(SALLY GAGGING)

She might have a fever.

I'm sorry.

It's all right, dear.

Isabel, can you bring a rag?

SALLY: Ow! Stop pinching me!

(DOOR CLOSES)

I love sweet potatoes.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Isabel.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Happy Thanksgiving.

Do you want a drink?

I don't have much time. I
have supper with my family.

Oh.

Of course you do.

Should I not have
mentioned my family?

I never know how
you're going to react.

No, that's fine.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Let me take off my brassiere.

No. In a minute.

(SIGHING) Stop telling me
what to do. I know what you want.

So do it.

Harder.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Again.

(PHONE RINGING)

WOMAN: Hold on.

Surprise. It's for you.

Why did you answer it?

It was the third
try. I couldn't take it.

Hello?

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm sorry to bother you.

I didn't know you'd have guests.

What's wrong?

I need $280 for bail.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(SOFTLY) Bye.

Where are you?

It's not for me.

Spit it out, honey.

You're going to laugh.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Pete and I hired some actresses

to get in a fight over
a Sugarberry ham.

You know, as a stunt.

We got them to increase
their media budget.

Hello?

I'm here.

Well, one of them
pressed charges

against the other for assault.

It's $80 bail and $100 apiece
to keep their mouths shut.

And it has to happen today.

Call Pete!

Do you think
you're my first call?

Hello. I'm so
sorry to bother you.

I ought to let you
twist in the wind.

It still worked out.

You'll be very happy.

I'm not happy.

And I don't think
it's funny or cute.

You run something
like that by me first.

I would have kept you
from looking like an idiot,

or worse yet, making me look
like one. Is that what you want?

You want people to
think we're idiots, Peggy?

Hey, there's no
reason for name-calling.

She's been agonizing.

Who are you?

I'm her fiance.

Mark, don't.

Why'd you bring him up here
if you didn't want him involved?

I know. I'm sorry, Don.

Fiance? It just came out.

Did you put the dog out?

It's cold outside. But I
locked her in the laundry room.

It's not cold in here.

(RATTLING)

(PHONE DIALING)

Sally.

I was calling Daddy.

Hello?

I wanted to wish him
a happy Thanksgiving.

You'll see him tomorrow.

You want to call him to
complain about how awful I am?

Don't expect any sympathy
when he hears my side of the story.

Don't! Go to bed.

(SIGHS) I'm going to have them
take that phone out of the hallway.

(SIGHING) Tomorrow,
when the kids go,

why don't we have
Carla take the baby,

and we'll drive
to a nice dinner?

Maybe Essex.

The Griswold Inn.

Okay.

(SIGHING)

I'm really full, Betty.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Daddy!

(DON GRUNTS)

Dad.

How much turkey did you eat?

I ate everything.

(GROANS)

Hello, Daddy. Hello.

9:00 tomorrow night.

Where's the baby?

I had Carla take him.

You weren't going to.
Henry and I have plans.

I'd like to see him.

Hello, Don. Henry.

Come on, let's go.

Garage door.

What are you doing?

You know what I'm doing.

The button fell off my pajamas.

I'll sew it on in the morning.

You know how to sew?

I can do a button.
I'll show you.

I'll leave the light
on in the bathroom

so there won't be any
more problems, okay?

Okay.

Good night, Daddy.

Good night, both of you.

(CHATTERING)

(RINGING DOORBELL)

(SIGHS)

Do you have your key?

Hello?

Maybe they're asleep.

(WHISPERS) Go upstairs.

(CHATTER ON TV)

(BARKING)

(BETTY AND HENRY LAUGHING)

HENRY: What the hell is
the dog doing in the house?

You run up to bed. I'll wait.

For what?

Oh.

It's almost 10:00.

I thought you said 10:00.

She didn't.

I've waited for
you plenty of times.

Henry, do you mind?

Betty? It's okay.

Does that mean I
should stay or not stay?

Stay.

When are you moving out?

I don't know.

Well, you were supposed
to be out a month ago.

We haven't found the
right place for the kids.

Well, either do as we agreed,

or I'm gonna
need to collect rent.

What?

Or you could just buy it
from me if you want to.

I can't believe you.

Don, it's temporary.

Believe me, Henry, everybody
thinks this is temporary.

Good night.

(GROANS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

He has some nerve.

I know you don't want
to hear this, but he's right.

Haven't the kids been through
enough change already?

I can't just uproot them
with no place to go.

You're not even looking.

There's nothing out there,
and he doesn't decide.

(SIGHS)

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

SECRETARY: Miss
Olson is here to see you.

Send her in.

They sent one for each of us.

Could have just
as easily fired us.

But they didn't, because
they sold more hams.

And now you get to tell
them why if you want.

I think they'll be impressed.

Well, I'm not.

I try and stay away from
these kinds of shenanigans.

But I guess you knew that
or you would have told me.

It was going
great until it wasn't.

Thanks for the ham.

I should have told you.

Since when do you have a fiance?

I don't.

But you didn't have
to do that that way.

You brought him with you because
you thought I wouldn't embarrass you.

At least I'm thinking ahead.

Doesn't always work, does it?

You need to think
a little bit more

about the image of this agency.

Well, nobody knows
about the ham stunt,

so our image remains
pretty much where you left it.

I won't need you in the
Jantzen presentation.

Now you're being spiteful.

No, I just think
it would be better

not to have a girl in the room.

You know something?

We are all here because of you.

All we want to do is please you.

Why don't I put
them in the pantry?

Christmas is around the corner.

PAULINE: Put them
in the basement.

Did the children
like their gifts?

They did.

It's nice the holiday is
memorable in some other way.

I'm sorry a little girl
spoiled your Thanksgiving.

Next time I'll tell
her not to get sick.

I've raised children
in my life, Henry.

They're terrified of her.

You don't know any of the
people you're talking about.

Well, I know what
you see in her.

And you could have
gotten it without marrying.

Why can't you give her a chance?

She loves you.

She's a silly woman.

Honestly, Henry.

I don't know how you can
stand living in that man's dirt.

DON: You go to the swimming
pool, you go to the beach,

take off your robe, you
head into the cabana.

There's no other
way to slice it,

you're getting undressed.

Can I put my feet on this?

Pretend like it's
your living room.

Thank you.

What separates a bathing
suit from underwear?

The cut and the
print of the cloth

and some sort of
gentlemen's agreement.

"So well built, we can't
show you the second floor."

I think that's a
little suggestive.

Good. That's what
I was going for.

A wink, but it's not a leer.

We don't want a wink.

I think I explained our
product is for modest people.

Modest people want
to be stimulated, too.

This draws them in in a way

that will make your competitors
seem crude and obvious.

Plus, they'll be
dying to see the suit.

They'll be dying
to see the girl.

And for all we know, she's
not even wearing a top.

You'll get them into the store.

Isn't that the point?

It's not wholesome. It's not...

Did I tell you we're
a family company?

I think I know what
you're looking for.

A couple of women
bouncing a beach ball,

little girl in front of them
building a sandcastle.

Your competitors are
gonna keep killing you

because you're too
scared of the skin

that your two-piece
was designed to show off.

Well, it's somehow
dirtier not seeing anything.

You need to decide what
kind of company you want to be.

Comfortable and dead,
or risky and possibly rich.

All I know is we
don't want that.

Well, gentlemen,
you were wondering

what a creative
agency looks like,

there you have it.

Hope you enjoyed
looking in the window.

Give me a minute.

ROGER: Where are you going?

Control yourself. Cool off.

And hopefully
Campbell can talk them

into hearing a few more
ideas in a week or so.

What? No. That's not the point.

Out. Get out.

Don. Excuse me?

Get your things and
get out of my office now.

Come on. Let's go.
(SNAPPING FINGERS)

Call Bert Cooper's man
at The Wall Street Journal.

(DON SLAMS DOOR)

There's always a name
in every partnership

that defines who they are.

In the case of Sterling
Cooper Draper Pryce,

would you say
that's Donald Draper?

Yes.

Really?

Last year, our agency
was being swallowed whole.

I realized I had two choices.

I could die of boredom
or holster up my guns.

So I walked into Lane
Pryce's office and I said,

"Fire us."

Two days later, we were
operating out of the Pierre Hotel.

Within a year,

we had taken over two
floors of the Time-Life Building.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)