MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 3, Episode 3 - Back from the Dead - full transcript

Growing up 1,500
miles away from the ocean,

You hardly ever get a
really good sea breeze.

So, for a Minnesota boy like me,

Living on the water
was kind of perfect.

And, as it happened,

My next door neighbor
was a fringe benefit.

MacGyver, still on
for dinner tonight?

I'll be there.

That's what you said last time.

No last minute excuses
this time, I promise.

MacGyver?



Then again...

Ah, good morning, Pete.

Morning.

I think we've got a problem.

Look at this.

That's Jimmy Kendall.

The one and only.

I mean, we break
our backs to get him

in the witness
protection program.

We even had a
funeral for the man!

And here he is with
his picture in the paper.

This had to have
been an accident.

Accident or not,

there he is in all his glory.



If papa Chuck banning

and his syndicate
buddies see this,

after all the information
Jimmy gave the government,

they're gonna make
sure he's dead this time.

We got to get to him.

Well, I've already tried.

He's on a bus with
his baseball team.

They're due to arrive

at shoreline
stadium this morning.

I can be there in about an hour.

Yeah, well, all
right, but be careful.

Remember, if he's in

the target zone, so are you!

a chorus here.

I want to hear a
chorus. Let's go.

- Hey, Lou?
- What?

You remember to bring my
new batting gloves this time?

Listen to this...
He's batting 198.

You haven't worn
out the old ones yet,

- for crying out loud.

Don't worry, I'll have
'em there for the series.

You worry about
using the equipment.

Bringing it is my job.

Got it there, Dave?

Okay.

Come on, guys,
let's go, let's do it.

Think we can hit
one off the top?

Let's do it, guys, come on.

Yeah, sure.

When your grandma's

pitching.

Let's do it guys, come on.

Wow!

Sure wasn't
anything like this where I grew up.

Back in New York,
where I come from,

This is just an
overgrown hot dog stand.

Lou, they say it seats 60,000.

In my whole hometown,
there's only 482 people.

Dave, you getting the jitters?

Fans... I don't know...
they're like elevator music.

After the first pitch, you
don't even notice them.

I sure hope so.

You've been mowing 'em
down since high school.

It's the same game.

And you've got a rifle there.

Pitch the way I
know that you can,

and we murder them.

Ralph, it's probably nothing.

Relax.

Papa Chuck's hardly
cold in his grave,

and the man calls me
out here for a meeting?

How can I relax?

I got word after the funeral

you wanted to see
me, Mr. Webber.

Nice service, don't you think?

Yeah, it was a great send-off.

Papa Chuck would have liked it.

I suppose we could have
talked at the cemetery,

but I don't like doing
business among the dead.

It's disrespectful.

Don't you agree, Ralph?

Oh, absolutely.

I'm the same way
myself, Mr. Webber.

Please, call me Paul.

So, uh, what did you
want to talk to me about,

Mr. Webber, Paul?

Now that papa Chuck is dead,

we have to move ahead.

We have to move forward.

You did a nice job
with the truckers.

You kept our merchandise moving.

We notice, don't think we don't.

Just doing my job.

And efficiency.

That's always prized, Ralph.

Like that union president
at the cargo haulers.

- What was his name?
- Malkovich.

Yeah, malkovich.

The guy was a troublemaker.

So he disappears.

No fuss, no traces. Nice.

And Jimmy the eraser.

He caused us difficulty.

Would have caused
more until you took him out.

We appreciate that.

Just doing my job.

Yeah, and doing it well.

Now with papa Chuck...
God rest his soul...

No longer with us, we'd like you

to accept some
additional responsibilities

with additional rewards.

We're thinking that
you can take on some

of papa Chuck's action.

Hey Paul, just give me a chance.

I'll do the family proud.

I'm certain you will.

Now, we're gonna
start you off small,

see how it goes.

Now, as you know, the family's

Buying into
high-tech operations.

We have a computerized...

Ralph... we got to talk.

Not now, sal.

Trust me, it's important.

I'm talking business
with the man!

As you were saying, Paul.

We have a new
computerized freight service

that we're offering to
the shipping companies.

Some of them don't
realize they need our help.

I'll talk to them.

You talk to them.

Make them understand.

Papa Chuck was a good man,

we're gonna miss him,
but, uh, last few years, he

let things slide.

I'll do whatever it takes.

I know you will.

Are you nuts?

The family finally
gives me the nod,

and you come
interrupting with your

nonsense.

We got big trouble.

Jimmy the eraser...
He ain't dead.

Oh, you see what I mean?

Now that is nonsense.

I did that hit myself.

Today's paper says you didn't.

It can't be.

It's got to be an old picture.

He calls himself Lou Rizzo.

He's with a triple-a
team in the playoffs at

shoreline stadium.

I can't believe this!

If the family finds out,

we're dead.

What are you gonna do about it?

This time, I'm gonna put
him in the ground myself.

There you go.

Listen up, guys, that's enough.

Fast, guy. Going faster.

Right over the plate.

Get it, get it!

Nice swing, Charlie.

Mix 'em up.

You need to loosen up, Dave.

What I need is
an arm transplant.

It's not

your arm.

Next batter!

That's Hank Aaron!

Pitcher never knows
who he's gonna face.

He's a pal of the coach's,

And he's here to
give out batting tips.

So, have a good time.

Blow it

right past him.

Let's go, kid. Let me
see what you got there.

Right over the plate, Dave,
right over the plate.

Throw it by him, Dave.

Do your stuff, Hank.

Don't let him see anything.

Throw it by him, Dave.

Right in my
glove, right in my glove.

- Yeah!
- Ooh!

- Look at that.
- Throw much higher

From Aaron.

Whoa!

Pitch like that in the playoffs,

And you're gonna be taking
a shower by the third inning.

But he was the greatest!

I mean, the all
time home run king.

He hit 755 of 'em.

I know,

and he's a legend,

and he eats
pitchers for breakfast.

Come on, he's human.

And this stadium is just

another ballpark.

Now, you got one

of the best arms I've ever seen.

Use it.

Right in the glove, baby.

Right in the glove.

Right in my glove,
Dave, right in my glove.

Come on, come on,
give it to me, give it to me!

Yeah!

That's it!

Pretty good fast
ball there, huh?

That's it. Come on,

keep it alive

out there, let's go.

My man, David, my man.

One more time, come on, David.

One more time, one more time.

David, I like it, I like it!

Good arm, Davey!

We got another ballplayer.

Throw the strike,
Davey. Come on, Davey.

Come on, babe,
whatever you want.

Your career's on the line.

Yeah!

Okay, everybody
in the locker room.

Let's go.

I'm supposed to give
you 20 years worth

Of experience in
20 minutes. Let's go!

Way to throw the ball, David!

Way to throw the ball!

Let's go, let's go!

Wow! Yeah!

Hustle up, Charlie!

Did I just strike
out Hank Aaron?

Like I said, set 'em up,

and mow 'em down.

It's easy.

Thanks, Lou.

Like the heat, David.

Like the heat.

Let's play.

Hello, Jimmy.

MacGyver?

Hey, hey, hey, hey,

how you doing?

Doing good.

MacGyver, what
are you doing here?

Unfortunately, I'm here to
talk to you about your future.

Take a look.

I told that guy, I
told him, I said,

"take pictures of the
kid, keep me out of it."

Damn!

Can we find a place to talk?

Yeah, let's go up here.

The timing couldn't be worse.

I finally got everything
going for me.

Now this could screw it up.

Jimmy, it already has.

Remember Pete Thornton?

Yeah.

He's working on a
new identity for you.

- No!
- It's got to be.

I got a good life here.

It's working for me.

I'm Lou Rizzo.

Nobody'll even

notice this.

I did, Pete did.

We can't take the chance.

You gave testimony.

You hurt the family.

They're not gonna forget it.

Supposing I dye my hair,
grow a mustache, wear lifts?

I mean, mugs like mine
are a dime a dozen.

Would Jimmy the
eraser fall for that?

All right, okay.

I get your point.

Good.

There he is!

Come on.

Come o!

Come on, in here.

This is not the place
where I want to cash in.

Hey, Jimmy!

You look a little flushed.

In the old days,

I would have had
a piece to even up

the odds.

That's not the only way.

Yeah. And a couple
of grenades, too.

That mop is not
gonna hold them long.

Sometimes you just
have to think positive.

Okay, I'm positive we're dead.

What are you doing
with that hose?

We're taking the
express route out of here.

Hit it!

Come on, hit it!

All right, come on, grab on.

You got to be kidding.

You expect me
to ride that thing?

Not a chance.

On second thought...

We lost 'em.

Not for long.

I've got a hook in Jimmy,
and I'm gonna reel him in.

With what?

His daughter.

Tonight I was going to play

Some five card stud with
Hank Aaron and trade lies.

One lousy picture in the paper,

and it's all hasta mañana.

Well, you know, Jimmy,

Sometimes we all have to...

Change our plans.

This is it?

This is where you live?

Yeah. What's wrong with it?

It's a houseboat.

It's gonna sink.

I'll get you a life jacket.

Come on.

- Hi, mom.
- Hi, yourself.

Hey, you played today!

Almost.

The coach said he'd let me in

if the score wasn't too close.

But it was.

We lost seven to six.

Well, Brian, if you didn't play,

how did you get
your uniform so dirty?

After the game was
over and everybody left,

I slid into second
base a couple of times.

- Why?
- 'Cause...

I didn't want people
to see me come home

in a clean uniform again.

Honey, you hang in there.

You're going to get your chance.

Yeah, right, mom. Thanks.

Susan?

I've got a message
from your father.

The police find anything
at the stadium?

Nothing.

They got there fast,
but not fast enough.

Everyone was gone.

I've asked the detectives to
keep the investigation quiet.

You know, Jimmy,
with your low profile,

You need a press agent.

What the hell's the difference?

Ralph knows I'm alive.

Yeah, but the point is,
only Ralph and sal know.

You said yourself
they can't afford

to have the family find out.

All right, so what we
have to deal with

is Ralph and company.

If you will just stay
out of the limelight.

They're never going
to find you in Montana.

Montana?! What the
hell's in Montana?!

Buffalo chips and blizzards.

Why not Miami?

You like it warm, you get snow.

You like the beach,
you climb a mountain.

You like baseball,

you take up golf.

Jimmy, I'm sorry,
but I'm serious.

This has got to be a
totally different life for you.

It's almost not worth it.

Well, the alternative is
not worth much either, is it?

Think about it.

Come on, Jimmy, it's
not going to be that bad.

We're going to get you
everything you need.

What I need, you can't get me!

You mind if I use the phone?

What for?

The game's tomorrow, and
Dave, our starting pitcher,

will be a basket case
if I'm not there for him.

Okay. One call, all right?

Do me a favor?

Don't say anything
about where you are.

Keep an eye on him.

He's in bad shape.

Yeah, I'll stay close.

Just get things in
the works, all right?

I'll be in touch soon, Jimmy.

Hello? Locker room, please.

Dave Malone.

Jimmy? I'm just going
to take a shower.

Hey, Dave, how you doing, kid?

This is Lou.

Yeah, listen, I'm sorry I
had to blast off on you, kid.

So, how you feeling? Tell me.

I'm okay. Listen, we got a
call here at the locker room.

A guy named Ralph said he
wanted to get together with you.

I didn't know you
had a daughter, Lou.

Uh, what did he say about her?

Nothing.

Just said he's with
her and your grandson.

"Grandson"?

Lou?

Uh-uh, yeah.

Uh, listen, uh, Dave,
did he leave a number?

Yeah.

555-4698.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold it.

Okay, 555...

4698.

4698.

Said for you to call right away.

Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

Listen, uh, Dave, you take
care, and I'll be in touch, okay?

Yeah.

Okay, good luck, kid.

Everything okay

With your pitcher, Jimmy?

Uh, oh, yeah, he's fine.

You know what happened, though,
was the, uh, the third baseman...

He got a... a
hamstring pulled, and...

So, anyway, I'm gonna
give him a call at the hospital.

Yeah, go ahead.

Ralph.

Hey, Jimmy, I've been
waiting for your call.

What's this about
my daughter, Ralph?

You sound pretty good for a
guy who's supposed to be fertilizer.

Answer me.

Okay. I'll answer you.

You got an old debt to pay.

Your daughter's sitting

right here hoping you make good.

So is your grandson.

Cute little kid.

This is not the way the
game is played, Ralph.

It is today, Jimmy.

So, come and get 'em.

Papa Chuck's old
cannery operation.

You remember the place.

Yeah, I remember.

Good.

Well, anyway, kid,

you just keep up
that positive attitude,

And then you'll be out
of there in no time flat.

And I'll be talking
to you, okay?

Ah, he's gonna be fine.

Just needs a little rest.

Hey, Jimmy, I know
it's going to be tough.

You're going to miss 'em all.

But it's got to be this way.

Yeah, I guess it does.

You know, this is going
to sound kind of funny,

But I remember when I was
a kid, I used to go to church.

Take care of my troubles,
you know? Confession.

Doesn't sound funny to me.

I used to know a
priest in this town.

If he's still in business.

You mind?

Go ahead.

Hello? Father Kowalski?

Jimmy Kendall.

Remember me?

Good.

But then again, not so good.

It's a trying time
for me, father.

I'd kind of like to see you.

Talk to you about it.

Maybe you could
give me a little peace.

That's real nice of you, father.

Thanks a lot.

Let's go to church.

I got to admit, it's
been a long time.

Wait over here.

I'm going to go into
the confessional.

Padre'll probably give me
about 500 hail Marys to say.

Are you there, father?

I heard you were dead, Jimmy.

Where you been?

Living another life.

You got it for me?

The gospel according
to Smith and Wesson.

So...

What's going on, Jimmy?

What do you mean,
"what's going on?"

your friend,

father Kowalski,

just walked by this altar
without genuflecting.

That was no priest.

And what is this?

What are you doing with that?

Sooner or later,

a guy's got to take
care of his own business,

know what I mean?

Jimmy, it won't work.

You told me yourself,

they never stop

looking for you.

They snatched...

My daughter...

And my grandson.

What?

I didn't even know
I had a grandson

till somebody took him away.

That's what all those
phone calls were about?

They want me, and
they want me alone.

Otherwise the family's dead.

Oh, Jimmy, why
didn't you tell me?

What for?

You'd just call the cops.

That's not a bad idea!

No.

It boils down to me and them.

Nobody else knows about this,

and nobody else is
gonna know about it.

Jimmy...

They're just gonna kill you.

I know.

But if Susan and the
kid could get out safely,

I really don't care
what happens.

All right, look,

no police, I promise.

But you got to tell
me where they are.

I'll go with you.

No.

My war, my family.

What, a friend can't help?

Boy, you're really
thick-headed, you know that?

You know something,
you're right.

Let's go get your family.

I just don't want to
see you getting hurt,

know what I mean?

Sorry, buddy.

Hello?

Pete, it's Mac.

- Yeah, what's up?
- Jimmy got away.

- What? How?
- I'll explain later.

What I need right now

is to check the
reverse directory

for an address on
this phone number.

Okay, shoot.

555-4698.

Got it.

What are you doing
standing around?

You told me to look for him,

I'm looking for him.

You're standing in here
holding up the walls,

And Jimmy the eraser
is coming to get his kid.

You forget who he is?

Get outside.

All right!

All right.

What are you gonna do with us?

I've told you a dozen times,

my father is dead.

Yeah, that's what
I thought, too.

He ran out on us
when I was a kid.

Three years later, he died.

I have the death certificate.

We got an insurance payment.

For god's sake, you're
making a mistake!

Look, Susan...

you don't mind if
I call you Susan,

do you?

Now, get this straight.

Your father, Jimmy the eraser,

is not dead.

Maybe you are wrong, mom.

Maybe it was a mistake
about grandpa dying.

Yeah, now you got the idea, kid.

You could be proud, too,

'cause Jimmy the eraser

was one of the
best hit-men around.

He sold insurance.

I can remember
when I was a little girl

him coming back
from business trips.

Yeah, he sold insurance.

Yeah, he sold life insurance,

and he always collected.

You just don't believe me.

Please.

Please let us go.

My father is dead.

Soon.

♪ ♪

Where are they, sallie?

My family.

Don't get nervous, Jimmy.

I'm shaking like a leaf.

You better talk to me.

- They're inside.

Just Ralph?

Yeah.

We didn't want anybody
else to know that, uh...

You didn't nail me?
Our little secret?

Well, now you can
take it to your grave.

What do you want, huh?

Just tell me.

Get Ralph out here, alone.

Tip him, I waste you.

Got it?!

Good.

Ralph!

I see something funny.

What is it?!

Come on out here, will you?

You got to see it.

Oh, my god.

Hello, Susan.

Welcome back, Jimmy.

Dumb move.

As soon as sal opened his mouth,

I could hear him sweating.

You let him

fake you out, sallie.

I couldn't help it, ralphie.

Don't blame sallie.

He's just a gopher,

and I ain't chopped
liver, ralphie.

Hey, I got respect
for you, Jimmy.

I know you do, ralphie.

Then you know I ain't
gonna take any chances

with your daughter and the kid.

So let's negotiate.

What do you say, Ralph?

Let the family walk...

Or sal here gets it.

You want to ice sal, go ahead.

I'll Bury him right
next to your family.

Say hello to your grandpa, kid.

Grandpa?

So it's true.

Sorry, honey.

It's all up to you, Jimmy.

Make up your mind.

Now, Ralph, this is
between me and you.

We never let family
get involved before.

Things change.

I got a position now, Jimmy.

I'm running papa
Chuck's territory.

Congratulations.

You're a big man.

That's right.

So I'll do what I
got to do to keep it.

You hear me?

Get the gun, sal.

Now you're showing some sense.

You stay put, Jimmy.

Hands out where I can see 'em.

Come on sal, move it.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

Nervous, ralphie?

Just careful, Jimmy.

Come on, come on,
let's get out of here.

Go! Go!

Oh!

How do we get out of here?

Just keep going, keep going.

Ralph!

I got him.

Let's go get Jimmy.

It's no use; We're trapped.

Nah, if they were tailing us,

they would have
been here already,

And MacGyver, you
can't kill him with an axe.

Probably he's got
them all wrapped up.

Well, what are we going to do?

We're going to wait here.

Come on.

You sure they're in here?

These buildings run the
whole damn block.

Susan. Susan...

I really didn't want you
to get mixed up in this.

Why did you just run out on us?

I did it for you
and your mother.

I didn't want you
dirtied by what I was,

so I walked out.

Susan...

It was better that way.

Better for who?

Me...

Or you?

You think that's your friend?

Shh!

Shh.

It's Ralph and sal.

You're getting out of here.

How?

Brian, I'm going to
have to count on you

To get you and your
mom out of here.

Okay, what do I do?

All right, I'll tell you what.

I'm going to make a
lot of noise out there...

You know, like
cowboys and Indians.

- Distract them.
- You can't.

It's got to be done.

Take this, and take this,

And when you hear that
noise, you bust these windows.

Then with these here bars,
you pry back the grates,

and you get out,
and you run as far

and as fast you can,

you understand?

What about you, grandpa?

No, you can't do it;
We'll find some other way.

There is no other way.

And no matter what,

you see nothing,
you hear nothing.

You just keep going.

And don't look back.

Dad, no!

Please.

"Dad."

I guess that's the only
thing I ever wanted to hear.

Very nice to have met you, son.

Come on out, Jimmy.

Take what you got
coming like a man.

MacGyver's dead, Jimmy.

It's just you and me now.

Hey, ralphie!

Come on, come and get me!

Or do you want sallie to do

your dirty work for you?

Hey, ralphie, I
ain't going nowhere.

No place to go, Jimmy.

Where's your
daughter and the kid?

Where are they?

Let's keep the family out of it.

You want me? You got me.

You know the rules, Jimmy.

No loose ends.

Come on Jimmy, be smart
and tell them to sing out, now.

You want music, sallie?

Go rent a canary.

We'll take you
down piece by piece.

You asked for it.

We'll take the shoulder first.

Run! Keep running!

Where you got 'em hid, Jimmy?

Search me.

I never have been
much of a family man,

Know what I mean?

They're in here someplace.

Your screaming
will flush 'em out.

Got these special
for you, Jimmy.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Hollow-tipped wad-cutters.

They're small going
in, but they make a hole

the size of Detroit coming out.

Very painful.

Something funny, Jimmy?

Yeah... you two geniuses.

They're out of here already.

Doesn't make any difference.

We'll just run 'em down.

Think about that, hero.

Give my regards

to papa Chuck.

You look terrible.

You're no day at
the beach, either.

Yeah, but I feel like...

Oh, I'm sitting on
top of the world.

Thank you.

Anytime.

Come on, grandpa,

I'm never gonna make
it to the major leagues.

Are you kidding?

You got baseballs growing
out of your family tree.

Tell that to the coach.

Well, you're just gonna
have to show him.

You stand up to the plate,
you plow the ball into orbit...

It all starts right here.

And you got to know
that you can do it.

We'll work on it together.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Now, why don't you run
upstairs, grab my coat,

otherwise we're gonna
be late for the game.

Okay, grandpa.

Oh...

Brian!

It's all right.

No problem.

Doctor said he didn't need

those ribs anyway.

Not many guys would
take a bullet for a friend.

What do you say we don't
make a habit of that, friend?