Love in the Time of Corona (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Course of Love - full transcript

Sade: Avoid crowded aisles,

stay six feet away from
everyone at all times.

Do not let your mind wander.
Do not touch your face.

Do not forget to wipe your credit
card down with sanitary wipes.

‐Got 'em. ‐Are you
sure you're up for this?

I usually do all the
quarantine shopping.

I know where everything
is. I can get in and out‐‐

Just give me the list.
I'll cross everything off.

You're not the only one who
wants to get out of the house.

Okay.

Good luck.



Can I kiss the baby goodbye?

If you don't come back,
I'll tell her how brave her daddy was.

Got this.

Got it.

Shit.

‐(Sade laughs) ‐Still got it.

(whimsical music playing)

I don't have a good
feeling about this.

♪♪

("So Would I" by
Katelyn Tarver playing)

♪ Moved out to LA Got
a two‐bedroom place ♪

What do you think?

I love it.

Great,



'cause I made it for you.

Aw, what would I do without you?

Probably spray your
nasty oral droplets

all over vulnerable people.

(chuckles)

‐That's very true. ‐Hmm.

Beautiful mask
for a beautiful girl.

♪ And I've never said it
but I knew you were right ♪

♪ I'd be somebody I'm not... ♪

‐Foot rub? ‐Yes, please.

(laughs)

Uh, what, w‐what is happening
with the hairiness on the leg?

Oh, it's called "feminism."

You might wanna look it up.

‐Fema‐what? ‐Femi‐nism.

Oh, okay.

(both laugh)

Oh my God.

Hot shower guy.

(shower running)

(sensual music playing)

♪ Ah, la, la ♪

♪ Ah, la, la ♪

♪ Ah, la, la ♪

(music ends)

‐That was a short one.
‐They're all too short.

Unfortunately, for me,
I think he's straight.

But that is great for you.

He is not my type.

I doubt he's ever read
a book in his entire life.

(sighs)

Okay, I'm officially bored.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

What do you wanna do?

What do you wanna do?

Both together: What
do you wanna do?

♪ Ooo‐wee ♪

♪ Energy has got me flowing ♪

♪ Freely ♪

(both laughing)

Climb Your Partner Challenge,
take one.

(both laugh)

♪ I've been flying, yeah ♪

♪ And I'm only
goin' up from here ♪

♪ Lah‐di‐dah‐di
lah‐di‐dah‐di‐dah‐di ♪

♪ Lah‐di‐dah‐di lah‐di‐dah‐di ♪

♪ Lah‐di‐dah‐di
lah‐di‐dah‐di‐dah‐di ♪

♪ And I'm only
goin' up from here ♪

(laughing)

(snaps fingers)

Jordan: (on laptop)
Online college blows.

I can't believe we're
missing the end

of our freshman years.

Yeah,
but have you seen the projections?

They're saying, like,
200,000 people could die!

But, like,
mostly old people, right?

Why can't everyone over
the age of 65 stay at home

so the rest of us can go out and,
like, stimulate the economy?

Not everything's about money,
Jordan.

This thing is
disproportionately affecting

black and brown and
poor communities.

You need to check
your white privilege!

For your information,
I watched "The Help" last night.

Jordan! That movie is so
problematic! Are you joking?

Why? It made me cry.

Okay, where should I start?

Um,
it was written and directed by a white man,

and it totally promotes
the white savior trope.

How is it that you go to
Berkeley and you don't get this?

You know,
I really don't need a lecture right now.

I'm totally over this.

The problem with Americans
is that they're selfish,

and they're not willing to
make the smallest sacrifices

to keep other people safe.

So are you gonna get tested?

No way. That swab they
stick up your nose really hurts.

Oh! So, I have to make sacrifices,
but you don't?

I'm not leaving my bubble,
you are.

Mm. Okay. All right.

Hey.

That's a good look.

Oh, yeah,
it's my video call apparel.

Business up top,
party on the bottom.

You seem busier than ever.

Ah, it takes a global
pandemic for people to realize

they need life insurance.

Seriously? (chuckles)

You're supposed to wash
and sanitize every hour.

Your hands, not your ear.

What if I touch my
ear with my hand

and then I touch my face?

Hey,
I've been meaning to tell you

Jordan's gonna come
and quarantine with us.

Jordan? Sophie's boyfriend?

‐He's moving in with
us? ‐It was either that,

or she was threatening to
go quarantine with his family.

And I have no say in this?

We have no say in this.

That's 'cause you
cater to her every need.

I do not.

How many parents put up

a "Welcome Home to our
Quaranteen" banner for their kids?

I was just trying
to soften the blow.

‐(phone buzzing) ‐You know
how intense our daughter can be.

How long is that gonna stay up,
anyway?

(scoffs) Feel free
to take it down.

And while you're at it,
why don't you do some dishes

or, I don't know,
cook a meal or two,

'cause I've been
cooking and cleaning up

after you guys for weeks,
and I'm tired of it.

I just wish you
had said no to her.

Why don't you say no to her,
Paul?

Watch her head explode?

‐Oh, I will. ‐Good.

Hey, um,
Jordan's getting tested tomorrow

so he can move in this weekend.

I love you, Dad!

I made you sourdough,
sweetheart.

Smells good,
thanks. I'm gonna go text Jordan

to remind him to
bring his swimsuit.

(door closes)

Way to say no, Dad.

Oh, what was I supposed to do?

You already said yes.

Maybe we should just tell her.

That we don't like Jordan?

That we're separated and
you don't live here anymore.

I thought you said you didn't
want to see her head explode.

Maybe she's not as dramatic
as we're giving her credit for.

Sophie: (crying) Oh my God!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

What's wrong?

Jordan just broke up with me!

In a text!

He did?

I mean, oh no.

What did he say, sweetheart?

He said I'm too intense!

Can you believe that?

Both together: No!

How can he do this to me?

We're in the middle
of a pandemic!

The world could be ending!

‐My life is over! ‐Oh, sweet‐‐

Dad!

He's an asshole.

There, there.

‐(Sophie continues
crying) ‐Paul: I'm sorry.

(phone buzzes)

(mouthing): What are you doing?

(mouthing)

♪♪

Okay,
so remember the guy I was virtually dating?

Uh... Chris?

‐No. ‐Jeremy?

No. Niles.

Mmm,
you haven't told me about him.

Okay, well, anyways,

he wants me to move in with him

and quarantine together.

That is crazy! You
don't even know him.

Just promise me you
won't even think about that.

Ugh, okay, you're right.

Little Charli just put
my face in her hands

and said "Dada,
I'm so happy you're home."

Aww, that makes two of us.

Adeah: (on computer) Hi, James!

‐Hey, hey. ‐Adeah: Hey, guys,

by any chance,
are y'all pregnant?

James and Sade: No.

No.

You got peach yogurt.

Charli won't each peach.

She's three. She'll eat
whatever we give her.

Okay, you get her to try it.

All right, I will.

James: Got the thing?

The spoon? Here.

Thank you.

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Thank you.

Good luck.

Okay, girl,
are you sure you're not pregnant?

Because I had a
dream that you were,

and I have the sixth sense,
you know.

Remember that one time I dreamt

that Erica and Bow Wow
were gonna get divorced?

Yeah, you didn't need cosmic
powers to see that one coming.

No,
we're not even thinking about a baby

for another two years at least.

(Charli wailing)

Charli: No! No peaches,
Dada, no!

Uh...

Charli: Daddy, no!

Sounds like a fail for James.

What's that child
have against peaches?

That's what I wanna know.

What did peaches ever do to her?

Adeah: Okay,
I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds alone.

Call me later, girl.

Bye.

Hey, is this everything?

Where are the apples?

And the string cheese?
And toothpaste?

‐Weren't on the list. ‐Yes,
they were.

No,
they were not. I crossed everything off.

I take it from the shelf,
put it in the cart,

put a line through
it. From the shelf to...

You didn't tell me there
was stuff on the back.

I didn't know there
was stuff on the back!

Sade: It's okay.

I'll just order it tonight.

You know...

what if we did talk about
having another baby?

I have been kicked...

peed on,

smeared in peanut butter,

called Poop Butt Mama

about 20 times a day,
and it's only 10:30 in the morning.

But you are the
cutest Poop Butt Mama

I've ever seen in my whole life.

James, she's finally sleeping

through the night
again in her own bed,

and she's not in
diapers anymore.

You really wanna go back
to that baby phase again?

Maybe.

I spent three years
with Charli at home

while you built your career,

and I was fine with that.

Just feels like it's my turn.

No,
you're right. I was just thinking out loud.

If we are in this
quarantine thing for a year

before things are back
up and running again,

I was just, you know, I'm home.

Just thinking it would
make sense that we...

you know,
maybe worked on another little love child.

But you're right. It's,
it's your time.

I feel it too. It's all good.

So,
you don't have to worry about that now.

‐Thank you. ‐Yeah.

♪♪

Oscar: What if this
is the end of the world

and we both die alone?

We won't, we'll die together.

Mmm.

Yeah,
but my therapist was saying

a lot of normal people
have been joining

the dating apps

'cause they have
all this time to reflect

and they realize

the one thing
missing in their lives

is true love.

You know who
else has a lot of time

to go on the dating apps?

Psychopaths.

True. But I was thinking

since we pick such
horrible people for ourselves

maybe... we could
pick for each other.

‐Mmm. ‐Please!

Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

You know me better than

literally anybody.

Fine. Okay.

‐Well, give me yours. ‐Okay...

I'm going to find you
the love of your life.

(chuckles)

Um... your profile says

you're seeking men and women?

‐Is that a mistake? ‐No.

I don't know. I just‐‐
Lately I've been feeling

like my sexuality is evolving.

Like...

kinda been interested in
having sex with women.

Um... like,

like, anybody that we know?

Mm.

Ooh, kinda like Daenerys

before she burns
down King's Landing.

She was really freaking
hot up until the end.

(giggling)

I don't know. I'm
having all these dreams

where I'm having sex with women.

Just seems so...

‐silky and nice. ‐(chuckles)

Like a perfume ad.

(light music playing)

Okay,
just pick a guy for me for now.

Okaaay!

(chuckles)

Sean: (on laptop) So
when did you move to LA?

A couple years ago.

Moved here for work.

I'm a fashion stylist
for photo shoots

and then commercials.

‐Fashion. ‐Whole bunch of stuff.

Fashion is not my forte.

Um,
I'm presently wearing cargo shorts.

‐Wow. ‐(both laughing)

Um...

So what do you‐‐ Wha‐‐ wha‐‐ What,
um, what do you do?

‐Sorry. ‐What do you do?

Oh,
I work for The Trevor Project.

Get out. I, uh...

Actually,
sometimes I volunteer at the LGBTQ Center.

Well, look at us,
being good people.

Can I redact the thing that I
said about the cargo shorts?

'Cause now I really
want you to like me.

Mm... kind of unforgivable.

(both laughing)

Dylan: (on laptop) Yeah,
so I grew up in Colorado.

Man, yeah,
I miss the hiking. It doesn't help

that all the trails and parks
are closed down here now.

Yeah. My roommate Oscar
and I used to hike Fryman,

like, every Saturday.

Dylan: No way! I love Fryman.

And then we always
do bottomless at Firefly.

Yeah. Yeah, that's our spot too.

I love their,
um... (snaps fingers)

buckwheat and
cactus flour pancakes.

Oh. Have you tried the
jackfruit huevos rancheros?

I have not. (laughs)

Sean: I feel like I
spend a lot of my time

just staring at the
refrigerator trying to figure out

if I'm hungry or anxious.

Hungxious! Yes, totally.

‐Yes. ‐Yeah, I mean,
this is, this is insane.

Like, I don't even know
what day of the week it is.

Well, I do. It's your lucky day,

because you can't spell virus

without U and I.

I'm sorry, I had to. (chuckles)

Yeah. Queerentine
pick‐up lines are...

‐...the worst. ‐The worst.

Yeah. They're gross.

"If COVID‐19 doesn't take you out,
can I?"

"Hey, can I come over?
We could use Purell as lube."

"I like my virus
like I like my men,

easy to spread."

Okay,
that one's kind of impressive.

‐Like, it's better. ‐(laughing)

So glad that we
found each other.

Um, but that said,
are you an N95?

'Cause I really
want you on my face.

So, uh,
what have you been watching these days?

We just watched "Love Actually."

It's our favorite movie.

What about you?

Uh, actually I just watched

"Justice League" again.

Isn't that the one where
you inexplicably see

up Wonder Woman's
skirt or something like that?

Yeah. Oh, it's pretty epic.

Hey,
You know what? We should watch

"Batman V. Superman"
on our next date.

It's like a cinematic
masterpiece. Seriously.

And then we can make our way
through the entire DC Universe!

Man: (on TV) ...evidence that our
collective sacrifice is working this time,

as Dr. Fauci said...

(cell phone chimes)

Now is the time not to let up.

We gotta keep
washing our hands...

Hello!

James: (on phone) Hey,
Ma, how you doing?

I'm doing just fine, sweetie.

How's my grand‐baby?

James: She is the most adorable

holy terror I've ever known.

At first I was like,
are you crazy?

You want to have
a baby right now?

Nanda: (on phone) How's Sade?

She's good, Mom.

But then I started thinking.

What if this quarantine
lasts for a whole year?

‐Oh God. ‐Sade: I mean, I could

get pregnant,
then have the baby.

Do the whole postpartum thing,

and then get my
body back in time

for when everything
starts back up again.

You know,
now that you're not off producing movies,

might be a good time to think
about having another baby.

No,
this is Sade's year to focus on her career.

‐Time's not right.
‐Is James onboard?

‐It was his idea. ‐James: Yeah,
I don't know

if we even have the
mental head space

to have another baby.

What are we doing with this
time on our hands, anyway?

It just... (sighs)

feels like it's wasted.

Yeah, see, I'm all for this.

Okay, look, no one wants to
be sitting at home doing nothing,

especially during this
government‐mandated celibacy

for us single folks.

Which is why I
moved in with Niles.

What?

You better not have mumbled
what I think you just did.

What about Dedrick?
Have you heard from him?

Not since before the quarantine.

‐How 'bout you? ‐No,
but you know,

he was socially distancing
from this family for a while now.

Just promise me you'll let
me know if you hear from him.

I don't want him
taking advantage

of you and Daddy at this time.

I moved in with Niles,
okay. Don't blame me.

Blame my libido.

Which, I mean, is thanking me

because the sex is amazing!

Ooh, say less.

Girl,
I'm about to be saying very few words,

because it's sex o'clock,

so I need to go get
another round in.

‐Okay. ‐I'll see you later.

‐Have fun. ‐(Adeah chuckles)

‐Adeah: Bye, girl. ‐Bye.

And also promise me

you're gonna take
this really seriously

‐ and stay in the house‐‐
‐Nanda: Don't worry.

Thanks for calling. I love you!

I love you too.

(sighs)

Okay...

‐...let's do this!
‐Let's do what?

Let's make a baby.

‐Hey, I thought you said‐‐ ‐Hmm?

When did you change
your mind? Mmm.

‐Where's Charli? ‐She's napping.

‐Just take a shower real quick‐‐ ‐No,
no,

she's gonna be up in 20 minutes.

‐Twenty minutes, huh? ‐Mm‐hmm.

We can do it
twice in 20 minutes.

(both laughing)

(kissing)

Sean: (on laptop) I don't know,
my, my early 20s

I feel like were
probably when I was just

was exploring.

I was definitely
exploring. Um...

I used to be into the whole
random hook‐up thing.

When you were in New York,
did you ever go to those parties

in that big loft on 13th Street?

You know the one. It was like...

Well, they didn't call it the
meat‐packing district for nothin'.

So Batman is totally
kicking Supe's ass.

But then Clark says his adopted mom's name,
which is Martha.

But that's Bruce's
mom's name too! Phoo!

It's insane. Okay,
so Bruce stops...

Hello.

Are you still there?
I think you're frozen.

Elle?

Hello? Elle?

You just blinked!

Wait,
are you pretending to freeze right now?

Oh, what? No!

Oh my God!

‐ Dylan: Okay. ‐Well,
I don't think it would work.

‐So... ‐Dylan: Uh,

so,
do you want to take a quiz and find out

which superhero you are?

Oh, actually, I,

I probably should go.

Okay.

Well,
can I at least see your boobs first?

What?

No. Ew. Oh my God!

What?

Are you seriously talking
about all your random hook‐ups

20 minutes into our first date?

Well, they weren't random?

They were very intentional.

‐Oh. ‐(cell phone chimes)

Oh no, it was a...

I'm sorry,
are you texting your friend

about what a massive
loser you think I am?

No.

Okay, maybe.

Okay, well,
just be sure to tell her

that you're slut‐shaming me.

(light music playing)

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Hi, Nanda.

Hi. Maggie, how are you?

We're good.

Let me get him set up.

Nanda: Thank you.

Oh, there's my handsome man.

Oh, look at you.

You better tell those nurses
you are a happily married man.

Well, I do,
but they keep throwing themselves at me.

(both laugh)

Uh, so, uh...

what's for dinner tonight, huh?

Lasagna with
spinach and sausage.

‐The one you like. ‐Oh,
that sounds so good.

‐Mm, mm. ‐What are you having?

Uh, the... the what?

W‐what is this?

Maggie: Turkey meatloaf.

Mystery meatloaf.

Oh, stop it.

You said you
like the food there.

Oh, not as much as yours. Mmm.

Good answer.

You know, I,
I sent out the last of the invites

to our anniversary party today.

Oh, that's good.

So,
uh... what about this virus business?

Well, you know, they're saying

we're gonna be out
of this quarantine

in time to get you
better and home

‐before May 10th. ‐Oh good.

I just wish I could come to
visit you in the meantime.

Me too, my love.

‐But better safe
than sorry. ‐Mm‐hmm.

Oh, I talked to James today.
He said he left you a message.

Who?

James.

Hmm.

Our son.

Oh. Oh, oh, yeah,
yeah. Uh, James, yeah.

Um...

I've got a lot of
work to do in the yard

before the party.

Charles: Oh.

You got the invitations out yet?

Yeah.

Charles: That's good.

I wish I was there to help.

Well, your only job...

is to get better.

Well...

I'm doing my best.

I know you are.

(chuckles)

‐Cheers. ‐That's
the way to do it.

I've got my water.

Oh, cheers to you, my dear.

(inaudible dialogue)

‐Hey. ‐Hey.

You think Sophie's okay?

She spent most of the
day in her room again today.

Yeah.

She'll be okay. She's
just brokenhearted.

I could kill that
asshole for hurting her.

Though I got to say, not unhappy

he's not quarantining with us.

Me neither.

You think she's gonna find out
I'm sleeping in the guest room?

No.

No,
we're always up way before she is.

How do you feel
about telling her?

Oh! I don't know.
I think that...

she's devastated with
her own break‐up now,

I don't know that she
can cope with ours.

‐Yeah. ‐And I'm not sure
that I can cope with the drama.

Agreed.

Okay. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I don't wanna sleep alone.
Can I sleep with you guys?

♪♪

Yeah, of course.

Scoot over.

No, no, scoot over.

I'm not gonna sleep
between you guys.

Scoot.

♪♪

(sighs)

(indistinct conversations on TV)

(cell phone ringing)

‐Hello! ‐Man: Hey, Mama.

It's Dedrick.

‐Dedrick! ‐How are you?

Uh, uh, I'm fine, baby.

Uh, how, how are you?

‐(shuts off TV) ‐I'm okay.

Well, uh... sorta.

I got laid off 'cause
of the shutdown.

And, uh... I don't have my rent.

And I was wondering

if I could stay in the
back guest house

until I can figure out work

and get back on my feet again?

I promise I will
keep my distance.

I don't want to risk
getting you sick.

Oh. Of‐of course you can stay

as long as you need to.

Don't even worry about it.

Dedrick: Thanks,
Mama. I love you.

I love you too.

(vocalizing)

♪ That might feel ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ What are you waiting for? ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ What are you waiting for? ♪

(sighs)

(door opens)

‐(sighs) ‐(door closes)

I, I love you.

I love you too.

Oh! Sean is amazing!

I... thought it wasn't
going that great.

Well, it started out great,

and then things got weird
'cause he started telling me

about all these guys
he used to hook up with.

But then he called me
out for slut‐shaming him,

and things took a turn.

And he's just... he's
so funny and honest.

He has a pet cat named Whiskers!

He, he sounds amazing.

And you found him for me!

(sighs)

Thank you. Thank you, thank you.

Hey, do you, um,
do you want some popcorn?

Uh...

sure, yeah.

(theme song playing)