MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 5, Episode 6 - Halloween Knights - full transcript

[Mumbling]

[Metallic clanking]

[Seagulls cawing]

(MacGyver) Ahoy there!

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Happy Halloween.

Do you know anything
about electric winches?

Enough to know that
beatin' it won't do much good.

Yeah, well, I
tried threatenin' it.

Wait, wait, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, wait a minute here!



I'll make a deal with you.

You keep down the racket so I can
get some sleep and I'll take a look at it.

You mean it? Hey, great!

Oh, the name's milt bozer.

MacGyver.

I could sure use a neighbor
who knows how to fix things.

Too bad you're movin'.

Who says I'm movin'?

Well, the guy with
the movin' Van.

Oh, no.

No, no, it can't be, not again.

No!

[Sighing]

Why?



Why?

You didn't know about this?

No!

At least he was neat.

[Laughs]

Oh, but neat don't count, huh?

This mover, he didn't happen
to have a big bushy moustache,

dressed up like a pilot, maybe?

Yeah, that's him.

Jack Dalton!

[Sighs]

Jack!

[Echoing] Jack, whatever
your crazy scheme is this time,

I don't even want
to hear about it!

I'm gettin' my stuff and
I'm gone, you hear me?

Man.

Jack?

Are you in here?

[Tires screeching]

Hey!

No!

[Tires screeching]

[Sighing]

[Busy signal beeping]

[Dial tone humming]

[Telephone ringing]

(Woman on answering machine) Thank
you for calling haven's rest cemetery.

Our office is closed.

Please leave a
message at the tone.

Jack?

[Knocking]

[Groans]

(Murdoc) Happy
Halloween, MacGyver.

[Murdoc laughing]

(MacGyver) No. No, it can't be.

It can't be.

[Door creaking]

(MacGyver) Murdoc!

Trick or treat.

I don't believe it.

Where's Dalton?

He's off chasing the
proverbial wild goose.

But I knew your concern for him
would be enough to lure you here.

What do you want, murdoc?

[Man turning on his heel]

[Sighs]

What do you think of my
little hideaway, MacGyver?

A rich industrialist built
this about 100 years ago.

You know, in those
days they had the most

Terrible fear of
being buried alive.

I guess this chap just wanted to
make himself as comfortable as possible

in case he inconveniently
came back to life.

Murdoc, if this is another one
of your games, let's get on with it.

It's not a game, MacGyver.

It's a matter of life and death.

What are you talkin' about?

Of all my past
adversaries, MacGyver,

you've always been
the most creative.

That's why you're here.

You're the only one
that I can turn to.

I need your help.

You're not serious.

Oh, I'm deadly serious.

[Door clanging]

[Door creaking]

You know, I'm not real big on
doin' favors for professional killers.

See, I could've killed you
there, MacGyver, but I didn't.

You know why?
Because I've retired.

My last few run-ins with you
have convinced me that it was time.

Look, see, I have a new face.

I have a new face
to match my new life.

Unfortunately, h.I.T. Doesn't look
too kindly upon their ex-employees

Quitting without their approval.

- H.i.t.?
- H.i.t.

H-i-t.

Homicide international trust.

- [Doorknob rattling]
- My ex-employers.

They hire a bunch of professional
killers from around the world.

It's sort of like a multinational
murder incorporated.

I refused their last contract.

So they put a hit out on me.

That sounds like
poetic justice to me.

They've kidnapped someone
very close to me, MacGyver.

Someone is close to you?

My sister.

Ashton.

Uh-uh.

Murdoc, I've seen your file.

It says "no living relatives."

I've gone to great pains to
conceal the truth about my sister,

even from her.

After our parents died, I
supported her in secret.

[Sighing]

She didn't even
know that I existed.

And she certainly didn't
know what I did for a living.

She was my innocence.

I thought I could
protect her forever.

Till I read this.

Found out how wrong I
was. Here, take a look.

Look at her.

Look what they've
done to my sister.

Listen to this.

(Nicholas) Hello, murdoc.
It's your mentor, Nicholas.

I must admit, you're
not easy to find.

Fortunately, the same
is not true of your sister.

Remember the Halloween
parties at my club?

Well, this year's is special.

It's in honor of
your retirement.

So be here by midnight,

or I'll kill your
sister instead.

He means it, MacGyver.

So who's Nicholas?

Nicholas helman.

He's chairman of
the board of h.I.T.

He has the ever-so-exclusive
helman club downtown.

He uses the club as a front
for h.I.T.'S base of operations.

This man would do
anything to see me dead.

Even if it means destroying
the only decent thing in my life,

just to get at me.

I cannot rescue Ashton
alone, MacGyver.

You're the only one in
the world who can help.

No way, murdoc.

I could never trust you to
do anything straight. Forget it.

- They're gonna kill my sister.
- I can't trust you!

Well, trust me now, MacGyver.

Help me or feel free to go.

But if you do go, MacGyver,
you're gonna have to live with

The death of an innocent
girl on your conscience.

You provide the evidence we need
to put those people away for good?

Anything.

And turn yourself in as well?

[Sighs]

You drive a hard bargain.

Yeah, well, take it or leave it.

Agreed.

And we get her out my way.

No guns, no killing.

Nicholas helman is a
ruthless killer, MacGyver.

He taught me everything I know. We
cannot go up against him without weapons.

Oh, we've got weapons.

My way.

[Crickets chirping]

(Sonia) This way, Mr. Greggs.

[Elevator bell dings]

Good luck.

[Elevator bell dings]

(Nicholas on P.A. system)
Welcome to death row, Mr. Greggs.

Are you ready for
your qualification test?

Whatever you've got, Mr. Helman,

[cocking]

I can handle.

Excellent.

I like your confidence,
Mr. Greggs.

I want you to look
straight ahead.

Your objective is
to reach the girl.

Understood.

If you succeed,

you'll become one
of our operatives.

Good luck.

[Gun firing]

Hey, that's real ammunition.

This is real life, Mr. Greggs.

[Grunts]

[Explosion]

[Machine gun firing]

[Crying]

(Ashton) What are you doing?

What's going on?

Please help me.

(Ashton) Please.

Please help me.

[Groans]

[Screaming]

You see.

And greggs is one of the best
freelance operatives in the field.

But murdoc is better.

No matter.

Death row is no longer
a testing facility, Sonia.

It's become a killing ground,

Designed especially for murdoc.

[People chattering]

(MacGyver) All right,
watch it on the steps, guys.

Take one at a time.

(MacGyver) All right, try
to keep it level. That's it.

♪♪[Music playing]

Appreciate this, guys.

(Ozzie) Whoa.
Whoa. What is this?

Uh, to-die-for catering.
We got a delivery for you.

What's in it?

It's our Halloween special.

Help yourself.

Thanks.

Hold it.

[Walkie-talkie beeps]

Yes, Mr. Helman?

(Nicholas) Come downstairs
to the billiards room.

All right, I'm on my way.

All right, put this
in the main room.

Thanks for your help, guys.

Uh, listen, you mind
if I use your phone?

I got to check in with my boss.

Uh, it's right over there.

Thanks.

[People chattering]

[Knocks]

(Nicholas) Hold on
just a minute, ozzie.

Ok, now, just let
me pocket this shot.

[Billiard balls clacking]

Mr. Greggs is down in death row.

He failed to reach the girl.

It's quite a mess, I'm afraid.

(Ozzie) I'll take care
of it, Mr. Helman.

Remember, I want to start the board
meeting as soon as the directors arrive.

Do you remember what
costumes they'll be wearing?

Yes, sir.

The royal flush.

I'll keep an eye out for 'em.

(Sonia) And for murdoc.

It's getting late, Nicholas.

I think we should
put our costumes on.

(Nicholas) Yes,
of course, my dear.

♪♪[Music playing]

[People chattering]

[Glasses clinking]

Hello, hello.

Lovely party, just... just got
back from the dead, actually.

Excuse me, i'm... I'm starving,
i'm, uh, I'm just starving to death.

[Doorknob rattling]

MacGyver, are you in here?

I told you to stay put.

I was tired of playing dead.
Is there any sign of Ashton?

They've got her behind here.

Nicholas calls it death row.

Yes, I've heard of that.

He uses it to test h.I.T.
Recruits. How do we get in there?

Well, I don't know yet.

The lock only opens
with Nicholas' thumb print.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe this will open it.

Murdoc, we had a deal.

But you... you said no guns.

- Don't split hairs with me.
- You got a better idea?

I'll think of something.

Ok, I'm waiting.

That thing would bring the
whole place down on us anyway.

I'm still waiting, MacGyver.

Ok.

[Sighing]

Ok.

New plan. It's a party, right?

Yes, it's a party.

People drink at parties.

So?

So,

we, uh,

we get Nicholas' glass,

we transfer the print

and we're in.

How do we get
Nicholas' thumb print

Off the glass onto the sensor?

How do we do that, MacGyver?

Huh?

One thing at a time.

You know, MacGyver, that's
why you're so hard to beat.

Nobody knows what
you're gonna do next.

Including you.

[Ashton crying]

Please, can you help me?

Sorry, lady. I just work here.

I haven't done anything!

- [door closing]
- Why are they

[sobbing]

♪♪[Music playing]

[People chattering]

There he is, in the
vampire costume.

All right, here's what we do.

We just wait for him to put
the glass down, and then grab it.

Or not.

You got any other
ideas, MacGyver?

[Sighing]

(MacGyver) Who's the girl?

(Murdoc) Sonia. She's
Nicholas' right-hand person.

Almost as good as me.

And deadly as she is beautiful.

Well, something's goin'
on in that room there.

When did you say Nicholas
and the board members meet?

Once a year.

What better place to
keep it a secret, huh?

Of course!

A costume party
is a perfect cover.

Nicholas is the only one who knows
the identity of the other members.

With all these costumes
around, they could be anybody.

I overheard Nicholas
talking about a royal flush.

How many board
members are there?

Let's see. Not
counting Nicholas, 4.

[People chattering]

(Murdoc) There goes another one.

That's 3 down, 1 to go.

Ok, new plan.

I crash the board meeting.

What, as part of
the royal flush?

Ok, good, good, good, but
which one are you gonna be?

Well, the king, queen, the
knight have already gone in.

- Knight's the same as a Jack, isn't it?
- Uh-huh.

That leaves the ace.

Or the joker.

Of course.

The joker's wild.

Leave him to me.

Murdoc, no.

It's perfectly harmless,
MacGyver, it's perfectly harmless.

Trust me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sir,

- [spraying]
- Let me get that.

[Groans]

[Whispering] Get the
door, murdoc. The door.

Well, this little charade may get
you into the meeting, MacGyver,

But how do you get out of it?

You're right.

I'm gonna need a diversion.

What time you got?

It's 11:27.

All right.

At exactly 11:40, throw all
the circuit breakers in this box.

Blackout should give me
a chance to grab the glass,

and make a run for it. Then
meet me in the billiard room.

11:40.

Charming.

Where have you been?
The others are waiting.

Now that we're all here,

I call this meeting to order.

Before we get on
with any new business,

what's the update on
the murdoc situation?

I'm glad you brought that up.

Actually, this evening's festivities
are doubling for his retirement party.

Then you've terminated him?

(Nicholas) Not yet, but
the bait is in the trap.

(Queen) He was supposed
to be eliminated, Nicholas.

That was your job.

(Nicholas) He will be.

I have his sister.

I guarantee that murdoc will be
permanently retired by midnight.

(Queen) He'd
better be, Nicholas.

You know our
policy about failure.

(King) Yes, Nicholas,
you too are replaceable.

(Murdoc) Sorry you have
to miss the party, old boy,

but I'm afraid
you're all tied up.

Lift your hands
where I can see them.

Now turn around,

slowly.

(King) This is useless!

It's obvious murdoc
isn't going to show.

He's probably already here.

Well, that remains to be seen.

In the meantime, I suggest
we move on with the agenda.

I believe the joker was going to
report on our arms smuggling operation.

It's a good idea.

The floor is yours, joker.

Get on with it.

[Clearing throat]

[Coughing]

May I?

[Telephone rings]

I said we weren't
to be disturbed.

I have murdoc.

Excellent.

Sonia has murdoc.

Take him to death
row. I'll be right down.

That's not all, Nicholas.

He's taken out one
of the board members.

I think it's the joker.

Thank you, my dear.

I'll handle it.

Well, it appears that my trap
worked even better than I expected.

Murdoc is as good as dead.

And so is his partner.

The joke's on you, my friend.

[Screams]

Lights out, my darling.

(King) What's going on?

(Nicholas) Stay calm.
Emergency power will be on soon.

I can't see.

Stay calm.

There!

[All clamoring]

(Man) Look out!

[People chattering]

It's almost midnight, MacGyver.

Meeting ran a little late.

[People chattering]

[Glass clinking]

Here. Melt some wax in that.

Melt wax?

I'm gonna try
and fool that lock.

[Groans]

Miss chapel!

Are you all right?

[Groaning]

What happened?

Murdoc. He's here.

Murdoc got away.

So did his partner. Perhaps it's time
we selected a new chairman here.

Now calm down all of you.

Everything is going
according to my plan.

Here's your front row seat.

[Switch clicking]

[Electronic beeping]

There she is!

Who are you?

Friends.

(Ashton) What
are you doing here?

We've come to
get you out of here.

[Crying] Be careful.

A man's been
killed here already.

Don't worry.

(Nicholas on P.A.
system) On the contrary,

I'm afraid you all have a
great deal to worry about.

I knew you'd come, murdoc.

But your friend is
something of a surprise.

No matter.

It'll give our board of
directors a more exciting show.

Welcome to death row, gentlemen.

I'm here now,
Nicholas, let the girl go.

The girl's life is in
your hands, murdoc.

At midnight, that chair will
shoot 3,000 volts of electricity

through her body.

Simply get her out of the chair
before the clock strikes 12:00.

You now have 8
minutes until the girl dies.

Good luck, gentlemen.

You will pay for this, Nicholas.

I seriously doubt it.

It's a shooting gallery,
MacGyver, and we have no guns!

[Sighs]

Hand me that apple,

and the cabbage.

Apple and a cabbage?

[Beeping]

[Crying]

[Beeping]

[Beeping]

The guns in here are
workin' on motion detectors.

All right.

When I throw this,
dive over that wall.

[Explosion]

[Machine gun firing]

[Explosions]

[Crying] Careful!

That's where the man was
killed by a machine gun!

[Birds chirping over speakers]

[Beeping]

Here.

Use this to keep the guns busy.

[Sobbing]

[Sighs]

[Gasping]

Let's go.

[Grunts]

(Nicholas on P.A. system) One
more special Halloween treat,

just for you, murdoc.

[Snakes hissing]

[Scoffs]

(Murdoc) Oh, god, no!

[Stuttering] Snakes!

Not snakes.

I... i hate snakes, MacGyver.

Well, I'm not too crazy
about them myself.

[Crying]

Oh, man.

[Grunts]

Yeah, that's it,

MacGyver, we're
gonna burn 'em up.

[Whispering] Well,
what are you doing?

Snakes aren't too crazy
about the smell of kerosene.

Hopefully this will
make them back off.

[Kerosene gurgling]

So you-you've tried
this before, of course.

Well, this situation
doesn't come up a lot.

Well, uh, in that case,
MacGyver, why don't you, uh,

why don't you go first, huh?

Yeah.

[Crying]

[Snakes rattling]

All right,

come on, murdoc.

I can't! I can't, i-I'm not gonna
do it, MacGyver. I can't do it.

Murdoc, come on!

I can't do it, ok!

Oh!

[Beeping]

[Crying]

All right, come on.

Get down, get on my shoulders.

I don't believe this.

[Both sighing]

And don't make any sudden moves.

Yeah, well...

Well, tell that to the
snakes, MacGyver.

[Quavering]

[Hissing]

[Ashton crying]

Hurry! Hurry, please!

[Beeping]

[Grunts]

Looks like Nicholas'
game is over.

(Ashton) Get me out of here.

Please!

Murdoc!

[Gun fires]

Get her out of here,
MacGyver, get her out of here!

(Murdoc) Save Ashton,
MacGyver. We made a deal.

Go!

Come on, murdoc!

This is the end, my friend.

The end for you both.

Sonia!

Goodbye, Nicholas.

I'm the chairman
of the board now.

[Screams]

Your friend!

It's all been like a bad dream.

I still don't
understand a lot of it.

Well, we're pretty sure it was
a case of mistaken identity.

Well, how did you
know they had me?

I think the less you
know, the better.

Top secret government stuff?

Somethin' like that.

I am so sorry about your friend.

He must have been
a very special person.

You could say that.

Well, thank you again so much.

(Murdoc) Greetings
from the grave, MacGyver.

As promised,

I'm giving you enough evidence
to shut down h.I.T. For good.

Oh, and about turning
myself in and going to prison,

You know what, I may be
reformed, but i'm... I'm not crazy.

But don't worry, MacGyver,
you'll see me again.

Just keep looking
over your shoulder.

[Murdoc laughing]