Lucifer (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 16 - God Johnson - full transcript

Previously on Lucifer...
- Everything I felt for her

was smoke and
mirrors, courtesy of Dad.

Did you sleep with me to
get intel on this case?

Of course.
- What are you doing here?

You don't let your girl go
into enemy territory alone.

The piece is here.

My last words were a clue.

A clue? A clue to what?

Well, you're the one who has
to figure that out, aren't you?

And you really
think that this is

the Flaming Sword?



It's so not flaming.

That's because only you,

my Lightbringer,
can ignite it.

That's it.
It's all I've got.

Okay. Then we'll fix it.
There's plenty of time.

Just not for me.

I do intend to
use the Flaming Sword

to cut through
the Gates of Heaven.

Once I do that,

I plan on kicking
Mom into Heaven

and slamming the
gates on her backside.

Won't God destroy her?

Hopefully, they
tear each other apart.

Then they'll both
get what they deserve.



I'm not the Devil, I'm
just a man who's delusional.

I made it all up.
I made it all... up.

I'm doing great.

Great.

Great is... good...

Okay, good talk.

Same time next week?

Uh, sorry, it's just that...

some of the
things that you said

in our last session

raised some issues for me.

Do tell.
So this secret plan

to cut through
the Gates of Heaven...

Well, actually, we've hit
a bit of a snag with that.

The Flaming Sword's kaput.

Now, we can't work out
what's wrong with it,

and until we can, we're in
a bit of a holding pattern.

Ah, that's a relief.
- Well, why would you say that?

God and His ex having
a fight to the death?

Sounds kind of bad
for, you know, humanity.

Oh, you'll probably be fine.

Probably?

That's not exactly reassuring.

What does Maze
think of your plan?

Well, I don't know.
I haven't told her.

Hence the secret part
of the secret plan.

She's your best friend.
- Yes, well,

as much as I love
my little sex thug,

Maze can do things that she
thinks are in my best interest

that turn out
to be, well, disastrous.

And I can't afford that.

Hmm.
- But the good news is

she's busy focusing on
her new bestie right now.

The detective.

They're practically inseparable.

Hey, roomie.

Where you going?
- Maze, hey.

Um, I'm on my way to
work. I'm running late.

Oh, no, but you haven't
had breakfast, come on.

♪ Mm! ♪

No, I'm...

Oh, yeah, no,
I'm not hungry.

Yeah, I know, the whole

boring domestic
thing... Not my jam.

I should stick to managing

the social part
of our friendship.

You want to kick
someone's ass? - Maze,

I feel like, you know, we've
been hanging out a lot lately.

And I think

perhaps we should expand
our circle of friends.

I got you, Decker.

Yeah? You do?

I smell what
you're stepping in.

Trust me.

You know, you should
give a Maze a call.

Hasn't it been a while
since you two hung out?

Tired of tripping over
her sex toys, are you?

I didn't say that.

I just think it would
do her, and me, some good

if she wasn't
around all the time.

Well, here's the thing.
Maze is like one of those

little baby birds that
imprints on whatever's near.

Sadly, that's you.
You are the new me.

I don't want to be you.
I just want some space.

Oh. Eventually Maze
will find her place,

but until then, what's the
worst that could happen?

Murder. Confirmed.

Blunt-force trauma to
the back of the head.

The victim got hit with
this backgammon board.

Not very sportsmanlike.

Hmm-mm. He was an orderly.

Toby Mulligan, 32.

Body was found here.
- Okay.

They interview the staff
or the patients yet?

No, not yet. It's a
psychiatric hospital,

so the staff didn't want
the patients wigging out

over the dead body.

They've been
busy moving everyone

to a different floor.

I love the mentally ill.

I mean, who isn't amused by
someone who thinks they're Elvis

or Napoleon or Wesley Snipes?

Who found the body?

God.
- Ah! See?!

God Johnson, he's a
patient. He's right in there.

The guy actually
thinks he's God.

He changed his
name and everything.

Oh. You two should have

a lot to talk about.
- Yes.

I would like to have a
chat with the Almighty.

Cool your jets, man, all
right? There's a whole bunch

of bureaucratic
hoops to jump through

to set up an interview.

The hospital administrator
has all the info.

Well, hello, God.

Hello, my son.

Right, yes, I suppose that
would be the standard way

to greet your children.

Nice touch.

What can I do for you?

Well, it's what I can do
for you that's exciting.

See, I can reveal the truth
about the Supreme Being

you've chosen to impersonate.

I bet you wanted
to be God because

He's benevolent,
all-powerful, yada yada.

But in actual fact,
he's a dick.

Look, if you want
to be angry with me,

you just go right on ahead.

I can be anything
you need me to be.

Right, enough of
this idle chit-chat.

Time to tell you what the
charade's really about.

What do you desire?

Hmm?

To avoid a vengeful ex-wife?

Years of back taxes?
What's your game?

Is this a staring contest?

'Cause, you know, I'm
pretty good at those.

How is this possible?

Oh, right, yes,
I bet you're on

some really amazing
drugs, aren't you?

If so, share-zies.

You're not supposed
to be in here.

Oh, never mind.

I'm done with
this fraud, anyway.

It was real
good seeing you, Samael.

What did you say?

Dad?

Has Dad ever
visited Earth before?

Not that I'm aware of.

And besides, why
would He do so now?

Mm. I don't know,
maybe because

we're plotting
to overthrow Him.

Even so, Luci, that's
not the way Dad operates.

If He has a problem,

He sends an
emissary, like me,

or maybe a burning bush.

So how does this God
Johnson know Samael, hmm?

My name.

Oh, wait, I know.

You do?
- The Internet!

It's truly amazing what
you can find online.

Have you seen
that video with the cat

that jumps inside the box?

Very funny, but I didn't even

introduce myself as Lucifer.

And there's
something strange about...

I can't explain it.

Because it's just crazy talk

coming from a
mentally ill human.

Well, there might be
another reason. - Right.

What's that?

Well, Earth is
His favorite toy.

Maybe He got fed up of
looking at it from afar.

I mean, it's not an
entirely awful place.

Even you have to admit that.

Now you're the one sounding
crazy, Luci, because Earth...

Earth is nothing
compared to Heaven.

Oh, come now, brother.

I think you've grown to
like the place, haven't you?

Come on, be honest.

When we return to Heaven,
there must be something

that you're gonna miss, eh?

Or someone, maybe?

Someone in tight leather pants
with a penchant for knives?

I'm referring
to Maze, of course.

Come on, guys.

Is it really so crazy?

I mean, what if God was one of us?

Just a slob, like one of us.

Exactly. Or just a...

A stranger on a bus.

My father would never
use public transport.

That song is
completely unrealistic.

What song?
- The song I hate

almost as much as I
hate these hypocrites,

like God Johnson.

Hypocrite?
Hmm, I don't know.

I see some similarities
between the two of you.

That man is not my father.

Well, good thing, 'cause
he might be our killer.

Whaaat? Oh, my God, Ella,
how do you know that?

I'll tell you how I know that,
because our victim was bald.

It's very hard to
get prints off a body,

so I whipped
out the ultraviolet

alternate light source,
and... boom, complete set

on the victim's noggin.

They match one Earl Johnson,

wealthy oil magnate
from Odessa, Texas.

Huh. It says here his wife
committed him a few months ago

after he gave all
of his money away

and started
calling himself "God."

Mr. Johnson never said that
he touched the victim's body.

Left out the
killing part as well.

And proving he's the
killer is the perfect way

to expose his false idolatry.

Right, shall we?

No, we shan't.

Because you spoke to
him without permission,

I had to apply
for a special hearing

just to interview him.

That'll take at
least a few days,

so thank you for that.

Hello, there.

I'd like a suite for
the evening, please.

Preferably one with a view.

Are you joking?

This is a psychiatric hospital.

Apologies, I'm skipping ahead.

Uh, I am the one and
only Lucifer Morningstar.

The Devil. Dark Lord?

Oh, for goodness sake, Beelzebub!

Look, I clearly need to
be committed right away.

Yeah, we're at
near capacity, pal.

So unless you're a danger
to yourself or others...

How's that?
- Great.

Lovely.

Dammit!

Who stole my pudding again?

Huh?

Markowitz?

Want a taste?

Don't you have
better things to do

than to raid our fridge?

I was about to leave
this place altogether,

but I hit an
unexpected snag.

Now I need to distract
myself with something.

Hello, something.

You know, just in
case I'm giving off an

"I have zero
self-respect" vibe,

let me make it clear.

Hands off.

I'd rather sit
at home alone,

and in the dark, than
to hang out with you.

Sassy.

I like it.

Deal me in, gentlemen.

Oh, and lady.

Buy in's ten
thousand big ones.

Oh, right, high
stakes. I like it.

Pig farts!

Crash and burn.

Oh, I see, you're
one of those. Right.

200.
- I swear,

I am gonna stab you in
the eye if you do not stop

dealing me crap!

Call.

I'm out.

Um, ten thousand, all in.

Fold.

What do you know
about God Johnson?

I like fire.

Right, never mind.

Maybe I can help.

I did see him perform
a miracle. - Really?

He scored me an extra
Jell-O at snack time.

Shh.

Useless.

Royal flush.

Cheater!
- Red pubic hair!

Mm-hmm.

Billy, what did I tell you

about throwing your underwear?

They're not mine.

Really? 'Cause you're naked.

Yes, I'm more of a boxer
briefs guy, but thank you.

Sorry about that.
You must be Lucifer.

I'm Dr. Garrity.

Oh. Yes.

Can we talk later?

I have to get him to his
electroshock treatment.

Really?

Just kidding.
- Yes.

You, this way. Come.

Very good. - Let's go
find you some pants.

Dad.

Aha! Of course,
you're the murderer.

Right, suppose I
should thwart you now.

Off to jail, cowboy.

No, please,
I have to save her.

What do you mean, save her?

It really is you.

You son of a bitch.

Why the hell would you
get yourself committed?

I did it to help
the investigation.

Hey.

What do you think?

It's a good
likeness, isn't it?

That's it,
I'm pulling the plug.

I'm getting you out
of here, now. - No, no, no, no.

You were the one who
said it would be difficult

to interview God Johnson.

So, I took some initiative.

I went undercover.

You must admit having an inside
man could be quite effective.

So, you're doing this

just to help the case?

Well, there may also
be some personal issues

I'd like to
explore with Mr. Johnson.

But yes, the main reason I came
was to prove he's the killer.

Is that why you punched him?

To force a confession?

Not exactly,
but he had it coming.

You see, Detective,

it turns out, he may actually
be my father after all.

You've decided that the lead
suspect in this investigation

may be your father?

I know that God Johnson
is not the killer.

And you know that because...

Because another patient

was attacked last night

and I saw
God Johnson heal her.

And here's me being
super-duper helpful:

before the orderlies

took the victim away, she
told me who did attack her.

Great. Who is it?

Santa Claus.

He's always been...

quirky, but now, he's...

I-I don't know. I'm-I'm
worried about him.

Well, Lucifer certainly
is an interesting case,

but I can't really discuss the,
uh, specifics of his diagnosis.

Now, is he your, um...

uh, fiancé?
I mean, uh, boyfriend?

No.

Lucifer's a co-worker.

Good, good. Well...

I'm sorry.

I mean, that's good to know.
That's, um, information,

which is helpful,
'cause it's informative.

Right. Yes, of course, yes.

Dr. Garrity?

It's time for music therapy.

Thank you, Nurse Kipsy.

I should get going anyhow.

Well, listen, um, if maybe, uh,

if you want to talk some
more, about Lucifer or, uh,

anything else, uh, feel
free, uh, to give me a call.

My cell phone number's there.

Thank you.

Okay.

Hey, Maze. What's up?

I'll give you one
chance to apologize.

Apologize?

You punched me.

Tell you what I can do:

I can forgive you.

Taking the high ground, are we?

Magnificent.

Well, I may have
struck the latest blow,

but that is only in response to
the litany of offenses that you,

dear old Dad,
have bestowed upon me.

So you believe me?
Good.

Tell me, just what is
it you think I've done?

Oh, we're going there,
are we? Right, let's see.

Um, casting me
into Hell for eternity

because you haven't got the
balls to get your own cowardly

hands dirty.

Manipulating me
with the detective,

giving me the
illusion of control.

You are a...

patronizing, sinister,

helicopter parent!

So you think you
have no free will.

Every bad thing that's
happened throughout eternity

is your doing, not mine!

It's all part
of "God's Plan."

Even Mum's coming here

and manipulation
of me was part of it.

Your mother's here?
- Oh!

Look who cares now.

Oh, my.

Oh, well, that is something.

I still remember the
first moment we met.

Mmm. There was nothing,
just darkness and...

then she appeared.

It did not take long for
us to light up the universe.

Much as I'm enjoying this
trip down memory lane,

I want an apology... nay.

Nay, I demand penance.

You must atone
for what you've done.

Now, that's not
the Samael I remember.

No.

No, Dad, this is who you
made me when you cast me away!

Now apologize!

Uh, Lucifer?

Guy sounds like
he wants to bang.

He's Lucifer's doctor, Maze.

So what?

Doctors don't want
to get laid?

Does everything always have
to be about sex with you?

Yeah.

He was just trying to be helpful.

We should invite him
on the booze cruise.

What booze cruise?

Tonight. I had
a friend set up a yacht.

You know, it'll be
like a hip-hop video.

You said you wanted to
expand our circle of friends.

That's not what
I meant at all.

Oh.

You want to ride
solo with Dr. McHotty.

I can get behind that.

Or on top, dealer's choice.

I'm kidding.

Okay, I'll set it all up.

You won't have to lift a
finger. Let me help you.

I don't want,
nor need, your help

with setting
up a date. I'm good.

Why not?

You and I are
flowing, Chlo. Same page.

Nope. Different
books altogether.

You crack me up, Decker.

ELLA ♪
What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us ♪

♪ Just a stra... ♪

Oh, my God, Chloe,
this song is so good.

Yeah, yeah. People seemed
to really like it...

in 1995.

Oh, my God,
and the music video.

Uh...
- Oh.

What's going on?

So, um, by chance,

have you found any evidence

pointing to, um...

Santa Claus?

I was gonna ask you
the exact same thing.

Really?
- Yes.

Long white hair.

Found it on the
victim's clothes.

Wasn't sure what it was, but
yeah, totally screams Santa.

I'll have it tested ASAP.

I could see if
you're mentally troubled,

you see someone with long
white hair commit a crime,

you could call
him Santa Claus.

Right?

Kind of like this guy.

Uh, yeah.

Dude looks exactly like
the creepy drunk Santa

at the mall
when I was a kid.

Too bad setting up an
interview would take forever...

without a doctor's permission.

Ooh.

A doctor's permission...

Yeah?

Hey, Maze.

You still want to help me?

Okay, so that was
"God" God back there?

As in capital "G"?

I didn't bow.
I should have bowed.

You should have
spit in His face.

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

Then you're no
use to me, Doctor.

What on earth are
you doing here anyway?

Chloe sent me to check on
you because she was worried.

But now, I'm worried.

Please tell me you're
not still planning on

having yourmom and
God destroy each other.

Don't be silly. That
plan won't work anymore.

Oh. Oh, good. Maybe
I should've curtsied.

Unfortunately, Dad
seems to be soft on Mum.

Like he still
has feelings for her.

Which gives me another
way to punish them,

far more tortuous than death.

And we're back
to "not good."

No, no, no, no,
this is better.

And you, my dear doctor,
are going to help me.

Okay, you've all been chosen

to help with a very
special mission called

"Operation Help Lucifer
Escape from the Hospital."

Mm, that's a little
on the nose, son.

You are literally the judgiest
person in the universe.

You know that, Dad?

Escape?

But we get pudding here.

Oh, look, I know
the puddings are good,

but there must be more
that you all desire.

I mean, come on, Pete.

I know desserts
aren't the only thing

that tickle your
fancy, are they? Hmm?

I do want to
watch it all burn.

Right.

Then fire away.

Oh...

Go, go, go, go, go.

Right.

I want to turn
the lights on... and off.

Good! Go!

I love a good rave.

Who's next?

I want to throw
underwear at heads.

Laundry room! Right? Go
forth, people. Come on.

Liberate yourselves.

Play to your strengths.

So this is your big plan
for busting us out of here.

Encouraging a man
to steal underwear?

No, no. That was
just for fun.

That is how we're
gonna escape from here.

Come on.

All right. It was
a pretty good plan.

Thank you.

You've got a, um...

Hmm?

It's just... come here.

Ah, right.

Uh, Linda, Dad.
Dad, Linda.

A handshake'll do,
my beautiful child.

Okay.

Right, are we finished? Come
on, let's get a wriggle on.

Let's go.

I've seen your mom
dress sluttier than this.

Okay, Maze, this
is an interrogation

disguised as a casual dinner.

There's no need to get dolled up.

Please don't tell me you made
reservations at somewhere fancy.

Opposite of fancy.

It's here.

Here. Why?

Well, duh, your bedroom's here.

Where else are
we gonna have sex?

For the last time, Maze,
we're not having a threesome.

I'm okay to watch.

Showtime.

Oh, an orgy?
Definitely off the table.

Lucifer?

What is it you
wanted to show me?

Well, now.

You are as radiant as
the moment we first met.

Explain to me
what's going on, please.

I'm trying to
recreate their first date.

You're... what? Wait.

You're trying to Parent Trap
God and the Divine Goddess?

What? It worked in the movie.

Don't you see?
With Dad here on Earth,

I don't need
the Flaming Sword

or a trip to Heaven
to exact my revenge.

Okay, but how is having them
fall in love again revenge?

Oh, trust me, Doctor, after
a brief re-honeymoon period,

they'll start torturing each
other like they always do.

Mum and Dad together are
their own worst punishment.

It's genius.

Do I know you?

Only since the
beginning of time.

What is this?

Where's Lucifer?

Aw, who knows.

That son of ours
is unpredictable,

to say the least.

Husband?

Is this really you?

In the flesh.

Oh! God...

You put me in Hell,
you bastard.

Uh, it's a great pizza.

Uh, never tried pineapple
and jalapeño before.

Yes, I know.

Uh, Maze has very
eccentric tastes.

I would, I would've
made something

if I had notice.

You know. Any notice.

No, no. I-It's great.

You know, I like
trying new things.

Meeting new people.
- Are you gonna eat that?

N-No. No.

So, um, Maze.
Uh, where are you from?

Hell.

By the way, I changed the
sheets on Decker's bed.

She's good to go.

Okay.

Excuse me. Maze, can I
speak to you for a second?

Oh.

I like the shape
of your head.

What the hell
are you doing?

I'm not Lucifer.

I don't need what he needs.

What I need is a friend.

You want your privacy.

Gotcha, Decker.

Psst.

Excuse my roommate. Sh...

No, that's, uh, it's
nothing compared to the, uh,

intriguing folks
I deal with at work.

I can imagine. I-I actually
would love to hear about that.

Why are you here?

I wasn't planning on having
sex with you again, but...

Whatever, right?

At least someone's
getting laid.

I'm not here
for sex, Maze.

Okay. Then, what?

I just...

There's not much time
before we're gone.

What, are you going
on a vacation?

I'm not sure I'd call what
Lucifer, Mom and I are doing

going a vacation, but...

Lucifer didn't tell you.

Tell me what?

I told you never to lie
to me again, Amenadiel.

Tell me what?

We're all going back to Heaven.

So tell me, how, how do you
have your job and stay sane?

Oh, uh...

Years of practice, um...

Drugs. Mostly drugs.

Mm.

But, um, but,
seriously, um, I just...

I try and see
beneath the DSM.

Try to remember that each
one of them is a person.

Yeah. I, uh, I saw this
older gentleman the other day.

Uh, long white hair.
White beard.

He reminded me
of my crazy Uncle Al.

You must be talking about Dale.
- Yeah, what's his deal?

Is he one of
the violent ones?

Um...

Uh...

Um, what kind of civil
servant are you, exactly?

Wow. Well, this evening just
got even more interesting.

Apparently, your co-worker,
Lucifer, just escaped

and took God Johnson with him.

What's he doing here, Lucifer?

I don't know.
You married him.

Well, it kind of ruins our
plans to storm the Gates of Heaven

and destroy him.

Well, I'm thinking we might
not need to do that anymore.

I will never forgive him, if
that's what you're getting at.

The point is, Mum,

that I think Dad...
sincerely misses you.

Well, of course I do.
How could I not?

Look at you.

An absolute vision.

Glowing, even now.

Oh, you have no idea.

I'm just gonna... Doctor.

For the life of me, I can't even
remember why we were fighting.

The flames? Eternal damnation?

The... Kind of hard
to forget.

I am so sorry
that you suffered.

Well, I su...
suppose I should apologize

for trying to destroy
your precious toy

with floods and with
plagues and whatnot.

I guess humanity
isn't entirely awful.

They did make vodka.

Roller coasters.

Triple crème Brie.

You hear about dancing?

Yes, I actually did some
of that on a table, once.

Would you do me this honor?

You sure it's
revenge you're after?

Of course it is.
What else would it be?

What's the matter?

This.

I didn't think
this was possible.

It wasn't part of the plan.

So, maybe...

maybe we make a new plan.

This time,
we make it together.

Lucifer!

Detective!

Seriously?

Okay, outside now.

First you check yourself

into a mental hospital,

only to kidnap another
patient and escape.

Lucifer, how is that helping?

Well, i-if you must know,

God Johnson is indeed my father,

and, uh, I needed to
do a little matchmaking.

With him and Charlotte Richards?

I mean, I'm scared to know
how she ties into all this.

Well, never mind that.
What about our killer?

Hmm? Did you find
proof of Santa Claus?

Time for your meds.

Ooh, lovely.

Thank you. Right.

Unexpected perk of the place.

Maybe it's a good thing

there's another day on
your 72-hour hold. You know?

Maybe being here is the
best thing for you right now.

Okay.

Hey.

I just wanted to say

that I'm sorry I lied.

I, um...

Sometimes with work,

I get shortsighted.

And I never wanted to...

Use me?

Yeah.

If you had just
been up-front with me,

I would've told you that Dale,
the guy you were asking about,

he's been here for 15 years.

Yeah, he can seem a bit
prickly, but he's a teddy bear.

He's got no violent tendencies.

There is just no way
he'd kill someone.

All right.

Legally, I can't let you
look at Dale's medical file.

But, um...

what happens when
I turn away is, um,

out of my hands.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Ooh, look, a Nigerian
prince needs my help.

Wow.

Thanks.

Santa Claus?

Okay, so what's the big deal?

Someone dresses up
as Santa every year.

Patients love it.

Yeah, well, that someone
could be the killer.

But a different person
does it every year.

Even I did it a few years back.

Okay, we store the,
uh, costume in here.

Wait, wait, wait.

Where's the beard?
The red hat?

It should be in there.
- Okay, two things.

Who else has a key to
that cabinet? And...

I need you to put these on.

Ooh, ooh.

These drugs are a bit
different, aren't they?

'Cause I can't feel my tongue.

Oh. Hello, pretty kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty...

Santa, you're here as well?

Oh, I'm afraid
I've been a naughty boy.

You see, I am
actually the Devil.

No, you're not the Devil.

You're just a man who's
delusional in a mental hospital.

You made it all up.

So...

I'm not the Devil.

I'm just a man
who's delusional.

I made it all up.

I made it all up!

I made it all up.

Hello, son.

Dad!

See? I am the Devil.

Nice try, Santa.

Tell me what you told the police.
- Only the truth.

That you, Mr. Kringle,
are a cold-blooded killer.

What else? - What do you
want to know, Nurse Kipsy?

Why aren't the drugs
working on you?

Well, it's obvious,
isn't it?

It's because he's God!

Uh, oh.

Hey.

Hey, they shouldn't be working

on me, either, but...

Is the detective still here?

That might explain it.
- Shut up.

Okay.
- Doesn't matter.

Now you know it's me,
I have to kill you both.

What's that for?

A long shot.

Okay.

That's got to be the
coolest thing I've ever seen.

I'd-I'd applaud, you
know, if I weren't cuffed.

Sorry about that.
It's just a precaution.

Hey, I get it.

Bingo.
- Wow.

That was fast.

Yeah, you don't know Ella.

The print belongs to
one Patricia Hightower.

We have a patient
named Sue Hightower,

the one God Johnson attacked.

Okay. I'm waiting
on a DMV photo.

She looks familiar.

That's Nurse Kipsy.

I changed my name

so no one would
know she's my mother.

She was a raging
bitch my entire life.

Controlling, manipulative...

She tortured me.

So I decided
to torture her.

Pumped her full of
drugs, drove her crazy.

Preaching to the choir, sister.

Evil parents

deserve to be punished.

You had every
right to destroy her.

But what about the orderly?

He found out
what I was doing.

He... said he was
gonna turn me in.

I had no choice.

No, he was innocent

and you killed him,

so I am gonna
have to punish you.

Why aren't I pulverizing you?

Uh, one because you're a nutjob.

And two,

because I switched out
your normal meds

with a massive dose of Haldol.

You know...

they don't normally

let patients wear belts.

Suicide risk.

So, thank you for getting a
special dispensation for yours

because now I got it.

God is gonna kill Lucifer,

then hang himself.

Kind of poetic,
don't you think?

Gonna go find a ladder.

Oh, a ladder.

Now, I had no idea

you were so angry with me.

Really?

'Cause I... I've been
pretty up-front about it.

But to want to destroy me?

That's pretty serious.

You mind telling me why?

Because...

because I'm your son.

And...

you rejected me.

Oh.

Well, then I guess I
can't say as I blame you.

Fact of the matter is,

I don't even remember why

I was ever so angry
with you to begin with.

For what it's worth...

I am sorry.

I truly am.

And I am proud of you, Samael.

I am proud of the
man you've become.

So, what do you say...

Wait, no.

Not... not my belt.

You can't take
my belt. It's mine.

Patricia Hightower, LAPD.
Don't move.

Detective.

You okay?

Honestly...

I've never felt better.

What this?
What-What just happened?

What are you talking
about? We just beat Santa.

Who are you?

It's me, Dad.

Lucifer.

Does someone want to tell
me what the hell is going on?

Get me out of
these damn things.

"The piece is here."

Well, what do you know.

It fits perfectly.

Yes, I think this is what
Uriel was trying to tell me.

Just before he died,

he whispered in my ear,
"The piece is here."

I mean, I thought it
was nonsense, but...

this must be why the
sword wasn't working.

It wasn't complete.

Dad supposedly destroyed
the Flaming Sword

after the rebellion.

So, are you saying

he just broke it into two
pieces? Azrael's blade...

And this.

Yes, which somehow
ended up on Earth.

Its power probably awakened

when Azrael's blade
ended up here, too.

Which is when Mr. Johnson
must've stumbled upon it.

But why did he
think he was father?

Well, I mean, Azrael's
blade inspired death.

Maybe this piece activated
the opposite... life.

Healing. Gave him the power

and knowledge of the divine.

And when he found out that
he could heal like that, he...

he thought he was God.

What's more important is that

now the sword's complete,
we can get on with our plan.

So... the...

Or not.

Maybe there's
another piece missing.

Or maybe a dragon has
to breathe on it.

Who knows?

Well, maybe Mum does.

Did...

Where is she, anyway?

I thought I made
myself clear.

I kissed a man today.

What's your deal?

I thought he was my ex-husband.

When I kissed him,

I realized it wasn't him.

And the strangest part is,

I don't know
what's more upsetting...

that it wasn't him?

Or that I...
I wished it was.

Wow.

I just don't want
to be alone.

Could we just
hold each other?

Please?

With your pants off, of course.

I still can't believe I
gave all my money away.

Well, if it's any consolation,

you haven't exactly been
yourself of late. - Yeah.

Listen, I wanted
to ask you...

what's the last
thing you remember?

I was in New Mexico for work,

I was walking through
this Navajo gift shop.

I saw a cool belt buckle,
so I picked it up, and...

next thing I knew,
I woke up

strapped to a
gurney next to you.

Lucky you.
- Yeah.

Hey, they, uh,

they say we was arguing.

If I did or said something
to upset you, I apologize.

No, no, you were
quite lovely actually.

For a brief moment, I
thought you were my father.

A man for whom I harbor a
great deal of resentment.

And you said some things

that I think I wish
he'd always said to me,

so for that I thank you.

Well, I guess even
a blind squirrel

catches a nut
every now and then.

You take care of yourself.

Hey, does this mean you're
not angry at your dad anymore?

No, I'm not angry.

I'm bloody furious.

'Cause I realized
that my father

would never say
those things to me.

And for that...

I hate him all the more.

Corrected by suadnovic