Lucifer (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 25 - Boo Normal - full transcript

Hey.

How's it going, Frank?

You still kicking
that hernia's butt?

Nice.

Morning, Jane.

Talk about a buzzer-beater
last night, am I right?

Bam!

Hey, guys.

Morning.

- Oh, I like your hair today.
- Thank you.

Tough break, Beth.



But we're gonna figure out
what happened to you.

Hey, little brother.

You did what?

They said that?

Well, that's never gonna happen.

Seriously?

Fine, okay.

Dude.

What are you doing?

Well, this macro lens
gets so much more detail

- than my phone camera does.
- Gross.

Oh, someone's
a crabby-pants today.

How's it going, Ella?

Couldn't be better.



Really?

Sorry, my brother just called.

Ah, right.
Well, family are the worst.

- Crab away.
- Well, apparently,

uh, my brother moved back
to Detroit a week ago.

And did he bother to
give me a heads-up?

Uh, no, señor.

Not to mention
that he's the reason

I moved out to L.A.
in the first place.

And now my whole family wants me
to move back home, too.

Are you considering
moving back home?

Well, I mean, you guys know
how much I love it here, but...

they're my family.

So, you know, yeah.

Well, Ella, you know, I'm... I'm
trying to be supportive, but...

Well, I'm not.
Don't you dare go.

I may not have a choice.

Everyone has a choice, Ms. Lo...

Anyhoo, um,
so much going on here.

- Let me show you.
- Mm-hmm.

This right here is Dr. Beth
Daly, child psychiatrist.

Looks like blunt force trauma.

Someone hit her over the head?

Yes, and yes, but there's
so much more to it than that.

From what I can tell,
the killer was standing here

when they grabbed
their murder weapon.

You see this spot in the dust,
right here?

Fallen books,
and only one bookend.

So she was killed with
the missing bookend?

Mm, yes and no.
So the bookend...

made her woozy, right?

And then, she stumbled,
slipped on this toy train,

grabbed this chair, fell back,

hit her head on this table and
bang, that's what killed her.

Oh, bravo, Ms. Lopez.
See, that's another reason

why you shouldn't leave.

Crime scenes would be
so dull without you.

Thank you.
But wait, there's more.

- There always is.
- I found

a weird clump of hair
under Beth's nails.

- It's all gunky, too.
- Is that blood?

Mm, I can't really tell yet,
there's not enough of it.

I got to get it
back to the lab.

Hmm. Oh.

Well, looks like there's a smear
here, like somebody tried

to wipe away some blood.

Good eye.

I'm thinking maybe the
girl who called it in?

Yeah.
Beckett Wilson.

She was the doctor's
next patient.

She found the body,
she was pretty shaken up.

Talk about shock therapy.

Well, I mean, wiping
blood off the wound

is consistent with someone
who cares about the victim.

Well, Dan took Beckett to
the precinct to calm her down,

so I'll go check in with them.

Okay, and I'll check
in with the lab,

- see if they can rush this hair.
- Great.

All right.

I will check in
with the nearest pharmacy.

No, she still
isn't talking.

Poor kid's pretty traumatized.

No, I don't see any blood
on her hands or her clothes.

I'll ask her.

Bye.

Hey, Beckett?

When you found the body,

did you maybe try to
wipe up any blood?

I don't think I did.

But it's all so fuzzy.

Hey, it's okay.

We'll just talk later.

Is there anything
I can do now?

A Slurpee would be nice.

A Slurpee it is.

- See you, Frank.
- You, too.

What's this?

You don't possibly
think my son could've done this.

No, Mr. Rodriguez,
Felix is not a suspect.

He doesn't fit the
forensic's profile.

However, we did look
at Beth's appointment book,

and he was scheduled
for much earlier this morning.

So do you have any idea
why he was still here?

Of course I do.

He brought his violin
to his appointment this morning,

and he left it there.

The office isn't far
from our house,

so I let him ride his bike
back to get it.

Well, we think Felix got here
shortly after Beth was killed.

So we'd like to speak to him,
see if he saw anything.

Well, that might be tough.

Uh, Felix is... shy.

He struggles
with communication,

social skills.

That's why he was
seeing Dr. Beth.

Mm.

I don't know
what we're gonna do without her.

I mean, she's helped
Felix so much.

He's thriving
in school,

he's got all kinds of new
friends and-and interests.

He's like a totally
different kid.

He's just still not
very open with strangers.

I see.

Hey, buddy.

Can I help you get that off?

You know, when I
was about your age,

I was in a car accident.

It was pretty bad.

I saw lots and
lots of blood.

I know how scary
it can be.

But you're gonna be okay.

I promise.

I didn't see who did it.

Okay. Thanks for telling me.

Oh, my gosh, mijito,
are you okay?

- What happened?
- Hey, let's just get Felix home right now.

I'll explain everything
when we've all calmed down.

Here's my card.

If Felix thinks of anything
else, or mentions anything,

please, feel free to call me.

- All right.
- Thank you.

Well, aren't you
a little strange one?

I know you are, but what am I?

Ray-Ray?

What are you doing here?

Now, is that any way to greet
one of your oldest friends?

Okay, hi.

We kind of sort of
agreed to never

- see each other again.
- Did we?

I don't remember putting
such a fine point on it.

We did, we did. Super fine.

Five years ago, in Detroit?

I know you remember.

Look, I'm sorry.

I just... I miss you.

Okay, it's not that I don't
miss you, too, okay?

I just thought that
this part of my life was over.

The part with you in it.

It's just...
it's a little too weird.

Okay? So please,
just go away. Just...

Hey, sorry, uh,
should I come back another time?

No.

Good.

I'm all good.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm-I'm fantastic,
actually, just, you know,

talking to myself.

Mm-hmm.

- You sure you're fine?
- Fantastic, actually,

you know,
just talking to myself.

Uh, uh, to this evidence.

Wish it would just
go away.

Wish it would go away, why?

Because it just showed
up out of nowhere.

Just... poof.

- What?
- Yeah, so, you remember that,

um, weird clump of hair
that I found on the vic?

Well, it turns out

that it's a synthetic fur,
used to make anything

from carpets to,
uh, plush toys.

Okay, but it was found
under Beth's nails, right?

Which still implies a struggle.

And there was blood on it?

Nope. Turns out
that it was ketchup.

Even though there wasn't a
scrap of food in the joint.

So, uh, like I said, it
just came out of nowhere.

Do you see why
it's so annoying?

Okay, I'm gonna go
search Beth's house.

Maybe I'll find a match
to the fur there.

Great. Uh,
I'll join you.

You're trying to
avoid me, aren't you?

Nope. No, I am not.

- La, la, la, la...
- Come on, Ellz, let's just hang for a little bit.

No. You're a ghost.

Not to be biased,

but ghosts
are pretty frickin' cool,

and you being able to see them

makes you extra
frickin' special.

Okay, first of all,
I see a ghost... a ghost... you.

And yes, as a kid,
I did feel special, okay?

But special or not,
it's not normal.

And since when
do you care about that?

Normal is boring.

Since Detroit.

We agreed, both of us,

that this wasn't good
for me anymore, okay?

I really like who I am in L.A.

I'm just this super happy
open book.

It feels really, really good
to have no secrets.

Okay, then,
tell everyone about me.

Don't hide your Ray-Ray of light
under a bushel, baby.

Yeah, I tried that, remember?

Remember Laurie Dupont's
slumber party,

when they wrote "weirdo" on me

in shaving cream?

Remember that time that
that shrink thought

that I was legitimately crazy
and put me on all those meds?

We can't be friends, okay?

It's just... it's too hard.

Anyway, I have to
get back to work.

Wait. I... okay, uh, I
didn't want to say this,

but the reason why I'm here

is to help you with,
you know, work stuff.

Why would a ghost want
to help me with work stuff?

Ooh.

Do you know the victim?

Like-like, from the ghost world?

Yeah, I do.

Okay, so why didn't you
lead with that?

Uh, ghost rules.

Um, can't share stuff

that you don't already know
from the living world.

Ghost rules? You've never
mentioned "ghost rules" before.

Well, you know,
I-I never had to.

Okay, fine, so when this case
is over, you will go away again?

Fine, you can come with, okay?
But just lay low.

Cool, man, you won't
even notice I'm here.

Okay.

I looked away
for one second, man.

How could I possibly
know what she was planning?

Uh, let me get this straight,

you were tasked with escorting
the young lady to the precinct

and she ran away
with your phone.

- Yes, with my phone.
- Ooh!

Clearly, Beckett manipulated me,

which means she wasn't
really upset

and could actually know more

about this murder
than we thought.

Daniel, this is
monumentally asinine,

even for you.

Oh, thanks, man.
I appreciate that.

And yes, I know, it's bad,
it's really bad.

I got to find
that girl, Lucifer.

And I-I wouldn't be here
if I wasn't desperate, so...

you gonna help me or not?

Of course, Daniel.

- You gonna make fun of me all day?
- Of course, Daniel.

Great.

Dang.

Crown molding, open floor plans.
I mean...

L.A. architecture is amazing.

Shh!

I didn't say anything.

Oh, um, no, no, no,
I-I stubbed my toe. Shh-ouch.

Okay. I'll-I'll take upstairs,
you take down here.

- Okay.
- All right.

Okay, ground rules.

No speaking
unless spoken to.

And in general,
just don't be creepy.

So no more watching you shower?

Okay, geez, I was kidding.

Holy crap. Look.

Dude, weren't you into that?

I was into
cosplay, actually.

Right. Hard to keep track
of all your hobbies.

Uh, yeah, I had all those
hobbies to distract myself

from the voice in my head,
aka you.

Can you please just
give me some space?

- Geez, no Ella love today.
- Oh, no.

I-I was just...
Look what I found.

Uh...

What is that?
Like, a mascot?

No, it's a furry suit.

I know, furries get a bad rap,
but they're almost never sexual.

I mean, most of the time,
totally wholesome.

If that's what
you were thinking.

- I'm thinking that's a big stain.
- A hundred bucks it's ketchup.

Which means Beth
was wearing this

probably shortly
before she died.

Also means that that fur clue
doesn't lead to a suspect.

I found something that might.
Listen to this.

That's it, Beth.

I'm gonna be the only one with
Wesley tomorrow night at SCC.

He's mine. This ends now.

Geez, threaten much?

Yeah, Beth and this woman
were fighting

over some guy named Wesley.

That's a solid motive,
but I checked the number,

it's blocked.

No worries. She said SCC.

I know exactly
where to find her.

I don't think this
is gonna work, guys.

Just ask someone
if they know Wesley.

Pardon me.

Do you know anyone named Wesley?

Yeah, definitely not sure
this is gonna work.

Hey.

Could you ask Beth

to describe this Wesley dude
that she was trying to steal?

Um, I think that actually falls
under ghost rule no-nos.

Ray-Ray, come on.
This is important.

And you said that you wanted
to help your friend.

Yeah, okay.

Let me see if I can, uh,
communicate with her.

Yeah. Dang. Ugh.
I can't seem to get through.

What do you mean?

Uh, there must be some kind of,

like, a cell phone tower
or something.

Seriously?

You don't know Beth
at all, do you?

How could you lie to me,
Ray-Ray?

Okay, the reason
why I'm here is...

- personal.
- Personal how?

Let's just say I have
some unfinished business.

Wait a second.

Does Beth's death
have something to do

with why you're
still roaming the earth?

Yes, actually.

If solving this case
will somehow help you finally

cross over to
the other side,

then let's do this.

You'll be at peace,

and so will I.

Excuse me.
Do you know anyone named Wesley?

Oh, no, I ain't getting
anywhere near that drama.

This is the last time!

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, snap!

Chloe!

Get off of me!

LAPD. You're under arrest.

Look, we get it.

Jealousy can make people
do crazy things.

Whoever this Wesley is,
he's obviously important to you.

Important enough to leave
threatening messages

and who knows what else.

Wesley isn't a guy.
He's my fursona.

Huh?

Wesley Wolf is my O.C.

Original character.

And Beth completely copied it.

That is a major transgression
in our community.

So Beth stole from you.
That's still motive for murder.

No. I tried reasoning with Beth

the very first night
of the convention,

but she denied stealing Wesley.

It was infuriating.

I was upset, yes.

I even threw ketchup on her.

But I realized there was
no point in arguing.

She wasn't listening.

I just think that Beth
was addicted to conflict.

- Why do you say that?
- When I talked to her,

she mentioned that she had
just gotten into a fight

- with some other guy in her office.
- Did she mention who?

- Mm-mm.
- Okay.

Well, where were you
this morning at 10:00 a.m.?

I was at the convention,

leading a seminar on building
your fursona's backstory.

Is that a thing?

How would I know?
I'm a normie... normal person.

- Totally normal.
- Mm-hmm. Right.

Boo normal.
Hey, Ellz, check it out.

It's amazing this
modern technology.

Who'd have thought I could track
your phone using my phone.

Oh, by the way, J-2, Daniel.

- J... What is that?
- It's where we parked the car.

I thought I'd remind you 'cause
I know you like to lose things.

- You're hilarious.
- I know.

Let's just find the girl and
get the hell out of here, okay?

I hate these places.

What? Women on
adrenaline highs,

massive potential for
wardrobe malfunctions.

Please tell me you're
not that boring.

I'm not boring.

Look, I used to love
roller coasters, okay?

Until I was 12.

I took Suzy Jeffreys
to our park back home.

- She was the prettiest girl in town.
- Oh.

Took her to the Cyclone,
wanted to impress her.

I have no idea why I decided to
eat all those damn chili dogs.

Well, looks like you
might be able to relive

that lovely experience
today, Daniel.

What do you mean?

Beckett's on that?

- Of course.
- Hmm, it's high, isn't it?

Beckett?
You having fun?

On the, uh, scariest
ride in the park?

I just needed to calm down
after everything I saw.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Kind of.

Stop her!
Somebody stop her!

Ah. Where do you
think you're going?

Don't worry, Daniel.
I've got her.

Uh, wait.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait!

Oh, no. Oh, no. Ah!

Here we go.

Oh, boy.

- So, uh, what you doing here?
- Well...

With new information, like
this supposed fight Beth had,

I often come back to the
crime scene with fresh eyes.

Man, you must love
going to the beach.

We should, uh,
hit the old sandbox

after we crush this case.

Uh, once we crush this case,
you're crossing over. Right?

You're still lying.

You don't care about
this case, do you?

Well, you know what?
I care. I care a lot.

And I don't know why
you're here, Ray-Ray.

All right? I-I think it's time
that you leave.

I'm not lying. I-I am here for
personal, unfinished business.

It's just not about the case.
It's about you.

Really?

I know I agreed to stay away,

but, you know, sometimes I, uh,
sort of check up on you.

So much for boundaries.

And I heard you talking

to your brother on the phone.

I know you're thinking
about moving back to Detroit.

I knew it. You're here
to convince me

to move back home, aren't you?

No, actually, the exact opposite

because moving back to Detroit
is a terrible idea.

Okay.

That explains all the talk about
how great L.A. is, but why?

Because your freaking
leech brothers live there.

Hey. No one insults
my family, except for me.

- And they need me.
- They don't need you. They use you.

And the people out here,
they see how kind you are,

but they don't take
advantage of you.

The people out here don't know
everything about me, okay?

They don't know about you,
but my family does.

They know
and they still love me.

You know, the way
I look at it

is you've always looked out
for everybody,

but I think you deserve someone
looking out for you for once.

Well, that is a very
sweet thing to say.

And I guess I'm 10% less
irritated that you lied.

So is that the real reason
you're here?

To tell me not
to move back home?

Okay, that was not me.

Uh...

Why are you
hiding? Nobody can see you.

Nice one.

Okay.

Now kick him in the nards!

You let him get away.

Nope.

I got him right here.

Lovely, I love the, uh...
it really accentuates your...

Oh, my.

Daniel. Did you have fun?

Chili dog or not,
I hate roller coasters,

so thank you.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Thank you.

Yes, Gemma here gave
me a great deal.

200 for the price of 200.

So there's enough for
everyone at the precinct.

Where's...
where's Beckett?

Oh, that little girl
is so helpful.

- She's the one who introduced me to Gemma, actually.
- Hmm.

Yeah, she just ran off to get
us a couple of churro...

Oh.

In your face.

She read you like a book.

All day long you're making fun
of me for getting duped by a kid

and you lost her, too.

You lost her.

Oh, that's bad.

This is really bad.

Daniel, you don't happen to have
my car keys on you, do you?

What?

She took my badge.

Oh. Well...

good news is at least
I got your phone back.

That little bitch.

Fingerprints on the broom
are too smudged to I.D.

All I got were traces
of chalk and rosin.

- Rosin?
- Yeah, a substance with, like, a gajillion uses:

adhesives, soap, chewing gum,
hard to narrow down.

I think I got something.

This is surveillance footage

from the traffic light
near Beth's office.

This car sped away
after your tussle with that man

and was there during the fight
that Iris told us about.

- Sweet.
- Sweet.

Who is it?

Well, the license plate
and the driver aren't visible,

but we do have this.

It's a bumper sticker

from Rancho Middle School

where Felix and
Beckett attend.

Chalk on the broom.
I-It could be a teacher.

- I know.
- Hmm?

We know that there was chalk
on the broom, right?

Could be a teacher.

Mm, maybe, but which one?

Well, you know what else
rosin is used for?

A violin bow.

Didn't Felix leave his violin
in Beth's office?

Look up the music teacher.

There he is, Jonathan Burke.

You're good.

Okay. Yes, I-I was
in Beth's office,

but I'm really sorry
I scared you.

What were you trying to do?

Destroy evidence that
you murdered Beth?!

No, no. I was, um, I was going
to retrieve this.

A check for five grand.

I was worried that it would
lead the police to me.

What was the money for?

Felix is my best student.

He's the best student
I've ever seen.

The kid is destined
for stardom.

I was hoping that
he'd take me with him.

So, what? You were trying
to bribe Beth

because she was helping him
to spend less time on violin

and be more social?

The opposite. Beth recommended
that he play more.

Start homeschooling
and take private lessons,

leaving me behind.

So you were trying to bribe her
to change that recommendation.

It still sounds
like motive.

- Well, I have an alibi.
- Mm.

I was teaching ninth grade
chamber class

when Beth was murdered.

You-you can call the school.

If that's actually true,
then we're back to bupkes.

Unless Dan got a lead
from Beckett.

Beckett Wilson?

Well, it figures that
she'd be involved.

She a student of yours?

Was. The kid's a nightmare.

I nearly ran her over
this morning on her scooter.

She was ditching first period.

Where are Beckett
and Dan, anyhow?

What, Beckett?

Yup. I'm looking right at her.

Dan, where are you?

You were supposed to be
at the precinct hours ago.

I... uh, yeah.

Sorry. Battery.

What,
you couldn't run?

I mean, it is your car.

Oh, I'll get it back,
unlike your dignity.

I make mistakes, man.

But guess what?

So do you.
You're not perfect, you know.

You know what, man?

It's a big deal now.
All right?

I just talked to Chloe.

Beckett, she's a suspect.

So we got to call in
some backup.

Agreed. Agreed.

And I think we both know who's
best at hunting down humans.

No. No.

What'd you two idiots do now?

Um...

Let me
get this straight.

So, you lost a 14-year-old kid
and she stole your badge

and your car?

It's annoying, isn't it?

Well, it is
when she does it.

Listen, Maze,
I know torture's your thing,

but are you gonna
help us or not?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I have got
to meet this kid.

Excellent.

Lucifer said to
put it on his tab.

How old are you?

This old.

Maze.

- Stop!
- Easy, easy.

- She's a minor.
- No, no, not easy, Daniel.

This little hellion
deserves to be punished.

Okay, now I'm seriously
traumatized. Ow!

Maze, let-let her go.
Come here.

Do you have any idea how
much trouble you're in?

This is serious, Beckett.

You're a murder suspect.

What?

I-I didn't kill anyone.

Truth is, I didn't really
see much, either.

I just said I did
so I could skip class.

I'm in major trouble, huh?

Look, Beckett...
everyone makes mistakes.

As long as we learn from them
and we try hard to fix them.

Now tell me the truth
from the beginning.

- So Beckett was lying?
- Yes, ma'am.

At the time of the murder,

she was hustling some guy
named Rocco at a pool hall.

It checks out.

That's quite an act she was
putting on at the crime scene.

Right. That's the other thing.

Turns out Beckett's tears
weren't entirely fake.

I guess she's, uh, allergic
to fragrance, freesia?

She said Beth's office reeked of
perfume when she found her dead.

Perfume.

All right. Thanks, Dan.

So, I didn't exactly tell
Chloe the whole story.

Ah, no need.
We all make mistakes.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Hey, Ella.
- Oh!

Sorry. I'm a little
jumpy today.

I noticed.
What's going on?

What would you say

if I told you that I...

am thinking of,
um, new hobby.

Collecting protractors
or Star Trek phasers.

Which do you
think is cooler?

Um, well, I think
they're both really cool,

but... I know that
it's probably really hard

thinking about moving home
and I don't know.

Do you-you want
to talk about it?

Okay, well, I'm here if you do
and I completely understand

if you need to be
around your family.

Absolutely. But, Ella,
this place, all of us,

we won't be the same
if you leave.

I mean, I know I won't be.

Thanks.

Uh, so, what's up?

Okay, so I just got
off the phone with Dan

and I think I know
who our next suspect is.

Um, I'll catch up with you
in a minute.

Okay.

Just say it.

I understand why you
chickened out.

It was too risky, okay?

You do?

Yeah. You're afraid that
people, even nice people,

wouldn't accept people
who talk to dead people.

- But...
- No but. Okay?

You don't know what it's like
to tell someone the truth

and have them look at you
with pity in their eyes

like you're crazy.

And if my friends here
ever looked at me like that,

it would break my heart.

I think your
coworkers here

are real friends, like Chloe...

Chloe is the nicest person ever.

Okay? But she's all about things

that she can see
and prove

and I don't think
that she'd get it.

And the truth is, I don't want
to give her the chance not to.

Ray-Ray.

The neighbors have
a construction dumpster.

Holy smokes.

You know, I love
your perfume.

What is that? Freesia?

- Yes. Thank you.
- That music,

it's beautiful.

You must be so
proud of Felix.

He's so talented.

- Well, he never puts that violin down.
- Really?

My daughter, she goes through
interests like candy.

I can't get her to
commit to anything.

Commitment has never
been Felix's problem.

He loves his violin.

Once, he walked out the door
without pants,

but he still
had his violin.

So, he would never
leave it behind,

like at a therapist's office?

Oh, God no.
He sleeps with the thing.

Hmm. And how
did you feel

when Beth recommended that
Felix do homeschooling

so he could play
violin full-time?

I'm sorry,
but that's not right.

Um, Beth recommended that
Felix stay in his school.

In fact,
she was encouraging him

to branch out
with new activities.

At least,
that's what Anthony told me.

And where is Anthony now?

What the heck
are you doing?

Where would you hide
a murder weapon?

Not in your trash.
That is way too easy.

Your neighbor's trash, maybe.

But a construction dumpster?
Perfect.

You're really good
at this stuff, you know.

Even though it is, um, gross.

Yeah. I mean,
this is my thang!

And you know what they say.

One man's trash is
a forensic scientist's treasure.

One murder weapon,

with dried blood
from the victim to boot.

Duck!

I really wish
you hadn't found that.

Freeze!

Lower the bat, Anthony.
It's over.

We know Felix didn't leave
his violin at Beth's.

He followed you there,

and has been covering
for you ever since.

You don't understand.

I sent Felix to Beth
to help him,

not make him worse.

He doesn't have any friends.

He doesn't have a life.

"Play the violin more."

That's not normal.

You're right,
that's not normal.

It's amazing.

And that's what
makes him special.

Put your hands
behind your back.

Thanks.

I see ghosts.

Well, more like "ghost."

I see one ghost.

Okay, um...

I think I'm gonna need
a bit more.

Okay, so...

when I was eight years old,

I was in a really,
really bad car wreck.

And-and that's when I
saw her for the first time.

And at first, I thought
she was just a figment

of my imagination,
from the trauma.

But she kept coming back.

And-and-and then I thought

she was just an
imaginary friend.

But as I got older,
I realized

that she wasn't imaginary,
she was real,

because she felt so...
so real to me.

And that's when she
told me she was a ghost.

So I have a friend
who's a ghost.

Or at least... at least
I hope that's what she is,

'cause if it really is
just all in my head,

then I'm legit crazy.

Do you think I'm crazy?

No.

It-It's...

definitely
a-a lot to process...

but no, Ella,
I don't think you're crazy.

Honestly, I have seen

a lot crazier things.

Like, a lot.

And besides,
there is nothing that...

that you could tell me
that would change

they way I feel about you.

Come here.

You okay?

I've never been better.

Oh, and any news
on the move to Detroit?

Detroit schmetroit.

- I ain't moving back there.
- Oh...

Hell no.

Yeah, girl!

- Makes me so happy.
- Thanks.

- Good job tonight.
- Thanks.

Told ya.

See? I told you
your friends are great.

The best.

So... a deal's a deal.

I said I would leave after,
uh, this case was closed,

so I guess this is adios.

Uh, wait...
question.

If you say you're here
to look out for me,

is that what you've been doing
since the car wreck?

Sort of like a...
I don't know,

ghost guardian angel?

You could say I'm just a
friend who's got your back.

Well, I suppose you can
check on my back,

you know, once in a while.

But, seriously, don't
spy on me in the shower.

Deal.

Well, smell you later, Lopez.

Uh, what is that?

Well, I think
it speaks for itself,

but unfortunately,
I'm sworn to secrecy.

Hmm.

Well, you do you.

Oh, I always do.

Smell you later,
Lucifer.

Uh, Ms. Lopez?

Hmm?

Since when do you use
that particular turn of phrase,

"Smell you later"?

I've never heard you
say that before.

Oh, it's just something
my friend Ray-Ray says.

I know you're here.

Come on,
time to show yourself.

Well, hello, Azrael.

What, too cool to
call me Ray-Ray anymore?

Well, endearing nicknames
are reserved for siblings

who didn't abandon me
for millennia, so...

I didn't abandon you.
I've been busy.

Oh.

I mean, you try being
the Angel of Death.

- A lot of people die, Lu.
- You're telling me.

Okay, I get it, you're pissed.

I should have
reached out to you

when Dad kicked your butt
down to Hell.

And I was going to,
but, you know,

a day turned into a week,
which turned to, you know,

a thousand years,

and then it just seemed weird.

Well, congratulations.
Weirdness averted.

Uh, you weren't there, Lu.
You don't know.

When Dad kicked you out,

the whole family was rocked,
me especially.

- Oh, really? Why is that?
- Because,

I lost my favorite
big brother, you dope.

Come on, Lu.

Remember when we
used to prank Amenadiel?

Please tell me he still has
that hilarious angry face.

Still angry.
Still hilarious.

Mostly, I just missed you
listening to me

drone on about whatever
was on my mind.

I know it may have not
meant much to you,

but it mattered
a lot to me.

Look, I-I'm sorry.
I-I made a mistake.

But you started
a freaking rebellion, Lucifer.

Nobody's perfect.

I suppose you're
right about that.

But why are you here now,

and how does Ms. Lopez
know of you?

Oh, that.

Oh, don't worry,
I'm not Dad.

I have no qualms with you
interacting with humans.

Well, come on.

Ella was in a gnarly car wreck

when she was young,
and I showed up to,

you know, do my
Angel of Death thing.

But what, false alarm?

It happens.

This time, I don't know,
I-I didn't want to leave.

I mean, you know Ella.

There's just
something about her.

She's so positive.
She makes you feel like...

Good about yourself.

Yeah! Exactly!

I only ever get to
talk to dead humans.

I mean, they're so morose.

Anyway, whenever I was
in the neighborhood,

I'd stop by, see
how she was doing,

and we became friends.

But apparently,
it's weird

if people talk to
invisible angels.

So I told her I was a ghost,
which didn't help.

So I sent her to be
out here with you.

You did what?

First, Dad puts
the detective here,

and now you're trying
to manipulate me with Ms. Lopez.

Why does everyone think
I need help meeting women?

Relax.
I-I didn't do it for you,

I did it for her.

Well, both of you, I guess.

See, since I couldn't really
be with her,

and I couldn't be with you,

I thought at least
two of my favorite people

could be together.

And that's the only reason
that you're here?

Pretty much.

Listen, Azrael...

- Uh, everything okay?
- Yes.

Yes. I was just wondering
how it's going

with my good friend,
Ms. Lopez,

as I just heard you'll be
staying with us a while longer.

Excellent choice,
by the way.

Yeah, I mean,
I was just, you know,

comparing DNA on a block
of regular wood

versus synthetic wood.

- Oh.
- So, the cells in the synthetic...

Sorry, you were probably
just being polite.

No, no, no, no.
Not at all.

Please, tell me more.
I'm all ears.

Oh, well, it's fascinating.

See, the plastic
preserves the DNA.

Right? But with
the regular wood,

the cells get soaked up,
kind of like, um,

like a parasite
fusing with its host, right?