MacGyver (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

MacGyver: It's funny, you know,

the kind of stuff that
pops into your head

When you're trying to work.

I remember there
was this horse...

A golden palomino.

Old man mcginty had
got him in a trade, I think.

I couldn't have been much
more than nine or ten at the time,

but I'd made up my mind I
was going to ride that horse.

'course, knowing
old man mcginty,

that was going to
take some doing.

( Speaking foreign language )



Well, first off, there
was his dog, Hector.

They didn't come any
meaner or louder than Hector.

One whiff of me
heading for that corral,

And Hector'd have the old
man down on me like a shot.

So much for Hector.

( Speaking foreign language )

Well, I remember
thinking to myself

as that palomino stared at
me from across the corral

with a real kind of
proud and angry look,

That if ever there was a time
for turning back, this was it.

But something else
must have decided

our paths were bound
to cross that day,

'Cause, well, my feet
just kept right on going.

( Speaking foreign language )



Now, having a golden
palomino in a corral

is all well and good,

but actually getting
right up to her,

Well, that could be a
whole 'nother ball game.

She was starting to look

a little bit bigger than
I remembered, too.

No, there was definitely
more to riding this palomino

Than had occurred
to me the night before.

MacGyver: Psst! Psst!

( Whispering ): They didn't say
anything to me about any survivors.

The missile... which tent?

You might want to pass the time

by cutting yourself
a little elbow room.

Hey,

I want that knife
back, you know.

I'd always heard
in riding horses,

it was the horse
that did the sweating,

but I wasn't even on him yet,

And you could have wrung
enough out of me to water the lawn.

From here on, it
was easy does it.

If you move too sudden,

or worse, try
jumping on her back,

and you might just as
well strap yourself to a...

Well, to a rocket.

All right, hotshot, so you
got a golden palomino

Between your
knees, and no reins.

Now what?

( Whispering ): Cavalry
should be here any minute.

( Machine gun fire )

( Men yelling in
foreign language )

Now.

God, I hate heights.

Man: What are you doing?!

Making a rocket thruster.

( Men yelling )

Man: What are we doing?!

MacGyver: I'll tell you later!

Boy: Come on, Mac, I've
had big brothers before.

None of them lived
in a place like this.

MacGyver: Well, it's
comfy; I call it home.

I thought you had
to be real normal

to be somebody's big brother.

I mean, this ain't a
normal place to live.

This is weird.

People a lot
taller than yourself

have said the exact same thing.

I think it's interesting.

Okay, it's interesting.

Now can I see Venus?

Well, you will be able to

Once that cloud clears.

Tell you what, in the meantime,

what do you say we go
down and get a bite to eat?

Okay.

Man ( Over radio ):
State department vehicle

j-one-seven-six-five

requesting entry
access to kiva level one.

Man 2: Clearance
request granted.

Proceed to level one.

( Phone ringing )

Will you excuse me, please?

Man: Oh, yeah, I
see what you mean.

Okay, that's the discrepancy.

Okay, uh...

Dr. Marlowe,

our director
Dr. Burke was delayed,

so on behalf of Dr. Steubens

and the sendrex corporation,

I'd like to welcome you
to the kiva laboratories.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm Barbara Spencer.

Oh, yes, his assistant.

He's mentioned
you in his letters.

Oh, Dr. Steubens
is waiting for us

down on the third level.

Follow me, please.

The elevators are this way.

If you'll just stand
completely within this circle,

This will only take a moment.

( Medium-pitched tone )

Spencer, Barbara, t.

G-l-seven-seven-three,
clearance to level three.

Such tight security.

Should I be flattered?

Standard procedure, I'm afraid.

The kiva has the
most advanced security

of all the sendrex corporations.

Nothing moves in or out of here

that isn't constantly
monitored and controlled.

( Beeping )

Sidney, dear
Sidney, how are you?

( Chuckling ): I'm great.

It's good to see you, Carl.

Well, shall we start with
a little tour of the facilities?

Uh, no, I've changed
my mind about that.

We have a serious matter
to settle face-to-face.

As I recall your last telex,

It was queen to bishop four.

Yes.

Correct?

You countered with
rook to kings fifth.

Uh, pure suicide,

but far be it from
me to stop you, Carl.

It's your move, Carl.

Oh, I know.

( Beeping softly )

I'm sorry, Sidney.

( Beeping )

( Explosion )

( Yells )

( Glass shattering )

( Loud rumbling )

( Rumbling fades )

( Pop, cracking )

( Fast beeping )

Woman ( Over P.A. ):
Acid leak, level three.

Containment out of control.

Acid leak, level three.
Containment out of control.

Tell me you were just
in a hurry to see me,

and there's no bad news.

Uh, I was just in
a hurry to see you,

And, uh, I'll save the
bad news till we get inside.

Uh, gant.

Gant... come on, let's have it.

All right.

An accident in new Mexico.

A lab that handles a
lot of classified research.

Something set off a
series of explosions.

How bad?

Well, most of the
personnel got out,

but at least 20 are
still unaccounted for.

Among them is a top British
scientist named marlowe.

He was here visiting one
of our own men, steubens.

They're also both candidates
for the nobel prize this year.

Not exactly the
kind of publicity

The state department
wants to hear.

They still alive?

They survived the blast,

but they're still
trapped in the lab.

They calculate the chances

of anyone getting through
to marlowe and steubens as...

Well, it's not great.

Well, give me "not great"
on a scale of one to ten.

Minus three.

That's why we couldn't
order anyone to try.

So, uh, your name came up.

What other options do they have?

I'm it, aren't I?

You're it.

Now look, Mac,

you don't have to take this
assignment, you know that.

Call the lab, gant, and
tell 'em we're on our way.

( Sirens wailing )

( Indistinct conversations )

I think we may be
getting through again.

Dr. Marlowe?

( Over intercom ): Dr. Steubens?

( Staticky ): Can you hear me?

Gentlemen, can you hear me?

Yes, just-just-just a little.

I-I think... Carl is

regaining consciousness,
but we... we do need

a doctor down here.

( Intercom static )

Dr. Marlowe?

Hello.

Do you hear me?

Hello.

Sorry, sir, we lost it.

Keep trying.

( Indistinct conversations )

Colonel keel.

Gantner.

Woman ( Over P.A.
): Attention, please.

All sendrex clearances must
be approved on a priority basis.

Check at your
substation command post.

Oh, ed, I see you've
already met colonel keel.

I better keep things
moving outside.

- I'll check in with you later.
- Good.

Charlie Burke, this is MacGyver.

Charlie's director of the lab.

Thank you for coming.

How does it stand right now?

Well, marlowe's fine.

Steubens was
unconscious for a while,

but he's coming around.

We've been unable to
maintain any communication

for more than a few
seconds at a time.

You got any idea
what set it off?

An explosion on the third level

somehow made
its way to the first,

and past that we're guessing.

Uh, any chance it could have had

anything to do
with their research?

No, no, no, no,
steubens' research

had to do with magnetic
fields in the ozone layer.

- Rainmakers?
- Yeah.

You're sure this was
an accident, right?

Given the security of
the kiva laboratories,

I don't see how it
could be anything else.

Yeah, right.

Have you got somebody
I can talk specifics with?

Andy Colson is our
chief of operations.

All right, let's have him. That ten
hours can't be gettin' any longer.

Get Colson down here.

Now we started
to drill an air hole

from the outside,
but we had to stop.

Why is that?

We hit sulfuric acid.

The explosion must have
ruptured one of the tanks,

And it's, uh, well, it's
leaking into the ground.

Has it reached the aquifer yet?

Oh, whoa. What's that?

Aquifer.

It's a, uh, layer of
underground water,

In this case it leads
directly into the rio grande.

Now if the acid hits the river,

we're gonna poison
most of this state,

Texas and Mexico.

What can you do about it?

Well, we can neutralize it.

But in order to do
that, we have to flood

The entire complex
with sodium hydroxide.

What's that?

Let's just say
it's the same stuff

They use to clean the
flesh off of skeletons.

You're kidding.

Is that true?

Yeah.

There's a convoy of
tankers on the way right now.

So it's not ten hours anymore?

No. Uh, given the rate
of the flow of the acid,

I'd say you have a little
under five hours, my friend.

Boy, you're just takin' all
the fun out of this, Charlie.

Will you show me
where that tank is?

Right there.

Third level, 300
feet below ground.

You Colson?

That's right.

You must be the screwball.

Andy, come on.

Yeah... it doesn't make
much sense to go over

every level right now.

If you can wire me for two-way,

You can fill me in
as I get to each one.

First problem, though,
is to get me inside.

Have you got any ideas on that?

The only way to get
down to the first level

right now is
through the elevator.

We can't even open
the doors up here.

The whole shaft is
protected by lasers.

Infrared or gas discharge?

Gas.

Co2, 10,000 watts.

( Whistles )

You boys take your elevator
shafts pretty seriously.

Spare a cigarette?

Oh, sure.

Thank you.

Take the pack, why don't you?

You want my lighter, too?

No, thanks. I carry
my own matches.

Now this wiring duct here.

It looks like it runs
into the elevator shaft.

Does it?

Colson: Yeah, it does.

And it's got a grate
on the opening,

but that's not gonna
do you any good.

You're still gonna
draw the laser there.

That's what I'm countin' on.

Can you get me inside?

You know, you're not gonna
be able to see that laser.

Can you?

Yeah, I can get you in.

You know, it's
gonna take a lot more

than you can carry
in that knapsack

to get you through all this.

Well, the bag's not
for what I take, Colson.

It's for what I find
along the way.

MacGyver, that Mike
is voice-activated.

All you've gotta do is talk.

We'll be listening.

Okeydoke.

Ed, relax.

I've got a big date on Sunday.

I'm playin' ball with
my little brother.

( Whistling )

Well, I've reached the grate.

I don't see any damage so far.

( Explosion )

Colson: What was that?

Yeah, well, there's nothing
wrong with your laser.

I told you you
couldn't get through.

Well, then maybe
it's time for a smoke.

Come on, pal, how about a light?

( Sizzling )

( Coughs )

Colson: Is he really taking
the time for a smoke?

Well, that's kinda pretty.

Gant, remind me to get
another pair of binoculars.

Geez, I hate to do this.

You're the best pair I ever had.

Binoculars?

What the...?

What're you doing
with binoculars?

Well, I'll tell ya,

Did you ever see a
scorpion sting itself to death?

( Crackling )

I think I'm in.

What does it look
like down there?

Twilight zone.

Elevator's jammed in the shaft,

So I'm gonna have to find
another way to the lower level.

I'm headin' for the bio lab.

We got a problem, boys.

Gant: What is it, Mac?

Well, the corridor's
caved in ahead here.

I don't think I can
make that bio lab.

Back the other way, MacGyver.

There's a control room.

Hold it a second.

( Metallic tapping sound )

( Walls creaking )

( Metallic tapping )

Gantner: Mac, what's happening?

I'm getting a tapping sound

coming from the
direction of the lab.

I got a pretty big girder
in my way here, though.

( Tapping )

Come on back to
me one more time.

( Metallic tapping )

I got some life down here, boys.

Colson: Uh,
MacGyver, the girder.

Can you move it?

Well, that'd take some doing.

It's wedged in here pretty good.

If I could raise it up
about three or four inches,

I might be able to
swing it to one side.

( Slurping )

What's that sound?

It was me, Mac, just
taking a sip of water.

Water.

( Grunting softly )

Colson: MacGyver,

what are you doing down there?

Praying my back
doesn't give out.

( Grunting )

Is there anybody hurt seriously?

Jerry: Some of us,

But we can all walk.

All right, let's get
you out of here.

One at a time, up
through that hole.

You can make your way
to the corridor from there.

Colson, you got a whole bunch
of people coming your way.

A rope ladder in the elevator
shaft ought to get them topside.

We'll see them out from up here.

Thank you.

MacGyver: Yeah, we got lucky.

Let's just hope it holds, huh?

Gantner: Sure you
can go on, Mac?

Well, unless you got another way
to get to marlowe and steubens,

I'm just getting lazy.

Marlowe and steub...

You're not saying
they're still alive, are you?

Yes, ma'am, in the
lab on the third level.

I know where.

I, I mean, I was just about
to join them again in his lab

when the first explosion hit.

Are you going down after them?

Yeah, well, that's the plan.

It sure would be a big
help if you could tell me

How you made it all
the way back up here.

I'll do better than that.

I'll show you.

I'm going with you.

No, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no,

I'm sorry, but the
only place you're going

is up through that
hole to the surface.

Oh, no, not without
Carl steubens.

Look, uh...

Spencer. Barbara Spencer.

Barbara, what if
I were to tell you

that, if I can't stop an
acid leak down there,

in a few hours, they're going
to flood this whole complex

with sodium hydroxide?

Then I'd say we're wasting time.

Uh, guys, we got a
little change of plan here.

I have a Barbara
Spencer on my hands.

She's coming with me.

God, I hate heights.

( Sighs )

I know this is a stupid
time to ask, but...

Have you got a name?

MacGyver.

Heh, MacGyver.

That's a good name.

Any idea what
set the blasts off?

No, it was so sudden,

I barely had time to make
it past the electronics lab

before that exploded, too.

Huh. Steubens' lab,
bio lab, electronics.

It seems like all the explosions

were somehow
connected to the labs.

I don't see how that's possible.

They're all independent
of each other.

Is this where you came up?

- Yes, there's a stairway...
- Hey, hold it! Hold it!

( Sizzles )

( Gasps )

Oh!

Is there another way down?

The gas chamber.

The what?

It's a nickname we
have around here

for a series of air locks
around a common lab

That work with sensitive gases.

This way.

Uh, you got three hours
and 27 minutes, Mac.

How's Spencer holding up?

She likes my name.

What more could I ask for?

Chocolate.

Want one of these?

No, thanks.

How can you think about
eating candy at a time like this

When chances of us
getting out of here alive...

I know what the odds are.

But I thought we might be able

To store up on a little
energy before we pressed on.

Let's go.

Strange.

What's that?

Air locks along the corridor
are designed to close

in any emergency.

( Alarm )

MacGyver!

Hurry!

( No audio )

Carl?

( Moans )

We're still alive?

After that explosion,
it's a miracle we are.

But, uh, we're, we're
trapped down here,

and the intercom,
it's, it's on-off, on-off.

They, they know we're here?

They're trying to get to us.

With all the damage
on the upper levels,

It's a, it's...

Oh, no.

Roger.

Colonel...

The hydroxide tankers are
reaching the complex now.

Get Burke on the line.

Tell him we'll be ready

To flood the complex
in 55 minutes.

Colson: Listen, we're
repairing the circuits

That open the air lock
doors that are behind you.

I hear you.

Do you have any idea
what kind of gas is in there?

No, I sure don't.

Maybe Spencer does.

Yeah, Colson, I don't think
we can get a fix on it just yet.

We're going to try the
air lock circuits now.

Okay.

Colson?

Yeah?

Sorry.

What's the distance from
here to that complex wall?

Uh, 895 yards.

Just over a half mile.

And a straight shot.

Radio Burke.

Tell him we found a spot.

Colson, this is
a gas lab, right?

Wouldn't there be some
vacuum pumps to evacuate the air

just in case of an emergency?

Yeah, that's right, there are.

But you would have to go
through the gas to get to them.

And even then, there's no
guarantee that they'll work.

Mac, you can't.

Once you break the
seal on that air lock,

the gas'll kill you.

It doesn't matter, gant.

We're going to run out of air
in here pretty soon anyway.

The switch for the pumps
is on that panel. See it?

All right.

When we open this air lock,

I want you to head
straight for that passage

Down to the next
level, all right?

Here.

I want you to put this
around your mouth and nose.

It won't keep out the gas,
but it might help a little.

MacGyver, if you don't
get the pumps started...

Hey, hey...

I just wanted to say...

Thanks.

You bet.

( Beeping )

( Beeping continues )

( Beeping )

( Air whirs )

It's the indicator
lights for the pumps.

They're coming on.

I can't be positive they're
working, but they're on.

Mac, Mac, can you hear me?

Colonel keel's confirmed, sir.

- They're about to go into the launch procedure.
- Thank you.

Launch procedure?
What launch procedure?

What's he talking
about, Charlie?

Ed, ed, ed, take it easy.

We had no choice.

- About what?
- About the acids.

We can't be sure the
sodium hydroxide flooding

is going to be enough.

We have to fuse
the substratum rock

between here and the aquifer.

And we think an
underground missile

Aimed at the kiva
foundation might do it.

A missile?

And what happens to the kiva?

Below the first level
there won't be a kiva.

Mac, you got to
get out of there.

They've got a
missile aimed at you.

Mac!

Mac, can you hear me?

Mac! Answer me!

Mac, u-use your intercom.

Mac!

MacGyver: Bad news, Spencer.
We lost the two-way Mike.

Spencer: They don't
know where we are now.

MacGyver: Let's
find that acid leak.

( Spencer coughing )

The tanks should be this way.

Watch your step now.

This is nasty stuff
we're lookin' for.

( Coughing )

MacGyver!

Well, it looks like
the explosion cracked

The foundation, too.

Acid's runnin' into the
ground through that.

Well, there's nothing we can do

to stop it, is there?

We might be able to
whip up a band-aid.

Our first problem, though,
is to get up to that crack.

Do you think you could balance

against that tank if you
stood on my shoulders?

That might get us close
enough to stop that leak.

With what? That's sulfuric
acid up there, remember?

With these.

Chocolate bars?

To you, they're milk chocolate.

To sulfuric acid, it's
lactose and sucrose...

C12, h22, o11... disaccharides.

The acid will react
with the sugars

to form an elemental carbon

and a thick gummy residue.

That should be enough
to clog up that rupture,

Temporarily at least.

Comin' up!

All right, I'm movin' over.

All right, bars are
comin' up, right hand.

A little closer.

All right, start stuffin'
'em in at the angle

And work your way over.

Oh, and, Spencer?

Yeah, make sure
it melts in the acid

and not in my hand, right?

Yeah.

How much longer
before they launch?

From our last sync check,

nine minutes and 30 seconds.

I think we got it!

Yeah. Nice work, Spencer.

Oh, no!

There's the door to
steubens' lab right there,

but with all this in the way,

I don't know how
we're gonna get...

Well, we're just gonna have

to build ourselves a new door.

Is there any way to
communicate with them?

There's a lab-to-lab intercom.

I'll try it.

Dr. Steubens! Dr. Marlowe!

Can you hear me? Please!

Can you answer this?

Are you all right?

Dr. Marlowe!

Plastique...

Can you hear me?

A bomb.

Dr. Marlowe!

Yes.

Is Carl all right?

Oh, yes, he's all right, but...

We're down here on the
third level in metallurgy...

Just behind the
back wall of your lab.

No!

It's them, Carl,
they're right there!

They've, they've come to get us.

We're gonna...

Dr. Marlowe, I want you to
build yourselves a barricade

as far from the back
wall as you possibly can.

We're gonna try

And blow an
opening in that wall.

Do you understand?

We'll do it.

Blow an opening?

With what?

Don't tell me you know
how to make a bomb

out of a stick of chewing gum.

Why, you got some?

Come on. This is a lab, right?

There's gotta be something here

We can fake it with.

What kind of lab is this anyway?

It's metallurgy.

Metallurgy...
metallurgy... Metallurgy.

Come on, MacGyver.

Sodium metal. That'll do it.

Any idea where
they might keep it?

In here.

Bingo.

All right, we probably
won't need much more

than a few grams,

But we're gonna have
to contain it in something.

Test tube?

No. Much too big,

and it's got to
be water soluble,

something cellulose.

How about a cold capsule?

Yeah.

You know, Spencer,

I think you're startin'
to get the hang of this.

But I do wish I had known

you had a cold
before I kissed you.

Attention! Six minutes
to missile launch.

I say again, six minutes
to missile launch.

All right, now try to
find me a glass jar,

about a quart size
with a stopper in it.

Put some water in it, all right?

Okay.

This capsule hits the
water and dissolves,

the sodium'll give off hydrogen,

And there'll enough
of a reaction to ignite it.

Call marlowe and
tell him to get down.

We're ready.

Dr. Marlowe, we're gonna try

and blow an opening
in the wall now.

All right, Spencer,
do me a favor, will ya?

Name it.

Let me go in after
marlowe and steubens.

You wait out here, all right?

Why?

Well, chalk it up to
superstition, all right?

Wait here!

Marlowe! Steubens!
You all right?

Yeah. We're, we're over here.

Oh...

Get on the intercom.

Try to reach the surface.

Okay.

You, back!

Sidney,

Get away from that intercom.

Carl, what is this?
What are you doing?

Have you gone clean
out of your mind?

MacGyver, is everyone all right?

Spencer, gosh darn it!

I told you to wait outside.

I'm sorry, Barbara.

Carl, I don't understand.

The explosion down
here... It wasn't an accident.

Everybody kept lookin' for
an accidental explanation

because nothing else made sense.

With all the
security of this place,

who could possibly get a bomb

to this level?

You and marlowe,

you weren't supposed to survive.

No.

Carl, this makes no sense!

MacGyver: Doesn't it?

You told me sendrex ordered

a whole new series
of experiments,

but that steubens refused
to accept the results.

So, he invites the only other

Expert in the field to visit.

One accidental explosion

and all this research
is set back 20 years.

Maybe more.

They wanted it to
become a weapon.

I've spent my whole
life to stop suffering.

A weapon?

Chain reactions in the ozone...

without the ozone layer,

the sun's ultraviolet rays
would kill everything on earth.

I think Carl here discovered

the key to make the ozone layer
self-destruct, didn't you, Carl?

The ultimate doomsday weapon.

I couldn't give them that.

I still can't.

Sidney,

we're the only ones
who can stop this.

No!

( Gunshot )

That was dumb, Spencer!

Very, very dumb!

Yeah, it also hurts like hell!

Ah, stop talkin', will ya?

Colson, I want you
to begin the flooding.

All right, Spencer,

it's time to get
you out of here.

You're a lousy liar, MacGyver.

We're out of time and
they don't even know

we're down here, do they?

There's gotta be some
way to contact the surface.

You did everything
in your power, Mac.

Spencer, you're a genius!

What's going on with
the lights, Colson?

I don't know.

Will somebody tell
me what's going on?

Morse code, sir.

What's it saying?

20, 19, 18,

17, 16...

"Acid stopped...

All safe. Mac."

( All cheer )

The missile! Abort the launch!

Abort launch? Yes, sir.

Abort launch! Abort launch!

Repeat, abort launch!

Hey, hold it a second, guys.

What is this, Spence, you trying

to get outta here
without saying good-bye?

I'd kiss you, MacGyver,
but I got this cold.

So, what's a little cold
between friends, huh?

You're terrific, Spencer.

Move her out.

Boy: You still haven't told
me what you do for a living.

MacGyver: Oh, I'm sort of

a repairman.

But I like playing
basketball with you best.

Okay, what's the deal this time?

Championship.

Seventh and final game of this

awesomely contested match.

110-109... my team
on top, of course.

And the clock?

( Mimics Howard cosell ): A
paltry three seconds remain.

Ow! Look at that!

Short stuff's out.

All right, wait. Hold it.

Hold the phone.

What?

You better get somebody
ready to measure me

for my championship ring.

All right, shoot it! Shoot it!

All right. Reggie stops, pops,

and is tops!

A phenomenal
shot by a short kid!

The fans go craz!