Love Life (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Episode #2.1 - full transcript
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
narrator: There is no destiny.
There are no soulmates.
There is no "one."
And yet it could be said
that the core
of human concern
is a desire to connect.
♪ ♪
Upon further exploration
of this phenomenon,
it becomes clear
that there is only so much
one can glean from
examining a single life.
- Tequila!
- Congratulation,
you're married!
- Yeah!
For now.
[pulsing dance music]
Thanks!
narrator: Because for every
choice that subject makes,
someone else is out there
charting an entirely
different course.
- Bulleit rocks.
narrator: Marcus Watkins
had always adapted
as a means of survival,
carefully constructing
chameleonic variations
of himself
in order to present
a certain facade to the world.
As a result, his own impulses
were often shrouded
in a fog of
self-consciousness.
- What's up, nerd?
- Hey, babe.
Sorry, it's Keely.
Josh has been all over me to
get something good out of her.
- Finish that shit
so we can dance.
- Yeah, totally.
Just give me one second.
♪ ♪
- All right!
[indistinct laughter
and chatter]
♪ ♪
- You gotta get them
to stop putting you
on those influencer books.
- I think she's about
to leave me alone.
I will come find you.
♪ ♪
- You sure you don't wanna
go do a bump, baby?
- Uh, I'm good.
I did one earlier.
- Yeah, like an hour ago.
Whoo!
narrator: This is the story
of Marcus Watkins.
[indistinct chatter]
- You're in
my hiding spot, dude.
- Nah.
Nah, nah,
this is my hiding spot.
I've been coming
out here all night.
- Okay.
- Who you hiding from?
- Darby--she keeps trying
to get me to dance with her.
I'm like,
"Dance with your husband."
- [laughs]
- What?
- Are you one of those "doesn't
dance at weddings" people?
- Honestly, I just can't dance
in a room full of white people.
It makes me feel like
I'm on display.
- Yup.
- They all turn and look.
You'd be like, "what?"
[laughter]
- I-I know the feeling.
Although, truth be told,
I'm not a great dancer, so.
- Oh, that's too bad.
- [scoffs]
Come--
Come on!
This is dumb.
Sorry, it's like
BuzzFeed became sentient
and wrote a book.
- What are you,
a book critic or something?
- Close, I'm a book editor.
- Oh.
- Yeah, that's usually
the response I get.
- I'm sorry.
Let me try that again.
That's incredible, wow.
- Okay, all right.
- A book editor.
- I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know.
- [laughs]
- Is this guy lost or what?
So, Mr. Book Editor,
do you have any recommendations
for me?
- Oh, well, what are you into?
- Reading.
- All right, smart ass.
My favorite thing I've read
recently is this sci-fi thing
set in this alternate universe
where Haiti was
never colonized.
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
- What's it called?
- It's not published yet.
- You had one job.
- I know.
- One.
- I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But it's...
It's real good.
I can't stop thinking about it.
And it's written
by this kid who's,
like, finishing up
the grad program over Colombia.
- Can you send it to me?
- Yeah, all right, yeah.
Give me your email.
I'm Marcus, by the way.
- Mia.
So how'd you end up
at this sad-ass wedding?
- My wife used to work
with Magnus.
- Cool.
- Yeah, I mean,
we were surprised
we even got the invite.
I mean, he's not even
that close with Emily.
- Emily?
- Yeah, she's the one doing
the ice luge with the bride.
[indistinct chatter
and laughter]
- [laughs]
That makes sense.
- "Makes sense"?
What's that supposed to mean?
Makes sense?
- Nothing.
Fucking finally,
here's my Uber.
[laughs]
It was nice meeting you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- For Mia?
[funky music]
narrator: When Marcus
met his wife, Emily,
their very coupling had
been a way for him to rebel.
While she wasn't considered
the right choice
in his family of origin,
she was his choice,
and that was
all that mattered.
- Cake coming in!
Beep, beep!
Time to celebrate
the bride and groom!
- Mag, put me down!
Put me down!
No, Magnus, Magnus,
put me down, put me down!
- Okay!
- Sorry.
I just don't like that.
I'm sorry.
- All right, who wants cake?
Who wants it?
[laughs]
Who are you?
- Magnus' friend.
- Ooh, we got a wrong answer!
- Give me the knife.
- Easy there, killer.
We don't want a lawsuit.
- Whoo!
- I had so much fun.
- Yeah, I bet you did,
Scarface.
[laughter]
- Did you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Sorry, I couldn't
get on your level.
- Okay, I'm coming down now.
You didn't do any mingling?
- No, no, I just had to deal
with that work shit.
- I feel like I saw you
through the window
talking to some girl.
- You feel like you saw me?
- Yes.
[laughter]
- Who was she?
- Don't know, just some girl
who works with Darby.
- Some girl who works
with Darby
with a really nice red dress.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I gotta go to sleep.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Unless you wanna have sex.
- Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm really tired.
[laughter]
- It's okay.
As soon as I said it,
I was like...
- But tomorrow, though.
- Tomorrow.
- Gonna wear that ass out.
- Ooh, okay.
Can you put on a podcast?
- Now that I can do.
What do you wanna listen to?
- Anything.
I just need some noise.
- This is "Fresh Air."
I'm Terry Gross.
My guest,
comic W. Kamau Bell--
- Yes.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- CNN, where he's hosting
a new docuseries...
[door creaking, closing]
[phone buzzes]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Morning.
♪ ♪
Freddie.
- Hey, what's up, Marcus?
- What's going on?
- All right, bye.
You got a lot going on.
[indistinct chatter]
- Yo, buddy.
- Hey, Josh, what's up?
- How's Keely's book coming?
- It's coming.
We got a title,
"Influencee to Influencer
"in 140 Easy Steps,
open parentheses,
"Really 141 Steps,
But Who's Counting?
Winky face emoji,
close parentheses."
- That's the whole title?
- Yeah.
- That's too long.
- You think?
- You know how well
these books do for us.
- Oh, yeah, you're really
carving out a new niche,
books for people
who don't read.
- Yeah, I'm gonna just move to
just straight-up picture books.
- Sorry to interrupt,
but Trae Lang is here.
Should I grab him?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
This is
the Colombia grad student
I was telling you about.
Did you read his book?
- No, Marcus, I--
the last afro-futurism book
that you foisted upon me
sold shit.
- Come on, it wasn't that bad.
And besides, this one for them,
one for me model,
doesn't really work
if I never get one for me.
- Can you just, like,
summarize it for me?
Like, half a page.
- Sure, okay.
- Cool.
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Damn, white people wilding
around here, huh?
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
- Trae.
Marcus Watkins.
- What's up, Marcus Watkins?
- All right.
I gotta tell you,
I've been really looking
forward to this meeting.
- How come you got no brothers
on the wall?
Do the right thing.
- Oh, yeah, right, Sal's.
Yeah, that's funny.
- Dude, I'm fucking with you.
You got plenty
of Black people up there.
So what are you,
head of the urban division?
- I try to create
more opportunities
for writers of color, sure.
But what I loved about you
is that you're young
and honest and, man,
your writing is so visceral.
I think together
we can refine it.
- That's crazy--so now they got
Black dudes telling me
it's too Black
instead of white guys.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, I didn't say all that.
I didn't say it was too Black.
- Dude, I'm not dumb.
I know what "refined"
is code for.
- All right, let me explain
what I can do for you.
My job is
to nurture your vision
and ultimately
to fight for you.
We just have to get it
in shape first.
- So you're a fighter?
- Yeah, I'd say so.
- I'd say you're the middleman.
Like, dude, I'm not trying
to insult you--I get it.
We need guys like you
to translate guys like me.
- I'm sorry, guys like me?
- Come on, Barack.
Safe, non-threatening.
Al Roker, LeVar Burton,
Samuel L. Jackson.
- Samuel L. Jackson?
Non-threatening?
- Dude, you think you get to go
from "Pulp Fiction"
to Capital One if you
really scare white people?
- Okay, I'd like to talk
about the book.
- See, that's just it, man.
I say crazy shit all the time.
And if you wanna be my editor,
you gotta be ready
to spar with me.
- Okay.
Look, you are
genuinely talented.
And this is a good manuscript
that could be a great book.
But you've obviously
come in here
with some preconceived notions
about who I am
and what I do and how I do it.
Now, I'm gonna be honest
with you.
No one is gonna buy this book,
including this company,
the way that it is.
But if you are willing
to pull up your sleeves
and do the work,
we can get it there.
- Classic Obama.
- Well, look, man, I'm just
trying to be real with you.
Huh?
I thought you liked to spar.
- Yeah, whatever,
uh, Marcus Watkins,
I think this meeting is over.
I'ma go meet
with the other editors
I gotta meet with today.
- Okay, that's fine.
Good luck finding one
that will publish
a 1,000-page book
from an unknown author.
Fuck y'all looking at?
- That's a pretty hot
Sam Jackson take.
I ain't gon' hold you up.
- The kid's a fucking nut.
- Yeah, but that's
what you do, bro.
You're the nut gatherer,
dealing with these nutty ass
writers, man.
- I tried to dap him up,
and he goes with this
white guy business handshake.
- No dap, he we went
for the graduation handshake?
- Yeah, I mean,
like I'm some kind of square
that can't dap you up.
- Yeah, man, sound like
he hit you with the crossover
straight to the basket.
Everybody so used to vying
for your approval,
and now you're vying for his.
- Yeah, bro,
you should be a psychiatrist.
- I should be a psychiatrist,
dealing with your little
weak ass problems.
- I can't believe this kid
didn't dap me up.
- Hold on, hold on one second.
Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.
Yo, yo, it's Yogi.
Ah!
Mr. DiMarzio, how are you, man?
Nothing, man,
chilling right here
with Carmelo and Kristaps.
wondering why you ain't got
the 2017 sweet.
2017 is our year.
Uh-huh, full of linguini,
just like you like it.
Ahh, my pasta brother.
All right, man,
I'll talk to you soon.
Tell your wife I said hello.
All right.
Big bitch--hello.
- Yo, I thought
you sold luxury boxes.
It sounds like you got demoted
to concessions.
- Bro, they love pasta.
I don't know what it is, bruh.
This motherfucker,
he don't even watch the game.
All he do is eat the linguini,
the long ass ones, too.
Him and his wife be doing
the little...
[slurps]
And then they kiss.
Anyway, look, bro,
I'm trying to tell you.
Don't let this dude
get you off your square.
Like, bro,
you know what you are.
You know who you are, man.
You're a happy dude.
You're successful.
He's not, fuck 'im.
- Man, you're right.
You're right.
Man, fuck Trae,
small ass child.
Yeah, he's shorter than me,
and, like, I'm not tall,
you know.
- [sighs]
[phone buzzes]
Give me a scratch.
Okay, I'm good.
Thank you.
It's so funny how
the scratching feels amazing,
and then the second it's
too much, it's like, ahh, stop.
And also, will you
put a carrot in my ass?
- Hmm?
Sorry.
Sorry, work stuff.
Can I ask you something?
- What?
- Who am I like?
- Who are you like?
- Yeah, like,
who do you I remind you of?
Who am I similar to?
A celebrity, if that helps,
a Black celebrity.
- Is this a trap?
- No.
No, I was just trying
to narrow it down for you.
- I mean, I know
this is really obvious,
especially since we met
right around inauguration,
but I have to say Obama.
- Really?
Why?
- He's so smart
and, like, poised.
He unifies people, you know?
He never gets angry.
He always keeps his cool.
- Thanks.
- Are you mad?
- No, no.
- I think being compared
to the president
is a huge compliment.
- And it is.
It--it totally is.
- This was your idea.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- So I haven't thought
about this in years,
but I know
who else you remind me of.
- Who?
- I had the biggest crush
on him when I was a kid,
the "Reading Rainbow" guy.
And I remember
he had an earring, too,
and that just blew my mind.
You've never thought about
getting an earning, right?
narrator: Marcus knew
Mia was in a relationship...
[phone dings]
But he was, too, so really,
what was the harm
in them continuing to talk?
[Dionne Warwick's
"You're Gonna Need Me"]
- ♪ Mmm, you're gonna want me
back in your arms ♪
- Hey, asshole, move!
- ♪ One day, one day ♪
♪ You're gonna want me back ♪
narrator: Hiding
in the plausible deniability
of their "friendship,"
Marcus was able to converse
with Mia constantly.
- I issued a very formal
apology on my YouTube channel.
[phone vibrating]
Like, I talked about it
honestly ad nauseam
for, like, an hour,
and most of my videos are only
like 30 minutes,
so I feel like--I don't know.
This is my happiness,
this is my chance,
this is my opportunity
to, like, reclaim that.
Like, "Keely,
she's just like us."
I don't know, I'm just like, do
I need to keep bringing it up
and, like, hashing it out
in this book?
narrator: He took her apparent
reciprocity as a sign
that the relationship
she was in
had just as many cracks
as his own.
- Can I get a Greek salad?
- I'd like the chicken Caesar,
but sub broccoli for chicken.
- Yo, what the fuck?
- What?
Don't worry about it.
- Sub broccoli for chicken
on a chicken Caesar?
- Don't worry about it.
Yes, it's the Caesar taste,
but I want it
a little more green.
- She just wants
a bag of roughage.
- I would really love
your finest bag of roughage.
Thank you.
- Wow.
- Well, now it's like
a whole thing where there are
two Black people arguing
about vegetables in the store.
narrator: For years, Emily's
regular night shifts at Maeve
had afforded both her
and Marcus an autonomy
that each of them
had always tried
to reinforce
with a mutual trust.
Marcus had,
on multiple occasions,
tested that trust with
so-called "harmless crushes."
Technically, though,
he'd never crossed the line.
- Hey, I thought you had
the night off.
- No, I'll be back late.
Tiffany's out sick,
and we're short-staffed.
- All good, have a good night.
- You, too.
- ♪ In your arms ♪
♪ You're gonna need me
one day ♪
♪ You're gonna want me back ♪
narrator:
But this time around,
Mia was the only thing
he could think about.
- ♪ Tell me who's gonna take ♪
♪ The heartbreak I took ♪
♪ And still be there ♪
♪ At the close of the book ♪
♪ When you've grown older ♪
♪ And lost your way ♪
♪ And all your rainbows ♪
[phone dings]
♪ Have turned to gray ♪
♪ You better stop ♪
♪ And think
about what you're doing ♪
♪ You better stop ♪
♪ And think about
what you're doing ♪
♪ Well, give a little back ♪
♪ Of what you've been taking ♪
♪ You better start
being real ♪
♪ And stop your faking ♪
♪ You better
prepare yourself ♪
♪ Ooh, for that rainy day ♪
♪ You better
throw a little-- ♪
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Oh, just 35 minutes,
no worries.
- Wow, you're calling me out
with specifics.
- You look good.
- I'm coming from something
else, so don't read into it.
♪ ♪
- So how long
is the boyfriend gone?
- He's always out of town
for work.
We're basically long-distance.
- Oh, man, how's that going?
- It is going.
Where's your girl?
- She's working tonight.
- She know we're hanging out?
- Okay, what are you
trying to do me?
- I'm just curious.
- This isn't, like, illicit.
You said it yourself,
we're just hanging.
- Exactly.
So how long
you guys been married?
- Four years, but we've been
together since grad school.
And, you know...
I-I do feel guilty being here.
- You should.
- What about you?
- My situation is different.
- How so?
- Cause it's my business,.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
So before Emily,
you ever dated a Black woman?
- Oh, snap.
We doing this now?
- We are, yeah.
- All right.
Yeah, I mean,
I've dated Black women.
- You ever been in a long-term
relationship with one?
That's what I thought.
- All right, all right,
all right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I know what you're thinking,
but I'm not that guy.
I always thought
that I would marry a Black
woman somewhere down the line,
but then I just ended up
with Emily, so...
- That's really romantic.
- Come on, I don't know.
Mia, I'm sure I have my issues,
but I guess deep down,
I was always afraid
of fucking it up with them.
♪ ♪
- Would you fuck
things up with me?
♪ ♪
- You're fucking flirting, man.
- [laughs]
Yeah.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
It's a habit.
♪ ♪
- You know, honestly,
I haven't been
in that many relationships,
period.
Like, there was high school,
and there was college,
and then there was Emily,
so...
- Mister Monogamy.
Well, kind of.
- Okay, seriously,
what is wrong with you?
- [laughs]
I'm fucking with you, sorry.
I mean, we're obviously
both just bored,
so we might as well have fun.
♪ ♪
- I'm hungry.
You hungry?
[upbeat music]
You probably can't
sub for broccoli here.
- You know what?
Just for that, I'm asking.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
♪ ♪
- Two more vodka DCs,
AKA diet cokes,
flying at you.
- Yeah, you almost made
it sound like a real drink.
- It is.
- Your parents are
really attractive.
- Oh, I know.
It's probably
why they got divorced
and then married
a couple uggos.
One hottie per household.
♪ ♪
- Oh, this hadn't
occurred to me
when I sat here,
I swear to God.
- Yeah, who sits in the middle
of someone's couch?
- Well, you have
all these pillows and all,
like, expensive-looking.
- Really?
But there's just so much space.
You can move a pillow.
- I know, but I mean, yeah.
I probably could have, yeah.
- Empower yourself.
♪ ♪
- So what do your parents do?
- My mom is a loan manager
at the Bank of Maryland.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
And my dad owns six Popeyes.
- Yo, what?
- Yeah, everyone
reacts like that, I know.
My mom gave my dad the loan
for his first Popeyes.
- Oh, whoa.
- And then he left her.
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
It's trifling, right?
- I was, like,
am I gonna go live right now?
And I did.
He fucking left her.
♪ ♪
- Do you want me to move over?
- You can do whatever you want.
♪ ♪
- I should probably head home.
♪ ♪
- I have an early morning.
- Yeah, I have
an earlier morning.
- This was fun.
- Yeah.
- Good stuff.
- Yeah, great stuff.
- Okay.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- Bye.
- Bye.
[door closes]
♪ ♪
- There is a problem--
- What did I do?
- Mm, hi.
- Hey, I thought
you hated this show.
- What time is it?
Is it super late?
- Kinda, last-minute dinner
with some agents,
and then we out and got
some drinks afterwards, so...
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I didn't text you.
Was work alright?
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just--just tired.
- Okay, good night.
- Good night.
- [shouts]
- Yes.
Here, bro.
Don't chug it.
It's vodka.
- You ever give him
the wrong sippy cup?
- Yeah, mm-hmm, one time.
He threw it right up, too.
His first drink, man.
There you go, sweetheart.
Armbar!
- Hey.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- So what's up?
Somebody called you Van Jones?
- No--
- But you're Marcus.
I'll kick somebody's ass, bro.
- No.
I meet someone else?
I think.
- What do you mean you think,
unless it's a ghost?
- No, like it might
be something real,
even though
she has a boyfriend.
- Oh, my God, are you serious?
Bro, that's why I don't even
leave the house, man,
shit like that.
I do my little errands.
I do shit with the kids.
And I go home, man.
That's just too messy.
What are you doing?
- Okay, but can I show you
a picture of this girl?
- No, mm-mm, then you make
me like her,
then I'm thinking about her.
No, I don't even
wanna be a part of it.
- All right, here we go.
- Lemme see, hurry, up.
Oh, damn!
- Yeah.
- Bro, what are you
even worried about?
You have no chance
with this girl.
- All right, all right.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, you let me see.
Now let me live.
Now I'm invested.
Yogi's approval.
Lemme see--oh, PG County.
She went to Spelman?
She makes more money than you.
- How do you know
she makes more money than me?
- I can just tell,
that smooth ass forehead,
that nose, those teeth.
You just know she probably bite
her apples real smooth.
Yep, she got insurance.
Like, bro, what are you
really doing right now?
Like, Emily, that's your speed.
She don't mind your little,
low five-figure salary
that you're putting up.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
high five figures.
It's mid to high five figures.
- It's low.
- But I don't think that Mia
cares about that either.
I mean, even though
it doesn't really matter
because we're technically
just friends.
- Oh, "we're just friends."
You always show me your friends
on social media,
huh, and they always be fine
as hell like that.
Are you not happy with Emily?
- I don't know, man.
Everything is just fucking off.
Like, I just--I don't feel
that spark anymore.
- All right, so let me
ask you a question.
When's the last time y'all did,
like, a romantic getaway?
Like, me and Tina, we do, like,
a little Catskills weekend--
- Bro, the fucking mountains
are not gonna fix this.
I feel like I can't show her
who I really am.
- Okay, Spider-Man, like,
what are you talking about?
- No, I'm serious!
We fell in love with these
versions of each other, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- And now the dust is settled.
And, bro, we're just us.
- Bro, you sound like one of
them white ass books
you be selling, man.
What are you talking about?
You know you gotta work
at this shit, right?
Like, make
the happiness happen.
I'ma tell you something
that you might not wanna hear.
This Mia shit,
shut it down, bro.
Shut it down, man.
Go home to your wife, bro.
- Yeah, you--
yeah, you're right.
You're right.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're totally right.
- I know I'm right.
That's what's up, baby, yes!
There you go!
There you go!
[line trilling]
- Hey, what's up?
- Yo, how you feeling today?
- Honestly,
I'm pretty hungover.
I think I'm just gonna
take it easy,
get in the bath,
crawl into bed.
I don't know, you?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Is that soup up yet?
Thank you.
All right, I'll take an Advil.
And do you have anything else
that's good for a hangover?
Dope.
Yo, hold that door.
♪ ♪
- Can I help you?
- Amar'e Stoudemire?
- Bingo.
- Who is it?
- Babe, you ordered food?
- No.
- Postmates.
- Okay.
Huh, yo, Gatorade.
My man, I appreciate that.
- All right.
- [chuckles]
narrator: All Marcus could
think was thank God
he hadn't risked everything
for someone so utterly
out of his league.
At least now he knew.
And a distinct focus
washed over him.
Marcus had been acting crazy.
He had always loved Emily.
Sure, they'd been
on autopilot for a while.
But what couple hasn't had
their rough patches?
- Hey.
♪ ♪
What's wrong?
♪ ♪
- "The first year I brought her
home to Michigan for Christmas,
"she said the yams
were too spicy.
So my family still
just calls her 'Spicy.'"
- Em--
- Hang on, I'm just scrolling
through a bunch
of pictures of
"ugly white babies."
- Em--
- "Sorry,
I know I'm being mean.
This is just my only outlet."
Oh, and how about these?
From literally the middle of
the fucking night last night.
♪ ♪
"I don't think
she understands me.
You understand me
better than my own wife."
And then...
[sniffles]
"I shouldn't have
gotten married so young.
I feel stuck."
♪ ♪
[quiet indistinct vocalizing]
♪ ♪
narrator: There is no destiny.
There are no soulmates.
There is no "one."
And yet it could be said
that the core
of human concern
is a desire to connect.
♪ ♪
Upon further exploration
of this phenomenon,
it becomes clear
that there is only so much
one can glean from
examining a single life.
- Tequila!
- Congratulation,
you're married!
- Yeah!
For now.
[pulsing dance music]
Thanks!
narrator: Because for every
choice that subject makes,
someone else is out there
charting an entirely
different course.
- Bulleit rocks.
narrator: Marcus Watkins
had always adapted
as a means of survival,
carefully constructing
chameleonic variations
of himself
in order to present
a certain facade to the world.
As a result, his own impulses
were often shrouded
in a fog of
self-consciousness.
- What's up, nerd?
- Hey, babe.
Sorry, it's Keely.
Josh has been all over me to
get something good out of her.
- Finish that shit
so we can dance.
- Yeah, totally.
Just give me one second.
♪ ♪
- All right!
[indistinct laughter
and chatter]
♪ ♪
- You gotta get them
to stop putting you
on those influencer books.
- I think she's about
to leave me alone.
I will come find you.
♪ ♪
- You sure you don't wanna
go do a bump, baby?
- Uh, I'm good.
I did one earlier.
- Yeah, like an hour ago.
Whoo!
narrator: This is the story
of Marcus Watkins.
[indistinct chatter]
- You're in
my hiding spot, dude.
- Nah.
Nah, nah,
this is my hiding spot.
I've been coming
out here all night.
- Okay.
- Who you hiding from?
- Darby--she keeps trying
to get me to dance with her.
I'm like,
"Dance with your husband."
- [laughs]
- What?
- Are you one of those "doesn't
dance at weddings" people?
- Honestly, I just can't dance
in a room full of white people.
It makes me feel like
I'm on display.
- Yup.
- They all turn and look.
You'd be like, "what?"
[laughter]
- I-I know the feeling.
Although, truth be told,
I'm not a great dancer, so.
- Oh, that's too bad.
- [scoffs]
Come--
Come on!
This is dumb.
Sorry, it's like
BuzzFeed became sentient
and wrote a book.
- What are you,
a book critic or something?
- Close, I'm a book editor.
- Oh.
- Yeah, that's usually
the response I get.
- I'm sorry.
Let me try that again.
That's incredible, wow.
- Okay, all right.
- A book editor.
- I know, I know, I know.
I know, I know, I know.
- [laughs]
- Is this guy lost or what?
So, Mr. Book Editor,
do you have any recommendations
for me?
- Oh, well, what are you into?
- Reading.
- All right, smart ass.
My favorite thing I've read
recently is this sci-fi thing
set in this alternate universe
where Haiti was
never colonized.
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
- What's it called?
- It's not published yet.
- You had one job.
- I know.
- One.
- I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But it's...
It's real good.
I can't stop thinking about it.
And it's written
by this kid who's,
like, finishing up
the grad program over Colombia.
- Can you send it to me?
- Yeah, all right, yeah.
Give me your email.
I'm Marcus, by the way.
- Mia.
So how'd you end up
at this sad-ass wedding?
- My wife used to work
with Magnus.
- Cool.
- Yeah, I mean,
we were surprised
we even got the invite.
I mean, he's not even
that close with Emily.
- Emily?
- Yeah, she's the one doing
the ice luge with the bride.
[indistinct chatter
and laughter]
- [laughs]
That makes sense.
- "Makes sense"?
What's that supposed to mean?
Makes sense?
- Nothing.
Fucking finally,
here's my Uber.
[laughs]
It was nice meeting you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- For Mia?
[funky music]
narrator: When Marcus
met his wife, Emily,
their very coupling had
been a way for him to rebel.
While she wasn't considered
the right choice
in his family of origin,
she was his choice,
and that was
all that mattered.
- Cake coming in!
Beep, beep!
Time to celebrate
the bride and groom!
- Mag, put me down!
Put me down!
No, Magnus, Magnus,
put me down, put me down!
- Okay!
- Sorry.
I just don't like that.
I'm sorry.
- All right, who wants cake?
Who wants it?
[laughs]
Who are you?
- Magnus' friend.
- Ooh, we got a wrong answer!
- Give me the knife.
- Easy there, killer.
We don't want a lawsuit.
- Whoo!
- I had so much fun.
- Yeah, I bet you did,
Scarface.
[laughter]
- Did you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Sorry, I couldn't
get on your level.
- Okay, I'm coming down now.
You didn't do any mingling?
- No, no, I just had to deal
with that work shit.
- I feel like I saw you
through the window
talking to some girl.
- You feel like you saw me?
- Yes.
[laughter]
- Who was she?
- Don't know, just some girl
who works with Darby.
- Some girl who works
with Darby
with a really nice red dress.
- Come on.
- Okay.
I gotta go to sleep.
Good night.
- Good night.
- Unless you wanna have sex.
- Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm really tired.
[laughter]
- It's okay.
As soon as I said it,
I was like...
- But tomorrow, though.
- Tomorrow.
- Gonna wear that ass out.
- Ooh, okay.
Can you put on a podcast?
- Now that I can do.
What do you wanna listen to?
- Anything.
I just need some noise.
- This is "Fresh Air."
I'm Terry Gross.
My guest,
comic W. Kamau Bell--
- Yes.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- CNN, where he's hosting
a new docuseries...
[door creaking, closing]
[phone buzzes]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Morning.
♪ ♪
Freddie.
- Hey, what's up, Marcus?
- What's going on?
- All right, bye.
You got a lot going on.
[indistinct chatter]
- Yo, buddy.
- Hey, Josh, what's up?
- How's Keely's book coming?
- It's coming.
We got a title,
"Influencee to Influencer
"in 140 Easy Steps,
open parentheses,
"Really 141 Steps,
But Who's Counting?
Winky face emoji,
close parentheses."
- That's the whole title?
- Yeah.
- That's too long.
- You think?
- You know how well
these books do for us.
- Oh, yeah, you're really
carving out a new niche,
books for people
who don't read.
- Yeah, I'm gonna just move to
just straight-up picture books.
- Sorry to interrupt,
but Trae Lang is here.
Should I grab him?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
This is
the Colombia grad student
I was telling you about.
Did you read his book?
- No, Marcus, I--
the last afro-futurism book
that you foisted upon me
sold shit.
- Come on, it wasn't that bad.
And besides, this one for them,
one for me model,
doesn't really work
if I never get one for me.
- Can you just, like,
summarize it for me?
Like, half a page.
- Sure, okay.
- Cool.
♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Damn, white people wilding
around here, huh?
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
- Trae.
Marcus Watkins.
- What's up, Marcus Watkins?
- All right.
I gotta tell you,
I've been really looking
forward to this meeting.
- How come you got no brothers
on the wall?
Do the right thing.
- Oh, yeah, right, Sal's.
Yeah, that's funny.
- Dude, I'm fucking with you.
You got plenty
of Black people up there.
So what are you,
head of the urban division?
- I try to create
more opportunities
for writers of color, sure.
But what I loved about you
is that you're young
and honest and, man,
your writing is so visceral.
I think together
we can refine it.
- That's crazy--so now they got
Black dudes telling me
it's too Black
instead of white guys.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, I didn't say all that.
I didn't say it was too Black.
- Dude, I'm not dumb.
I know what "refined"
is code for.
- All right, let me explain
what I can do for you.
My job is
to nurture your vision
and ultimately
to fight for you.
We just have to get it
in shape first.
- So you're a fighter?
- Yeah, I'd say so.
- I'd say you're the middleman.
Like, dude, I'm not trying
to insult you--I get it.
We need guys like you
to translate guys like me.
- I'm sorry, guys like me?
- Come on, Barack.
Safe, non-threatening.
Al Roker, LeVar Burton,
Samuel L. Jackson.
- Samuel L. Jackson?
Non-threatening?
- Dude, you think you get to go
from "Pulp Fiction"
to Capital One if you
really scare white people?
- Okay, I'd like to talk
about the book.
- See, that's just it, man.
I say crazy shit all the time.
And if you wanna be my editor,
you gotta be ready
to spar with me.
- Okay.
Look, you are
genuinely talented.
And this is a good manuscript
that could be a great book.
But you've obviously
come in here
with some preconceived notions
about who I am
and what I do and how I do it.
Now, I'm gonna be honest
with you.
No one is gonna buy this book,
including this company,
the way that it is.
But if you are willing
to pull up your sleeves
and do the work,
we can get it there.
- Classic Obama.
- Well, look, man, I'm just
trying to be real with you.
Huh?
I thought you liked to spar.
- Yeah, whatever,
uh, Marcus Watkins,
I think this meeting is over.
I'ma go meet
with the other editors
I gotta meet with today.
- Okay, that's fine.
Good luck finding one
that will publish
a 1,000-page book
from an unknown author.
Fuck y'all looking at?
- That's a pretty hot
Sam Jackson take.
I ain't gon' hold you up.
- The kid's a fucking nut.
- Yeah, but that's
what you do, bro.
You're the nut gatherer,
dealing with these nutty ass
writers, man.
- I tried to dap him up,
and he goes with this
white guy business handshake.
- No dap, he we went
for the graduation handshake?
- Yeah, I mean,
like I'm some kind of square
that can't dap you up.
- Yeah, man, sound like
he hit you with the crossover
straight to the basket.
Everybody so used to vying
for your approval,
and now you're vying for his.
- Yeah, bro,
you should be a psychiatrist.
- I should be a psychiatrist,
dealing with your little
weak ass problems.
- I can't believe this kid
didn't dap me up.
- Hold on, hold on one second.
Hold that thought.
Hold that thought.
Yo, yo, it's Yogi.
Ah!
Mr. DiMarzio, how are you, man?
Nothing, man,
chilling right here
with Carmelo and Kristaps.
wondering why you ain't got
the 2017 sweet.
2017 is our year.
Uh-huh, full of linguini,
just like you like it.
Ahh, my pasta brother.
All right, man,
I'll talk to you soon.
Tell your wife I said hello.
All right.
Big bitch--hello.
- Yo, I thought
you sold luxury boxes.
It sounds like you got demoted
to concessions.
- Bro, they love pasta.
I don't know what it is, bruh.
This motherfucker,
he don't even watch the game.
All he do is eat the linguini,
the long ass ones, too.
Him and his wife be doing
the little...
[slurps]
And then they kiss.
Anyway, look, bro,
I'm trying to tell you.
Don't let this dude
get you off your square.
Like, bro,
you know what you are.
You know who you are, man.
You're a happy dude.
You're successful.
He's not, fuck 'im.
- Man, you're right.
You're right.
Man, fuck Trae,
small ass child.
Yeah, he's shorter than me,
and, like, I'm not tall,
you know.
- [sighs]
[phone buzzes]
Give me a scratch.
Okay, I'm good.
Thank you.
It's so funny how
the scratching feels amazing,
and then the second it's
too much, it's like, ahh, stop.
And also, will you
put a carrot in my ass?
- Hmm?
Sorry.
Sorry, work stuff.
Can I ask you something?
- What?
- Who am I like?
- Who are you like?
- Yeah, like,
who do you I remind you of?
Who am I similar to?
A celebrity, if that helps,
a Black celebrity.
- Is this a trap?
- No.
No, I was just trying
to narrow it down for you.
- I mean, I know
this is really obvious,
especially since we met
right around inauguration,
but I have to say Obama.
- Really?
Why?
- He's so smart
and, like, poised.
He unifies people, you know?
He never gets angry.
He always keeps his cool.
- Thanks.
- Are you mad?
- No, no.
- I think being compared
to the president
is a huge compliment.
- And it is.
It--it totally is.
- This was your idea.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- So I haven't thought
about this in years,
but I know
who else you remind me of.
- Who?
- I had the biggest crush
on him when I was a kid,
the "Reading Rainbow" guy.
And I remember
he had an earring, too,
and that just blew my mind.
You've never thought about
getting an earning, right?
narrator: Marcus knew
Mia was in a relationship...
[phone dings]
But he was, too, so really,
what was the harm
in them continuing to talk?
[Dionne Warwick's
"You're Gonna Need Me"]
- ♪ Mmm, you're gonna want me
back in your arms ♪
- Hey, asshole, move!
- ♪ One day, one day ♪
♪ You're gonna want me back ♪
narrator: Hiding
in the plausible deniability
of their "friendship,"
Marcus was able to converse
with Mia constantly.
- I issued a very formal
apology on my YouTube channel.
[phone vibrating]
Like, I talked about it
honestly ad nauseam
for, like, an hour,
and most of my videos are only
like 30 minutes,
so I feel like--I don't know.
This is my happiness,
this is my chance,
this is my opportunity
to, like, reclaim that.
Like, "Keely,
she's just like us."
I don't know, I'm just like, do
I need to keep bringing it up
and, like, hashing it out
in this book?
narrator: He took her apparent
reciprocity as a sign
that the relationship
she was in
had just as many cracks
as his own.
- Can I get a Greek salad?
- I'd like the chicken Caesar,
but sub broccoli for chicken.
- Yo, what the fuck?
- What?
Don't worry about it.
- Sub broccoli for chicken
on a chicken Caesar?
- Don't worry about it.
Yes, it's the Caesar taste,
but I want it
a little more green.
- She just wants
a bag of roughage.
- I would really love
your finest bag of roughage.
Thank you.
- Wow.
- Well, now it's like
a whole thing where there are
two Black people arguing
about vegetables in the store.
narrator: For years, Emily's
regular night shifts at Maeve
had afforded both her
and Marcus an autonomy
that each of them
had always tried
to reinforce
with a mutual trust.
Marcus had,
on multiple occasions,
tested that trust with
so-called "harmless crushes."
Technically, though,
he'd never crossed the line.
- Hey, I thought you had
the night off.
- No, I'll be back late.
Tiffany's out sick,
and we're short-staffed.
- All good, have a good night.
- You, too.
- ♪ In your arms ♪
♪ You're gonna need me
one day ♪
♪ You're gonna want me back ♪
narrator:
But this time around,
Mia was the only thing
he could think about.
- ♪ Tell me who's gonna take ♪
♪ The heartbreak I took ♪
♪ And still be there ♪
♪ At the close of the book ♪
♪ When you've grown older ♪
♪ And lost your way ♪
♪ And all your rainbows ♪
[phone dings]
♪ Have turned to gray ♪
♪ You better stop ♪
♪ And think
about what you're doing ♪
♪ You better stop ♪
♪ And think about
what you're doing ♪
♪ Well, give a little back ♪
♪ Of what you've been taking ♪
♪ You better start
being real ♪
♪ And stop your faking ♪
♪ You better
prepare yourself ♪
♪ Ooh, for that rainy day ♪
♪ You better
throw a little-- ♪
- Hey, sorry I'm late.
- Oh, just 35 minutes,
no worries.
- Wow, you're calling me out
with specifics.
- You look good.
- I'm coming from something
else, so don't read into it.
♪ ♪
- So how long
is the boyfriend gone?
- He's always out of town
for work.
We're basically long-distance.
- Oh, man, how's that going?
- It is going.
Where's your girl?
- She's working tonight.
- She know we're hanging out?
- Okay, what are you
trying to do me?
- I'm just curious.
- This isn't, like, illicit.
You said it yourself,
we're just hanging.
- Exactly.
So how long
you guys been married?
- Four years, but we've been
together since grad school.
And, you know...
I-I do feel guilty being here.
- You should.
- What about you?
- My situation is different.
- How so?
- Cause it's my business,.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
So before Emily,
you ever dated a Black woman?
- Oh, snap.
We doing this now?
- We are, yeah.
- All right.
Yeah, I mean,
I've dated Black women.
- You ever been in a long-term
relationship with one?
That's what I thought.
- All right, all right,
all right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I know what you're thinking,
but I'm not that guy.
I always thought
that I would marry a Black
woman somewhere down the line,
but then I just ended up
with Emily, so...
- That's really romantic.
- Come on, I don't know.
Mia, I'm sure I have my issues,
but I guess deep down,
I was always afraid
of fucking it up with them.
♪ ♪
- Would you fuck
things up with me?
♪ ♪
- You're fucking flirting, man.
- [laughs]
Yeah.
[laughter]
♪ ♪
It's a habit.
♪ ♪
- You know, honestly,
I haven't been
in that many relationships,
period.
Like, there was high school,
and there was college,
and then there was Emily,
so...
- Mister Monogamy.
Well, kind of.
- Okay, seriously,
what is wrong with you?
- [laughs]
I'm fucking with you, sorry.
I mean, we're obviously
both just bored,
so we might as well have fun.
♪ ♪
- I'm hungry.
You hungry?
[upbeat music]
You probably can't
sub for broccoli here.
- You know what?
Just for that, I'm asking.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
♪ ♪
- Two more vodka DCs,
AKA diet cokes,
flying at you.
- Yeah, you almost made
it sound like a real drink.
- It is.
- Your parents are
really attractive.
- Oh, I know.
It's probably
why they got divorced
and then married
a couple uggos.
One hottie per household.
♪ ♪
- Oh, this hadn't
occurred to me
when I sat here,
I swear to God.
- Yeah, who sits in the middle
of someone's couch?
- Well, you have
all these pillows and all,
like, expensive-looking.
- Really?
But there's just so much space.
You can move a pillow.
- I know, but I mean, yeah.
I probably could have, yeah.
- Empower yourself.
♪ ♪
- So what do your parents do?
- My mom is a loan manager
at the Bank of Maryland.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
And my dad owns six Popeyes.
- Yo, what?
- Yeah, everyone
reacts like that, I know.
My mom gave my dad the loan
for his first Popeyes.
- Oh, whoa.
- And then he left her.
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
It's trifling, right?
- I was, like,
am I gonna go live right now?
And I did.
He fucking left her.
♪ ♪
- Do you want me to move over?
- You can do whatever you want.
♪ ♪
- I should probably head home.
♪ ♪
- I have an early morning.
- Yeah, I have
an earlier morning.
- This was fun.
- Yeah.
- Good stuff.
- Yeah, great stuff.
- Okay.
- Okay.
♪ ♪
- Bye.
- Bye.
[door closes]
♪ ♪
- There is a problem--
- What did I do?
- Mm, hi.
- Hey, I thought
you hated this show.
- What time is it?
Is it super late?
- Kinda, last-minute dinner
with some agents,
and then we out and got
some drinks afterwards, so...
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I didn't text you.
Was work alright?
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just--just tired.
- Okay, good night.
- Good night.
- [shouts]
- Yes.
Here, bro.
Don't chug it.
It's vodka.
- You ever give him
the wrong sippy cup?
- Yeah, mm-hmm, one time.
He threw it right up, too.
His first drink, man.
There you go, sweetheart.
Armbar!
- Hey.
- It's okay, it's okay.
- So what's up?
Somebody called you Van Jones?
- No--
- But you're Marcus.
I'll kick somebody's ass, bro.
- No.
I meet someone else?
I think.
- What do you mean you think,
unless it's a ghost?
- No, like it might
be something real,
even though
she has a boyfriend.
- Oh, my God, are you serious?
Bro, that's why I don't even
leave the house, man,
shit like that.
I do my little errands.
I do shit with the kids.
And I go home, man.
That's just too messy.
What are you doing?
- Okay, but can I show you
a picture of this girl?
- No, mm-mm, then you make
me like her,
then I'm thinking about her.
No, I don't even
wanna be a part of it.
- All right, here we go.
- Lemme see, hurry, up.
Oh, damn!
- Yeah.
- Bro, what are you
even worried about?
You have no chance
with this girl.
- All right, all right.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, you let me see.
Now let me live.
Now I'm invested.
Yogi's approval.
Lemme see--oh, PG County.
She went to Spelman?
She makes more money than you.
- How do you know
she makes more money than me?
- I can just tell,
that smooth ass forehead,
that nose, those teeth.
You just know she probably bite
her apples real smooth.
Yep, she got insurance.
Like, bro, what are you
really doing right now?
Like, Emily, that's your speed.
She don't mind your little,
low five-figure salary
that you're putting up.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
high five figures.
It's mid to high five figures.
- It's low.
- But I don't think that Mia
cares about that either.
I mean, even though
it doesn't really matter
because we're technically
just friends.
- Oh, "we're just friends."
You always show me your friends
on social media,
huh, and they always be fine
as hell like that.
Are you not happy with Emily?
- I don't know, man.
Everything is just fucking off.
Like, I just--I don't feel
that spark anymore.
- All right, so let me
ask you a question.
When's the last time y'all did,
like, a romantic getaway?
Like, me and Tina, we do, like,
a little Catskills weekend--
- Bro, the fucking mountains
are not gonna fix this.
I feel like I can't show her
who I really am.
- Okay, Spider-Man, like,
what are you talking about?
- No, I'm serious!
We fell in love with these
versions of each other, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- And now the dust is settled.
And, bro, we're just us.
- Bro, you sound like one of
them white ass books
you be selling, man.
What are you talking about?
You know you gotta work
at this shit, right?
Like, make
the happiness happen.
I'ma tell you something
that you might not wanna hear.
This Mia shit,
shut it down, bro.
Shut it down, man.
Go home to your wife, bro.
- Yeah, you--
yeah, you're right.
You're right.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're totally right.
- I know I'm right.
That's what's up, baby, yes!
There you go!
There you go!
[line trilling]
- Hey, what's up?
- Yo, how you feeling today?
- Honestly,
I'm pretty hungover.
I think I'm just gonna
take it easy,
get in the bath,
crawl into bed.
I don't know, you?
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Is that soup up yet?
Thank you.
All right, I'll take an Advil.
And do you have anything else
that's good for a hangover?
Dope.
Yo, hold that door.
♪ ♪
- Can I help you?
- Amar'e Stoudemire?
- Bingo.
- Who is it?
- Babe, you ordered food?
- No.
- Postmates.
- Okay.
Huh, yo, Gatorade.
My man, I appreciate that.
- All right.
- [chuckles]
narrator: All Marcus could
think was thank God
he hadn't risked everything
for someone so utterly
out of his league.
At least now he knew.
And a distinct focus
washed over him.
Marcus had been acting crazy.
He had always loved Emily.
Sure, they'd been
on autopilot for a while.
But what couple hasn't had
their rough patches?
- Hey.
♪ ♪
What's wrong?
♪ ♪
- "The first year I brought her
home to Michigan for Christmas,
"she said the yams
were too spicy.
So my family still
just calls her 'Spicy.'"
- Em--
- Hang on, I'm just scrolling
through a bunch
of pictures of
"ugly white babies."
- Em--
- "Sorry,
I know I'm being mean.
This is just my only outlet."
Oh, and how about these?
From literally the middle of
the fucking night last night.
♪ ♪
"I don't think
she understands me.
You understand me
better than my own wife."
And then...
[sniffles]
"I shouldn't have
gotten married so young.
I feel stuck."
♪ ♪
[quiet indistinct vocalizing]