MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 4, Episode 1 - The Secret of Parker House - full transcript
Penny Parker asks MacGyver to accompany her in inspecting an old house that she inherited from her aunt, an apparently haunted house.
( Theme song playing )
MacGyver: You never know
where life's going to take you.
This is especially true
when you've got a friend
Like penny Parker.
So I wasn't too surprised
when she called one day
and told me she had
inherited a mansion.
And would I mind comig
to look the place ove?
But she only stayed
there one night,
And after that she had
the place locked up.
Wouldn't tell anybody
what happened to her.
That was almost
20 years ago. So,
uncle Fred told...
MacGyver: There was a long story
behind the way penny
came into her inheritance
And she was in no
hurry to shorten it.
In high school
geometry, I learned
the shortest distance between
two points is a straight line,
but when telling a story,
penny always takes
the scenic route.
Hold it.
I think I hear a
point coming up.
Anyway, he told me
how aunt Betty's estate
goes to the nearest
female relative
on her 25th birthday,
and today is my 25th birthday,
and I'm the closest
female relative
and before I know
it, I'm an heiress.
Isn't that wild?
And it was pembroke who told
me that the house is haunted.
Uh! Now, we agreed...
Okay, okay,
I won't say any more.
Just talking about ghosts
gives me the shivers anyway.
Penny, I'm sorry.
The supernatural
is just an easy way
To explain what
we can't understand.
Well, at least it
won't be so scary
With you there to look after me.
Kids: Trick or
treat! Trick or treat!
( Knocking )
See anything?
It's too dark.
( Penny shrieks )
Oh, sorry. Thought you
folks were trick-or-treaters.
Hi. We're here about the
Parker house. I'm penny.
The lawyer told
me you'd drop by.
This is my friend MacGyver.
Sylvia lange.
I've got the keys to the
house right back here.
The gas and water
have been turned on
and the water's working,
But the pipes are
liable to be a little rusty.
Folks sure take Halloween
seriously around here.
The kids like it.
Oh, by the way, the
phone company says
they won't be able
to send out a man
until next week, but I
have a friend over there,
and they may do better.
Pardon the rush,
but I've got to finish
The sheriff's re-election ad
in time for the next edition.
Or he'll be steaming.
Did you know my aunt Betty?
Oh, everybody in
town knew crazy Betty.
Crazy?
You mean, like,
fun-loving and carefree?
I mean crazy. Loopy as a loon.
Oh, Betty
was a nice sort of crazy,
but she was crazy...
Especially near the end.
When did she die?
Well, nobody knows for sure.
You see, Betty disappeared
a couple of years
after her daddy was gunned
down by some gangster friends
Who tried to muscle
in on his business.
Aunt Betty's father
was a gangster?
Bootlegger. Made the best
white lightning in the state.
When they repealed prohibition,
he moved into the
gambling racket
and got blasted full
of holes for his trouble.
Oh, how awful.
Pushed Betty
right over the edge.
She stayed shut
up in that old house
all alone.
One day she just...
Left town for good.
That was in '58.
30 years to the day, in fact.
On Halloween night.
They never found her, huh?
Not a trace.
Even called in the FBI.
After seven years,
they declared her dead.
Have you ever heard any...
Weird stories about the house?
You mean about it being haunted?
I told you.
Every child in these parts
Tells stories about the old
Parker place being haunted.
Of course, they
outgrow it eventually.
( Printing press clanking )
Sounds good.
Thanks for your help.
Can we stop and pick up
some things at the grocery store?
Sure.
( Kids singing )
Betty?
( Terrified screams )
Penny: What a creepy place.
MacGyver: Oh, it's
just an old house.
( Crow cawing )
( Gasps )
What's the matter?
Uh...
Just my imagination. I...
I have a right to be jumpy.
I'm an heiress.
( Keys jingling )
( Fumbling with lock )
I guess I am nervous.
Here, let me try.
( Door creaking )
You first.
( Hinges squeaking )
( Floorboards squeaking )
Hey, penny.
Come on in. Take a look.
See? Told you.
Nothing to be afraid of.
That's easy for you to say.
I'm the one who found
out that I'm related
to a gangster and a madwoman.
Well, you know, that
doesn't surprise me.
What?
What I mean is...
Every family's got a
black sheep in the pack.
There any black
sheep in your family?
You're looking at him.
Why don't you
take a look around?
I'm going to unload the Jeep.
Promise you won't be too long?
I'll be right outside.
( Creaking )
( Squeaking )
( Thunderclap )
( Thunder cracks )
( Downpour begins )
Aw, man.
( Door slams )
( Door creaking )
Penny!
( Kicking door )
Penny, I'm locked out!
Oh!
Wait till you see what I found!
I bet this was
aunt Betty's room.
Look at the
wallpaper and linens.
Everything's so beautiful.
And feminine.
It's like nothing's been
touched in here for years.
MacGyver, we could
be the first people
To set foot in here
since she disappeared.
I don't think so.
There's not enough dust.
Looks like somebody's
been keeping it up.
But who?
This is spooky.
( Thunderclap )
Look at all these dresses.
Oh, these are beautiful.
Boy, aunt Betty
had expensive taste.
Looks like she could have
used a good diet, though.
Huh.
( Soft music plays )
Where have I heard that before?
( Thunder roars,
music box crashes )
Oh, no.
Oh, wow!
MacGyver, look at this.
( Thunder cracks )
MacGyver?
( Squeaking and clattering )
This isn't funny.
MacGyver?
Surprise!
For the birthday girl.
You shouldn't have.
Oh, yes, I should have.
And you even made it yourself.
How can you tell?
Well, it's a little crooked.
Yeah, I guess it got a little
squished underneath my pack.
I wanted to surprise you.
Mmm!
Chocolate mint and banana icing.
You even remembered my favorite.
Yeah. Who could forget
a combination like that?
Happy birthday, penny.
You know you
didn't have to do this.
I mean, just being here
so I don't have to be in this
creepy old house by myself
is the best birthday
present I could ever ask for.
Just make a wish, please.
Yeeeeee... yay!
Thank you.
Oh, the diary!
What diary?
This diary. I found it hidden
In my aunt Betty's music box.
By the way, are you any
good at fixing music boxes?
"A penny for your thoughts"?
My name is on it.
This is getting really weird.
It is only a book, penny.
No, it's not just the book.
It's this whole house.
Haven't you noticed
how it closes in on you?
Like you're being
watched all the time.
It's thinking like that
that's going to drive
you absolutely nuts.
Now, repeat after me:
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Come on. There's...
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
( Thunder crashing )
What was that?
MacGyver!
MacGyver: Wow!
Go on back inside.
I'll find the fuse box
And try and get
the lights back on.
No sense both of
us getting soaked.
No way! I'm not going
back in that house!
I'd rather drown.
( Screams )
man: Growing up, I
used to hear stories
about an old Indian
burial ground around here.
First time, anybody's ever
found part of it, though.
Well, I don't think the
Indians had dentists.
At least, none that
used gold crowns.
Well, I'll be...
I never noticed that before.
You an archaeologist,
Mr. MacGyver?
No, not professionally.
Too bad.
Have to wait for the
state boys to send us one.
It took forever to
clean the kitchen.
Penny, this is sheriff howells.
Uh, cliff howells, at
your service, ma'am.
It's a pleasure to meet the
new lady of Parker house.
Well, I feel more
like the grave keeper.
Would you like a
cup of coffee, sheriff?
Uh, thank you kindly.
The doctor says it
doesn't agree with me.
It's too hard on my stomach.
That's what he's always saying.
Besides, I got
to back to town
and make some calls
about your friend here.
You're not going
to let that old skull
just lie there, are you?
A few more days won't hurt any.
Maybe that thing
is my aunt Betty.
I wouldn't get too
excited, ma'am.
We've been looking
for Betty for 30 years.
Never found nothing
but dead ends.
Now, you'd be
just about as lucky
To find Amelia earhart
or Jimmy hoffa maybe.
We'll let the experts tell us.
Meantime, I'd appreciate it
if you folks make sure nobody
tampers with the remains.
Don't worry
I wouldn't touch it
with a ten-foot pole.
You know, for someone
who's been working
on a case for 30 years,
you'd think he'd
get a little excited.
Did you read this?
Penny: Wow, I
wish my handwriting
was that neat.
Yeah, look what
happens later on.
Penny: Then she was mad.
Well, I don't know what
the psychiatrists would say
but something sure
happened to her.
You know, I wish there
was some way of finding out
Whether or not that
is aunt Betty we found.
- Maybe there is.
- How?
I'll need to pick
some stuff up in town.
You want to come along?
No, that's okay. You go ahead.
I never really got a chance
to explore this place anyway.
Besides, it's not nearly
As spooky in the daytime.
You sure?
I'm sure.
I think.
( Gasps )
Boy, this is the
weirdest family reunion
I've ever been to.
Sylvia: 1958...
That's when cloverton
was really something.
Big tourist industry...
Until the new highway.
My father ran the paper then.
You know, if that skull
did turn out to be Betty Parker,
it'd be the biggest
news to hit these parts
since... well, since
she disappeared.
Sheriff Hollis didn't
seem too optimistic.
Well, you got to understand
Clifford inherited that
job from his father,
less than a month
before Betty disappeared.
It's one case he's
never been able to solve.
And don't think he doesn't get
his share of ribbing about it...
Especially around election time.
You find what
you're looking for?
Well, there's lots of stories
about Betty Parker's
disappearance,
but I can't find
a single picture.
Oh, that can't be.
Take a look.
Now, who'd want to go
and do a thing like that?
A better question
might be, "why?"
Penny: "The house is alive.
"I can feel I.
"It watches me...
Follows my every move.
"I'm doomed to wander here,
"alone for all eternity,
alone with the monster."
The monster?
( Music box playing )
MacGyver... you genius.
( Clock chimes discordantly,
distant clattering )
( Distant clinking )
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Oh, he'd better be right.
( Loud clanging )
Stop it!
( Clanging stops )
Please be over. Please be over.
( Thunderous
rumbling and clanging )
( Screaming )
( Panting )
( Gasps )
( Screaming )
( Man screaming )
Don't do that!
( Panting )
MacGyver, you nearly
scared me to death.
Well, we nearly went together.
What on earth are
you doing in there?
I found some more bones in here.
It's definitely a woman.
Oh, well, that's wonderful news.
I mean, between you
and those horrible noises...
What noises?
In the house.
Don't tell me that
you didn't hear them.
Oh, it's probably the plumbing.
The plumbing does
not bang on walls
and drag things around and moan.
And the music box...
Please tell me
that you fixed it.
MacGyver... Oh, that does it.
I just want to pack
up my things right now
and I want to go home.
Penny, whatever's
going on around here
has got nothing
to do with ghosts
Or goblins or the supernatural.
There's a purely logical
explanation for everything.
Really?
Well, that would sound
a lot more reassuring
If you weren't
holding a human skull.
Is this okay?
Yeah, that's perfect.
Very perfect.
You didn't happen
to find a picture
of your aunt Betty, did you?
No. Nothing.
You know, even her
portrait was cut out.
Like someone wanted to
get rid of all trace of her.
Well, then I guess i'm
gonna have to work blind.
How can you find out
what a person looks
like just from a skull?
Well, these erasers
Will help judge the
thickness of the skin.
Then I build up from there.
It's kind of like
three-dimensional
Connect-the-dots.
Penny: Well,
sounds like it's
gonna be a long night.
I'm gonna go make some coffee.
"They're all trying to kill m.
"I can't trust anybody.
"He wants me to see Dr. Simms.
"He says it's for my own
good, but I know it's a lie.
"Dr. Simms is a butcher.
"He can't make me go to him.
I won't let him. I won't..."
Boy, it gets hard to read.
You know, from the looks of it,
she could hardly hold the pen.
You're beat.
Why don't you get some sleep?
I'll let you know
when this is done.
Oh, maybe you're right.
I just hope all this doesn't
give me nightmares.
Good night.
♪ ♪
( Slow footsteps )
Man: Betty...
What was that for?
You know... the flowers.
I mean, you did put them
in my room, didn't you?
Penny, I think you're right.
There is something weird
going on around here.
What do you mean?
MacGyver! It's me.
Not quite.
Penny... say hello
to your aunt Betty.
Now you might think it's funny,
but I don't appreciate
Halloween pranks.
Trust me, sheriff.
This is not a prank.
The last thing I need
is a couple of amateurs
getting in the
way of police work.
MacGyver's not an amateur.
Well, actually, I am.
Howells: Do you
two know the penalty
for tampering with
state evidence?
Oh, ulcers be hanged.
It's too early in the day
to deal with this
nonsense without a coffee.
- Do you want another one?
- Sure.
Want some sugar?
Penny: Yes, please.
You know, we're really sorry.
We didn't mean to
cause any trouble.
Yeah, I'm sure
you didn't, ma'am.
MacGyver: Sheriff, maybe
what we did was wrong,
but this skull should be enough
to get the state
forensic lab interested.
Interested enough
to laugh in my face.
I don't think they'd laugh
if they saw the diary.
Diary?
Oh, we found Betty
Parker's journal.
As far as we can tell,
it ended about the
time she disappeared.
Penny: She was always writing
About how everybody
was trying to kill her.
Really paranoid.
You know, this is bitter.
Poor Betty.
Her mind just went.
Just kept getting
worse and worse.
She wouldn't let
anybody help her.
Not even me.
Well, did she ever
see a psychiatrist?
Howells: No, she
didn't trust shrinks.
MacGyver: Well, there
was a doctor Simms
mentioned in her diary.
I don't recall the name.
I'd like to see this diary.
Where is it, penny?
Penny?
Penny?
Hmm?
The diary... where is it?
The diary?
The diary.
Uh... I think it's upstairs.
I'll go get it.
Strange girl.
Very strange.
What have we got here?
Is this
what she's looking for?
Oh, yeah. That's it.
She's a Parker, all right.
Strung tighter than a
fiddle string, all of 'em.
Aw...
Maybe it is this house.
Or, uh...
Maybe it's in the Parker blood.
( Music box playing )
Home...
I've come home.
( Music box playing faintly )
( Music box continues )
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Man: Betty...
No, get away from me.
( Penny screaming )
Penny?
Penny?
Penny?
"E.p. And c.H."
( Creaking )
( Creaking )
♪ ♪
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such
thing as ghosts...
♪ ♪
( Faint moaning )
Penny?
No, please don't hurt me!
Please, don't hurt me!
What?
Penny, what's the matter...
Stay away from me!
It's me.
It's MacGyver.
It's all right.
Oh, MacGyver.
( Sobbing ): Oh, oh, it is you.
I saw it.
Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
The monster.
What monster? What
are you talking about?
No!
Penny: No...
MacGyver...
Don't!
- Man: Here.
- No!
MacGyver, don't hurt him!
What?
( Sobbing )
It's okay.
I'll look after him now.
Give me the ice bag.
Thanks.
Virgil didn't mean
to hit you so hard.
Virgil?
He doesn't know
his own strength.
You know, he carried
me all the way down here
after I fainted.
He's very protective.
Yeah... this, I know this.
Oh, I feel like there's a Cannon
going off in my head, too.
You know, I don't know
What's wrong with me.
I was so out of it before.
Virgil thought I
might hurt myself.
Thought I might fall out
a window or something.
Yeah, well, he was right.
The sugar you
put in your coffee?
It was laced with some kind
of organic compound, probably
A hallucinogen like
mescaline, maybe.
Well, who would want to drug me?
MacGyver: That's
what I'd like to know.
So this is where Betty's father
made his bootlegging
fortune, huh?
It's all right, Virgil.
He won't hurt it.
MacGyver: So you
worked on this, huh?
It's my job.
I make the juice.
Betty liked the juice.
When he saw me in town,
he thought aunt Betty
had come home
after all these years.
You saw all those pictures.
I think Virgil had
a crush on Betty.
So he came down here to
get the still running again.
That explains all your
mysterious noises.
If she was drinking this stuff,
no wonder she went mad.
Well, it sure didn't help.
I don't think it
was the alcohol.
It was lead poisoning.
See all the patches on
these condensing tubes?
They're made out of lead.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that every drop
of the moonshine
was contaminated.
There was so much lead
phosphide on her skeleton
that it sparked when I
scraped it with my knife.
So she was poisoning herself
without even knowing it?
And lead poisoning
affects the brain,
which explains her
paranoid behavior.
Then that's how she died.
MacGyver: No, I don't think so.
From the fractures I
saw on her skeleton,
I'd say she died in a fall.
But I think
Virgil knows more
about that than anyone.
It's all right, Virgil.
You can tell me.
What happened to Betty?
Howells: He killed her.
After 30 years, it's almost
a relief to have it over.
Betty called me.
She said Virgil
was out of control.
When I got here,
the two of them were
fighting in her room.
I saw Virgil throw
Betty out the window.
No!
Oh, Virgil.
Nobody blames you.
You've been protecting
him all these years?
Well, when my father died,
I promised I'd
look after Virgil.
I couldn't let him
be locked away
Like an animal.
Don't you see?
He's my brother.
I had no choice.
Well, I'm sure that's what
howells wanted you to think.
What's that supposed to mean?
This was in Betty's room.
Penny: I found that
in the window box.
There's an inscription
on the inside band.
"forever -
e.p. And c.H."
Elizabeth Parker
and... Cliff howells?
Probably fell off when you
pushed her out the
window 30 years ago, huh?
Sylvia, have you ever
heard of a Dr. Simms?
Simms? Oh, yes.
That scandal was on
the front page for months.
What scandal?
He was caught
performing abortions.
Penny: All those big
dresses in Betty's closet.
Aunt Betty was pregnant!
MacGyver: You'd just
been elected sheriff.
An insane woman, carrying
your illegitimate child?
You couldn't afford
that kind of scandal.
Howells: Nonsense.
Virgil killed her.
No!
I tried to save her.
He was hurting her.
I tried to stop him.
She fell.
I tried.
( Sobbing ): I really tried.
He said it was my fault.
Oh, so help me, cliff,
if any of this is true...
I'm sorry, Sylvia.
I truly am.
Virgil was my only way out.
Oh come on, howells.
Put the gun away
before someone gets hurt.
It's over.
You're right, Mr. MacGyver.
It is over.
For all of you.
This'll heat things up.
Give my love to Betty...
Next time you see her.
( Grunting )
( Fire roaring )
Virgil, is there another
way out of here?
No.
No?
MacGyver, it's
getting hot in here!
Yeah, it's gonna get
a lot hotter when the
pressure blows this boiler
and ignites all this moonshine.
Everything in this room's
gonna be fried to a... crisp.
Unless we can use that
pressure to our advantage.
You can see where the lime's
seeped into the rock here.
That means the upper part
of this wall is aboveground.
MacGyver, we're all gonna die
and you're giving
us geology lessons!
Virgil, I need your help.
We're gonna need to cap this.
Can you find something for me?
( Engine grinding )
Aw, come on.
Is it too much to ask
what you're doing?
With any luck, making a torpedo.
But we need something
to aim it with.
Here, you and Sylvia tie
these two pipes together
So they form a cross.
Virgil: Is this right?
That's perfect, Virgil.
Make sure it's tight.
Ow!
What are you doing?
Building up more pressure.
But that'll kill us!
MacGyver knows what
he's doing, don't you?
The brass patch has
a lower melting point
than the steel boiler plate.
If I build up enough
heat and pressure,
the brass will rupture first.
Send enough steam into that pipe
To blow it through that rock.
I hope.
( Engine grinding )
( Creaking )
Ah... I don't believe this.
All right, that'll do it.
Virgil, grab that
pipe, follow me.
Set it right in there.
Up a little,
Right over the patch.
That'll do it.
Everybody, hide
behind those barrels!
Virgil!
Howells: No!
( Screaming )
Oh... I can't believe it.
Oh, MacGyver, you did it.
I'd say we did it.
Look!
Oh, god, how horrible!
Sylvia: Why didn't
he get out of the car?
I guess he didn't have time.
Or maybe someone stopped him
from getting out of the car.
I don't think the police
will press charges.
Sylvia had no way of knowing
that howells was using her.
And Virgil... Well,
his only crime
Was being in love
with Betty Parker.
You know, I can't help
feeling sorry for him.
Yeah. I know what you mean.
I guess aunt Betty
can finally rest in peace.
Yeah.
And so can we.
And maybe you
can give up this notion
of believing in ghosts.
Well, I'm not so sure.
Penny...
It's like I told you.
There is a sane,
rational explanation for
everything that happened here.
( Music box playing )
Is that so?
MacGyver: You never know
where life's going to take you.
This is especially true
when you've got a friend
Like penny Parker.
So I wasn't too surprised
when she called one day
and told me she had
inherited a mansion.
And would I mind comig
to look the place ove?
But she only stayed
there one night,
And after that she had
the place locked up.
Wouldn't tell anybody
what happened to her.
That was almost
20 years ago. So,
uncle Fred told...
MacGyver: There was a long story
behind the way penny
came into her inheritance
And she was in no
hurry to shorten it.
In high school
geometry, I learned
the shortest distance between
two points is a straight line,
but when telling a story,
penny always takes
the scenic route.
Hold it.
I think I hear a
point coming up.
Anyway, he told me
how aunt Betty's estate
goes to the nearest
female relative
on her 25th birthday,
and today is my 25th birthday,
and I'm the closest
female relative
and before I know
it, I'm an heiress.
Isn't that wild?
And it was pembroke who told
me that the house is haunted.
Uh! Now, we agreed...
Okay, okay,
I won't say any more.
Just talking about ghosts
gives me the shivers anyway.
Penny, I'm sorry.
The supernatural
is just an easy way
To explain what
we can't understand.
Well, at least it
won't be so scary
With you there to look after me.
Kids: Trick or
treat! Trick or treat!
( Knocking )
See anything?
It's too dark.
( Penny shrieks )
Oh, sorry. Thought you
folks were trick-or-treaters.
Hi. We're here about the
Parker house. I'm penny.
The lawyer told
me you'd drop by.
This is my friend MacGyver.
Sylvia lange.
I've got the keys to the
house right back here.
The gas and water
have been turned on
and the water's working,
But the pipes are
liable to be a little rusty.
Folks sure take Halloween
seriously around here.
The kids like it.
Oh, by the way, the
phone company says
they won't be able
to send out a man
until next week, but I
have a friend over there,
and they may do better.
Pardon the rush,
but I've got to finish
The sheriff's re-election ad
in time for the next edition.
Or he'll be steaming.
Did you know my aunt Betty?
Oh, everybody in
town knew crazy Betty.
Crazy?
You mean, like,
fun-loving and carefree?
I mean crazy. Loopy as a loon.
Oh, Betty
was a nice sort of crazy,
but she was crazy...
Especially near the end.
When did she die?
Well, nobody knows for sure.
You see, Betty disappeared
a couple of years
after her daddy was gunned
down by some gangster friends
Who tried to muscle
in on his business.
Aunt Betty's father
was a gangster?
Bootlegger. Made the best
white lightning in the state.
When they repealed prohibition,
he moved into the
gambling racket
and got blasted full
of holes for his trouble.
Oh, how awful.
Pushed Betty
right over the edge.
She stayed shut
up in that old house
all alone.
One day she just...
Left town for good.
That was in '58.
30 years to the day, in fact.
On Halloween night.
They never found her, huh?
Not a trace.
Even called in the FBI.
After seven years,
they declared her dead.
Have you ever heard any...
Weird stories about the house?
You mean about it being haunted?
I told you.
Every child in these parts
Tells stories about the old
Parker place being haunted.
Of course, they
outgrow it eventually.
( Printing press clanking )
Sounds good.
Thanks for your help.
Can we stop and pick up
some things at the grocery store?
Sure.
( Kids singing )
Betty?
( Terrified screams )
Penny: What a creepy place.
MacGyver: Oh, it's
just an old house.
( Crow cawing )
( Gasps )
What's the matter?
Uh...
Just my imagination. I...
I have a right to be jumpy.
I'm an heiress.
( Keys jingling )
( Fumbling with lock )
I guess I am nervous.
Here, let me try.
( Door creaking )
You first.
( Hinges squeaking )
( Floorboards squeaking )
Hey, penny.
Come on in. Take a look.
See? Told you.
Nothing to be afraid of.
That's easy for you to say.
I'm the one who found
out that I'm related
to a gangster and a madwoman.
Well, you know, that
doesn't surprise me.
What?
What I mean is...
Every family's got a
black sheep in the pack.
There any black
sheep in your family?
You're looking at him.
Why don't you
take a look around?
I'm going to unload the Jeep.
Promise you won't be too long?
I'll be right outside.
( Creaking )
( Squeaking )
( Thunderclap )
( Thunder cracks )
( Downpour begins )
Aw, man.
( Door slams )
( Door creaking )
Penny!
( Kicking door )
Penny, I'm locked out!
Oh!
Wait till you see what I found!
I bet this was
aunt Betty's room.
Look at the
wallpaper and linens.
Everything's so beautiful.
And feminine.
It's like nothing's been
touched in here for years.
MacGyver, we could
be the first people
To set foot in here
since she disappeared.
I don't think so.
There's not enough dust.
Looks like somebody's
been keeping it up.
But who?
This is spooky.
( Thunderclap )
Look at all these dresses.
Oh, these are beautiful.
Boy, aunt Betty
had expensive taste.
Looks like she could have
used a good diet, though.
Huh.
( Soft music plays )
Where have I heard that before?
( Thunder roars,
music box crashes )
Oh, no.
Oh, wow!
MacGyver, look at this.
( Thunder cracks )
MacGyver?
( Squeaking and clattering )
This isn't funny.
MacGyver?
Surprise!
For the birthday girl.
You shouldn't have.
Oh, yes, I should have.
And you even made it yourself.
How can you tell?
Well, it's a little crooked.
Yeah, I guess it got a little
squished underneath my pack.
I wanted to surprise you.
Mmm!
Chocolate mint and banana icing.
You even remembered my favorite.
Yeah. Who could forget
a combination like that?
Happy birthday, penny.
You know you
didn't have to do this.
I mean, just being here
so I don't have to be in this
creepy old house by myself
is the best birthday
present I could ever ask for.
Just make a wish, please.
Yeeeeee... yay!
Thank you.
Oh, the diary!
What diary?
This diary. I found it hidden
In my aunt Betty's music box.
By the way, are you any
good at fixing music boxes?
"A penny for your thoughts"?
My name is on it.
This is getting really weird.
It is only a book, penny.
No, it's not just the book.
It's this whole house.
Haven't you noticed
how it closes in on you?
Like you're being
watched all the time.
It's thinking like that
that's going to drive
you absolutely nuts.
Now, repeat after me:
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Come on. There's...
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
( Thunder crashing )
What was that?
MacGyver!
MacGyver: Wow!
Go on back inside.
I'll find the fuse box
And try and get
the lights back on.
No sense both of
us getting soaked.
No way! I'm not going
back in that house!
I'd rather drown.
( Screams )
man: Growing up, I
used to hear stories
about an old Indian
burial ground around here.
First time, anybody's ever
found part of it, though.
Well, I don't think the
Indians had dentists.
At least, none that
used gold crowns.
Well, I'll be...
I never noticed that before.
You an archaeologist,
Mr. MacGyver?
No, not professionally.
Too bad.
Have to wait for the
state boys to send us one.
It took forever to
clean the kitchen.
Penny, this is sheriff howells.
Uh, cliff howells, at
your service, ma'am.
It's a pleasure to meet the
new lady of Parker house.
Well, I feel more
like the grave keeper.
Would you like a
cup of coffee, sheriff?
Uh, thank you kindly.
The doctor says it
doesn't agree with me.
It's too hard on my stomach.
That's what he's always saying.
Besides, I got
to back to town
and make some calls
about your friend here.
You're not going
to let that old skull
just lie there, are you?
A few more days won't hurt any.
Maybe that thing
is my aunt Betty.
I wouldn't get too
excited, ma'am.
We've been looking
for Betty for 30 years.
Never found nothing
but dead ends.
Now, you'd be
just about as lucky
To find Amelia earhart
or Jimmy hoffa maybe.
We'll let the experts tell us.
Meantime, I'd appreciate it
if you folks make sure nobody
tampers with the remains.
Don't worry
I wouldn't touch it
with a ten-foot pole.
You know, for someone
who's been working
on a case for 30 years,
you'd think he'd
get a little excited.
Did you read this?
Penny: Wow, I
wish my handwriting
was that neat.
Yeah, look what
happens later on.
Penny: Then she was mad.
Well, I don't know what
the psychiatrists would say
but something sure
happened to her.
You know, I wish there
was some way of finding out
Whether or not that
is aunt Betty we found.
- Maybe there is.
- How?
I'll need to pick
some stuff up in town.
You want to come along?
No, that's okay. You go ahead.
I never really got a chance
to explore this place anyway.
Besides, it's not nearly
As spooky in the daytime.
You sure?
I'm sure.
I think.
( Gasps )
Boy, this is the
weirdest family reunion
I've ever been to.
Sylvia: 1958...
That's when cloverton
was really something.
Big tourist industry...
Until the new highway.
My father ran the paper then.
You know, if that skull
did turn out to be Betty Parker,
it'd be the biggest
news to hit these parts
since... well, since
she disappeared.
Sheriff Hollis didn't
seem too optimistic.
Well, you got to understand
Clifford inherited that
job from his father,
less than a month
before Betty disappeared.
It's one case he's
never been able to solve.
And don't think he doesn't get
his share of ribbing about it...
Especially around election time.
You find what
you're looking for?
Well, there's lots of stories
about Betty Parker's
disappearance,
but I can't find
a single picture.
Oh, that can't be.
Take a look.
Now, who'd want to go
and do a thing like that?
A better question
might be, "why?"
Penny: "The house is alive.
"I can feel I.
"It watches me...
Follows my every move.
"I'm doomed to wander here,
"alone for all eternity,
alone with the monster."
The monster?
( Music box playing )
MacGyver... you genius.
( Clock chimes discordantly,
distant clattering )
( Distant clinking )
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Oh, he'd better be right.
( Loud clanging )
Stop it!
( Clanging stops )
Please be over. Please be over.
( Thunderous
rumbling and clanging )
( Screaming )
( Panting )
( Gasps )
( Screaming )
( Man screaming )
Don't do that!
( Panting )
MacGyver, you nearly
scared me to death.
Well, we nearly went together.
What on earth are
you doing in there?
I found some more bones in here.
It's definitely a woman.
Oh, well, that's wonderful news.
I mean, between you
and those horrible noises...
What noises?
In the house.
Don't tell me that
you didn't hear them.
Oh, it's probably the plumbing.
The plumbing does
not bang on walls
and drag things around and moan.
And the music box...
Please tell me
that you fixed it.
MacGyver... Oh, that does it.
I just want to pack
up my things right now
and I want to go home.
Penny, whatever's
going on around here
has got nothing
to do with ghosts
Or goblins or the supernatural.
There's a purely logical
explanation for everything.
Really?
Well, that would sound
a lot more reassuring
If you weren't
holding a human skull.
Is this okay?
Yeah, that's perfect.
Very perfect.
You didn't happen
to find a picture
of your aunt Betty, did you?
No. Nothing.
You know, even her
portrait was cut out.
Like someone wanted to
get rid of all trace of her.
Well, then I guess i'm
gonna have to work blind.
How can you find out
what a person looks
like just from a skull?
Well, these erasers
Will help judge the
thickness of the skin.
Then I build up from there.
It's kind of like
three-dimensional
Connect-the-dots.
Penny: Well,
sounds like it's
gonna be a long night.
I'm gonna go make some coffee.
"They're all trying to kill m.
"I can't trust anybody.
"He wants me to see Dr. Simms.
"He says it's for my own
good, but I know it's a lie.
"Dr. Simms is a butcher.
"He can't make me go to him.
I won't let him. I won't..."
Boy, it gets hard to read.
You know, from the looks of it,
she could hardly hold the pen.
You're beat.
Why don't you get some sleep?
I'll let you know
when this is done.
Oh, maybe you're right.
I just hope all this doesn't
give me nightmares.
Good night.
♪ ♪
( Slow footsteps )
Man: Betty...
What was that for?
You know... the flowers.
I mean, you did put them
in my room, didn't you?
Penny, I think you're right.
There is something weird
going on around here.
What do you mean?
MacGyver! It's me.
Not quite.
Penny... say hello
to your aunt Betty.
Now you might think it's funny,
but I don't appreciate
Halloween pranks.
Trust me, sheriff.
This is not a prank.
The last thing I need
is a couple of amateurs
getting in the
way of police work.
MacGyver's not an amateur.
Well, actually, I am.
Howells: Do you
two know the penalty
for tampering with
state evidence?
Oh, ulcers be hanged.
It's too early in the day
to deal with this
nonsense without a coffee.
- Do you want another one?
- Sure.
Want some sugar?
Penny: Yes, please.
You know, we're really sorry.
We didn't mean to
cause any trouble.
Yeah, I'm sure
you didn't, ma'am.
MacGyver: Sheriff, maybe
what we did was wrong,
but this skull should be enough
to get the state
forensic lab interested.
Interested enough
to laugh in my face.
I don't think they'd laugh
if they saw the diary.
Diary?
Oh, we found Betty
Parker's journal.
As far as we can tell,
it ended about the
time she disappeared.
Penny: She was always writing
About how everybody
was trying to kill her.
Really paranoid.
You know, this is bitter.
Poor Betty.
Her mind just went.
Just kept getting
worse and worse.
She wouldn't let
anybody help her.
Not even me.
Well, did she ever
see a psychiatrist?
Howells: No, she
didn't trust shrinks.
MacGyver: Well, there
was a doctor Simms
mentioned in her diary.
I don't recall the name.
I'd like to see this diary.
Where is it, penny?
Penny?
Penny?
Hmm?
The diary... where is it?
The diary?
The diary.
Uh... I think it's upstairs.
I'll go get it.
Strange girl.
Very strange.
What have we got here?
Is this
what she's looking for?
Oh, yeah. That's it.
She's a Parker, all right.
Strung tighter than a
fiddle string, all of 'em.
Aw...
Maybe it is this house.
Or, uh...
Maybe it's in the Parker blood.
( Music box playing )
Home...
I've come home.
( Music box playing faintly )
( Music box continues )
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Man: Betty...
No, get away from me.
( Penny screaming )
Penny?
Penny?
Penny?
"E.p. And c.H."
( Creaking )
( Creaking )
♪ ♪
There's no such thing as ghosts.
There's no such
thing as ghosts...
♪ ♪
( Faint moaning )
Penny?
No, please don't hurt me!
Please, don't hurt me!
What?
Penny, what's the matter...
Stay away from me!
It's me.
It's MacGyver.
It's all right.
Oh, MacGyver.
( Sobbing ): Oh, oh, it is you.
I saw it.
Wait a minute.
What are you talking about?
The monster.
What monster? What
are you talking about?
No!
Penny: No...
MacGyver...
Don't!
- Man: Here.
- No!
MacGyver, don't hurt him!
What?
( Sobbing )
It's okay.
I'll look after him now.
Give me the ice bag.
Thanks.
Virgil didn't mean
to hit you so hard.
Virgil?
He doesn't know
his own strength.
You know, he carried
me all the way down here
after I fainted.
He's very protective.
Yeah... this, I know this.
Oh, I feel like there's a Cannon
going off in my head, too.
You know, I don't know
What's wrong with me.
I was so out of it before.
Virgil thought I
might hurt myself.
Thought I might fall out
a window or something.
Yeah, well, he was right.
The sugar you
put in your coffee?
It was laced with some kind
of organic compound, probably
A hallucinogen like
mescaline, maybe.
Well, who would want to drug me?
MacGyver: That's
what I'd like to know.
So this is where Betty's father
made his bootlegging
fortune, huh?
It's all right, Virgil.
He won't hurt it.
MacGyver: So you
worked on this, huh?
It's my job.
I make the juice.
Betty liked the juice.
When he saw me in town,
he thought aunt Betty
had come home
after all these years.
You saw all those pictures.
I think Virgil had
a crush on Betty.
So he came down here to
get the still running again.
That explains all your
mysterious noises.
If she was drinking this stuff,
no wonder she went mad.
Well, it sure didn't help.
I don't think it
was the alcohol.
It was lead poisoning.
See all the patches on
these condensing tubes?
They're made out of lead.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that every drop
of the moonshine
was contaminated.
There was so much lead
phosphide on her skeleton
that it sparked when I
scraped it with my knife.
So she was poisoning herself
without even knowing it?
And lead poisoning
affects the brain,
which explains her
paranoid behavior.
Then that's how she died.
MacGyver: No, I don't think so.
From the fractures I
saw on her skeleton,
I'd say she died in a fall.
But I think
Virgil knows more
about that than anyone.
It's all right, Virgil.
You can tell me.
What happened to Betty?
Howells: He killed her.
After 30 years, it's almost
a relief to have it over.
Betty called me.
She said Virgil
was out of control.
When I got here,
the two of them were
fighting in her room.
I saw Virgil throw
Betty out the window.
No!
Oh, Virgil.
Nobody blames you.
You've been protecting
him all these years?
Well, when my father died,
I promised I'd
look after Virgil.
I couldn't let him
be locked away
Like an animal.
Don't you see?
He's my brother.
I had no choice.
Well, I'm sure that's what
howells wanted you to think.
What's that supposed to mean?
This was in Betty's room.
Penny: I found that
in the window box.
There's an inscription
on the inside band.
"forever -
e.p. And c.H."
Elizabeth Parker
and... Cliff howells?
Probably fell off when you
pushed her out the
window 30 years ago, huh?
Sylvia, have you ever
heard of a Dr. Simms?
Simms? Oh, yes.
That scandal was on
the front page for months.
What scandal?
He was caught
performing abortions.
Penny: All those big
dresses in Betty's closet.
Aunt Betty was pregnant!
MacGyver: You'd just
been elected sheriff.
An insane woman, carrying
your illegitimate child?
You couldn't afford
that kind of scandal.
Howells: Nonsense.
Virgil killed her.
No!
I tried to save her.
He was hurting her.
I tried to stop him.
She fell.
I tried.
( Sobbing ): I really tried.
He said it was my fault.
Oh, so help me, cliff,
if any of this is true...
I'm sorry, Sylvia.
I truly am.
Virgil was my only way out.
Oh come on, howells.
Put the gun away
before someone gets hurt.
It's over.
You're right, Mr. MacGyver.
It is over.
For all of you.
This'll heat things up.
Give my love to Betty...
Next time you see her.
( Grunting )
( Fire roaring )
Virgil, is there another
way out of here?
No.
No?
MacGyver, it's
getting hot in here!
Yeah, it's gonna get
a lot hotter when the
pressure blows this boiler
and ignites all this moonshine.
Everything in this room's
gonna be fried to a... crisp.
Unless we can use that
pressure to our advantage.
You can see where the lime's
seeped into the rock here.
That means the upper part
of this wall is aboveground.
MacGyver, we're all gonna die
and you're giving
us geology lessons!
Virgil, I need your help.
We're gonna need to cap this.
Can you find something for me?
( Engine grinding )
Aw, come on.
Is it too much to ask
what you're doing?
With any luck, making a torpedo.
But we need something
to aim it with.
Here, you and Sylvia tie
these two pipes together
So they form a cross.
Virgil: Is this right?
That's perfect, Virgil.
Make sure it's tight.
Ow!
What are you doing?
Building up more pressure.
But that'll kill us!
MacGyver knows what
he's doing, don't you?
The brass patch has
a lower melting point
than the steel boiler plate.
If I build up enough
heat and pressure,
the brass will rupture first.
Send enough steam into that pipe
To blow it through that rock.
I hope.
( Engine grinding )
( Creaking )
Ah... I don't believe this.
All right, that'll do it.
Virgil, grab that
pipe, follow me.
Set it right in there.
Up a little,
Right over the patch.
That'll do it.
Everybody, hide
behind those barrels!
Virgil!
Howells: No!
( Screaming )
Oh... I can't believe it.
Oh, MacGyver, you did it.
I'd say we did it.
Look!
Oh, god, how horrible!
Sylvia: Why didn't
he get out of the car?
I guess he didn't have time.
Or maybe someone stopped him
from getting out of the car.
I don't think the police
will press charges.
Sylvia had no way of knowing
that howells was using her.
And Virgil... Well,
his only crime
Was being in love
with Betty Parker.
You know, I can't help
feeling sorry for him.
Yeah. I know what you mean.
I guess aunt Betty
can finally rest in peace.
Yeah.
And so can we.
And maybe you
can give up this notion
of believing in ghosts.
Well, I'm not so sure.
Penny...
It's like I told you.
There is a sane,
rational explanation for
everything that happened here.
( Music box playing )
Is that so?