MacGyver (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - Mac + Desi + Riley + Aubrey - full transcript

♪ Vacation, all I ever wanted

♪ Vacation, had to get away...

Whoa. Check this out.

Eh?

"Inspired by the European
reception halls

of the 19th century..."
I see it.

"The king first commissioned
this royal hall

at the turn
of the 20th century."

You want to check out
the night markets?

No,
this is great. Yeah.

Picture?



Okay. With the cool sword.Okay. Yeah.

Smile.

Mac.

Why does she look familiar?

Karenni activist
Pinapa Chaiveera.

She's been on the news lately
for protesting

deplorable conditions on the
Burmese border in refugee camps.

It looks like
she's being arrested.

I've seen Brokedown Palace.

Once she's in prison,
she is not getting out.

We're supposed
to be on vacation.

On the bright side,
we freed her.

Quick. In here. Quick.

Okay, we need a way out.



Um... All right.

I think I got an idea.

Gotta get over here.

I need your bra.

Oh, baby, I think I need it
more than you.

Underwires are made
of malleable nickel titanium.

By winding it through the fuse box,
electrifying the wrench,

I should be able to kill power
to the whole place,

giving us a chance to run away.

How did you do that so fast?

Every woman on the planet can.Right.

Sorry. Thank you.Mm-hmm.

Would these help?

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

You ready?

God, I missed blowing things up.

Happy anniversary, babe.

So...

You both work
at a think tank, huh?

Yes. I-I'm an engineer.
She's a language specialist.

Did you meet at work?

No, we were both volunteering
at the animal shelter

and we liked the same puppy.

What was the name of the puppy?

Gizmo.

And the breed?

Oh, come on. Nobody's
gonna ask us that.

I'm being thorough.

All right.

You got to work on your accent.

You sound like
a constipated cowboy.

You have two hours
to get your story straight.

That man will question you
and dig into your past

like a famished jackal.

It's just Riley's boyfriend.
It's not like we're infiltrating

the Kremlin.
We're going on a double date.

MacGYVER: Yeah, he's an
accountant. What's he gonna do?

Our taxes?

You must maintain your covers.

Not just for Riley,
but for the survival

of our organization.

At least the whole dating
part of your cover is real.

Yeah, hang on.
W-What was that?

Those little microexpressions.
You two aredating?

Yes, of course we are.

It's just that...

It's just that we haven't
really been on a "date" date

since before we broke up.

Seriously?

Mac... Uh, well, it's
a little hard

with all the chaos

and saving the world stuff
we do around here.

Well, tonight you can enjoy
a well-deserved night off. Hmm?

Where are you going tonight?

Aubrey got us a reservation at
a pop-up restaurant called...

uh, something French.

Uh, Fork. Spoon.

La Belle... Cuillère?

Yeah.
You're joking.

Chef Salvatore is a
world-renowned culinary artist.

I've called in every favor
and I'm still

on the damned wait list. Right.

We are finished here.

Just remember your covers.

And act like a couple.

Hmm? We are a couple.

Yeah. A normal couple.

Well, you look nice.

So do you.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

♪ I don't want a place to stay

♪ Make my day

♪ Make my day...

Okay, you're nervous.

That's your mission
pump-up music.

Yes, okay. I'm nervous.

Russ actually kind of
got into my head back there.

We're a normal couple, Mac.
We can handle a date.

What if the only thing that
works for us is the adrenaline?

No.

We don't need to be on a mission
to enjoy each other's company.

Just, no work.

A nice dinner with friends.

And to prove it,

we will leave our phones
in the car.

Yeah.
Mm?

We can do this.
Oh, you know what?

I see your phone and I raise you
my Swiss Army knife.

How about that? Oh. Yeah?

You sure about that? Oh, yeah.

Okay.

You know what
we're gonna do tonight?

Kick this date's ass.

Yeah, we are.

Names, please.

Uh, Desiree Nguyen
and Angus MacGyver.

Real names, please.

Those are our real names.

Welcome to La Belle Cuillère.

Riles.

Oh. Hey.
Oh...

Hey, guys.

Glad you could make it. DESI: Hi.

You got your covers
straight, right? Do not worry.

We are so good. We're a normal couple.

Stop saying that. Right, sorry.

You must be Mac. Yeah,
sorry. I am...

I'm a, I'm a hugger. Yeah.

Ah...

I am a language specialist.
That last one was Vietnamese.

You never told us
he spoke so many languages.Yeah.

Oh. Oh, I grew up
all over the world.

Yeah. Army brat
turned accountant.Mm-hmm.

Nothing as exciting
as you guys, though,

working for a global think tank?

Eh... Riley said you guys

just got back from, uh,
where was it? Uh, Moldova?

Yeah. Renovating a factory.

Oh. Oh, I thought you-you
said you were consulting

at a health clinic.

That, too. Little bit of both.
It was a busy trip.

Sounds action-packed.

You could say that.

You want to go get a drink? Mm-hmm.

See you guys.

Okay.

It's great. Yes. Oh, great.

One shot of whiskey straight up,

and one bubblegum cosmotini
spritzer for the lady.

Thank you.

I remember having to lie
to Bozer about that stuff

all the time.

It's so hard. I don't know
how Riley's doing it.

She likes him.

She just wants a life
outside the Phoenix.

Good luck with that.

It'll get easier,

I promise.

Let's just have fun
and relax. Yeah? Okay.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present to you

your provider this evening
of gastronomic excellence,

Chef Salvatore.

For our first course: yartsa gunbu
mushrooms sprouted

from the petrified bodies
of ghost moth caterpillars.

Bon appétit.

MacGYVER:
It's so tiny.

We have this thing

where we make
a fancy dinner at home

and then we match
the movie to the meal.

It's my favorite night
of the week.

Mine, too.Mm-hmm.

Every week?

Yeah.

You do it every week?

We have a thing, too. Don't we?

MacGYVER: Do you
see those guys over there?

They've got comms and guns.

It's probably security.
It's a rough neighborhood.

Turn off your work brain.
We're on a date, remember?

Yes.
Okay.

Our next course

features the exquisitely rare
fifth talon

of the Pashtun quail.

Enjoy.

If I add water,
will it get bigger?

Hey. Brought you a bottle,
compliments

of Chef Salvatore.

Hey.Hey. Aw.

Uh, this is my good friend Chad
from New York, and the owner

of La Belle Cuillère.

Oh, no.
That's all this guy.

Hey, perk of being an owner
is you get to have a table

every night if you want it. If I did that, I'd,
uh, I'd never see

a return on my investment,
now, would I?

Wha... You're an owner?

Just a co-owner.

You didn't tell me you were
co-owner of a restaurant.

It's just a side hustle.

You know, no big deal. CHAD: Uh, sorry,

I didn't mean to,
uh, spill the beans.

But it was nice
to meet everyone.

Please, enjoy the wine.

Thank you.
Nice to meet you. You, too.

It's a cool place.

Leave it.

Please, just turn off
your Mackey-sense.

What? I need to go
to the bathroom.

Huh? I can't do that?

Not if you're following
those guys.

What guys?

Scout's honor.

Don't threaten
me in my own restaurant.

It's crazy.

Sorry, Dez.

Take it easy, take it easy.

You're gonna get me my money,

and I'm not gonna ask twice.

You understand? Yes!

You dragged me
all the way over here

to look at a velocipede?

Oh, my God, I hate being
a millennial.

That's a penny-farthing.
And no, I dragged you over here

because I overheard Aubrey's
partner Chad in the kitchen.

He was being threatened
by that guy with the, uh,

the hand tattoo.

How'd you see all that
from the bathroom?

I feel like you're grabbing
onto the wrong details here.

I feel like you said

you wouldn't follow those guys,
but you lied,

and now your little
Boy Scout pants are on fire.

Chad is in trouble,
I'm telling you.

Introducing your main course

for this evening:

a 2001 vintage agneau rôti...

Ah, yeah... he looks

pretty messed up.

I swear he had a knife to
his throat three minutes ago.

Are you really this bored, Mac?

No. I-I just don't want anyone
to get hurt.

It happened, Dez.
I'll prove it.

I take it you've never worked
in a restaurant before.

Knife to the throat is nothing.

A sous-chef tried to stuff
me in a pizza oven once.

Look, if you're in trouble,
we can help you. I appreciate your concern,

but I'm fine.

I know you're friends of Aubrey's,
so I'll let it slide this time, but...

please, stay out of my kitchen.

What? I'm not being
paranoid. Am I?

Paranoid about what?

Where'd you come from? Nothing.

You sure?

Everything is cool? We're great.

Everything's great.Okay.

Hey, thanks for keeping up
your covers back there.

I know it's a lot to ask.

We got your back, Riles.
Okay? And as far

as Aubrey's concerned,
we're just a normal,

boring-ass couple
on a boring-ass date.

You guys are gonna screw
this up for me, aren't you?

Never.

It's fine.

I'll meet you guys at the table.
If you'll excuse me.

All right.

Normal, huh?

Chad would like
to invite you all

to an exclusive sampling
of delicacies

in the tasting room.

Sounds amazing. You two go ahead.
I'll wait for Desi.

Okay.
All right. Right this way.

Psst. Psst.
Bro-ski.

Got some contraband for you.

These fancy places,
they never feed you right.

Tell me about it.
Bless you, sir.

Bad date, right?

I'm stuck with a dud
on my hands, too.

Uh, no. Actually, my
girlfriend's amazing.

Sorry, Mac.

MacGYVER:
I'm out of practice

with the whole dating thing.

I-I just feel like I can't
relax and I'm blowing it.

I hear you, dude.
Listen, I blew it permanently.

I'm divorced.
Now I'm dating, too.

Speed dating,
Internet, slow dating.

Anything, anything to...

not be alone on a Friday night.

You know?

Where's Aubrey and Riley? In the tasting room.

We're supposed
to be meeting them.

You want some of this? I heard

silenced gunshots through
the vent in the bathroom.

You're hilarious. No, you were right,
something's up.

I get it, Dez.
You're messing with me.

Look at me.

This is my serious face.

It's your everything face.

Sorry. I know what I heard,
okay?

We need to check it out. Okay, fine.
Now who's being paranoid?

We need to create a distraction
to clear the kitchen.

Let me borrow your cell phone. I told you

I didn't bring it.

Looks like somebody snuck their
cell phone out of the glove box.

Looks like somebody
who just accused

another person of sneaking
their phone out of a glove box

also snuck... you know what,
forget it, I'm too hungry.

Okay, we have about two minutes
before the chocolate melts...

and the lithium in the battery

mixes with the oxygen
in the air,

causing it to catch fire.

Try not to burn down
the whole place.

Oh. I'm so sorry.

There you go.

Excuse me, sir, that
woman's purse appears

to be smoking. We got a 10-70
in the dining room.

Copy that. On my way.

Ma'am, get up, get up now.
Come on, get up.

Watch out!

It's burning!

Come on!

Hey.

Look. Huh?

That's pretty good.Mmm...

This place is amazing.

I just don't get why you didn't
tell me you were a co-owner.

Ah.

To be honest, I was afraid.

Why?

I... I just wanted
to make sure it succeeded

before I told you.

I didn't want you to ever
associate me with failure.

Ever since I've met you, I...

Oh, my God, I can't explain it...

I...

I want adventure,

I want to do something big.

So I decided to...
take a crazy risk

and... invest in a restaurant.

I'm attracted to you...

not your success.

Okay?

Okay.

No more secrets, I promise.

There's... there's something
I should tell you, too.

I... I...

If I have to hear

another speech about
your relationship,

I'm shooting everybody
in this room...

including myself. Uh, if it's money you want...

we don't have it.

What I want

is a cigarette.

What I need
is for you to shut up.

I'm Donovan, by the way.

I'm Chad's
other business partner.

More of a, uh...

a silent partner, really...

Till Chad stole $2 million
of my money.

I-I don't know anything
about that.

You see,
Chad says he has the money

in a restaurant account,
and that you control access.

Either you return my money...

or I'm gonna kill
the love of your life.

Look, I'll get you the money.

But-but I just need

my Forta-Key to access

the account, and it's,
uh, it's at home.

Why didn't you just call it

a "security device," huh?

Lead the way. Come on.

Watch your fingers.

Well, looks like
the trail ends here.

I told you.

I swear I didn't know
anything about this.

Yeah. I believe you.

What is that?

I boosted the big guy's phone.

The scary guy with the gun?

You stole his phone? Yes.

Where did you learn
to pickpocket a phone?

High school.
Oh.

Ran with the wrong crowd.

What-what are you doing?

I'm using the edge

of the scissor jack
to cut the ropes.

Also high school.

I can't find Aubrey and Riley.

And the guy with
the hand tattoo's gone. Well, that can't be

a coincidence. We need
to call the cops.Yeah.

Hey! You
can't be in here!

Get out of the way!

Show me your hands!

LAPD, off duty.

At least we were. Put your hands up

and step away from the body.

This is not what it looks like.

It looks like you're about to
be under arrest for murder.

Yeah.

I'm in.

Let me guess.

Juvey.

I'm kidding.

Are you texting the police?

No, I'm texting Mac.

Mac?

He's an engineer...
What's he gonna do?

Build something that's
gonna get us out of trouble?

You'd be surprised.

Look, we'll give you
our boss's number.

You can call him.

He'll explain everything. Great, we can

do that down at the station
while you're sitting

in the cell next to a guy
with no pants on.

Look, if you think that scares
me, you're absolutely right.

I looked everywhere.

There's no sign
of their friends.

We told you they're in trouble.

Homicide's ten minutes out.

Good.

Come here.

Once those detectives get here,

they're gonna keep us in
interrogation for hours.

Yeah, and whoever took Aubrey
and Riley will be long gone.

Hey, lovebirds,
you might want to shut it

till you get a lawyer.Aw.

He thinks we're lovebirds,
that's so cute.

We are definitely not lovebirds.

She'd much rather
spend the evening

cage-fighting with
her MMA girlfriends

than hang out with me.

You're picking a
fight right now?

I most certainly am, Desiree.

Maybe it's because
I don't want to sit

on the couch all day
watching Rick and Morty!

Do not speak ill of him. Who?

Rick Sanchez from Earth
dimension C-137.

No one should know that
much about a cartoon!

It's called adult animation!

So sorry about this.

Whew.

Damn it, it's happening again.

Are you as turned on as I am?

Yeah.

It's Riley.

S-O-S, we need
to go find help now.

Come on.
Perfect timing.

Yes, just perfect.

My mother and I both
had our obsessions.

Mine was money, hers was
Margaret Thatcher paraphernalia.

I think they were
a desperate attempt

to fill the hole
that my father left.

My dear papa...

Hey, Taylor, I've
got Mac on the phone

for you.
Ooh.

Should I come back? Oh, no.

It's all right.

Angus, tell me everything.

Start with the first course.

Okay, so Riley
and Aubrey were kidnapped

by a guy named Donovan.

In his 40s, Caucasian.

He has a snake tattoo
on his right hand.

He's taking them to their
apartment... I need you

to find out anything
and everything that you can

about this guy. Wait, seriously?

Yes!

On it.

♪ Let 'em say we're crazy

♪ I don't care about that

♪ Put your hand in my hand

♪ Baby, don't ever look back

♪ Let the world around us...

Wow, you can butter me up

all you want, I still want

my $2 million.

It was for her.

Eva,

standard lights, music off.

Man, everything about this place

bothers me.

Where's your security thing?

It's in my laptop case.

Here.

You got five minutes.

You try anything, she dies.

Just like your boy Chad.

Let's go, come on.

Aubrey?

Is something wrong?

The money's gone.

I-I swear it was
in there yesterday.

Chad must have
emptied the account.

Then you're of no use to me.

Eva,

search the Web
for the best place

to dispose of bodies
in Los Angeles.

Oh, God, no!

- No, no...
- What do you guys think?

Oh, God, no! Huh, Lu?

Bathtub?

Give me ten minutes and
I'll have your $2 million.

I don't know.

Lu, what do you think?

I'm a hacker.

I go by Artemis37.

I've broken into the NSA.

China.

Ever heard of a nasty
little bug called Cannibal?

That was me.

So wherever Chad hid the money,

I guarantee I can find it.

Hmm.

You got ten minutes.

Riley...

Hey, guys,
what's taking so long?

Well, it's just me
and Bozer here.

Matty isn't even picking up.

And even though
it is a Friday evening,

I find that a bit peculiar,
don't you think?

Taylor, focus!

Okay, CCTV from the restaurant

shows Riley and Aubrey
being forced into the trunk

of a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle,

registered to one
Donovan James O'Malley,

a notorious enforcer
for the Triads.

Yeah, that's the guy
who threatened Chad.

- What? That's the whitest guy I've ever seen.
- Hang on.

I thought you said I was
the whitest guy you'd ever seen. What I mean is,

why is this guy working for
the Chinese Mafia?

Ah, well, the pursuit

of love does make people
a little bit insane.

Donovan married his high school
sweetheart, Jennifer Kwok.

Daughter of Hong Kong's
brutal Triad leader.

Looks like Donovan rose

through the ranks after
that, carrying out hits.

If Aubrey is in trouble
with the Triads,

we are going to need
all the help that we can get.

No argument there.

Apparently Donovan
likes fingers.

As in, collecting them
as trophies.

You know, my wife used
to have that same nail polish.

What is that, Metallic Maven?

Titanium Temptress?

Metallic Maven.

Huh. RILEY: Looks like Chad

opened an offshore account
in the Caymans.

These are some of the most
secure banks in the world.

It's gonna take a minute.

That's their place.

I'll do some recon. No need.

Riley just did it for us.

She hacked their smart TV.

I knew those things
were watching us.

It's the Illuminati.

I told you.
What?

No. Looks like if we
go through that window,

they won't see us.

Yeah, but since they're armed,

we shouldn't go in empty-handed.

This might get gross.

If I had a dime for every

date night that ended
with that warning.

MacGYVER: The key elements
to any great distraction

are sound and light...
Ping-Pong balls are shaped

by soaking sheets of celluloid
in a hot alcohol solution,

which makes the material
extremely flammable.

By creating a fuse out of
butane and a coffee filter,

you have a recipe for
the perfect distraction.

Ticktock, ticktock.

Yeah, I'm working on it.

Look... I'm in.

I just need the account numbers

for the transfer.

Okay.

What took you so long?

Desi and I got arrested.

It was a whole thing.

Who are you guys?

I'm an engineer. Language specialist.

Come on. MacGYVER: Riley,

you want to take this?

Yeah.

Aubrey, the thing is,
we're actually...

Donovan,

you are one knuckle-dragging,
mouth-breathing,

sorry excuse for a human man.

I'm here for my $2 million.

Wait, I-I was stealing

her money?

Hello, Jennifer.

You going door-to-door
for the Antichrist again?

J-Jennifer Kwok?

Unfortunately, the kraken in
the high heels is my wife.

Soon-to-be ex-wife.

And heiress to the entire
Triad organization.

That's right.

And I want... my... money.

Heard you were
laundering millions

through the restaurant
so I wouldn't get it

in the divorce settlement.

How'd you find out?

You sold me out?

This is all just
a next-level alimony battle.

That one's a hacker.

She can get you the money.

The $2 million

in my account now
or I start shooting,

starting with your knees.

Kneecaps?

Well, that's original. JENNIFER:
Are you serious?

Kneecaps? What,
you prefer I do what I did

to those guys in Jamaica? Oh, the guys in Jamaica.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ones you were
meeting down there.

When's backup arriving?

Russ said he's working on it.

Oh, Russ. Let me guess,
he's a language specialist, too.

We can try to stall, but I can only
say "two more minutes" so many times.

A hotel room?! Yes, they do! In Jamaica!

Wait for my signal.

What signal? What?

MacGYVER: Hey, guys,
I think it's in everybody's best interest

that we remain calm.

I am calm.

It's better for my aim.
Pick one,

left or right.

Mac, what are you doing?

I get it.

I do.

Relationships
are... hard.

Sometimes,
we-we lie to ourselves,

say that everything's okay.

Sometimes the trust
that we once had

is gone forever.

And sometimes,

no matter how much you think
you want to be with someone,

you can't seem to make it work.

Hey, Dr. Phil.

Sit down or I'll blow off
both kneecaps.

How long?

Hmm?
Uh, oh, uh...

uh...

Two minutes.

Final warning.

Sit.
Right.

One last piece of advice:

in any relationship,

in the immortal words
of my favorite pump-up jam,

you have to...

get your booty on the floor.

Tonight. Eva,
lights out!

♪ Get your booty on the floor

♪ Tonight, make my day

♪ I don't want a place to stay

♪ Make my day, make my day

Eva,

lights on.

Okay,

who the hell are you people?

LAPD! Put your hands up!

Hands where we can see 'em!
Hands!

MacGYVER:
Listen,

if you can call my boss,
he'll explain everything.

Don't worry!

They already have.

I made quite a convincing case
for your innocence.

Despite you
not inviting me to dinner.

So,

how was date night?

So, you're like, uh...

Simon Pegg

in Mission: Impossible.

Right?

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.

All those work trips, you were
taking down guys like Donovan?

Or worse.

So that's why you come home
all kind of, um...

broken.

You really like this life?

You know what?

I love it.

And the secrets and the lies?

A necessary evil.

That part, I hate.

Me, too.

♪ Warm days

♪ But the light is gone...

I was thinking
about what you said.

No matter how much you want
to be with someone,

you just can't seem
to make it work.

We've had a lot of chances,
haven't we?

Yeah.

Just kind of seems
like we're only really good

when things are really bad.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

Maybe...

we're just not normal.

♪ Hold on

Good night, Mac.

But maybe...

that's our thing.

I mean, who wants to be
a normal, boring,

static couple anyways?

Especially when we
can just be us.

For what it's worth,

there's no one else I'd rather
go on a terrible date with.

Me neither.

♪ Our nights

♪ All our dark skies

♪ Will you hold on?

♪ We'll make up

♪ Hold on

♪ If you don't

♪ Hold on.

Why...

Riles.

Hey.

Aubrey ended it.

Couldn't stay at his place, and
I didn't know where else to go.

So...

I'm so sorry.

Well, you're more than
welcome to stay here as long

as you want.

Hungry?

You have no idea.

I know
that it's impossible, but...

this whole thing
has me spinning.

I mean,
the state of the world today.

The DXS of it all. And...

I can't explain it,
but I just...

I feel like she's out there,

like it's her,

somehow.

And then there's this.

They call themselves Codex.

Matty, uh, I want you to look
into something called...

File 47.

File 47?

What is that?

It's the end of the world.

Captioning sponsored by CBS