Mad Dogs (2015–2016): Season 1, Episode 3 - Well - full transcript

With only a few hours until their deadline to return the boat is up, the guys struggle to stay on top of escalating complications including a local police investigation, their friend's corpse, and the return of the murderous Cat.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Maybe one of your friends
would like to go home instead?

They're coming in, I just opened the gate.

- You let the cops in!
- What the fuck!

I had no choice.
Gus was about to give us up.

Go! Stop them! Stop!

Come on!

Hey, hey, look.

Maybe we should just talk out here.

Okay. What would you like to say?

- Hey.
- Hello.

- How are you?
- Good.

What's going on, Gus?

About to ask you the same question, Lex.

Um, is there a problem?

He won't fit. He won't fit.

Okay, okay.

Hey, we're gonna cut off his feet.

- What?
- Yeah, yeah.

Go get the biggest knife you can find.

- Oh, my God.
- Do it!

We have started an official investigation

into the-the missing boat.

Yeah, we... but we told you,

uh, that we didn't know
anything about any boat.

Oh? Because your friend seemed to think

you might be able to help.

Help... help answer any questions.

Didn't know exactly what and, again,

we don't anything about a missing boat.

That's perfect. All right, you got him?

- Okay.
- Wait.

- Wouldn't it be quicker to...
- What?

- No.
- What?

- No.
- What?!

Cut off his head?

Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Great, okay.

Ready? Here we go.

- One...
- Ugh.

Ah, I can't do it!

Maybe we can talk inside.

Uh, but I know you said,

um, you wanted to speak to Milo, right?

But, uh, he's not back yet,

and the other guys went to bed,

so why don't we just, uh, talk out here?

It seems the guys have gotten up.

To make cocktails or something.


Let's have a drink.

You're not in bed.

And no cocktails.

Uh, she wanted to, uh,
ask some more questions

about the, um, uh, the missing boat.

Hey, didn't know we had company.

I will like, if you don't mind,

to interview you one by one.

Which one of you will talk first?

Your name and address, please.

What do you do for work?

Uh, I-I-I teach.

I-I used to be a teacher.

Now, I mainly... I mainly teach teachers.

I... I teach teachers...


Do you enjoy it?

It's a job.

I-I need ice.

I think your fridge is not working

or maybe just empty.

Milo is in-in Guatemala, in which town?

He didn't say.

But you asked him.

I don't remember the name,
but yeah, yeah, we asked him.

No, we did not ask because
it's none of our business.


Milo's business is in real estate, right?

Yes, buying and selling property.

- That is all he does.
- No.

Milo has his fingers in a lot of pies.

Which pies?

Hmm, investments, stock speculations.

Uh, he and I both, uh,
play the markets a little.

Stock market? No.
No, just, uh, real estate.

Which of you would you say is...

is closest to Milo?

I guess, I am. I mean,
I've known him the longest.

- Lex.
- Lex.

- Me.
- And you, what do you do?

I deal in antiques.

And up until a few years ago,
I practiced law

and I'm pretty sure this right here,

without a warrant, not exactly legal.

You know about law.

That's what I just said.

You rented a car.

- From the airport.
- Yes.

So where is it? I didn't see it outside.

Well, um, we drove into
town last night and, uh,

got a little drunk so, um,
we left it in town,

took a taxi back.

So where-where is the car?

The craziest thing.

Uh, we can't really remember where it is

because we got pretty drunk.

We had a good time.

Would you like us to find it?

No, no, that's fine.

We have an idea where,
I think I know the street.

It's got... there's a gas station that's...

It's-it's very easy, very easy.

No, it's fine. We'll get it. Thank you.

Your name and address, please.

How about this?

How about you, uh, you write down your name

and badge number and your superior's name?

Because where I'm from,
this is not how it's done.

You know what, if you're
going to question us,

I think we should have a lawyer

or somebody from the embassy present.

I thought your-your friend
used to be a lawyer.

Gus, right.

I'm not sure I want to take
legal advice from him.

Why you think you need to call a lawyer?

Have you done something wrong?


We're four friends on vacation.

And you're very close.

Yep, super tight.


Some of us are closer than others.

Close? Us?

Okay. We know you have plane reservations,

leave on Monday night,

the 6:00 PM flight via Houston.

You tell her that, too, Gus?

While we continue our investigation,

I must ask you not
to leave Belize before then.

What if we do?

You will be detained at the airport.

Why? Because of some missing
boat we know nothing about?

How can I explain?

You're not in the United States.

The person the boat
belongs to is very savage.

We are trying to solve a crime,

but we are also trying to protect

whoever stole the boat

because clearly they do not
understand what they did.

Must be worth a lot of money then.

Jesús is a man of principle.

Whether he's owed a lot or a
little, he will seek atonement.

Doesn't matter if
the person is here in Belize

or even in the United States.

He has many associates.

When Milo returns, ask him to call me.

Ay, and don't worry, Lex,

I'll find your car.

What's she talking about, find our car?

She saw the rental car keys on the table.

- She asked where it was.
- What'd you say?

- I said we lost it.
- Why'd you say that?

I didn't know what to say
so I said we didn't know

where it was.
Who are you calling? Who are you calling?

Operator, I would like to be connected

to the American embassy, please.

By the way, who opened up the damn gate?

I did.

Oh, of course you did.
Why doesn't that surprise me?

I'm sorry, what are you trying to say, Gus?

I'm saying that for as
long as we've known you,

you've always been the one
to do retarded shit like that

that we...

...have to clean up.

We heard everything you were saying to her.

What-what... you-you-you-you
think that I was...


Option one.

They're closed. Want me to leave a message.

Then leave one. Leave one.

Okay, My-my name is...


I'm an American citizen.

Uh, I-I came here with a friend-a friend...


There was this-this cat.

How the hell am I going
to explain this shit?

Wait a second, wait a second.

She's just gone to...

to look for a car rented in our names.

My name.

With millions of euros of
drug money sitting in the trunk.

Do you realize we have less

than four hours to return the boat?

Hey, I-I don't-I don't
know if you remember me...

You don't think I remember you?

Yeah, I-I rented a car from you earlier.

I misplaced the keys and I was wondering

if you had an extra set.

I'll put it on your bill.

So, um, what was all this retarded shit

you had to clean up? I'm-I'm curious.

Really? Right here.

Why not?

Totaling a friend's motorcycle

and asking us to lie and
say that it was stolen.

Asking us to cover for you

because you're too damn
hungover to make it to class.

Asking us to lend you our
CDs and clothes and-and-

and-and apartments
knowing that

it'd probably end up trashed or lost.

- Vouching for you.
- Vouching for me. Wow.

Interesting that you'd bring
that up 'cause here's

a vouch I can think of that
didn't exactly pan out for me.

Don't you think we
have more pressing things

to deal with right now?

Like getting the boat back
or dealing with this damn car

that you just alerted the police to?

Thank you.

Southside Construction ring any bells?

- What?
- You don't remember?

I was in line for a management gig.

I aced the interviews, then I asked you for

a letter of recommendation
because you knew them.

Yes, they were clients.
I gave them a letter.

Got it, guys, let's go.

Well, this doesn't look suspicious.

Exactly, so let's hurry it up.

Is it just me or does it bother anyone else

that this money is short?

Does it bother anyone else that Jesús

has associates in the U.S.?

Does it bother anybody else that the cops

may show up at any moment?

How much did you give fender bender woman?

I didn't give fender bender woman anything.

- She took it.
- How much?

Uh, uh, a stack. At least a full stack.

- I saw that.
- That's ten grand.

We are not giving this
money back ten grand short.

Follow me, please.


Hey, do you think Milo
knew what might happen

when he invited us here?

I wouldn't put it past him
to take us all down with him.

No, no.

I-I think it was a cry for help.

I think he knew he was
in trouble, he was scared.

He wanted his homies around him.

Yeah, like I'm his homie.

Where's he going?

Why are we stopping?
Where's he going?

Two minutes.

I'm not here to cause
any distress or trouble,

but I think it's important
you hear what I have to say.

What the fuck is he doing?

Oh, I think he's putting the squeeze

on fender bender woman.

I know you're not stupid.

You know what that cash is about.

I'm not here to pretend
that it's something else,

but my concern is with that cash
comes a whole lot of trouble.

This concern, it's for you or for me?

For both. Look, I'm not a criminal.

My buddies out there are not criminals.

You think I couldn't tell that?

Somehow we stumbled into
this cosmic fuck up

and for whatever crazy ass reason,

you've stumbled into it, too.

I'm sorry, but if you don't
give back that cash,

I promise you that we are both in danger.

That's all I got.

She's giving us back the money.

- What?
- What?


All right, I'm going with him.

Wait, I don't think this
is such a good idea.

You don't even know where you're going.

Okay, we'll wait here.

Coming to give me backup?

Yeah, just like you
did when I needed that job.

That was four fucking years ago.

I know exactly when it was.

I-I had a deposit on an
apartment, which I lost.

Was gonna get a company car,

had an opportunity to get my shit together

after Kayla and all the other
crap that went down,

and all I needed from... Aah! Ick.

Mind the open sewer.



You know what I think we should do?

Go sit outside the embassy

and wait for it to open.

And just leave them here?
What, what do you mean?

Well, obviously wait for them to come back.

Assuming they do come back.

- All I needed was a letter.
- I gave them one.

- Is that right?
- I wrote the letter.

- I should know, Lex.
- And what did you say?

I'm-I'm very curious.

I said the typical shit that you would say

in those kinds of letters.

- We're here.
- Come in.

Hi. Sorry.

- Hey.
- Shut up now.

Hello. Sorry.


Shaved ice, cool you down, man?

Uh, hey, we don't have any money so, uh,

why don't you just leave?

Uh, seriously, we don't have any cash.

Here you go, a present from Belize.

- Take care, man.
- Thank you.


Do you have any idea

what ten grand would mean to these people?

Do you have any idea how much
my hands and feet mean to me?

My roof you're under! In my house!


- Did you get it?
- Yeah.

- No.
- Most of it.

- She gave us $6,500.
- What do you mean?

Her grandmother spent the rest.

Oh, bullshit!

No, I don't-I don't buy it.

Did you-did you threaten her, huh?

What are you guys, men?

Yes, that's-that's what we are.

We're civilized men.

So wait, we're still short $3,500.

- Yeah.
- Can we grab it from an ATM?

Oh, yeah. How much can you
grab out of an ATM, Lex?

I don't know.

How much can you grab from an ATM, Gus?

ATMs are traceable.

You can wire money anonymously.

Okay, so who can we ask to, uh, send us

3,500 bucks in the middle of the night?

Well, I know who Gus called the last time

he needed cash in a hurry.

Oh, let's go and bring that up again.

Look, I'm making a point.

The people we all turn to
are us and we're all here.

If I ask anybody I know

to wire me money to Central America

in the middle of the night,
they're gonna think...

Nobody will, okay? So forget it.



- Say it.
- Say what?

I can get the money and you all know it.

All right.

Let's just leave the rental car someplace

and just do it.

He is very hot.

A little privacy, please.

Hi. Hello.

Yeah, I'd like to place
a collect call, please.

My friend is arranging

a wire transfer from the U.S.

She's not picking up the home phone

and I don't know her cell.

How could you not know
your wife's cell number?

'Cause it was on my phone.

Who memorizes cell phone numbers?

What do I do?

Yeah, can you just hold
on a second, please?

Just one second.

What? Well, we're just-
we're trying to figure it out.

Can you please look up
a cell phone number for me?

Is that... can you do that?

Yeah, but it's in... I can't remember

anybody's number to call
and ask for her number.

Well, I know her name,

I know the area code, I just can't...

What? Hold on.

Oh, what? Thanks.

You knew it by heart?

What? No, I got it, I got it.

Yep. No, I'll punch it in.

Helena? Hey, what?

No, nothing's wrong.

Yeah, I know.

I dropped my phone in the pool
and so I just... I know, yeah.

Look, I-I got to ask you a favor.

What... Milo? Yeah, he's fine.

He's great, mm-hmm.

Yeah, he was actually saying
I should-I should, um,

I should bring you down here, right?

And I will. Of course, I will.

I... b... I just said that
I would, didn't I?


We should bury him at sea.

- Hmm?
- Milo.

You know, when we take
the money back, we'll...

we'll take his body and on the way back

to the marina, we... you know?

We can't leave him in the freezer.

Look, I-I-I need you to wire me some money.

Just because I do.

It's a business deal that, um,
Milo's bringing me in on.

Bringing all of us in on.

Why are you bringing that up?

By definition, half of it is mine, too.

Helena, we... can you
just do this for me, please?

Because I'm fucking asking you to!

Are they ready?

Not yet.



I had her wire some extra
so we'd all have a few bucks.

Thank you.

Who in the hell buys mini Cokes?

I'm not thirsty.

Hey, I'm going as fast as I can, okay?

No, I know, I know.

I'm just... can I offer you a hand?

Yeah, 20 minutes ago.

You know, I don't buy all that stuff

that Milo told you.

And I realize I didn't
have a chance to say it

at the time, but I'm sorry-

for your marriage and the last job,

things not working out for you.


But I think he was right.

My life is a failure.

Well, you still got your kids.


I mean, I know you don't see them much,

but that's just a phase.

They'll come around, you know?

Hmm, yeah, maybe.

You know, people say there
is no greater experience

than having a kid,

but-but when you have one,

it's like-it's like consigning your-

your relationship that you had
with your partner to-

to history.

Like, when-when a-when a man has a child,

he-he creates his biggest rival, you know.

A person who his wife loves more than him.

I don't know.

Well, everything happens
for a reason, right?

I don't think it does.

I think only morons believe that.

It's ready.

Other side.


Was that really necessary?

You know Gus' wife's phone number, too?

Oh, my God!

- What, what?
- What?

Something just ran across my feet.


It was like a...
it was like a rat or something.

Jesus Christ. Come on.

Don't do that again.



Okay, wait a minute.
Easy, easy, easy, easy.

- Okay.
- Let me check right there.

- Let me get right up there.
- Okay, ready?

- Get going.
- Yeah, hold on.

- You cool?
- Yeah, okay.

- Ready?
- I got it.

Don't push back.

- Got it?
- I've got it.

- Don't push back!
- Hold on, hold on!

- No, we're not.
- We gotta get a better-

we gotta get a better grip!

- Ready?
- Okay, okay.



Where did he go?

Can you see him?

He's gone, he's gone, he's gone.

- No.
- Wait a minute.

- Come on, come on, come on.
- Put this down.

Put this down, put this down.

Careful, careful.


Hey, come on.


Well, I guess that's his burial at sea.

- Are they coming over here?
- What?

Are they coming over here?

Yep. They're coming here.

Hey, there.

Isn't this special?

Oh, yeah.

Proves you're alive, huh?

Can you believe this full moon?

You don't get this up in the States.

Don't look at it.

Don't fucking look at it.

So where you guys from?


- Great boat.
- Yeah, thanks.

- Thank you.
- You, too.

What do you say we don't
tell anybody about this?

Well, folks come down here
and spoil it, huh?


see you around.

- Let's get him out!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Let's get him out quick.
- We need a...

I'll get a thing.

Get the-the stick, the pole,

- the pole with the...
- A gaff!

- Get a gaff.
- A gaff, a gaff.

Get a coat hanger or something.

Look, even if we do find the right one,

are you gonna be able to sail
this thing back in the dark?

Yes. We're gonna do this.

Clock is ticking. Let's go.

One by one, until
we find the one that works.

- All right.
- Okay.


Yep, try it.

Lex, try it!

No good.

Try that.

- Go.
- Try it.

Hit it, Lex!

- Yeah!
- We did it!


- Yeah!
- All right!

We just fixed a boat, man.

Yes, we did.

- Yeah.
- All right.

Okay, it's-it's got to be

just moving the throttle, right?

Hey, are you sure you can navigate this?

We don't even know where we're headed?

Okay, positive thoughts, all right?

We got to picture where we came from.

We just got to head back that way, right?

How do we raise anchor?

Uh, try the button with the anchor on it.

Try the button with the anchor on it.


- There we go.
- See that?

Every loser has his day, right?

What did you say?

I was-I was saying that
every loser has his day.

Like, you know, the law of averages,

we're bound to come up aces at some point.

No, you weren't.

No, you-you-you-you weren't saying we.

There was no we. You were referring to me.

No, I wasn't.

Well, can we just start the boat, please?

I know what you put in that letter.

Still talking about the fucking letter.

- What letter?
- Four years ago, my big break.

All Mr. Big Shot here had to do was

write a simple letter
of recommendation, you know.

Say a few nice words on my behalf.

I wrote your fucking letter.

Oh, my God, I can't believe

we're having this conversation now!

I know what was in the fucking letter, Gus.

Applicant is unreliable.

He has a history of instability.

You want me to keep going
'cause I can quote

that motherfucker line for line.

That letter was confidential

for Mr. Mikey McFarlane's eyes only.

Yeah, well, guess what.

Mikey McFarlane was just in Grand Rapids

and he told me how you
fucked me, college buddy.

You have any idea what happened to me

after I missed out on that?


Yeah. I do.

And it made me feel completely vindicated

for what I wrote

because you went back
to drinking and drugging

for God knows how many years,
so I would say

that unreliable is a pretty
accurate description.

He was an important client who relied on me

- for good advice.
- Great.

Can we-can we-can we just go, please?

- No, no, no, look...
- Guys, guys, come on.


No, he thinks-he thinks that
I wanted to write that letter.

You think that I enjoyed that.

Did you think that when you were homeless

and crashing on our couches
that I stopped for a second

and thought to myself
that I might be responsible?

I did what I had to do
for me and my client.

And goddamn it, I still stand by it, Lex.

I am sorry.

I am really fucking sorry.

Can I suggest

for now

you accept his apology

and we can at least try to

make this deadline that is now just-just-

just one hour away from running out?

Cobi, check the front.

Make sure I'm not gonna hit anything.


- Are we good?
- Yeah, go for it.

We're going backwards!


It's stuck in the mud.


this is just my opinion,


I don't think we're gonna
make the deadline now.


Again, just my opinion,

but I don't think we should
hang out here very long.

He's right.

Maybe when-when we hand the money back...

we can describe where the boat is,

then Jesús will-will cut us some slack

on account of not really

being boat people.

Well, what about Milo?

I say we just, uh,

put him back in the water.

Okay. Really consider this

before you react.

We cut off Milo's hands and
we leave him on the boat.

Look, Jesús cuts of hands and feet, right?

Milo's already lost his feet

so we just leave him on the boat

and then it'll look
like a drug deal gone bad.

Then, if somebody finds him,
they won't be looking for us

and that might buy us some time.

That's... actually...

a smart idea.

All right.

This is all I could find.

I did the feet.

This is wrong.

This... I get with the feet.

She was coming up the drive.

It was an impulsive thing, but this is-

this is premeditated butchery.

This is my friend.

I can't.

- Just do it.
- I can't do it 'cause-

because his-his watch is in the way.


- Jackpot Casino.
- How much?


- Winner.
- Nice one, eh?

- How much you win?
- Two dollar.

This day your lucky day.

Put it in the collection box.

You done good, man.

Hey, maybe I should have the gun now.


Well, because you had it last time.


You're gonna go in first.

We're gonna come in tight behind you

zero-dark-30 style, all right?


So you mean, like, using me as a shield?

You wanted the gun.

As soon as you see him, you
train the gun on him, okay?

And keep it on him and then
we'll hand over the money.

You were involved
in a car accident yesterday.

Me? You have the wrong information.


We will find your car
and it will be damaged.

A little respect.

The accident was with four American men.

These men, have you seen them since?


Did they give you some 500 euro notes

- to pay for the damage?
- No.

Do you know who uses 500 euro notes?

Drug dealers, people like Jesús.

Maybe this is his money.

Do you think it is wise
to be spending his money?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You, or...

somebody from your family,

has been exchanging 500 euro notes in town.

You're not in trouble.

All I need to know is,

did you get these notes from the Americans?

No police boat.

Look, man, I'm not trying to be funny here,

but do we really believe that guy is a cop?

- Why?
- Because he's four foot tall.

Don't they have some kind
of height requirement?

He said, "We are the police."

Yeah, but just because he
said he's a cop doesn't mean...

Are we sure it was a police boat?

It had blue lights.

- Police decals?
- Yeah, yeah, I think.

'Cause it-it-it's just
she said she's a cop.

Yeah, but I never seen a cop
behave the way that she does.

Look, I think he's a cop and she's a cop.

I'm telling you, that
guy is not a cop, okay?

What kind of country has
a munchkin-size police force?

So what are you saying?
That neither of them is a cop?

No, they're both cops.

Hey, look, I think
they're working together.

I don't think they're working together.

They both want the boat, right?

Yeah, they both want the boat,

but for-but for different reasons, I think.

Whatever the reason, we can't afford

to give this money to the wrong people.

- Right.
- All right.

Well, he's not here, all right, so...

We got to be careful not to get dehydrated.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, 'cause we wouldn't want something bad

to happen to us on this trip, right?

Oh, fuck.

Touch it and I blow his face off!

Move away from the table.

- He can't breathe!
- You're choking him!

I told you to bring us the boat.

It's in the lagoon.

- We will show where it is.
- It got stuck.

Sir, we tried to bring it back!

Will you please let that man breathe!

We have your money. Okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right here.

Here. Here.

Go that way!

That way.

Hey! Hey!

- Hold up!
- Hey!

In here!

Hey, hey! Hey, hey. Hey.


We-we know you're in there.

So-so come out with your hands up.

Fuck off.

Man, give me this.

Listen to me.

I'm giving you three seconds
to come out of there

or I am going to light this
motherfucking closet up,

you hear me?

Three, two...


Do it, do it.

I can't. I can't.

Hey, buddy, look,
we don't want to hurt you.

- I do!
- I'm going to fuck you up!

- Who do you work for?
- Do you work for Jesús?

Who sent you?

Suck my cock!

This isn't really working.

Screw this.

No, get him off. Hold him!

Hold him! Get him off!

Let me shoot him! Let me kill him.

- I got him.
- Nobody's killing anybody!

Let's deep fry this little motherfucker.

Hey, let's waterboard him!

- What?
- No, no! We need him!

Okay. Let's take him downstairs.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, pick him up.

Yeah! Fucker.

Let's drop him on his head.

- No, we need him.
- Ah!

We have him and we have the money.

- Okay.
- So we got leverage.

I still think we should
we should torture him a bit.

Why do you keep saying that?

So he knows we mean business.

Grab a chair.

Simmer down! Hey!

Sit! Knock it off!

Give me his legs!

Get some rope or tape or something.

All right, all right, all right.

Aah, little fucker just bit me!

Bite him back!

I can't find anything!

- Get-get twine!
- Wait, how about this?

Yeah, yeah.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.


All right.

He's too strong, he's too strong.


Goddamn it!

He's kicking me in the balls!

He kicking me in my balls!

Yeah, bite now, bitch!

- All right!
- Wait, wait, we gotta...

we gotta lock him up someplace secure

while we go to the embassy.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

The well! We put him in the well.

- Good idea!
- Yeah.

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

I don't think that might be the best place.

- No, the well!
- Well, well, well, well, well!

All right, bring it over here.

Close your mouth.

- All right, get over here.
- Yeah! Hold on.

Yeah! Hoist him up! Yeah!

I got it. Let go.

Huh, yeah? How do you like that, huh?

DNA swabbing motherfucker, huh?

You like that? Nipple rubbing bastard!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Tighter, tighter. Come on.


- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

That's my dude! Got his ass!

Got him!