Love My Way (2004–2007): Season 3, Episode 1 - I'm the King of the Castle - full transcript
- But it's only been since
the death of my daughter
that I've truly began to
understand my own lack of faith.
- If you still feel like
this on your birthday
in three months, then I'll help you.
- Help me kill myself?
- What are friends for?
- Hello!
- Hello!
- There's somebody living in the house.
- You're kidding!
How long 'til whoever's here can get out?
- It's not that simple.
- This is my house.
This is Lou's house!
Where's Charlie?
- Charlie's not living here.
- I think we're finished,
pushed it too far.
- There was a man at Julia's
place today waiting for her.
- [Gerry] So?
- [Brenda] Well it
didn't take long, did it?
- Clive has pancreatic
cancer, it's quite advanced.
- You're dying?
- Look at you, both living at home.
Where's your wife, your children?
You've got nothing.
- [Clive] Who's reading "The
Heart is a Lonely Hunter"?
- I am.
- My son Lewis is reading it too.
- You never told me you had a son.
- [Lewis] Francesca?
You want to get a drink?
- You've been in Sydney less than a month,
and you've hardly left my bed,
not that I'm complaining--
- Do you want to meet with my friends?
- She married him.
- Bullshit.
- You made those vows!
- You left me!
You left your son!
- That boy in makeup's staring at me.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Dylan, Lewis' son is staking
with us for a few days.
- I want to go to school
here, and live in your house.
- Have you explained
to your mom about this?
- What happened to your face?
- Oh yeah, it's good.
- No, no, your eye.
Poofta?
The fuck's going on, Lewis?
- I lie in bed thinking black
hateful shit about myself.
- It'll pass.
- [Di] I'm just scared you
fell in love and married him
before you knew him.
- I know enough.
- But you didn't know he drank.
You didn't know you were
going to bring up his child.
- Dylan?
What's that?
What's this, a syringe?
Do you want to try this?
- Do you?
- [Lewis] It's an eviction notice.
- I'm not moving.
- You don't have any choice,
it could be a good thing.
Who is that?
- So what, are you pregnant or something?
- What?
You are?
Oh my god, congratulations!
- Here's to the rest of our lives.
- I'm just leaving the house now,
do you want to say goodbye?
- Goodbye!
(bright music)
♪ The healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter ♪
♪ Will keep us well ♪
♪ Forever after. ♪
♪ We'll lose ourselves ♪
♪ And find each other ♪
♪ In the healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter. ♪
- Whoo!
♪ The healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter ♪
♪ Will keep us well ♪
♪ Through all disaster. ♪
♪ We'll bring the roof down, ♪
♪ And then the rafters ♪
♪ With the healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter. ♪
- Am I interested?
Nope.
(knocking)
Yep, coming!
Just don't let it be some mad woman
that wants something from me.
- Bing bong, it's the Avon lady!
- Look who's here!
- Happy housewarming.
- [Frank] Is that you, mom?
- Yeah!
- Look at you!
Isn't it great?
Well don't strain yourselves, boys.
This is our room, check out the wallpaper.
Come up stairs.
- Been throwing dad's plastic
around a bit lately, Di?
- Oh just buying a few
nice things for my family.
- How's the ceilings?
Look how high they are.
Original wall lights.
- Whoa.
- [Frank] Check out the carpet.
- And a big bottle of
Maui, how extravagant.
- There's no point in
champaign if it's not French,
Lewis, your father told me that.
- Yes, he sure did.
- Kitchen.
- Shall we open it together?
- I mean you can ask him, I mean,
I'm not drinking, obviously.
- What are we psst psst psst-ing about?
- Mom's just wondering
whether you're drinking.
Do you want a drink?
- No, no thank you.
- I'm actually being quite responsible
with Clive's finances.
- Oh yeah, I'm not suggesting anything
to the contrary, darling.
- To the frocks and hairdo?
- [Lewis] Right, sure, no, to the wine.
- You don't like the place, mom?
- Oh look of course, I mean
it's undeniably charming.
Lots of room, just don't
know why you wouldn't want
to come live with me at Clive's.
- Well we love it here.
- Never seen such happy people.
I feel quite uncomfortable.
- I'm busting to do a wee.
- Yeah, happiness has that
effect on her bladder.
- Does Dylan like it here?
- Yeah, thinks this place
has got a good energy.
He's actually becoming
a very mature adult.
(giggling)
(farting)
(laughing)
- Flaming ring of fire.
- Blast from the ass.
- Phalanx from the anus.
- Hey Dylan, Di's out there, why don't you
come and say hello.
- Yeah, I will.
- Hey, hey, stop trying
to blow up your bum hole.
You're going to need it, I assume.
- Clive would've loved it here
for the quietly camp
feeling he was fond of.
Darling?
- Can't find my pan at all.
- Where have you looked?
- I hate it when everything's in boxes,
there's no way of
knowing what anything is.
- Have you got pain?
- I get mystery aches when I'm pregnant.
I did with Lou too.
Ah!
- You been to your ultrasound yet?
- Yeah.
- [Di] And?
- Um.
I reckon it's a boy, maybe.
- So exciting.
- What's exciting?
- Frankie reckons she thinks it's a boy.
- Yeah, possibly, or a girl.
- He'll be beautiful.
How could he not be beautiful?
- You all right?
- Yup.
- Can you smoke inside at your house?
Lovely.
- [Lewis] So, I was thinking,
I might turn one of those downstairs rooms
into a recording studio.
- Or an art studio for Frankie.
- Yeah, a work room.
Babe, what do you think of that idea?
If we turn the downstairs
room into a recording studio?
- Mom, I'm having a bleed.
- What sort of bleed, how much?
- Just a tiny bit.
God I'm ten weeks
pregnant, and I'm bleeding.
- Who's your obstetrician?
- I don't have an obstetrician.
It's okay, it's just a tiny bit.
I'm going to go lie down, it's okay.
(bright music)
(chattering in the car)
- Look, Charlie.
- [Charlie] Yes, yep.
- No don't look, it's right
next to Frank and Lewis.
Don't look.
- [Charlie] Top spot.
- [Julia] Hello!
- Welcome, family.
- How'd you score this place, mate?
- [Lewis] Well they're gonna
knock it down in a year or so,
so we've got cheap rent on it.
You like it?
- It's gorgeous.
- And you're gorgeous.
(laughing)
- Hello.
- Yeah, you're gorgeous, too.
Frank, come on.
What's up?
- Nothing.
What's up with you?
- Well you were bursting with
uncontrollable joy an hour ago.
- Ah, Frank, I'm so jealous.
- Do you want to have another baby?
- Oh god no.
- What?
- Sorry, I didn't mean that.
I meant the house!
- Oh!
- This house you're living in.
- Sorry.
I know, the house, yeah.
The views are great.
- You see that place next door's for sale?
- Really, nextdoor to us?
- Yeah, there's a sign up down there.
It's of excellent size.
- But it's so close to you guys,
so we'd never even think about doing that.
- Here it is.
You ready?
- What?
- This is Tom's farewell letter to me,
and it should be pretty good.
"Dear Charlie, my brother,
"I'm leaving on a jet plane,
you know how the song goes.
"So take care of ma' for me, bro.
"She's the earth mother.
"So long for now, big guy.
"One day, we will meet again.
"For we're journeymen lost in
the dark sky of our dreams."
- Oh bullshit, he didn't say
"dark sky of our dreams."
- You wanna bet, it's right here!
- He's a funny boy, Tom.
- [Charlie] But wait, there's more here.
- Oh stop it, Charlie, it's cruel.
- No no keep going, I want to hear more
of Tom's vivid imagery.
- Yeah, it's sweet.
Australia mouths never
open about their feelings.
- Yeah, well there's a reason for that.
- "I love you, Charlie, my brah
"more than every wave on
every silk blue beach,
"for you are my soul,
my energy, my heartbeat.
"Through the valley of darkness, you rise
"time and time again like a tyrant.
"The sunlight is yours
now, love, in bulk, Tom."
- I'm tearing up.
- "P.S. I should've fucked your
wife when I had the chance."
Hah!
- He did not say that.
- That's vivid imagery.
- What a little fag.
- Told you not to read that aloud.
- [Charlie] Get a load of this prick.
- Jerk.
- Hey, did you get a Tom letter?
- Oh yeah, we all did, except you.
- What'd it say?
- It said, like I can
borrow his old wetsuit,
it's in the laundry.
I need to go to the toilet.
- Unbelievable.
- What an idiot.
- [Lewis] You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, move move.
- [Charlie] You know,
it's pretty much standard.
(gentle jazzy music)
(crashing)
Fucking hell, oh Jesus.
- Babe, are you all right?
- Doctor Livingston, I presume?
(laughing)
We can get in the back there.
- No, tell me this isn't happening.
Toby, I need you to talk him out of it.
I need you to talk them out of it.
You don't want to live there.
- We should think about dinner.
Picture on this phone is amazing.
- Yes, the resolution's amazing.
The lens on my phone is better
than the lens on my camera.
It's nice.
- I should get myself a
really good modern phone
like this one.
Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.
- So what do you think, Charlie?
Just gonna go for it?
Bang bang, shift in?
- No, no, I wouldn't do that, you know,
I mean structurally it seems pretty sound,
but you can't tell just
looking over the fence.
- Yeah, you're right, it's
probably not worth it.
- Well no, I'll get an inspection.
Give it a thorough looking over.
If you're gonna spend the money, you know.
- Oh pizza.
- Wicked.
- Everything okay, Frank?
- Uh yeah.
Just boxes.
- Get a plate.
- [Charlie] That house, babe, that house,
it's just so well thought
out, I've gotta get in it.
- [Dylan] What house is that?
- The one next door, Dylan.
- You gonna buy it?
- Um, no.
Maybe.
- We'll see.
- Gee, have for long?
- Okay, babe.
Put your foot in here,
and I'll hoik you over.
- I don't want to get my dress dirty.
- Oh my god, I thought you'd
toughened up over the years,
but you're still the same silver spoons
private schools girly girl pussy.
- I grew up in the country, Charlie.
I rode bare back in the rain,
I cut the balls off of sheep,
and I have a criminal record,
for fuck's sake, okay?
So put your hands together.
Now.
(grunting)
(crashing)
- [Charlie] You all right, babe?
- [Julia] Oh for fuck's sake, Charlie.
- Here, can you take this?
(splashing)
(giggling)
- Oi, dude, lick the ember,
don't lick the shaft.
- I know what to do, fag.
- You're a fag.
- Who do you reckon's hotter,
Julia or Frankie?
- Oh dude, weak, Frankie's
like my step-mom.
- I reckon Julia's so hot.
She'd be like a mad root.
(giggling)
- You gonna take her to the mall?
- Yeah.
(giggling)
Hey yeah, Julia, wanna come
play straight four to two
with me on Tuesday?
(laughing)
- Take her out for tacos.
- Make out on the escalators.
(sobbing)
- Oh fuck it, mom!
- There there.
- I can't keep anything.
- You don't know that it's gone.
- Ah, I know it, mom, I know it's gone.
- Hey.
Hey what's going on?
- I'm bleeding, Lewis.
- You what, you're bleeding?
- I just need to get to the hospital.
- W-why didn't you tell me?
- Well, we've lost it.
- And what, you were just,
were you just gonna wait
until I guessed this, or?
- Oh come on, honey, I don't
want to talk about this,
darling, let's just get into the Volvo--
- The Volvo shat itself.
- I know, it'll start
now, the sun's gone down.
- No, no, I gave it to the
guy with the tow truck.
- You what?
- Well the thing was,
honey, it was a gas guzzling
piece of shit, and we were
lucky to have the guy take--
- I need my car now!
- We don't have the car.
- Oh great!
No car.
- No, we'll take Charlie and Julia's car.
- Lew, I bought that car with the money
from the first painting I ever sold.
- [Lewis] Okay, come
on, it'll be all right.
- I'll drive you.
(arguing)
(window sliding open)
(grunting)
- We're in!
- I can't even believe we're doing this.
- Shh.
- There's two reasons why this is insane.
One, we could get arrested,
two, we're not living
next door to your ex-wife!
- [Charlie] She was never my ex-wife,
we were never married, babe.
- Package looks nice though.
- It's double-fronted.
We'll need a new kitchen.
- Charlie, there's two bathrooms!
Let's turn on a light.
Charlie.
- Come on, babe, let's be wrong.
- This is the third reason
why we should not be here.
- I'm just innocently
inspecting the furnishings.
(door opening)
- Shit!
- Is someone in here?
- I told you this was
a fucking stupid idea,
but do you fucking listen to me?
No you fucking don't!
I already have a criminal record!
- And you've cut the balls off sheep.
- Don't think I wouldn't do it to you.
- Babe, we're gonna have
to stay here overnight
and make a run for it in the morning.
I don't want to do it, Charlie.
(screaming)
- Di!?
Ridiculous.
- Jesus, he just wanted mommy and daddy,
he didn't know where you were.
It's all right, Dylan's there.
- Oh right, cool, so a
stoned teenage homosexual
is looking after my three year old son.
- Yeah, you feel safe?
- Look, no more now.
- Where's the car?
- Oh my god, has the car been stolen?
(arguing)
- Frank and Lewis took the
car to get to hospital.
- What happened?
- [Di] Frank started bleeding.
- Oh god, how far gone was she?
- Ten weeks.
- Oh, Frank.
Of all the people.
- She had already had a miscarriage.
- You never told me that.
I can't believe this.
Life is such a cruel thing.
- [Carol] Hey, mate.
There you go, in you go.
- Those lizards love you.
- They're cold-blooded.
We understand each other.
Have you got on to Lewis?
- No.
I've called him six times, that's now
officially called stalking.
- [Carol] Haven't tried the land line?
- Nah, they wouldn't have it on there.
- Call connect, see if they do.
- Is that to Angela Lansbury,
calling the land line?
- Just ask for the number.
- Oh hi, I'm after a city number, please.
Thank you.
(phone ringing)
- Hello.
- [Tess] Hi, Frankie?
- No, it's Frank's mother, Di.
- Hi, um, Di, it's Tess
here, Dylan's mother.
- Um, Frank's not here.
- [Tess] Uh, is Lewis there--
- No, he's not either, they've
both gone out to the shops.
- Right, can I speak to my son?
- Oh, you're...
- I'm Tess, Dylan's mother.
- Did you say that?
- I think I did say that.
- Said it three fucking times.
- I'm sorry, Tess, did
you just swear at me?
- [Tess] Sorry, what was that, Di?
- I'll just transport you.
- Transport me?
- [Di] Yeah, Dylan is in his room.
- Dylan?
- [Dylan] Yeah?
- It's your mother.
- Thanks.
Yo, mom.
- Hi, darling.
- Hey, um, look, I'm in the
middle of some foreign homework
right now, can I, I'll call you later.
- Oh no, no, no, I'd like to talk to you
about something now.
- Cool, well I'll call you later, okay?
Bye.
- He hung up!
- Can I call them next time?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because.
- I wouldn't put up with his shit.
(tense music)
- I don't, I don't want to go inside.
- It'll be all right, you don't have
to say anything to anyone.
- Yeah, it's just everyone's
always feeling sorry for me.
- Yeah well, that's because
you're married to me.
(snort)
Come on, you've got a good family.
- Yeah.
- We'll take care of it.
- Frank.
- Hi, darling.
- It's okay, don't get all...
I'm okay.
- You sure?
- Yeah yeah, I'm fine.
Just.
- Come sit down.
You want a cup of tea?
- [Frank] No thanks, mom.
- Who brought the stereo up?
- Oh, I brought the amp up
and connected the speakers,
set the TV up.
- Okay, well it doesn't belong up here.
- Oh, sorry.
- Thanks, Charlie.
- It's just, it's my stuff,
I'd prefer you didn't touch it.
- Oh, pardon me.
- Oh god, I'm so sick of everyone talking.
- Yeah, we'll go.
- We lost it.
So, that is that.
- Frankie--
- Can I get you anything, Di?
- What's that?
- Can I get you anything, or are you fine,
do you have everything?
- Gee, Lewis, I'm sorry if I managed to--
(inhaling)
- [Lewis] Marcus.
- Yeah?
- Charlie and Julia are leaving.
- So?
- So get a lift with them.
Slumber party's over.
- But dad, it's not that late.
(door slamming)
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm okay.
- You keep saying "I'm okay."
- Because I am, I'm okay.
Hey mom, what was my dad's full name?
- What?
- You heard me, his full name.
- Are you guys all right
to take Marcus home?
- [Julia] Yeah, yup.
- It's not much of a detour,
he'll show you the way.
What's that stink?
- Oh yeah, that's Toby, he
just dropped a filthy bomb.
He's been a bit off lately.
- It stinks.
- It's just shit.
- [Julia] Aw it's awful, and I'm sorry.
- Thanks for having us, mate.
- Are you coming with us, Marco?
- Marcus, yep.
- Sorry.
- Thanks for setting
up the stereo, Charlie.
- No worries.
- Thanks, Julia.
- [Julia] It's okay, you rest, okay?
- Yep.
- Bye bye, sweetheart.
- See you, mommy.
- Bye.
- See ya.
(farewells)
- Go to bed, mate.
Oh man, at last.
- [Charlie] Hello, knock knock!
- Fuck off.
- [Charlie] Could someone
throw me down my keys?
- You've got the car.
- Ah, shit.
Here, sorry about that.
- Thanks, mate.
- [Lewis] No worries.
- You rest.
- Huh?
- Rest, get some rest.
- Oh yeah, sure, see you.
- [Charlie] See you, mate.
(door shutting)
- They're all gone.
And the night is at rest.
- I could call Charlie
back over if you want.
(chuckling)
- How are you?
- I'm okay.
Painkillers are taking effect now, so.
- No, how are you really?
- I really want to have a baby with you.
- Me too.
- But
I'm kind of okay.
- Okay?
- Well...
The whole thing felt kind of rushed,
and I don't know, it
obviously wasn't meant to be.
We will one day, though.
- You're so cool, Frankie Paige.
- You think so?
At least we can play again now,
both of us.
There's no reason to
stay sober now, is there?
- That's what I was thinking.
- I can't sit up though, Lew.
- Okay.
Then,
open your mouth.
Careful with this.
All right?
- Mm.
- I love you.
(upbeat music)
- [Tom] Gotta say, it was really nice
traveling with you, Monica.
- Yeah, you too, Tom.
Are you going to be okay, though?
I mean, you drank a lot of vodka,
and you took a lot of valium.
- I'm tough, baby.
I'm Australian.
Hey, I've got your
card, so when I'm in LA,
I'll look you up, and maybe we'll go.
- That'll be cool.
- Yeah?
- I'd like to see you again.
- Yeah, I'd like to see you again too.
- See you, take care.
- See you later.
Bye, Monica.
Yeah, I think Tom will enjoy
a few cigars with Monica.
G'day.
- How are you doing?
- I'm fucking great, how are you?
- I'm good, thanks.
- [Tom] I told you, man.
I'm sponsored by a restaurant in Brooklyn.
It's called Lime.
I've given you Kurt's name
and number, it's all sorted.
I mean,
I have an E3 visa, do you have any idea
how much bullshit you've
gotta file to get that?
I have all the proper documentation, man.
I am legit.
- Found a drug eviction charge
here on your record, amigo.
- What?
- Possession of marijuana
right here on the database.
- No no no no no, that
was like one plant, man,
and it wasn't even mine, so.
- We're going to have
to send you home, sir.
- No no no no no, it was
like half a foot high,
and that was like twelve years ago, okay?
- You can follow Vincenzo
through the doors
and see the people at the
desk, they'll assist you.
- No no no, I'm not going
to follow Vincenzo anywhere,
now stamp the passport and
let me the fuck through,
I am not fucking kidding, man!
Okay?
Come on!
Man, come on, look, I'm
sorry I swore at you, man,
it's been a long flight, I'm sorry.
Dude, just let me through!
I'll give a thousand bucks, man!
- Now if you'll just pull
your jeans down, please, sir.
(rubber snapping)
This is all quite routine, sir.
- Yeah, yeah.
Not my fucking routine.
- Now if you'll just relax,
I'll try to get you into
position, all right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, now, just breathe in.
- Oh momma.
- Here we go.
(grunting)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
No, hey, mom.
No, I slept okay last night.
What are you and Caro doing?
Oh blech, hate those chips.
Oh, hold on.
Dad, mom wants to talk to you, she said
that you won't call her back.
- Tell her I've gone to work.
- Uh, mom, dad's just
already gone to work--
- Tess, I've got to go,
I'll call you later, okay?
(beep)
- That was mature.
- Well who calls at 8 AM?
- Yeah, she called all day yesterday too.
- How many times?
- Okay, I'm off.
- I'm not happy, Lewis.
- I'll call her at work or later.
- Bye, dad.
(upbeat music)
♪ Simplicity, ♪
♪ I see you moving away from me. ♪
♪ Well complexity, ♪
♪ I know you're drawing near to me. ♪
♪ But life's not so bad, ♪
♪ I like the gray that's in between. ♪
- You wanna hang onto it?
- Ah, Charlie, it's hot.
- I know it's hot, you
hang onto this, mate?
You hang onto it?
- Let mommy have a go.
- I'll run, you can't run in those.
- Ready, set, go, ah!
- Look at that!
(cheering)
It's uh...
I dunnae have power!
Come on!
- Run, Charlie run!
- Yes, thank you!
- Run, Charlie!
- Run, Charlie run!
(laughing)
- Doggone it.
This thing's bloody useless.
- Don't you think it's
stretching the friendship
a little bit?
- What, who with?
- Living next door to your ex-wife.
Do you want some of that?
- We were never married.
- And her new husband,
living life every day,
"Good morning, Lewis, can I
borrow some fabric softener?"
- Now look, we're family, plus
we haven't got the place yet,
because cock gobbler real estate agent
hasn't called me back yet.
- Well I just sense some
major discomfort from Lewis.
- Look, Lewis is one of those blokes
who thrives on people not knowing
what he's thinking, you know?
- Okay, what does that mean?
- Hello?
Ah, Lewis.
Well yeah, sure, mate.
This rubber arm is bent.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Well guess who just invited
Charlie over for drinks
on the terrazzo this evening?
- Ah he did not.
(laughing)
Look at you.
- Yeah, well.
- Bit excited.
- I am.
I'm not, I dunno.
It's just, you know,
I've never really been
into the whole mates thing.
It could be good.
(laughing)
- [Marcus] What have you got?
- [Dylan] Bread and margarine.
Frank can't find the box
where she put everything,
so there's no meat, and I'm
eating trailer park shit.
What about you?
- Vegemite and lettuce.
I wonder why.
- [Dylan] Dude, you should
seriously ask your dad
for an alternative sandwich.
- [Marcus] Yeah, and a
couple slaps to the head.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- What?
- Nothing.
- [Marcus] Seriously, what's up?
- The Islander guys are spreading
that they're gonna gay bash Dylan.
Everyone knows.
- Bullshit.
- No, Fui Fui just told me.
- You're gonna get smashed.
- You're in so much hell, Dylan.
- It's cool.
My dad made a deal.
I'm protected.
It's like some sort of
mafia shit or something,
I dunno.
Just be cool.
- So what do you do, Karen?
- Caroline.
- [Frank] Ah, shit, Caroline, sorry.
- It's okay, no one remembers my name.
- Oh no, I will remember it from now on,
I've just had a weird couple of days.
- I'm a bus driver.
- Oh really?
Wow, public buses?
- [Carol] Yup.
- Carol comes home with the
most extraordinary stories.
Bus is a world in itself.
- [Carol] Definitely.
When you drive a bus, you meet the world.
- Yeah, I bet.
Hey, darling.
- Ah, look what the cat dragged in.
- No pussy jokes today, please, Lewis.
- So how are we all?
Comfortable?
- Yeah, we're, yeah, Frankie's
been very hospitable.
- Fun.
It's good, that makes me feel very warm.
- Yeah, I thought I'd invite
Tess and Caroline over
so that we could talk about
Dylan's living situation.
- Yeah, well I was about to do
exactly the same thing myself,
I was just going to wait
'til we're all settled
in our respective places and then bam,
I was just gonna jump straight into it.
- We all thought that, assumed that,
didn't we, Tess?
- Yup, sure did, so what,
shall we get started?
I actually thought Dylan
should probably be here--
- Can I just be so rude as to
request a shower for myself,
it's just that I've been
in the studio all day
with some sweaty musicians,
and I feel the need
to be sparkling and clean for this
impending family admin session.
Is that okay?
Any objections?
- Oh yeah, go for it.
(techno music in headphones)
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
- They were like about to
kill you from their car!
- No, they're just making fun of it.
My dad's got it organized, I swear.
- You can't walk on your
own when you go home.
They're gonna smash you so bad.
- Why so paranoid about it?
Look, you're going all red and everything.
- I dunno.
Have you seen Once for Aries?
I like you.
So like, whatever, you know?
(upbeat music)
(water splattering)
- Cool, well, I'll go do my homework then.
- No, stay Dylan.
- Yeah, you should stay for this, Dylan.
- He doesn't have to stay
if he doesn't want to.
- You can go to your room
if you want to, mate.
- Cool.
- So how is the school?
- I think it seems like a pretty--
- It's fantastic, the
teachers are exceptional,
and he's had no troubles--
- Apart from the poofta graffiti,
and the physical threats.
- Yep.
Apart from those small
teething problems, not at all.
- Before things get heavy,
I'd like to bring up
the topic of the lizards.
- Ah yes, great idea.
- Carol moved all the lizards
up with absolute care.
- Thanks for that.
- Now there are two
here, three at our place,
plus the snake.
I was wondering if that
ratio was okay for you guys.
- Yep, that sounds like a great ratio.
- Yup, fantastic, gives him
something to look forward to
when he visits you.
- You don't think he looks
forward to staying with us?
- No, I didn't mean that,
I meant that it gives him
more to look forward to, more
enjoyment, more excitement.
- I think Dylan should
be in a Steiner school.
- He's happy where he is.
- I think that Steiner
would really suit him.
- Look, I said our son
is happy where he is.
All right?
He likes his life as it is, he's happy.
- Teenagers don't always
know when they're happy.
- Mine does, because he
finds himself smiling
all the time.
- So can you just not
raise your voice, please?
- [Dylan] Dad?
- What is it, Dylan?
- Can I just talk to dad
privately for a second, please?
- Well why don't you just...
Come and talk to all of us?
- I just, I really need
to ask dad a question.
It's kind of urgent.
The Islanders are here.
- The Islanders?
- The big Samoan dudes you paid
to protect me from getting gay bashed?
They're here to gay bash me themselves
unless you pay them more.
They said that the contract
has expired, you ass-bandit.
- They called you--
- Fucking go and see for yourself.
- Lewis, you gotta pay us more, bro,
or we let the dogs out on the faggot.
- What did I tell you
about private visits?
- No private visits.
- Right.
So why don't you come down and see me
at the recording studio tomorrow?
- No way.
What recording studio?
Did Dylan say we drop
the funky-ass rhymes?
- Did Dylan tell you that I record
for some of Australia's
leading Hip-hop acts?
So, why don't you come down
to the studio tomorrow,
and we'll see how
funky-ass your rhymes are.
- Bro are you for real?
Shit, man.
You really mean it?
- Yeah.
I mean everything I say when
it comes to music, Fui Fui.
- Aw man.
- That's right, man, now fuck off.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- Boys, let's go.
- Adolescents are way too
absorbed in their hormonal
spin to know what happiness is.
It's only later, with the
clarity and the perspective
of adulthood can one truly
know how happy one was.
Or not.
I've experienced a lot of
teenagers on a lot of buses so--
- Look, I'm not going to pull him out
of another fucking institution just so--
- Do you have to fucking swear?
- Right, can we all just try and
attempt to talk about
where he's gonna live?
- Well if it's okay, I just thought
I could start things off, because
I've been in this exact same
situation with my ex-partner,
Charlie when Lou was around.
- Right, and
so you did a fair bit of
back and forth with Lou,
is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
For five of the eight years.
- And what worked with you guys?
- Um well, we did the
Friday-to-Friday swap,
so you know, we could have
Dylan up until the weekend,
you'd have him for the
weekend, up until Friday,
and then he'd come back to us for a week.
- Sounds fair.
- Yeah.
Well, do you want to do that for a month?
And then regroup at the end
and see how everyone feels,
and then we can talk about schools then.
And we should all swap mobile numbers too.
You know, so we can
call each other, or text
if we can't find something,
or you know, you're late
for a drop-off or something.
- I'm very happy with that.
- [Carol] Me too.
- Yup, me too.
- Okay.
I feel like a whiskey.
Does anyone want a whiskey?
- No, that's okay.
- I'll join you for one.
- [Lewis] Not for me, babe.
- She's quite nice, your wife.
- Thank you, Carol, I agree.
- I mean
now we've been seriously
looking Thursdays and Saturdays
for months now.
I've been having nightmares about
rising damp and rear lane
access, blah blah blah.
- Oh it's the worst, it's the worst.
Buying a house is the worst.
- I just want to find somewhere that's us.
- Yeah, well, it's the
most important thing.
- It would be all right,
living next-door to you guys,
I mean you're handy.
- Oh that's what we
thought, I mean that's why
it's such a pity the place has been sold.
(laughing)
Look.
- What are you talking about?
- It's madness.
- I spoke to the estate agent today,
he said there'd been no offers on it.
- Yeah, I mean these guys
came along this afternoon,
and they just, freakish
casho, slapped it up there
and then it was gone.
I said that I knew you, but.
- Oh yeah, what did they say?
- Contract's signed, gone.
- What time is it?
Because I was about to go home at 5:30.
You feel good now, hm?
- Huh?
(splashing)
- Wait no, I...
(bottle clanging)
- Say goodbye to Frankie for me.
- Where did Charlie go?
- He had to go.
- Oh.
- He's a nice guy.
- Yeah.
He's our family.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm okay.
- Everyone seems to like the house.
- Well that's something, isn't it?
It's a great house.
(bright music)
the death of my daughter
that I've truly began to
understand my own lack of faith.
- If you still feel like
this on your birthday
in three months, then I'll help you.
- Help me kill myself?
- What are friends for?
- Hello!
- Hello!
- There's somebody living in the house.
- You're kidding!
How long 'til whoever's here can get out?
- It's not that simple.
- This is my house.
This is Lou's house!
Where's Charlie?
- Charlie's not living here.
- I think we're finished,
pushed it too far.
- There was a man at Julia's
place today waiting for her.
- [Gerry] So?
- [Brenda] Well it
didn't take long, did it?
- Clive has pancreatic
cancer, it's quite advanced.
- You're dying?
- Look at you, both living at home.
Where's your wife, your children?
You've got nothing.
- [Clive] Who's reading "The
Heart is a Lonely Hunter"?
- I am.
- My son Lewis is reading it too.
- You never told me you had a son.
- [Lewis] Francesca?
You want to get a drink?
- You've been in Sydney less than a month,
and you've hardly left my bed,
not that I'm complaining--
- Do you want to meet with my friends?
- She married him.
- Bullshit.
- You made those vows!
- You left me!
You left your son!
- That boy in makeup's staring at me.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Dylan, Lewis' son is staking
with us for a few days.
- I want to go to school
here, and live in your house.
- Have you explained
to your mom about this?
- What happened to your face?
- Oh yeah, it's good.
- No, no, your eye.
Poofta?
The fuck's going on, Lewis?
- I lie in bed thinking black
hateful shit about myself.
- It'll pass.
- [Di] I'm just scared you
fell in love and married him
before you knew him.
- I know enough.
- But you didn't know he drank.
You didn't know you were
going to bring up his child.
- Dylan?
What's that?
What's this, a syringe?
Do you want to try this?
- Do you?
- [Lewis] It's an eviction notice.
- I'm not moving.
- You don't have any choice,
it could be a good thing.
Who is that?
- So what, are you pregnant or something?
- What?
You are?
Oh my god, congratulations!
- Here's to the rest of our lives.
- I'm just leaving the house now,
do you want to say goodbye?
- Goodbye!
(bright music)
♪ The healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter ♪
♪ Will keep us well ♪
♪ Forever after. ♪
♪ We'll lose ourselves ♪
♪ And find each other ♪
♪ In the healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter. ♪
- Whoo!
♪ The healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter ♪
♪ Will keep us well ♪
♪ Through all disaster. ♪
♪ We'll bring the roof down, ♪
♪ And then the rafters ♪
♪ With the healing power ♪
♪ Of helpless laughter. ♪
- Am I interested?
Nope.
(knocking)
Yep, coming!
Just don't let it be some mad woman
that wants something from me.
- Bing bong, it's the Avon lady!
- Look who's here!
- Happy housewarming.
- [Frank] Is that you, mom?
- Yeah!
- Look at you!
Isn't it great?
Well don't strain yourselves, boys.
This is our room, check out the wallpaper.
Come up stairs.
- Been throwing dad's plastic
around a bit lately, Di?
- Oh just buying a few
nice things for my family.
- How's the ceilings?
Look how high they are.
Original wall lights.
- Whoa.
- [Frank] Check out the carpet.
- And a big bottle of
Maui, how extravagant.
- There's no point in
champaign if it's not French,
Lewis, your father told me that.
- Yes, he sure did.
- Kitchen.
- Shall we open it together?
- I mean you can ask him, I mean,
I'm not drinking, obviously.
- What are we psst psst psst-ing about?
- Mom's just wondering
whether you're drinking.
Do you want a drink?
- No, no thank you.
- I'm actually being quite responsible
with Clive's finances.
- Oh yeah, I'm not suggesting anything
to the contrary, darling.
- To the frocks and hairdo?
- [Lewis] Right, sure, no, to the wine.
- You don't like the place, mom?
- Oh look of course, I mean
it's undeniably charming.
Lots of room, just don't
know why you wouldn't want
to come live with me at Clive's.
- Well we love it here.
- Never seen such happy people.
I feel quite uncomfortable.
- I'm busting to do a wee.
- Yeah, happiness has that
effect on her bladder.
- Does Dylan like it here?
- Yeah, thinks this place
has got a good energy.
He's actually becoming
a very mature adult.
(giggling)
(farting)
(laughing)
- Flaming ring of fire.
- Blast from the ass.
- Phalanx from the anus.
- Hey Dylan, Di's out there, why don't you
come and say hello.
- Yeah, I will.
- Hey, hey, stop trying
to blow up your bum hole.
You're going to need it, I assume.
- Clive would've loved it here
for the quietly camp
feeling he was fond of.
Darling?
- Can't find my pan at all.
- Where have you looked?
- I hate it when everything's in boxes,
there's no way of
knowing what anything is.
- Have you got pain?
- I get mystery aches when I'm pregnant.
I did with Lou too.
Ah!
- You been to your ultrasound yet?
- Yeah.
- [Di] And?
- Um.
I reckon it's a boy, maybe.
- So exciting.
- What's exciting?
- Frankie reckons she thinks it's a boy.
- Yeah, possibly, or a girl.
- He'll be beautiful.
How could he not be beautiful?
- You all right?
- Yup.
- Can you smoke inside at your house?
Lovely.
- [Lewis] So, I was thinking,
I might turn one of those downstairs rooms
into a recording studio.
- Or an art studio for Frankie.
- Yeah, a work room.
Babe, what do you think of that idea?
If we turn the downstairs
room into a recording studio?
- Mom, I'm having a bleed.
- What sort of bleed, how much?
- Just a tiny bit.
God I'm ten weeks
pregnant, and I'm bleeding.
- Who's your obstetrician?
- I don't have an obstetrician.
It's okay, it's just a tiny bit.
I'm going to go lie down, it's okay.
(bright music)
(chattering in the car)
- Look, Charlie.
- [Charlie] Yes, yep.
- No don't look, it's right
next to Frank and Lewis.
Don't look.
- [Charlie] Top spot.
- [Julia] Hello!
- Welcome, family.
- How'd you score this place, mate?
- [Lewis] Well they're gonna
knock it down in a year or so,
so we've got cheap rent on it.
You like it?
- It's gorgeous.
- And you're gorgeous.
(laughing)
- Hello.
- Yeah, you're gorgeous, too.
Frank, come on.
What's up?
- Nothing.
What's up with you?
- Well you were bursting with
uncontrollable joy an hour ago.
- Ah, Frank, I'm so jealous.
- Do you want to have another baby?
- Oh god no.
- What?
- Sorry, I didn't mean that.
I meant the house!
- Oh!
- This house you're living in.
- Sorry.
I know, the house, yeah.
The views are great.
- You see that place next door's for sale?
- Really, nextdoor to us?
- Yeah, there's a sign up down there.
It's of excellent size.
- But it's so close to you guys,
so we'd never even think about doing that.
- Here it is.
You ready?
- What?
- This is Tom's farewell letter to me,
and it should be pretty good.
"Dear Charlie, my brother,
"I'm leaving on a jet plane,
you know how the song goes.
"So take care of ma' for me, bro.
"She's the earth mother.
"So long for now, big guy.
"One day, we will meet again.
"For we're journeymen lost in
the dark sky of our dreams."
- Oh bullshit, he didn't say
"dark sky of our dreams."
- You wanna bet, it's right here!
- He's a funny boy, Tom.
- [Charlie] But wait, there's more here.
- Oh stop it, Charlie, it's cruel.
- No no keep going, I want to hear more
of Tom's vivid imagery.
- Yeah, it's sweet.
Australia mouths never
open about their feelings.
- Yeah, well there's a reason for that.
- "I love you, Charlie, my brah
"more than every wave on
every silk blue beach,
"for you are my soul,
my energy, my heartbeat.
"Through the valley of darkness, you rise
"time and time again like a tyrant.
"The sunlight is yours
now, love, in bulk, Tom."
- I'm tearing up.
- "P.S. I should've fucked your
wife when I had the chance."
Hah!
- He did not say that.
- That's vivid imagery.
- What a little fag.
- Told you not to read that aloud.
- [Charlie] Get a load of this prick.
- Jerk.
- Hey, did you get a Tom letter?
- Oh yeah, we all did, except you.
- What'd it say?
- It said, like I can
borrow his old wetsuit,
it's in the laundry.
I need to go to the toilet.
- Unbelievable.
- What an idiot.
- [Lewis] You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, move move.
- [Charlie] You know,
it's pretty much standard.
(gentle jazzy music)
(crashing)
Fucking hell, oh Jesus.
- Babe, are you all right?
- Doctor Livingston, I presume?
(laughing)
We can get in the back there.
- No, tell me this isn't happening.
Toby, I need you to talk him out of it.
I need you to talk them out of it.
You don't want to live there.
- We should think about dinner.
Picture on this phone is amazing.
- Yes, the resolution's amazing.
The lens on my phone is better
than the lens on my camera.
It's nice.
- I should get myself a
really good modern phone
like this one.
Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.
- So what do you think, Charlie?
Just gonna go for it?
Bang bang, shift in?
- No, no, I wouldn't do that, you know,
I mean structurally it seems pretty sound,
but you can't tell just
looking over the fence.
- Yeah, you're right, it's
probably not worth it.
- Well no, I'll get an inspection.
Give it a thorough looking over.
If you're gonna spend the money, you know.
- Oh pizza.
- Wicked.
- Everything okay, Frank?
- Uh yeah.
Just boxes.
- Get a plate.
- [Charlie] That house, babe, that house,
it's just so well thought
out, I've gotta get in it.
- [Dylan] What house is that?
- The one next door, Dylan.
- You gonna buy it?
- Um, no.
Maybe.
- We'll see.
- Gee, have for long?
- Okay, babe.
Put your foot in here,
and I'll hoik you over.
- I don't want to get my dress dirty.
- Oh my god, I thought you'd
toughened up over the years,
but you're still the same silver spoons
private schools girly girl pussy.
- I grew up in the country, Charlie.
I rode bare back in the rain,
I cut the balls off of sheep,
and I have a criminal record,
for fuck's sake, okay?
So put your hands together.
Now.
(grunting)
(crashing)
- [Charlie] You all right, babe?
- [Julia] Oh for fuck's sake, Charlie.
- Here, can you take this?
(splashing)
(giggling)
- Oi, dude, lick the ember,
don't lick the shaft.
- I know what to do, fag.
- You're a fag.
- Who do you reckon's hotter,
Julia or Frankie?
- Oh dude, weak, Frankie's
like my step-mom.
- I reckon Julia's so hot.
She'd be like a mad root.
(giggling)
- You gonna take her to the mall?
- Yeah.
(giggling)
Hey yeah, Julia, wanna come
play straight four to two
with me on Tuesday?
(laughing)
- Take her out for tacos.
- Make out on the escalators.
(sobbing)
- Oh fuck it, mom!
- There there.
- I can't keep anything.
- You don't know that it's gone.
- Ah, I know it, mom, I know it's gone.
- Hey.
Hey what's going on?
- I'm bleeding, Lewis.
- You what, you're bleeding?
- I just need to get to the hospital.
- W-why didn't you tell me?
- Well, we've lost it.
- And what, you were just,
were you just gonna wait
until I guessed this, or?
- Oh come on, honey, I don't
want to talk about this,
darling, let's just get into the Volvo--
- The Volvo shat itself.
- I know, it'll start
now, the sun's gone down.
- No, no, I gave it to the
guy with the tow truck.
- You what?
- Well the thing was,
honey, it was a gas guzzling
piece of shit, and we were
lucky to have the guy take--
- I need my car now!
- We don't have the car.
- Oh great!
No car.
- No, we'll take Charlie and Julia's car.
- Lew, I bought that car with the money
from the first painting I ever sold.
- [Lewis] Okay, come
on, it'll be all right.
- I'll drive you.
(arguing)
(window sliding open)
(grunting)
- We're in!
- I can't even believe we're doing this.
- Shh.
- There's two reasons why this is insane.
One, we could get arrested,
two, we're not living
next door to your ex-wife!
- [Charlie] She was never my ex-wife,
we were never married, babe.
- Package looks nice though.
- It's double-fronted.
We'll need a new kitchen.
- Charlie, there's two bathrooms!
Let's turn on a light.
Charlie.
- Come on, babe, let's be wrong.
- This is the third reason
why we should not be here.
- I'm just innocently
inspecting the furnishings.
(door opening)
- Shit!
- Is someone in here?
- I told you this was
a fucking stupid idea,
but do you fucking listen to me?
No you fucking don't!
I already have a criminal record!
- And you've cut the balls off sheep.
- Don't think I wouldn't do it to you.
- Babe, we're gonna have
to stay here overnight
and make a run for it in the morning.
I don't want to do it, Charlie.
(screaming)
- Di!?
Ridiculous.
- Jesus, he just wanted mommy and daddy,
he didn't know where you were.
It's all right, Dylan's there.
- Oh right, cool, so a
stoned teenage homosexual
is looking after my three year old son.
- Yeah, you feel safe?
- Look, no more now.
- Where's the car?
- Oh my god, has the car been stolen?
(arguing)
- Frank and Lewis took the
car to get to hospital.
- What happened?
- [Di] Frank started bleeding.
- Oh god, how far gone was she?
- Ten weeks.
- Oh, Frank.
Of all the people.
- She had already had a miscarriage.
- You never told me that.
I can't believe this.
Life is such a cruel thing.
- [Carol] Hey, mate.
There you go, in you go.
- Those lizards love you.
- They're cold-blooded.
We understand each other.
Have you got on to Lewis?
- No.
I've called him six times, that's now
officially called stalking.
- [Carol] Haven't tried the land line?
- Nah, they wouldn't have it on there.
- Call connect, see if they do.
- Is that to Angela Lansbury,
calling the land line?
- Just ask for the number.
- Oh hi, I'm after a city number, please.
Thank you.
(phone ringing)
- Hello.
- [Tess] Hi, Frankie?
- No, it's Frank's mother, Di.
- Hi, um, Di, it's Tess
here, Dylan's mother.
- Um, Frank's not here.
- [Tess] Uh, is Lewis there--
- No, he's not either, they've
both gone out to the shops.
- Right, can I speak to my son?
- Oh, you're...
- I'm Tess, Dylan's mother.
- Did you say that?
- I think I did say that.
- Said it three fucking times.
- I'm sorry, Tess, did
you just swear at me?
- [Tess] Sorry, what was that, Di?
- I'll just transport you.
- Transport me?
- [Di] Yeah, Dylan is in his room.
- Dylan?
- [Dylan] Yeah?
- It's your mother.
- Thanks.
Yo, mom.
- Hi, darling.
- Hey, um, look, I'm in the
middle of some foreign homework
right now, can I, I'll call you later.
- Oh no, no, no, I'd like to talk to you
about something now.
- Cool, well I'll call you later, okay?
Bye.
- He hung up!
- Can I call them next time?
- No.
- Why not?
- Because.
- I wouldn't put up with his shit.
(tense music)
- I don't, I don't want to go inside.
- It'll be all right, you don't have
to say anything to anyone.
- Yeah, it's just everyone's
always feeling sorry for me.
- Yeah well, that's because
you're married to me.
(snort)
Come on, you've got a good family.
- Yeah.
- We'll take care of it.
- Frank.
- Hi, darling.
- It's okay, don't get all...
I'm okay.
- You sure?
- Yeah yeah, I'm fine.
Just.
- Come sit down.
You want a cup of tea?
- [Frank] No thanks, mom.
- Who brought the stereo up?
- Oh, I brought the amp up
and connected the speakers,
set the TV up.
- Okay, well it doesn't belong up here.
- Oh, sorry.
- Thanks, Charlie.
- It's just, it's my stuff,
I'd prefer you didn't touch it.
- Oh, pardon me.
- Oh god, I'm so sick of everyone talking.
- Yeah, we'll go.
- We lost it.
So, that is that.
- Frankie--
- Can I get you anything, Di?
- What's that?
- Can I get you anything, or are you fine,
do you have everything?
- Gee, Lewis, I'm sorry if I managed to--
(inhaling)
- [Lewis] Marcus.
- Yeah?
- Charlie and Julia are leaving.
- So?
- So get a lift with them.
Slumber party's over.
- But dad, it's not that late.
(door slamming)
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm okay.
- You keep saying "I'm okay."
- Because I am, I'm okay.
Hey mom, what was my dad's full name?
- What?
- You heard me, his full name.
- Are you guys all right
to take Marcus home?
- [Julia] Yeah, yup.
- It's not much of a detour,
he'll show you the way.
What's that stink?
- Oh yeah, that's Toby, he
just dropped a filthy bomb.
He's been a bit off lately.
- It stinks.
- It's just shit.
- [Julia] Aw it's awful, and I'm sorry.
- Thanks for having us, mate.
- Are you coming with us, Marco?
- Marcus, yep.
- Sorry.
- Thanks for setting
up the stereo, Charlie.
- No worries.
- Thanks, Julia.
- [Julia] It's okay, you rest, okay?
- Yep.
- Bye bye, sweetheart.
- See you, mommy.
- Bye.
- See ya.
(farewells)
- Go to bed, mate.
Oh man, at last.
- [Charlie] Hello, knock knock!
- Fuck off.
- [Charlie] Could someone
throw me down my keys?
- You've got the car.
- Ah, shit.
Here, sorry about that.
- Thanks, mate.
- [Lewis] No worries.
- You rest.
- Huh?
- Rest, get some rest.
- Oh yeah, sure, see you.
- [Charlie] See you, mate.
(door shutting)
- They're all gone.
And the night is at rest.
- I could call Charlie
back over if you want.
(chuckling)
- How are you?
- I'm okay.
Painkillers are taking effect now, so.
- No, how are you really?
- I really want to have a baby with you.
- Me too.
- But
I'm kind of okay.
- Okay?
- Well...
The whole thing felt kind of rushed,
and I don't know, it
obviously wasn't meant to be.
We will one day, though.
- You're so cool, Frankie Paige.
- You think so?
At least we can play again now,
both of us.
There's no reason to
stay sober now, is there?
- That's what I was thinking.
- I can't sit up though, Lew.
- Okay.
Then,
open your mouth.
Careful with this.
All right?
- Mm.
- I love you.
(upbeat music)
- [Tom] Gotta say, it was really nice
traveling with you, Monica.
- Yeah, you too, Tom.
Are you going to be okay, though?
I mean, you drank a lot of vodka,
and you took a lot of valium.
- I'm tough, baby.
I'm Australian.
Hey, I've got your
card, so when I'm in LA,
I'll look you up, and maybe we'll go.
- That'll be cool.
- Yeah?
- I'd like to see you again.
- Yeah, I'd like to see you again too.
- See you, take care.
- See you later.
Bye, Monica.
Yeah, I think Tom will enjoy
a few cigars with Monica.
G'day.
- How are you doing?
- I'm fucking great, how are you?
- I'm good, thanks.
- [Tom] I told you, man.
I'm sponsored by a restaurant in Brooklyn.
It's called Lime.
I've given you Kurt's name
and number, it's all sorted.
I mean,
I have an E3 visa, do you have any idea
how much bullshit you've
gotta file to get that?
I have all the proper documentation, man.
I am legit.
- Found a drug eviction charge
here on your record, amigo.
- What?
- Possession of marijuana
right here on the database.
- No no no no no, that
was like one plant, man,
and it wasn't even mine, so.
- We're going to have
to send you home, sir.
- No no no no no, it was
like half a foot high,
and that was like twelve years ago, okay?
- You can follow Vincenzo
through the doors
and see the people at the
desk, they'll assist you.
- No no no, I'm not going
to follow Vincenzo anywhere,
now stamp the passport and
let me the fuck through,
I am not fucking kidding, man!
Okay?
Come on!
Man, come on, look, I'm
sorry I swore at you, man,
it's been a long flight, I'm sorry.
Dude, just let me through!
I'll give a thousand bucks, man!
- Now if you'll just pull
your jeans down, please, sir.
(rubber snapping)
This is all quite routine, sir.
- Yeah, yeah.
Not my fucking routine.
- Now if you'll just relax,
I'll try to get you into
position, all right?
- Yeah.
- Okay, now, just breathe in.
- Oh momma.
- Here we go.
(grunting)
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
No, hey, mom.
No, I slept okay last night.
What are you and Caro doing?
Oh blech, hate those chips.
Oh, hold on.
Dad, mom wants to talk to you, she said
that you won't call her back.
- Tell her I've gone to work.
- Uh, mom, dad's just
already gone to work--
- Tess, I've got to go,
I'll call you later, okay?
(beep)
- That was mature.
- Well who calls at 8 AM?
- Yeah, she called all day yesterday too.
- How many times?
- Okay, I'm off.
- I'm not happy, Lewis.
- I'll call her at work or later.
- Bye, dad.
(upbeat music)
♪ Simplicity, ♪
♪ I see you moving away from me. ♪
♪ Well complexity, ♪
♪ I know you're drawing near to me. ♪
♪ But life's not so bad, ♪
♪ I like the gray that's in between. ♪
- You wanna hang onto it?
- Ah, Charlie, it's hot.
- I know it's hot, you
hang onto this, mate?
You hang onto it?
- Let mommy have a go.
- I'll run, you can't run in those.
- Ready, set, go, ah!
- Look at that!
(cheering)
It's uh...
I dunnae have power!
Come on!
- Run, Charlie run!
- Yes, thank you!
- Run, Charlie!
- Run, Charlie run!
(laughing)
- Doggone it.
This thing's bloody useless.
- Don't you think it's
stretching the friendship
a little bit?
- What, who with?
- Living next door to your ex-wife.
Do you want some of that?
- We were never married.
- And her new husband,
living life every day,
"Good morning, Lewis, can I
borrow some fabric softener?"
- Now look, we're family, plus
we haven't got the place yet,
because cock gobbler real estate agent
hasn't called me back yet.
- Well I just sense some
major discomfort from Lewis.
- Look, Lewis is one of those blokes
who thrives on people not knowing
what he's thinking, you know?
- Okay, what does that mean?
- Hello?
Ah, Lewis.
Well yeah, sure, mate.
This rubber arm is bent.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Well guess who just invited
Charlie over for drinks
on the terrazzo this evening?
- Ah he did not.
(laughing)
Look at you.
- Yeah, well.
- Bit excited.
- I am.
I'm not, I dunno.
It's just, you know,
I've never really been
into the whole mates thing.
It could be good.
(laughing)
- [Marcus] What have you got?
- [Dylan] Bread and margarine.
Frank can't find the box
where she put everything,
so there's no meat, and I'm
eating trailer park shit.
What about you?
- Vegemite and lettuce.
I wonder why.
- [Dylan] Dude, you should
seriously ask your dad
for an alternative sandwich.
- [Marcus] Yeah, and a
couple slaps to the head.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- What?
- Nothing.
- [Marcus] Seriously, what's up?
- The Islander guys are spreading
that they're gonna gay bash Dylan.
Everyone knows.
- Bullshit.
- No, Fui Fui just told me.
- You're gonna get smashed.
- You're in so much hell, Dylan.
- It's cool.
My dad made a deal.
I'm protected.
It's like some sort of
mafia shit or something,
I dunno.
Just be cool.
- So what do you do, Karen?
- Caroline.
- [Frank] Ah, shit, Caroline, sorry.
- It's okay, no one remembers my name.
- Oh no, I will remember it from now on,
I've just had a weird couple of days.
- I'm a bus driver.
- Oh really?
Wow, public buses?
- [Carol] Yup.
- Carol comes home with the
most extraordinary stories.
Bus is a world in itself.
- [Carol] Definitely.
When you drive a bus, you meet the world.
- Yeah, I bet.
Hey, darling.
- Ah, look what the cat dragged in.
- No pussy jokes today, please, Lewis.
- So how are we all?
Comfortable?
- Yeah, we're, yeah, Frankie's
been very hospitable.
- Fun.
It's good, that makes me feel very warm.
- Yeah, I thought I'd invite
Tess and Caroline over
so that we could talk about
Dylan's living situation.
- Yeah, well I was about to do
exactly the same thing myself,
I was just going to wait
'til we're all settled
in our respective places and then bam,
I was just gonna jump straight into it.
- We all thought that, assumed that,
didn't we, Tess?
- Yup, sure did, so what,
shall we get started?
I actually thought Dylan
should probably be here--
- Can I just be so rude as to
request a shower for myself,
it's just that I've been
in the studio all day
with some sweaty musicians,
and I feel the need
to be sparkling and clean for this
impending family admin session.
Is that okay?
Any objections?
- Oh yeah, go for it.
(techno music in headphones)
(engine revving)
(tires screeching)
- They were like about to
kill you from their car!
- No, they're just making fun of it.
My dad's got it organized, I swear.
- You can't walk on your
own when you go home.
They're gonna smash you so bad.
- Why so paranoid about it?
Look, you're going all red and everything.
- I dunno.
Have you seen Once for Aries?
I like you.
So like, whatever, you know?
(upbeat music)
(water splattering)
- Cool, well, I'll go do my homework then.
- No, stay Dylan.
- Yeah, you should stay for this, Dylan.
- He doesn't have to stay
if he doesn't want to.
- You can go to your room
if you want to, mate.
- Cool.
- So how is the school?
- I think it seems like a pretty--
- It's fantastic, the
teachers are exceptional,
and he's had no troubles--
- Apart from the poofta graffiti,
and the physical threats.
- Yep.
Apart from those small
teething problems, not at all.
- Before things get heavy,
I'd like to bring up
the topic of the lizards.
- Ah yes, great idea.
- Carol moved all the lizards
up with absolute care.
- Thanks for that.
- Now there are two
here, three at our place,
plus the snake.
I was wondering if that
ratio was okay for you guys.
- Yep, that sounds like a great ratio.
- Yup, fantastic, gives him
something to look forward to
when he visits you.
- You don't think he looks
forward to staying with us?
- No, I didn't mean that,
I meant that it gives him
more to look forward to, more
enjoyment, more excitement.
- I think Dylan should
be in a Steiner school.
- He's happy where he is.
- I think that Steiner
would really suit him.
- Look, I said our son
is happy where he is.
All right?
He likes his life as it is, he's happy.
- Teenagers don't always
know when they're happy.
- Mine does, because he
finds himself smiling
all the time.
- So can you just not
raise your voice, please?
- [Dylan] Dad?
- What is it, Dylan?
- Can I just talk to dad
privately for a second, please?
- Well why don't you just...
Come and talk to all of us?
- I just, I really need
to ask dad a question.
It's kind of urgent.
The Islanders are here.
- The Islanders?
- The big Samoan dudes you paid
to protect me from getting gay bashed?
They're here to gay bash me themselves
unless you pay them more.
They said that the contract
has expired, you ass-bandit.
- They called you--
- Fucking go and see for yourself.
- Lewis, you gotta pay us more, bro,
or we let the dogs out on the faggot.
- What did I tell you
about private visits?
- No private visits.
- Right.
So why don't you come down and see me
at the recording studio tomorrow?
- No way.
What recording studio?
Did Dylan say we drop
the funky-ass rhymes?
- Did Dylan tell you that I record
for some of Australia's
leading Hip-hop acts?
So, why don't you come down
to the studio tomorrow,
and we'll see how
funky-ass your rhymes are.
- Bro are you for real?
Shit, man.
You really mean it?
- Yeah.
I mean everything I say when
it comes to music, Fui Fui.
- Aw man.
- That's right, man, now fuck off.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- Boys, let's go.
- Adolescents are way too
absorbed in their hormonal
spin to know what happiness is.
It's only later, with the
clarity and the perspective
of adulthood can one truly
know how happy one was.
Or not.
I've experienced a lot of
teenagers on a lot of buses so--
- Look, I'm not going to pull him out
of another fucking institution just so--
- Do you have to fucking swear?
- Right, can we all just try and
attempt to talk about
where he's gonna live?
- Well if it's okay, I just thought
I could start things off, because
I've been in this exact same
situation with my ex-partner,
Charlie when Lou was around.
- Right, and
so you did a fair bit of
back and forth with Lou,
is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
For five of the eight years.
- And what worked with you guys?
- Um well, we did the
Friday-to-Friday swap,
so you know, we could have
Dylan up until the weekend,
you'd have him for the
weekend, up until Friday,
and then he'd come back to us for a week.
- Sounds fair.
- Yeah.
Well, do you want to do that for a month?
And then regroup at the end
and see how everyone feels,
and then we can talk about schools then.
And we should all swap mobile numbers too.
You know, so we can
call each other, or text
if we can't find something,
or you know, you're late
for a drop-off or something.
- I'm very happy with that.
- [Carol] Me too.
- Yup, me too.
- Okay.
I feel like a whiskey.
Does anyone want a whiskey?
- No, that's okay.
- I'll join you for one.
- [Lewis] Not for me, babe.
- She's quite nice, your wife.
- Thank you, Carol, I agree.
- I mean
now we've been seriously
looking Thursdays and Saturdays
for months now.
I've been having nightmares about
rising damp and rear lane
access, blah blah blah.
- Oh it's the worst, it's the worst.
Buying a house is the worst.
- I just want to find somewhere that's us.
- Yeah, well, it's the
most important thing.
- It would be all right,
living next-door to you guys,
I mean you're handy.
- Oh that's what we
thought, I mean that's why
it's such a pity the place has been sold.
(laughing)
Look.
- What are you talking about?
- It's madness.
- I spoke to the estate agent today,
he said there'd been no offers on it.
- Yeah, I mean these guys
came along this afternoon,
and they just, freakish
casho, slapped it up there
and then it was gone.
I said that I knew you, but.
- Oh yeah, what did they say?
- Contract's signed, gone.
- What time is it?
Because I was about to go home at 5:30.
You feel good now, hm?
- Huh?
(splashing)
- Wait no, I...
(bottle clanging)
- Say goodbye to Frankie for me.
- Where did Charlie go?
- He had to go.
- Oh.
- He's a nice guy.
- Yeah.
He's our family.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm okay.
- Everyone seems to like the house.
- Well that's something, isn't it?
It's a great house.
(bright music)