MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 6, Episode 18 - Faith, Hope & Charity - full transcript

Oh, poor pickings.

That early frost

just killed what was
left of the blueberries.

I told you, we
should've been out here

pickin' every day.

Oh, there's some left here.

A little weathered, but
they'll do for preserves.

Dad gum! Poachers!

Oh!

If I have to live
another 50 years,

I'll see those heartless
wolf-killers out of these woods.



Spring it!

I'd like to snap it
around their necks

so they'd know
what it feels like.

What's the matter with people?

Don't they know the pain and
suffering they cause those poor animals?

- Did you hear that?
- What?

Did you hear that scream?

You know I don't hear well.

Oh, come on, come on, let's see.

Lord in heaven!

You poor man. You
stepped into a bear trap.

D-Don't you worry.
My sister's a nurse.

I'm hope. She's faith.

We're the Lacey sisters. We run a
bed-and-breakfast just over yonder...



Oh, hope, shush up
and give me a hand.

I don't think we're
strong enough.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Ladies, both of you
push on this side.

I'll push on this...

Oh, crud!

Oh, I don't like the
looks of this at all.

We'll just have to take
him home with the trap on.

How?

Silly, in the wagon.

Here, now,

Our house is near here.

We have tools there.

Now, don't you worry.

We'll have your foot
out of that trap in a jiffy.

Won't we, faith?

Well, you're gonna
have to help us, mister...

MacGyver.

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't worry. All
right now, push.

Push.

I am pushing.

Push.

What does it look
like I'm doing?

Oh, Leo, you're just in time!

Come and help us.

This man is badly hurt. Hurry!

He's one of our regulars.
Such a nice man.

Never calls, just drops by.

Mr. MacGyver, this is Leo burns,

a frequent guest
at the Lacey house.

What happened?

- I stepped in a...
- He stepped on one of those vicious traps.

We'll do the talking,
Mr. MacGyver.

I-If you don't mind, Leo...

Oh, sure.

Hope, will you go and
get the fireplace tools?

What were you doin'
out in the woods?

Uh, working.

E-Endangered species
program, gray wolf.

Well, bless your heart!

A fellow animal lover.

You know, these traps
are only part of the problem.

Disease, hunting,
loss of habitat.

It's no wonder the
gray wolf is endangered.

For heavens sake, Leo, push!

There!

Doesn't that feel better?

Now, let's get him in the
house so I can dress that wound.

Needless to say, you're welcome
to stay just as long as you like.

We'll put him in
the yellow Daisy room.

Well, look who's awake!

And here we are,
made fresh this morning.

Mmm.

What time is it?

Now, never you mind.

It's more important that you
get something in your tummy.

You've got to eat.

Now, Mr. MacGyver,
no ifs, ands, or buts.

You wanna
get better, don't you?

Shame on you.
You didn't eat a thing.

Uh, did you call a doctor?

I talked to him by phone.

He had an emergency
appendectomy.

Marge hofstedder
up on gilpin road.

Dr. Feiffer said if you can move
your foot, it's probably not broken.

The important thing is
that you stay off your feet.

If you want an X-ray, there's a
hospital about 70 miles away.

Uh, no. No.

Maybe if I could get somebody
to drive me back to my motel.

What did he say?

Motel?

Hope and I wouldn't
think of it, would we, hope?

No. If Mr. MacGyver is
going to stay anywhere,

He's going to stay
right here at no charge.

Absolutely!

Consider it done.

Really, I appreciate all this...

Now, Mr. MacGyver, we'll pick up
your things on the way to the market.

That way, Dr. Feiffer
can stop by in the morning.

Now give me your
motel key, Mr. MacGyver.

Quickly.

We have pies in the oven.

Blueberry. Our specialty.

Oh, I almost forgot!

Look here.

We found this in the attic.

It belonged to
great-grandpa Lacey.

I think.

Well, who else
would it belong to?

He was a doctor, and an
abolitionist during the civil war.

I was going to say that.

He was one of the first
to help runaway slaves.

Hope, stop deviling
Mr. MacGyver.

We'll have a whole week
to get to know each other.

A week?

That's what Dr. Feiffer said.

If you stay off that foot.

Hey!

Didn't I tell you no
eating in the car? Didn't I?

There he is! Let's get him.

Hold it. Look.

Mr. Burns, what are
you doing out here?

We have a nice fire
going in the sitting room.

Oh, well. Thanks for
remembering our rules.

Faith and I have to run
some errands in town.

Would you mind looking in on
Mr. MacGyver while we're gone?

Sure. Be happy to.

You find out anything
more about him?

I mean, who he works for?

All we know is, he
cares about the wolves.

Just like you, Mr. Burns.

I don't understand you, Leo.

You keep saying how
you like the air up here.

Why do you spoil it
with those cancer sticks?

Just a nasty habit, I guess.

Hope, are you coming?

Uh, hope,

uh, this is for you and faith.

- A letter.
- Yes, but I...

I don't want you
to open it unless...

Uh, unless somethin'
happens to me.

Promise me, okay?

Well... well, yes.
Yes, Mr. Burns.

If you insist.

Hope!

Okay, now. Let's do it.

Hi, Leo. Having a nice vacation?

Yeah. Yeah, gorman. Real nice.

Abe, Bobby, w-what
are you guys doin' here?

Orders.

We came to get the money.

Oh, i... i... I'm not doing
any pickups or deliveries.

I... I'm on a little vacation.

Let's cut through
the chit-chat, Leo.

School's out.

Since I took over the books,

the boss knows you've
been skimming money.

For years.

Over a million bucks worth.

You're a rich man, Leo.

No, it wasn't me. I swear!

Right. And ducks can ice-skate.

Abe.

Now one more time, Leo.

Where'd you hide the cash?

I'm a dead man anyway.

Let me handle him.

Come on, Leo.

Please, you know I
got a heart problem.

You got more than
a heart problem.

You feel like talkin'?

My chest...

Having fun, Leo?

Let him loose.

You lunatic! You killed him!

How was I supposed to know
his ticker was gonna stop?

What's the sweat? The
bum had a heart attack.

When they find him,
nobody's gonna be the wiser.

The money, Abe.

If I don't get that money
back, I'll be a dead man.

Car key. Okay.

Bobby, go check out his room.

Abe and I'll go through his car.

Faith?

Hello? Hope?

Hello?

God.

Perfect.

Oh, no!

The
man's a walking accident!

What are you doing downstairs?

Did you see Leo?

Y-Yes. He... he
just checked out.

Checked out?

He had some, uh,

Some personal
business to attend to.

But I saw him laying
under the hammock.

Face down.

You poor man.

Faith, look, the crutch broke.

Well, he shouldn't
have been out of bed.

Oh, you hurt your
ankle again, didn't you?

Yes.

No wonder, the poor
man is hallucinating.

- Oh, let's get you into the parlor.
- What you need...

What you need is a
good hot cup of tea.

Oh!

Now, you sit there and rest.

Mr. MacGyver,
you're awake!

What
are you doing here?

What am I doing here?

What's Leo doing here?

I didn't... I didn't lie to you.

Leo did check out.

Permanently.

It was his last wish

that he would never
leave this place.

We thought the barn was perfect.

I-It's all in his will.

He gave it to me before he died.

Trust us, MacGyver,

Leo loved Lacey house.

We were his only family.

Wait a minute!

You can't just Bury somebody.

There are laws!

You gotta have
a death certificate,

a burial permit,
all kinds of stuff.

Oh, poop! Lighten up, MacGyver.

What difference does it make?

I promised Leo. It
was his last wish.

It's been an hour since those
old broads brought Leo to the barn.

I don't get it.

Hey! The paint job.

You'd think they'd
call a doctor,

or a coroner, a cop.

Somebody.

Those two old biddies
are up to somethin'.

Come on, get in.

Leo was dead when we
found him under the hammock.

It was his heart.

From all the
smoking, most likely.

Blue lips, blue fingernails.

Lord knows, I know the symptoms.

Yeah, what about that cut?

Could be he was
hit with something.

And those marks.

Well, that's from
lying in the hammock.

Lying in a hammock does
not press into your skin like that.

Well, who would want to
hurt a nice man like Mr. Burns?

What about the will?

Maybe that'll tell us something.

That's it?

Where's the rest of it?

That's all he gave us.

Uh, enough about Leo.

Uh, I think it's high time you get
yourself into bed, Mr. MacGyver.

After we call the police.

Very well.

I'll call.

On second thought,

maybe a nice pine
box would be better.

Where you goin', grandma?
The party's just starting.

I hope you don't mind
if we pay our respects.

How dare you!

And you let go of my sister!

Whoa! Just... Let's
settle down here.

What's the problem?

No problem.

Give us the money
and we'll be gone.

What money?

Leo's money.

Of all the nerve.

The poor man isn't even cold,

And you come storming in
here looking for his wallet.

If it's all that important,
it's on his dresser.

I'm talkin' a million, lady.

Cash.

A million dollars?

Where would Leo get
that kind of money?

Leo?

Sounds like you and
Leo were real chummy.

Oh, yes. He's been
coming here for years.

Then, how come you're
buryin' him under your barn?

Sounds pretty suspicious to me.

Come on, come on, what
are you people up to, huh?

Uh, we people don't know
what you're talking about.

I'll jog her memory.

Just wait! Hold it.

Wait a second.

Mr. Gimp has something
to get off his chest.

Maybe he wants to
stand in for grandma.

Don't you dare.

Mr. MacGyver is an
innocent bystander.

Oh? Meaning you
two ain't so innocent?

Work her over.

Ah! Just... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I think I know
where the money is.

This morning I saw Leo

going out to the tool
shed with a suitcase.

That's better.

Abe, Bobby, tie them up.

And you two better pray that the
gimp knows where the money is.

Come on, ladies.
Over here. Move it.

Hold still, you old bag.

You big goon!

Wait till I get my hands on you.

Shame on you.

What would your mother say?

- What mother?

He's the kind of thing
you find under a rock.

Hope, faith, settle down.

Good thinking, because
if those two don't shut up,

I'm gonna put 'em
in the hole with Leo.

Come on, guys. Let's go.

Sure wish I knew
what was going on here.

We're being terrorized by a
bunch of hoods, that's what.

You sure there's not
something you want to tell me?

About Leo?

His will?

Why it's torn in half?

All right.

Mr. MacGyver,
what are you doing?

I'm gonna try and get
us out of here, ladies.

Oh! Isn't he ingenious?

You said your great-grandfather
helped runaway slaves?

Is that right?

Oh, yes. Long
before the civil war.

Why?

Well,

a trapdoor leading to a
hidden room under a barn?

It's kind of a strange place for
a storeroom, wouldn't you say?

What does that have
to do with slaves?

Faith, don't you
remember your lessons?

Abolitionists, like
great-grandpa Jonathan,

Hid them in cellars just
like this as they moved north.

And most cellars
had a secret tunnel

so they'd have an escape route,

in case the authorities came.

Faith, he's right.

Great-grandpa Jonathan
used to talk about a tunnel,

from the house to the barn.

Where he was going to put
us if we didn't eat our oatmeal.

Hope, that was a fairy tale.

Well, maybe not.

Oh, faith!

Untie your sister. I'm
gonna look around.

How? You can't even walk.

What can we do to help?

Uh...

Grab that saw

And cut through the two
support beams on the stairs.

But not all the way through.

Oh, I get it.

Come on, hope, come on.

Oh, now I get it.

We're setting up a trap.

Well, of course
we're setting a trap.

Oh, dad gum it!

Now what?

I broke a nail.

For goodness sakes,
hope, who cares?

I do.

I'll glue it back later.
Just keep sawing.

What did you say?

I said, keep sawing.

Okay.

And you don't
have to shout at me.

Yes, you are definitely getting
a hearing aid for Christmas.

What did you say?

Never mind.

You're pulling too hard.

That's because you're yanking.

- I am not!
- Are, too.

That creep! He was
pulling our chain!

There's something in here.

They double-crossed us!

For the last time.

Wait till that nosy
Clara Brinkley hears about this.

She'll be so jealous.

I found it.

Oh.

- This cupboard.
- What about it?

Well, it's not a cupboard. Look, it's
about an inch or two off the ground.

Oh!

It's attached to the wall.

Give it a pull, see
if you can pull it out.

Put some muscle into it.

Oh!

All right!

Oh!

You are ingenious.

Grab one of those lanterns.

They're coming.

Faith, come on.

Oh, my leg!

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Where'd they go?

Over here.

Footprints.

What'll we do when
we get out of here?

We'll call the police
and then get to your car.

Okay, slow down.

Stop. Stop, stop, the leg!

What now?

They didn't just disappear.

There's gotta be a tunnel.

Pull!

Come on, pull!

Go!

What if there's something
heavy on top of it?

Bite your tongue.

Oh!

Jesus!

Oh, my
goodness, the kitchen!

We... all these years, and
we never knew it was here!

Stop! Or you're all...

Jeez!

I'll kill 'em! I'll kill 'em!

Back the other way.

It's dead.

They must have cut the wires.

Where are the keys to your car?

In my coat.

Back in the barn, over Leo.

I'll kill 'em.

I'll kill 'em.

Hurry up.

Hurry up!

Honestly, faith, I don't know
how many times I've told her,

get one of those little
magnetic key boxes,

but no!

It's all right, ladies,
we won't need a key.

Forget the car. Too late.

We'll have to stand them off.

You mean we're trapped?

Well, in the military

They call it taking
a defensive position.

Oh, I like that much better.

Bobby, no!

Not until we find out where
they've hidden the money.

You are something
else, Mr. MacGyver.

Oh, I wish I were

Oh, faith!

What?

My back.

Forget it. I got a better idea.

Come on. God!

- You okay, boss?
- Yeah.

They can't be
everywhere at once.

Okay, yeah, all right!

Looks like they're giving up.

Yeah, well, I doubt that.

What next?

It's a big house. We have
to be ready for anything.

All right. I'm gonna
need your help here.

Yeah, piece of cake.

Got it.

Listen to me. I
know you're in there.

You got somethin'
that belongs to us.

We're not leavin'
until we get it.

If you cooperate, I promise you,

nobody gets hurt.

Forget it, sucker.

You mugs will have
to come in and get us!

Isn't this exciting?

Oh, yeah.

Keep workin'.

All right.

My eyes! My eyes!

Well?

Well, one of them
has got a headache.

The sewing room!

I forgot to lock the window.

You didn't!

All right, ladies, tuck
in there. Go ahead.

Okay, grab an end.

Now,
on my signal, pull.

Now!

Hold it, wait a minute!

He's out.

Too bad.

I don't believe this!
What happened?

I... i don't know. Somebody
hit me in the face with a mop.

I couldn't get in.

Couldn't get in?

It's just two old
ladies and a gimp.

- Bobby got in, right?
- How do I know?

I can't see a thing!

That's it! That's
it! Get in the car.

Gorman, what are you gonna do?

I said get in the car!
I'll get in that house!

Did you hear that?

Oh, my goodness, he's
pointing his car at us.

What are we going to
do? We've run out of tricks.

Maybe not. Do you
have a vacuum cleaner?

Yes.

Can you bring it to me, please?

I sure will.

Thank you.

Brace yourself.

Plug that in.

They're coming right at us!

You're dead!

We did it, we did it!

Go on, punk.

Make my decade.

We hope you're not mad at us.

No,

but I would like to know why
you didn't tell me about the money.

Well, we thought you were
such a goody two-shoes

that maybe you'd make
us give Leo's money back.

But it wasn't Leo's
money. He was skimming.

From the mob. Exactly.

So, they're not
about to claim it.

We know the rules, Mr. MacGyver.

If nobody makes a claim,

The police have to give the
money back to the finders.

Besides, it wasn't for us.

With you as our consultant,

We're gonna use Leo's
money to save the gray wolf.

We do so hope your Phoenix
foundation can help us.

Well, I can't promise anything,

But I'll do my best to enlighten the
people who use these darn things.

I have a terrific idea.

Why don't you just
slam a door on their leg?

That ought to
get their attention.