Love Island (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 5 - Episode #4.5 - full transcript

Welcome to
Love Island USA week one recap,

where you get to
see all the hot moments

from this week's episodes
of Love Island USA.

It's good to be on your back...

I mean, it's good to be back.

After all,
hot people yelling ‘whoo'

is a natural anti-depressant.

Hello, girls.

Welcome to Love Island.

The new girls came in hot.

Oh, shit.



Every Saturday
on Peacock, you get the goods.

Let's do this.
Come, on.

Boys. Boys. Boys. Boys.

Wow.
I mean, God Bless America.

No menu needed.

We only serve hot bodies
a side of "Oh, no, they didn't."

Fair warning,
it gets pretty sexy.

Cue the montage.

Grinding on the lap of someone

you've just met reminds me
of my childhood Labrador.

R.I.P. Spot.

My leg never saw it coming.

My God!

It's the Love Island USA recap.



Season four, baby.
Yeah.

Take a look at this stunning
Santa Barbara villa.

I mean, look at this place.

I wonder
if they have extra rooms

for a devilish
handsome view artist because...

I want to go there.

Will all the beds still be

two feet apart in one long room?

Oh, thank God.
What are our Islanders

without too much personal
space this season.

Phew.

Oh, my favorite part:
The Jeep squeal.

The California sun is so hot,

the girls risk getting
a nasty burn on their cheeks.

Good job they didn't sit down.

First up is Deb and Sereniti.

Deb seemed prepared.

Oh, yeah.
I forgot to put on underwear.

Oh.

My name is Deb Chubb.
I'm 26.

I live in Redondo Beach,
California,

and I've been
single for so long,

that if I don't find love here,
I'm becoming an a nun.

A nun. Fuck.

Love island, you better
find me some freakin' love.

Shut up!

This is so freakin' amazing.

- Champagne!
- Ah!

You want to pop it?

Hit it.

Now for Sereniti,

she's looking
for love and booze.

That always works out.

All right!

Let's loosen up, guys.
We're in Hawaii!

I'm Sereniti.
I'm 28 years old.

I was raised
in a very small town,

where there was not many
girls that looked like me.

So, I never thought
I was pretty.

You know
when they say you're short

or not attractive,
you're like, funny?

Now I'm like, funny
and, like, kind of cute.

I stopped being
the second player,

I'm number one now, baby.

Then we met Sydney,
who helped fulfill our

diversity requirement
of one sassy ginger.

We'd have more, but we didn't

have the sunblock
budget for that.

Oh, my God. Stop it.

You are gorgeous, baby.

My name is Sydney.
I'm 22 years old.

I'm from Houston, Texas.

My best friends would
describe me as savage,

spontaneous, funny as fuck.
Can you cuss on Love Island?

Oh, perfect.

I feel like I have the
worst experience with men.

They always wanna
hook up with a redhead,

but none of them
wanna cuff a redhead.

I don't know if
I'm too much for them.

If they
don't compliment you every day.

I'm not needy, but like...
It takes a lot to piss me off.

But, like, if you do, like,
I will verbally annihilate you.

But other than that,
I'm super nice.

How long have you been single?

- What happened?
- Give us all the deets.

The relationship got kind
of toxic towards the end,

and obviously
I immediately cut it off

and I just haven't looked back.

- Do you still talk to him?
- Fuck no.

- Good.
- Great answer.

Then we met Zeta.
She's from England.

The country you
probably think I'm from

because Americans
think we're all the same.

Thanks, guys.

I'm Zeta. I'm 29 years old.

I'm from London and I
am here to find my husband.

I really love being a Brit.
But being a Brit in America,

definitely very interesting.

I can't say like,
Oh, can have a cup of water?

They're like what you saying?
Now, I literally say,

Can I have water?

And then Courtney arrived.

She's from Florida,
and that's all you need to know.

My name is Courtney. I'm 24.

I'm originally from Florida,
and I'm a stylist.

Wow.

I am super bubbly.
I love to laugh.

I have a very raunchy
sense of humor.

I'm kind of working on trying
not to saying things right

when they come to my head
because it's like word vomit.

Yes. Of course, not.

Whatever the fuck you want.

Three cheers now four
cheers to our Islander girls.

Casting you nailed it again.

I can't wait to watch them
fall in love, laugh, cry,

scream and jog in bathing suits.

You are welcome, America.
Five fantastic girls.

And here's another one for you.

The host of Love Island,
Sarah Hyland.

Hello, girls.

Welcome to Love Island.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Are you ready to meet some boys?

Yes.

When the men started arriving,

the first coupling
ceremony began.

- Okay. He's cute.
- Oh, my goodness.

Andy showed up first.

We're feeling good right now.
My name's Andy.

I'm from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

I'm Minnesota nice. Ope
is such a staple in Minnesota?

The word Ope comes out of my
mouth probably 50 times a day.

I sense
a drinking game coming on.

- Ope.
- Every time Andy says

Ope, I get to drink.

- Ope.
- That's me.

- Drink time.
- I mean, it's ope,

let me sneak right by you.

You're gonna hear it
all night long: Ope.

- Drink time.
- You know, looks wise.

I've definitely had
to type in the past.

A tan, blond, athletic,
a nice ass and nice legs.

In the bedroom,
I love when they say Daddy.

You call me Daddy,
it's game over. Ope.

Drink.

Now that I'm well-hydrated,

let's show you what happened

at the first coupling ceremony.

Okay, girls.

If Andy is your type.

Then step forward.

Sereniti
stepped forward for Andy.

But ope there it is,
Andy picked Courtney.

- You're beautiful.
- Thank you.

Sereniti not now, I guess.

Timmy came second.

Oh, he's fine.

Definitely Love Island, my God!

Timmy is a real estate agent

and personal trainer.
The perfect guy to meet

if you're out of
shape and homeless.

Who is Timmy Square?
I mean, if you're asking me-

mind your business.

I love words.
Wordplay, metaphors,

similes, entendres, all of that.

Be yourself. Don't g yourself.

Like me how you see yourself.
Me yourself.

I just said me yourself.
Got to catch up to that.

- I'll step forward.
- She's already falling for you.

Sydney and Zeta
both stepped forward Timmy.

Clearly they have
heard his poetry before.

And Timmy picks Zeta.
Chin up, Sydney.

Every journey of love
begins with one step,

that nearly breaks your ankle.

Then we met Isaiah.

Love the dangly earrings.

Got to watch out for that one.

Hey, Isaiah.
What are you all about?

- I'm all about a great time.
- Do you give a fuck?

Yeah, I don't...
I don't give a fuck.

My name is Isaiah.
I am 21 years old

from South Dakota,
and I'm a waiter.

I'm the life of the party.

I'm usually the person
who has a drink up in the air.

Kind of just throwing
my hips around.

If you're trying to dance,
I ain't gonna hate on you.

I'm gonna try and join you.

I want someone I'm
excited to come home to.

I'd just like someone that
would like to flirt with me

while we're making supper.
Someone that-

Sorry, I have goose bumps.

I'm super open for love,
for sure.

The other day,
that's what it's about.

Well, let's see if
Sydney can stick the landing.

And she's good.

So, Isaiah, you can choose
any of the five girls.

Who are you going to pick?

Deb and
Sydney both step forward.

Isaiah picks Sydney.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- How's it going?

Then Jesse walked in.

Wow. Wow.
I mean, God bless America.

Let's just say he knows

what to do with
a stranger's package.

My name's Jesse Bray,
27 years old,

from Houston, Texas.
I deliver packages for a living.

Oh. Oh, this is dope, man.

My grandmother
and my mom raised me,

and that just made me
care for women differently.

We're not having
sex on the first night.

Maybe the second night.

You can choose any of the girls
to couple up with.

Okay.

Deb stepped forward
and Jesse picked Deb.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, my goodness.

And then there was Felipe.

- Oh, my goodness.
- How are you guys doing?

We brought in
the Brazilian model

to the love island.
You know,

so all the Brazilian models
watching at home could relate.

My name is Felipe.
I'm 32 years old,

and I'm a model from Brazil.

Sex is 95% of the
relationship for me.

If you don't get
connection in the bed,

I don't think so the rest can
survive in your relationship.

I'm excited to go to the villa.

I don't care about the guys,
just the girls.

I'm going to fall in love. No.

Is it good news?

So, Philippe,
Sereniti, stepped forward.

I'm going for her.

I think he's happy.
I didn't even have to ask.

That part
is always so nerve wracking.

Let's recap who coupled
up with who, shall we?

We've got Andy and Courtney.

Timmy and Zeta.

Isaiah and Sydney.

Jesse and Deb.

Felipe and Sereniti, a.k.a.
Seripe.

All the new couples
seem to be hitting it off.

I am a realtor, so I sell homes

and then my business
partner is actually my mother.

Well, most of them.

She also is probably
my best friend.

- I frigging love her.
- Yes.

Yes.

Think happy thoughts, Andy.

Rose petals on a bed.
Champagne and strawberries.

Basically, the opposite of
my mommy is my best friend.

She's going to eat
that person alive.

All our Islanders got
settled into their new home

and started getting
ready for the evening.

- Yeah.
- Cute.

That looks so good on you.

Ain't no plug in over here.

I think so.
In just that you're ginger.

- Yeah.
- Are you-Are you naturally?

- Yeah. My vag is orange.
- Really?

My crotch is also orange,

but it's only because I'm
reckless with cheesy snacks.

Orange you glad we casted her?

Gang. Gang, gang.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Good luck, Love islanders.

May the Law of Attraction
be ever in your favor.

Welcome back to this
week's Love Island USA recap.

Santa Barbara, a quaint
and classy coastal town

that we're not treating
in a quaint and classy way.

Oh.

The islanders had
to get to know each other.

My idea was psychedelics,

but the producers
had a different idea.

Called suck and blow.

Here's Tammy and
Zeta proving their chemistry

and lactose intolerance.

It was a nice kiss.
Is a cool kiss.

No pun intended.

Felipe had a double
make out with Courtney and Zeta,

which is really another example
of Brazilian athleticism.

Spicey.

Courtney for me,
she was a bit shy.

And then she changed my mind.

- Boom.
- Oh.

Then Jesse decided
to donate his shirt to charity

and celebrate his philanthropy

with a Deb orientated
striptease.

So, kind.

Definitely had me
a little out of character.

That's something I wouldn't
do on a typical day.

Oh.

Put it in your mouth.

Then
Isaiah sucked Sydney's finger

without breaking eye contact.

According to the Irish,
sucking a red head's finger

is one year of good luck.

Seven, if you do the tall one.

They should call this move,
the horny popsicle.

That was a first for me.

Then, Courtney lost every ring,

and Andy was like,
I'll help you find it.

Because suck and blow
is also about friendship.

Oh, my god.

I'm so sorry to my nanny
and both of my parents.

Oh, my god.

After they took suck
and blowing off their to do list

there was only
one remaining task.

The gushing.

Over how much they
fancy the boys.

I'm actually attracted
to every guy here.

- They're all so attractive.
- They're all so hot.

That Felipe, yeah.
He looks like he could

throw me around a little bit.
I like that.

I chose to stay
Jesse number one,

I truly have not
talked to anyone else.

Speak it.

And our apologies
to any dogs watching

who found Deb's
squeal a bit much.

Is that a text?

Now to a fateful text

that saw
two boys hatch a roaming plan.

Switch up, double trouble.

- Switch up, double trouble.
- You got it.

Timmy received
a text inviting two of the boys

out on a date with
two surprise bombshells.

The guys decided
that Jesse and Felipe

should go on the date.
While the other three

distracted the
girls on the balcony.

- So, that Jessie and Felipe...
- Hey baby.

Could sneak out of
the villa to go on their dates.

Sneaky, sneaky.

- Have you all seen Felipe?
- Wait, where did they go?

- No, we...
- They are on dates right now.

- Oh.
- Wait. What?

- They, what?
- Oh.

Sereniti is either
very upset with Felipe,

or has been playing fast and
loose with disco tikka masala.

Oh, well, go on then.

This is Love Island, after all.

I have a feeling there will be
another 12 hour relationship

in your near future.

Because Love Island
dropped a bomb...

Two of them, to be exact.
Mady and Valerie.

I'm Mady, and I'm here
to find the love of my life.

I can't wait to get into the
villa because I love to kiss.

So watch out, boys.

Hey, I'm Valerie. I'm from
Costa Rica. I have no filter.

I do what I want.
I say what I want to say.

And, honestly I'm not worried
what people think about me.

Cheers. To our first
night in the villa.

These are two very
gorgeous girls.

I feel like I should be the one
to welcome them into the villa.

I want to shoot my shot first.

- What are your signs?
- Taurus.

Taurus. Okay. Okay.

A lot of guys that I ever liked
have been taurus.

I actually got some,
you know, photographic.

- Oh. My God.
- Holy shit.

- They're really cute.
- Yeah.

- Another blonde.
- Alright!

Another blonde.

Fuck.

So you guys have
a certain particular type

that you guys go for?

I'm really just
looking for someone

who, you know, pursues me.

She just looks
like her extensions

are in better than mine.

For me, I would say
I'm a sucker for tattoos.

-Yeah,
-Sure. I mean-

- Yeah.
- Kind of like part of me too,

I would say.

How many tattoos do you have?

Like three or four-
You got tattoos?

- Three or four.
- Yeah, about three or four.

Three or four like,
giant size, you know, like...

- Do you have any?
- I have only one.

And no one can see.

It's on my hips.

Okay. Okay.

- Maybe one of us would be.
- Yeah.

Jessie heads off with Mady.

He's on a blonde
ambition tour himself.

And Val and Felipe
seem to get along,

but it's unclear if Felipe's

-dreaming of 'Valifornication.'
-Oh, my God.

That is right.

I want to hear
how their dates went.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Then you guys
took the girls back to the villa

to meet the rest
of the islanders.

- How are y'all?
- Good.

- How are you?
- I'm great.

And almost everyone
was excited to meet them.

The new girls came in hot.

I'm Valerie, nice to meet you.

They're gorgeous,
like flawless skin.

Let's head over to the fire pit.

- Let's go.
- Okay, let's go.

Mady, I feel like,
is my conjoined twin.

It's going to be interesting.

Do you have anyone that
you like from look wise?

Think you would have
picked to go on the date,

if you had your own choice?

Honestly,
I feel like everybody's, like,

-Ah,
-attractive.

- Safe answer.
- I know, I'm a...

If I were to go by type-type,

I usually go with
guys with tattoos.

Felipe has no tattoos.

I am a big personality person,

But first impression,
I'm going to say... Felipe.

Cute.

I feel like I look like her.

Yeah. Jessie,
I guess, definitely has a type.

Yeah? Yeah.
How are you feeling about it?

- Like honestly.
- I mean, I'm fine.

Like, I don't like...
I don't care.

-Yeah
-Like, I think it's all right.

Definitely, like little-

Can't just get all
the blondes you want.

Yeah.
Jesse, you can't just get

all the blondes you want.

This is Love Island,
not Norway Island.

But what you can't
get is a well-earned

commercial break or not.

Depends on your
subscription plan.

Good night!

Welcome back to the
Love Island USA Week one recap

And good morning, Santa Barbara.

Take a look at this stunning
Santa Barbara villa.

Beautiful enough to be
a rehab clinic for billionaires.

Funny, when I woke
up and there was

just like so many
shirtless boys.

Oh, my God. I saw Jesse's body
and I was like...

Jesse and Felipe.

Jesse's really cute.
Felipe's really cute.

Today is my actual first
full day in the villa.

I wanna talk to all the guys.

I definitely
have a couple in mind

that...
I'm kind of like, liking.

- Isaiah.
- He looks like trouble.

Yes, he wants to be trouble.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean? Like...

He's definitely
someone you have fun with.

Me and Sydney
had that one on one.

You kinda have to compare, bro.

That's what I'm going
to do for a little bit.

You know,
a lot of fish in the tank, bro.

After his
date with the new girls,

Felipe's still
coupled with Sereniti.

But like in church, when
you're aunty marries your dad,

she's confused as
to where she stands.

Did you get mad
about my date or no?

No, I wasn't mad
about your date.

I think I was just,
like, confused.

Between me and Sereniti.
Now, I feel like

I still don't know her much,

to be sure on which
stage we are at, you know?

And for me,
it's like if I said to the girls

and I feel one interested
in one of them,

I'm going to come to intimacy.

You know, like you don't
get that stress, you know?

No, no.

You know, so I like it that way.

But you can ask
to marry me, okay.

- Aw. I have to propose?
- You have to.

Oh, hell, no.

You propose to me.

Oh, my gosh. I got a text.

The Islanders
have a game to play.

Yes. They've jogged in
slo-mo in matching outfits.

Yes, the game is more about
gossip and doing naughty stuff

than actually winning.
Let's play ship happens.

Let's go.

This girl has hooking up with
other women on her bucket list.

Oh.

It just kept going.

One Mississippi,
two Mississippi,

okay five Mississippi,
six Mississippi.

Sydney.

Why not? Girls are hot.

This girl is so
wild in the bedroom

that she once even
broke her bed during sex.

And maybe they just thought

that she was the
answer to the challenge.

But, I don't know. Maybe there
was some other intention there.

Courtney.

Broke the bed.

We just started fucking,
like, really passionate.

- And caved in?
- Yeah. Boom.

Well, this boy cheated
on his girlfriend of six months

during a family
vacation in Mexico.

Back off, guy.
Like finders keepers, bitches.

Okay. Let's find out.

It's definitely not
something I'm proud of.

- Okay.
- Okay.

This boy once had a foursome
with him and three girls.

Sounds like a fun time.

Oh.

Raise your hand if you've
been kissed by Felipe.

Let me put my hand down,
obviously.

Before moving on,
let's recap who likes who.

Andy is coupled
up with Courtney.

But Courtney seems
to have eyes for Felipe.

Timmy and Zeta only
have eyes for each other.

I think it's legit.

Isaiah's coupled up with Sydney,

but we're already
seeing more red flags

than a communist parade-parade.

Felipe seems to have
friend zoned Sereniti

and is keeping his options open.

I don't know how
they're feeling after

she found out
I cheated on my ex-girlfriend.

That annoyed me.

Jesse is in a couple with Deb,

but with two new bombshells,
one of whom is blond,

he may be tempted to switch.

Because, like Pamela
Anderson's hairbrush,

Jesse only sees blonde.

Surprise.

She got a text.

I got a text.

Oh.

- She is serious, you know?
- I know.

Bombshell Valerie got
a text saying that both her

and Bombshell Mady
have the power to choose

which boys they want to steal.

It's like they're each
carrying a crowbar of love.

Tonight's decision
is going to be so hard.

There's two people
I'm really torn about.

I'm anxious. I have no idea.

I feel like this person
really took me by surprise.

We told you to expect surprises.

Fun fact, our first
working title for this show

was Surprise Island.

The boy that I would
like to couple up with is...

I thought California

was supposed to
be chill and laid back.

But it's day two in the villa
and I'm already biting my nails.

Welcome back to
Love Island USA week one recap,

where the fun never
ends or starts.

Depending on which
islander you ask.

- She got a text.
- I got a text.

Oh.

Oh, my god.

The big moment arrived.

Bombshell Valerie
and Maddy had to choose

who they wanted to couple up.

A.k.a.
steal from the other girls.

I want to couple
up with this boy

because I feel
like I've expressed

that I really want to be pursued

and I want someone to value
who I am as a person.

So, I feel like this person
really took me by surprise.

He's family oriented.

So, the boy that I would
like to couple up with is...

Andy.

Mady chose Andy.

Well, damn.

Courtney looked upset,

but she didn't even like Andy.

You don't know what you've
got until your cuddle buddy

is a neon pillow.

I would like to couple
up with this boy

because he is very handsome
and very confident.

He has pushed me to
go with what feels right

and trust my gut.

He doesn't feel like he's
intimidated by my presence.

This guy kind of came
around to me really unexpected.

We vibe on a similar level.

We kind of have
a similar personality.

That's one of the things
that attracts me to him.

But then, of course,
he's really freaking hot.

So, the boy, that I would
like to couple up with is...

Jesse.

Valerie chose Jesse.

Sorry, Deb.

The bombshells have
stolen their favorite guys

and the guys are very happy.

My gut,
I really feel like me and you,

- have a solid ass connection.
- I know.

It just-It feels good.

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

With Jesse, he
makes me feel so safe.

And the fact that
he makes me feel that way

so soon is, like, surprising.

Like, it just feels so,
like, so good.

I'm here to find

- the strongest connection.
- Exactly.

And I feel like...
By making this decision,

- that's what I'm doing.
- Yeah. For sure.

For sure. I'm so happy.

I'm definitely
in a pickle with Deb.

You know,
there's no denying the fact that

me and her share
strong connection.

But I think now
that I'm in a couple,

I'm going to definitely show
more attention to Valerie.

Just kind of reassure her,
you know, how I'm feeling.

You are so much more
than just being beautiful.

Your character and who you are

-is something-
-So sweet.

That really like
means a lot to me.

Yeah, I'm super excited

to get to know Mady
a little bit more.

I think me stepping out

and letting her know
what I'm feeling

was probably
the game changer there.

A lot of other guys
are gonna do this.

I love the confidence.

He's so genuine
and really sweet.

I'm going to say
he's like frozen custard.

These new couples
are happier than slaughter cows

that just got
kidnaped by vegans.

Well, Mady ain't mad at it.

Then there's Deb and
Courtney, our single ladies.

So sad.

Single women
with no cats to cry on.

It feels weird
to be newly single.

Kind of like...
I felt like Jesse and I

were slowly
starting to make progress.

So, I'm just kind of like, well,

back to square one.

Welcome back.

The islanders
are having a tough morning,

jumping in pools
and laying down on yoga mats.

Just grueling.
They need to unionize.

If yawning is
considered exercise,

I'm ready for my triathlon.

This confirms my suspicion.

Your guys just yawning

while very slowly
doing the YMCA dance.

Audible. Do it all.

Um...

- Audible.
- Audible.

Sereniti, now.

- Men ain't shit.
- Another one.

Men ain't shit.

- Men ain't shit.
- Men ain't shit.

Exactly. I needed that.
Thank you.

Felipe and Sereniti show us,

that while men ain't shit,

they can be friends.

I tried to kiss you last night
in the bed and say goodnight.

And they come. And I go...

- I'm so sorry.
- No. No. No.

I would never
reject one of those.

- This.
- We're friends.

Their relationship
is about as sexually charged

as the game of bingo at church.

But Felipe and Courtney
might be heating up.

You know, someone's into ya...

when they start talking

at a higher register, you know?

I could just feel this,
like, sexual tension.

Like, kind of.

I don't know. Did you feel that?

- I think... I know.
- I do.

- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- Like there's...
- He's gonna get there.

I know!
There's kinda something there,

but, like, we haven't
really talked, you know?

-The eyes talk more than
the words. -Yeah, right?

With Felipe, it's obviously,
like, sexual.

Like he is like, really hot.

I would like to end up like

sharing a bed with him. And...

Yeah, just getting
to know him more.

I really wanted to do this.

So I just need you to do it.

Timmy and
Zeta had their first kiss.

By the way, making
out with a British nanny

would be a terrific
sequel to Mary Poppins

and a terrible one
to Mrs. Doubtfire.

I feel like on top of the
Love Island villa, right now.

I'm going stay humble about it.

But like, obviously like,
I'm happy.

It feels really good.

Okay, Love Island
Fans, gather around the fire

We have our first love
triangle of the season.

Let's break it down

or it'll get more confusing
then drunk Sudoku.

As well all know Deb stepped
forward for Jesse on day one.

He picked her.

But then bombshell
Mady showed up.

Jesse was into her too.

But much like an Orange
County hair salon,

he loves blondes.

But the other bombshell,
Val chose him.

Wish you had Jesse's girl.

Jesse doesn't because
Val isn't blond.

But Deb is and she's more
single than the last French fry

you leave on your
plate to make it appear

like you have self-control.

I kind of... Obviously,

I don't want to hurt
his feelings and all that.

I'm just like,
it's like almost have two.

And I'm obviously in
a sticky situation with Val

and it sucks.

But now that I've sat with it
and thought about it

and actually have seen them
getting on and like,

Oh, I might like him.

I might wanna
see where it could go.

Then it was time
for the islanders to play

a little game called Yell
at The Cleaning Lady where...

I'm no here.
Got scrapped by our PR team.

They played truth or dare.

And it's guys against girls.

- Felipe, truth or dare.
- Dare.

I dare you to pick
the girl of your choice

and make out with her.

Felipe kisses Courtney.

Oh.

Your welcome.

Nothing says
I'm in a weird relationship,

like shot gunning
a glass of wine.

Or collecting honey
off of Isiah's nipples.

- Oh.
- Lick it off.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.
I've gone on,

and I've licked Isaiah's nipple

and I'm like,

I should have held back a bit.

Holy shit.

That was a first for me.

I mean, getting honey
on the nipple was something else

with a little nibble, you know.

Like all over me.

Jesse's whipped
cream off Val's ass.

Lick it, baby.

That whipped
cream tasted really good.

Ah, you know, that ass
tasted pretty good as well.

You know I'm not going to lie.

- Jesse, truth or dare.
- Dare.

I dare you to kiss
all of the girls

and then say who
the best kisser is.

Jealousy?

Eat whipped
cream off of a girl's ass

and then kiss everyone.

We make our own luck
here at Love Island.

Jesse gets dared
to kiss every single girl there.

Like this motherfucker
gets seven bitches.

Okay! Okay!

Fuck. Like he's already
in a love triangle.

Like, don't give him, like, six.
Five more.

So out of everybody,
I did get a chance to kiss,

but I got to go with
Deb for the best one.

Oh, snap.

Jesse picked Deb
as the best kisser.

Then very wisely went back
for more, right in front of Val.

Like panther trying to
get into a cool nightclub,

Val looked rejected.

Stick around because
we got a fresh hot man bun

coming out of the oven.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

God damn Uncle Sam.

It's a Love
Island USA week one recap.

A lot happens in a week,
but we put it all in one episode

in case you've been held hostage
by a bank robber

or vengeful lover.

I'm Tyler.
I'm 23.

I'm from Cleveland, Ohio.
I have the confidence,

I have the hair,
I have the looks.

And I'm a Ph.D. student.

What more could you want.

Goof morning.

Oh, my gosh.

Rise and Shine Islanders.

We've got a wet morning surprise

for you and it ain't
soggy oatmeal day.

Hi.

There's a hottie in the pool.

- Tyler, nice to meet you.
- I'm Maddie, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Girls, wipe
the eye snot out of your face

and pretend you brushed your
teeth and say hello to Tyler.

It'll be nice later
when we're all put together,

because then he's, like, damn.

- Morning.
- Morning. Whoa.

Am I dreaming?

Oh, he's so hot.

'Sup, baby.
Take me out to dinner.

- How are we doing? Andy.
- Tyler. Nice to meet you, bro.

Guys, play it cool,
and pretend like Tyler

wasn't ripped from the dreams
of a woman's fairy tale.

- You look like Tarzan.
- Nailing it.

- Appreciate that.
- Golly!

Definitely got to step
my game with Tyler here.

Now the Islanders are
going to have a kissing contest.

Basically, everyone kisses
everyone and your trophy

is a well callused tongue.

Deb and Valorie
compete for Jesse's affection.

I've got to go to Madison.

Oh, I feel like
I'm just can't win right here.

Out of all the girls,
Jessie's 10,

seals the victory for Val.

Like that. That's hot.

God, I only have one word,
and it's damn.

That is like a 12 for me.

So, I guess a 10
is the highest it can go.

And out of
all the boys, Timmy wins it.

Good job Timmy.

Tyler took a moment to discuss

his potential love interest
with both of Jesse's ladies.

Hopefully, Tyler also shares
which Greek gods conceived him.

You know who you sniping first?

Deb, honestly.

But Val, after that kiss, bro,

was just like eye opening.

I was like, Whoa!

Oh!

Oh, yeah. You know,
Tyler's into Deb and Val.

So, if I don't
make a decision here soon,

he's definitely going
to swoop up on me.

And, you know, I don't
want him to choose for me.

Jesse must
moonlight as a taxi driver

because Val and
Deb started to suspect

he's just taking
them for a ride.

Zeta was telling me that
he ranks me,

like as his number one.
And so, I just want to like...

He told me,
he ranked me as his number one.

- Oh, he said that?
- Yeah.

That's interesting
because Zeta told me

that he literally said like
the exact same thing about me.

See, if he's telling you the
same thing, he's telling me,

it's like, okay,
how do we know which was true?

At the same time,
why would he be telling us

the same thing
in the first place?

Jesse grabs
Val and keeps trying to ski

two slopes at the same time,

and Val is a tree that
smashes him in the nuts.

First, I want
to know how you're feeling.

Yeah, I feel great.

I'm happy, you know,
to share a bed with you.

Be coupled up with you.
I mean, look at you.

You know what I mean?

- Do you mean that, though?
- Yes.

I said I need
to get to know you better.

And, you know,
we hit it off so fucking fast

and you really spark an engine,

come real fucking
fast like that.

I just honestly, I just didn't
come here to be in a trouple,

and I feel like that's
what I'm in right now.

A trouple?
A triangle or a trouple?

Like a trouple.
Like a three people couple.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
- That's...

That's what I feel like
I'm doing that.

Cause it's really odd
for me whenever I'm, like,

with the girls and
they all mention how much,

Oh, my God,
Jesse just likes Deb So much.

And then I literally just
had a conversation with her,

and she told me that you
told her that she's number one.

Why didn't you tell
me that from the beginning?

- I was honest with you.
- Because if I had known,

I wouldn't have like,
literally, like...

You wouldn't have picked me?

I feel like I was being lied to.

- That's how I feel right now.
- Mmhmm.

The other day you told me,
"I would pick you."

You said, "Yeah, I have
a strong connection with Deb,

but I would pick you."
You told me that.

I said me and Deb
have a strong connection.

It is definitely undeniable.

I know I told you
that's never going to change.

That's what I'm saying.
I wanna know where I stand.

And I want you
to be honest with me.

If I lead you on,
I'm truly sorry.

I don't mean to do that at all.

So now you're saying
you're coupled with her?

I am.

All right,
so that's all I need to know.

So, one day you feel one of us,

and then the other
day you feel the other one.

How the fuck does
that make sense?

Like, I feel like
he just definitely

just wasn't straight up.

Like, he's literally
just didn't have the balls

to say shit how it was.

I said, Bye Jesse.

I'm over it. Peace out.

On Sunday night,

it's decision time for one girl.

If he wants to
be with both of us,

- then you can have him.
- I'm not sloppy seconds.

While one boy is on the prowl.

I'm physically really,
really attracted to you.

- Likewise.
- It's kind of scary.

And the first recoupling

sends one islander packing.