Lovejoy (1986–1994): Season 2, Episode 4 - Montezuma's Revenge - full transcript

Eric brings Lovejoy an ancient gold funerary figure from Colombia and asks him to act as agent in its sale. The owner is a heavy metal rock musician, but they soon find out that it is the property of a music promoter, who tells Lovejoy that he wants to get rid of it because it has a curse on it. That proves all too true when the musician and an art dealer each turn up murdered with an Amazonian poison dart and a seductive Latin beauty enters the picture with a keen interest in the statuette too.

I've tried to fight this, Jane.

Not very hard, Lovejoy.

I thought you were putting in enough effort
for both of us.

Until now, that is.

Kiss me, Lovejoy.

Lovejoy.

Lovejoy.

Lovejoy.

Oh, Jane.

Jane.

Lovejoy. Lovejoy.



Wake up, Lovejoy.

Eric.

Eric, what is it?

It's after ten o'clock.

Is that it?

It's after ten o'clock.

- Take the day off, Eric.
- No, no, don't do that, Lovejoy.

- I've got something I want to show you.
- Oh.

Ooh.

That's beautiful, Eric.

- Beautiful.
- Do you know what it is?

No.

I have no idea, but it's... it's not
something one usually sees around here.

Yeah, but is it gold?



Oh, yeah.

It's gold, all right. Maybe... 15th century, maybe
16th century, maybe Peruvian, I don't know.

- 16th century, Colombian.
- Ooh!

Morning, Tink.

Oh, morning, all.

Where did you get this little beauty?

I got it from a friend
of mine called Jason.

He's a roadie with Ded Lizards,
you know, the heavy metal band.

- I might be selling it for him.
- You?

Well, I can't be Lovejoy's
second-in-command for the rest of me life.

I'm gonna have to strike out on me own
eventually.

Can I have that in writing, Eric?

No, I know about the business now.
I know what's what.

Then why are you here?

Ah, well, I just thought I'd check with you
that it's the biz.

"The biz."

Well, what do you think it's worth?
A couple of grand?

A bit more than that, Eric.

Find the right buyer...

A lot more.

Great.

Oh, Jason reckons this
has got a curse on it.

Yeah, I think it's just started to work.

Nah, it's all a load of
nonsense, that stuff.

- Ta-ra, then.
- Where are you off to?

Well, you gave me the day off, remember?

Oh.

How about some coffee, Tink?

Very civil of you, Lovejoy.

You know, it's amazing how often
things with curses turn up in our game.

I reckon most of them
were invented by dealers.

Even in the Middle Ages, I bet there
were blokes like me running around,

selling antiques to the gentry,

adding on a bit extra because of some ancient
curse they just invented the day before.

Nothing like an old curse
to add a bob or two to the price.

Course, nothing ever comes of it.

Never.

Well, hardly ever.

Well, it's...

It's a beautiful piece.

Well, do you fancy buying it?

I might do,
I have to know a bit more about it.

- You couldn't leave it with me, I suppose?
- Oh, no, sorry.

Oh.

Well, where could I get in touch with you?

Well, I work for Lovejoy.

- Do you know Lovejoy?
- Yes, yes, I know Lovejoy.

Well, look, I'll do some homework,
then I'll get back to you.

Oh, right.
Well, I'll wait to hear from you, then.

- Well, nice to see you.
- Right. Bye.

Bye.

As you can see,
proportion didn't mean a lot to these guys.

Yeah. Still, I think they're charming.

Well, they're certainly very handsome.

- Just what your dreary offices need.
- Thank you, Tink.

- They are the real thing, Lovejoy?
- Alexander.

Look, I'm sorry, I have to go.

- I'm off on a business trip.
- Where are you off to?

- Oh, Paris.
- Very, very nice. What do you think?

Well, I certainly like them, but I'll have
to show them to the other directors first.

- No problemo.
- Will you take them to the office for me?

- Yes, of course.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

- Bye.
- Must dash.

- Shall I put these in your car?
- Yes, please, Tinker.

These really are, you know, real?

Oh, not one of them painted after 1845.
Right, Tink?

Indubitably.

Oh, mind that one,
Janey, paint's still wet.

Oh.

Are you Lovejoy?

Not necessarily.

- Someone wants to see you.
- Fine.

He can come and see me here.

- Any time he likes.
- He's a very busy man.

Me too.

- I think you should go with him, Lovejoy.
- That's a good idea, Tink.

You too.

What's going on? What are you doing here?

Do you know who that is?
That's Ded Lizards.

I don't believe this.

Neither do I.

OK, cut.

Take a break, lads.

Everybody...

clear off.

- What is this? Why are we here?
- That's my fault, I'm afraid.

You're Jeff Diamond.

You're Ded Lizards' manager.

- And you used to manage...
- I used to manage a lot of people.

Not anymore, kid.

I don't understand this. I was just
driving along, minding my own business,

- when suddenly these two gorillas...
- Eric, shut up.

- Jeff here just saved you from going to jail.
- What?

The golden statue is stolen, Eric.

- But Jason said it was his.
- Jason was telling porkies.

Look, I know it wasn't your fault,
that's why I kept the police out of it.

But how did you know I had it?

I reported it missing to the police
a few days ago.

I contacted a few shops
where I thought he might try to sell it.

One of them called me back earlier.

Just wait till I get my hands on Jason.
Well, you better have this.

- I don't want it back.
- You don't?

No. Too many bad things have happened
while that's been around.

What kind of things?

Ded Lizards used to do a whole thing
with black magic masks and statues.

All a bit of a lark.

But soon after we got this, Archie
the drummer got killed in a car crash.

- He had it with him at the time.
- Coincidence.

Maybe. But the band's never done so well
since Archie died.

I've lost a couple of other bands
I was managing.

The bottom line is I'd
like you to sell it for me.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I don't like this curse business.

- I mean, Jason mentioned it to me...
- Eric.

Just think how many earplugs you could buy
with ten per cent of this.

- Yeah, but what about the curse?
- We would be delighted to sell this for you.

You can get a hold of me on that number.

Thank you. Come on, Eric,
you can drive us home.

Look, where is Jason?

Jason seems to have gone missing.

The police have found his car,
but it's been in a crash.

There's no sign of Jason.

Oh.

See ya.

Yeah.

Morning.

Hello, Lovejoy.

To what do I owe the honor?

Well, I knew Alexander was away.

- What do you want, Lovejoy?
- A couple of things, actually.

Have the directors made up their mind
about those paintings?

No, they haven't had a chance
to look at them yet. They're all busy.

That's par for the course.

The other thing is, not so long ago
I had some old woodcuts

of Spanish explorers in South America

explaining to the Indians
the joys of Christianity,

or torturing them,
depending on your point of view.

Yes, I remember.

You said you had a friend who might be
interested, an expert on South America.

- Yeah, David. David Hayward.
- Would he help me with something else?

I'm sure he would.
Actually, I was going into Cambridge,

he lives near there,
I'll take you to see him if you like.

It's dead.

Would you like a drink, Jane? Tea? Sherry?

- A dry sherry, please.
- Lovejoy.

Oh, the same, thank you.

Perhaps you'd help yourselves
while I have a look at this piece.

Anything wrong?

Er... No. Nothing.

- I'll just take it over to the light.
- So...

Any ideas on what it might be?

Yes, I do, as it happens.

Well, it's a mystery to me. I can't find a
reference to it in anything I've looked at.

I'm not surprised.
What exactly are you going to do with it?

Sell it.

But first I'd like to know more about it,
so whatever you can tell me...

I can do better than that. I can show you.

Jane, would you like to come
to the Prince's Museum with us?

No, I think I'll do my shopping and have a walk
round Cambridge if it's all the same to you.

No problem.

No problem at all.

Every year at the winter solstice,

the king would row out onto the lake
on a raft like this,

which is just a model, of course.

When the sun came up, he would throw
the gold offerings into the lake.

And sometimes, very rarely,

they would make a raft like this

and throw that in.

What you have is the king from such a raft.

So somewhere the rest of this is...

floating about?

Yes. Or it may still be buried
in the mud of the lake.

I'm afraid that's probably where it is.

Yeah.

Lovejoy...

Could I make you an offer for that piece?

No, I think it should go to auction,
that way I'd get the best price.

I could go up to £40,000.

You'd go to £40,000 just like that?

For this I would.

I think it should go to auction.

Yes.

Quite so.

Excuse me.

I wonder, can you tell me, was that
Lord Felsham who left a few moments ago?

Yes, it was.

- Is he staying here?
- No, he and the lady only stayed one night.

Ah.

Thank you. Humph!

Paris.

I'm sorry, madam?

Right. Here's Bellenger's, Janey.

I should put a meter on this,
make a fortune out of you.

Sorry I was late.

I should think so too.

- Is everything all right?
- Of course.

- You sure?
- I'm fine, Lovejoy.

Can I just get on my way?

Hello, Nick.

Hello, Lovejoy.
I was hoping we might be seeing you.

Why? I don't owe you any money, do I?

I heard about the statue.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's, erm, a bit out of your
league, Nick, actually. It's more London.

So why are you here, then, Lovejoy?

I'm going out. Maybe we should
have a drink tonight, discuss it.

Yeah, maybe.

- Don't mind if I look around, do you?
- No.

Keep an eye on him, lads.

Hello?

Oh, Alexander. How are you?

I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine.

Tell me, how's Paris?

Oh, really?

You haven't had a chance to see
much of it yet. I'm not surprised.

No, no, I simply know
how hard you work, dear.

What?

You're going into a meeting now?
But it's nine o'clock at night.

No.

OK.

Bye.

"Haven't had a chance
to see much of it yet"!

I suppose you two think that's funny!

- Hilarious.
- It was a joke, Eric.

Your face.

Well, I don't care,
cos I'm gonna kill the pair of you.

Oh, no, Eric! You'll be well pleased with
the deal I made with Bellenger.

We get five per cent of his ten per cent
plus expenses,

plus ten per cent of
whatever deal Jeff makes.

I could have died right there,
heart attack on the spot.

How much does that all add up to?

- What was that?
- What?

That noise outside.

Oh, come on,
I'm not gonna fall for that twice.

- Did you hear it?
- I heard it.

There it goes again.

You must think I'm stupid.
You've got someone else out there.

What's going on out there?

I don't know.

- You must think I'm really stupid.
- Eric! Where are you going?

- I'm opening the door, aren't I?
- Don't open the door.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ah, Jason, I might have known.
I've been wanting to talk to you.

Come on, Jason.

- I don't what these two have put you up to...
- I've never seen him before, Eric.

Oh, sure. Come on, Jason.

- Eric.
- Jason.

- Eric!
- What?

He's dead.

Uh?

Oh.

Yes, that's Jason Walters.

You, er...

You definitely didn't see
anyone else out here last night?

No.

You see, that's what's got us puzzled.

This poison works almost instantly.

And according to ballistics,

you have to be virtually standing
on top of someone with a blowpipe

before you have a hope of hitting them.

Anyway, we'll go on looking.

Something always turns up in the end.

- You need me anymore, Inspector?
- I don't think we need to detain you further.

Lovejoy.

Don't you go on any long-distance trips
without letting us know. OK?

No.

Jeff.

- Some tea? Coffee?
- No, thanks.

I'll be off.

What do you want me to do with the statue?

Sell it.

Get rid of it.

Just as quickly as you can.

We're famous.
We've just been on breakfast television.

- And the radio.
- There's something about this that puzzles me.

I don't know what it is.

Think it's got something to do
with Jason's death?

Maybe.

I've been telling you about that right
from the start, but would you listen to me?

No, it's not the curse,
Eric, it's something else.

- Like what?
- I don't know.

I'd just love to find
out where this came from.

I just don't believe the drummer
from a heavy metal band

could just pick up something like this.

They were into all
this black magic stuff, look.

Oh, no, that's all rubbish, Eric. It's probably
got "Made in Hong Kong" stamped on the bottom.

This, this is something else.

Do you think it was nicked?

Maybe.

It's not legit.

Well, we could ask around.
Harry Blair, Simmy Watson.

What about Ronnie Bassett?

- He's still inside.
- No, no, no.

I heard he done a favor on a fake Utrillo
for the chairman of his parole board.

- Well, let's ask him.
- Can you track him down?

Can't be difficult. Ronnie's never
very far away from a game of cards.

Lovejoy.

Nick.

- You don't believe in any of that stuff, do you?
- What stuff?

- Well, the curse.
- What curse?

Only two people have
died who have had that.

- Maybe it's going for the hat trick.
- You sure that's gonna be safe here?

Safe, Lovejoy?

I've got one of the most sophisticated
security systems in this part of the country.

- That's where it will be.
- What, is that it?

- A glass case?
- Well, no one can get in there.

No one. Except for me, of course.

It's special glass. You couldn't even smash
it with a sledgehammer. Don't touch it.

There's electronic beams
running all around.

The alarm goes off
as soon as one of them's broken.

Anything inside rests on a pressure sensor.
There's an electronic current running around it.

It all looks a bit Heath Robinson to me.

So how do you get in here?

- Look the other way for a moment, Lovejoy.
- Don't you trust me?

Further, Lovejoy, further.

Right.

Now we can put it in.

Excuse me, miss,
you can't come in here just yet.

How did you get in here?

I used the same door Lovejoy used.

Very impressive security system, Nick.

Do you know her, Lovejoy?

Sure.

Right.

Well, I'd better get ready to let
the hordes in. I'll see you later.

Thank you, Lovejoy.

Do we know each other?

Rosita Lujemillo.

Sorry?

You can call me Rosita.

Oh.

Are you the one who's handling
the sale of the statue?

Yeah.

I'm interested in this statue
for some of my clients.

As soon as I heard about it,
I had to come and see it.

- Oh, you're a dealer?
- Mm.

I'm interested in
Colombian and Peruvian artifacts

- which I can take back to these countries.
- Oh, I see.

All I'm doing is returning these things
to where they come from.

But the difference,
I pay good money for it.

You Europeans, you simply stole it.

No need to look at me like that.
I didn't take any of them personally.

I know, Lovejoy.

But you would have done
given half the chance.

If you're gonna be around for a few days,
we should have dinner.

When did you have in mind?

Tonight.

Hello, Lovejoy.

- Hello, Janey.
- Can I come in?

Yeah, come in.

- Any word on those pictures yet?
- No, not yet.

Expecting someone?

- Yeah, I am, as a matter of fact.
- Oh, that's a shame.

I was going to ask you to come over
and have a spot of dinner with me.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's all right.

- Perhaps tomorrow night. Or the night after.
- Sure.

Alexander's still away.

Oh.

- Anything else I can help you with?
- No. I was just passing.

Thought I'd pop in and see you
instead of phoning.

Yeah.

Is this someone you're expecting tonight
a woman?

Yeah. Well, er... it's just business,
you know, another dealer.

- Are you all right, Janey?
- Yes, of course.

Oh.

- Lovejoy.
- Mm.

Have you ever thought
about our relationship?

- Our what?
- Our relationship. You and I.

Well, sometimes.

It's a funny sort of
relationship, isn't it?

For a man and a woman to have.

No, I don't think so.

Oh.

I do.

No, I don't.

Janey, what are you doing?

- I've always wanted to do that.
- Hello.

Surely...

Rosita.

Oh, Rosita.

Come in. Come in.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Yes. This is Rosita...
- Lujemillo.

Lady Felsham.

- Hello.
- And she was just... leaving.

I did not realize you had company.

I'll see you soon, Lovejoy.

- Yeah.
- Bon appetito.

Thank you, madam.

Bloody hell! Tinker.
Where did you get the suit, Oxfam?

You said dress.

Suppose I did.

Listen. I'm only doing this because I owe
Lovejoy a favor, but not much of a favor.

- Do you understand, Tink?
- I need a little help.

That's all you're getting.

From my friends.

More wine?

I'm fine at the moment, thank you.

Have you had any definite
offers on the statue?

Just one.

- How much?
- 40,000.

Oh.

I hope you don't get any
more of these offers.

What is so important
about this particular statue?

It's one of the most important pieces
to have come up for years.

We only have one other piece like it
in the Golden Museum in Bogotá.

- And that is much smaller.
- So it really is something special?

To us it is very special.

Then I hope you get it.

Of course, what would be wonderful
would be to get the whole piece.

Ah, so you know about the raft.

- Do you have any idea where it might be?
- No.

- Sorry.
- Mm.

It's probably just as well.

I don't think we could afford it anyway.

How much would the whole thing be worth?

Hundreds of thousands.

Are you satisfied now, Lovejoy?

Yeah.

Now, uh...

where - where were we?

Mm.

About here, I think.

Lovejoy.

- I found out something about the...
- Tinker.

This is Rosita.

Lovejoy, I have to speak to you.

- Not now.
- Yes.

It's OK. I should be going, anyway.

No, no, no, no, no. It's early.

Or another night, perhaps, Lovejoy.

Hm?

Perhaps.

- This better be good.
- Oh, it's not that good.

Oh, sit down and talk to me about it.

Archie was given the statue by a hanger-on
who used to travel with the band.

- What, for nothing?
- Yes. I'll tell you something else.

He was given the whole piece,
the statue and the raft.

You're kidding?

See, Archie wanted to mount the statue
on the dashboard of his car.

But with the raft it wouldn't fit,

so he cut the statue off

and he stuck it to his dashboard
with a spot of superglue under each foot.

You mean he was driving around
with a solid gold Inca statue

- stuck to the dashboard of his car?
- Yeah. But not for long.

Yeah, the crash.

But what happened to the raft?

I don't know.

I spoke to Jeff about the raft.
He said, "I don't know anything about it."

Maybe he doesn't.

Maybe.

Morning, gents.

Yes, I'm sorry about that, Lovejoy.
I suppose I did lie to you.

So you've seen the whole thing,
the raft and the figure?

I didn't pay much attention to it.
It was just a prop.

- Why didn't you tell me this before?
- I didn't think it was that important.

I didn't want any more fuss.

And you've no idea
where the other half might be?

I don't care either.
I just want rid of it.

I don't want it around me anymore.

- I'd love to find it.
- As you will.

- How do you think the sale will go?
- Had a pre-sale offer of 40 grand yesterday.

Who from?

Some professor in Cambridge.

Name of Hayward.
Specialist on South America.

But you turned him down.

We'll do better at the auction.

Good.

Any calls?

Just that Rosita bird.

- She leave a message?
- No.

Eric.

I want you to do something for me.

'Ere we go.

I'm not gonna like this, Lovejoy, am I?

You might.
I want you to check up on Rosita.

Anyone there?

Hello?

Anyone there?

Been doing any more business
with South America recently?

- That was just social.
- You told me it was just business.

It was a bit of both, really.

Ah.

Jane, there's, erm...

definitely something
different about you lately.

Really?

Yeah, it's just, erm...

different.

You've such a way with words, Lovejoy.

Well, you're more... friendly.

We've always been good friends, Lovejoy.

But never as friendly as this.

You're not complaining.

No, I just don't...

understand.

That's all.

What is there to understand?

I can't explain, really.

Aah!

- What do you want?
- Have the police been here, Lovejoy?

- Why would the police have been here?
- They're after you.

That Professor Hayward's been killed
and they think you did it.

- Why me?
- Because they say he left a note.

What did it say?

Just "Lovejoy".

Look, I can't be more than five minutes
ahead of them.

I've got to go.

Oh. There was a passport in Rosita's room.

'Ere.

- So she's kosher.
- Looks like it.

Oh... Oh.

What's this?

It belongs to a mate of mine.

And he's gone away.

Not surprised.

Oh.

What are we gonna do, Lovejoy?

Well, I've been set up.

Who by? Jeff?

Why?

Doesn't make sense.

Well, I think it was that curse.

I've been warning you about that statue
from the beginning.

It brings bad luck to whoever has it.
And you had it last.

Rubbish. It might have something to do with the
statue, it's got nothing to do with the curse.

So what are we gonna do?

Tink, go back to Ronnie.
See if he knows what happened to the raft.

Ronnie wouldn't tell me anything
even if he knew.

Just say...

apostle spoons.

Apostle spoons?

Apostle spoons.

Eric, tomorrow bring me some clothes and
food and make sure you're not followed.

Don't worry, Lovejoy, I won't let you down.

- Apostle spoons.
- Apostle spoons.

Apostle spoons.

Oh.

- Is Ronnie in?
- Not yet.

I'll wait inside.

I'll wait outside.

Here. Come in.

I'm starving.

Here. Put this kettle on.

Sure nobody followed you?

There's no way. I double-backed on meself,
took a couple of diversions,

I kept watching all the time, there is no way
anybody could have possibly followed me.

I wonder who that is, Eric.

- I was really careful.
- Oh, come in.

Come in.

Hi.

I hope you don't mind
me following you, Eric,

but I was sure you would know
where Lovejoy was

- and I wanted to make sure you were all right.
- Well, I'm fine.

Ronnie.

Get lost, Tinker.

Don't let him in, Frank.

Apostle spoons.

What?

Apostle spoons.

Let him in, Frank.

Thank you.

Where is he?

Oh.

I'm sorry I've been so long, Lovejoy.

Ronnie didn't turn up for hours
and it's taken me ages to get back here.

What's she doing here?

Oh, ask Eric.

Another time. What did you find out?

Archie before he died
was strapped for cash.

- So Ronnie bought the raft from him.
- So what did Ronnie do with the raft?

He sold it.

- To Hayward.
- Hayward?

And do you know who else
has been asking about the raft?

Jeff Diamond.

Did Ronnie tell him anything?

No.

Jeff. Doesn't make sense.

He wants to sell the statue,
now he's asking about the raft.

What are we gonna do, Lovejoy?

I don't know.

Lovejoy.

Why apostle spoons?

Ronnie knows.

That's all that matters.

I don't like this, Lovejoy.

So you've been telling me
for the last two hours, Eric.

But the more I think about it,
the more I don't like it.

Thinking's not your thing,
but what do you suggest?

- Well...
- Get in.

Go round the back.

Go.

Go!

- Oof!
- Ooh!

Ooh. Ooh.

Come on.

Ow.

Are you sure you can do this, Lovejoy?

Oh, ye of little faith.

Mirror. Where is it?

- What mirror?
- There was a mirror here.

Oh, well, you've chosen a great time to finally
go over the edge, haven't you, Lovejoy?

Eric. The control box.

Open it.

It's locked.

Break it open, then.

And what if it's wired?

Then we're in shtuck.

Right.

One.

Nine.

Three.

Now go diagonally.

Seven?

Seven.

Yeah, seven.

Now, the last one I think...

- Go up. What's that number?
- Four.

Go for it.

Yeah.

- Is that it?
- We'll soon find out.

That's amazing.

- I never knew you could do that, Lovejoy.
- Let's not hang about, Eric.

- Hello?
- Jeff.

- Lovejoy.
- Lovejoy.

I heard you were in trouble.

Maybe there is something in that curse
after all, but I did not kill Hayward.

Doesn't matter to me, Lovejoy.

I'm a bit desperate. The police are after me and
I need to raise money to leave the country.

Why come to me?

I stole the statue back from the
auction rooms. Are you interested?

I told you, I wanted rid of it.

So you're not interested?

How much do you want?

Two grand.

We'd better meet.

Yeah. Your place, but just you and me, OK?

OK.

Just you and me.

Yeah.

OK, lads, you can go now.
Tell the others to go too.

I don't want anybody else around here
this evening.

- Now, listen, I want you to stay here.
- I'll come with you.

- Sure?
- Yeah.

Jeff?

Jeff!

I'm gonna look upstairs.

I'm gonna look downstairs.

Ooh. Ah.

It was quite naughty of you
sneaking into my hotel room like that.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry about that.

Not that I mind, given that it was you...

Eric.

Really?

Really.

Well, it was Lovejoy.

He wanted to make sure that you were
who you said you were.

I know he did not trust me.

But you trust me, don't you?

Yeah, of course.

Do you know, I find you very attractive.

Me?

But I thought you and Lovejoy...

Older men are very well in their places.

But younger men like you.

Would you mind turning around for a moment?
There is just something I would like to do.

Yeah, of course.

Whatever you say.

Uh!

Hello, Lovejoy.

- Where's the statue?
- Haven't got it on me.

You do that, you'll never get it.

- You said you'd bring it with you.
- I lied.

Where is it?

In a minute.

I want to see the raft.

What?

It's no good pretending now. The raft.
I know you've got it, I want to see it.

It's in the cupboard.

Door on the left.

Whoa.

It's amazing.

You got it from Hayward.

Where's the rest of it, Lovejoy?

Where's the money?

Doesn't look like 2,000.

That's all I've got here.

You put the statue up for auction
so you could flush out the raft.

And when you got that,
you were gonna cancel the sale, right?

- That's very good, Lovejoy.
- Why?

I need the money.

I got involved in a drugs
deal that went wrong.

And now I owe a lot of money
to some very unpleasant people.

Getting the two halves back was
the only way I could pay them.

Why did you kill Jason?

He was in on the deal.

He got frightened.

Wanted to go to the police,
tell them everything,

get 'em to protect us.

Now, where's the rest of it, Lovejoy?

Ah.

I haven't got it.

That's a lie, Lovejoy.

- You've got it in your inside pocket.
- Rosita.

What is this?

I don't know.

He's lying.

He does have it.

You give it to me, Lovejoy, or she gets it.

And this poison acts almost instantly.

OK.

OK.

OK.

Get the gun, Rosita!

Sorry, Lovejoy, but these are going back
to where they come from.

Rosita!

Eric.

Adiós!

Ow. Ooh.

Hello, Tink.

No need to apologize, Lovejoy.

Can we go now?

The sooner, the better.

Oh. Come on, Eric.

Hello, Janey.

You know, sometimes I think all I am
is your taxi service, Lovejoy.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Jane, I heard you were down here.

I might have guessed
it had something to do with you, Lovejoy.

Good evening, Alexander.

I thought you weren't due back from Paris
for another few days yet.

Well, actually, darling, I wasn't in Paris.

- You weren't?
- No, I, erm...

I don't think I've had the pleasure.

Oh, this is Mrs. Irene May.

Irene, my wife, Lady Jane Felsham.

Hello, Mrs. May.

And her friends.
We've taken over her company.

- Her company?
- Yes, we've been negotiating in Cambridge.

Uh... So you were never in Paris?

No, it was a bit Boy's Own, really.

We had to keep it top-secret, so as far as
everyone was concerned, we were in Paris.

It's still confidential, but it will hit tomorrow's
papers, so we thought we'd go and celebrate.

- Do you want to come?
- We'd love to.

Lovejoy, do you really think
there's nothing in that curse?

Forget the statue, Eric,
it's done, finished, over.

Oh, really?

Lovejoy!

Hit it.