Love Life (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Episode #2.10 - full transcript
♪ ♪
I used to think
that I excited him,
that I completed him.
But he was lost.
So was his manhood.
♪ ♪
♪ Look at this, Melvin ♪
♪ Look at this little-ass boy ♪
♪ Snatching up a Black queen ♪
♪ Then treating her
like a toy ♪
♪ He's got a meal
but acting like she's a snack ♪
♪ She calls him out,
and he deflects ♪
♪ Imagine that ♪
♪ ♪
♪ He's not a king,
he's a little-ass boy ♪
♪ Can't tell the truth,
can't experience any joy ♪
♪ Women, if you meet him,
you better run ♪
♪ He'll waste your time ♪
♪ And he won't even
be able to come ♪
Hey, babe,
you wanna know what the key
to really great celery is?
What is it?
It's gotta be hard and stiff.
And it just can't wilt
under pressure.
Okay, you know what? I--
Why did we even come to this?
Why would she invite me?
Isn't that obvious, babe?
It's just to embarrass you.
You want me to spell it out?
♪ You ain't a king,
you a little-ass boy ♪
♪ With a tiny little pee-pee
and a little-ass-♪
Marcus.
Hey.
Hey.
Thanks so much for coming.
Yeah, no, thanks so much
for inviting me.
Oh, and congrats on your
"New York" mag write-up.
You must be thrilled.
I am, I am. Take that, Lin.
Ho-ho, got him!
This is my boyfriend, Ben.
Nice to meet you.
This is my girlfriend, Mia.
Hi.
Hey, I loved your play.
It was very illuminating.
Illuminating of what?
Oh.
Well, Mia was just saying
that she appreciated
how you could take
our relationship
and turn it into art.
Okay, wait.
Marcus, you didn't think
that was about you, right?
'Cause I wrote that
during the pandemic.
It was purely a product
of my imagination.
She did.
And it was. I was there.
We should make the rounds.
Yeah.
My friend from A24 is here.
He's excited to meet you.
Well, Yahtzee.
Okay.
Nice seeing you, Marcus.
Yeah.
And good luck, Mia.
What?
Good luck.
Just a little luck.
Oh.
Come on, babe.
Oop!
Good luck to you too, bitch.
Yo, wow.
What?
That was crazy.
That was crazy.
♪ Little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
♪ And my little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
♪ And he can't even come,
he can't even come ♪
♪ He got a little weenie
and he can't even come ♪
Here, I'm sorry.
That was the last one,
I promise.
You got reamed, huh?
Yeah, I got worked.
I mean, you do realize
that you broke us up, right?
What?
Remember that time
we ran into each other
when I was moving a car
to the other side
of the street?
Oh, listen, baby.
I can't help it
that you just be, like,
breaking up with people
whenever I walk by.
Oh, well,
maybe I should write
a little shitty play about it,
see if I can't figure that out.
Don't be mad
'cause Ola's profiting
off of her bitterness.
Oh, off-off-Broadway
turns a profit?
Ouch. Wow.
You are spicy tonight.
This is crazy.
I know, I know,
I'm bitter, I'm bitter.
'Cause I ain't got no job.
I'm out here freelance editing
these shitty manuscripts.
And I cannot tell folks
that they are shitty
and that I wrote
better stuff in high school
because I need to earn.
Why don't you just
write something?
Why don't you write a book?
Yeah, pissed-off Black man
writes stinging takedown
of the racist white
publishing industry.
Yeah.
I don't know, I mean, yeah,
there's something there.
Yeah, but you're into it.
I can tell.
You're, like,
thinking about it...
Babe, babe--
Calculating.
Baby, I appreciate
your enthusiasm,
but I need an income.
We're talking about saving up
for a bigger place,
having a kid,
you're still helping your mom.
Look, as far as the money,
I can hold us down for a bit.
You don't have
to worry about it.
The big question is,
what do you have to say?
All right.
I mean, I do have a lot to say.
I know, you got
a lot of little-ass thoughts?
I'm kidding. I had to.
It's like you set me up.
But then what the fuck
are we talking about?
Then say it. Write it.
I love you so much.
I love you too.
Hey, yo, marry me.
What?
Marry me.
Come on, you know you wanna.
"Come on, you know
you wanna marry me?"
What?
What are you saying?
I think I said it.
Where's my ring?
Hmm?
Well, you didn't get down
on no knee or nothing.
You know what?
We can--we can buy one.
Not an expensive one,
but a nice one.
Mm-hmm.
And I do want to build
a life with you.
I want, you know,
a house and a kid.
I want all that stuff
with you, so...
What do you think?
I think that's cool.
I think I want it too.
You do?
I do.
♪ ♪
Marcus?
Marcus.
Oh, shit. Okay.
Baby.
Hey, hey, here you are.
Hi, okay, can you get
some hot sauce too, please?
Mia. Mia, that food
is hot enough as it is.
I don't wanna hurt the baby.
I am so fucking sick
of being pregnant.
I gotta get this baby outta me.
Kind of gonna miss it.
Yeah.
That's because the longer
I'm pregnant,
the longer you get to take
to finish that book.
I'm almost done.
You hear that, peanut?
Daddy's gonna be an author.
Ow, shit!
What? Contraction?
I don't know--I-I hope so.
Okay.
Oh, my God, I am not ready
to have this baby.
Okay, easy, it's okay.
It's okay, we got this.
I think it only
gets worse from here.
In the span
of the next 26 hours,
Marcus and Mia became
Marcus, Mia, baby Audre,
and a half-finished
manuscript.
I would hope so.
This face.
Ooh, she's the cutest.
Yeah, it is so nice
seeing her from this angle
in somebody else's arms.
She's a lot.
I'ma post this
with no comment,
see all the fucked-up shit
people gotta say.
You gotta cover her face
if you doing that.
Uh-huh.
I guess we're just
a couple of breeders now, huh?
Yeah.
I've been a breeder, man.
I'm trying to put as many
Black folks
on the planet
as I possibly can.
I mean, to be honest, man,
I--
I didn't think
we'd get pregnant this quick.
I thought we had
6 to 12 months at least.
Yeah. You all right?
You're not getting any sleep,
and I can tell.
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm not, but I'm fine.
You know,
we're getting some help.
Mm, like a Roomba?
No, man.
We're not getting a Roomba.
We're getting a nanny.
Oh, shit. That's fancy.
Yeah.
Bro, you sure y'all can,
you know--
y'all can afford that?
Yes, yeah.
We can afford it.
All right, come on, man.
Don't look at me like that.
It's just--I'll be pulling
my weight in no time.
This is just until
I finish the book.
All right. You know what?
Yeah, man, I respect it, bro.
Black man breaking them
generational curses,
hiring help.
We don't never get help.
We need our help, man.
Get your help, but make sure
she not fine as hell.
You don't want no fine--
You know what?
The nanny's gonna be
whoever takes $20 an hour.
$20 an hour?
Yeah.
She is me.
First of all, look,
y'all getting bank like that?
Listen, Jaleesa,
bring my client to me, please.
I will burp everybody
in this house for $20 an hour.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, babe, are we sure
about this nanny thing?
We fucking better be.
I'm going back to work
tomorrow.
Well, I-I don't know,
I was just thinking, like,
I could watch the baby.
And I could just write
during her nap.
Wait, what?
What?
Did you not learn anything
the past two months?
Are you insane?
Okay,
but I just think that, like,
it's really expensive,
and I've been worried
about bonding time.
Baby, we have nothing
to feel guilty about.
Right, you and me, right here?
We are in
the fucking trenches together.
Besides, white people have been
using nannies for centuries.
They don't feel no guilt.
I once saw this episode
of "Downton Abbey"
where Lady Mary straight up
had a newborn son.
She patted him on his head,
left the room,
and didn't see his white ass
for, like, three full seasons.
Okay, but--so we're
slightly better parents
than a duchess
from, like, the 1920s?
No, baby,
she's not a duchess.
Okay, well,
I don't know her rank.
I didn't watch "Downton Abbey."
Okay, well, I told you
to watch it with me.
It's a classist show.
Okay, well, whatever.
I have a hard time with that.
Everything's--
okay, you know what?
I know this is hard.
Okay, I don't wanna leave
Audre either.
But we--you know,
we worked really hard
to create that budget
for six months
so you could work on your book.
And if you don't finish it,
I will fucking cut you.
All right, my love?
All right, all right.
All right.
Please turn
the fucking light off.
All right.
Good night.
Oh, there we go.
There's my princess.
Yeah, my little queen.
Here we go.
Wow.
Terry, you're like a one-woman
Indy 500 pit crew over there.
I see why your rates
are so premium.
My rates are normal.
Yeah. No, no, I...
Didn't mean it like that.
Um, all right, well, I'll be
at my desk if you need me.
I won't.
Okay.
♪ ♪
narrator:
Back in kindergarten,
Marcus had won a class prize
for a picture book
he'd written
entitled "Big Dog Digs."
But subsequently,
a fear of failure had managed
to convince him out of
the dream of being a writer,
a dream he had put
on the shelf
like it was just
some paperback.
Oh, oh, I was gonna do those.
It's no problem.
Now Marcus had been
working on his tale
of the dark, oppressive world
of publishing
for just shy of a year.
And by the time he finished,
whether it was good or bad
was no longer for him to say.
But whatever it was,
it was something.
Audre!
Shh.
Daddy finished his book.
And thanks for reading this
so fast, man.
I gotta say, I really
appreciate you taking the time.
Oh, no problem, man.
It was my pleasure.
Yeah.
So, um, yeah, you know,
I know it's not perfect.
But I, you know--
I gotta say I'm feeling good.
And you should feel good.
You got it done
with a new baby, that's crazy.
Yeah. Thanks, man.
It's a solid first draft.
Okay. Okay.
Uh, what do you got?
I love the premise. I get it.
Black guy goes crazy
in a white work space.
Very Kanye at the TMZ office.
Uh, it's a lot of good stuff
in there, bro.
It's just,
I don't feel you in it.
There's not enough you in this.
Okay.
I mean, we can get it there.
I know you can get it there.
But what I will say is,
you have
a really nice manuscript
that could be
a really good book
if you stop fucking playing.
Oh, wow, wow. Okay.
Come on, that was my best
Marcus Watkins impression.
You nailed it. You nailed it.
But I will say
it does feel good
to be on this side
of the table for once.
Yeah, I bet.
Yeah, it feels great.
And I also--
I'm paying for this.
There was a reason
Marcus had been an editor
and not a writer.
This moment felt
as if every note he had given
had come back to haunt him.
And as the sea of red ink
bled into Marcus' eyes,
he decided to close them
and worry
about what to do later.
Okay, Mia, see you tomorrow.
I'll see you later.
Marcus
Hey, y'all wearing coats?
What?
Hmm?
narrator:
Worrying about it later
turned into ignoring it
for several weeks.
Can I sh--
I am shitting, Mia.
I am shitting.
Whoa, hang on.
Mia, what the--
I'm sorry, but Terry's sick.
I need you to take
the baby today.
Okay, is there any way
you can work from home today?
I need to get
some writing done.
Baby, are you serious?
It is not gonna magically
come together today,
especially while you're
dropping bombs in the toilet.
I have to go to work,
or we'll be fucked.
I love you.
Love you too.
Jesus, why did I look
in the mirror?
As Marcus
pushed his child
through the American Museum
of Natural History
on a Friday afternoon,
he couldn't help but feel
a little sorry for himself.
And he wore zebra pants.
He was a failure,
both professionally
and personally,
a little-ass boy after all.
♪ ♪
Marcus? Hi.
Darby, yo, hey! What's up?
Hi, how are you?
Oh, I saw this sweet
single dad,
and then it's you.
Oh, this is Theo.
Hey, Theo.
This is Marcus.
Hey.
Oh, this must be Audre.
Yeah.
Oh, it's nice to see her
without an emoji over her face.
Yeah, yeah.
Mia's pretty protective.
No, I've been meaning
to text her, actually,
but I figured saying,
"Hi, show me your baby's face,"
that would be aggressive.
Yeah, yeah. A little bit.
How are you guys?
Uh, you know, good, good.
Mostly.
Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah. How's...Grant?
Grant, yes. Good. Same.
You know, it's--
every day's an adventure.
Oh, okay.
So once you become a parent,
it never goes back to normal.
No, no, God,
that would be nice, but no.
Hang in there.
It's--it is all worth it.
All right.
Hi, baby.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, hey.
Oh, sorry.
♪ ♪
What's all this?
I just wanted to show
my appreciation.
You know, how lucky I am.
I've been having
a really hard time
ever since Trey read the book.
He really got in my head.
Like, what the fuck
am I even doing?
You're writing a book.
That's what you're doing.
Well, I mean,
his big note was
that I'm not in the book,
and he's right.
I'm not.
I don't want that guy in there.
I wrote a character
that I wanted to be, you know?
And it--
it just didn't ring true.
'Cause I'm hiding.
I'm always hiding.
I was hiding in editing, but...
maybe that's all
I'm cut out for.
No. Fuck that.
You hated editing.
Baby, how are you
gonna fix this book?
I don't know.
I guess I could do
that real scary shit
and write a guy like me.
Complicated softy
prone to juvenile fuckups.
You ain't that complicated.
Look, baby, I know
that this is really hard.
I do.
But you gotta keep pushing.
Okay, I will.
And he did.
In three months,
the book was finished.
And a year after that,
it was published.
Thanks, man.
♪ ♪
Hello! I'm home.
Baby, hi.
Hey, baby.
Mwah. Mm!
How was your flight?
It was good.
It was good?
Yeah. Where's Audre?
Terry just got her
into the bath.
Oh, I'm gonna go say hi.
Okay, wait.
But don't rile her up.
And do not give her
any of those airplane cookies.
Okay?
She lost her mind last time.
Oh, I would never.
Mm-hmm.
And why aren't you dressed?
We gotta get going pretty soon.
Because I've been
a single parent for ten days?
Right, right,
I'm just nervous
because the "Times" reporter
is gonna be there.
I mean, do you not wanna go?
'Cause, I mean,
you don't have to.
No, I want to go.
Okay.
Thanks, babe.
We're gonna have a great time.
My baby!
Honestly, he wouldn't even be
a writer if it wasn't for me.
Eh...damn,
that's kind of true, actually.
Trey was very helpful.
Ah, you heard it.
Make sure that makes
the profile.
Trey Lang made Marcus Watkins.
Whoa, sound bite.
As did my wife,
who worked her ass off
and allowed me to be
a very unemployed writer
for two years.
Thank you.
Yeah, we had a daughter.
Really sweet.
We--
How did your friendship
change now that you're peers?
Well, first off,
Marcus talks way more shit now.
I love you two.
Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna re-up on some eggnog.
You guys want anything?
Oh, no, I'm good.
Okay.
I'll take a scotch and soda.
Okay.
♪ Merry Christmas, I don't
want to fight tonight with ♪
♪ Merry Christmas,
I don't want to ♪
Yeah. Yeah, the book
is really personal.
This next one,
it's a bit of a tonal shift.
So it's been sort of a battle.
♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
Can you excuse me
for just one second?
Of course. Of course.
♪ ♪
♪ Bought me a diamond ring
for Christmas ♪
♪ I feel like I'm
in paradise ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I feel mighty fine, y'all ♪
Hey.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
I just needed a minute.
Look, I...appreciate you.
Really?
Yes. Yes.
I know you're tired
and I dragged you out
to this party,
and I shouldn't have, and...
Babe, it's just been a long
ten days with you gone,
and now you're back
and you're diving
right back into this shit.
I know. I'm sorry.
And I...
I guess this is--
this is all really new to me.
And I guess I'm just scared
that if I don't say yes
to everything, that...
It'll all just go away.
Listen, baby,
you're doing really well.
You just gotta trust it.
You know what?
What?
Let's get
the fuck outta here.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, how late can Terry stay?
How much are you willing
to pay?
So wait, wait, wait, wait,
she bought the purse--
the purse--
a first class ticket?
Yes, babe, 'cause she said
it was cheaper
to buy an unaccompanied
minor ticket than to ship it.
And then somewhere
in between Dubai and New York,
that shit went missing.
No, it didn't go missing.
It went home
with a flight attendant.
I know!
So now it's, like,
an Interpol situation,
and it's, like,
detectives and shit.
It's crazy.
And honestly,
my job is so stupid.
It's stupid.
And I think I wanna quit. I do.
Yeah, fuck it.
Quit then.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, we're doing okay.
I think I got us for a while.
And nothing's worth
that kind of stress.
I think you should quit
that motherfucker.
All right.
I'm gonna quit my job.
Yeah?
I'm gonna quit
my fucking job.
Let's quit your fucking job.
Let's celebrate.
Let's do some fucking shots.
Let's do some fucking shots.
Yeah.
Let's do some shots.
Some fucking shots.
Damn, okay, all right.
Excuse me, can we get
two shots of vodka, please?
It's Buffalo Bill.
I think she's a vodka person.
Oh, no.
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
Oh, okay.
♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
We got a babysitter.
So we gonna get lit up!
Whoo!
♪ You should feel
the impact, shop on plastic ♪
Let's do another one.
Do another one.
Do another one.
You!
♪ Watch me as I gas
that 4 dot 6 Range ♪
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L in the back
of the Benz-E ♪
♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
♪ Hey, must be the money ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and take a ride with me ♪
♪ We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
♪ Oh,
why do I live this way? ♪
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
Oh, my--can you please
pull over, please?
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
As Marcus wiped
regurgitated eggnog
off the side of the Uber,
he was warmed
by a feeling of being needed.
For he now knew
that being a man
meant stepping up
to the plate not once,
but in perpetuity.
And even just having a plate
to step up to
made him as lucky
as a person can get.
We're going to go see
Grandma and Grandpa.
Hey, baby.
Why you bringing
this many coats?
It's Michigan. It's not Russia.
You know your parents keep it
to 56 degrees in that house.
So layers, babes.
Oh, come on,
they turn the heat on.
Do they?
Yeah.
Mm-kay. They don't.
Who is that?
Oh, I don't know.
Hey.
Donna?
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, look, Audre,
it's Grandma.
Oh, come here, my precious.
I could eat you with a spoon.
What are you doing here?
Oh, there's been
a slight change of plans.
Mom's gonna watch Audre
for five days
while we go to the Bahamas.
Wait, what?
Yeah, yeah.
So you might want to get rid
of some of those coats.
I'm gonna go get a snack.
Let's go get a snack.
Shall we, baby?
Yes. Let's go get--
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Look, babe, we can't go
to the Bahamas right now.
I'm, like, not ready.
I'm, like, not even
waxed appropriately.
I'll wax you.
You didn't book
a Sandals, right?
Oh, no, no, no.
Okay.
It is not a Sandals.
Good job, baby.
It's gonna be perfect.
I promise.
You trust me?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yes.
All right.
Audre, you might get
a little brother for Christmas.
Yeah. What? No. No, no.
Oh, no.
Mom.
Uh-uh.
Whoa.
Would you like
some champagne?
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Champagne for you?
Mm.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Holy shit, babe.
They got a massager on here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's good shit.
I'm ruined.
What?
I love you so much.
Oh, baby, I love you too.
I'm serious.
Like...growing up,
I never had a good model
of what a relationship was,
you know,
and I didn't know
how much work it takes.
And my parents didn't do
any of that work,
and I just feel so lucky
that I get to figure it out
with you.
Thank you for sticking with me.
Oh.
Well, thank you
for putting up with me.
Yeah. Yeah.
You are definitely worth
the trouble.
What?
Yeah.
Excuse you.
Yeah, no.
"The trouble"?
Yeah, you are trouble.
Whatever. Whatever.
Hey, I got a question.
Back when we first met,
do you remember
getting, like, this hangover
care package thing?
No. No.
Okay.
Well, I showed up
at your apartment,
and I-I brought Gatorade,
fucking Pedialyte,
Smart Water, chips, soup,
all that shit.
Amar'e Stoudemire...
Oh.
Answered the door.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
I forgot to tell you I was--
I was dating STAT, yeah.
He's so tall.
Yeah. That's a big dude.
Yeah. I felt like a Smurf.
I learned that that day.
And I remember walking away
just being so upset.
Like, "Why did this woman
even talk to me?"
Oh, 'cause I liked you.
And look at us now.
Great kid, great life...
Yeah.
It's pretty tight, right?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'm reclining...
right now.
Bye, babe
Oh, snap, okay.
I'm gonna race you.
Bye, babe.
No, ain't no bye.
Bye.
I'ma join you.
You're not.
I'm probably gonna even
beat you down.
You're not going to.
I probably am.
You're so competitive.
You're insane.
Yeah.
It's that Y chromosome.
I guess.
You know how we do.
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my love ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my heart ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can have it all ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can have it all ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my time ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And if you want
my last dime ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ You can have it ♪
♪ Have it all ♪
♪ Baby, have it all ♪
I used to think
that I excited him,
that I completed him.
But he was lost.
So was his manhood.
♪ ♪
♪ Look at this, Melvin ♪
♪ Look at this little-ass boy ♪
♪ Snatching up a Black queen ♪
♪ Then treating her
like a toy ♪
♪ He's got a meal
but acting like she's a snack ♪
♪ She calls him out,
and he deflects ♪
♪ Imagine that ♪
♪ ♪
♪ He's not a king,
he's a little-ass boy ♪
♪ Can't tell the truth,
can't experience any joy ♪
♪ Women, if you meet him,
you better run ♪
♪ He'll waste your time ♪
♪ And he won't even
be able to come ♪
Hey, babe,
you wanna know what the key
to really great celery is?
What is it?
It's gotta be hard and stiff.
And it just can't wilt
under pressure.
Okay, you know what? I--
Why did we even come to this?
Why would she invite me?
Isn't that obvious, babe?
It's just to embarrass you.
You want me to spell it out?
♪ You ain't a king,
you a little-ass boy ♪
♪ With a tiny little pee-pee
and a little-ass-♪
Marcus.
Hey.
Hey.
Thanks so much for coming.
Yeah, no, thanks so much
for inviting me.
Oh, and congrats on your
"New York" mag write-up.
You must be thrilled.
I am, I am. Take that, Lin.
Ho-ho, got him!
This is my boyfriend, Ben.
Nice to meet you.
This is my girlfriend, Mia.
Hi.
Hey, I loved your play.
It was very illuminating.
Illuminating of what?
Oh.
Well, Mia was just saying
that she appreciated
how you could take
our relationship
and turn it into art.
Okay, wait.
Marcus, you didn't think
that was about you, right?
'Cause I wrote that
during the pandemic.
It was purely a product
of my imagination.
She did.
And it was. I was there.
We should make the rounds.
Yeah.
My friend from A24 is here.
He's excited to meet you.
Well, Yahtzee.
Okay.
Nice seeing you, Marcus.
Yeah.
And good luck, Mia.
What?
Good luck.
Just a little luck.
Oh.
Come on, babe.
Oop!
Good luck to you too, bitch.
Yo, wow.
What?
That was crazy.
That was crazy.
♪ Little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
♪ And my little-ass drink
for my little-ass boy ♪
♪ And he can't even come,
he can't even come ♪
♪ He got a little weenie
and he can't even come ♪
Here, I'm sorry.
That was the last one,
I promise.
You got reamed, huh?
Yeah, I got worked.
I mean, you do realize
that you broke us up, right?
What?
Remember that time
we ran into each other
when I was moving a car
to the other side
of the street?
Oh, listen, baby.
I can't help it
that you just be, like,
breaking up with people
whenever I walk by.
Oh, well,
maybe I should write
a little shitty play about it,
see if I can't figure that out.
Don't be mad
'cause Ola's profiting
off of her bitterness.
Oh, off-off-Broadway
turns a profit?
Ouch. Wow.
You are spicy tonight.
This is crazy.
I know, I know,
I'm bitter, I'm bitter.
'Cause I ain't got no job.
I'm out here freelance editing
these shitty manuscripts.
And I cannot tell folks
that they are shitty
and that I wrote
better stuff in high school
because I need to earn.
Why don't you just
write something?
Why don't you write a book?
Yeah, pissed-off Black man
writes stinging takedown
of the racist white
publishing industry.
Yeah.
I don't know, I mean, yeah,
there's something there.
Yeah, but you're into it.
I can tell.
You're, like,
thinking about it...
Babe, babe--
Calculating.
Baby, I appreciate
your enthusiasm,
but I need an income.
We're talking about saving up
for a bigger place,
having a kid,
you're still helping your mom.
Look, as far as the money,
I can hold us down for a bit.
You don't have
to worry about it.
The big question is,
what do you have to say?
All right.
I mean, I do have a lot to say.
I know, you got
a lot of little-ass thoughts?
I'm kidding. I had to.
It's like you set me up.
But then what the fuck
are we talking about?
Then say it. Write it.
I love you so much.
I love you too.
Hey, yo, marry me.
What?
Marry me.
Come on, you know you wanna.
"Come on, you know
you wanna marry me?"
What?
What are you saying?
I think I said it.
Where's my ring?
Hmm?
Well, you didn't get down
on no knee or nothing.
You know what?
We can--we can buy one.
Not an expensive one,
but a nice one.
Mm-hmm.
And I do want to build
a life with you.
I want, you know,
a house and a kid.
I want all that stuff
with you, so...
What do you think?
I think that's cool.
I think I want it too.
You do?
I do.
♪ ♪
Marcus?
Marcus.
Oh, shit. Okay.
Baby.
Hey, hey, here you are.
Hi, okay, can you get
some hot sauce too, please?
Mia. Mia, that food
is hot enough as it is.
I don't wanna hurt the baby.
I am so fucking sick
of being pregnant.
I gotta get this baby outta me.
Kind of gonna miss it.
Yeah.
That's because the longer
I'm pregnant,
the longer you get to take
to finish that book.
I'm almost done.
You hear that, peanut?
Daddy's gonna be an author.
Ow, shit!
What? Contraction?
I don't know--I-I hope so.
Okay.
Oh, my God, I am not ready
to have this baby.
Okay, easy, it's okay.
It's okay, we got this.
I think it only
gets worse from here.
In the span
of the next 26 hours,
Marcus and Mia became
Marcus, Mia, baby Audre,
and a half-finished
manuscript.
I would hope so.
This face.
Ooh, she's the cutest.
Yeah, it is so nice
seeing her from this angle
in somebody else's arms.
She's a lot.
I'ma post this
with no comment,
see all the fucked-up shit
people gotta say.
You gotta cover her face
if you doing that.
Uh-huh.
I guess we're just
a couple of breeders now, huh?
Yeah.
I've been a breeder, man.
I'm trying to put as many
Black folks
on the planet
as I possibly can.
I mean, to be honest, man,
I--
I didn't think
we'd get pregnant this quick.
I thought we had
6 to 12 months at least.
Yeah. You all right?
You're not getting any sleep,
and I can tell.
Yeah, I'm not, I'm not.
I'm not, but I'm fine.
You know,
we're getting some help.
Mm, like a Roomba?
No, man.
We're not getting a Roomba.
We're getting a nanny.
Oh, shit. That's fancy.
Yeah.
Bro, you sure y'all can,
you know--
y'all can afford that?
Yes, yeah.
We can afford it.
All right, come on, man.
Don't look at me like that.
It's just--I'll be pulling
my weight in no time.
This is just until
I finish the book.
All right. You know what?
Yeah, man, I respect it, bro.
Black man breaking them
generational curses,
hiring help.
We don't never get help.
We need our help, man.
Get your help, but make sure
she not fine as hell.
You don't want no fine--
You know what?
The nanny's gonna be
whoever takes $20 an hour.
$20 an hour?
Yeah.
She is me.
First of all, look,
y'all getting bank like that?
Listen, Jaleesa,
bring my client to me, please.
I will burp everybody
in this house for $20 an hour.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, babe, are we sure
about this nanny thing?
We fucking better be.
I'm going back to work
tomorrow.
Well, I-I don't know,
I was just thinking, like,
I could watch the baby.
And I could just write
during her nap.
Wait, what?
What?
Did you not learn anything
the past two months?
Are you insane?
Okay,
but I just think that, like,
it's really expensive,
and I've been worried
about bonding time.
Baby, we have nothing
to feel guilty about.
Right, you and me, right here?
We are in
the fucking trenches together.
Besides, white people have been
using nannies for centuries.
They don't feel no guilt.
I once saw this episode
of "Downton Abbey"
where Lady Mary straight up
had a newborn son.
She patted him on his head,
left the room,
and didn't see his white ass
for, like, three full seasons.
Okay, but--so we're
slightly better parents
than a duchess
from, like, the 1920s?
No, baby,
she's not a duchess.
Okay, well,
I don't know her rank.
I didn't watch "Downton Abbey."
Okay, well, I told you
to watch it with me.
It's a classist show.
Okay, well, whatever.
I have a hard time with that.
Everything's--
okay, you know what?
I know this is hard.
Okay, I don't wanna leave
Audre either.
But we--you know,
we worked really hard
to create that budget
for six months
so you could work on your book.
And if you don't finish it,
I will fucking cut you.
All right, my love?
All right, all right.
All right.
Please turn
the fucking light off.
All right.
Good night.
Oh, there we go.
There's my princess.
Yeah, my little queen.
Here we go.
Wow.
Terry, you're like a one-woman
Indy 500 pit crew over there.
I see why your rates
are so premium.
My rates are normal.
Yeah. No, no, I...
Didn't mean it like that.
Um, all right, well, I'll be
at my desk if you need me.
I won't.
Okay.
♪ ♪
narrator:
Back in kindergarten,
Marcus had won a class prize
for a picture book
he'd written
entitled "Big Dog Digs."
But subsequently,
a fear of failure had managed
to convince him out of
the dream of being a writer,
a dream he had put
on the shelf
like it was just
some paperback.
Oh, oh, I was gonna do those.
It's no problem.
Now Marcus had been
working on his tale
of the dark, oppressive world
of publishing
for just shy of a year.
And by the time he finished,
whether it was good or bad
was no longer for him to say.
But whatever it was,
it was something.
Audre!
Shh.
Daddy finished his book.
And thanks for reading this
so fast, man.
I gotta say, I really
appreciate you taking the time.
Oh, no problem, man.
It was my pleasure.
Yeah.
So, um, yeah, you know,
I know it's not perfect.
But I, you know--
I gotta say I'm feeling good.
And you should feel good.
You got it done
with a new baby, that's crazy.
Yeah. Thanks, man.
It's a solid first draft.
Okay. Okay.
Uh, what do you got?
I love the premise. I get it.
Black guy goes crazy
in a white work space.
Very Kanye at the TMZ office.
Uh, it's a lot of good stuff
in there, bro.
It's just,
I don't feel you in it.
There's not enough you in this.
Okay.
I mean, we can get it there.
I know you can get it there.
But what I will say is,
you have
a really nice manuscript
that could be
a really good book
if you stop fucking playing.
Oh, wow, wow. Okay.
Come on, that was my best
Marcus Watkins impression.
You nailed it. You nailed it.
But I will say
it does feel good
to be on this side
of the table for once.
Yeah, I bet.
Yeah, it feels great.
And I also--
I'm paying for this.
There was a reason
Marcus had been an editor
and not a writer.
This moment felt
as if every note he had given
had come back to haunt him.
And as the sea of red ink
bled into Marcus' eyes,
he decided to close them
and worry
about what to do later.
Okay, Mia, see you tomorrow.
I'll see you later.
Marcus
Hey, y'all wearing coats?
What?
Hmm?
narrator:
Worrying about it later
turned into ignoring it
for several weeks.
Can I sh--
I am shitting, Mia.
I am shitting.
Whoa, hang on.
Mia, what the--
I'm sorry, but Terry's sick.
I need you to take
the baby today.
Okay, is there any way
you can work from home today?
I need to get
some writing done.
Baby, are you serious?
It is not gonna magically
come together today,
especially while you're
dropping bombs in the toilet.
I have to go to work,
or we'll be fucked.
I love you.
Love you too.
Jesus, why did I look
in the mirror?
As Marcus
pushed his child
through the American Museum
of Natural History
on a Friday afternoon,
he couldn't help but feel
a little sorry for himself.
And he wore zebra pants.
He was a failure,
both professionally
and personally,
a little-ass boy after all.
♪ ♪
Marcus? Hi.
Darby, yo, hey! What's up?
Hi, how are you?
Oh, I saw this sweet
single dad,
and then it's you.
Oh, this is Theo.
Hey, Theo.
This is Marcus.
Hey.
Oh, this must be Audre.
Yeah.
Oh, it's nice to see her
without an emoji over her face.
Yeah, yeah.
Mia's pretty protective.
No, I've been meaning
to text her, actually,
but I figured saying,
"Hi, show me your baby's face,"
that would be aggressive.
Yeah, yeah. A little bit.
How are you guys?
Uh, you know, good, good.
Mostly.
Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah. How's...Grant?
Grant, yes. Good. Same.
You know, it's--
every day's an adventure.
Oh, okay.
So once you become a parent,
it never goes back to normal.
No, no, God,
that would be nice, but no.
Hang in there.
It's--it is all worth it.
All right.
Hi, baby.
Hey.
Hi.
Hey, hey.
Oh, sorry.
♪ ♪
What's all this?
I just wanted to show
my appreciation.
You know, how lucky I am.
I've been having
a really hard time
ever since Trey read the book.
He really got in my head.
Like, what the fuck
am I even doing?
You're writing a book.
That's what you're doing.
Well, I mean,
his big note was
that I'm not in the book,
and he's right.
I'm not.
I don't want that guy in there.
I wrote a character
that I wanted to be, you know?
And it--
it just didn't ring true.
'Cause I'm hiding.
I'm always hiding.
I was hiding in editing, but...
maybe that's all
I'm cut out for.
No. Fuck that.
You hated editing.
Baby, how are you
gonna fix this book?
I don't know.
I guess I could do
that real scary shit
and write a guy like me.
Complicated softy
prone to juvenile fuckups.
You ain't that complicated.
Look, baby, I know
that this is really hard.
I do.
But you gotta keep pushing.
Okay, I will.
And he did.
In three months,
the book was finished.
And a year after that,
it was published.
Thanks, man.
♪ ♪
Hello! I'm home.
Baby, hi.
Hey, baby.
Mwah. Mm!
How was your flight?
It was good.
It was good?
Yeah. Where's Audre?
Terry just got her
into the bath.
Oh, I'm gonna go say hi.
Okay, wait.
But don't rile her up.
And do not give her
any of those airplane cookies.
Okay?
She lost her mind last time.
Oh, I would never.
Mm-hmm.
And why aren't you dressed?
We gotta get going pretty soon.
Because I've been
a single parent for ten days?
Right, right,
I'm just nervous
because the "Times" reporter
is gonna be there.
I mean, do you not wanna go?
'Cause, I mean,
you don't have to.
No, I want to go.
Okay.
Thanks, babe.
We're gonna have a great time.
My baby!
Honestly, he wouldn't even be
a writer if it wasn't for me.
Eh...damn,
that's kind of true, actually.
Trey was very helpful.
Ah, you heard it.
Make sure that makes
the profile.
Trey Lang made Marcus Watkins.
Whoa, sound bite.
As did my wife,
who worked her ass off
and allowed me to be
a very unemployed writer
for two years.
Thank you.
Yeah, we had a daughter.
Really sweet.
We--
How did your friendship
change now that you're peers?
Well, first off,
Marcus talks way more shit now.
I love you two.
Yeah, me too.
I'm gonna re-up on some eggnog.
You guys want anything?
Oh, no, I'm good.
Okay.
I'll take a scotch and soda.
Okay.
♪ Merry Christmas, I don't
want to fight tonight with ♪
♪ Merry Christmas,
I don't want to ♪
Yeah. Yeah, the book
is really personal.
This next one,
it's a bit of a tonal shift.
So it's been sort of a battle.
♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪
Can you excuse me
for just one second?
Of course. Of course.
♪ ♪
♪ Bought me a diamond ring
for Christmas ♪
♪ I feel like I'm
in paradise ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I feel mighty fine, y'all ♪
Hey.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
I just needed a minute.
Look, I...appreciate you.
Really?
Yes. Yes.
I know you're tired
and I dragged you out
to this party,
and I shouldn't have, and...
Babe, it's just been a long
ten days with you gone,
and now you're back
and you're diving
right back into this shit.
I know. I'm sorry.
And I...
I guess this is--
this is all really new to me.
And I guess I'm just scared
that if I don't say yes
to everything, that...
It'll all just go away.
Listen, baby,
you're doing really well.
You just gotta trust it.
You know what?
What?
Let's get
the fuck outta here.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, how late can Terry stay?
How much are you willing
to pay?
So wait, wait, wait, wait,
she bought the purse--
the purse--
a first class ticket?
Yes, babe, 'cause she said
it was cheaper
to buy an unaccompanied
minor ticket than to ship it.
And then somewhere
in between Dubai and New York,
that shit went missing.
No, it didn't go missing.
It went home
with a flight attendant.
I know!
So now it's, like,
an Interpol situation,
and it's, like,
detectives and shit.
It's crazy.
And honestly,
my job is so stupid.
It's stupid.
And I think I wanna quit. I do.
Yeah, fuck it.
Quit then.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, we're doing okay.
I think I got us for a while.
And nothing's worth
that kind of stress.
I think you should quit
that motherfucker.
All right.
I'm gonna quit my job.
Yeah?
I'm gonna quit
my fucking job.
Let's quit your fucking job.
Let's celebrate.
Let's do some fucking shots.
Let's do some fucking shots.
Yeah.
Let's do some shots.
Some fucking shots.
Damn, okay, all right.
Excuse me, can we get
two shots of vodka, please?
It's Buffalo Bill.
I think she's a vodka person.
Oh, no.
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
Oh, okay.
♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
We got a babysitter.
So we gonna get lit up!
Whoo!
♪ You should feel
the impact, shop on plastic ♪
Let's do another one.
Do another one.
Do another one.
You!
♪ Watch me as I gas
that 4 dot 6 Range ♪
both:
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L in the back
of the Benz-E ♪
♪ Oh,
why must I feel this way? ♪
♪ Hey, must be the money ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and take a ride with me ♪
♪ We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
♪ Oh,
why do I live this way? ♪
♪ Hey, must be the money! ♪
♪ If you wanna go
and get high with me ♪
♪ Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
Oh, my--can you please
pull over, please?
Oh.
Oh.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
As Marcus wiped
regurgitated eggnog
off the side of the Uber,
he was warmed
by a feeling of being needed.
For he now knew
that being a man
meant stepping up
to the plate not once,
but in perpetuity.
And even just having a plate
to step up to
made him as lucky
as a person can get.
We're going to go see
Grandma and Grandpa.
Hey, baby.
Why you bringing
this many coats?
It's Michigan. It's not Russia.
You know your parents keep it
to 56 degrees in that house.
So layers, babes.
Oh, come on,
they turn the heat on.
Do they?
Yeah.
Mm-kay. They don't.
Who is that?
Oh, I don't know.
Hey.
Donna?
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, look, Audre,
it's Grandma.
Oh, come here, my precious.
I could eat you with a spoon.
What are you doing here?
Oh, there's been
a slight change of plans.
Mom's gonna watch Audre
for five days
while we go to the Bahamas.
Wait, what?
Yeah, yeah.
So you might want to get rid
of some of those coats.
I'm gonna go get a snack.
Let's go get a snack.
Shall we, baby?
Yes. Let's go get--
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Look, babe, we can't go
to the Bahamas right now.
I'm, like, not ready.
I'm, like, not even
waxed appropriately.
I'll wax you.
You didn't book
a Sandals, right?
Oh, no, no, no.
Okay.
It is not a Sandals.
Good job, baby.
It's gonna be perfect.
I promise.
You trust me?
Yes.
Yeah?
Yes.
All right.
Audre, you might get
a little brother for Christmas.
Yeah. What? No. No, no.
Oh, no.
Mom.
Uh-uh.
Whoa.
Would you like
some champagne?
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Champagne for you?
Mm.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Holy shit, babe.
They got a massager on here.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's good shit.
I'm ruined.
What?
I love you so much.
Oh, baby, I love you too.
I'm serious.
Like...growing up,
I never had a good model
of what a relationship was,
you know,
and I didn't know
how much work it takes.
And my parents didn't do
any of that work,
and I just feel so lucky
that I get to figure it out
with you.
Thank you for sticking with me.
Oh.
Well, thank you
for putting up with me.
Yeah. Yeah.
You are definitely worth
the trouble.
What?
Yeah.
Excuse you.
Yeah, no.
"The trouble"?
Yeah, you are trouble.
Whatever. Whatever.
Hey, I got a question.
Back when we first met,
do you remember
getting, like, this hangover
care package thing?
No. No.
Okay.
Well, I showed up
at your apartment,
and I-I brought Gatorade,
fucking Pedialyte,
Smart Water, chips, soup,
all that shit.
Amar'e Stoudemire...
Oh.
Answered the door.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
I forgot to tell you I was--
I was dating STAT, yeah.
He's so tall.
Yeah. That's a big dude.
Yeah. I felt like a Smurf.
I learned that that day.
And I remember walking away
just being so upset.
Like, "Why did this woman
even talk to me?"
Oh, 'cause I liked you.
And look at us now.
Great kid, great life...
Yeah.
It's pretty tight, right?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'm reclining...
right now.
Bye, babe
Oh, snap, okay.
I'm gonna race you.
Bye, babe.
No, ain't no bye.
Bye.
I'ma join you.
You're not.
I'm probably gonna even
beat you down.
You're not going to.
I probably am.
You're so competitive.
You're insane.
Yeah.
It's that Y chromosome.
I guess.
You know how we do.
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my love ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my heart ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can have it all ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can have it all ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If you want,
want my time ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And if you want
my last dime ♪
♪ Take it, baby ♪
♪ You can have it ♪
♪ Have it all ♪
♪ Baby, have it all ♪