MacGyver (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Roulette Wheel + Wire - full transcript

MacGYVER: I told you not
to make the first "S" so big.

That's why you ran out of rocks.

When's the last time
you saw a small "SOS"?

You got to be able
to see it from above.

That's the whole point.

It's go big or don't go home.

Yeah, well, right now,

it's just "S-O" and
a tiny little squiggle.

It looks like the formula
for sulfur dioxide.

JACK: What rescue pilot

you think saw my sign



and went, "Hey,

"those fellas down there,

they need some sulfur dioxide."

Oh, what pilot are
you talking about?

There's not a plane
out there, is there?

Why are you hating
on me right now, huh?

I-Is it because

I already finished my sign?

And you've been in
here building on this thing

for, like, three days now?

I'd like to see
you build a radio

in the middle of nowhere,
using only snowmobile parts.

Maybe I will.

Huh. Maybe next time,



I'll make the survival tea.

This sucks.

Okay. Okay. Look at this.

Twigs. There's wood in here.

What is this, tree bark flavor?

Okay.

The radio is actually
almost finished,

I just need one tiny
little piece of metal

to bridge these two resistors.

So it needs to be round,
uh, a few millimeters wide.

Hey, let's use a
piece of that watch.

Whoa.

(chuckles): Okay, I
see how it is. Yeah.

It's okay to submerge
my phone in a shark tank

or snap my expensive
sunglasses in half to save the world,

but when our little butt-sicles

depend on taking apart a
piece of your personal property,

we've crossed the line?

Jack, if it was just...

just my watch,

you know I'd use
it in a heartbeat.

You know that.

But I'm pretty sure my
dad left it for a reason,

so that I could find it and
use it to somehow find him.

I don't doubt that, but there is

no hope of finding him

if we don't get out of here.

Yeah.

Wait. Jack.

Grab that light right
there. Come here.

Grab that light
right there. Please.

I think I found something.

Please.

See, that gear,
right there. Huh?

It's-it's newer than
the rest of the watch.

Am I crazy or...?

There's something
written on it, right there.

This could be the
clue to finding my dad.

Yeah, and it could be
a weird piece of metal

with a bunch of numbers on it.

But we're never gonna know

if we freeze to death out here.

Come on, Mac.

I can't feel my butt.

(whispers): I-I can't feel it.

I can't feel it.

Okay, okay.

(shivering)

(grunts)

(static crackles)

Mayday.

This is Firebird Seven.
Assistance required.

Anyone receiving?

(static crackles)

Mayday. This is Firebird Seven.

Anyone receiving?

MATTY: Took you
guys long enough.

(both laugh) Hold tight.

Rescue choppers are
homing in on your signal.

Patching you through now.
MAN: Copy that, Phoenix.

We're almost at your...
Does that say "S-O, comma"?

MATTY: Dalton made the
distress signal, didn't he?

What gave it away? (laughs)

(laughs hysterically)

♪ ♪

(groans)

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, my eyes.

Why didn't anyone tell me
that Jack's ass is on the playlist?

Oh, no. Come on,
this is the infirmary,

people, okay? Not a clown car.

Can't a man with frostbutt

get a little privacy, please?

Calm down, Dalton, we're
all one big happy family here.

If we're a happy family,
what does that make Jack?

ALL: Crazy uncle.

Every family has
one. Okay, you know,

I don't have to
take this off y'all,

I'm out of here. Enjoy
the view on the way out.

(yelps) Slow down, cowboy.

This ain't a social call.

We've got work.

Oh, so this is a briefing.

Huh? Right here, right now?

Can we move this
shindig to the war room?

Yeah, well, of course we could.

But where's the fun in that?

Besides, it's not like I
haven't seen it before.

JACK: I'd appreciate it if
we didn't go there, yeah?

MATTY: All right. Thanks to Cage

and her interrogation
of the Ten of Spades,

we have tapped
into a treasure trove

or new intel, including a lead

on the illusive terrorist group,

the Red Fist.

The Red what?

Jack...

Well, I can't hear that
good with my tochis

on full display like this.

She said Red F...
Oh, can you stand up

and put that all away?

Red Fist...

They're a Eastern
European group of radicals

responsible for over

30 deadly attacks
in the last decade.

I thought you said these
guys were terrorists.

They're stealing diamonds.

MATTY: Well, in
the last six weeks,

it appears as though

they've shifted gears,

pulling off a dozen
diamond heists

all across Europe,

hauling in an estimated

$75 million.

And I'm guessing
they're not just gonna

put this money
away so they could

retire someplace sunny, huh?

Sadly, no. The
Ten of Spades says

they want to use
the stolen diamonds

to finance a major attack.

Every relevant detail of
this forthcoming major attack

remains a mystery.

However, what we do know is
where the diamonds themselves

are being held:

in a vault at the
Karabakh Hotel and Casino

in Azerbaijan.

So, if we cut off the funding,
then we stop the attack?

RILEY: So you want us

to break into the casino vault

and steal the diamonds
before Red Fist can use them?

Okay, this assignment
keeps getting better and better.

JACK: Look, anything warmer

than Siberia I
consider a vacation.

Now all I need to do is just
come up with a cool cover name.

Actually, your cover IDs have
already been taken care of.

(tires screeching)

(engine revs)

MATTY: Mac, you will be
going in as Luke Arrington,

an arms dealer
with money to burn.

♪ Think I'll dust 'em off, put
'em back up on the shelf... ♪

Riley, you will
be Emma Castillo,

a notorious drug
lord's girlfriend

who's notorious in her own right

for traveling with
half her wardrobe.

Should make it easy to
sneak in all the gear you'll need

to hack their system.

♪ Might be over now ♪

♪ But I feel it still... ♪

Bozer, you will be Chet Walker,

a money-laundering bad boy

looking to spend
some ill-gotten gains.

Cage, you will be
Francesca Moretti,

heir apparent to a
Sicilian crime family

who may or may not be here
to make someone disappear.

And, Jack, you
will be Ernie Bung,

a disgraced accountant known
for questionable bookkeeping.

Ernie Bung?

Why can't I be Chet Walker?

And a disgraced accountant?

That's just shameful,
that cover name sucks.

It was either that
or a rogue chef

who sells illegal bushmeat.

Backstopped cover identities
don't grow on trees, Dalton.

I didn't know
bushmeat was illegal.

MATTY: Once
you're in the casino,

all Riley will need to do
is clip into the network

to hack their system, a
program called SteelViper,

which will allow her to
tap into security cameras

and learn some guard rotations.

MacGYVER: Well, if Riley
has that kind of access,

it should be just a matter
of distracting the security

long enough to
break into the vault,

scoop the diamonds, then split.

BOZER: Said that
way, sounds super easy.

But I'm still hazy on step one.

How do we clip Riley
into the network?

Got to assume they're
keeping this network

behind some big,
intimidating door

guarded by big,
intimidating men.

MacGYVER: Of course.

But I do think I have an idea.

Hi.

(laughs)

This is so embarrassing.

My boyfriend and I had
a little miscommunication.

We both thought the
other one brought the, um...

(clicks tongue)

♪ I don't know why... ♪

You know what, just
come in, come look.

(chuckles)

♪ Babe... ♪

H-Hey.

Any chance you know
how to pick a lock?

♪ No matter how I try ♪

♪ It's like the more
you give, the more... ♪

(beeping)

Oh, wow, you are good at that.

Honey, you should
see how fast he is.

RILEY: Uh, that-that's great,

babe, I'll be out as
soon as I can, okay?

(chuckles softly)

(grunting): Ooh! Oh!

Hol-Hold on!

(grunts)

Are you okay? Leg cramp.

(MacGyver groaning)

Leg cramp.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

(exhales) There it goes.

Ooh. Wow, you are fast.

(chuckles)

Here you go.

Thank you.

Thanks again.

(door opens, closes)

Okay, Boze, you're up.

JACK: Guys, are you
seeing what I'm seeing?

Hang on, Boze, we got
a new player to the game.

Anybody know who the hottie is

with the security detail

standing in front of the
door we need to get into?

No idea.

Jack, can you get a photo?

Yeah, yeah.

I can do that.

(guard clears throat)

Can I help you, sir?

No, I don't think
so. Can I help you?

CAGE: Uh, Mac? Jack
could use some help.

(grunts)

Ma'am, are you okay?

(chuckles) Boy, you better get out
of my face, that's what you should do.

CAGE: What are you gonna
do with that stun gun, Mac?

MacGYVER: Make someone rich.

(speaking Azerbaijani)

(chiming)

Heh?

(man shouting in Azerbaijani)

Thank you, thank you.

We're in.

Nice work, Boze.

Their SteelViper system

is about to be our
SteelViper system.

Yeah, as a wise man once said,

"All right, all
right, all right."

That was a movie.

(cork bouncing) MacGYVER: Whoa!

Doesn't mean it
wasn't wise, Boze.

Now, relax.

All we got to do
now is sit back,

have a few dranks,

let CSI do her thing.

Do your thing, girl.

MacGYVER: Yeah. I
think you're forgetting

about the part where
we still have to sneak

past security

and crack into a
state-of-the-art vault.

Yeah, I kind of feel like you're
about to jinx this whole thing.

Come on. (laptop buzzes)

Guys, we got a problem.

I don't know

what security system this is,

but it's not SteelViper.

Everything's been upgraded.

Thermal imaging,
biometric scanners,

and worst of all,

the vault's been upgraded, too.

Our whole plan just went bust.

Okay, so I guess we abort.

No.

We improvise.

RILEY: All six
walls are titanium.

The tumblers, the dial,

the locking bolts,
also titanium.

Two sets of re-lockers,

cable-triggered and thermal,

both titanium,

and as if that wasn't enough,
the whole thing is encased in...

Let me guess, more titanium.

No. It's M-rated
ballistic plate armor.

Way stronger than titanium.

So this vault could withstand
a direct hit from a tank.

Actually, it could
withstand a nuclear blast.

BOZER: So, now for
the good news, right?

Sure.

If by "good news" you
mean more bad news.

The casino's entire network
has also been upgraded.

I can access the cameras,

but I can't hack
into anything else

without setting off alarms.

Oh, and the clone key card

doesn't work in the
basement where the vault is,

so, now, we need a
nine-digit access code.

Which changes every
30 seconds, by the way.

And a way to get
past the iris scanner.

JACK: So it sounds like
breaking into this vault's

gonna be impossible.

Well, we're just gonna
have to do the impossible

because we just intercepted
intel that those diamonds

are gonna be used
to purchase a WMD.

Okay, I'm sorry, guys,

I don't want to pick apart
the way you guys do things,

but why didn't we know

about any of these upgrades

before we came
all the way out here?

Well, it looks like they all
happened in the last two weeks,

after the casino brought
in a new head of security.

Oh, great, we
just ID that asshat,

I'll go thank him personally.

Actually, you already IDed her.

JACK: Oh, did I?

RILEY: I ran facial recognition

and she popped up
in Phoenix's database.

BOZER: "Vera Kazakova,

"former GRU officer

and expert interrogator."

With some serious
demons in her closet.

She went into private security

after more than a
decade as a Russian spy.

And no one gets into
the vault without her.

She gets a nine-digit code

for the basement doors,

on a 2FA app on
her encrypted phone.

And only her iris
gets past the scanner.

I actually think I know how to
get the codes off of her phone.

Dude, is that my phone?

Maybe. Well,
you're just gonna go

stealing it and breaking it?
You ain't even gonna ask for it

no more? Just break it.
MacGYVER: You'll get over it.

Okay, stealing the
codes is a good start.

Anybody got a
way to steal her iris?

Ooh, me. I do, I do. I
saw this flick one time,

where the hero rips the
bad dude's eyeball out.

They scan that... Uh, Jack,

I don't think that was the hero.

And we don't need to rip out
anyone's eyeball. I'm spitballing.

Just get me a high-res,
close-up photo of Vera's iris

and I could probably
get us past the scanner.

It's hard to get a close-up
if you can't even get close.

If we're gonna get near Vera,

we're gonna have to
peel off her linebackers.

Anyone got any ideas?

Not off the top of my head,

but I'm sure you'll
come up with something.

JACK: The only
thing left to do here

is figure out which one of
us is gonna get close to her.

Ah, hey-hey, back off, Boze.

I've been picking up hot chicks

since the third
grade, all right?

CAGE: Oy vey. Just lucky
for everybody in this room,

we got a Jack Dalton.

Are we seriously betting

this entire mission
on Jack's ability to flirt?

Double down.

(roulette wheel spinning)

MacGYVER: So, you figured
out how to get rid of those two yet?

'Cause if I make one
more machine hit a jackpot,

Vera's gonna get suspicious.

Actually, I'm counting on

her getting suspicious.

Show me what's in your pocket.

I have no idea.

Take him downstairs.

And don't call me
till you get the truth.

RILEY: Okay, Jack.

Just remember,

"Howdy" isn't as endearing
an opener as you think.

This woman sniffed out liars

professionally for a decade.

Oh.

And that guard Cage just framed

was just taken down to a
basement level with no cameras.

Which is probably where you'll
be taken if you screw this up,

so... have fun.

Thanks for all the tips on
how to pick up women, Riley.

I'll try to pay
attention next time.

Just sit back,
relax. I got this.

(clears throat)

Howdy.

"Howdy"?

Howdy-do?

(chuckles) You, uh...

you look like a woman
who knows what she wants.

(chuckles) I am.

But I haven't seen
anything that I want.

Yet.

Oh, well, y-you must've
just missed this guy,

over here, playing blackjack.

Good-looking fella,
he's... probably your type.

Well, let me guess:
glasses, well-tailored suit,

and a smile that
would make me swoon?

Well, swoon's a bit much, but
he does have all his teeth, yeah.

How's our boy doing?

Disturbingly well. Yeah.

I'm just creeped out he used
these lines to pick up my mom.

Oh, so Jack's the crazy uncle

no one wants at
the family gatherings.

Sadly, very accurate.

And Matty's the mom.

MacGyver and Boze
are clearly the brothers.

Truth.

And Riley's the
rebellious little sister.

You want to see
rebellious? Keep talking.

MacGYVER: Well,

that sums up everyone
in our little family.

Everyone except for you.

All right, almost there, Jack.

Just a little closer.

We need a clean
shot of the entire iris

for this to work, so she has
to be looking right at you.

So, do you get hungry?

I mean, you got to eat, right?

I was thinking about
strapping on the old feed bag.

We could continue this
over dinner if you'd like.

I'm working, sorry. Yeah.

Well, that's a shame

'cause I was in the
mood for something fancy.

Oh, yeah, and what
do you consider fancy?

Oh, Swiss on my burger
instead of cheddar.

(soft chuckle)

Maybe some of that
overpriced French mustard.

(beeps)

Boom! We got an eyeball. Bozer?

Two custom contact
lenses coming up.

You're about to be a
brown-eyed girl, Cage.

MacGYVER: Nice work,
lover boy, but we still need

the nine-digit code off of
her cell; and the cell site

simulator I built
from your phone

only has enough power to
work at a very close range.

You know, there
is a Michelin-rated

steak house in here.

We could hop over
there real quick...

Play whatever game
you want in my casino,

but never gamble
more than you can lose.

The risk might be
worth the reward.

MacGYVER: No, like, very close.

(inaudible whispering)

My man here tells me that

you snapped a picture
of me earlier today.

Well, nobody likes a
tattletale, but yeah, I'll admit it.

I got a picture of the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen

in my life.

Then you've seen enough.

Fair enough.

If she walks now, we
might not get another chance

to steal that PIN.

Jack, you got to get your hand
within six inches of her phone.

My card, in case you
change your mind.

I never sleep, you can, uh...

call me any time.

(beeps)

(digital trilling) RILEY:
Cloning her phone.

Getting the algorithm
for the codes.

VERA: I doubt I'll need it.

Mister...?

Bung.

Ernie Bung.

Bung?

It's-It's a family name. Ah.

Oh, my God, Mac, I think
I'm in love for reals, dude.

After we rob this
woman's casino blind,

I'm going for it, off the books.

You know, officially
unofficial, bro.

BOZER: How those
contacts feeling?

Mm.

Considerably more comfortable

than some disguises
I've worn. All right, Cage,

just finished looping
the camera feeds.

Casino security won't
be able to see you.

MacGYVER: Once
you're through the door,

I'll talk you through
cracking the vault.

Okay, there's the new code.

You got 30 seconds to input it.

(beeping)

(digital trilling)

(beeps)

(alarm sounding)

Cage, get out of there now.

Cage, can you hear me?

Cage... Hey, don't move!

(door latch opens,
footsteps approach)

That's a nice dress.

What were you doing in
the basement of my hotel?

(with Sicilian accent):
What is your name?

Can you take these cuffs off?

Do you know who my father is?

This level's soundproofed.

There are no cameras and
nobody knows that you're down here,

so it doesn't really
matter who your daddy is.

(lock buzzes, latch clicks)

I will ask again,

what were you doing

in the basement of my hotel?

I was looking for the bathroom.

And I must have
accidentally wandered

into the basement of your hotel.

The restricted area
where we found you, Miss...

Moretti,

has multiple layers

of sophisticated security.

It's an exceedingly
difficult place

to just wander into.

Just let me call my father.

He is clearing this
misunderstanding.

(sighs)

Give me my phone!

You're a liar.

You know how I know?

The truth...

is in your eyes.

(grunts)

The iris scanner

is linked to my phone's GPS.

When my phone and my eye

weren't in the same place, the
system knew you weren't me.

No one gets past
my security alone.

So, after you tell me
who you really are,

you're gonna tell me
who you're working with.

I can't find her.

Looks like they're keeping
her in the basement.

The floor without cameras?
Maybe Cage was right.

Should've listened when
she said we should abort.

What? Ab... come
on, no. Stop it now.

Nobody get discouraged
or we're done for good.

We've dug ourselves

out of deeper holes
than this before.

We're gonna be fine.

Now, we'll just use
whatever gadget you whip up

to crack the vault,

and we'll use the same
thing to bust Cage out, too.

MATTY: We'll worry
about Cage later.

Getting the diamonds
before the Red Fist can

trade them for a
WMD is our priority.

I agree with you, Matty,
but now that Vera knows

someone's trying to
break into her vault,

she's beefed up security.

What was once impossible
is now "impossibler."

That's not a word.

Huh? But you're right.

Going through that door
is no longer an option.

Well, if the front door is out,

why don't we try the back door?

The nine-digit code
isn't the only thing

I pulled off Vera's phone.

These are blueprints for all
her recent security updates.

Does that look like a secret
passageway to anyone else?

JACK: More like
a VIP passageway.

All big hotel casinos have 'em

so the big ballers can bounce
in and out of the penthouse

when things get messy.

And things do get
messy in a penthouse,

let me tell you. Yeah, I heard.

Jack has a story
about one of these

I do not want to hear.

Hey... the passageway.

It bypasses security, and
it runs alongside the vault.

It looks like our
luck is changing.

The hotel's booking system says

the penthouse
is empty. Let's go.

(door buzzes) Give me a
list of everyone that arrived

30 minutes before and
after she checked in.

I want intel on everyone
that she talked to,

gambled with or even looked at.

Find the man who gave me this.

(elevator bell dings)

RILEY (over radio): Housekeeping
finished the penthouse

two hours ago.

You should have the
place to yourselves.

Oh, yeah.

(glasses clinking)

Man, this is gonna be easy. Shh.

And now we know why
this suite wasn't booked.

They're using it for an
off-the-books VIP poker game.

Gunner Snyder.

Beef jerky king of Oklahoma.

I'm sure you've heard of me.

Especially you, big man.

You look like a meat eater.

JACK: This here's, uh,

my manservant, Randy.

His friends all
call him Squeaky.

Say hi there, Squeaky.

Hey there.

Why'd Jack change his cover ID?

Uh, probably because

dudes named Ernie Bung
don't hang with high rollers.

Yeah, well, dudes like Gunner
Snyder don't even exist yet.

Phoenix needs to backfill
a whole new cover, fast.

You know, my mouth's
getting a little dry there, Squeak.

Why don't we sprinkle
the infield, huh?

(chuckles): All right.

What's the buy-in, slick?

The buy-in is 500, sir.

Ooh, five hundy?

A little lightweight for
a super secret game

up in the penthouse,
ain't it, boys?

$500,000, sir.

Yeah, that's, uh...

th-that's a good
warm-up, good idea.

Tell you what, uh, Randell,

why don't you call that bank,
free up some loose change?

Think I'll jump in here.

(phone beeps)

Yeah, it's Randy.

Uh, I'm afraid Mr. Snyder's
playing poker again.

Faster, people. This
ID needs to be rock-solid

five minutes ago.

And I need $500K in
a Swiss account now.

Jack, if you survive
this, I'm gonna kill you.

Of course, now,
we, uh, you know,

we do, uh, we do
all the favorites.

We got your, uh, mesquite,
your teriyaki, your habanero.

But our best seller and
my personal favorite...

Salted molasses bourbon jerky.

I know it sounds weird,
but I'm gonna have Squeaky

set you guys up with some
samples and an address

where to send thank-you cards.

You know what I mean,
my man? (chuckles)

So, where, exactly,
is this hidden door?

Should be near the
middle of the west wall.

This isn't really a
"pull on it till you find it"

kind of room... Can
you be more specific?

Looks like the door
is pressure-release,

held shut by a magnetic latch.

Any of that help, Mac?

Actually, it does.
Found a magnet.

Now I just need to
make a compass.

What is that?

Blam.

Full house.

Ooh...

Almost had you there. (chuckles)

Though, you know where
it really gets interesting

is when you start to get
into those novelty meats.

I'm not talking about baby
seal, anything like that,

but have you had ostrich?

You ever had the big bird?

Ostrich jerky... it'll
change your life, big man.

Can I get a dry martini?

Stirred, not shaken.

Thanks.

(keypad beeping)

(beeping)

She arrived at
11:37 this morning,

and this is everyone
who entered 30 minutes

before and after her. This
man, where is he now?

Facial recognition last flagged
him on the penthouse level.

Damn, again?!

What is that, like, 90 grand?

Kojak, throw in the
Tootsie Pop, babe,

you're killing it.

Me, on the other hand,
I feel like I'm starting

to tread water in the shallow
end, you know what I mean?

Doing the old... (chuckles)

You know, fun fact.

You know the one breed
of dog that can't swim?

Huh? Nobody?

(quietly): Found the door.

Now I just need to slip
through before any...

Chihuahua, taped
to a cinder block.

Good afternoon, all.

I trust everyone's
enjoying the game?

Is there a problem,
Ms. Kazakova?

Oh, no, not at all.

I just like to sneak up
and play a few hands

when things are
quiet on the floor.

Or when something more
exciting is happening up here.

(sighs)

I thought you were
going to dinner.

Hmm. Uh...

Well, I'm a man
of many appetites.

I can see that.

I'm sorry, what was your
name again, Mister...?

Ernie. Ernie.

But my friends... They,
they call me Gunner.

I'd like to meet these friends.

(Vera and Jack chuckle)

Raise 200,000.

(chuckles)

(clears throat)

I'm all in. (pats table loudly)

How about we play for something

worth more than money?

Okay.

What do you have in mind?

I found something.

Actually, I borrowed
something from your friend.

And I don't think
she's the only one

that you have in my casino.

Actually, I think one
of them is with us now,

right here in this room.

(grunting)

Riley, I'm headed down,
but Vera's got Jack.

RILEY: He'll be all right.

He's Jack.

Just get to the vault.

Okay, I'm almost there.

Once I get to the vault, I'll
probably need 30 minutes

to crack...

RILEY: Mac?
Everything all right?

Can you get to the vault?

Yeah, I can. I just...

I don't need to anymore.
The Red Fist is here,

and they have the diamonds.

JACK: This is not
what I'm talking about.

I said what I want...

wanted a room upgrade, I
was talking about a balcony,

a Jacuzzi tub and...

God... and...

a little more privacy.

I mean, seriously,
come on, come on.

(handcuffs click) Ow! So tight?

What, they get you for
snapping selfies, too,

there, cheerleader?

What'd you call me?

I was looking for the bathroom.

The signage in this place is...

The what? Tragedy.

The... signs? The sign...

Shut up.

You will identify your team,

or it will get
really unpleasant.

It's already unpleasant.

Team? That's...

There's no team. VERA: Shut up!

All right,

you recognize anyone?

JACK (chuckles): '70s hair.

No, don't know her.

Better hair game, but no.

Ooh, wish I did.

Uh, hmm...

Didn't he write the
music for Jaws?

What about him?

Skinny little blond guy?

Never seen him before.

This man was in the penthouse
suite with the sausage king.

Go find him.

It's not sausage, okay?

It's beef jerky.

I'm the beef jerky king.

Get it right. (door buzzes open)

Thank you very much.

Beef jerky king?

Seriously? Hey, I was
hungry, I was put on the spot.

It's the only thing
I could think of.

Okay, all right?

Hey. I think I know
a way out of this.

RILEY (over radio): Mac,
I've got Red Fist on the move.

Once they leave the
casino, I can tag their vehicles

and task a satellite
to track 'em.

Guys, I don't think
they're leaving.

No, they're not.
They're going up.

What'd they forget to pack?

Riley, can you track

that elevator?

Hey, I didn't touch anything.

No, i-it wasn't you.
Security must have found us

in the system and
kicked us off the network.

(elevator bell dings)

Riley, is now
really the best time

to check out what's
on pay-per-view?

I'm locked out of
the security cams,

but there's more than one
way to see what's happening

in a hotel.

Okay, so we're
clear on the plan?

Cage, this isn't the first
time I've done this, okay?

What, being
handcuffed in a casino

or what we're about to do?

Both.

So, I'm gonna need
a little bit of room,

so you might want to
make yourself scarce...

Back up there.

(chair scraping loudly)

Like that?

Yeah, that's good.

Cool.

(grunting)

Help! Help!

Oh, my God. He's dying.

(grunting)

The head strikes again.

(Jack laughs)

Ooh, ooh, yeah,
I want a gun, too.

Check and see if he brought
enough for the entire class.

Cuff keys.

Later. Come on.

You call this a gun?

(grunts)

(sighs)

Riley, I'm on 49.

Means Red Fist is on the 50th.

We need eyes up there.

Any luck getting
the cameras back?

No, but I found some new ones.

Let me scan the 50th floor.

Checkout time, kids.

Right now. Let's go, let's go.

Cool, but we can't leave
without all of our luggage.

The diamonds and the Red Fist

are on the 50th floor.

Which is swarming with
heavily armed guards.

I got eyes again, Mac.

I couldn't get into the security
cams, so I gave myself access

to the built-in cameras
in every hotel TV.

That's kind of creepy. Yeah.

No, that's creepy.

Right there, that's creepy.

Mac, the sale is
going down right now.

The WMD the Red Fist
is buying is in the hotel.

There. That must be it.

All right, Mac, we're looking at

at least seven
unfriendlies here, man.

As much as I'm a fan o-of
charging in there headlong,

I don't think the front door

is such a good choice here, man.

No door?

No problem.

I'll just take the window.

The win... yeah, fine, whatever.

Okay, we're in
position and read...

(blows hair) ready.

Do your thing, Spider-Mac.

(grunting)

MacGYVER: You guys
should probably cover your ears.

(man grunts)

(grunting)

(device beeps)

(device beeping rhythmically)

JACK: Is that
what I think it is?

MacGYVER: A
nuclear weapon? Yeah.

Just a baby one. (groans)

It's only half a megaton or so.

Adorable. Can you disarm it?

Uh... yeah, if I had
a couple of hours.

Well, what if you had 14
minutes and 37 seconds?

Yeah. 36.

35. I'll think of something.

Four... three... two...

Probably.

Shots fired. Lock
down the building.

RILEY: Guys, Vera is
locking the place down.

Whatever you're doing, I suggest
you avoid the lobby entirely.

Okay, once we get the
nuke to the lobby, what then?

We-We get it outside?

We can't take it outside.

It may just be a suitcase nuke,

but it'll still kill everyone
within five city blocks.

Hmm, only five.

We can't disarm it,

can't take it outside,
can't leave it here.

I must be missing the plan.

Yeah, yeah, that
makes two of us.

Oh, come on. (pounds wall)

Mac, please tell
me you have a plan.

I have a plan.

Just... I'm not sure
if it's gonna work.

Mm.

My plan.

You said the vault could
withstand a nuclear blast.

I'm hoping it can
also contain one.

I also remember you
saying busting in here

was gonna take you
at least a half hour.

Yeah, well, we got seven
minutes and 49 seconds.

Well, is that enough time?

At this point, we have no
choice but to roll the dice.

JACK: Roll the dice?

Bingo.

Wha... I think you mean
"jackpot"; we're in a casino.

Shh!

We're in a casino.

Plug this in right there.

Jack,

stand those two roulette
wheels on their side

with the metal tops facing
each other, about an inch apart.

Like this?

That? And then, uh, yeah,
take that, put it in between these.

Mac, how is
whatever this thing is

gonna get us in there?

Well, how much
do you know about...

Lorentz forces?
Never heard of it.

Well, they're
really interesting.

Yeah, to who?

MacGYVER: See, the
slot machines feed current

to the roulette wheels,

which acts as a giant
capacitor storing a charge.

You know what? Time's ticking. I'll
take your word for it. Yeah, I'm with her.

Well, good thing I'm done.
So, let's get out of here.

Move back.

You trying to die? Get
out of there. No, no.

Maybe you didn't do it right.

(explosion booms)

Never mind.

Mac, did you just...

Shrink the metal? Yeah.

(Cage laughs)

(grunts)

Let's go, let's go.
Less than a minute.

(grunts)

Oh.

Hey.

Hey, Jack. Jack.

We don't have to blow
up all this cash doing it.

Let's take some. Jack.

Hey, I'm taking it.

It's hazard pay.

(grunts)

Come on, come on!

(explosion booms)

(people shout)

(panting)

(coughs)

BOTH: That... was... awesome!

(both laugh)

(whooping)

(Cage laughs)

Whew. (laughs)

You just used a vault to
contain a nuclear blast.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, hey.

I guess I did.

Let's pop it open, get some
of that sweet moolah, daddy.

We don't want to do that.

Anything that wasn't vaporized

is gonna be radioactive
for 10,000 years, so...

10,000?

That's, uh, that's
a no. That's a no.

(indistinct chatter)

Hey. Mac.

Hey, you guys all right?

CAGE: Considering we were just

30 feet from a
nuclear explosion,

yeah, pretty good.

Hey, guys, members of
the Red Fist are in cuffs.

We just saved a
city full of people.

So, not so bad considering.
All the money is gone.

You almost got blown up.
You guys got captured. No.

All right, well,
besides all that.

Right? Yeah.

(chuckles)

So, you hacked my cameras,
you attacked my guards,

and now you destroyed my vault.

But you met your soul mate.

MacGYVER: Uh,
and about the vault,

before you pop that thing open,

you're gonna want to send
a hazmat team in there.

What I want to do

is throw you all in a cell

and lose the key.

But I'm not gonna do that

because you saved my
casino and all the guests.

Grazie.

You have ten minutes to leave.

Hey, that gives us about
nine and a half minutes

to have a quick drinky-poo.

(both chuckle)

You have ten minutes
to leave the country.

I, uh, I wasn't kidding
about the vault.

Radiation poisoning makes for
bad Yelp reviews. VERA: Leave.

If you don't get out,
I'm going to shoot you.

(stammers) It's not a...

("Luck Be a Lady" by
Frank Sinatra playing)

♪ Luck be a lady tonight... ♪

Hey. Hi. Hey.

Glad you could make it.

Are you kidding?

Watching people try to bluff me

is all I could ask
for on a Friday night.

(chuckles)

So, I've been thinking...

Mac, to be fair, when
are you not thinking?

About your role
in our little family.

I think I figured it out.

And?

And...

you're the mysterious new kid,

the one that everyone
likes immediately,

the one who spends more
time eating meals at your house

than she does at her own.

You saying I'm
the girl next door?

(Jack trumpeting)

(laughter)

Frickity, frickity
fresh doughnuts, y'all.

Poppin' hot right from the oven.

(laughter)

What's so funny?

I might have made a few calls

and tracked down a few
new ID photos for your dossier.

Seriously?

Y'all are laughing at
photos of my bare buttocks?

Yes. Yeah.

Oh, nice. I thought
we were playing poker.

(laughs) We will once
we're done with this.

Don't... where did
you even get those?

No.

Don't answer that.

I don't care. Doesn't matter.

I was gonna share my
doughnuts with everybody,

but now I think I will
share them with...

Ms. Cage.

Why me?

For getting my back.

BOZER: Uh, don't
you mean for saving

your little booty? (laughter)

(laughs mockingly) Hold that.

Yeah, I'm-a get a piece,
I'm-a get a piece of your butt.

Tighten you up real quick.

BOZER: Help, Mac!

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