Love Island (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 30 - Episode #4.30 - full transcript
Narrator Iain Stirling presents unseen clips and exclusive action from Week 5 in the villa.
Welcome to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
What's that I hear you cry?
You want all the hottest moments
from the island repackaged
into fun size portion?
Get ready for a journey
into the unexplored
side of the island.
Look how stupid they look.
It's a place where
you can learn new languages.
Observe the
locals and their customs.
We shaking our
dicks tonight, bro.
Let's do it, bro.
And witness
eating Red Bulls passed down
from generation to generation.
- Do I have to swallow it?
- We prefer swallow.
This is a place
where terrifying battles
can break out at any moment.
Just put the weapon down.
Still keen? Good.
Be happy. It's fun.
Then strap yourself in
and get ready for
another round of...
That was sexy, bro.
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
"Love Island USA"
hires teams of producers
to think of fun stuff
for the Islanders to do.
Making an obstacle course.
But sometimes the Islanders
produce their own games,
and those are the games
that end up on Unseen Bits.
One editor's trash is
another editor's treasure.
What is Deborah doing with them?
What is Deb doing?
I have no idea.
I am the camp counselor,
camp Deb of Camp Love Island.
I'm the COO,
the Chief Officer of Optimism,
and I am here and I
am in charge of the fun.
Forcing people to have fun?
I'm guessing Deb's a tourist.
She is.
Figures.
Come here.
We're playing a game.
We're joining
an obstacle course.
Be happy.
It's fun.
Here's my whistle.
We're playing
"The Floor is Casa".
"The Floor is Casa", nobody
wants to go back to Casa Amor,
so if you fall,
you have to start over
or else you have
to go back to Casa Amor.
Okay.
We're gonna do two teams.
You start in the chair.
You run across the moat.
You do five curls. You have
to jump over the orange pillow.
You have to get the tube
from one end to the other,
run over the bridge.
And once you touch
the orange couch,
then the next person can go.
If you touch the floor you
have to start over your bridge.
Me and Isaiah are team captains.
Okay, Ready?
Set, go!
- Oh!
- Go, go!
One, two, three, four, five...
Five, four,
three, two, one, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go!
Growing up, my parents wrapped
all their precious
furniture in cling film,
so this is very
triggering for me.
What I would have given for them
to wrap me in cling film!
How are we gonna do this?
That seems too hard.
-And Jesse,
-Yes, sir.
It is not that hard at all.
Go Timmy!
I've seen feral cats
in a touring glam rock band
be more respectful to furniture,
but mostly I'm jealous
of their joint dexterity.
I twist an angle if I try to
walk and smile at the same time.
Slow, slow and steady.
Slow, and steady.
You're in the front.
Take your time.
Go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go Jesse, go.
Go Jesse, go.
Come on Jesse!
Let's go!
Come on baby.
Go Kat!
Go Kat!
Uh, five.
Swap, shit!
- Oh!
- Oh!
That was never
a regulation couch touch.
Like I say to row
breakers at every orgy,
it won't be fun if
you don't follow the rules.
Yes, I did it!
My team lost.
Unfortunately.
My team was just... We
got the sportsmanship award.
But you know what they say?
Second place is just the first
loser, so we still got first...
just in losing.
Thanks for playing
"The Floor is Casa".
See you next week.
Deb, if I was an entrepreneur,
the first thing I do
is hire you to run a chain of
summer camps operated
outta failing furniture stores,
low in overheads, high in fun.
Yeah, I wanna take a shower.
The Unseen Bits
historians recently discovered
footage of Jesse's
study of the written word.
Lesson 287, words don't always
sound like they're spelled.
I don't feel like
that says Phoebe, bro.
Oh, yeah.
It always looks Fobe, bro.
That's right.
Yeah.
Like Phe,
how does the O make a E?
- I... I don't get that either.
- Is it silent?
It's gotta be.
Yours is O-E Joel and it's Joel.
We're talking about
how that says "Phoebe".
Jesse.
Everyone knows
it's because Phoebe
is the Latinized form of
the Greek name Phoibe,
derived from the Greek Phoebus,
meaning bright, shiny one.
Everyone knows that.
Uh, his girlfriend's
name was Phoebe.
- Really?
- Is it spelled like that?
- It's probably a guy's name.
- Really?
It's the first
Phoebe I've ever met.
There should be just F-B-E.
F-I-B, I mean,
but that'd be more Fibbe.
Just wait until Jesse finds out
how Colonel is spelled.
He's gonna flip a table.
Fibbe.
F-E-B-E-E.
What we just heard
from Chad wasn't Gibberish,
he was just saying Phoebe
in a language called Chadzain.
Yep. Between the German
making out sessions,
Chad and Isaiah
have also invented
a highly complex new language.
Luckily our camera
crew were sober enough
to capture its genesis.
That's it.
For context,
we auditioned over 25,000 boys,
and this is who made the cuts.
I went to the jungle and
I found a cuppy.
- Cuppy?
- A cuppy
Just fuck up!
New guy Joel is conflicted.
If he joins in,
he gains two new friends.
But he also loses his dignity.
Smart move, Joel.
Pretend you've finished dressing
and just walk away slowly.
A reminder.
Isaiah and Chad are considered
two of the most desirable
boys in the villa.
The remaining OG guys,
AKA the barbecue boys,
have been known to the audience,
producers and authorities
for a while Now.
So far, this scrappy
street crew's main activity
has been shouting "Barbecue
boys" at passersby.
But when a highly addictive
new liquid drug hit the streets,
everything changed.
Let's see what is now.
Come here.
I just think the barbecue boys,
it started off with
a common denominator
for the love of the BBQ,
but then it became
this whole metaphor to
how we rocking as the last OGs.
I love barbecue sauce.
The thing that's always held
us together is the barbecue.
BB Q.
Uhuh.
BB
Q.
I wish we could all wear
hats and put like BBQ on it.
Barbecue?
We could use a Sharpie
and write on those hats, bro.
And thus,
we have the origin story
of the barbecue boys
crime center kits.
Huh! Yeah.
It was good.
Barbecue swerve here.
Huh!
Master chef.
Number two, huh!
Zayway.
Huh!
Isaiah, top chef.
You heard?
You heard? Huh!
You know, number three,
last but not least.
You know, barbecue Jess.
Better known as sous chef.
You know,
we get shit popping like
bacon grease in the kitchen,
baby, wear it's hot.
Yeah. Barbecue boys.
You heard?
By writing on a hat,
the barbecue boys have
shown evidence of intent,
making them eligible for
a raft of federal RICO crimes.
Sing, sing, or bust, baby!
So we doing one squirt?
How many squirts?
One shot.
I'll put a shot.
One... one shot?
Yeah, one shot.
We all know.
Just one shot.
And you can't close your
mouths 'til the shot's done.
Um, we had our, you know,
barbecue sauce
in our shot bottle.
You know what I'm saying?
And if they did complete
the shot successfully,
we were gonna offer
them three services.
Plastic mafia move to me.
Stay loyal to our condiments
and we offer you protection.
Is it... is it second
B right in the middle?
I'm thinking... The B...
that's a second middle.
Zeta and
Deb are onto barbecue boys.
They know condiment danger
well before it squirts
them in their face.
Don't trust these men.
Take it from me,
are recovering
spicy Dijon addict.
- And what all they doing?
- I have no idea.
They've got... They're
writing on hats kinda thing.
We were... I think they're
trying to spray us with
barbecue sauce so that's
why I got the moose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
we just got spice shit up, bro.
Well, we've been
in kitchen way too long.
These are the barbecue boys?
- Is that the barbecue boys?
- Of shit!
- The barbecue boys?
- They're out.
What are you guys doing?
- We're bored.
- We are the barbecue boys...
and, um, we've been in the
kitchen for some time now.
We just wanted to
give out some spice.
Well
it's hard to always
talk about your feelings.
Falling in love is
very exhausting so...
so sometimes you
have to go on missions.
Yeah. You have to
become a double agent.
Federal agents
Zeta and Deb are on a stakeout.
To return justice to the villa.
Sadly, they can't save everyone.
Chanse is the first victim.
We-we have very for you.
Lean that hair back.
Now, you cannot close your mouth
until the full shot hit a raft.
Look at the porn shit.
Are they initiating?
The barbecue
boys squirts terror directly
into the hearts of the innocent,
or on to the chicken fingers.
They have no conscience.
They don't care
where the sauce goes
or whose white
t-shirt they stain.
Look how stupid they look?
It is stupid, Deb,
and barbecue sauce
is a gateway drug.
It never ends well.
I've got a friend
doing a 10 to 15 stretch
for being an international
mustard smuggler.
We appreciate your part.
Welcome to the club.
I wish Jesse had a yellow hat
so they could be ketchup,
marinades and mustard.
Do I have to swallow?
We prefer a swallow.
Spit is for quitters.
Spitting is for
fucking quitters.
- We are...
- Oh!
Is she gonna open her mouth?
She's not gonna do it.
Ready?
Put it slow.
And that's the full.
That's it!
It's just like a kinky thing?
3, 2, 1 go!
He's gonna do it.
He's gonna do it.
Chad, we would like
to service you, bro.
- Fuck, no!
- Please.
Can you give for one second?
I closed my eyes for 10 seconds.
Are we sure we wanna
be with Timmy and Jesse?
You can't get out now Zeta,
you're in too deep.
Remember kids,
if the barbecue boys offer
you the time of your life,
it could also be
the end of your life.
Just say no.
One sport is all it takes.
And one short break
is all it takes,
but we are back with
some more Unseen Bits.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
At the recoupling,
Jeff was so love struck
he forgot how to talk.
Mi amor...
tu eres... Listen, listen.
Okay.
Turns out
it is actually Spanish.
But how?
Well in this exclusive
clip Nadjha introduces Jeff
to the Spanish tongue again,
and by the looks of
things he's a natural.
Are you ready for your
Spanish lesson of the day?
Let's do the basics, bro.
Okay.
So, how would you answer that?
Are you gonna say
that you're good today?
I am doing good.
I am good.
How about you?
Well, Jeff knows English.
That's how you get through
the second round of casting.
The difficult first
round is making sure
you know how deodorant works.
I am... I am good.
- I am good.
- I am good.
I am good.
- I am...
- I am...
- And you?
- Yeah.
- And you?
- No.
Okay. Hold on.
Hey, I'm getting it.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Your pronunciation
is actually pretty good.
I know.
Thank you.
If I'm gonna be with her,
like I do wanna learn
Spanish and shit though.
Just 'cause like she
might be talking shit one day
in Spanish and shit.
No, no, no.
R-r-r-r-r.
- Can you roll your R?
- No.
- R-r-r-r-r.
- That's the problem.
R-r-r.
Bro, stop laughing at me bro.
I took Spanish before
and I failed class.
That class.
So it was Spanish
one so that was terrible.
No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I-can say that.
Okay.
Keep going.
This is stressful.
If this is
stressful for you, Jeff,
may I recommend never
getting interrogated in the
Police Station for
a crime you did not commit.
Sorry, senor police.
I don't know who put all
those counterfeit
watches in my pinata.
Well, why was I carrying
a pinata internally?
That is a personal question!
- Yes.
- Hey.
You know, I was skipped to go,
but I think Jeff is ready
for that auctioning gig
we lined up for.
Mama.
Papa.
Oh, that was good.
That was good. That-that's
the lesson for the day.
Hear the cheesy music
because it's time
for "Beach Hut Blitz".
A million dollars
to spend in a day?
I really don't know.
A Rolls Royce Fandom.
I always wanted to Fandom.
I would buy a TV show.
I'd buy my mom her dream car.
Probably a-probably
a nice little Benz.
I feel like I would want
to buy a house for myself.
But paps like he
wants a Range Rover.
Buy him Range.
But that just sounds
so superficial, doesn't it?
I want a monkey really bad.
I just feel like
I would just get high.
I'm sorry.
Can I say this?
I would get high and
just stare at my monkey
and just see what he does.
And buy my brother,
uh, cars too and shit.
They have to be
knowing something.
They just they make eye contact
and they just like,
Ah, this is so much.
I want a monkey.
Just a meal right
there and shit.
I'm gonna name it, uh, Swerve.
Big Swerve.
And now we present part two
of the barbecue boys trilogy.
Look, we've got
a lot of footage.
We're doing what we can.
It's Unseen Bits.
Let's just get
through this together.
- He's a chef.
- Okay. Not bad so far.
Let's not forget.
Wow!
That just looks good.
Now-now, this way.
Swallow it.
It's not bad?
You promise?
On my mom?
Um, on my mom.
Not your mom, my mama.
Oh, your mom is
good about this sauce?
We just out here
moving as a movement.
Move with the movement
or get moved, man.
You heard?
You know today is?
We're gonna go
steal their tools.
So they can't do it anymore.
- We need disguises.
- What's our code names?
We got a secret agency.
Double agent Chubb
And double agent Mo.
To you.
The griddle girls.
The griddle girls!
We're the griddle girls.
Wait, where did Zeta and Deb go?
Who are those inconspicuous
people in the ugly hats.
- It's us.
- It's us.
- It's really us.
- It's... it's Deb and Zeta.
- It's really us.
- It's really us.
Can you... They're
never gonna know!
- They'll never know.
- That's the fun bit about it
They'll... they'll never know.
They'll never know.
Step aside, Joan of Arc,
the bravest women
ever are Zeta and Deb.
Johnie dear,
you win some, you lose some.
Our mission is to
capture the secret sauce.
The barbecue sauce
from the barbecue boys.
- I got your back.
- Okay.
Clear.
- It's good, right?
- Yeah.
Would you like any
mouthwash in a rag?
We-we got crime
stoppers over here.
Wait, time out.
Let me go see what's
going on over here.
Like... like what's up?
I don't like what's
brewing over here.
What the fuck y'all doing man.
- I'm mad for sure.
- Damn.
It's they're coming out.
They're dressed in
trenched coats and hats.
You know,
they just came outta nowhere.
We don't know who they are...
where they come from.
Anything like that, man.
But they're plotting.
They've been plotting
since day one.
Uh!
You guys are looking
for something?
I mean, who are they even?
For Sherlock Holmes.
You know what?
They can't really be up to much.
So let's just keep
an eye on them.
We'll keep an eye on those two.
We got-we got some
other things going on.
Jeff, where are you?
Down.
I repeat, we have a down!
Shaving cream?
- What.
- Let's go.
Come on you!
Come on!
Jeff, I love you!
They're gonna come
in and smuggle.
That they can't do this to us.
They can't do this to, man.
Stay tuned but we dip out
because the thrilling
conclusion of the barbecue boys
is very well done.
Nice you spray me.
I know.
Like, what the fuck?
What is that shit?
Back to "Love Island USA"
Unseen Bits.
Just like community theater,
we do what we can with
this seemingly useless.
It's time for another
Beach Hut Blitz?
Today's topic is
Celebrity Crushes?
A guilty celebrity
crush is Chase Stokes.
Interesting.
Also Tyler Cameron,
I haven't had
my phone in so long
so I feel like I have none-none
are even coming to mind.
Obviously,
Michael B. Jordan.
So hot!
Young JLo is super dope,
but I mean,
older JLo is... is just gorgeous.
Harry Jossy. Even though
he is not a celebrity,
I just think he's really hot.
Pete Davidson.
Hello?
Duh.
Oh!
Nate from Euphoria.
He's really hot.
Oh, there're so many hot men.
Gotta be,
uh, Chantel Jeffries, man.
CeejayTheDj.
You know she's... she's
just gorgeous, man.
Honestly, I love
everything about that girl.
But uh, don't tell Deb that.
The Rock.
We're supposed to just pick one.
You wanna look good?
You gotta feel good.
You want to feel good?
You better get some sleep
or you'll look like
the first raccoon islander.
That sounds
kind of cool actually.
The point is, you'll look tired.
Deb is delightful
in the morning.
Good morning, Debbie cake.
- Aw, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Somehow,
Sydney is the Debbie donor.
My allergies are fucked up.
Urg!
I did not sleep good.
Honestly,
I bet it was more peaceful
out here than in there.
Chad and Courtney giggling
were until the sunrise
and Zeta was snoring...
Oh!
- -hell aloud.
Zeta?
Zeta was like, "Achoo!
Achoo!"
Saying, "Achoo!
Achoo! Achoo!"
I literally wanted to
throw something at you, bro.
That was louder than Chad.
What?
Me?
I need to do my nails.
I look like shit.
Fuck sleeping like a hoe.
I'm cold as fuck.
Yeah, like shit.
There's ants in my bed.
There's ants?
- Yeah.
- Ewe!
I could not fall
asleep last night.
Spray tan and looking fucked up.
I wouldn't be in
Love Island without it.
Get me off of this island.
Previously on barbecue boys,
the griddle girls
have taken a hat hostage.
The following is rated R,
for ranch dressing.
We have a barbecue boy hat.
And we're now going-
That's my hat.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
- -to ruin it.
- You just.
- Why do you need our hat?
We need something else.
-Are you willing
-Too much sauce.
To give up the sauce...
for the hat-for the hat?
The got your shit.
Fuck your shit, bro!
Fuck!
The most disappointed they've
ever been this whole time
they've been here
is losing this hat.
Who the hell are those guys?
You guys didn't even
tell me I got shot, bro.
Yeah, you got shot
in the back, bro.
Hold on. Hold on.
What the hell?
And just like that,
barbeque boys
faced a strong arm of the law.
You don't wanna do this?
Where's the hat?
- We dunno.
- Where's the hat?
If we told you we'd
have to kill you.
All right. All right.
All right.
Yes! Yes!
We surrender!
Let this be a message
to all you kids out there.
Eventually the griddle
girls will get ya.
- Yes!
- Yes!
You go it.
You got it.
- Surrender!
- Who the hell are you?
It's good
to see Timmy's solidarity
to the barbecue boys struggle.
Now you'll all rot this
Love Island jail forever!
Forever!
I will die for the sauce.
I will die with the sauce!
I'll die for the sauce!
It's my sauce!
- Surrender!
- Surrender!
- They're griddle girls.
- Wow!
They really worked
hard on that one.
They worked really hard.
What does it say?
We couldn't tell.
Yours says
The wizard barbecue boy Zay.
Barbecue Jess the ward,
but he spelled ward wrong.
- Top chef.
- Sous chef.
He also spelled sous wrong.
And that concludes
the epic barbecue boy saga.
Apparently Martin
Scorsese has the rights
and is making the feature film
starring Robert De Niro as Deb.
Our work here is done is done.
Time for
advertorial and to learn
and we'll be back
with more unseen bits.
Bye, bye.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits?
Earlier this week,
the Islanders dressed up
in different fetish attire.
Why is there
always a sexy nurse...
But never a sexy proctologist?
The hearts on fire
challenge with a box of a smash,
so we're releasing the
prequel before the jiggling.
It's the gritty tale of
the Islanders humble origins.
Lap dancing takes
hard work in preparation,
not just watermelon
scented body spray
and a DJ with our raspy voice.
We're shaking our
dicks tonight, bro.
And indeed, yes.
There's Timmy.
The young man brave
enough to dream
everyone can shake their dicks.
But Lumberjack Timmy also knows
the importance
of shaking his axe.
Just getting the hips right.
Come on man.
Yeah.
We definitely gotta
get that right.
That's right. We just
gotta have fun with it, bro.
That's it, bro.
Then there's cowgirl Deb.
The naive out towner who didn't
believe she had what it takes,
but her friends pep
talked her to the top.
Side note,
just bring it out there,
that calling a
pretty woman cowgirl
doesn't sit right with me.
Here's the thing.
Anybody's gonna be a mother...
The only thing
if a guy sees your...
better motherfucker
dancer than me.
-if a guy sees your ass
moving a certain direction
and you move it on him,
he's gonna be like
So the thing is,
I don't know boobs or no ass,
but I can...
I can dance.
You can dance.
Exactly.
It doesn't matter.
Give-give me-give me some
lessons in here right now.
I'm gonna go like this.
Or big bum, it's about the
movement or the direction.
It's about the
motion of the ocean.
Then there was Jeff,
the season throw who revealed
this secret to
super-hot jiggling.
Basically pretending you're
trying to shake a jelly bean
loose from your jock strap.
Let me stretch.
Hold on. I got stretch bro.
Let me give you that.
All that bro.
Get there shit.
We're good.
We good.
Before the
jiggling... also sees angel
Phoebe lost in the wilderness...
Searching for the
true spirit of erotic lap dance
turns out it wasn't
staying hydrated
in taking your vitamins.
So first trip, this is all like,
are you guys going full out?
Because I feel like
I'm gonna go full out.
- Yeah, bitch.
- Okay.
I just feel like
the big boob girls
are gonna get Timmy's
heart rate up.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I can't dance.
- It don't matter.
Then I won't shake my teats
and hope something happens.
Yeah.
Period.
- Die.
- I will.
So today we had a football game
on the schedule for the boys.
I was looking forward to it.
I was always picked first
when we played
football at school.
Could have gone pro,
but my guidance
counselor pushed me
towards narrating
reality television.
Let's go.
You fucking lied!
Yeah?
Oh my God!
We had it.
We had it.
- Yeah, we're good.
- No, you did not.
Okay.
Hold on just a second.
I thought we were
playing football.
He's using his hands.
What is this music?
This isn't football music!
See, see.
I know.
Right, Jeff?
You need to use your feet guys.
You can't all be goalies.
Oh my God!
No, he... oh!
You did it.
I just told you what
he should have done.
Y'all don't listen.
Just coming right
underneath the line.
I clicked here as in like.
Hey Joel,
he running... he's running deep.
Double move.
2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2 trickery,
trickery, trickery, trickery.
Oh, this is
the oddest game of football
I've ever seen,
and I used to host the annual
puppy football tournament.
It's for charity, but
they literally lick footballs
and it's more like
football than this.
Yeah.
Reverse, reverse.
Reverse!
So watch it, watch it, watch it.
Watch out for-watch
out for the boys.
Zone, zone.
Sir, get back to your zone.
Hey!
Flips!
I told him.
It's time to pass.
Yes sir!
Yes sir!
Yes sir!
I told him.
I'm the best defense
coordinator in the nation.
I told y'all that.
And y'all when y'all listened,
it is gonna work.
I told y'all.
- Yeah.
- It's time.
Make sure they know.
Make sure they know.
Sir, hop!
- I told you!
- I told you
Oh, yeah!
They don't listen, man.
They just don't listen.
Hey, what's wrong with y'all?
Y'all just don't listen to me.
[Disco Ball.
Welcome up to
Love Island USA Unseen Bits.
This week, the Islanders
play a game of "dine-and-dash."
As you can see,
this game gives
Italians one more reason
not to trust anyone
else with their pasta.
Joel and Phoebe won the battle,
but the Mac and cheese
won the war against Jeff.
Mac and cheese
is considered a comfort food,
unless you do this with it.
You gave me one noodle!
Mac and cheese like to me,
it's just like slimy and, bro.
I can't... I don't
fuck with that shit.
Jeff, you have to
more than one noodle.
It's not bad!
Jeff!
Somehow those sexy,
slow, Muffets
can manage to make
vomiting look hot.
I hate Mac and cheese.
Jeff, well, you have to gimme
more than two noodles at a time.
Jeff, either
he really hates Mac and cheese
or he is doing
his best to wrestle
with a gluten sensitivity.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
I really did like be
myself during the challenge.
Oh!
Uhuh!
There was two times
where I definitely like
tinkled a little bit.
Well done babe.
You got it.
I believe in you, you got it.
Right here.
Right here.
I feel so bad for him.
Like he really
does not feel good.
You got it.
Okay.
- You got it.
- I can't.
Do it!
You can do it!
You're okay.
You're okay.
I can't do it, bro.
I can't.
Please.
No.
Let's just take it.
Jeff and Nadjha had
three macaronis in the bowl.
Jeff was breaking it down.
Now. That's how
you show love to an Islander...
Or an alcoholic.
You hug them after they vomit.
I'm touched.
Let's move
on from spitting up food
to something even
more unsettling,
fashion from the 1980s!
The Islanders weren't
even born in the '80s,
but they're hoping to
synthesize the experience
by dressing up like old photos
they've seen of their parents.
I don't remember
much of the '80s.
What do I know about the '80s?
Um? Number four?
Yeah.
Disco.
That was '70s.
That's '80s, right?
I'm a fucking Y2K kid.
I don't know what the
fuck happened in the '80s.
Jazzercise.
I love the '80s.
Isn't it like this?
Like uh, uh, uh.
I know it had amazing music.
I know they partied
like there was no tomorrow.
Well we do this thing.
You feel me? That's it.
These ugly dresses.
Ready for '80s night.
What do I know about the '80s?
Um
That's it.
I've got some more inspo
for Deb's fledgling
comedy career.
Nothing else performs
a conference like
watching someone else falling.
Case in point, this
never seen before rap battle
between the boys.
That rap is spelled
with a silent C.
You coming correct?
See, treat your girl, right?
Don't do the neglect.
You see that?
Not good rap at all,
but they're all
laughing and having fun.
So if it's your dream
to be a famous performer,
but you've been too
scared to pursue it,
Let the following motivate
you to give it a go.
I'm guess I'm not in the mess.
See the shit,
I don't got no glasses.
I ain't fucking with no hoe,
no smash or passes.
I move fast.
You more slow. My lasses.
Yeah.
I got hair on my chest,
hair on my face.
- Mustaches.
- Arh!
Season four,
we all want it, Love Island.
I was flying with the birds,
call that shit Dove Island.
You call it Dove Island?
Too many girls talking to Zeta,
I'm whirling.
They're absolutely
desecrating an art form.
Why are you so scared
to take your acoustic guitar...
To an open mic night then?
I'm talking to you at home
with a dream and
a Peacock subscription.
The way I stack their money,
this shit,
you know, will stay green.
Swear to fitness
we don't stack till
we hear that pop in the spleen.
You know, I stay cut.
Not big.
You know, I'm lean.
This reaffirms,
all my favorite
rappers are dead.
No, all the fields.
Got flowers around me,
daffodils.
Daffodils.
Shit. I'm hungry.
I need older meals.
Cameraman can't keep up.
You got so much to do,
all the reels.
Uh!
Why these girls so tall.
Shit, all the heels.
- Give me your hat.
- Yeah?
All the steals.
No!
Shit!
I'm done.
I'm actually done.
Well. I hope
that attempt at a rap battle
motivated you to
give your dreams a go.
See you at the Grammy's
you future stars, you.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
This week, the villa
said goodbye to an islander.
Unlike any other,
she was a woman of many words
most of which were
chicken nugget and okay.
To honor the grace...
The beauty and
brilliance of a girl that uses...
"that's hot" as punctuation,
we hired super producer Katie
to create this in her memory.
Enjoy.
My name is Courtney
and I just love being naked.
I just love being naked.
I just love being naked
at the end of the day.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, uh!
I'm getting naked.
I literally can't believe it.
You're naked.
Yes.
I loved it.
Okay.
You're naked.
You hired the strippers.
Oh my God!
That is... okay... hot.
My wildest fantasy?
To have sex in space
on a fucking spaceship.
Fucking,
fucking spaceship, spaceship.
Oh, holy shit.
Holy shit.
That is hot.
Um
Yeah.
O-o-o-o-o-okay.
He really is fucking hot.
He really is fucking hot.
They're just baby
chicken nugget.
Really, really fucking hot.
It's really fucking hot.
It's a baby chicken nugget.
I said it once and
I'll say it again.
Mama didn't raise no bitch.
That's hot.
Ah, Courtney,
maybe your mama didn't,
but mine definitely did.
She owned a dog
cannels to be fair.
Joel has many talents.
For starters,
he can make an underwear
model feel bashful
with the shirts off.
Also the guy can swim.
He's done more
laps than a dancer
in a questionable nightclub.
Wow!
He only gets like
two strokes in.
That kinda sucks.
- Three, four...
- Bro, that's insane.
Five...
- That's crazy.
Six, seven.
- That's insane, bro.
- Look at that.
- That's nuts.
- Look at that.
- You're a mermaid.
Yeah!
That is insane
Look at that.
- He's still going.
- That's insane, man.
Well, he hasn't breathed!
He hasn't even breathed.
- I mean he came up.
- He came up a little bit...
I thought you were supposed
to breathe on both sides.
- But he's floating.
- Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that. Bro!
Like bro,
look crazy in there, bro.
He like a mermaid.
I could tell Jeff a male mermaid
is mermen but I
do enjoy breathing...
So I might keep it to myself.
What a man?
They don't see
Black people do that.
Just get in there,
you'll survive.
You're right.
Back stroking there.
Look!
Oh, and he switched to that.
Bro.
Wow!
Wow!
Wow, bro.
Whoa!
- Wow!
- It's whoa!
Can you come swim in my ocean?
Ah shit!
- Can you swim in my ocean?
- What the fuck?
Jesse? what the fuck me...
- You're so mean.
- -is going on?
That was sexy, bro.
Deb doesn't quite
have Joel's swimming skills,
but she has pioneered a
new stationary swimming stroke
called the "sad pool."
I was on swim
team for two weeks.
I competed in a swim meet
and the coach asked
who I was after,
so after that I quit.
Don't worry.
Deb.
The producers ask
who I am every day.
Even I'm not sure.
Deb, what the fuck?
Deb!
I cannot cope with this bird.
Come on, Deb!
Swim, Deb!
Deb knows comedy,
and comedy 101 is making
an ass of yourself.
Comedy 102,
filming somebody being funny
and taking credit for it.
Zeta is advanced.
Swim, Deb.
Swim, Deb.
Well done.
Don't drown, Deb.
I love her.
But when it comes to swimming,
there's definitely
an Olympic medal
for me in the future.
Um, I know there's
not one for Joel
because I will beat him.
Thanks for the laughs, Deb.
As soon as comedy
clubs allow shallow pools
you can take this
act on the road.
Fucking Deborah.
That concludes
this week's unseen bits.
This week we learned
new languages,
saw a three part
cinematic masterpiece,
said goodbye to little
miss hard-a-lot,
and learned a bunch of things
we didn't need to know
about our favorite Islanders.
Until next time
stay bitty America.
Tomorrow, all night.
Her fake relationship With
that it is bound to collapse.
America's tweets...
This is about to get real
Wreak havoc.
I'll be fucking fuming.
Then why did you say that,
for sure? Like, uh...
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
What's that I hear you cry?
You want all the hottest moments
from the island repackaged
into fun size portion?
Get ready for a journey
into the unexplored
side of the island.
Look how stupid they look.
It's a place where
you can learn new languages.
Observe the
locals and their customs.
We shaking our
dicks tonight, bro.
Let's do it, bro.
And witness
eating Red Bulls passed down
from generation to generation.
- Do I have to swallow it?
- We prefer swallow.
This is a place
where terrifying battles
can break out at any moment.
Just put the weapon down.
Still keen? Good.
Be happy. It's fun.
Then strap yourself in
and get ready for
another round of...
That was sexy, bro.
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
"Love Island USA"
hires teams of producers
to think of fun stuff
for the Islanders to do.
Making an obstacle course.
But sometimes the Islanders
produce their own games,
and those are the games
that end up on Unseen Bits.
One editor's trash is
another editor's treasure.
What is Deborah doing with them?
What is Deb doing?
I have no idea.
I am the camp counselor,
camp Deb of Camp Love Island.
I'm the COO,
the Chief Officer of Optimism,
and I am here and I
am in charge of the fun.
Forcing people to have fun?
I'm guessing Deb's a tourist.
She is.
Figures.
Come here.
We're playing a game.
We're joining
an obstacle course.
Be happy.
It's fun.
Here's my whistle.
We're playing
"The Floor is Casa".
"The Floor is Casa", nobody
wants to go back to Casa Amor,
so if you fall,
you have to start over
or else you have
to go back to Casa Amor.
Okay.
We're gonna do two teams.
You start in the chair.
You run across the moat.
You do five curls. You have
to jump over the orange pillow.
You have to get the tube
from one end to the other,
run over the bridge.
And once you touch
the orange couch,
then the next person can go.
If you touch the floor you
have to start over your bridge.
Me and Isaiah are team captains.
Okay, Ready?
Set, go!
- Oh!
- Go, go!
One, two, three, four, five...
Five, four,
three, two, one, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go!
Growing up, my parents wrapped
all their precious
furniture in cling film,
so this is very
triggering for me.
What I would have given for them
to wrap me in cling film!
How are we gonna do this?
That seems too hard.
-And Jesse,
-Yes, sir.
It is not that hard at all.
Go Timmy!
I've seen feral cats
in a touring glam rock band
be more respectful to furniture,
but mostly I'm jealous
of their joint dexterity.
I twist an angle if I try to
walk and smile at the same time.
Slow, slow and steady.
Slow, and steady.
You're in the front.
Take your time.
Go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go Jesse, go.
Go Jesse, go.
Come on Jesse!
Let's go!
Come on baby.
Go Kat!
Go Kat!
Uh, five.
Swap, shit!
- Oh!
- Oh!
That was never
a regulation couch touch.
Like I say to row
breakers at every orgy,
it won't be fun if
you don't follow the rules.
Yes, I did it!
My team lost.
Unfortunately.
My team was just... We
got the sportsmanship award.
But you know what they say?
Second place is just the first
loser, so we still got first...
just in losing.
Thanks for playing
"The Floor is Casa".
See you next week.
Deb, if I was an entrepreneur,
the first thing I do
is hire you to run a chain of
summer camps operated
outta failing furniture stores,
low in overheads, high in fun.
Yeah, I wanna take a shower.
The Unseen Bits
historians recently discovered
footage of Jesse's
study of the written word.
Lesson 287, words don't always
sound like they're spelled.
I don't feel like
that says Phoebe, bro.
Oh, yeah.
It always looks Fobe, bro.
That's right.
Yeah.
Like Phe,
how does the O make a E?
- I... I don't get that either.
- Is it silent?
It's gotta be.
Yours is O-E Joel and it's Joel.
We're talking about
how that says "Phoebe".
Jesse.
Everyone knows
it's because Phoebe
is the Latinized form of
the Greek name Phoibe,
derived from the Greek Phoebus,
meaning bright, shiny one.
Everyone knows that.
Uh, his girlfriend's
name was Phoebe.
- Really?
- Is it spelled like that?
- It's probably a guy's name.
- Really?
It's the first
Phoebe I've ever met.
There should be just F-B-E.
F-I-B, I mean,
but that'd be more Fibbe.
Just wait until Jesse finds out
how Colonel is spelled.
He's gonna flip a table.
Fibbe.
F-E-B-E-E.
What we just heard
from Chad wasn't Gibberish,
he was just saying Phoebe
in a language called Chadzain.
Yep. Between the German
making out sessions,
Chad and Isaiah
have also invented
a highly complex new language.
Luckily our camera
crew were sober enough
to capture its genesis.
That's it.
For context,
we auditioned over 25,000 boys,
and this is who made the cuts.
I went to the jungle and
I found a cuppy.
- Cuppy?
- A cuppy
Just fuck up!
New guy Joel is conflicted.
If he joins in,
he gains two new friends.
But he also loses his dignity.
Smart move, Joel.
Pretend you've finished dressing
and just walk away slowly.
A reminder.
Isaiah and Chad are considered
two of the most desirable
boys in the villa.
The remaining OG guys,
AKA the barbecue boys,
have been known to the audience,
producers and authorities
for a while Now.
So far, this scrappy
street crew's main activity
has been shouting "Barbecue
boys" at passersby.
But when a highly addictive
new liquid drug hit the streets,
everything changed.
Let's see what is now.
Come here.
I just think the barbecue boys,
it started off with
a common denominator
for the love of the BBQ,
but then it became
this whole metaphor to
how we rocking as the last OGs.
I love barbecue sauce.
The thing that's always held
us together is the barbecue.
BB Q.
Uhuh.
BB
Q.
I wish we could all wear
hats and put like BBQ on it.
Barbecue?
We could use a Sharpie
and write on those hats, bro.
And thus,
we have the origin story
of the barbecue boys
crime center kits.
Huh! Yeah.
It was good.
Barbecue swerve here.
Huh!
Master chef.
Number two, huh!
Zayway.
Huh!
Isaiah, top chef.
You heard?
You heard? Huh!
You know, number three,
last but not least.
You know, barbecue Jess.
Better known as sous chef.
You know,
we get shit popping like
bacon grease in the kitchen,
baby, wear it's hot.
Yeah. Barbecue boys.
You heard?
By writing on a hat,
the barbecue boys have
shown evidence of intent,
making them eligible for
a raft of federal RICO crimes.
Sing, sing, or bust, baby!
So we doing one squirt?
How many squirts?
One shot.
I'll put a shot.
One... one shot?
Yeah, one shot.
We all know.
Just one shot.
And you can't close your
mouths 'til the shot's done.
Um, we had our, you know,
barbecue sauce
in our shot bottle.
You know what I'm saying?
And if they did complete
the shot successfully,
we were gonna offer
them three services.
Plastic mafia move to me.
Stay loyal to our condiments
and we offer you protection.
Is it... is it second
B right in the middle?
I'm thinking... The B...
that's a second middle.
Zeta and
Deb are onto barbecue boys.
They know condiment danger
well before it squirts
them in their face.
Don't trust these men.
Take it from me,
are recovering
spicy Dijon addict.
- And what all they doing?
- I have no idea.
They've got... They're
writing on hats kinda thing.
We were... I think they're
trying to spray us with
barbecue sauce so that's
why I got the moose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
we just got spice shit up, bro.
Well, we've been
in kitchen way too long.
These are the barbecue boys?
- Is that the barbecue boys?
- Of shit!
- The barbecue boys?
- They're out.
What are you guys doing?
- We're bored.
- We are the barbecue boys...
and, um, we've been in the
kitchen for some time now.
We just wanted to
give out some spice.
Well
it's hard to always
talk about your feelings.
Falling in love is
very exhausting so...
so sometimes you
have to go on missions.
Yeah. You have to
become a double agent.
Federal agents
Zeta and Deb are on a stakeout.
To return justice to the villa.
Sadly, they can't save everyone.
Chanse is the first victim.
We-we have very for you.
Lean that hair back.
Now, you cannot close your mouth
until the full shot hit a raft.
Look at the porn shit.
Are they initiating?
The barbecue
boys squirts terror directly
into the hearts of the innocent,
or on to the chicken fingers.
They have no conscience.
They don't care
where the sauce goes
or whose white
t-shirt they stain.
Look how stupid they look?
It is stupid, Deb,
and barbecue sauce
is a gateway drug.
It never ends well.
I've got a friend
doing a 10 to 15 stretch
for being an international
mustard smuggler.
We appreciate your part.
Welcome to the club.
I wish Jesse had a yellow hat
so they could be ketchup,
marinades and mustard.
Do I have to swallow?
We prefer a swallow.
Spit is for quitters.
Spitting is for
fucking quitters.
- We are...
- Oh!
Is she gonna open her mouth?
She's not gonna do it.
Ready?
Put it slow.
And that's the full.
That's it!
It's just like a kinky thing?
3, 2, 1 go!
He's gonna do it.
He's gonna do it.
Chad, we would like
to service you, bro.
- Fuck, no!
- Please.
Can you give for one second?
I closed my eyes for 10 seconds.
Are we sure we wanna
be with Timmy and Jesse?
You can't get out now Zeta,
you're in too deep.
Remember kids,
if the barbecue boys offer
you the time of your life,
it could also be
the end of your life.
Just say no.
One sport is all it takes.
And one short break
is all it takes,
but we are back with
some more Unseen Bits.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
At the recoupling,
Jeff was so love struck
he forgot how to talk.
Mi amor...
tu eres... Listen, listen.
Okay.
Turns out
it is actually Spanish.
But how?
Well in this exclusive
clip Nadjha introduces Jeff
to the Spanish tongue again,
and by the looks of
things he's a natural.
Are you ready for your
Spanish lesson of the day?
Let's do the basics, bro.
Okay.
So, how would you answer that?
Are you gonna say
that you're good today?
I am doing good.
I am good.
How about you?
Well, Jeff knows English.
That's how you get through
the second round of casting.
The difficult first
round is making sure
you know how deodorant works.
I am... I am good.
- I am good.
- I am good.
I am good.
- I am...
- I am...
- And you?
- Yeah.
- And you?
- No.
Okay. Hold on.
Hey, I'm getting it.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Your pronunciation
is actually pretty good.
I know.
Thank you.
If I'm gonna be with her,
like I do wanna learn
Spanish and shit though.
Just 'cause like she
might be talking shit one day
in Spanish and shit.
No, no, no.
R-r-r-r-r.
- Can you roll your R?
- No.
- R-r-r-r-r.
- That's the problem.
R-r-r.
Bro, stop laughing at me bro.
I took Spanish before
and I failed class.
That class.
So it was Spanish
one so that was terrible.
No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I-can say that.
Okay.
Keep going.
This is stressful.
If this is
stressful for you, Jeff,
may I recommend never
getting interrogated in the
Police Station for
a crime you did not commit.
Sorry, senor police.
I don't know who put all
those counterfeit
watches in my pinata.
Well, why was I carrying
a pinata internally?
That is a personal question!
- Yes.
- Hey.
You know, I was skipped to go,
but I think Jeff is ready
for that auctioning gig
we lined up for.
Mama.
Papa.
Oh, that was good.
That was good. That-that's
the lesson for the day.
Hear the cheesy music
because it's time
for "Beach Hut Blitz".
A million dollars
to spend in a day?
I really don't know.
A Rolls Royce Fandom.
I always wanted to Fandom.
I would buy a TV show.
I'd buy my mom her dream car.
Probably a-probably
a nice little Benz.
I feel like I would want
to buy a house for myself.
But paps like he
wants a Range Rover.
Buy him Range.
But that just sounds
so superficial, doesn't it?
I want a monkey really bad.
I just feel like
I would just get high.
I'm sorry.
Can I say this?
I would get high and
just stare at my monkey
and just see what he does.
And buy my brother,
uh, cars too and shit.
They have to be
knowing something.
They just they make eye contact
and they just like,
Ah, this is so much.
I want a monkey.
Just a meal right
there and shit.
I'm gonna name it, uh, Swerve.
Big Swerve.
And now we present part two
of the barbecue boys trilogy.
Look, we've got
a lot of footage.
We're doing what we can.
It's Unseen Bits.
Let's just get
through this together.
- He's a chef.
- Okay. Not bad so far.
Let's not forget.
Wow!
That just looks good.
Now-now, this way.
Swallow it.
It's not bad?
You promise?
On my mom?
Um, on my mom.
Not your mom, my mama.
Oh, your mom is
good about this sauce?
We just out here
moving as a movement.
Move with the movement
or get moved, man.
You heard?
You know today is?
We're gonna go
steal their tools.
So they can't do it anymore.
- We need disguises.
- What's our code names?
We got a secret agency.
Double agent Chubb
And double agent Mo.
To you.
The griddle girls.
The griddle girls!
We're the griddle girls.
Wait, where did Zeta and Deb go?
Who are those inconspicuous
people in the ugly hats.
- It's us.
- It's us.
- It's really us.
- It's... it's Deb and Zeta.
- It's really us.
- It's really us.
Can you... They're
never gonna know!
- They'll never know.
- That's the fun bit about it
They'll... they'll never know.
They'll never know.
Step aside, Joan of Arc,
the bravest women
ever are Zeta and Deb.
Johnie dear,
you win some, you lose some.
Our mission is to
capture the secret sauce.
The barbecue sauce
from the barbecue boys.
- I got your back.
- Okay.
Clear.
- It's good, right?
- Yeah.
Would you like any
mouthwash in a rag?
We-we got crime
stoppers over here.
Wait, time out.
Let me go see what's
going on over here.
Like... like what's up?
I don't like what's
brewing over here.
What the fuck y'all doing man.
- I'm mad for sure.
- Damn.
It's they're coming out.
They're dressed in
trenched coats and hats.
You know,
they just came outta nowhere.
We don't know who they are...
where they come from.
Anything like that, man.
But they're plotting.
They've been plotting
since day one.
Uh!
You guys are looking
for something?
I mean, who are they even?
For Sherlock Holmes.
You know what?
They can't really be up to much.
So let's just keep
an eye on them.
We'll keep an eye on those two.
We got-we got some
other things going on.
Jeff, where are you?
Down.
I repeat, we have a down!
Shaving cream?
- What.
- Let's go.
Come on you!
Come on!
Jeff, I love you!
They're gonna come
in and smuggle.
That they can't do this to us.
They can't do this to, man.
Stay tuned but we dip out
because the thrilling
conclusion of the barbecue boys
is very well done.
Nice you spray me.
I know.
Like, what the fuck?
What is that shit?
Back to "Love Island USA"
Unseen Bits.
Just like community theater,
we do what we can with
this seemingly useless.
It's time for another
Beach Hut Blitz?
Today's topic is
Celebrity Crushes?
A guilty celebrity
crush is Chase Stokes.
Interesting.
Also Tyler Cameron,
I haven't had
my phone in so long
so I feel like I have none-none
are even coming to mind.
Obviously,
Michael B. Jordan.
So hot!
Young JLo is super dope,
but I mean,
older JLo is... is just gorgeous.
Harry Jossy. Even though
he is not a celebrity,
I just think he's really hot.
Pete Davidson.
Hello?
Duh.
Oh!
Nate from Euphoria.
He's really hot.
Oh, there're so many hot men.
Gotta be,
uh, Chantel Jeffries, man.
CeejayTheDj.
You know she's... she's
just gorgeous, man.
Honestly, I love
everything about that girl.
But uh, don't tell Deb that.
The Rock.
We're supposed to just pick one.
You wanna look good?
You gotta feel good.
You want to feel good?
You better get some sleep
or you'll look like
the first raccoon islander.
That sounds
kind of cool actually.
The point is, you'll look tired.
Deb is delightful
in the morning.
Good morning, Debbie cake.
- Aw, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Somehow,
Sydney is the Debbie donor.
My allergies are fucked up.
Urg!
I did not sleep good.
Honestly,
I bet it was more peaceful
out here than in there.
Chad and Courtney giggling
were until the sunrise
and Zeta was snoring...
Oh!
- -hell aloud.
Zeta?
Zeta was like, "Achoo!
Achoo!"
Saying, "Achoo!
Achoo! Achoo!"
I literally wanted to
throw something at you, bro.
That was louder than Chad.
What?
Me?
I need to do my nails.
I look like shit.
Fuck sleeping like a hoe.
I'm cold as fuck.
Yeah, like shit.
There's ants in my bed.
There's ants?
- Yeah.
- Ewe!
I could not fall
asleep last night.
Spray tan and looking fucked up.
I wouldn't be in
Love Island without it.
Get me off of this island.
Previously on barbecue boys,
the griddle girls
have taken a hat hostage.
The following is rated R,
for ranch dressing.
We have a barbecue boy hat.
And we're now going-
That's my hat.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
- -to ruin it.
- You just.
- Why do you need our hat?
We need something else.
-Are you willing
-Too much sauce.
To give up the sauce...
for the hat-for the hat?
The got your shit.
Fuck your shit, bro!
Fuck!
The most disappointed they've
ever been this whole time
they've been here
is losing this hat.
Who the hell are those guys?
You guys didn't even
tell me I got shot, bro.
Yeah, you got shot
in the back, bro.
Hold on. Hold on.
What the hell?
And just like that,
barbeque boys
faced a strong arm of the law.
You don't wanna do this?
Where's the hat?
- We dunno.
- Where's the hat?
If we told you we'd
have to kill you.
All right. All right.
All right.
Yes! Yes!
We surrender!
Let this be a message
to all you kids out there.
Eventually the griddle
girls will get ya.
- Yes!
- Yes!
You go it.
You got it.
- Surrender!
- Who the hell are you?
It's good
to see Timmy's solidarity
to the barbecue boys struggle.
Now you'll all rot this
Love Island jail forever!
Forever!
I will die for the sauce.
I will die with the sauce!
I'll die for the sauce!
It's my sauce!
- Surrender!
- Surrender!
- They're griddle girls.
- Wow!
They really worked
hard on that one.
They worked really hard.
What does it say?
We couldn't tell.
Yours says
The wizard barbecue boy Zay.
Barbecue Jess the ward,
but he spelled ward wrong.
- Top chef.
- Sous chef.
He also spelled sous wrong.
And that concludes
the epic barbecue boy saga.
Apparently Martin
Scorsese has the rights
and is making the feature film
starring Robert De Niro as Deb.
Our work here is done is done.
Time for
advertorial and to learn
and we'll be back
with more unseen bits.
Bye, bye.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits?
Earlier this week,
the Islanders dressed up
in different fetish attire.
Why is there
always a sexy nurse...
But never a sexy proctologist?
The hearts on fire
challenge with a box of a smash,
so we're releasing the
prequel before the jiggling.
It's the gritty tale of
the Islanders humble origins.
Lap dancing takes
hard work in preparation,
not just watermelon
scented body spray
and a DJ with our raspy voice.
We're shaking our
dicks tonight, bro.
And indeed, yes.
There's Timmy.
The young man brave
enough to dream
everyone can shake their dicks.
But Lumberjack Timmy also knows
the importance
of shaking his axe.
Just getting the hips right.
Come on man.
Yeah.
We definitely gotta
get that right.
That's right. We just
gotta have fun with it, bro.
That's it, bro.
Then there's cowgirl Deb.
The naive out towner who didn't
believe she had what it takes,
but her friends pep
talked her to the top.
Side note,
just bring it out there,
that calling a
pretty woman cowgirl
doesn't sit right with me.
Here's the thing.
Anybody's gonna be a mother...
The only thing
if a guy sees your...
better motherfucker
dancer than me.
-if a guy sees your ass
moving a certain direction
and you move it on him,
he's gonna be like
So the thing is,
I don't know boobs or no ass,
but I can...
I can dance.
You can dance.
Exactly.
It doesn't matter.
Give-give me-give me some
lessons in here right now.
I'm gonna go like this.
Or big bum, it's about the
movement or the direction.
It's about the
motion of the ocean.
Then there was Jeff,
the season throw who revealed
this secret to
super-hot jiggling.
Basically pretending you're
trying to shake a jelly bean
loose from your jock strap.
Let me stretch.
Hold on. I got stretch bro.
Let me give you that.
All that bro.
Get there shit.
We're good.
We good.
Before the
jiggling... also sees angel
Phoebe lost in the wilderness...
Searching for the
true spirit of erotic lap dance
turns out it wasn't
staying hydrated
in taking your vitamins.
So first trip, this is all like,
are you guys going full out?
Because I feel like
I'm gonna go full out.
- Yeah, bitch.
- Okay.
I just feel like
the big boob girls
are gonna get Timmy's
heart rate up.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I can't dance.
- It don't matter.
Then I won't shake my teats
and hope something happens.
Yeah.
Period.
- Die.
- I will.
So today we had a football game
on the schedule for the boys.
I was looking forward to it.
I was always picked first
when we played
football at school.
Could have gone pro,
but my guidance
counselor pushed me
towards narrating
reality television.
Let's go.
You fucking lied!
Yeah?
Oh my God!
We had it.
We had it.
- Yeah, we're good.
- No, you did not.
Okay.
Hold on just a second.
I thought we were
playing football.
He's using his hands.
What is this music?
This isn't football music!
See, see.
I know.
Right, Jeff?
You need to use your feet guys.
You can't all be goalies.
Oh my God!
No, he... oh!
You did it.
I just told you what
he should have done.
Y'all don't listen.
Just coming right
underneath the line.
I clicked here as in like.
Hey Joel,
he running... he's running deep.
Double move.
2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2 trickery,
trickery, trickery, trickery.
Oh, this is
the oddest game of football
I've ever seen,
and I used to host the annual
puppy football tournament.
It's for charity, but
they literally lick footballs
and it's more like
football than this.
Yeah.
Reverse, reverse.
Reverse!
So watch it, watch it, watch it.
Watch out for-watch
out for the boys.
Zone, zone.
Sir, get back to your zone.
Hey!
Flips!
I told him.
It's time to pass.
Yes sir!
Yes sir!
Yes sir!
I told him.
I'm the best defense
coordinator in the nation.
I told y'all that.
And y'all when y'all listened,
it is gonna work.
I told y'all.
- Yeah.
- It's time.
Make sure they know.
Make sure they know.
Sir, hop!
- I told you!
- I told you
Oh, yeah!
They don't listen, man.
They just don't listen.
Hey, what's wrong with y'all?
Y'all just don't listen to me.
[Disco Ball.
Welcome up to
Love Island USA Unseen Bits.
This week, the Islanders
play a game of "dine-and-dash."
As you can see,
this game gives
Italians one more reason
not to trust anyone
else with their pasta.
Joel and Phoebe won the battle,
but the Mac and cheese
won the war against Jeff.
Mac and cheese
is considered a comfort food,
unless you do this with it.
You gave me one noodle!
Mac and cheese like to me,
it's just like slimy and, bro.
I can't... I don't
fuck with that shit.
Jeff, you have to
more than one noodle.
It's not bad!
Jeff!
Somehow those sexy,
slow, Muffets
can manage to make
vomiting look hot.
I hate Mac and cheese.
Jeff, well, you have to gimme
more than two noodles at a time.
Jeff, either
he really hates Mac and cheese
or he is doing
his best to wrestle
with a gluten sensitivity.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
I really did like be
myself during the challenge.
Oh!
Uhuh!
There was two times
where I definitely like
tinkled a little bit.
Well done babe.
You got it.
I believe in you, you got it.
Right here.
Right here.
I feel so bad for him.
Like he really
does not feel good.
You got it.
Okay.
- You got it.
- I can't.
Do it!
You can do it!
You're okay.
You're okay.
I can't do it, bro.
I can't.
Please.
No.
Let's just take it.
Jeff and Nadjha had
three macaronis in the bowl.
Jeff was breaking it down.
Now. That's how
you show love to an Islander...
Or an alcoholic.
You hug them after they vomit.
I'm touched.
Let's move
on from spitting up food
to something even
more unsettling,
fashion from the 1980s!
The Islanders weren't
even born in the '80s,
but they're hoping to
synthesize the experience
by dressing up like old photos
they've seen of their parents.
I don't remember
much of the '80s.
What do I know about the '80s?
Um? Number four?
Yeah.
Disco.
That was '70s.
That's '80s, right?
I'm a fucking Y2K kid.
I don't know what the
fuck happened in the '80s.
Jazzercise.
I love the '80s.
Isn't it like this?
Like uh, uh, uh.
I know it had amazing music.
I know they partied
like there was no tomorrow.
Well we do this thing.
You feel me? That's it.
These ugly dresses.
Ready for '80s night.
What do I know about the '80s?
Um
That's it.
I've got some more inspo
for Deb's fledgling
comedy career.
Nothing else performs
a conference like
watching someone else falling.
Case in point, this
never seen before rap battle
between the boys.
That rap is spelled
with a silent C.
You coming correct?
See, treat your girl, right?
Don't do the neglect.
You see that?
Not good rap at all,
but they're all
laughing and having fun.
So if it's your dream
to be a famous performer,
but you've been too
scared to pursue it,
Let the following motivate
you to give it a go.
I'm guess I'm not in the mess.
See the shit,
I don't got no glasses.
I ain't fucking with no hoe,
no smash or passes.
I move fast.
You more slow. My lasses.
Yeah.
I got hair on my chest,
hair on my face.
- Mustaches.
- Arh!
Season four,
we all want it, Love Island.
I was flying with the birds,
call that shit Dove Island.
You call it Dove Island?
Too many girls talking to Zeta,
I'm whirling.
They're absolutely
desecrating an art form.
Why are you so scared
to take your acoustic guitar...
To an open mic night then?
I'm talking to you at home
with a dream and
a Peacock subscription.
The way I stack their money,
this shit,
you know, will stay green.
Swear to fitness
we don't stack till
we hear that pop in the spleen.
You know, I stay cut.
Not big.
You know, I'm lean.
This reaffirms,
all my favorite
rappers are dead.
No, all the fields.
Got flowers around me,
daffodils.
Daffodils.
Shit. I'm hungry.
I need older meals.
Cameraman can't keep up.
You got so much to do,
all the reels.
Uh!
Why these girls so tall.
Shit, all the heels.
- Give me your hat.
- Yeah?
All the steals.
No!
Shit!
I'm done.
I'm actually done.
Well. I hope
that attempt at a rap battle
motivated you to
give your dreams a go.
See you at the Grammy's
you future stars, you.
Welcome back to
"Love Island USA" Unseen Bits.
This week, the villa
said goodbye to an islander.
Unlike any other,
she was a woman of many words
most of which were
chicken nugget and okay.
To honor the grace...
The beauty and
brilliance of a girl that uses...
"that's hot" as punctuation,
we hired super producer Katie
to create this in her memory.
Enjoy.
My name is Courtney
and I just love being naked.
I just love being naked.
I just love being naked
at the end of the day.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, uh!
I'm getting naked.
I literally can't believe it.
You're naked.
Yes.
I loved it.
Okay.
You're naked.
You hired the strippers.
Oh my God!
That is... okay... hot.
My wildest fantasy?
To have sex in space
on a fucking spaceship.
Fucking,
fucking spaceship, spaceship.
Oh, holy shit.
Holy shit.
That is hot.
Um
Yeah.
O-o-o-o-o-okay.
He really is fucking hot.
He really is fucking hot.
They're just baby
chicken nugget.
Really, really fucking hot.
It's really fucking hot.
It's a baby chicken nugget.
I said it once and
I'll say it again.
Mama didn't raise no bitch.
That's hot.
Ah, Courtney,
maybe your mama didn't,
but mine definitely did.
She owned a dog
cannels to be fair.
Joel has many talents.
For starters,
he can make an underwear
model feel bashful
with the shirts off.
Also the guy can swim.
He's done more
laps than a dancer
in a questionable nightclub.
Wow!
He only gets like
two strokes in.
That kinda sucks.
- Three, four...
- Bro, that's insane.
Five...
- That's crazy.
Six, seven.
- That's insane, bro.
- Look at that.
- That's nuts.
- Look at that.
- You're a mermaid.
Yeah!
That is insane
Look at that.
- He's still going.
- That's insane, man.
Well, he hasn't breathed!
He hasn't even breathed.
- I mean he came up.
- He came up a little bit...
I thought you were supposed
to breathe on both sides.
- But he's floating.
- Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that. Bro!
Like bro,
look crazy in there, bro.
He like a mermaid.
I could tell Jeff a male mermaid
is mermen but I
do enjoy breathing...
So I might keep it to myself.
What a man?
They don't see
Black people do that.
Just get in there,
you'll survive.
You're right.
Back stroking there.
Look!
Oh, and he switched to that.
Bro.
Wow!
Wow!
Wow, bro.
Whoa!
- Wow!
- It's whoa!
Can you come swim in my ocean?
Ah shit!
- Can you swim in my ocean?
- What the fuck?
Jesse? what the fuck me...
- You're so mean.
- -is going on?
That was sexy, bro.
Deb doesn't quite
have Joel's swimming skills,
but she has pioneered a
new stationary swimming stroke
called the "sad pool."
I was on swim
team for two weeks.
I competed in a swim meet
and the coach asked
who I was after,
so after that I quit.
Don't worry.
Deb.
The producers ask
who I am every day.
Even I'm not sure.
Deb, what the fuck?
Deb!
I cannot cope with this bird.
Come on, Deb!
Swim, Deb!
Deb knows comedy,
and comedy 101 is making
an ass of yourself.
Comedy 102,
filming somebody being funny
and taking credit for it.
Zeta is advanced.
Swim, Deb.
Swim, Deb.
Well done.
Don't drown, Deb.
I love her.
But when it comes to swimming,
there's definitely
an Olympic medal
for me in the future.
Um, I know there's
not one for Joel
because I will beat him.
Thanks for the laughs, Deb.
As soon as comedy
clubs allow shallow pools
you can take this
act on the road.
Fucking Deborah.
That concludes
this week's unseen bits.
This week we learned
new languages,
saw a three part
cinematic masterpiece,
said goodbye to little
miss hard-a-lot,
and learned a bunch of things
we didn't need to know
about our favorite Islanders.
Until next time
stay bitty America.
Tomorrow, all night.
Her fake relationship With
that it is bound to collapse.
America's tweets...
This is about to get real
Wreak havoc.
I'll be fucking fuming.
Then why did you say that,
for sure? Like, uh...