Lucifer (2015–…): Season 6, Episode 8 - Save the Devil, Save the World - full transcript

[Ella] See? There it is.

Definitive proof that
the laws of nature are breaking down,

and the Earth as we know it
is officially doomed.

Right.

Yeah, I... I can see how
some of these things could be problematic.

Uh, frogs falling from the sky,

plagues, random plane crashes.

But reduced hiccups
and vanishing mosquitoes?

[chuckles] I mean,
surely those last two should reside

on a separate "tiny nuisance" board?

Okay, fine.



Maybe I haven't figured out
exactly what role hiccups will play

in the world's final act,
but the dwindling mosquito population?

I... Ay, Dios mío!

Mosquito numbers drop low enough,

the whole ecosystem goes down

like a triple-decker ice cream
on a hot summer day.

We're talking aquatic life,
birds, all affected.

We lose mosquitoes... we lose civilization.

Oh.

I was supposed to protect humanity.

[sighs] How could I fail to notice
something of this... this magnitude?

- Well, to be fair, none of us noticed.
- I noticed. Okay? I noticed.

And I would have
figured it out a lot sooner

if any one of you would have let me
into your little celestial in-crowd,



but no!

You guys had to play "sideline
the scientist," like everybody else.

You need to become God, now.

[Ella] Hold up.

I thought your dad was God.

Father of angels,
best hugger in the world,

because he literally invented hugs.

It all made sense.

Dad was God,
but then he retired to Mom's universe.

Incommunicado as ever.

Probably thinks that the apocalypse
is some sort of teachable moment.

So, what, you're just
gonna become the new God now?

He's not "just" doing anything, Ella.

The whole angel war
was fought to win Lucifer that seat.

Remiel died for it.

Chloe died for it.

You what now?

We still have some things
we need to explain.

Listen, it's been a long
and painful road for all of us,

but the time has come
for Lucifer to ascend the throne.

You're right, brother.

It's time.

Next time you see me, I'll be God.

[chuckles] Ruler of Heaven and Earth.

Earth...

Why is he doing
that shruggy thingy with his shoulders?

[Lucifer] It's just... this is very weird.

Like, I can feel my wings in there,
but they don't just...

They don't wanna pop out. [hesitates]

I... this has never happened
to me before. I...

Gimme some room!
I'll give it a jump start.

- Gimme some room!
- [Chloe] Okay!

[Lucifer shouts]

[Chloe] Lucifer...

- Come on!
- [Ella] I get it!

[Lucifer groans]

Gimme a lift.

Given what happened last time,

I think it's probably best that you deal
with whatever this is before you go up.

Good point.

Lucifer, your... your body self-actualizes,

so, with everything that's been going on,
what if your wings aren't coming out

because you feel
you're not ready to be God.

- But I am ready. [chuckles]
- Listen, we don't have time for this.

I'll go to the Silver City
and try to figure out what's going on

and try to stall whatever's happening.

As for you, brother,

you need to get your head on straight.

- [Lucifer groans]
- Silver City?

Oh, my God.

Amenadiel!

[wings flapping]

[gasps]

[laughs]

Oh.

So that's how it's supposed to work.

[laughs]

[inhales]

- Come on!
- Okay!

Well, now what?

Okay, if you need
to get your head on straight,

then...

Right.

[Lucifer] Doctor!

Doctor!

[groans]

Oh, for crying out loud. Doctor!

- [Linda moans]
- [exhales]

- Aah!
- [Lucifer] Don't worry.

It's nothing I haven't seen before.

Look, I'm sorry to wake you,
but it's an emergency.

Oh. Hello.

The sommelier from the wedding. [chuckles]

Excellent taste, as always.

What kind of emergency, uh,

other than the end of the world?

It's time, Doctor.

Time for what?

For the final therapy
of Lucifer Morningstar.

For real, this time.

Okay, I understand the possible end of
the world needs to be dealt with quickly,

in the middle of the night, even,
but why did we have to come to my office?

Because this is where
I do my best emotional processing.

Right, of course.

- [Lucifer sighs]
- [Linda groans]

Okay, so what's the problem?

Well, I can't save the world
till I'm on Dad's throne,

and I can't get to Dad's throne
'cause my wings are on the fritz.

- Okay, couldn't Amenadiel fly you up?
- Well, in theory, yes.

But who's to say my body
won't self-sabotage some other way?

I mean, I could burst into flames again,

and not the, you know,
"Yay, I'm worthy" kind.

Lucifer, you're right
that most performance issues

are rooted in the mind.

I beg your pardon.

You of all people should know I've never
suffered from performance issues.

[sighs]

- Oh, you mean the wings.
- Yeah.

Right, yes, well, that is most likely
mental, rather than anatomical,

which is why the fate of the world
literally rests in your capable hands.

So, come on.

Shrink me.

Okay, just, um...

Just give me a sec to think.

[sighs]

Let's see...

- What's that?
- Nothing.

[gasps]

"Sympathy for the Devil:
My Time With Lucifer Morningstar."

Doesn't look like "nothing" to me.

Okay.

[exhales] This is happening.

At 3:00 a.m.

Without a bra.

Um... [exhales]

I've been writing a book...

about you.

[huffs]

Well...

this is, uh...

This is marvelous!

I mean, Western literature has portrayed
me in a terrible light for centuries,

starting with that perennial best-seller
that need not be named.

Thanks for nothing, Gutenberg.

[hesitates] Yeah, well,
it's... it's just a first draft. [chuckles]

Uh, a pre-first draft, really.

I was just skimming over it in case
there was something useful, you know,

from one of your past sessions...
[clears throat]

...you know,
considering I haven't had any sleep.

Or coffee.

The past.

- Doctor, that's it.
- What is it?

If everything
we've worked through together

in the past five years is contained
in this book,

then the answer to my little wing sitch
must be in here.

So, all we need to do is find it.

Oh, I don't think that's a good idea,
Lucifer.

Quite a lot to read on borrowed time.

That's just chapter one.

That's the book.

Right. Were you planning to go
full Dickens and get paid by the word?

Unwieldy, right? Which is why I think
we should come up with another solution.

- [sighs]
- Hypnosis, visualization.

I know a medicine man in Tarzana
who can do wonders with ayahuasca.

Well, much as I love the psychedelics,
no need, doctor.

Because all we need to do is
go through everything you've written,

line by line, until we find the answer.

[sighs] We're gonna need a bigger office.

[Ella] Now don't think this means
I'm not still mad at you guys, okay?

Because I totally am.

But you can't have a sleepover

without fuzzy slippers
and Korean face masks. You just can't.

Wait. You said there would be five of us.

Oh.

[soul music playing]

♪ Take a few more steps... ♪

What?

You interrupt a demon on a wedding night,
you get what you get.

♪ Take a few more steps... ♪

So, in conclusion,

if we divide and conquer
the doctor's sure-to-be-fascinating book,

then we should be able to solve
my wingtuation in a snap. [snaps fingers]

"Save the devil, save the world,"
as it were.

[Dan] Maybe Lucifer's problem
is he promises to help people out.

- But then he just leaves them hanging.
- [scoffs] Yeah, good point, Dan.

Dan? What? No... no way!

Are you... are you telling me
that Dan is here, like, in this room?

Yeah, he's a... a ghost.

Humans can't see him.

Oh!

Well, maybe your problem is

that you're constantly
keeping secrets from people

who care about you!

[sighs]

- Maze, give Ella a message for me.
- [laughs] No!

No, I did not traipse over here
on my wedding night

to be your Whoopi Goldberg.

Hey, look, guys.

Everybody's name is on this page,
so this might be a good place to start.

"Lucifer sauntered into the precinct,
greeting all of his friends."

Hello, precinct!

Yes, it's me,
your favorite crime-solving devil.

- Morning, Detective.
- Good morning.

That's the case, all wrapped up.

Clue, suspect, new clue, takedown.
Another murder solved.

Crazy that the killer
was the first person we met.

- What are the chances?
- I know!

- [chuckles]
- Isn't it such a great day?

Also, I have information for you.

Science, gak.

Super-duper cheery science gak.

- Did you say "science"?
- Mm-hmm.

That makes me think.
Yes, I just solved another murder.

- Unbelievable.
- [Dan] Hey, Chloe!

- Here's the evidence you asked for.
- [Lucifer sighs]

[chuckles] Oh, Dan.

[inhales] I think you...
you made a mistake.

- [sighs]
- But don't worry, I'll fix it. Again.

- [chuckles]
- [Mazikeen grunts]

[sighs] Yep.

You're welcome.

- Two-for-one bounties. Kudos.
- Two and a half.

- [grunts]
- [shrieks]

Relax, dude. [exhales]

- He was like that when I found him.
- [Dan exhales]

Dan, is something missing
from the evidence bag?

Aww.

Daniel.

[screams]

[panting]

[Lucifer] Oh.

Cacuzza!
Were you under there the whole time?

- [gasps]
- [chuckles]

"Under." That makes me think.

- I just solved another murder.
- How do you do it, Detective?

You're so smart and beautiful and perfect,

and we are the best partnership ever,
aren't we?

- [Chloe] Yes.
- [chuckles]

Oh, that reminds me.

There's something important
I need to talk to you about.

Something celestial in nature.

Uh, Miss Lopez,
would you mind giving us a moment?

Yes, yes,
I would love some more science gak.

You got it, Decker, because I'm so happy
and everything is great!

[Lucifer chuckles] Isn't it?

It's not, we have a problem.

Nope! No, Lucifer epiphanies on this page.

- [taps papers]
- Guess we'd better just move on!

[chuckling] Okay.

Did I mention this is a first draft
and hasn't been edited at all?

Which means that that is exactly
what Lucifer said about us...

"Technically," not "exactly."

[chuckles] Apparently, he thinks
I'm nothing but sunshine and rainbows!

- [huffs]
- Not so "sunshine and rainbows" now, am I?

Miss Lopez.

Guess you don't really know me
any better than I thought I knew you.

[sighs]

Well, to be fair, you do tend
towards a glass-half-full attitude.

So I'd say the book is pretty accurate.

Uh, yeah, of course you would say that.
I mean, you came out amazing.

[Chloe] Well, I guess so.

I don't know.
I think Lucifer nailed it with me.

The sex, violence, kick-ass outfits.

I mean, hello!

Yeah, he got me right too.

I never thought I'd say this about a book,
but I can't wait to dig in.

Ho-ho! Neither can I.

[Lucifer sighs, chuckles]

Ah...

Doctor, I am beginning to suspect
you should have done a bit more editing

before sharing your manuscript
with others.

You think?

[sighs] Huh!

I cannot believe you kept that from me.

And that!

And...

I held an angel feather in my hand.

And you let me believe it was from an emu?

Oh, well,
I wouldn't get so upset about that.

[chuckles] I mean,
given the information you had at the time,

I'd say "emu feather"
was the most logical explanation.

Now, can we just focus
on the matter at hand, please?

- [huffs]
- Huh? Me, wings...

[speaks Spanish]

Not with the Spanish.

[Linda sighs]

[Lucifer chattering]

You know, I'm used to indulging
Lucifer's unique therapeutic process,

but... [sighs]

I'm starting to feel
like this is a mistake.

Oh, God.

Do you think I should remind them again
that this is just a rough draft?

I don't know.

At least I have you.

Rational, reasonable Chloe.

Always on task.

Yep, that's me.

[Linda sighs]

[Mazikeen exhales]

[muttering]

Uh, should I speed up or slow down?

You can read, right?

Doesn't matter.
There's no surprises about me in here.

It's just "corrupt cop,"
"shitty person." I get the gist.

You are not a shitty person, Dan.

You're literally reading
about the time we killed a guy, Maze.

[Mazikeen exhales]

[Dan clears throat]

[quietly] "Maze and Dan were
headed downtown, thirsty for justice."

[dramatic music plays]

This is all my fault.

Yeah, Dan, this is all your fault.

The murderer who killed Chloe's dad
is walking around free...

and it's all because of me.

[both sigh]

We have to do something.

We can't kill him.

You're right, Maze.

We can't.

[shudders]

The Russians!

[sighs] It's what we have to do.

[Mazikeen exhales]

[Mazikeen] You think you're the one who
set the Russians up to murder that guy?

[scoffs] No, please.
You're reading it all wrong.

[sound of tape rewinding]

[dramatic music plays]

This is all my fault.

Yeah, Dan, this is all your fault.

The murderer who killed Chloe's dad
is walking free...

and it's all because of me. [sighs]

We have to do something.

Well, we can't kill him.

Yeah, you're right, Maze. We can't.

The Russians?

It's what we gotta do. Come on.

Okay, okay.

You have your version. I have mine.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter.

What we did back there wasn't right.

All right? But I spent a few thousand
years coming to terms with it.

And I don't think it's the source
of my guilt. I just... [sighs]

I just wish I could
figure out what my real guilt is.

Uh, well, what was in your hell loop?

I don't know.

I woke up, I...

I relived my death a little.

Then Lucifer would tap me
to play ping-pong with Belios.

[exhales] Oh, God...

Wait, is that... is that bad?

Yeah, it's bad.

Whatever a damned soul's
biggest source of guilt is,

that's what goes on in his hell loop.

No hell loop, no answers.

So then, when Lucifer rescued me
from Hell's torture, he...

- He totally screwed you.
- [sighs]

Hey, but don't worry. I can fix it.

You can?

Hello! Yeah, I'm a demon.

I mean, I'm basically
a walking guilt detector.

- [exhales]
- [Mazikeen] Cheer up, dude.

I'm gonna torture your ass
right into Heaven.

[chuckles]

Charlotte Richards was a goddess?

Only... only some of the time.

[sighs]

Look...

to play my advocate... [exhales]

...I have always told you the truth.

I thought you were an actor.

Was it fun for you guys,

watching me walk around without a clue?

[exhales]

Look, to be honest, Miss Lopez,

I have always envied your ability
to accept the divine in absence of proof.

[exhales]

I suppose that's what faith is, isn't it?

I lost my faith, Lucifer.

I lost my faith after Charlotte died.

And not one of you

told me that you knew
that she was in a better place.

You didn't tell me that the Big Guy
was still up there, that he still cared.

That single set of footprints in the sand...

that was me... [sniffling]

...walking alone.

But you weren't alone.

I mean, we...
we may not have spelled it out to you,

but we were all there with you,
every step of the way. [chuckles]

Every step of the way.

[exhales] Not to mention
what a great friend

you've been to us celestials
over the years.

[both chuckle]

Chilling with the Angel of Death
before you even met the rest of us.

You and Azrael are practically BFFs.

Wait, what?

Oh, you haven't got
that part of the book. Here.

Ray-Ray is the Angel of Death?!

Uh...

[Ella huffs]

[sighs] This is the worst idea
the doctor has ever had.

Ever wonder

what your hell loop would look like,
if you had one?

[Chloe] Hmm.

[sighs] Mine would be...

a room full of my friends...

reading the first draft

of my biggest
professional accomplishment ever...

and hating it so much...

that they'd rather complain about it...

than save the world.

Please tell me you have something.

Anything, any... any insights at all.

Yeah, I think I have something.

[elevator bell dings]

[gasps] Lucifer.

- Wait. You're leaving?
- Yeah, I'll call you later.

[Chloe] Wait!

[Lucifer] You just stay here!

It's my birthday.

I have to go back.

[sobbing] Don't go.

Goodbye.

[exhales]

- Hey, oh, my God, are you okay?
- Have you seen Lucifer?

No, sorry.

Where is he?

You're on your deathbed,
and he's not there.

He's never there.

[exhales]

Oh, dear.

[Dan huffs]

[Mazikeen] Charlotte Richards.

Yeah, she's dead because of you.

She depended on you to protect her,
and you failed her.

- Yeah, that's not it.
- [exhales]

I mean, I did blame myself for a while,
but Charlotte's death wasn't my fault.

And honestly, it's kind of comforting
to know that at least she's in Heaven.

[sighs] Well,
what about your parents? Hmm?

They're probably
really disappointed in you.

I mean, look at you.

Died of broken hearts
because of all your sad bullshit.

Actually, my parents are
super proud of me and super alive.

They're actually sponsoring
an improv troupe in my honor.

The Danimal Crackers. [chuckles]

[clears throat]

What about siblings?

I'm an only child, Maze.
Honestly, how do you not know this stuff?

[Dan sighs]

But you have someone
you care about as much as a sibling.

What?

- I would never hurt Ella.
- No.

But you didn't help her either, did you?

If you had told her the truth sooner,
you could have supported her,

been there for her,

while you were still alive.

Yeah, you're not crazy.

No, no, you were...
you were just friends with an angel.

The Angel of Death.

[splutters] Which is... is totally normal.

Yeah, just like, uh,
just like your ghost buddy Dan,

who you can't see or talk to.

Uh, Dan wants to talk to you.

Oh, uh...

Wow. Okay, cool, um...

Hey, Dan.

Um...

I'm so sorry I didn't say this sooner,
but I really miss you so, so much,

and I even named a frog after you.

[chuckles] Tell her I met frog Dan.

And I'm super flattered,
and tell her that I really miss her too.

Also... also,
tell her that her favorite beaker

rolled behind her filing cabinet
last week.

- She's been looking for that.
- He said, "Yo."

- [Dan] I mean, what?
- [scoffs] I am summarizing.

[Dan scoffs]

Just show her the thing, okay, please?

Dan wants you to read this.

Oh, okay.

You guys, this is so weird.

So, cult, led by killer priest,
commits mass suicide.

- Now, that I get.
- [Chloe] Hmm.

I mean, I don't "get it" get it,
but cult, suicide, it works.

Now, what I don't get is some
of these bodies are thrashed.

Yeah, yeah, I think they were
into some pretty weird stuff.

- Yes, uh, downright demonic, I'd say.
- [both chuckle]

I don't know.

It's almost like some
of these bodies died twice.

Twice? What... [laughs]

Twice?
That would be impossible, right, Lucifer?

- [chuckles]
- [Chloe] I mean...

Yeah, yeah, that's... [scoffs]

I... I just must be off my game today. Uh...

I'll just keep this part off the report.

- [Lucifer chuckles]
- Yeah. God... [chuckles]

Oh!

Oh, okay, I get it.

So, I am just a super-gullible dummy

who's been covering up your celestial
shenanigans for years! [chuckles]

Ella, the unwitting accomplice,
strikes again!

Uh, Dan wants you to keep reading.

Uh, please.

[sighs] What would
we do without Ella, huh?

Well, for one,
I'd be short a half-angel nephew.

I just wish we could tell her the truth.

Well, so do I, but as we've established,
humans don't tend to react that well

when they find out there are
actual angels and demons running around,

even if they already know
the truth in their hearts.

Yeah, okay.

So I helped save Charlie
after he was kidnapped.

That is literally my job.

You know, this whole time,

I really thought
that I was part of the inner circle.

But I wasn't.

I was just a lonely tangent.
[chuckles, sniffles]

Yeah, um... [clears throat]

Dan says that, while you
may not have known the specifics,

that everyone here
always loved and trusted you, Ella.

No, I am not saying that.

[splutters]

Dan says you are the inner circle.

If you guys really trusted me,
you would have told me the truth.

Ella...

[grunts softly]

[elevator bell dings]

[Lucifer] Chloe!

I'm out here.

What's wrong?

[Chloe] Well, uh...

in the book, you make me sound...

amazing.

Yes, I can see how
that would be upsetting. [chuckles]

What if you think
I'm smart and... and beautiful

and "perfect"...

because you've never stuck around
long enough to see me at my worst?

Oh, well,
now you're just making things up.

[exhales]

When... when Rory said
that you weren't at my deathbed,

you know, I thought, uh...

"That's impossible."

"Lucifer would never abandon me."

But reading this, I realize...

[splutters] Of course you would.

You've done it so many times before.

- Have I?
- [Chloe] Yes!

Every time we've had
an emotional breakthrough,

you've... you've immediately
gone off and disappeared.

Oh, come on, that can't be true.

No, listen to me.

And now...

you've told me you love me.

It's the biggest breakthrough
we've ever had.

So I just wonder,
how do I know you won't follow it up with...

My biggest-ever disappearing act.

[hesitates] Chloe...

I would never choose to abandon you.

- But you can't know that.
- Yes, I can.

Because it's my choice.

Okay...

Like... like it's your choice
to whip out your wings right now?

Like it's your choice
whether or not to let me in?

- [gunshot]
- [gasps]

- [Lucifer grunts]
- [Chloe gasps]

Lucifer.

- [exhales]
- What's happening to me?

You know, I wore this for so many years

because it proved that you chose
to be vulnerable around me, but...

But now it's not you that decided that,
it's your subconscious.

Your... your subconscious
chose to... to have a devil face

or to bring out your wings.

And... and reading all of this,
I mean, seeing it all laid out,

I just wonder...

if your subconscious
might choose not to stay.

No.

No, I'm sorry, but I don't accept that.

I've changed.

I've... I've grown. I mean,
it's all in here, isn't it? [chuckles]

It's...

What?

What is it?

There's something wrong with this book.

[sniffles]

Gather round, people.

The doctor has deceived us all.

This manuscript that she's brought
cuts off mid-sentence.

Because you didn't bring
the end of the book with you, did you?

You know what?

It's true.

I kept the end of the book in my office.

But if this book is
a case study on Lucifer,

all of the important
psychological insights

would be in the last chapter, right?

So... so why are you hiding it?

It is my job
to guide patients on their journey,

not give them the answers.

Wait a second, the world is ending,

and you guys are all
still keeping secrets from each other?

- What is wrong with you people?
- [Linda] Nope.

None of this was my idea.

No one was supposed to read my manuscript,

least of all
the patient that I was studying,

because it's a first draft!

Maybe years from now,
when the book is published...

She's gonna publish this?
My parents are gonna see this!

Shut up, Daniel, this is not about you!
It's about me.

[gasps]

[exhales] You held back
the end of the book...

because you think I'll fail, don't you?

My own therapist doesn't actually believe
that I'll become God.

- [Mazikeen] Guess the party's over, huh?
- [sighs] Yep.

[sighs] Dude, that is literally
the most depressing thing I've ever seen.

Turns out
I didn't have anywhere else to go.

Yeah, well, I do.

Yeah.

[sighs]

Okay.

So let's skip the usual foreplay
and get straight to the main event.

Okay?

If you saw
the moment of your death in Hell,

that's the key.

You relive your death,
you find your guilt.

Yeah, I've been there, done that.

- Didn't learn a damn thing.
- Mnh-mnh.

That cold, gnawing fear
in the pit of your stomach...

Feel that?

Yeah.

That's your guilt.

Now you can spend the next thousand years
running away from it like a weak human,

or you can dig in...

and sniff that shit out like a demon!

[screams]

[grunts]

- [panting]
- [gunshot]

[exhales]

- [gunshot]
- [exhales]

Maze, I think you cracked it.

I know what I need to do.

[Chloe] Oh, hey.

Don't even know why the doctor's bothering
to bring back the rest of the book.

I'm not capable of real change.

- Lucifer, that isn't true.
- Isn't it?

I mean, at least I don't think it is.

What I do know is how much
you've grown since I've met you.

But not enough.

Honestly, I... I don't know if it's enough.

What I said back there, I was scared.

You know, I am scared.

[scoffs] I know you don't think you'll
disappear, and I wanna believe that,

but if you're wrong,

and I'm gonna be a mom with two girls,

working at the LAPD.

[hesitates] You're going back to the LAPD?

I know.

I know it wasn't our plan,
and I understand if you're upset.

No.

No, I understand.

[chuckles]

I mean, it's who you are, isn't it? Hmm?

My detective. [chuckles]

[exhales] I could never
be upset with you about that.

And while there is a remote possibility

that I may idolize you
a little too much... [chuckles]

...I do know you're an amazing mother.

I wasn't an amazing mother to Rory.

- What do you mean?
- Just look at her wings, Lucifer.

I mean... [scoffs]

I just think,
did I not protect her enough?

Did I not make her feel safe?

How badly did I screw up

that I made our daughter
self-actualize as a weapon?

Oh, right, yes.

I wonder where Rory got
her persecution complex from.

[chuckles] Certainly not from the angel
who literally invented teenage rebellion.

Blade wings? Devil face? [scoffs]

- It's all the same, isn't it?
- [scoffs]

[Rory] No, it isn't.

[Chloe] Rory.

Rory!

- [Chloe] Uh...
- Hello! [chuckles]

- What... what are you doing here?
- Mom said you guys were saving the world.

I thought I'd stop by
to see how it was going.

Gotta say, I kind of wish I hadn't.

Hindsight's a bitch, huh?

- [gasps] Rory.
- Wait, Rory, hold on. [splutters]

I think... we...
we think your wings are amazing.

I just... I hope that you didn't

feel that you had
to fight or protect yourself

when you were younger. Uh...

As your mom, I... I hope
that I always made you feel safe.

[laughs]

I... I don't have these wings
because of something you did wrong.

I... I have them
because of something you did right.

I mean, all my life,

I watched you stand up for justice.

I love these badass wings

'cause they remind me
of the person I admire most.

My mom.

[exhales] Really?

Really.

These wings are like,
they're one of a million

wonderful, powerful things
that you gave me.

Unlike him.

[chuckles] Well, your angel dad probably
had something to do with your wings.

- Right.
- Lucifer left both of us.

How can you still defend him?

Well, Rory, I mean, your...
your dad is flawed.

We all are, and...

I mean, although I'm nervous
about what the future holds, I...

I guess, deep down,
I just really trust him.

Why? He doesn't even trust himself.
He doesn't know his own feelings.

He had to get hit by a bullet
to figure out he cared about you.

Yeah, I heard you guys talking earlier.

- That's not necessarily fair.
- [Lucifer] No.

She's right. [gasps]

She is right.

Lucifer, what are you doing?

What's this supposed to be?

[gasps]

I know how I feel about you,
and I am going to prove it, young lady.

I am gonna make myself vulnerable
right here, right now, for you.

So go on, shoot me.

Okay, we do not shoot people
in this family.

I don't know, Mom.
I think we established we totally do.

[cackles] I think she's got you there.
Move aside, please.

I am your father,
and I demand that you shoot me!

[Chloe] Rory, don't listen to him.
Just put down the gun.

Ah-ah-ah-ah! It's the only way
she's gonna believe me.

Come on, Rory.

You've wanted to hurt me
ever since you got here.

Now's your chance. Pull that trigger.

- Come on.
- [gun cocks]

- Go on, shoot me!
- [gunshot]

[scoffs, gasps]

[panting]

I knew he couldn't do it. [gasps]

[gasps, gulps]

[chuckles]

- [thuds]
- Lucifer.

[Lucifer cackles, grunts]

[panting]

Don't you two ever
do anything like that ever again.

Promise. [laughs]

- It worked.
- [Lucifer] Of course it worked.

You're my daughter.

And I love you.

[elevator bell dings]

[Linda] You asked for it?
Well, here it is!

Lucifer.

Are you bleeding?

Yes, I am! [chuckles]

But don't worry about that.

Hand it over.

It's time to see
how this story really ends.

Thank you, Dr. Linda.

In the five years
that we've worked together,

it's you who has given me
the insight, the wisdom,

to ascend the throne of Heaven.

Some might say you've been a godsend.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

I, Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil,

have returned to Heaven
to rule as God Almighty.

And it's all thanks to one woman.

A woman with the mind of a genius,

the patience of a saint.

A woman I adore with all of my heart.

The greatest therapist
the world has ever known,

Dr. Linda Martin, MD,

PsyD, PhD, MA, MPhil,

Master in Science, Master in Technology,

Master of the Universe, Ma...

This is preposterous.

[chuckles] I mean, socks with sandals?

What? Your dad wore them.

But, Linda,
is this what you really think happens?

I don't know what's going to happen.

I've been the therapist to the Devil
for the last five years,

and I still couldn't
get him ready to be God.

- [hesitates] I'm a failure.
- [Lucifer sighs]

So I wrote a fake ending
to make myself feel better.

Okay, so seriously, why are you bleeding?

Oh, my daughter shot me.

What?

No, don't worry.
It was completely consensual.

I self-actualized vulnerability
to prove a point.

Lucifer...

your conscious and subconscious mind

are finally acting in concert.

Do you know what this means?

That...

I no longer have to let my wings choose
whether or not I'm gonna be God.

[gasps]

[Chloe] So...

you're finally ready to be God.

I am.

I am ready to be God.

[inhales, exhales]

But I'm choosing not to be.

What?

Reading the doctor's
ridiculous denouement,

reliving everything that
we've been through here on Earth,

seeing how certain you are
about who you are, what you are...

It's made me realize, I...

I don't want to be God.

- [Linda sighs]
- So I'm not going to be.

I mean, I think, deep down, I've...

I've always known
it wasn't really my calling.

I... I...

I've no idea what my calling is,

but I do know it's not me being God.

I hope you're not
too disappointed by that.

No, I'm not disappointed.

I could never be
disappointed by who you are.

I told you, I trust you.

I have no idea why
you always have so much faith in me.

[chuckles]

[Rory] I do.

I mean, my whole life I listened to Mom
talk about how much she loved you.

Uh, kind of felt sorry for her, honestly.

But reading this,
I get to see things from the other side.

- [gasping]
- Chloe.

I don't wanna die.

I won't let you.

- [gunshots]
- [shouting]

If you're up there,
all I ask is that you protect Chloe.

[screams]

["Found" by Jacob Banks playing]

Detective! No!

[grunts, gasps]

You're okay.

- [thudding]
- [gasps]

♪ What do I put in a hole
Inside the ground? ♪

♪ Oh, I'm falling higher ♪

♪ Flying deeper ♪

♪ Oh, the love I found ♪

♪ What do I do with this smile
Trapped in my mouth? ♪

♪ How do I prove
There's a ghost this time around? ♪

♪ It's like catching fire ♪

♪ Walking on water ♪

♪ Oh, the love I found ♪

♪ Say the word
And I'll burn it all ♪

♪ Play the chord
And I'll bleed some more... ♪

I choose you, Chloe.

Because I love you.

It's, uh, good to know that he loved you...

Loves you back.

Rory, I hope that you know now

that he feels
the exact same way about you.

Yeah, I think I do.

The emotional progress you're
all making here is really so beautiful.

But, you know, it almost makes me forget

about the whole
"end of the world" situation.

Oh, right, that. Buzzkill Doctor.

[sighs] Well, don't worry.

I'm sure, uh,
Amenadiel will figure it out. [chuckles]

He always does.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So...

Thanks for picking me up.

Yeah.

Sorry I...

kind of ditched you at the wedding.

Big emergency.

You ever have one of those friends that,
every time they have a problem,

it winds up becoming...

The end of the world?

Yeah, well, I'm...
I'm really glad that you get it

because I've got five of those.

Six, I guess.

[sighs] Just so you know.

Okay.

So what's the word, then?

Is the crisis averted or...?

Not yet.

But, you know,
given everything we've been through,

I'd say I'm cautiously optimistic.

- Good.
- [Ella sighs]

I'm so sorry, I know...

I know that's like,
"Welcome to Vague Town, population you."

Carol, I really wish
that I could tell you more.

I... I do, but...

It's just not my secret to share.

[chuckling] Ella...

That's fine.

I know who you are.

And... and I trust our relationship,
so you don't have to...

You don't have to worry about that.
We're good.

Listen, you... you don't have to know
every little detail about someone

as long as you already know their heart.

Right.

Right.

Couldn't save the world.

Didn't even realize
that my client of five years

didn't wanna become God.

[scoffs]

The world's greatest therapist, my ass.

- More like "World's Biggest Fraud."
- [scoffs] Doctor, sit down.

Now, you may not have helped me
ascend the throne of Heaven,

but you did help.

- Really?
- Yes.

You have helped me
learn to put others first.

You helped me repair relationships
that had been broken for... [groans]

...well, millennia.

You've helped me truly connect
with the love of my life.

Dr. Linda Martin,

"P-h-y" and all those things. [laughs]

In our time together,

you managed to do something not even
God Almighty was able to accomplish.

You've made me a better man.

Thank you, Lucifer.

That's the best compliment
a therapist could receive.

[exhales]

- [sighs]
- Mmm.

Doctor.

- Doctor!
- [gasps] Sorry. Whoa. Sorr...

[sighs]

- It's just been the longest day ever.
- Hasn't it?

So, if you'll excuse me,

I have a very important appointment
with a warm, soft bed.

A well-earned rest.

["I Just Want to Thank You"
by Big John Hamilton playing]

♪ I-I-I... ♪

[laughs]

♪ Just wanna thank you... ♪

[sighs]

♪ For this feeling that I feel ♪

♪ I-I-I... ♪

♪ Just wanna thank you... ♪

- [sighs]
- [wings flap]

♪ I just wanna thank you... ♪

I know why the world is ending.

We need to talk.

[sighs] Bollocks.