MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 6, Episode 8 - MacGyver's Women - full transcript

It's been wonderful.

No work, no others.

Only us two.

It's been great.

So, when do you get back
from your next field trip?

Perhaps I won't have to go.

MacGyver, I've been offered
a position at the university.

Not much money, but
a lot of free time for us.

You're leaving the
Phoenix foundation?

With regrets, yes.

But I want us to be
together all the time.



You don't think you'll
miss the traveling,

the, uh, excitement,

new places, all that stuff?

Oh, MacGyver, I've already
lived in too many places.

I want to be with one man.

With you.

Well, you're with me now.

Like friends, sure.
Like lovers, yes.

But like a family?

Well, the... the idea
of a family is nice.

Nice?

I'm talking about
more than nice.

I'm talking about commitment,

and you never
want to discuss it.



Commitment.

Uh...

Maria, it's...

It's just not an easy thing
for me to talk about. Okay?

Okay.

Take me home.

Uh, but I will talk about it.

I want to talk about it.

Come on.

What frightens you?

That you won't see other women?

Oh, I don't know. I
don't think that's it.

I mean, I'm not really
seeing anyone right now.

About time you got home.

Kate?

Kate!

Oh, uh, Kate's a cop.

Policeman. Woman.

I can see she's a woman.

And a cop.

Uh, lieutenant Kate Murphy.

I was working undercover.

Uh, Maria romburg.

Mmm, MacGyver and
I are just friends, Maria.

That you, MacGyver?

Jenny?

- Jenny.
- I borrowed your shower again.

Hope you don't mind, lover.

Oh, actually, Jenny's with me.

She was having
trouble at home again,

and the challenge
center was out of beds.

I was hoping that
she could stay here.

Chinese, anyone?

Talk marriage with
a guy, he gets nervous.

It's not just
marriage. It's everything.

The guys I know, never talk
about how they really feel.

That's because men
are afraid of their feelings.

True.

Are all American men
so frightened of emotion?

Or is it they are
frightened of women?

Oh, come on.

What are you talkin'
about, "all American men"?

Okay. Some American men.

Like cowboys, who
are faithful to their horse,

but not with a woman.

Like marriage would
be a prison sentence?

Marriage?

They get seriously disturbed
about using dirty words,

Like love.

You know, Jenny, I've
noticed that same thing.

All right, wait. Hold it, here.

I... I've got something
to say about all this.

Yeah?

And?

And I'm going to bed.

You know, I think
you really got to him.

Nothing cuts
so deep as the truth.

Just like a man. He
can't confront his own emotions,

so he runs away.

And leaves
us with the mess.

Jenny, what do you
say we get it cleaned up?

Here, let me help.

MacGyver, I got
to hand it to you.

This contraption here's gonna keep
me in business till my arm heals up.

Glad I could help you out, bear.

Well, anything I can do for you,

you name it.

Well, as a matter of fact,

I'd appreciate the rentin'
of your spare wagon

for a couple of days.

Doggone it, MacGyver.
The bozers got my last one.

Paid in advance, too.

Yeah, well, those boys
are becomin' right civilized.

It's fascinatin' what a
gold strike will do to a man.

They got money, but they
don't smell no sweeter.

Can you believe they went and
contracted two mail order brides?

That's why they hired my wagon.

I got to feel sorry
for them women

comin' all the way out here
to hitch up with the bozers.

Still, I guess they
can always say no.

Mail order brides are
usually pretty desperate.

Where are you headed, MacGyver?

Last chance gulch.

Supplies.

You can take my personal rig.

I'd be much obliged, bear.

That's gotta be them now!

Hey, boys.

Welcome to Serenity.

I'm Kate Murphy.

Oh, the one who
arranged for us to come.

- Mmm-hmm.
- I'm Maria romburg.

And you are my man?

Wilt bozer?

Heck, no!

Darling, I'm your man.

Wilt, wilt, I seen her first.

Now, ain't that the
sweet truth, darlin'?

- No, she's mine, I saw her first.
- Please...

Now, hold your water, boys.

Hi, miss Murphy.

I'm Jenny.

Well, Jenny.

Jenny-girl, you're in luck.

I'm milt bozer.

I'm your man.

Now, milt, milt...

The girls just got here.

I've got to get 'em settled in.

Here's your money.
Consider it settled.

Now,

come and give your new
husband a kiss, Maria!

- No!
- Now if you're gonna treat them like dance-hall floozies,

The deal is off!

You delivered 'em,
and you got paid.

So just butt out!

Now, boys!

Don't you think the girls
ought to have a say in this?

No.

- Yes!
- Please.

We made you a deal.

Why, you...

It's a dead deal, milt!

You're dead, MacGyver.

Get... get away.

Want me to squash him, MacGyver?

No, thanks, bear.

It's over.

Thank you.

You're promised to me, woman.

And we got us a contract!

If the girls are willin'.

If they're willing?

You better get them cleaned
up and over to the saloon

within a half hour,

or there's gonna be big trouble!

Yeah.

Wilt!

I guess we'd better talk.

I'll be right with
you, miss Kate.

But first, I wanna thank
you, too, Mr. MacGyver.

No thanks necessary, ma'am.

Help you with your bag?

Well, i... i would've come
to your defense, milt,

But I had my hands full
with... with MacGyver.

Would you shut up

With your whinin' and
your excuse-makin'?

Well, I tell you,
the next I see him,

It's gonna be payback time!

You've got no gun.

Kate Murphy has got our women.

She's got the gold
we paid for 'em.

Now would you put that feeble
mind of yours to that problem?

Before you go off
and get yourself killed?

Okay.

You two wouldn't wanna
try another town, would you?

Yes.

- I would like to get
away - from here.

Well, you're all set.

Plans have
changed, MacGyver.

I'm taking them to catch a
train out of last chance gulch.

As soon as I can hire a wagon.

Well, as it happens,
I'm headed that way.

If you don't mind crowding.

I wouldn't mind a bit.

Well, now, I don't know.

Well, there are no more
wagons to hire in town.

Then we'll have to go
with you. Thank you.

Well, I reckon it's settled.

We will take you
up on your offer.

Yes, ma'am.

Billy. Cole.

News.

News.

- Jesse.
- You find out anything?

Sort of.

Sundance,

Kid, tansey.

Kate find out when that
payroll shipment's due yet?

I wouldn't count on it, kid.

Well, why not?

She crossed you, kid.

Went into business for herself.

Contracting for
mail order brides.

I don't believe that.

Maybe she don't
love you no more.

She left Serenity this mornin'

With two women and a
fellow named MacGyver.

I guess she hooked up with him.

They're headed to
last chance gulch.

I... i figure they'll camp
at stony creek tonight.

Who is this MacGyver?

He's got a spread
outside Serenity.

Word is, he don't wear a gun.

Is he gutless, or simple-minded?

I heard of him.

Kind of invents things to
get himself out of trouble.

Well, I don't think he can
invent a way to stop a bullet.

He sure did invent a
way to steal your woman.

Up to a little
target-shootin', Sundance?

Well, nothing much else to do.

♪♪

Well, aren't you up bright
and early this morning.

Howdy.

Give you a hand?

Well, actually, I think I have
made the necessary repairs.

Well, hello, ladies.

Please, forgive my
blocking the trail.

But, since you are stopped,

perhaps you would be interested

in some of my wares.

No, thanks.

Let's go, MacGyver.

MacGyver!

I have heard of you.

"The man who carries no gun."

Yep.

And what is so terrible

Of a man wishing

You make a fine philosophical
point there, ma'am.

But I can sense that
you have reasons.

Please, forgive me,

but the palm of your
hand will tell the story.

Oh. No, no, no, don't worry.

This reading will be
gratis, on the house.

You have journeyed
a great distance.

Now how on earth
did you figure that?

I am not a charlatan.

You are fleeing a dark

and terrible
occurrence in your past.

No, no. You seek

and need a new life.

- Stop it.
- No, no.

There is danger in your path,

But also a strong champion.

This is enough nonsense.

Please, I apologize.

I can only say what I sense.

Which,
indeed, may be nonsense.

MacGyver, for you, a gift.

A small token.

For health and vigor.

Dr. Destiny's iron tonic.

You carry secrets,

each of you.

Wounds on your souls.

The wounds will only heal

if you trust in each other.

Adieu.

Snake oil peddler.

Maybe.

Maybe he's right.

Just like I figured.

MacGyver and the women must
have camped out here last night.

Wet down, and dried out.

They must of rode out early.

Well, they can't make
much time haulin' a wagon.

We'll catch up to 'em.

This your campsite?

Who's asking?

Mr. Colt.

No!

We're just lookin'
for some friends.

I'm milt bozer and this,
this here's my brother wilt.

Yeah, we're lookin'
for some people, too.

Three women,

man named MacGyver.

That's who we're after!

Those are the
l-lover-boys I told you about.

The ones who struck gold.

We'll be hittin' the trail now.

After that MacGyver fellow?

- Yeah.
- Good.

We'll just ride
along with you boys.

We don't need no help.

- Oh, yes, you do.

Do you like this
perfume, MacGyver?

Yeah, it's nice, Jen. Real nice.

He's real polite, he's friendly,

but he just isn't interested.

Truth is, Jenny, it's got
nothin' to do with you.

Hello, MacGyver.

Uh, beg your pardon, ma'am.

Oh, no, it's all right.

I'm sorry if I embarrass
you, MacGyver.

But surely you've
seen a woman before.

Yes, ma'am, I have.

It's just that...

Well, beautiful women are
not common in these parts.

Thank you.

Beautiful or not, it's
better to be clean, I think.

Can't argue that.

You can use my soap.

Or perhaps you are shy?

Well, as a matter
of fact, ma'am, I am.

Not to mention there's
company in close proximity.

Oh, I forgot.

Always others.

What?

Well, ma'am,

back at that medicine peddler,

well, when he talked about
something terrible in your life,

well, you got tight
as a bowstring.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

The past is the past. I
do not like to remember.

Try to run away again
and I'll shoot your legs off.

Stay put.

Now, you just
step on down, Kate.

Let me take a look at you.

Welcome to the party.

Yes, sir, indeed.

So you're MacGyver, huh?

He was just helpin'
us get to last chance.

Well, that's his mistake.

Yours was thinkin'
you could run off on me.

You don't own me.

Yeah, I think I do, Kate.

Now where's the gold
that belongs to these two?

I shipped it to California.

I believe I better check
on the truth of that.

Let them go.

They've got nothin'
to do with this.

They're with you.

There's no gold.

There's nothin'.

I just wanted out.

Out?

You owe me, Kate!

Who kept you fed and
clean? Put shoes on your feet?

You could be talkin'
about your horse.

No.

No, a horse would
learn from a whippin'.

Then let me go.

Kate,

When kid curry puts his
brand on something, it's his.

For life.

It's the other woman!

She ran out on us!

Guess why?

For murder.

$500 reward.

Nice company you keep, Kate.

Gold?

No sign of it.

Are you gonna tell
us about it, Kate?

Or do I just let
you choke a while?

Hey.

You want gold, ask
your friends there.

They got a whole mineful.

Now wait a minute.

I, uh, I...

That's right.

We're gonna have us a nice
friendly talk about your gold mine.

Yeah.

I believe we can find
a use for the women.

But we got no use for MacGyver.

If he's lucky, he'll
be dead of a broken neck

by the time we're
back at hole in the wall.

Wouldn't rightly say that.

If he's not lucky, he
could choke to death.

Real slow.

See, MacGyver?

Quick is lucky.

The way that
signpost is shakin',

Why, you might just get lucky.

Why don't you boys just
ride on up ahead of us?

Nice to be home, isn't it, Kate?

You're gonna do
what you want with me.

I know that.

But Jenny, she's just a girl.

She came out here looking
for a man, didn't she?

Well, I'll just let the
boys decide who gets her.

I said, inside.

Whoa, there!

MacGyver!

Oh, thank god!

I was so worried. I've been
looking everywhere for you.

What's wrong?

Oh, you saw the poster.

Who'd you murder?

Would you believe
me if I told you nobody?

When I came to New York, I stayed
with my sister and her husband.

One day my sister is out.

He comes home.

He comes at me.

He attacks me.

And you fought back?

Yes.

But I didn't kill him.

He...

He was hitting me.

And my sister came home.

Your sister killed him?

For me.

But she has children, and
what would happen to them?

So you took the blame?

Yes.

So, I had to run
to some place far.

You believe me,
don't you, MacGyver?

I believe you.

Now we better get moving.

They've taken the
others to hole in the wall.

♪♪

Well, this is another
fine mess you got us into.

What'd I do, milt?

Who found the gold?

Oh. Yeah.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

Say, why don't you come
here and give me a kiss?

Keep your hands off me!

Wait a minute,
I'm Billy the kid!

Then it's time you grew up.

Maybe you ought
to rope her first, Billy.

Yeah, there's an idea.

You boys don't mind if Billy
has some fun, now, do you?

No. No.

We'll let you have her
back, when we're finished.

Uh, well, we... we changed
our minds about gettin' married.

We got no claim.

So, we'll just be runnin' along.

Get out of your way, so to say.

- Good idea.
- Hmm.

First I'd appreciate knowin'
the location of that strike.

The gold strike?

You made any others?

No.

It's just...

Well, what if I told you,
there wasn't any gold mine.

Well, now, first I'd
shoot off your kneecap,

and, uh, plug you in the belly.

After that, I'd put one
between your eyes.

Then I'd kill you.

Due west,

out of town.

Cut left at devil's bluff.

Straight down, 20, 25 yards.

Sure hope you boys
are tellin' the truth.

Giddyup!

Well, I guess we can
just walk right in now.

They'll see us.

Except everyone who would've
recognized us just rode off.

Oh.

What are we going to do?

Oh.

There's bound to be an
idea here somewhere.

Ow!

Get your hands off her, Billy.

Yeah, it's my turn.

Here, you work on Kate a while.

Well, howdy, boys!

Mind if I cut in?

Who are you, pilgrim?

Locomotive Luke.

Call me, loco. This here's Lucy.

We've been looking for her.

The young one.

Well, what do you mean?

Oh, I wouldn't be gettin' too
close to this one here if I were you.

She put half my
gang in their graves.

Heck, I wouldn't even
breathe the air next to her.

She's... sick.

She has a social disease.

Six dead, so far.

Poor Ringo.

He just up and

rotted away.

Oh, my god!

She sneezed on me!

- Well, I'm real sorry
- for you then, ma'am.

- No!

That'll just spread it.

Well, what can we do?

Lye soap.

Scrub yourselves down.

Take a bath?

Yuck!

It's cruel. It's unhuman.

But it's the only way.

Whose wagon's out there?

Oh, they came in it.

I got to take responsibility.

I'll just take 'em off
your hands right here.

- Loco, we ought to thank you.
- You're welcome.

Well, hello, there, m-MacGyver.

MacGyver!

What are you doin' here?

Well, howdy, boys.

Just thought I'd drop in.

You stick here, Cole.

We got to get goin'

before that kid curry
fellow gets back.

Yeah.

He strikes me as a
kind of unfriendly fellow.

No, y-you don't get it.

W-W-We gave him
directions to our gold mine.

And it ain't there.

On account of
there ain't no mine.

Think you boys are right.

He's bound to be a
tad upset with you.

So, where'd you
get all the gold?

We come upon a prospector
who come upon a grizzly.

So we figured he had no use
for that dust he was carryin'.

So we took it.

And told the town
you struck it rich?

Yeah, well, they kind of
looked up to us for a change.

Showed us some respect.

Well, not kid curry.

That fellow just doesn't seem
to have a sense of humor.

Think you might
untie us, MacGyver?

MacGyver?

You know, MacGyver,

me and wilt, we...

We've been thinkin' it over.

We've done
some nasty things,

And we ought to
atone for our sins.

Atone?

Yeah, it kind of means
pay for what you owe.

Huh.

Not a bad idea, boys.

And right now is the time
for you to start atonin'.

What, uh...

What do you mean?

Got the idea?

Yeah.

Yeah, but... but
what if he hears us?

Wilt, that is the idea.

Not that way!

Put him in the shed.

Jenny, would you get your
tail over here with that whiskey?

Jesse, take someone
else. This one's spoke for.

MacGyver busted out.

He's gonna get the law.

What happened to Cole?

He took off after MacGyver.

Go get him.

What'd you go and trip me for?

- I'm trying to help you boys.
- Well, then stay out from underfoot.

Is that fair?

I come in trying to
do right by you folks,

this fellow's treatin'
me like a dog.

That's what I call
right poor manners.

You want manners?

I'll be real polite, just before
I kick your fool head in.

Soon as you hear
a lot of gunfire,

make a run for the wagon.

Which way did he go?

I think he must
have gone this way.

Keep movin'.

What are you varmints
playin', hide and seek?

No, MacGyver busted out.

Bozer here told us.

Bozer, huh?

Bring him inside.

What about MacGyver?

We'll deal with
him after we Bury the bozers.

Hi.

- Did you find that gold mine?
- Yeah.

You did?

Yeah, and we'd like
to thank you for it.

I don't like
being made to look a fool.

Not gonna shoot us, are you?

Oh, it's not gonna be that easy.

I'm gonna shave you real close.

Where's it coming from?

Get in the wagon! Get movin'!

Hold it!

Bozers and the girls are gone!

Look out! C-Come on!

The door's stuck.

Hurry, MacGyver!

Giddyup!

Hold it. Just get out of
the way, get out of the way.

Now let's go.

There he is!

Get off me. Get off me!

Oh, my head!

Damn!

This belongs to you, boys.

Well,

Me and wilt, we talked it over.

We wanna loan it to you.

Why?

Uh, grubstake, kind of.

Yeah, we... we figured we
give you girls a lot of grief.

What can we say?

You don't have to say nothin'.

Well, I guess we
better get goin'.

Come here, you.

I owe you, MacGyver.

Don't you forget
me now, you hear?

So, we say goodbye.

I guess.

Goodbye.

Wait!

You're not leavin'.

What do you mean?

Oh.

All aboard!

Hi.

W-What... what?

I have great news.

Pete called.

I have an assignment in rio.

It is carnival.

What? Now?

Now.

What about your
position at the university?

That was just an idea. A dream.

You are right. I would
miss the excitement.

- Oh, but wait a minute, what if...
- I must not miss my plane.

No, no, what about last night?

Well,

we were... we were
talkin' about, um,

commitment.

What?

Commitment. We
were talkin' about it.

What about it?

Well, I'd like to talk
some more about it.

We will, we will, as
soon as I get back.

Bye.