MacGyver (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Large Blade - full transcript

(grunting)

Come on.

Let's go!

- Whoa.
- (Jack yelling)

That's three times now!

It's four. Hey.

Now we're even, punk!

Oh, Mac, I just think
I got a concussion.

(grunting)

JACK: Now I'm seeing
double. Get him, Mac.

MacGYVER: Jack, I could
use some restraints, man!



JACK: I'm on the ground.
One step at a time!

(grunts, groans)

RILEY: Guys, you better hurry up.

Elvis has friends headed your way.

I thought you said our
target's name was Victor Henley.

Elvis is the code name we gave him.

Every package gets one.

Ah, spy speak. Cool.

RILEY: Guys, they just
got on the elevator.

Get to the chopper now.

Three stories, that
means we've got, uh...

No, Mac! This is stressful enough.

Well, it wouldn't be

if you had remembered
to bring more restraints.



Hey, I'm not Costco!

The op said one guy.
I brought one zip tie.

(shouts)

Well, we learned something
today, didn't we, Jack?

Riley should have this job!

Remind me to tell Jack about the
second rule of thermodynamics.

(shouts)

It states that the entropy in any system

will always decrease over time.

I don't know what you're
talking about over there.

Basically, it means that
everything eventually goes caca.

Caca. Got it.

- (shouts)
- I got caca.

No, you don't got it, 'cause if you did

you would've brought more zip ties.

I'm not the bad guy!

I figure if we ever need anything

we'll just make it, anyway.

That's cute.

Okay. Jack, hold him still.

What do you think I'm trying to do?!

- Let him go.
- You're sure?

Yes, now.

- Hurry.
- Okay.

- Your belt.
- (grunting)

- What?
- Just give me your belt.

(grunting)

That was fun to watch.

Oh, glad we could entertain you.

Guys, chopper now.

Come on, boy. Get in here.

Yeah, we should go.

- Uh...
- Copy that!

(bullets ricocheting)

Hold onto your jewels, boys.

(gunshots, bullets ricocheting)

(exhales)

Elvis has left the building.

(laughing): Yeah.

♪ ♪

Victor!

Nice smile for the
International Criminal Court.

(mumbling)

Ah, there it is!

Hey, now one for my
personal dirtbag collection.

You can have fun with this
one if you want to, okay?

Something goofy.

- (whoops)
- (mumbles)

Oh, there it is. Thank you.

What? I can't make that out.

Hey, Mac, can you make this out?

I don't know, something about

"I'm sorry I committed
all those war crimes."

(both shouting)

- Hey! What?
- And you just lost

- your daylight privileges.
- Whoa.

Settle down!

Riley, identify confirmation
photo coming your way.

Congrats, fellas.

Not a bad way to meet a new boss.

I definitely must have a concussion

'cause I thought I just heard Bozer say

we're getting a new boss?

RILEY: I'm sorry, Jack.

I was trying to find a way

to break the news to you gently.

I know you were hoping Oversight

would promote from within, but...

Only because I have the experience

and the seniority, yeah.

Yeah, man, I was really looking forward

to disobeying your direct orders.

Who's Thornton's replacement?

Effective immediately,

Matilda Webber will be taking over

as director of operations.

Matty the Hun?!

Oh, that's no bueno, amigo.

RILEY: Really?

She's HSI royalty,
from what I can gather.

I pulled up some of her
old mission debriefs.

She seems like quite the badass.

Yeah, Matty Webber's an
absolute legend in covert ops.

Oh, she's a legend, all right.

You know who else was a legend?

Dracula. The Wolf Man. Frankenstein.

A fire-breathing dragon.

You see where I'm going with this?

Yeah, let me guess.
You two have history?

Matty ran covert ops for the
CIA when I was in South America,

so she was, like, my boss for 18 months.

And there it is.

There what is?

What did you do to her?

I didn't do anything to her!

What?

I didn't. I also didn't have gray hair

before I started working
with Matty Webber.

You know, I once heard she made
the director of the NSA cry.

I heard she hung up on Putin,

and ten minutes later he
called back to apologize.

Badass.

Great. So, Riley and I

might as well start
packing our offices now.

Okay, A: neither of us have offices;

B: I'm not packing anything.

She sounds awesome.

I'm looking forward to
meeting her. Why aren't you?

Uh, maybe because the
person who hired both of us

was just arrested for treason.

Every decision Thornton made
is now under a microscope,

which includes recruiting
a burger flipper

and springing a hacker
from federal prison.

(object screeches, whirs)

(alarm beeping)

Is that what I think it is?

It depends. If you think

it's a surface-to-air missile, then yes.

Strap in.

Guys, what's going on?

We have an incoming missile.

What's that code for?

Incoming missile.

CYNTHIA: Hold on!

It's coming around.

I can't get a visual.
Can anybody see it?

No! Nothing!

(alarm beeping)

Second missile.

I got eyes on number one!

Eight o'clock!

Okay. I'm gonna try something.

Detonation! Confirmed, detonation.

One down, one to go!

Here she comes!

Yeah, I got this. I got this.

She's sticky. Changing vectors.

It's gaining!

CYNTHIA: I can't break the lock.

Hey, Mac, you know I trust you,

but that's gonna make
a horrible parachute.

Not using it as a parachute.

JACK: Oh, I get it. You're making chaff.

Confusing sensors. Good idea.

- Glad you approve.
- (laughs)

CYNTHIA: We're caught in the blowback.

Mayday, Mayday! We're going down.

BOZER: Mac, what's going on?

- CYNTHIA: We're going down.
- Mac!

(shouting)

BOZER: Mac!

- (breathing heavily)
- (Cynthia shouts)

JACK: Hey, Mac.

Mac, come here and help me,
man. I can't get her out.

(Cynthia shouts)

(grunting)

We're gonna need some leverage.

JACK: Here. I got you. We got you.

- Yeah, that's it.
- (Cynthia grunts)

One... two... three.

(Cynthia shouts)

That's it. I got her.
I got her. (grunts)

(Cynthia grunting)

Hey, whoever shot us down is gonna
be coming back to confirm the kill.

This fire's just
drawing them a road map.

- Okay, you put it out. I got her.
- Yeah.

I'm fine. It's okay.

Where's Victor?

(groaning)

(shouts)

Your tibia's fractured.
I need to stabilize it...

otherwise, the bone
might cut the artery.

I'll be right back.

(Jack grunting)

Sorry. I'm sorry.

(groans)

(Cynthia grunting, groaning)

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Okay.
- I know. Victor.

JACK: Anyone know where we are?

We're about 50 clicks from Taraz,

just north of the Kazakhstani border.

That's probably the closest
sign of civilization.

They'll find us. Don't worry.

Look, we were flying
way under radar altitude

when we were diverted
from our flight plan

when those missiles started flying,

and our transponder's in there.

- Our trans...
- Done. Done.

Our transponder's in there?

JACK: So they have no way of knowing

- where we are?
- No.

That's... that's fantastic.

Yeah, well, that's not our only problem.

Victor's gone.

Pretty sure he's still alive.

MAN: Okay, aircraft is in the area.

Mark it if you can see it.

Okay, come on.

- Do a quick search.
- I need you.

(indistinct conversations)

Okay, we're briefing the
Pentagon in ten minutes.

Have you been able to locate
the site of the crash yet?

No, the chopper's
transponder isn't pinging

and I can't spot and smoke or
debris on the satellite imagery.

There's no sign of the crash site.

Just endless wilderness.

So maybe they didn't crash?

It's more likely the ground
cover is hiding the debris.

And they put out any fires
to stop whoever shot them down

from finding them.

If they put out the fires,

at least that means
they're alive, right?

For now.

The Tyan-Shan wilderness
is hundreds of square miles

of hostile territory.

Even if we could mobilize a search team,

finding them in those woods?

Like a needle in a haystack.

Then I guess they better start looking.

Because as long as that
needle's still out there,

I don't care how long it takes to find.

River water here isn't safe to drink.

But tree roots filter out toxins.

Now, biggest fear
with a break like yours

is fever and swelling.

Best way to fight that
is by staying hydrated.

Well, the helicopter's
comms are burnt to a crisp,

and whatever was in that
survival kit's now...

scattered for miles.

And none of us are
gonna even get one bar

service on our cell phones out here.

But good news is,

no roaming charges.

Oh, wait, I-I had a satphone in a...

a red backpack.

You mean this one?

Yeah, that's the one.

I, uh...

don't suppose anybody's
got a bag of rice handy?

Well, there's no
grocery stores out here,

but I think I can whip up

something that uses the same principle.

Ah!

Dry rice is a desiccate.

JACK: Of course it is.

Meaning it soaks up moisture.

Baked wood

does the same thing.

So, if I can put the phone in...

an airtight bottle,

it might be able to
soak up enough moisture

so we can turn it back on again.

CYNTHIA: Okay.

How long is that gonna take?

- A few hours.
- Great.

- If we're lucky.
- That's good news.

That's good news.

Hey, you want some more good news?

I can't find my gun.

Well, where was it
last before the crash?

Well, I thought was
in my holster, I think.

You think?

Well, I...

Hey, come on, man,

my life just flashed before my eyes,

I've had, like, four concussions,

I can't even see straight.

My retention level is not...

detail-oriented right now.

Well, this certain detail
is somewhat important

because it's the difference between

your gun being somewhere out here

or in the hands of someone who knows
how to use it to kill people really well.

Well, when you put it that
way, it doesn't sound real good.

So, basically the war criminal

we were bringing back to stand trial,

that bombed a hospital,

is loose in the forest, possibly armed?

- That'd be my bet, yeah.
- Okay.

MacGYVER: Guys, blood trail.

Over here. It's fresh.

It leads this way. It's got to be him.

Come on, we got to go after him.

Uh, I...

Look, I really... I appreciate
your enthusiasm, Cynthia,

I really do, but you're in no
shape for the hunt right now.

- Jack's right.
- I'll be fine.

Look,

there's no way we can call
for help right now anyway.

By the time we catch him,

hopefully our satphone will dry up

and we can call in for some exfil.

We both know we can't allow Victor

to find his way out of here.

And it is a lot better than
sitting around and watching a...

cell phone dry.

Well, you know what?

He is injured.

It means we do have a
chance of catching him.

Yeah, let's go.

All right. Let's go.

JACK Whoa, whoa!

(Cynthia yells)

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

- Just wait right here.
- (moans)

What's he doing?

Being MacGyver.

Use this.

You must've won every
merit badge as a kid.

I was actually kicked out of the Scouts.

I don't believe that.

You know, for years
I've heard about your...

unusual field skills.

But I never thought that my
entire life would depend on it.

- So no pressure.
- Now let's go.

No, I got it, I got it, let's go.

(groans)

Yes, ma'am.

(door opens)

Hey.

(door closes)

Snuck out of a training op in the lab,

so I'm all yours until someone realizes.

What's the latest?

I just reassigned a
KH-11 recon satellite.

These images are from
after they went down.

These are from a previous
pass, five hours before.

If I can spot any changes
between before and after,

there's a chance it
could be the crash site.

Looking for a needle in the
haystack by looking at the hay.

Smart.

(typing on keyboard)

Think they're okay?

Ah, come on.

Mac's probably already
built a new helicopter

out of bamboo and pine sap,

and Jack's flying them home.

Yeah.

And the only reason we
haven't heard from them is

Jack doesn't want Mac's coconut
phone to run out of minutes.

(chuckling): Yeah.

I don't know how you do it.

Just 'cause I'm not in a
corner curled up in a ball

doesn't mean I got it
together, 'cause I don't.

I'm freaked out right now, too.

But that's not gonna help them.

Just don't like being
stuck here, you know?

Staring at Google Earth.

Feeling completely useless.

This helps.

Because when Mac finally figures out

some weird-ass way to send up an SOS,

he's gonna need me right
here, waiting on the signal.

So thanks.

(softly): Yeah.

(leaves rustling)

♪ ♪

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm not the biggest fan of humping it.

Too used to being up there.

Remind me to do a better job at
avoiding the missiles next time.

(Jack laughs)

I'm fairly certain

we're only alive because
of your fancy flying skills.

JACK: Oh, definitely.

- That was the best... here.
- Thanks.

That was the best crash landing
I've ever been a part of.

How long have you been at the stick?

Oh, since I can remember.

Basically grew up in the
cockpit of my dad's Cessna.

He taught me how to fly
before I could drive.

I joined the Air Force
as soon as I could.

High school to flight school, huh?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I married a pilot.
- Oh, cool.

Met him in basic training.

He's stationed... (grunts)

in Afghanistan right now.

Oh, must be nice being with someone

who understands what you do.

- (grunts) Just one second.
- Yeah, take a break.

Damn it.

You know, you could've
made a heavier crutch.

Shut up.

Hey, you know, I told you
to say something to her.

Something to who?

You know who I'm talking about.

Who... hey, now's not the
time for that, all right?

- Now's the perfect time.
- No.

We've been too busy to talk about it,

and time's all we have now.

Hey, Sarah was getting married, man.

I'm not gonna steal another
guy's bride at the alter,

that's just a bad luck summons.

Look, what I'm saying is,

maybe you should've
told her how you felt,

instead of dropping not-so-subtle hints,

and giving her a chance to
make a decision for herself.

Okay, yeah, thank you,
session's over, Doctor.

Look, I don't know

who this Sarah is,

and surely it's none of my business,

but your boy's got a point, Jack.

I mean, what if this woman
didn't know how you felt,

and she married the guy
who she thought loved her?

Okay, okay, hang on.

Let's say I would've
told her how I felt,

and she didn't marry this Jim guy...

- Jeff.
- Oh yeah, Jeff, Jim, whatever.

Let's say she leaves him.

Right? Then everything's
great. I mean, it's perfect.

We're in love. We get
a dog named Peaches.

Eventually, I'm gonna figure out a way

how to ruin it. That's just what I do.

(chuckles) Yeah. Or not.

I don't want to think about
the "or nots" right now, Mac.

Just like I don't want to think
about Matty Webber coming in

and taking over the cactus chair.

That should be me.

Yeah. I know. Well...

you're not exactly the
pencil-pushing type, right?

I know.

And now,

you get to trek with me through
exotic and thrilling locations.

Yeah. And I am into it.

Believe me. I'm just saying, I...

I think I wanted them to want me
for that position at the Phoenix

so I could've turned them down later.

And I would've gladly
taken the job in a heartbeat

if I'd known that Matty the
Hun was gonna be showing up.

(laughs) Come on.

She can't be that bad.

No. Listen. Matty the Hun,
not Matty Sunshine, okay?

There's a reason they
named her after a barbarian.

They named her that, or you did, Jack?

Okay, well, I might've started
it, but it stuck for a reason.

Believe me. She's a giant killer.

RILEY: Gotcha!

BOZER: Is it Mac and Jack?

Next best thing. The crash site.

That doesn't look good.

I can toggle to thermal
and look for heat sources.

RILEY: Nothing.

- Site's cold.
- What does that mean?

I don't know. It doesn't mean anything.

(sighs)

The crash was hours ago.
They could've walked away.

All I know is it's gonna be impossible

to find heat sources in this forest.

Okay. Okay. What does Mac always say?

All right? An agent just needs

a scrap of actionable intel, right?

You just found our scrap.

There's got to be
something we can do with it.

Then let's make some calls.

(exhales, sniffles)

What is it, Mac?

MacGYVER: Blood trail ends here.

Well, I guess, now we know for sure

Victor's got my gun.

CYNTHIA: Yeah, but
why would he crack open

a bullet and leave the
slug and the shell behind?

'Cause he used the gunpowder
to cauterize his wound,

and those leaves to treat his burn.

Oh, well, that's just great.

Now he's gonna be moving
faster with my gun in his hand.

Coming off a helicopter crash

and getting passed up for a promotion?

Don't like the way this day's going.

(engine humming, people shouting)

That's an SA-7 Grail.

Fires the type of
rockets that shot us down.

JACK: Looks like our boy's

got some well-armed pals
out looking for him now.

Which means they're also looking for us.

Man, we better hope we find
Victor before his friends do.

You mean, before his
heavily armed friends do?

Well, what are the chances my satphone's

dried up enough to call the cavalry?

(grunts) Yeah. Battery
still works, but...

The circuitry's still
a little wet, so...

(exhales) No.

Can you speed up the decimator?

- It's called a desiccator.
- Whatever.

Actually, yeah. We could swap
some freshly baked wood in,

but... if we start a fire, it'll
lead Victor's friends right to us.

So the answer's no.

Why don't you just say no?

Every once in a while. Just...
cut right the chase, Mac.

Good?

Looks like the splint
is holding up, yeah.

And you feel warm,

but... I think that's more
from exertion, not a fever,

which is a good thing.

How do you feel?

Solid. I say, let's go get this joker,

and get the hell out of here.

Yeah. There you go.

I like it, but...

there's no blood trail
to follow anymore.

Blood trail? You don't need
no stinkin' blood trail.

(chuckles)

CYNTHIA: What?

Nobody? Really? Treasure
of the Sierra Madre?

Humphrey Bogart?

Okay. We got to fix this right
now. Can you make a DVD player

out of some sticks, some
rocks and twigs, or something?

Yeah. Get right on that.

My point is, we don't need

a blood trail. I've taken AMOS.

BOTH: Advanced Mountain
Operations School.

That's right. I'm a
good dog to hunt with.

Victor might not be dripping blood,

but he's still dropping clues.

Yeah. Come on, y'all. I
think he went this way.

Really?

He might actually know
what he's talking about.

All right. (grunts)

Yeah. He's unconsciously taking
the path of least resistance,

'cause he's tired, wounded, disoriented.

His legs are pulling
him downhill, not up.

We must've dropped a
hundred feet in elevation

since the spot where
he cauterized his wound.

We'll find him.

No, no. Looky here. See that?

He's sliding around all over the place.

We can't be more than
15 minutes behind him.

Nice.

Hey, come here.

You see this, right here?

Act like we're talking
about something else.

You think she's impressed
with my tracking skills?

No. I think she's married.

BOZER: Thanks.

Okay.

Great news.

The CIA is coordinating with
the nearest U.S. Army base.

They've agreed to send a
search chopper for Jack and Mac

starting with this crash site you found.

Now that's how you
make intel actionable.

Also, I kind of just gave
somebody orders at the CIA.

Feels good being able
to help find our guys.

Why do you have that look on your face?

That's a storm headed straight for them.

That rescue team you
sent better move quick.

(helicopter blades whirring)

Yeah. Here we go.

The left print on this
boot's getting deeper.

MacGYVER: Think he was
limping on his right?

Yeah. I think so. He's exhausted.

We're gonna catch him soon.

(helicopter whirring overhead)

What is that?

Helicopter. It's a Black Hawk.

Even if they flew right over us,

they'd never see us
through all this foliage.

And if they mark off this area,

they're not gonna be
coming back, either.

MacGYVER (whispering): Hey.

Wait here.

PILOT (over radio): Phoenix,
this is Alpha Bravo 17,

coming into segment
14D of the search grid.

(exhales) Come on Mac. Make some noise.

Show 'em where you are.

♪ ♪

(grunts, groaning)

Cynthia!

Come on.

Turn around.

(footsteps approaching)

(twigs snapping)

PILOT: 14D clear.

Moving on. Over.

JACK: Mac!

Mac.

- Hey. You got to...
- I just saw Victor. We can go get him.

No. Victor... Forget Victor.
You got to come back right now.

Cynthia's not doing good. Come on!

JACK: Let's go!

(shivering)

Hey. Maybe you should give her, like,

mouth-to-mouth or something.

She's not drowning, Jack.

She's feverish. She's hypothermic.

Oh.

If I don't build a
fire right now to raise

her body temperature, she's gonna die.

Obviously, I don't
want her to die, okay?

But if we go building
a fire, it's gonna tell

all of Victor's guys,
"Hey, look, everybody,

"we're over here, come kill us."

What other option do we have?

I'm not saying we have one.

- I'm just saying.
- We build a fire.

(Cynthia muttering)

Tell Dad I can make it.

JACK: Easy, just,

just take some time. All right?

Hey, is that working yet?

Not yet. I need the battery.

♪ ♪

I don't have time to
rub two sticks together

and wait for a spark, but luckily...

tree sap is an accelerant.

There it is.

- Feeling better?
- Yeah.

(sighs)

How's our patient doing?

Yeah, well,

she could use some soup and a doctor,

but she'll be good, for now.

How much longer till we can get moving?

I don't really like sitting around here

waiting for the bad guys
to spot our smoke signals.

You know what I mean?

She needs more time.

But if you hear anybody coming,

get her out of here fast.

Yeah. Hey, no, no. Wait a second, now.

Where you going?

I'm going after Victor.

By yourself? I don't think so.

Look, without Cynthia,
I can move faster.

I can catch up to him, I might be able

to get in front of him and cut him off.

I might be able to get in front
of him and cut him off... let me go!

No. You need to stay
here and protect her.

That was a four-man ATV we saw.

If they do follow the
smoke and get here,

she's gonna need the best
protection she can get.

Hey, are you f...? And that's you, pal.

Are you forgetting about what
Victor did to us on that roof?

- I'm not at all.
- He's a big dude, man.

I remember very well.

He hit me with his right hand.

So?

Well, when I was in the clearing,

he shot at me with his left.

No person with proper training

would ever use his non-dominant hand

to shoot a gun, unless he had no choice.

Yeah, he was limping on his right leg.

Maybe his whole right side
got messed up in that crash.

I think he broke his right hand.

So if I can take out his left somehow,

I stand a chance.

Hey.

Don't die.

That's the plan.

One time, when we were kids,

Mac's grandfather took us camping.

I got all excited.

Went out and bought a lantern,
water purifier, little stove.

But we got to the trailhead,

Mac's grandpa wouldn't
let me take any of it.

Said, "All you need to
survive is what's up here...

"and what's out there."

We spent three days with nothing.

And on the third night, I stepped out

into the woods to, uh...

to relieve myself.

And was suddenly face-to-face

with a massive bear.

I started moving back, but
he started following me.

I swear he was about to charge

when Mac showed up out of nowhere,

and told me to make myself
as big and loud as possible.

Because the bear

was afraid of me.

So, I did what Mac said.

And you know what?

He was right.

The second I growled back,

the bear ran off.

I mean, I had to throw my underwear away

and I couldn't sleep for
three weeks afterwards, but...

it worked.

Trust me.

If there's anyone who
could survive this,

it's Mac.

(thunder rumbling)

Nine, ten...

- eleven.
- (thunder cracks loudly)

(Cynthia shudders)

Two miles.

The storm's a little
over two miles east now.

So it's moving away?

Yeah, the winds are blowing
in our favor... for now.

Well, that would be the only
thing that went right today.

Well, let's hope they don't shift.

We don't need that storm

coming back this way
and passing overhead.

So what's our plan if
MacGyver doesn't come back?

He'll come back.

Right, I mean, I know he's coming back,

but... we should still have a plan...

in case.

He'll come back.

(gasps)

(grunts)

(branch snaps)

(grunts)

(grunts)

What's up, Victor?

(clicking nearby)

Jack, it's me.

Did you find Victor?

(grunts)

JACK (laughing): Oh, my man.

- Dropped this.
- Yeah, thanks.

JACK: What are you doing back
on that leash again for, Victor?

Huh?

You been a bad boy?

You know what you need?

A spanking.

Jack, he can't talk back, he's gagged.

Yeah, well, that's
just the way I like it.

You know, I think things
may be turning around for us.

Our fire didn't draw any
unwarranted attention,

I didn't have to beat
anybody with that stick

and that storm went right by.

Things might actually
be looking up for us.

I think the SAT phone's dry.

Really? Well, means
rescue's a phone call away.

There you go.

(sighs)

What's wrong?

The battery shorted out.

I'm gonna use it to start a fire.

(engine humming nearby)

That's Victor's friends.

Yeah, we were on such a roll.

Two rounds? Victor, what
have you been shooting at?

Huh?

Let me tell you something.

Two rounds ain't gonna do squat

against the kind of artillery
those guys are packing.

Okay, what's our plan?

We got to figure out a
way to protect ourselves

if we can't call for help.

(thunder crashes)

Actually, maybe we can call for help.

Oh, no. No, I'm getting a
bad feeling you're gonna know

how to get us out of this, aren't you?

Yeah.

JACK: And I'm guessing it rides the line

right between chaos and danger?

Uh-huh, but the best part is

we won't have to worry
about Victor's friends

if it doesn't work, 'cause
it'll kill us all instantly.

(chuckles) Great.

(thunder crashes)

MacGYVER: I'm gonna use this to charge

the SAT phone, so we can call for help.

How?

I've learned not to ask.

In 1752, Benjamin Franklin

conducted his famous kite experiment.

JACK: Okay, yeah, B-Frank.

Lightning boy, got it.

(sighs) Exactly.

But there's two things
that most people don't know.

One is there was a string

from the kite going
down to the something

called a Leyden jar.

Which was the first device
capable of storing electric charge.

And that's what I'm making.

Now, a Leyden jar is
basically a container

made of an insulating material,
such as Cynthia's bottle...

filled with salt water
from the ground up roots.

Then I wrap metal...

around the container.

Then spike this...

(grunts)

down the center.

This spike collects ambient
electricity and stores it.

"Ambient," meaning air

from the lightning storm.
You're gonna take your magic jar

into Zeus' block party over there,

all lightning-rod style?

I got no choice.

I need a charge to power the phone,

and the only way to get that charge is

by going into that static
electricity in that storm.

This is where the term "lightning
in a bottle" comes from.

- What's the second thing?
- The what?

Benny Frank's little kite experiment.

You said there were two things
a lot of people don't know.

What's the second thing?

It never happened. It's a myth.

If it did go down the
way the history books say,

then he would've been killed instantly.

Okay, well, thanks for the pep talk.

- Are you coming?
- Yeah, I'm coming.

Cynthia, keep an eye on Victor.

If he gets squirrely, blast
two rounds in him, all right?

My pleasure.

- Let's do it.
- MacGYVER: All right.

One, two...

(thunder crashes)

The storm's right on top of us now.

It ain't gonna get any more 1.21
jiggywatts than this, brother.

(thunder crashes)

We need to drop it in the
middle of that clearing.

Right there.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Hey, you know, this is all
stuff my mom told me not to do.

Then stay here.

No, no, I'm coming with you.

I can do it alone.

Oh, come on, you think I'm gonna pass up

the opportunity...
"Here lies Jack Dalton.

"He rode the lightning"? (chuckles)

All right. (clears his throat)

(thunder crashing)

(Jack groans)

Ah, what's happening?!

Uh, it's called the corona effect!

It's when moisture in
the air becomes ionized!

Yeah, yeah, sorry I asked!

Let's get the hell out of here!

Uh, any last words?

Well, I don't know. I ain't gonna say

I love you or anything.

Yeah, I-I don't love you, either.

I'm really sorry you didn't get the job.

Y-You're sorry now?
You're telling me that now?

It may not even matter now.

- (thunder crashes)
- Drop it!

Uh...

- (thunder crashes)
- Run!

(electricity crackling)

(audio muted, tone ringing)

- You okay?
- What?

- You okay?!
- Yeah, I'm good.

My ears are a little crispy.

I can't, can't hear anything.

- Oh, yeah, me, either.
- Yeah.

But it'll pass, probably.

Okay.

(thunder crashes)

You think it worked?

One way to find out! Come on!

Okay.

I'm gonna need to
borrow your flight suit.

- What?
- And by "borrow," I mean cut up.

- Really just this zipper.
- Okay.

Yeah?

- My gun.
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

We should be able to use these

as wires to connect the positive

and negative terminals of the jar

to the SAT phone.

And if it works,

I can use it to transmit
our GPS coordinates.

(men grunting)

- Uh, Mac, as usual...
- Yeah, go faster?

Yeah. Victor's buddies
are closing in here.

Okay, the moment of truth.

We got power.

(grunting gets louder)

Did it work? Did it send?

(big board chimes)

What is that? Is it Mac?

It's Mac, isn't it?

It sure is.

We better get out of here.

We can't abandon this position.

If help's coming,
it's coming right here.

(nearby rumbling)

(men shouting in foreign language)

(loud whistling)

(laughing)

JACK: That's right,
boys, head for the hills.

Your Uncle Sam's here.

Sorry, Victor.

Looks like your friends
don't want to play anymore.

JACK: You know, Mac, it's becoming clear

to me that my place is with you,

right here on the ground.

We almost got struck by lightning today.

I mean, if I'm the boss,
that's not gonna happen to me

cooped up in an office somewhere.

Not true. I can roll the windows up,

- run some cables up in there...
- Yeah, no.

You're missing the point.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, I'm glad you're
gonna be watching my back.

♪ The time in our favorite
place is going too fast ♪

♪ The time we spent here
is already in the past ♪

♪ L.A., L.A., L.A., L.A., go today ♪

♪ L.A., L.A. why's
everyone going away? ♪

♪ Los Angeles ♪

♪ I'll take you there... ♪

Hey.

What took you guys so long?

Why, did you miss us or something?

Maybe a little...

Ah...

Aw.

(laughs)

Wow, you guys take debrief serious.

Their heads almost
exploded when I told them

about your little lightning trick.

Maybe leave that part out next time.

Ah.

What lightning trick?

Oh, oh, I get it.

You three spent some time

in the woods together,
now you have this bond

that the rest of us wouldn't understand.

It's cool. Okay.

Riley and I have experiences, too.

MACGYVER: Oh, yeah?

Like what?

Oh, sitting around the office,

giving orders to the CIA... good stuff.

Cynthia, meet Riley and Bozer.

Riley and Bozer, meet the most badass

helicopter pilot I've ever seen.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

You Boy Scouts saved my life.

Thank you...

for everything.

- You're welcome.
- Cynthia!

Scott.

Oh, 3:50. New boss
gets here in 10 minutes.

- Ten minutes?
- RILEY: Ten minutes.

I am so not ready.

RILEY: Jack.

Jack?

I have never seen you
this nervous before.

Come on, she can't be that bad.

Can she? (shudders)

(laughs)

Yeah, yeah, you keep laughing.

Trust me, you're gonna be
changing your tune in a minute.

- Maybe I should have worn a tie.
- Nah, it wouldn't have helped.

Relax, Bozer, you're fine. Besides,

everyone except for Jack
says Webber's amazing, so...

RILEY: Are you really not gonna tell me

what happened between you two?

All you need to know is Matty
Webber's the reason I left the CIA.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So she fired you.

Let's just say it was a
mutual parting of ways.

- Oh, she fired his ass.
- No, she didn't...

She didn't fire me, dude,
all right? No firing.

Hey, come on. You can tell me.

It's the truth. I didn't get fired.

Bro, I need details.
I'm verklempt over her.

- What?
- Verklempt!

JACK: Well, yeah, you
have good reason to be.

Keeping your mouth shut's
probably the best route

to go on this one. You know that movie

where that robot says,
uh, "I'll be back"?

Terminator?

No, man, that wasn't the one.

But that-that's the anxiety level

that I'm feeling right now.

(door opens)

Hey!

- She's back.
- Hell yeah, I'm back.

Feet on the floor, blondie.

Shut up.

Looking a little gray around
the temples there, Jack.

Figured you'd be retired by now or dead.

Heh, no, no, ma'am.

I'm still serving my country

until they tell me to stop.

Stop!

JK... just kidding.

Oh, that was a good one, ma'am.

Put the toy down, paper-clip
boy, and pay attention.

Look whatever Jack told you about me...

it's all true.

So suck it up,

because I'm here...

and this is happening.

Now, we have a situation
that just flared up in Kuwait.

Needs our immediate attention.

Are you guys ready to have some fun?

- ♪ Talk to corporate ♪
- ♪ Like a boss... ♪

- Absolutely.
- Yes, ma'am.

- ♪ Lead a workshop ♪
- ♪ Like a boss ♪

- ♪ Remember birthdays ♪
- ♪ Like a boss. ♪