Love Me (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
Clara. Hi.
Greg.
Hi. Oh!
How are ya?
Oh. Oh, nice to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
OK?
Yeah! Let's go.
So she ends it
with everyone except one guy,
probably as emotionally immature
as she is.
But that's her deal.
I mean, I'm sure they're happy,
just not very evolved.
I mean, not everyone can process
their jealousy
and ownership impulses,
but hey, that is me.
Right,
so like a polyamory kinda deal?
Wow, I barely have time for amory.
Ethical non-monogamy, yeah.
Mm, right, right.
And how many partners do you have
at the moment?
Right now?
Mm-hm.
None right now. I'm resetting.
I've been busy.
I'm an entrepreneur...
Yep. You already said that.
I was in IT...
Apps.
..doing the apps.
Yep.
Did I say that?
Yeah. Amazing, yeah.
Hey.
Mm?
I don't have a lot of time.
Same.
So...
So...
Where do you wanna...
Where should we...
It's 8:30 in the morning.
Well, you said 8:00,
and I'm fine with that.
Yeah, for breakfast.
You were quite explicit
in your texts.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
You're the wrong one.
Must be.
Ah!
It's OK, I've gotta get to work,
anyway, so...
It was...
..very nice to meet you, Greg.
That was 10.50.
You're 50 cents short.
OK.
Sorry.
That's alright.
50 cents.
You want 50 cents. OK.
You know it's really unattractive,
just for future reference.
We're not even...
Having sex?
No...
No, 'cause you're not getting any
and you're not going to
by monologuing for half an hour
and ordering like a child.
I can't drink hot beverages!
Well, that's a lot of dairy...
Heaps.
♪ In the morning I'm slow
♪ I drag a chair
Over to the window
♪ And I watch what's going on
♪ The garbage truck tiptoes
Along the road
♪ Light a candle for the sufferin'
♪ Send my best wishes
With the wind... ♪
Oh, shit! I'm gonna miss the bus.
I've gotta go.
I've gotta go.
Uh-uh.
I really have to go.
No, no, no, not yet. Not yet.
Yeah?
♪ I might change my sheets today... ♪
Hey! Stop! Hey!
Fuck!
♪ And money is no man's friend... ♪
Congratulations. 40 years!
Oh, thank you.
I've only been married for three.
Hope we get there.
OK, so something really special
to mark the occasion.
Yeah, so my wife has specific needs,
she's quite immobile.
Great.
Great, we can do that.
I mean,
she's really not terribly well.
I'm hoping
a trip might cheer her up.
Perfect.
Oh, yes.
King Island.
Ah.
Senior Love Romantica.
It's a package
designed for senior lovers,
in the off-peak season.
It's all-inclusive,
five-star luxury,
day trips, spa treatments,
massages, facials,
therapeutics, horizon pool,
music, dancing...
Oh, no, no, she can't dance...
You don't have to,
you can sit at the bar,
listen to the band.
Plus there's a nurse on-site
in case there's...
OK, yeah. So how much?
Including airfares...
..airport transfers, that's...
..20K, total.
Ooh.
No, no, that's very good
for the gold package.
Yeah. Um...
Ah, what other, um...
There's gold, silver or bronze.
How about copper
or tin, perhaps?
No, no, there's just the three.
Oh.
I mean, especially
if you want to spoil your wife.
I mean,
she's obviously had a rough run.
Yeah. Um... Ah...
What's the bronze?
I'll talk you through the silver,
that's 18K.
Bronze, thank you.
Really, I'm happy
to straight to the bronze.
OK.
Well, you lose the French champagne,
the helicopter sightseeing,
water aerobics.
The travel insurance
is also not included,
that's the 15K package.
OK.
Yep.
Yes, yes.
No, that's fine.
Wonderful! You will have
the time of your life.
OK.
On the bronze... package.
♪ I get this strange feeling
In my gut
♪ I love you so much
That I get nervous from all the love
♪ I Hope that doesn't gross you out
Darlin'
♪ It's just these butterflies
♪ Can't take the way
I feel for you. ♪
Alright, nice deep breaths for us.
You're going to feel some pressure
on your throat from Sasha,
that's nothing to worry about.
We're going to take great care
of you, Phillip.
Deep breath. That's it.
And cricoid on, we're asleep...
Probably.
Let's risk it.
Why not?
I'm feeling lucky.
I'm done.
You say that every three months.
This is the last time.
Maybe if you gave someone
a proper go.
He licked the spoon
while talking about being evolved,
and he didn't get any of my jokes.
OK, well clearly not him, then.
I just want one! One grown-up man.
I don't want more random sex.
I'll take it.
It's exhausting. I'm talking to like
seven people at once.
I've gotten sick
of my own small talk.
I've started using your stories
to mix it up.
Mine?
Yeah.
Well, that's not gonna work,
they probably have a lesbian vibe.
Oh, I don't want to date children,
I want to have one.
Well, you can have mine anytime,
not to date.
Don't date my kid.
The whole thing you've got is over.
What, kids and watching TV?
I mean,
they can't all be polyamorous.
Who's got the time?
I don't know,
but apparently
if you're single at this age,
it's just weirdos and hook-ups.
Sarah in Maternity just married
the guy she met online.
Have you met him?
No.
Urgh.
Phillip agrees with me.
The men online are shit.
Are they? Are they all shit?
Or are you just
a little bit quick to judge?
Oh, psht!
Do you remember that guy
that you got rid of
because he asked you
if you went to the gym?
I hate the gym,
so that was never going to work.
Oh, yeah, how dare he ask?
He was probably
just making conversation.
Badly.
Could have been your soul mate.
I think I'm just going to do
the sperm donor thing.
Yeah, sure you can.
But I just think
you're gonna meet someone.
Where?
Mum.
Mummy.
Definitely not here.
I mean, he's a catch.
Loves his mum.
Phillip, are you single?
Excuse me.
I beg your pardon.
You wouldn't have a nice Moselle,
would you?
I'm not sure
if they're still popular, or...
Wait there. I'll check.
OK.
Glen.
Oh.
Glen.
Judith. Hello.
How is she?
Christine? Oh, good, good.
You know, she...
All this, on top of the diabetes.
Mm.
And... how are you?
Um...
Can't be easy.
No, well,
I'm not the one in pain, Judith...
Oh, she's still in pain? Chronic?
You know, Merah Singh's husband
had the stomach cancer.
He took his own life.
Depression...
..from the pain, apparently.
I mean, he was terminal,
but I was thinking of Christine.
Well, she's not terminal, so...
Oh, no, of course not.
But the pain and the trauma
of the accident.
I mean, you're probably
all still traumatised
nearly losing her.
Well, we didn't,
so no, we're fine.
We're fine, thank you.
I mean, maybe you could, you know,
she'd love a visit.
No, we didn't want to intrude.
Yeah. Or perhaps a phone call?
Yes, I must give her a ring.
Yeah.
OK, it was lovely to see you.
I'm sorry,
I have to find the assistant.
OK.
You too.
Bye-bye. Bye, Judith.
And I'll pop a Christine
on the prayers for the needy list.
Oh, thank you. OK.
Bye-bye now.
I did that for Mr Singh
when he suicided
and it gave Merah great comfort.
OK.
Bye now, Judith. Bye-bye!
Where's he gone?
Oh, excuse me!
Found some Moselle.
Oh, dear.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah. No, that one.
Thank you.
Take care of yourself, Glen.
OK, bye-bye now.
Bye, Judith.
How did you miss the bus?
Well, it was going
when I actually got...
No, how did you not? Seriously?
For the one ethical law firm
in the country you...
What? You slept in?
No, I was awake.
Then how did you...
We were...
..you know...
Oh, wow.
And I snoozed the alarm
and I lost track of time...
Wow.
..and I was trying to leave but...
That's fucked.
No, it doesn't matter, OK?
I mean,
I've got an interview with...
What is wrong with you?
..Taylor McKenzie.
Does she now know
how important clerkships are?
No, it's not her fault.
I know that.
We...
What, you just
can't drag yourself away?
No, she's just...
No, I can't, OK.
But when I'm there, it's hectic.
OK, I mean, I fucking...
I fucking love her.
I just...
OK, you know what this is, right?
What?
Chemicals.
Dopamine and oxytocin
flooding the brain...
Ugh!
..which creates this like,
addictive dependence.
OK, please don't brain chemistry me,
OK?
It's called love.
OK.
You're so brutal.
You are.
Or does she not care
that you miss her gigs?
Hey, I've gotta study, OK?
We're not all Uni medallists.
Shut up.
Fine.
I'm probably gonna hook up
with that waitress tonight
anyway, so...
Aww!
I would have ignored you.
Bye.
Enjoy the dopamine!
♪ If you love me
Like I love you.... ♪
You know,
I had to go to three stores.
Maybe people don't use
fresh spices anymore,
too labour intensive.
Oh! Guess who I saw?
Judith.
My God, she's a strange woman.
She was eager to know
just how poorly you were.
She's been very concerned,
apparently.
I don't know, she's had two years
to give you a call.
Anyway, she's making
sure you're included
in the prayers for the needy.
So, very helpful.
Mm.
Mm!
OK, nearly ready.
You hungry?
Christine?
Chris?
Chris?
Mm?
You fell asleep.
Oh. Oh.
The kids'll be here soon.
We better get you dressed, eh?
Mm.
There you go.
Oh.
OK.
Alright.
You ready? Ready?
One, two, three, hup!
You OK? I got you, I got you.
I just...
I think we should talk about
home care.
Come on, don't be silly. I can...
No, because I'm...
I can manage. I can manage.
I'm getting too heavy.
No, you're not.
You're not. You're not.
Which dress do you want?
Oh, I don't know.
What about that one Clara bought you
for Christmas that time?
No, it'll be too tight.
No, it won't.
It's nice and flowy when it's on,
isn't it?
Well, maybe last time I wore it,
but I'm too fat now.
Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous.
Oh, I've been sitting
for nearly two years.
I've lost a lot of muscle tone...
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Come on, you're a beautiful woman.
You're just as beautiful as you were
when I first met you.
Oh, rubbish.
Well, shall we try it on anyway?
OK. Now light or dark?
Lippy.
Dark.
OK, hold still.
No, no, put the dress on first.
No? OK, sorry. But pucker up.
Oh.
Yeah.
Alright, pucker up.
There you go. And top.
Ah...
There.
Look OK?
Look alright?
OK, let's get this off.
Arm up.
And this one. I'll do this one.
Sorry. There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
Alright, let's get it up the back.
Sorry, it's stuck under you. OK.
Ow. Ow!
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry, sweetie.
Are you trying to suffocate me?
Sorry.
For God's sake!
OK, OK, I'm sorry.
I'm stuck. I can't...
Sorry.
Ow!
Sorry. Sorry, darling.
Jesus.
I'm sorry.
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
You're OK. You're OK.
God!
You're OK. You're OK.
Now, let's get this dress
on you, hey?
20 minutes late?
Why didn't you just order a car?
'Cause it was surging.
OK.
Well, they can always reschedule,
I mean, that's pretty unreasonable.
Not unreasonable
to expect him to be on time, Mum.
Normal in a professional setting.
Well, he doesn't need a lecture
from you.
Thanks, love.
Can I have a look?
When's your next interview?
It's a couple of weeks.
You'll land that one.
Mm-hm.
Oh, is that a Rumi quote?
Mm-hmm.
That's beautiful.
Isn't that thoughtful?
Mm.
What's this fork?
The prong's at a 45-degree angle!
How old is this set?
Don't worry,
I'll get you another one.
It's a wedding present.
Oh. Maybe time to get new ones.
It's romantic.
It's cutlery.
There you go.
Less stabby, thank you.
And I've got
a very special wine here.
Oh, no, Dad, mine's the other one.
Ah.
Do you remember this?
Oh.
It's the one we had at our wedding.
Oh, no...
I thought maybe
we could have a little toast.
No, I've had a double dose
of pain meds.
Oh.
Mm.
OK, we'll save it
for another time.
You have it.
No, no, I don't need to.
I'll try it.
Have a glass.
No, sparkling water will do me.
No, no, no, no, water's fine.
I've got an exam tomorrow, so...
Open book, though.
Mm.
That's really refreshing.
It's actually a great little device
you got us.
We should use that more often.
Have the wine.
No, no, no, I'm happy with this.
Well, why are you punishing me?
Pardon?
Well,
you're not the one on medication
so why won't you drink?
Well, I don't need to.
Well, you obviously want it.
Why else would you buy it?
I mean, you can celebrate.
Well, we are celebrating.
Yeah, why don't I start the toast?
If I wasn't here,
if I'd died in the accident,
you'd be able to drink, yeah?
OK.
Mum, do we have to talk about...
Yes, because denial doesn't help.
Doesn't help with the pain,
the incontinence, the UTIs.
Oh, OK, can we just enjoy
this nice meal Dad's made?
It's OK.
It's fine, it's fine.
No.
Drink it.
Thank you, I will.
Drink it!
No, drink it properly!
Jesus, Mum.
Right.
It's good.
It's slatey.
Ella got a new regular gig.
That's good.
Yeah, she actually got
this cool new bar on Rose Street.
Shall we have the main course?
Absolutely.
Hm-mm, not done yet.
Mm, yum, Dad.
I've been eating
way too much cafeteria food.
Yeah, we haven't seen you
for a while.
What've you been up to?
How've you been?
Oh, with work, alright.
Haven't maimed anyone.
Ha!
Dad means
have you been seeing someone?
Is that why you haven't been over?
No, not really.
Well, what did that mean?
It means
I've been on a few bad dates,
that's all.
Oh, no one good enough?
No, it's not that.
Well, they have all been weirdos.
You're so picky.
I'd rather be picky
than have no standards.
Well, it's time to lower them
I think.
I mean, you're hardly perfect
yourself, Clara,
so I don't know
why you expect other people to be.
I know I'm not. I don't expect...
Do you know, you're...
You are too old
to be mucking around like this.
You won't even be able
to have any ki...
If you want kids,
you have to stop all this nonsense
and just find
some reasonable fellow who...
OK, thanks. Reasonable, yep.
Trying to do that.
Well, you know what I mean,
someone decent.
You're not exactly easy yourself,
you know.
Thank you, Mum.
OK, let's just change the subject.
There are other ways
to have a baby these days.
There is no perfect partner.
It's work, it's compromise,
it's disappointment.
Oh! Hear that Dad? Nice.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, darling.
Your generation is so delusional,
thinking you can have babies
whenever you like,
however you like. God!
I mean, ha!
You're like those stupid celebrities
in complete denial about your age.
Like you're in denial
about that dress?
Oh, what?
It's too tight.
It looks ridiculous.
It looks fine.
Can you take me back to bed, please?
Oh, come on!
Chris,
you've hardly touched your food
and we've got a beautiful dessert.
Mum, don't, please.
Yeah, I'm... I'm too tired.
OK.
Wow.
Ready? One...
Dad.
..two, three.
Dad.
Dad, I can help.
No, no. No, no.
Would you let him help you?
I've got you. I've got you.
I've got you.
You're on fire tonight.
Me?
She's the...
Poor Dad!
The thing with the wine
was sociopathic.
She's in pain.
Because she's not doing the rehab
that she's supposed to be doing.
Aaron, I've seen a lot worse,
by the way.
You're such an arsehole.
Oh, fuck off.
Where are you going?
To study.
Great.
Perfect.
Well, this is nice!
Great family dinner.
OK, one, two, three.
I've got you.
OK, you right? OK?
Yeah.
Thanks.
I'll bring you some sticky date?
No.
Clara's right.
I look ridiculous.
Come on,
you can have a little slice.
No.
Doctor says the weight's bad
for my mobility, so...
OK. OK.
You OK?
Yeah.
OK. You comfy?
Thanks, I am.
And water?
Thanks.
OK.
You off?
Oh, I cleared the plates.
You want me to do the dishes?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, you go.
Don't mind Mum,
she's just tired.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, darling.
You drive safe, yeah?
Happy studying...
..for your open book exam.
Oh, get fucked.
Seriously, you need to!
Fuck.
Gastronomic
and artistic treasures.
But now we've come
to the beating heart of the country,
Rome.
How exhausting.
It's a 2,000-year-old
metropolis,
where past and present collide.
It's as unique for...
Want a cup of tea?
Sure.
OK.
As it is, for a food lover.
Today I'm gonna cook you a dish
that is really steep in history.
Hello...
..again.
Excuse me.
Oh. Oh, sorry.
Late dinner?
I'm kidding.
Although I used to have that
for dinner all the time...
..until I saw
that viral gelatine video.
You seen that?
Yeah, don't.
It's seriously off-putting.
But you know, I was an addict,
so it was useful to be put off.
But, I mean,
you seem to have a good relationship
with the snakes.
You...
..you've dropped some.
I just worry that
people put them back in, you know,
when they drop them.
Anyway...
Hey, mate.
Hey, how're you doing?
Good. Yeah, I'll just get these two.
Those two?
Yeah.
There's a two-for-one deal on those.
You want another one?
Oh, ah...
Why not?
Go nuts.
That's what I say.
Yeah, alright.
I'll get another one.
Too easy.
That'll be $5.
Alright, there you go.
Beautiful. Have a good one, man.
Yeah, thanks mate.
Have a good night.
You have a good night.
You too.
$5.
Hm.
..and 20 cents. Snakes.
Hi again.
Hi.
I'm not stalking you. Um...
Chaperoning.
No, I live just there.
I live there.
Hm.
Actually, could you just wait there
till I'm inside?
Just...
Just so I know that you're not...
Ugh. Yeah, sorry.
Keep going. I'm kidding.
OK.
Night!
Yep.
What?
Ah.
The tea will be a bit strong,
sorry.
Are they at the Trevi Fountain?
Chris.
Christy.
Christine?
Christine?
Chris? Chris?
Chris.
Chris.
Christine, wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up.
Chris, wake up.
Aaron, call an ambulance!
♪ Had it with this place... ♪
Christine? Chris.
Christine!
Chris!
♪ Thinking of the times
You had it all figured out
♪ Now everyone is passed out
Blurry on the edge now
♪ Empty as an effigy
waiting to come down
♪ I've had it with this place
We're all going insane
♪ I've had it with this place
We've all gone insane
♪ Damn the work Damn the music
♪ Damn the fun that's missing
♪ Damn the drugs
Damn the friends
♪ Damn the phone that's ringing
♪ Damn the night Damn the party
♪ Damn the song that's spinning
♪ Damn the room Damn the street
♪ Damn the scene listening... ♪
Chris! Chris!
♪ Damn the dog
Damn the planet watching... ♪
Don't leave me, Chris!
♪ Damn the mood Damn the people
♪ Damn the door that's closing
♪ Damn the time Damn the ride
♪ Damn the drive that's missing
♪ Damn the home Damn the dog
♪ Damn the life that's winning. ♪
Greg.
Hi. Oh!
How are ya?
Oh. Oh, nice to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
OK?
Yeah! Let's go.
So she ends it
with everyone except one guy,
probably as emotionally immature
as she is.
But that's her deal.
I mean, I'm sure they're happy,
just not very evolved.
I mean, not everyone can process
their jealousy
and ownership impulses,
but hey, that is me.
Right,
so like a polyamory kinda deal?
Wow, I barely have time for amory.
Ethical non-monogamy, yeah.
Mm, right, right.
And how many partners do you have
at the moment?
Right now?
Mm-hm.
None right now. I'm resetting.
I've been busy.
I'm an entrepreneur...
Yep. You already said that.
I was in IT...
Apps.
..doing the apps.
Yep.
Did I say that?
Yeah. Amazing, yeah.
Hey.
Mm?
I don't have a lot of time.
Same.
So...
So...
Where do you wanna...
Where should we...
It's 8:30 in the morning.
Well, you said 8:00,
and I'm fine with that.
Yeah, for breakfast.
You were quite explicit
in your texts.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck.
You're the wrong one.
Must be.
Ah!
It's OK, I've gotta get to work,
anyway, so...
It was...
..very nice to meet you, Greg.
That was 10.50.
You're 50 cents short.
OK.
Sorry.
That's alright.
50 cents.
You want 50 cents. OK.
You know it's really unattractive,
just for future reference.
We're not even...
Having sex?
No...
No, 'cause you're not getting any
and you're not going to
by monologuing for half an hour
and ordering like a child.
I can't drink hot beverages!
Well, that's a lot of dairy...
Heaps.
♪ In the morning I'm slow
♪ I drag a chair
Over to the window
♪ And I watch what's going on
♪ The garbage truck tiptoes
Along the road
♪ Light a candle for the sufferin'
♪ Send my best wishes
With the wind... ♪
Oh, shit! I'm gonna miss the bus.
I've gotta go.
I've gotta go.
Uh-uh.
I really have to go.
No, no, no, not yet. Not yet.
Yeah?
♪ I might change my sheets today... ♪
Hey! Stop! Hey!
Fuck!
♪ And money is no man's friend... ♪
Congratulations. 40 years!
Oh, thank you.
I've only been married for three.
Hope we get there.
OK, so something really special
to mark the occasion.
Yeah, so my wife has specific needs,
she's quite immobile.
Great.
Great, we can do that.
I mean,
she's really not terribly well.
I'm hoping
a trip might cheer her up.
Perfect.
Oh, yes.
King Island.
Ah.
Senior Love Romantica.
It's a package
designed for senior lovers,
in the off-peak season.
It's all-inclusive,
five-star luxury,
day trips, spa treatments,
massages, facials,
therapeutics, horizon pool,
music, dancing...
Oh, no, no, she can't dance...
You don't have to,
you can sit at the bar,
listen to the band.
Plus there's a nurse on-site
in case there's...
OK, yeah. So how much?
Including airfares...
..airport transfers, that's...
..20K, total.
Ooh.
No, no, that's very good
for the gold package.
Yeah. Um...
Ah, what other, um...
There's gold, silver or bronze.
How about copper
or tin, perhaps?
No, no, there's just the three.
Oh.
I mean, especially
if you want to spoil your wife.
I mean,
she's obviously had a rough run.
Yeah. Um... Ah...
What's the bronze?
I'll talk you through the silver,
that's 18K.
Bronze, thank you.
Really, I'm happy
to straight to the bronze.
OK.
Well, you lose the French champagne,
the helicopter sightseeing,
water aerobics.
The travel insurance
is also not included,
that's the 15K package.
OK.
Yep.
Yes, yes.
No, that's fine.
Wonderful! You will have
the time of your life.
OK.
On the bronze... package.
♪ I get this strange feeling
In my gut
♪ I love you so much
That I get nervous from all the love
♪ I Hope that doesn't gross you out
Darlin'
♪ It's just these butterflies
♪ Can't take the way
I feel for you. ♪
Alright, nice deep breaths for us.
You're going to feel some pressure
on your throat from Sasha,
that's nothing to worry about.
We're going to take great care
of you, Phillip.
Deep breath. That's it.
And cricoid on, we're asleep...
Probably.
Let's risk it.
Why not?
I'm feeling lucky.
I'm done.
You say that every three months.
This is the last time.
Maybe if you gave someone
a proper go.
He licked the spoon
while talking about being evolved,
and he didn't get any of my jokes.
OK, well clearly not him, then.
I just want one! One grown-up man.
I don't want more random sex.
I'll take it.
It's exhausting. I'm talking to like
seven people at once.
I've gotten sick
of my own small talk.
I've started using your stories
to mix it up.
Mine?
Yeah.
Well, that's not gonna work,
they probably have a lesbian vibe.
Oh, I don't want to date children,
I want to have one.
Well, you can have mine anytime,
not to date.
Don't date my kid.
The whole thing you've got is over.
What, kids and watching TV?
I mean,
they can't all be polyamorous.
Who's got the time?
I don't know,
but apparently
if you're single at this age,
it's just weirdos and hook-ups.
Sarah in Maternity just married
the guy she met online.
Have you met him?
No.
Urgh.
Phillip agrees with me.
The men online are shit.
Are they? Are they all shit?
Or are you just
a little bit quick to judge?
Oh, psht!
Do you remember that guy
that you got rid of
because he asked you
if you went to the gym?
I hate the gym,
so that was never going to work.
Oh, yeah, how dare he ask?
He was probably
just making conversation.
Badly.
Could have been your soul mate.
I think I'm just going to do
the sperm donor thing.
Yeah, sure you can.
But I just think
you're gonna meet someone.
Where?
Mum.
Mummy.
Definitely not here.
I mean, he's a catch.
Loves his mum.
Phillip, are you single?
Excuse me.
I beg your pardon.
You wouldn't have a nice Moselle,
would you?
I'm not sure
if they're still popular, or...
Wait there. I'll check.
OK.
Glen.
Oh.
Glen.
Judith. Hello.
How is she?
Christine? Oh, good, good.
You know, she...
All this, on top of the diabetes.
Mm.
And... how are you?
Um...
Can't be easy.
No, well,
I'm not the one in pain, Judith...
Oh, she's still in pain? Chronic?
You know, Merah Singh's husband
had the stomach cancer.
He took his own life.
Depression...
..from the pain, apparently.
I mean, he was terminal,
but I was thinking of Christine.
Well, she's not terminal, so...
Oh, no, of course not.
But the pain and the trauma
of the accident.
I mean, you're probably
all still traumatised
nearly losing her.
Well, we didn't,
so no, we're fine.
We're fine, thank you.
I mean, maybe you could, you know,
she'd love a visit.
No, we didn't want to intrude.
Yeah. Or perhaps a phone call?
Yes, I must give her a ring.
Yeah.
OK, it was lovely to see you.
I'm sorry,
I have to find the assistant.
OK.
You too.
Bye-bye. Bye, Judith.
And I'll pop a Christine
on the prayers for the needy list.
Oh, thank you. OK.
Bye-bye now.
I did that for Mr Singh
when he suicided
and it gave Merah great comfort.
OK.
Bye now, Judith. Bye-bye!
Where's he gone?
Oh, excuse me!
Found some Moselle.
Oh, dear.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Yeah. No, that one.
Thank you.
Take care of yourself, Glen.
OK, bye-bye now.
Bye, Judith.
How did you miss the bus?
Well, it was going
when I actually got...
No, how did you not? Seriously?
For the one ethical law firm
in the country you...
What? You slept in?
No, I was awake.
Then how did you...
We were...
..you know...
Oh, wow.
And I snoozed the alarm
and I lost track of time...
Wow.
..and I was trying to leave but...
That's fucked.
No, it doesn't matter, OK?
I mean,
I've got an interview with...
What is wrong with you?
..Taylor McKenzie.
Does she now know
how important clerkships are?
No, it's not her fault.
I know that.
We...
What, you just
can't drag yourself away?
No, she's just...
No, I can't, OK.
But when I'm there, it's hectic.
OK, I mean, I fucking...
I fucking love her.
I just...
OK, you know what this is, right?
What?
Chemicals.
Dopamine and oxytocin
flooding the brain...
Ugh!
..which creates this like,
addictive dependence.
OK, please don't brain chemistry me,
OK?
It's called love.
OK.
You're so brutal.
You are.
Or does she not care
that you miss her gigs?
Hey, I've gotta study, OK?
We're not all Uni medallists.
Shut up.
Fine.
I'm probably gonna hook up
with that waitress tonight
anyway, so...
Aww!
I would have ignored you.
Bye.
Enjoy the dopamine!
♪ If you love me
Like I love you.... ♪
You know,
I had to go to three stores.
Maybe people don't use
fresh spices anymore,
too labour intensive.
Oh! Guess who I saw?
Judith.
My God, she's a strange woman.
She was eager to know
just how poorly you were.
She's been very concerned,
apparently.
I don't know, she's had two years
to give you a call.
Anyway, she's making
sure you're included
in the prayers for the needy.
So, very helpful.
Mm.
Mm!
OK, nearly ready.
You hungry?
Christine?
Chris?
Chris?
Mm?
You fell asleep.
Oh. Oh.
The kids'll be here soon.
We better get you dressed, eh?
Mm.
There you go.
Oh.
OK.
Alright.
You ready? Ready?
One, two, three, hup!
You OK? I got you, I got you.
I just...
I think we should talk about
home care.
Come on, don't be silly. I can...
No, because I'm...
I can manage. I can manage.
I'm getting too heavy.
No, you're not.
You're not. You're not.
Which dress do you want?
Oh, I don't know.
What about that one Clara bought you
for Christmas that time?
No, it'll be too tight.
No, it won't.
It's nice and flowy when it's on,
isn't it?
Well, maybe last time I wore it,
but I'm too fat now.
Oh, come on, don't be ridiculous.
Oh, I've been sitting
for nearly two years.
I've lost a lot of muscle tone...
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Come on, you're a beautiful woman.
You're just as beautiful as you were
when I first met you.
Oh, rubbish.
Well, shall we try it on anyway?
OK. Now light or dark?
Lippy.
Dark.
OK, hold still.
No, no, put the dress on first.
No? OK, sorry. But pucker up.
Oh.
Yeah.
Alright, pucker up.
There you go. And top.
Ah...
There.
Look OK?
Look alright?
OK, let's get this off.
Arm up.
And this one. I'll do this one.
Sorry. There you go.
There you go.
Yeah.
Alright, let's get it up the back.
Sorry, it's stuck under you. OK.
Ow. Ow!
Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry, sweetie.
Are you trying to suffocate me?
Sorry.
For God's sake!
OK, OK, I'm sorry.
I'm stuck. I can't...
Sorry.
Ow!
Sorry. Sorry, darling.
Jesus.
I'm sorry.
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
You're OK. You're OK.
God!
You're OK. You're OK.
Now, let's get this dress
on you, hey?
20 minutes late?
Why didn't you just order a car?
'Cause it was surging.
OK.
Well, they can always reschedule,
I mean, that's pretty unreasonable.
Not unreasonable
to expect him to be on time, Mum.
Normal in a professional setting.
Well, he doesn't need a lecture
from you.
Thanks, love.
Can I have a look?
When's your next interview?
It's a couple of weeks.
You'll land that one.
Mm-hm.
Oh, is that a Rumi quote?
Mm-hmm.
That's beautiful.
Isn't that thoughtful?
Mm.
What's this fork?
The prong's at a 45-degree angle!
How old is this set?
Don't worry,
I'll get you another one.
It's a wedding present.
Oh. Maybe time to get new ones.
It's romantic.
It's cutlery.
There you go.
Less stabby, thank you.
And I've got
a very special wine here.
Oh, no, Dad, mine's the other one.
Ah.
Do you remember this?
Oh.
It's the one we had at our wedding.
Oh, no...
I thought maybe
we could have a little toast.
No, I've had a double dose
of pain meds.
Oh.
Mm.
OK, we'll save it
for another time.
You have it.
No, no, I don't need to.
I'll try it.
Have a glass.
No, sparkling water will do me.
No, no, no, no, water's fine.
I've got an exam tomorrow, so...
Open book, though.
Mm.
That's really refreshing.
It's actually a great little device
you got us.
We should use that more often.
Have the wine.
No, no, no, I'm happy with this.
Well, why are you punishing me?
Pardon?
Well,
you're not the one on medication
so why won't you drink?
Well, I don't need to.
Well, you obviously want it.
Why else would you buy it?
I mean, you can celebrate.
Well, we are celebrating.
Yeah, why don't I start the toast?
If I wasn't here,
if I'd died in the accident,
you'd be able to drink, yeah?
OK.
Mum, do we have to talk about...
Yes, because denial doesn't help.
Doesn't help with the pain,
the incontinence, the UTIs.
Oh, OK, can we just enjoy
this nice meal Dad's made?
It's OK.
It's fine, it's fine.
No.
Drink it.
Thank you, I will.
Drink it!
No, drink it properly!
Jesus, Mum.
Right.
It's good.
It's slatey.
Ella got a new regular gig.
That's good.
Yeah, she actually got
this cool new bar on Rose Street.
Shall we have the main course?
Absolutely.
Hm-mm, not done yet.
Mm, yum, Dad.
I've been eating
way too much cafeteria food.
Yeah, we haven't seen you
for a while.
What've you been up to?
How've you been?
Oh, with work, alright.
Haven't maimed anyone.
Ha!
Dad means
have you been seeing someone?
Is that why you haven't been over?
No, not really.
Well, what did that mean?
It means
I've been on a few bad dates,
that's all.
Oh, no one good enough?
No, it's not that.
Well, they have all been weirdos.
You're so picky.
I'd rather be picky
than have no standards.
Well, it's time to lower them
I think.
I mean, you're hardly perfect
yourself, Clara,
so I don't know
why you expect other people to be.
I know I'm not. I don't expect...
Do you know, you're...
You are too old
to be mucking around like this.
You won't even be able
to have any ki...
If you want kids,
you have to stop all this nonsense
and just find
some reasonable fellow who...
OK, thanks. Reasonable, yep.
Trying to do that.
Well, you know what I mean,
someone decent.
You're not exactly easy yourself,
you know.
Thank you, Mum.
OK, let's just change the subject.
There are other ways
to have a baby these days.
There is no perfect partner.
It's work, it's compromise,
it's disappointment.
Oh! Hear that Dad? Nice.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, darling.
Your generation is so delusional,
thinking you can have babies
whenever you like,
however you like. God!
I mean, ha!
You're like those stupid celebrities
in complete denial about your age.
Like you're in denial
about that dress?
Oh, what?
It's too tight.
It looks ridiculous.
It looks fine.
Can you take me back to bed, please?
Oh, come on!
Chris,
you've hardly touched your food
and we've got a beautiful dessert.
Mum, don't, please.
Yeah, I'm... I'm too tired.
OK.
Wow.
Ready? One...
Dad.
..two, three.
Dad.
Dad, I can help.
No, no. No, no.
Would you let him help you?
I've got you. I've got you.
I've got you.
You're on fire tonight.
Me?
She's the...
Poor Dad!
The thing with the wine
was sociopathic.
She's in pain.
Because she's not doing the rehab
that she's supposed to be doing.
Aaron, I've seen a lot worse,
by the way.
You're such an arsehole.
Oh, fuck off.
Where are you going?
To study.
Great.
Perfect.
Well, this is nice!
Great family dinner.
OK, one, two, three.
I've got you.
OK, you right? OK?
Yeah.
Thanks.
I'll bring you some sticky date?
No.
Clara's right.
I look ridiculous.
Come on,
you can have a little slice.
No.
Doctor says the weight's bad
for my mobility, so...
OK. OK.
You OK?
Yeah.
OK. You comfy?
Thanks, I am.
And water?
Thanks.
OK.
You off?
Oh, I cleared the plates.
You want me to do the dishes?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, you go.
Don't mind Mum,
she's just tired.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you, darling.
You drive safe, yeah?
Happy studying...
..for your open book exam.
Oh, get fucked.
Seriously, you need to!
Fuck.
Gastronomic
and artistic treasures.
But now we've come
to the beating heart of the country,
Rome.
How exhausting.
It's a 2,000-year-old
metropolis,
where past and present collide.
It's as unique for...
Want a cup of tea?
Sure.
OK.
As it is, for a food lover.
Today I'm gonna cook you a dish
that is really steep in history.
Hello...
..again.
Excuse me.
Oh. Oh, sorry.
Late dinner?
I'm kidding.
Although I used to have that
for dinner all the time...
..until I saw
that viral gelatine video.
You seen that?
Yeah, don't.
It's seriously off-putting.
But you know, I was an addict,
so it was useful to be put off.
But, I mean,
you seem to have a good relationship
with the snakes.
You...
..you've dropped some.
I just worry that
people put them back in, you know,
when they drop them.
Anyway...
Hey, mate.
Hey, how're you doing?
Good. Yeah, I'll just get these two.
Those two?
Yeah.
There's a two-for-one deal on those.
You want another one?
Oh, ah...
Why not?
Go nuts.
That's what I say.
Yeah, alright.
I'll get another one.
Too easy.
That'll be $5.
Alright, there you go.
Beautiful. Have a good one, man.
Yeah, thanks mate.
Have a good night.
You have a good night.
You too.
$5.
Hm.
..and 20 cents. Snakes.
Hi again.
Hi.
I'm not stalking you. Um...
Chaperoning.
No, I live just there.
I live there.
Hm.
Actually, could you just wait there
till I'm inside?
Just...
Just so I know that you're not...
Ugh. Yeah, sorry.
Keep going. I'm kidding.
OK.
Night!
Yep.
What?
Ah.
The tea will be a bit strong,
sorry.
Are they at the Trevi Fountain?
Chris.
Christy.
Christine?
Christine?
Chris? Chris?
Chris.
Chris.
Christine, wake up, wake up,
wake up, wake up.
Chris, wake up.
Aaron, call an ambulance!
♪ Had it with this place... ♪
Christine? Chris.
Christine!
Chris!
♪ Thinking of the times
You had it all figured out
♪ Now everyone is passed out
Blurry on the edge now
♪ Empty as an effigy
waiting to come down
♪ I've had it with this place
We're all going insane
♪ I've had it with this place
We've all gone insane
♪ Damn the work Damn the music
♪ Damn the fun that's missing
♪ Damn the drugs
Damn the friends
♪ Damn the phone that's ringing
♪ Damn the night Damn the party
♪ Damn the song that's spinning
♪ Damn the room Damn the street
♪ Damn the scene listening... ♪
Chris! Chris!
♪ Damn the dog
Damn the planet watching... ♪
Don't leave me, Chris!
♪ Damn the mood Damn the people
♪ Damn the door that's closing
♪ Damn the time Damn the ride
♪ Damn the drive that's missing
♪ Damn the home Damn the dog
♪ Damn the life that's winning. ♪