Lucifer (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 11 - City of Angels? - full transcript

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What, have I mussed my suit again?

It's impossible to
keep clean, this thing.

You have wings.

Ah. Right, yes, forgot.

Bit of a conversation-stopper
for you humans, isn't it?

There we go. That better?



Ah.

You take care.

All right.

Nice suit.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

My grandpa had one just like it.

- Grandfather? But...
- Mm-hmm.

This was the height of
fashion last time I visited.

Hmm. You here for business or pleasure?

Oh, pleasure.

Always pleasure.

Oh, then you came to the right place.

Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off! Off!

Mm!



How can someone

who can literally control time

have such atrocious timing?

Toying with humans again, I see.

Oh, these poor creatures.

They know not what they do.

I beg to differ.

Everyone here is well
aware that they're doing me.

Enough foolishness.

It's time for me to
take you back to Hell.

As always.

Correction: allow you to
take me back, as always.

Please.

Everyone knows I'm the
strongest of God's children.

Uh, not everybody.

I mean, you've never
fought me, have you, huh?

Care to give it a try?

You know damn well that celestial beings

aren't allowed to
interact here on Earth.

Now, let's go.

It's dangerous for humanity
to be exposed to divinity.

Well, I wouldn't sit on that couch...

Left a lot of divinity there.

Enough!

Now, you can either deal with me,

or you can deal with Father.

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

Very well.

Well, at least allow
me to say my good-byes.

I mean, that's just manners,
isn't it? Not that you'd know.

Ten minutes.

Right.

Nice dress.

It's a robe.

You wear it well.

Humans.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

I'm just...

My necklace.

And this little demon went,
"Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee,"

all into the valley of sin.

There's been a change of plans, Luci.

Oh, G...

Oh. Not what I expected, but, uh,

all right, fine, have fun.

Just go in the other room.

Or not.

Sorry, are you going somewhere?

Uh... listen, I have an errand to run.

Why are there holes in your dress?

It's a robe.

Oh, I apologize.

Why are there holes in your dress?

Look, I don't trust you to see
yourself back to Hell, okay?

So I want you to stay
here for a few hours,

and then we'll go.

Oh. More time in L.A.

Lucky me.

You see, I respect
the rule of human law,

which is why I'm seeking your assistance

in a matter of utmost importance.

A robbery has occurred.

Okay.

What was stolen?

My necklace.

The estimated value?

It's hard to say, really, uh...

It's not of this world, so there's that.

Priceless beyond measure.

I'll just put down $40.

Where did the incident occur?

In an alleyway south of
"Cahunana" and Franklin.

Cahuenga?

"Cahunana" and Franklin.

Now, this thief was armed,

and, oh, yes, uh, I made a rendering.

And I do believe that this
should help you with your quest.

Okay.

So a jack-o'-lantern
stole your necklace?

So you know this man?

Where can I find this Mr. O'Lantern?

Did Paolucci put you up to this?

You know it's a crime to
file a false report, right?

You think I would lie?

What?

Sorry, excuse me.

Just two seconds.

Hey, honey, what's up?

I'm not gonna make date night.

Oh, that's all right.

My mom just called, and
she has to shoot tonight,

so she can't watch Trixie anyhow.

Well, I'm gonna be home pretty late.

You want me to pick up some dinner?

No, that's okay. There's
stuff for tacos in the fridge,

and we'll make it a thing.

We'll call it "Taco Tuesday."

Trixie will love it.

Cool.

So, what are you doing?

I caught a body on
Franklin and Cahuenga.

Really?

That's so weird, a guy just came in,

reporting a mugging near there.

I wonder if it has anything to do...

with your homicide.

Lucifer.

If only angels came
with a snooze button.

What? What is it, Brother?

A human shot me and stole my necklace.

Well, so much for not exposing
humanity to our divinity.

Which is why I need to
get it back, all right?

Oh.

Now, I tried to utilize
human law enforcement,

but it failed, so...

I need your help, Luci.

Oh, do you now?

Well, you've always been crafty...

smart...

Craftier, smarter than you.

Yes, and more handsome.

Go on.

And because you've spent
more time with humanity,

you may understand
them better than I do.

Well, most of that time, I was
naked, but true nonetheless.

Luci, are you gonna help me or not?

Hmm.

Okay.

But you have to follow me.

Detective Espinoza.

Excuse me.

Officer Decker.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How's it going?

Dan, not at work, remember?

Sorry.

Hey, remember the, uh, robbery

I told you about,
happened around the corner?

- Yeah.
- Um, so I searched the area,

and I found this.

It looks like a key fob.

I don't know to what, but it
looks like there's blood on it,

and... do you think this could
be connected to your homicide?

Could be, but even if it is,

all signs point to a random attacker.

- A serial mugger on a spree.
- Hmm.

Looks like my guy
resisted and ended up dead.

- That's the guy that got mugged?
- Yeah.

- He's built like a tank.
- Yeah.

And so is the guy that
reported the robbery.

They're the last two
guys that I'd try to mug.

Yeah, well, a gun can be
a pretty great equalizer.

I don't think this was random, Dan.

Okay, I'll look into it, but...

only when I'm done,
it's gonna be a while.

Okay, why don't I get a jump on it?

No.

Dan, you said to make detective,

I have to show initiative, right?

- Right. Right.
- Mm-hmm.

Let me know what you
hear, Officer Decker.

Oh, lovely.

Amazing.

Does no one work in this town?

Is this where thieves
come to spend their spoils

on wine and women?

Something like that, yeah.

Oh. Brother, listen to that.

Oh.

I haven't heard music like that since...

well, since the Silver City.

What, there's no music in Hell?

Only for torture, and
usually out of tune.

Lately, we've been playing
music by this chap named Bieber.

Gosh, you should hear the screams.

Why don't you go and, um,
grab us a couple of drinks,

and I'll do some reconnaissance.

Do you take requests?

What do you want to hear?

Uh, myself.

Thank you.

You didn't come here to
find this thief, did you?

You're just trying to
stall your return to Hell.

Oh, I really hoped to
get a few more drinks in

before you worked that one out.

Luci, this isn't some game.

Now, how many times
do I have to tell you?

Humanity should not be exposed to...

It's just a necklace,
for crying out loud.

You promised me that you would help.

And I am by distracting
you from the painful reality

that you're never going to find it.

found earlier today near
Cahuenga and Franklin.

The police have identified
the murder victim

as MMA fighter Aiden Scott.

Scott's body was found this morning,

the victim of an apparent shooting.

Luci, look.

His family has been notified.

Born in Lancaster, California,

Aiden Scott moved to Los Angeles...

What?

I know this man.

Uh, the runner, right before the theft.

What, you think he had
something to do with it?

Exactly, Brother.

Whoever killed this Aiden Scott
must also be the same thief

who tried to kill me,
and then took my necklace.

The LAPD currently have no leads.

How are we gonna find him

if his own kind can't even locate him?

Which is why I recommend drinking.

Coming up,

we will learn more about
the life of Aiden Scott

and who he left behind.
We'll talk to some of...

Actually, do you know,
I think I might be able

to help you, Brother, but I'm gonna need

more than a few extra
hours here on Earth.

Name your price.

Ooh, well, I can't actually
think of anything right now,

so how about a blank check,

cashed at a time of my choosing?

Agreed.

Well, say it properly.

Say it.

Deal.

Deal.

Right, come on.

Okay, how about that one?

Too douchey.

Too hick.

Ah.

Hello.

Don't you need some
sort of key to start it?

You know me, Brother.

I can turn anything on.

Obviously, "R" is for
reverse, not "really fast."

Hello.

What's going on here?

Uh, well, Brother,

when a man and a woman
really care about each other,

they do a special
cuddle for the cameras,

which they sell for money.

Luci, I know what porn is.

Oh, do you now?

Focus.

What I don't get is how this helps us

track down this thief, why are we here?

Well, two reasons, actually.

Uh, boobs.

Why am I not surprised?

No, remember that news report thingy?

Well, there was a
picture of our dead man

standing next to a very
distinctive décolletage.

You identified a human by her boobs?

Not any boobs, Brother.

These ones are very special.

That mole, those curves,

they could only belong to the
one and only Misty Canyons.

And exactly how does this
help me find my necklace?

Well, if we want to find Aiden's killer,

what better way to get information

than from his lover?

Trust me,

a church confessional has nothing

compared to pillow talk.

Oh, my gosh, that's her, in the flesh.

That's Misty Canyons.

Oh, my gosh! That's Penis Demilo.

Ha!

What is this, nirvana?

Do all porn stars reside in L.A.?

Right, how do I look?

Oh, come on, Luci.

There must be hundreds
of porn stars in Hell.

Sadly, no, on account
of all the good work

they do here on Earth, I assume.

Right, maybe she'll sign my chest,

or something else.

Sorry, it's a closed set.

I'm here to talk to Misty
Canyons about pillow talk.

Why didn't you say so?

Ms. Canyons.

Hi.

Lucifer Morningstar.

Can I just say that I am
a huge, huge fan of yours?

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.

L.A. Whorey. What a classic.

Aw. I really put my all into that one.

Yes, you did, didn't you? And it showed.

One might say that you were born for it.

Oh. Well, my dream is to sing,

but until then, porn pays
way better than waitressing.

Ah.

Plus, I kind of like it.

Goodness me, your
parents must be so proud.

I wish.

Well, they told me to do what I love,

and turns out I love sex.

Oh, so you're a rebel.

I guess so.

And if you really want to
rebel, move to L.A., right?

All I know is that I have
never been happier, freer.

Uh, we're ready for you on set, Misty.

Okay.

Well, if you ever do decide

to do something worthy of damnation,

I'd love to see you again.

Where's the rest of it?

Ooh, I almost forgot.

You must be the window washer.

Well, good thing,

because I was feeling dirty.

I am here to discuss a lost necklace.

So, you're a window-washer

jeweler?

No.

Well, this took a turn, didn't it?

Well, I haven't seen your necklace.

Was it made of pearls, by chance?

It's actually a rod.

Unbreakable, very special.

Time to see the family jewels.

What? No, no, no!

Y-You're not gonna find
my necklace down there.

The man who killed Aiden Scott has it.

What?

Aiden's dead?

Aiden was such a good guy.

He accepted everyone, you know?

I can't think of anyone
who'd want to hurt him.

Even the people he fought respected him.

He lost a lot.

But he never quit.

Aiden actually thought
he could win the fight

he had coming up, though,
which is why he was so pissed

when someone asked him to throw it.

Someone asked him to throw
that fight, but he refused?

For a ton of money, yeah.

But he didn't care,
he just wanted to win,

fair and square.

Whoever tried to bribe
Aiden to throw that fight

must have been pretty angry
when temptation didn't sway him.

Maybe the tempter killed
him in frustration,

and then took my necklace.

You have any idea who approached him?

No. I mean, the fight was
supposed to be tomorrow

at Rico's in Hollywood.

Maybe someone there would know.

Everyone's real torn up about Aiden.

We're like family here.

So, uh, you were close with him, too?

He was a scrawny little thing
when I started training him.

But one dedicated son of a "B."

Nothing could stop that guy.

Well, almost nothing.

Uh, do you know if Aiden
ran the same route every day?

I think so. Why?

Well, 'cause if somebody
wanted to kill him,

you know, they'd know where he'd be.

I thought you cops were saying
this was just a random robbery.

Did you notice any unusual
behavior with Aiden lately?

Uh, arguments, grudges?

Well, actually, there was
one guy he butted heads with:

a promoter, Tio Sorrento.

Sketchy guy. Never paid his fighters.

Tio and his tattooed buddy
got into it with Aiden

a couple weeks back.

But I didn't think anything of it.

You know where I can find him?

I could get used to this place.

So what's the plan?

Lucifer!

What's the plan?

I...

Plan is to get a drink.

Can't think when I'm sober.

Hello.

Apparently, they have, uh,

12 different types of whiskey.

Yes, humans are funny

with their infinite
capacity for distractions.

It's not distraction, Brother.

It's choice.

LAPD! Freeze!

Excuse me.

If you're through with your distraction,

I'd like to find my necklace.

Two fingers of your finest
Scotch, please, neat.

And, uh, who looks after the fights?

Tio Sorrento. Everything
goes through him.

Thank you.

Apparently, you arranged the fight

that a recently deceased Aiden Scott

was going to wage.

Let me guess.

Your fighter wants on
the card tomorrow night.

My fighter? But...

Oh, yes. No, Amenadiel
is quite the warrior.

Undefeated in battle,
one of God's finest.

Actually, that's true.

How come I've never seen you two before?

What's your name?

Lucifer Morningstar.

- Pleasure.
- Where are you two from?

- Down south.
- Up north.

Sorry, I don't book strangers.

I'm afraid I must insist.

You just knocked out the
former heavyweight champ

with one punch.

Like I said,

God's finest.

My man.

How does this plan help
me get my necklace back?

Well, our killer/necklace thief

undoubtedly murdered Aiden Scott
for refusing to throw his fight.

So, in order to flush out

our killer/necklace thief, we
need to get them to approach you

the same way that he or she
approached our dead fighter.

It's quite simple, really.

- Or stupid.
- Yes.

Well, the jewelry recovery playbook's

a little thin here, Brother,

so unless you have any better ideas...

Didn't think so.

But why do I need to train, Luci?

I am the Silver City's greatest fighter.

Again, disputable.

You raised a few too many eyebrows

with your one-punch knockout.

So no more displays
of celestial strength.

If we want to be approached,

then you need to learn
to fight like a human.

ÿComprende?

Okay.

Give us your worst.

Go!

Uh, uh-uh! No.

No cheating.

Eh.

Very good.

Finally.

Lovely. Yes. Yes.

Yes.

There we go.

Oh, Brother.

Your fighter looks good.

Well, I certainly hope so,

'cause I'm ready to make some cash.

Which is all I really care about.

Cold hard cash.

Win or lose?

Whatever it takes.

So he'd take a fall?

For the right price.

Rumor has it that Aiden Scott
was offered a hell of a deal,

so we want the same.

Well, that someone is me.

Lovely.

Dan.

Hey, what's up?

- Hey.
- Who's that?

One of Tio Sorrento's thugs.

The, uh, fight promoter
you were telling me about.

Yeah. Who was seen
arguing with Aiden Scott

just before he was killed.

Tats here has multiple warrants out,

and after a little squeeze, I found out

that Tio fixes fights
for the Sarkisians.

As in the Sarkisian crime family?

Yeah, so what if Tio
tried to fix Aiden's fight,

and he refused, and
he killed him for it?

Well, I'd say that's a
pretty interesting theory.

I sense there's an "and" coming.

And I'd like to talk to Tio's lawyer,

- see if I can maneuver a deal.
- Not a good idea.

- Why?
- 'Cause you don't have

any actual proof yet, Chloe.

All right? If you're wrong,

you get nothing and Tio
knows we're onto him.

Dan, I'm right. I can feel it.

Chloe, we'll look into Tio.

But right now, you got to be patient.

Oh.

So, uh...

has he got your necklace?

He claims to not know it's whereabouts.

I suppose it's time to torture him.

So, you're up.

Look, just because I am the King of Hell

doesn't mean I actually
do the torturing.

I'm more of a delegator.

But I assumed this was going to happen,

so I popped back down
while you were in there

and brought up the best.

You remember Mazikeen.

Hello, human.

Where am I?

Who are you?

I'm a demon.

And I've risen from the bowels of Hell

- to torture you.
- I already told that other guy

I don't know nothing about Aiden Scott.

That "other guy" wouldn't
know a flanged mace

from this...

stabbing object.

I'm here for the truth.

You don't have to do this.

No.

I get to do this.

Asphyxiation?

Electrocution?

There are so many ways

I could hurt you.

I just can't decide.

Wow.

I'm on fire, aren't you?

No.

I thought Hell was hot.

Well, that human didn't kill anybody.

And he doesn't know where your
stupid necklace is, either.

Also a bit of a crier, it seems.

I hope you didn't go too hard, Maze.

He's not in Hell yet.

Oh, no.

Those are tears of joy.

Oh, so he's a masochist.

They can be quite tricky.

What did you use to inflict the pain?

- Nothing.
- Hmm?

In Hell, I have to use their own
guilt against them as torture.

The method is chosen for them,

but here, Lucifer...

infinite possibilities.

I got so excited,

I just had sex with him.

And then he wouldn't shut up.

Enough.

That man tried to bribe me into
throwing a fight, all right?

Now, he practically admitted
doing the same with Aiden Scott,

so he must be lying to you.

Nobody lies to me.

The human said he wanted to fix

the dead one's fight, but
someone beat him to it.

Said someone placed
a huge anonymous bet.

Half a million dollars
on Aiden Scott losing.

Whoever placed that bet

probably killed Aiden
Scott and stole my necklace.

Tio doesn't know who that is, either.

Said they only
communicated anonymously...

through burner phones and dead drops.

So Tio has no idea who this man is,

and no way of finding out.

Which basically means
your so-called torture

has been useless.

You want to go, bird boy?

Ooh, now this is getting interesting.

Luci, we still need to find this thief.

And you're not gonna...

Very well.

Whoever stole your necklace
tried to gamble on a sure thing.

So, maybe we could persuade
our thief to gamble on another.

So if we convince this killer thief

to bet on my fight instead,

and I take the fall I promise to take,

then we wait wherever the money
is supposed to be dropped off,

and then we see who shows up.

You are cleverer than you look.

Maze, do you think you can
persuade Tio to arrange that?

Where should I begin?

Excuse me... oh, no, no.
I'm good. Charlotte Richards.

Hi. I'm here regarding
your client Tio Sorrento.

I'm sorry, Ms. Richards, she just...

Oh, it's fine, Etienne.

I always have time for law enforcement.

You are law enforcement, yes?

Yes, I, um... I'm Officer Decker,

and I'm here to help Tio.

And what makes you think
that I need your help

representing my client? Hmm?

Uh, well, because we know he
works for the Sarkisian family.

- Mm-hmm.
- And he's also implicated

in the murder of Aiden Scott.

So if he agrees to speak with us,

we'll go easier on him.

Have you ever heard of
something called "leverage,"

Officer Decker?

If not, let me help you.

It's like pressure or influence,

and it's something that
you currently can't apply,

because none of what you
said actually resembles

proof of a crime.

Why do you say that?

Because when you're out
there writing traffic tickets,

I'm representing families like
the Lings and the Sokolovs.

Actual killers.

Alleged, anyway.

So it's going to take
a lot more than spunk...

Especially rookie spunk...
And a prayer to intimidate me.

You represent the Sokolov family?

And you also represent

Tio and the Sarkisians.

So, I-I thought the Sarkisians

and the Sokolovs were at war

over their bookmaking operations.

I wonder how they'd feel if they knew

that their lawyer was double-dipping.

You know, I'm-I'm new at this, so...

I don't know what the term
is for what you're doing,

but I think it's called "leverage."

Please have a seat, Officer.

Aw, thank you.

I didn't expect you to be so happy

to lose your first fight ever, Brother.

And to a human, no less.

Nice try, Luci, but we both
know this doesn't count.

- Ah.
- Not to mention the fact

that no mere mortal
could ever stand a chance

against the full power
of my God-given...

Forget it. I regret mentioning it.

Looks like you might
be up soon, Brother.

Luci, thanks.

- What?
- Thanks for your help.

I mean, I... will admit
that I was a bit skeptical

of your plan, but this
might actually work.

Yes, of course it'll work, Brother.

That's why you asked me, remember?

Someone crafty, smart...

And evil.

Evil?

Well, if you want to find
a deplorable criminal,

you just ask a... well,
you know what I mean, Luci.

Come on.

You are the Devil, after all.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a scratch on the card.

Please welcome a new
fighter to the cage:

Lucifer...

Morningstar!

You wanted the Devil.

Well, you got him.

Where's the human fighter?

Off to join the Renaissance fair,

whatever that is.

Apparently, he loves the mandolin.

So that leaves you

with big bad me.

Why are you doing this, Lucifer?

Well, who better than the Devil

to help you do something
so wickedly dishonest

as to throw a fight?

- You're welcome, by the way.
- This is pointless!

Well, we're finally answering
the age-old question:

"Who'd win in a fight, you or me?"

This doesn't count!

So be it, Brother.

So be it.

I'll make sure I tell
everyone in Heaven and Hell

how the undefeated warrior lost

to his loser, evil, little brother.

Oh, I guess you're not so
tough after all, are you, eh?

Daddy's boy.

See?

You're just as bad as me, Brother.

Pride is your sin, too.

Get up.

What am I doing?

Fight me.

No.

You see, I won't stoop
down to your level.

Because I am better than you are.

Fight me!

Winner by submission!

It's been, like, two hours, Chloe.

I seriously doubt Tio
Sorrento's gonna show up.

Especially now that
he knows he's a suspect

in Aiden Scott's murder.

He swore to Charlotte Richards

that he had nothing
to do with the murder

and that he'd help us find the killer.

So he's just gonna drop a
bunch of cash off into a locker?

Yeah, if that's what's
gonna clear his name.

And whoever picks it up

either killed Aiden
Scott or knows who did.

And if you're wrong?

Tio doesn't show up,

he alerts his bosses
about our investigation.

Our entire case against
them is destroyed.

You know, going to
see Charlotte Richards,

that was a big gamble.

And I want you to make detective,

more than anyone,

but I'm worried that this
is gonna set you back.

I know.

I know you are.

But sometimes this job is
about taking risks, right?

Besides, you know, my
gut tells me I'm right.

Most impressive, Brother,
swallowing your pride like that.

Hope you haven't spent
too long on Earth.

It seems to have softened you.

Luci, I just hope
whoever stole my necklace

won't take too long to
pick up their winnings.

The sooner I can grab
him and retrieve it,

the sooner I can leave.

I think we both

stayed here for far too long.

Killer/necklace thief alert.

Is that Gil,

the owner of the gym?

- Yeah.
- Ugh.

All right, I'll arrest him.

You grab Tio.

Gil. Drop the bag.

Where's my necklace?

Where am I?

Who are you? What necklace?

The one you stole from me.

Wait.

That was you in the street?

H-How'd we get here?

We flew.

Thought we needed a bit of privacy.

Who are you?

And you, I-I-I shot you.

And yet he's standing here alive.

It's shocking, isn't it?

Look, I-I don't want any trouble.

I'll get you a new necklace.

No, see, I want mine.

It's just a necklace.
What's the big deal about it?

Because my father gave it to me!

Look.

Taking the necklace
wasn't part of my plan.

So you planned to kill the other human?

No, that was a mistake, too.

Aiden was like a son to me.

I got into some money
trouble. I thought of a fix.

Aiden throws his fight.

We bet on it, take home a huge payday.

Both of us.

But the fighter didn't want
to play his part, did he?

He said he'd rather walk
away from it than throw it.

I went to try to scare him,

but Aiden fought back.

I panicked, I shot him.

Tried to make it look like a robbery.

That's when I saw you.

I-I didn't know what
you'd seen, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna ask you for the last time.

Where...

is my necklace?

It's in the gym.

It's in my safe.

Let's go drop him back at the beach.

Just a moment.

So you killed your so-called "son"

for refusing to play a part

in your plan.

Now, that is just pure evil.

And I should know.

Because I am the King of Evil.

No! No!

I did it!

I...

Where the hell did he come from?

I did it. I-I killed Aiden Scott.

I'm sorry, it's-it's all my fault.

I... I killed him.

Sounds like a confession to me.

Looks like your gamble paid off.

Luci, why are we back here?

It's time for us to leave.

We've been here on Earth long enough.

Yes, you see, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.

I'm not leaving.

What?

I'm saying that I've
realized something here

in this City of Angels.

That I really am no longer one anymore.

And if that's true,

then why am I still
trying to please Father?

Eons... eons... spent
condemned to my fate in Hell,

and yet I'm still trying
to seek His approval.

Still playing a part in His play.

Well, no more, Brother.

He abandoned me, so why
shouldn't I abandon Him?

It's time I fully accept
how everyone else sees me:

the rebel.

As a wise woman once said to me,

"If you really want
to rebel, move to L.A."

Stop.

Lucifer, as much as I am
moved by your sentiment,

unfortunately, that's a no.

You are coming back to Hell with me.

There's no discussion.

Yes, you see...

this is where it gets interesting.

We made a deal, didn't we,

for a favor to be named later.

Later is now.

And my ask, it's quite simple.

Leave me be.

You know I can't do that.

Well, isn't it a sin for
an angel to break a vow?

Oh, Luci.

Father will be furious.

And you will suffer His wrath.

Well...

then He knows where to find me.

This place could use a piano.