Love Island (2015–…): Season 8, Episode 20 - Unseen Bits 3 - full transcript

IAIN STIRLING: 'Your Saturday night
festival of love is right here.'

Whoo!

'Welcome to Unseen Bits Stage.'

SHE GUFFAWS

'The secret tent
where everyone goes wild.'

There's a lizard!
SCREAMING

I'm hungry!

'So, eat...'

SHRIEKING
'..drink...'

SHE MIMICS A FUNNY VOICE
'..and party.'

ALL: La, la, la, la!
'But watch out for the aftermath.'



HE GIGGLES

'And get ready to see
the most exclusive unseen footage

'from the last seven days.'

Behind the scenes on Love Island.

'This is your weekly line-up
of sun...'

Ah!
'..fun...'

SHE GIGGLES
'..and zero mud.'

Make sure you don't edit me
to look like an idiot.

Gabba, gabba, gabba, ding!

'It's Love Island: Unseen Bits.'

Argh!
GIGGLING

'Welcome to
Love Island: Unseen Bits.'

MUSIC: 'Acapulco'
by Jason Derulo

# I can't read ya... #



'This is a show for super fans

'who want more exclusive action
from the Islanders,

'and I've been grafting hard
this week to find you all the LOLs

'to liven up your Saturday night.

'This week,
everyone took the plunge.'

# Baby, oh-oh
You're just a little loco... #

'Some Islanders slipped up.'

The plant pot's gone.

LAUGHTER

What is it?

# Baby, oh-oh
You're just a little loco... #

'Leading to drama and tears.'

Do you think me and Paige
could have the daybed,

and you guys could maybe,
like, go somewhere else?

Er, absolutely not.

If I don't have this conversation on
the daybed, I'm gonna break down.

She's gonna have a BF, you guys.
Bitch fit.

If you do one tear, we'll leave.
One tear?

We'll get you some tissues later.

She's crying.
Is she actually?

Are you laughing or crying, though?

Honestly!

Dami, it's not the time for jokes.

# Uh-oh
You're just a little loco

# Like boats in Acapulco... #

'So strap in for an hour
of unmissable, uncensored,

'unbelievable unseen bits.'

# I love you that way. #

'Now, some of the UK's greatest
and most powerful character actors

'have come out of Love Island.'

'Did I say Love Island?
Sorry, I meant RADA.

'Although we do have a drama queen

'who once played a serial killer
in a Turkish soap opera

'dishing out
her theatrical masterclass.'

Guys, the first exercise is,
obviously,

whoever's the most believable tree.

Yeah, OK.
If I think you're believable...

Yeah, cos you know,
you're master at this, yeah.

So I want you all guys over here,
spread out.

The whole point of this exercise
is obviously

connecting to your inner soul,
connecting to the nature

and really believing
that you're a tree.

Three, two, one. Get into a tree.

Like, what?! How's this acting?
This is just weird.

Dami!

LAUGHTER,
BLOWS RASPBERRY

No laughing, guys.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Feel the branches.

If it's windy, it'll be, like,
going like this, won't it?

SNICKERING

Good.

So, Dami,
when you were becoming this tree,

did you feel any emotions?
Yeah, I felt free.

I felt like I was flying
and there was wind blowing

through my... through the leaves,
and, you know, rustling.

Stuff like that.

It just felt like imminent bliss...
inside.

So you felt connected to nature?
Yeah, to the tree that I was, yeah.

"Did you feel connected
to the tree?"

No. Like, what?

IAIN STIRLING: 'Just last week, all
seemed well for Ikenna and Indiyah.

'But then disaster struck
as they parted ways...'

I don't think romance
is the direction for us.

'..leaving them isolated and alone
in the villa.

'However, our eagle-eyed fans
spotted this clip from Unseen Bits.

'They demanded to know more.'

HE READS MESSAGES

'Well, who are we
to leave you in suspense?

'After all,
this is the home of unseen clips,

'so to make sure
it doesn't remain unseen,

'here it is.'

IKENNA: Ahh!
THEY SQUEAL

Where's my... attention?

OK, I got to brush my teeth now.

Ahhhhh!

EKIN-SU: I want one.
OK, Indiyah now.

Indiyah, Indiyah.

OK, Indiyah.
ALL: Indiyahh!

Why do I have to do that way?

SHOUTING,
CHEERING

Too hot...
BOTH: Too spicy!

IAIN: 'There you go.
I hope you're all happy now.'

'This week started with my entire
white trainer collection

'being ruined in slow motion
by the Islanders.

'Guys, they're my classic Dunlops!

'I have the receipt
for those bad boys.

'And now they're water-damaged!'

CHEERING

'But, in typical
Love Island fashion,

'it all ended up in a weird
slow-motion snogfest...

'..involving
a stolen cash-and-carry trolley,

'a plastic fish,

'and a load of leftover tinsel
from Christmas.

'But then, with a wham, bam,
thank you, clam...'

Hey, boys!
What the hell?

'..Danica entered the villa.

'And the boys
weren't far behind her.

'Easy, boys! Play it cool.

'And you lot,
I want my trainer collection back,

'box fresh, just as you found them.'

Ew! These, like, absolutely stink
of, like, wet and water.

Smell.

Ugh!

'You know what? Forget it.
Just burn them on the fire pit.

'Talking of the fire pit,

'it's still our Islanders' favourite
spot for grilling the new girl,

'who seems to be getting into
the rhythm of island life.

'Well, she is a dancer.

'But she doesn't like
to go on about it (!)'

So, I'm 21, I'm a dancer.

I've just finished
my degree in dance.

I basically just do
all sorts of dancing.

Like, I've just finished
my university degree as a dancer.

I did Capital's Jingle Bell Ball.

I've just literally just finished
my university degree, dancing.

And I dance professionally.

So, I did
Capital's Jingle Bell Ball.

That's probably the biggest thing
I've done. Wow, that's really good.

'If you do
the Jingle Bell Ball again,

'can you pick me up
some new tinsel? Thanks.'

So, the boy that I want
to couple up with is...

'Despite being
a professionally trained dancer...'

..Luca. '..she still managed
to step on a few toes.

'Eventually,
only rapper Remi remained.

'And it was time for him
to wrap up and pack up.

'Oi! Are those my trainers?'

BOYS LAUGH

Who wants these creps?

Take 'em, bro.
Take 'em, man.

Take 'em? No, they're duds.
Who wants them?

'I'll have them, thanks, Remi.

'And before he wrecks
any more of my stuff,

'Remi rolled his suitcase
out of there.'

'Time for an unseen clip,
and Rowan Atkinson,

'if you're watching,
which I'm sure you are,

'you might want to turn over now.'

Does... Does anyone like Mr Bean?

No.
He was annoying.

One of his films was quite funny.
I didn't find him funny.

MIMICS MR BEAN
SPEAKING GIBBERISH

Why didn't he ever talk?

He got really annoying, didn't he?
Yeah.

In his little car.
Oh, he was quite cute, bless him.

Do you think he had a wife and kids
in real life? What, Mr Bean?

Yeah. He's not pulling no-one
in real life, surely!

What do you mean?
He's a multimillionaire!

THEY LAUGH
Yeah, but he's Mr Bean.

Yeah, but he always
doesn't look like Mr Bean.

I reckon he's a bit like Mr Bean
in real life.

There's no way
you can be that good at acting.

LAUGHTER

This is a good question.
What'd be your stripper name?

Right, stripper name.
I think you'd be a good stripper.

Do you reckon?
Yeah. Thanks, girls!

Stephanie.
Stephanie?!

What?!

It's gotta be,
like, something funky.

Mine would be Elektra.
That's a good one.

Yeah, that'd be my stripper name.
It's my alter ego.

Mine would be Melody.

No, that's weird.

Ruby.

Ruby-Ru.

Stacey.

LAUGHTER
No! Stacey?!

Stacey Slater.
Stacey!

"I'm a slag!" or whatever she said.

"I wasn't just a slag,
I was a total slag!"

LAUGHTER

IAIN STIRLING: 'I'm getting
a T-shirt printed with that on.

' "Get out of my villa!" '

'At the beginning of the week,

'things got tense
between Ekin-Su and Amber,

'and they had it out
on the beanbags.

Being honest with you,

how you've been acting
the last couple of days

has made me question you saying...

You're trying to create shit
right now. I'm being genuine!

'Thankfully, the boys stepped in
and tried to calm things down.

'Yeah, right (!)

'Pass the popcorn, and check out
this very exclusive unseen bit.'

DAVIDE: Shall we...
Shall we take some popcorn?

Yeah, that's what we've said.
Get the popcorn out.

Let's go, please. I'm sorry.
It's a side that I thought...

What side?
Oh, my God, you're making the laugh!

You're playing a bit of a game.
Oh, I'm playing a game?

You dwell in the drama...
Am I playing a game, or are you?

I'm definitely playing a game (!)

Cos you're really secure
in your relationship.

Feet up, boys.

All be in the same position,
just watching this.

All with our foot up.
LAUGHING

Other way, other way!

Which way, which leg?
Other way, other leg!

THEY LAUGH
Chill, chill, chill, chill!

Darling, if you can't have
a nice conversation,

it's always gotta be an argument.

EKIN-SU: This isn't nice.
You're attacking my personality.

Of course I'm gonna say that
back to you.

Behind the scenes on Love Island.

Ekin-Su versus the girls.

The big brawl.

I'm not attacking you!

Girls always just go
round and round,

instead of just listening
to each other.

More circles than a roundabout
at the minute.

Just fucking go straight!
I think you're being fake.

I'm the only one
that's being honest about it.

Paige has had enough.
She's going to sleep.

It's unfair to just blame it
completely on Amber,

because I think
some of the other girls

have seen a little bit
of a difference as well. Thank you.

Well, why don't you speak up, then?
We're speaking up now.

'Ey, there's more shots fired here.

We see sometimes a genuine side,

and sometimes a side
that we think's questionable.

I think you're calculated,
and you know what you're doing.

There's more shots on target here
than the Champions League final,

I'm telling you!

But it's unfair
to just go on Amber...

Front row seats.

Mate, these are worth more
than the Tyson Fury

and Dillian Whyte fight, mate.
I'm telling you.

All we need now is Iain Stirling
right next to us now,

commentating live.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Nah, I think you're
managing perfectly well on your own.

'Here's an exclusive peek
into a very cheesy conversation

'between the girls.'

I love cheese.

What kind of cheese do you like -
moist or creamy cheese?

Creamy!

I do like, just more, like, a...

Oh, I need to let some energy out,
and I don't know what to do.

I need to let some energy out,
and I don't know what to do!

'But what you really
want to know is...'

'Stay tuned. It's a "Gouda" one!'
HE CHUCKLES

' "Brie" right back.'

IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome
to Love Island: Unseen Bits,

'where we like to flip the main show
on its head...'

Oh!

'..show you all the close shaves
you didn't see...'

You feel it?
Mm, yeah.

'..and hand you
all the best unearthed gems.'

Ours is the same.
No, yours is different to mine.

Mine is...
Whoa! What?

They're all the same.
Why have I got a...?

Yours is so different, Dami.

What do you mean?
Ours kinda almost looks similar.

Ours look really similar, yeah.

What are mine?

You have, like...
Hers is kind of closer to yours.

You are mandem for real, bro!

'Before the break, we left the girls

'discussing their favourite
types of cheese.'

I love cheese.

What kind of cheese do you like -
moist or creamy cheese?

Creamy!

I do like just, like, more like a...
I need to let some energy out.

SHE RAPS:
# I need to let some energy out

# And I don't know what to do
Bum-ba-da-bum-ba-da-bum-ba-da-num

# Kada-kada-kada-kada-kada-kada
Kada-kada-kada-kada-kada-kada! #

I feel like we've lost our plot.
I feel like we've lost our minds.

Do you just wanna scream?

Aaah, bitch, say what?!

'Actually, I'm not sure
what happened there,

'but I suspect it was
cheese-related.

'Oh, "Briehave", Gemma!

'In the next unseen clip,

'Luca and Jacques
are getting a geography lesson,

'and Jacques' undercarriage
gets a bit of a readjustment.'

Does Guernsey
have its own fucking flag?

Yeah.
Pfft! What?!

Yeah, we do. So does Jersey.

But we're part of the UK.
So, Guernsey FC will play in...

If you've got your own flag,
though, you're not English.

Yeah, we are.
Well, you're not.

LAUGHTER

You don't even live in England,
mate.

"Well, you're not."
So, you don't live in England?

No, I live in Guernsey.

So, if someone says,
"What country are you from?",

where do you say? I say I'm from
a little island called Guernsey.

Do you have an English passport?
No, no, no.

It's part of the UK.

So, I'm British citizen.
So, where is Guernsey?

A little island off England.
Where?

Near Portsmouth.
Like, in-between England and France.

So, you could be closer to France?

I'm way closer to France
than England.

Really?
Yeah.

So you're more French!
So you're French!

Nah!
What the fuck?

Mon soir, mon soir!
Bonjour!

We all speak English, and
we're part of the United Kingdom.

What food do they have over there?
What do you mean?

Baguettes!
Is there a lot of baguettes?

There are baguettes.
It's French, it's French!

Please get this on fucking TV.
He's French!

'You might be laughing, Jacques,
but you're the one

'with a French name
you can't pronounce.'

IAIN: 'Having decided
that Guernsey is part of France,

'geographers Luca and Jacques

'have found their way over
to Paige and Danica

'to share their discovery.'

Is Andrew from England?

Yeah.
No, he's from France.

He's French.

Yeah, but he's between them both.

No, he's nearer to France, and
the names of the roads are French.

OK, what's the capital of Spain,
then?

BOTH: Madrid.

Oh.

They don't have a clue.

Rome was in my head,
but now I remember that's Italy.

Rome?! That's Italy.

Mate, we're the smartest here.
Ask us again, another question.

Capital of Germany?

Berlin.
Yeah.

I had Hamburg in my head,
but no, Berlin.

OK, what about Iceland?

Iceland?
I know this one.

Whey!

Poundstretcher.

LAUGHTER

It's "Re-ju-vi-neck".

So you're not that good
at geography, then.

We're saying
we're the smartest here.

No, with warm countries.
Warm countries.

Give us another warm country.

Er... We'll have to answer
at the same time. Greece.

I know this.
Kos.

No. Athens.

Yeah.
Are you sure?

It is Athens, isn't it?

It was either one or the other,
wasn't it?

You could name anything right now.
Go on, another one.

Well, how many countries
are there in the world?

52.
No.

Oh, no, that's weeks in the year,
isn't it?

LAUGHTER

This guy is funny, man. 52?
Dami, do you know?

It's more than 52. Definitely.
Luca, what are you saying?

Me and Jacques
are the smartest here.

Smartest here between you guys?

Me and Jacques are
the smartest people in the villa.

In the villa?
Yeah, all of that, bro.

IAIN: 'Nicely done, Dami.'

'Here on Unseen Bits, we like
to tackle all the big questions,

'and in this unseen bit,

'Gemma is sizing up one of the great
philosophical questions of our age.'

Would you rather have
a massive willy or a six-pack?

Would I rather have a massive willy
or a six-pack?

Obviously a massive cock,
what the fuck? Yeah, dick, surely?

No, I'd rather have a six-pack.
No, a dick.

What? If I was a boy,
I'd rather a body like Jay

than having, like,
a massive schlong.

Well, it's usually the ones
with bodies like that

do have a small schlong.
Mm...

Big dick, sorry.
Yeah, you can get abs.

That can't grow.
Hmm...

Yeah, exactly.
Fair enough.

Any other questions?
No, that's it.

Ask me a questions that you've
always wanted to ask a girl,

but you never have.

Oh, I usually just ask them.
What?

Yeah, just ask 'em, yeah.
Erm...

Would you rather the best sex
of your life for three months

or be in a really good relationship
for a year?

Best relationship for a year.

Relationship for a year.

No, best sex for three months,

cos you're only gonna be
more heartbroken.

Three months of unbelievable sex?
Yeah. Fucking hell.

What is the big question?

Best sex of your life
for three months,

or best relationship for a year.

But then if you had
a really good relationship,

then the best relationship
is the best sex.

Best sex for three months...
Let's just do the sex.

That's kind of what kept me
and my ex together, was our sex.

I'll start to resent you
after a while.

And then I'll just end up
really getting pissed off.

LUCA: I'll make it good.

But it's just fucking shit
if they're shit.

No. I feel like sex
is quite a mental thing, though.

Like, if you like someone,
the sex is better.

Yeah.
Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, that's true.

Would you rather have big feet
or big hands?

Oh, I'm fucked...
Big hands.

..I've got big hands and big feet.

I'd rather have small feet.
You have got small feet, babe.

No, but, like, four or fives.

My mate's... One of the boys at
football, he gets all kids' sizes.

Yeah, that's what I was saying.

IAIN STIRLING:
'Luca's tiny-footed friend,

'if you're watching this, we want
to see your feet, so send us a DM.'

SHE SCREECHES

'There's a buzz in the air.

'It's the return
of an Unseen Bits classic.'

There's fly in here,
and it keeps touching my face!

Ugh!

THEY ROAR,
HE SCREAMS

LAUGHTER

'Eh, that's not right.

'Looks like we're gonna have to
tweak the graphic bit.

'It's...'

THEY ROAR,
EKIN-SU SCREAMS

LAUGHTER

Cream on my face, do my make-up.

THEY ROAR,
INDIYAH SCREAMS

LAUGHTER

THEY ROAR

'Actually, let's just make it...'

DAVIDE: You didn't even
scare me at all.

'Here is an unseen clip of
the Islanders discussing techniques

'on how to form
a deeper sense of attraction.'

Do you believe in
the law of attraction? I do.

It's vibrations. Very important.

What's that? What's that?

Law of attraction?
Thoughts become things.

Yeah. Ask, believe and receive.

What you envision and what you
believe becomes your reality.

Yeah, I get the premise, like,

if you start to act the way
that you already have something,

and you start to believe it,
then eventually you get it.

I agree.

It's like the law of vibrations
as well.

Like, if you start
to vibrate the same way

as what you're trying to attract...
What? What would you try to vibrate?

They say, like, everything vibrates.

Everything's got
their own vibration pattern. Yeah.

# I'm pickin' up
Good vibrations... #

You start to match
what you're trying to attract. Yeah.

IAIN STIRLING: 'OK, let me try this.
What do I want to attract?

'Oh, er... Oh, I feel it!
I think something is manifesting.

'I can feel the vibrations
coming through from the other side!'

PROLONGED FART

No way!
Dami, man, you shit yourself?

No, that's just a fart, man.

'I don't think anyone's attracted
to that vibration, Dami.'

EERIE MUSIC PLAYS

'It might seem like
an ordinary evening in the villa.

'Islanders are wandering the garden
aimlessly.

EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES

'Chilling on the beanbags.

'Snacking in the kitchen.

'Get ready for the scare
of your lives, Islanders, because...

'I know what you did this summer!'

INDIYAH SCREAMS
No...

What was that?
That was only a little scream.

INDIYAH SCREAMS

INDIYAH GIGGLES NERVOUSLY
No!

What's going on?
No...

SCREAMING

Are you all right?
SCREAMING

What? Who is it?

Indiyah?
Why was she screaming?

INDIYAH SCREAMS

What?!
What the fuck are you doing?

Indiyah!

What the fuck?
What the fuck?

There's a lizard!

Oh, my God!

Oh, God, literally,
you gave me a flippin' heart attack!

What is it?
WILD SCREAMS

What is it?
SCREAMING CONTINUES

Everyone was...
No!

Like, I couldn't get out.
Like, it was literally by the door.

Right, right...

Take it to the girls.

No! No-o-o-o!

SCREAMING
No! No!

No!

There's nothing...
nothing in their hands, like.

There's nothing even in their hands.
Why are you screaming, bro?

It's not funny!
How did you buy that, though?

'Jacques and Luca
running out the loo

'without washing their hands
is enough to scare anyone.

BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAM

'Speaking of running to the toilet,
I've really gotta go!

'See you after the break.'
TOILET FLUSHES

# So let's go somewhere
No-one else can see

# You and me... #

IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island: Unseen Bits...'

# Drink, drink it if you can
Can you spend a little time? #

'..the programme that shows you
the other side of your Islanders.'

# Feeling me, I can make

# Make you glad you came... #
Hey, hey, hey, get it!

'We've got
all the highs and lows...'

Oh, my God!

Look at this height difference.
I can't even deal.

'..the fallouts...'

# I'm glad you came... #

'..and the celebrations.'

THEY SING: # The sun goes down
The stars go out

# And all I know
Is here right now

# My universe will never be the same

# I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came

# Bum-bum-ba da-da dun
Do-do-do-doo... #

IAIN STIRLING: 'Calm down, boys,

'we have loads more unseen bits
for you.'

# The sun goes down
The stars come out... #

LUCA: The public have been voting

for their favourite girl
and their favourite boy.

IAIN STIRLING:
'And the Great British public

'chose to send home...'

Ikenna.

'..and...'

Amber.

I'm gonna miss you.
Bye.

# My universe will never be the same

# I'm glad you came
I'm glad you came, came... #

What the hell?!

IAIN STIRLING: 'Dami and Indiyah's
universe just wasn't the same

'without Amber and Ikenna.

'So the Islanders cheered them up
with a game of balloon dares.'

"Which Islander would you most like
to spend a night

"in The Hideaway with?"

I don't have a partner. So...

you.

"Snog your favourite Islander."
CHEERING

IAIN STIRLING:
'It's the most fun you can have

'with two people
and a little piece of rubber.

'So, here's all the unseen bits
you didn't get to see.'

Whoo!

Forgot the balloon, bro.

Whoo!

THEY LAUGH,
BALLOON POPS

"Have an arm wrestle

"with the Islander you think
is your biggest competition." Luca.

Go on, Danny Zuko.
Let's go, mate.

LAUGHTER

Dami, go on. Tap us in, lad.

Three, two, one, go.

Keep your hand
on the fucking floor.

Oh.
Shall I go? Let me go.

Pfft.

LAUGHTER

Fucking hell!

BALLOON POPS,
THEY GASP

Oh, game over, right there.
Game over.

BALLOON POPS

I think it's the one on your floor.

Is it the one behind you?
Yeah, try that one.

Oh, it's definitely the one on
the left. Yeah, maybe on the left.

Behind you. Behind you.

There, there, there. There.

Yeah, yeah - no.

Next to your...
This one?

Fucking hell. D'you want me glasses?

"Which... Island..."
How do you say it again? Islander?

Islander.
Icelanders.

LAUGHTER

IAIN STIRLING: 'After all those
balloon shenanigans,

'the Icelanders -
oops, I mean Islanders -

'took the opportunity
to just hang out around the villa.'

Aw!

'And we saw this romantic moment.'

You act well in front of a crowd.
That's good.

Act well in front of a crowd?
Yeah. I can still do it privately.

Oh, really?
You know, some people act tough...

# You could fall
For a thousand kings... #

KISSING

IAIN STIRLING: 'A little unseen fact
for you super-fans.

'Those were not the real sounds
of Indiyah and Dami kissing.

'It was actually the sound of Jay
drinking milk out of the carton.

'Oi, have you no manners, man?!'

HE GULPS

'I hope you're not gonna
put that back in the fridge!

'Did you know that over a million
people a year travel to Florence

'to wonder at the chiselled
perfection of Michelangelo's David?

'Well, in this unseen clip,
six people are wondering

'at the beauty
that is Iain Stirling's Davide.'

Davide, your tan, what the hell?
That's what I said, he's so dark!

Do you think?
I don't think, I mean...

ALL AGREEING
You think I'm dark?

He's definitely winning.
You're winning right now.

You do sit there tanning, like...

I love to sit under the sun.

I bet if he takes his boxers off,
they're a different colour.

Oh, my God.
You just want 'em off.

I'm just curious about the colour.
It's not that dark.

Yeah, he's actually tensing.
I'm not tensing.

I just finished the workout.

Can you show us a tense?

Depends which mus-kel.
SHE SCOFFS

Which one? He's got hundreds!

Can you do the body-builder poses?

I don't like to do
body-builder poses.

Just do, just flex a little,
just show off a bit.

Go from over there.
Give us your cup.

Do us an actual show.
Go over there,

walk over like you're walking
in a body-building competition.

Oh, guys, I don't feel it.
ALL: Oh, come on!

Get a clap going for him.

ALL: Davide, Davide, Davide, Davide!

THEY CLAMOUR

What do you want?
CHEERING

Go on, pretend you're in a fight,
go "Rargh!"

THEY WHOOP AND CHEER

Tense the front.

No, we said tense.
Wow! Aooow!

Tense the boobs. The boobs.

Ooh!

Come on!

ALL CHEERING

That's your party trick.

IAIN STIRLING: 'No, his party trick

'is actually cracking a walnut
between his bum cheeks.

'But the body-building
is very impressive.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Davide
might look good enough to eat,

'but in Luca's eyes,
Gemma is the tastiest Islander.

'Warning -
this clip contains toe jobs.'

Your big toe is so small.

I prefer your right foot, I'd say.

Why do you prefer that one?

I think that's the nice one.

They're the same.

Massage my feet.

Weird when boys like to suck
people's toes and that, innit?

Not really.
Yeah, it is.

SHE GIGGLES

You're weird.

Were you about
to suck her toes, then?

You're disgusting.

He's just been doing it
for the last five minutes.

He's just getting stage fright.

I have not done it.
Not done what?

Sucked her toes.
You were about to.

I would not suck her toe.
Would you not? No.

Have you ever sucked a girl's toes?

Luca, don't get embarrassed
in front of people.

Do you like it?
Yeah. No, you don't.

What, I'm just massaging them.

EKIN-SU: I'm getting jealous now.

ANDREW: After a shower,
after a shower.

After a shower,
I'd get right in those toes!

Again.
No.

Suck her toe, mate.

SHE GIGGLES

Aw!
Busted.

That's cheating.
Luca wants to suck your toe.

He's enjoying it, though!
It's the second bite already.

That might spoil your dinner.

SHRIEKING

That's grim, that.
IAIN STIRLING: 'I've seen Islanders

'putting their foot in their mouth
before, but never someone else's.

'I feel a bit sick.

'Before we head off to the break,
here's an unseen clip

'of the Islanders
hanging out on the beanbags.'

Indiyah!

'See you in a mo.'

# Whoa oh-oh-oh

# Last thing that you'll hear

# Whoa oh-oh-oh... #

IAIN STIRLING: 'Welcome back
to Love Island: Unseen Bits,

'which, like Davide's white bits,
are usually ignored,

'on account of there being loads
of other amazing bits to look at.

'But we've got all the laughs...'

SHE LAUGHS GOOFILY

I need, like, a, like,
a hole in this tooth. Yeah.

SHE LAUGHS GOOFILY

'..all the looks...'

Oh, I've gotta stop buying
all this black shit on my eyes.

It looks fucking awful
when I take it off!

Then don't.
THEY LAUGH

What do you mean...?
I look like the fucking Joker!

'..and all the swagger.'

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

# There's no today

# Wish I could tell you
I still feel the same... #

OK. Oh, yeah!

IAIN STIRLING:
'Before we dive headfirst

'into some more unseen clips,
here's the answer

'to our Indiyah
ad-break cliffhanger.

'What DID happen next?'

Indiyah, is the pizza burnt?

Oh, my God, the pizza!

Jesus!

I totally forgot.

Oh, my God!

INDIYAH SCREAMS AND LAUGHS

Fucking Indiyah. I was... Oh, no.
I was looking forward to that.

Oh, we're gonna have to
put a different one in now.

No. No, we're not,
we'll just have it burnt.

Oh, no, yeah, we'll have it burnt.

Oh, it's REALLY burnt, though.

Maybe with a bit of, like, ketchup,
it'll be fine.

I might have to
eat with a knife and fork,

I think it'll break my teeth.
LAUGHTER

Oh, God.
Here, taste it.

LAUGHTER

IAIN STIRLING: 'There's not
a problem ketchup can't solve.'

Right, I want another bit.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Luca and Jacques
are a romantic pair,

'but also desperately
looking for brownie points.

'Cue Operation: Treat Our Girls
How They're Meant to Be Treated.'

Yeah, we need you
on the sun loungers. Are you joking?

You're booked in, mate.

And this is your milkshake, as well.
Oh, thank you.

This is cute.
So, I've picked your sun lounger,

and we'll be over.

How long have you paid for?

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, wow.

SHE GROANS
I'm finding it really hard to relax.

I'm stressed!

Are you enjoying it, then?

You're not actually bad at it,
to be fair.

You're in Mallorca,
just enjoy yourselves.

I've put too much on.
LAUGHTER

I feel like you're after something.

Yeah, what are you gonna ask us
after this?

We're just treating women
how they should be treated.

Yeah, exactly.
Oh, shut up, you two.

Why do you not trust us?
I don't understand.

No, we're just doing nice things.
And we do this on most occasions.

It's just we've had
some time today to do it.

Should we name 'em?

What? My boobs?
What would you name them?

Ben and Jerry.

I do like Ben and Jerry ice cream,
though.

You're not naming my boobs
"Ben and Jerry".

Jacques...

What is it?

It's full-on chocolate.
He's just rubbed it...

Oh, no, Luca, what the hell?

A massage
is supposed to be relaxed.

Yeah, I'm extremely relaxed (!)

Yeah, and me (!)
I don't think you appreciate it.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Oh, yes,
a big drum roll, please, for...

'Antigoni,
who turned up the next morning

'expecting a Thai massage
and a Brazilian.'

# Say hello
To the new world winner

# I'm the queen of them all... #

'But all she got was an Italian,
a Scot and an Irishman.'

Morning.
What?! Whoa!

Hi. I'm Jay, nice to meet you.

Antigoni, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.

IAIN STIRLING:
'Did you catch that, Jay?

'It's An-tig-oh-knee.

'And you, girls.'

The new girl...

Oh! What's her name, again?
Antigoni. Antigoni.

Antigoni.
Antigoni.

Honestly,
where have you found all of us?

Not all of us, but...
Antig... Antigoni.

I've never heard that name before,
but it's a lovely name.

I love that. Is it Antignea?
Antigoni.

Should we just
see if she likes ants?

Or Tiggy.

Tiggy's cute.
Why would she like ants?

No, I'm joking.

IAIN STIRLING:
'I've got an Auntie Joanie,

'but that sounds way less sexy.

IAIN STIRLING: 'There
was definitely a buzz in the air

'following Antigoni's arrival.

'And she wasted no time picking
three boys to go on a date with.

'And here are some unseen bits
from those fruity dates.'

Do you cook?
Yeah, I'm a good cooker.

Are you? What's your...?

I can cook everything.
Can you?

Shall I teach you some Greek?
All right, go on.

You don't wanna learn some Greek?

Yeah, tell me something.
OK, say...

Wait, I knew something in Greek.

Is it gonna be something stupid?
Yeah, it was something stupid.

Let me guess, malaka.

Yeah.

Everyone says that word.

Guess you'd better send my next date
through. All right. Who's next?

Oh! I lost my pineapple.

King of the jungle.

I saw you earlier, you looked good.
But now you look even better.

Do I?
Yes, I like this combo.

You like the green?
You prefer the green to the blue?

Yeah, yeah.
It brings out, like, your eyes.

My eyes are blue.
No, they're not. They're not blue.

LAUGHTER

But, you know, nice try.

I'm, like, kind of...

Yeah, like I said, I just...

Oh, shit!
Big beastie.

Like, if I fancy somebody,
like, I just want to kiss them.

SHE LAUGHS
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ultimately...

Mm... Hint, hint! Hint, hint!

Er, no, I wasn't hinting. Dami!

I'm hearing some hints there.
Mm-hm.

Hey, tranquilo, tranquilo,
tranquilo.

LAUGHTER

Erm, but you know what I mean? Like,
there's an initial attraction there,

but we'll have to...
Yeah. We'll have to see.

Man, kiss her. Just kiss her.

Actually, he's so jarring.

BOTH LAUGH

BOTH: Cheers!

Thank you.

Give you a kiss.

Are you giving me
an Italian-style two-kiss?

Yeah.

Oh.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Back in the villa,

'what are the girls
gonna chat about?

'Well, here are some unseen bits
about their nice, clean bits.'

There's nothing better than, like,
when you're going on a date,

going to meet somebody, you've got
a little appointment or whatever

it is, and you literally...
you do that day where you,

from head to toe...
Yes, wax. You are smooth.

You do the foot mask,
you do the facemask, the hair...

You do everything.

Just the cleanest.
Then you just get ready.

And then you never have sex.
That's really awks, innit?

You get all ready,
and then you're like, "Oh...

"I've just prepared myself
for nothing." Have you had that?

I had a time, yeah,
where I've done all of that,

and then we've had to reschedule,
and then I'm like, "Are you..."

I don't wanna...
I don't want to do it!

I'd have another one going.
I'd be like, "Next!"

Forget it. Forget it. I actually
cannot wait till tomorrow.

You don't understand! I was
cocked up in the shower like this!

Yes, literally... For you!
..my leg cocked up for you.

Oh, fucking hell.
Mm-mm.

Nah.
All they do is, like...

They just get in the shower.

Yeah, maybe clean their ball sack.

Yeah, just about.
Ifs.

Literally.
Yeah.

They don't even shave, most of them.
They just trim.

I've never met a guy
who's completely bald down there.

To be fair, I wouldn't want
my guy to be bald.

I think, like, trimmed.
Yeah.

Trimmed, but not...
I don't mind it if he is, though.

Bar the...
Yeah.

I'd rather... I'd rather be, like,
shaven than, like, really hairy,

but I just think some young hairs...
Yeah. ..is fine.

I don't want you to be like
a baby's bum down there. Trimmed.

You know, at the end of the day,
you're not having sex with a girl.

It's meant to be a boy, but manly.

Yeah!
ALL AGREE

Obviously not, like, rainforest,
but, like, just...

LAUGHING: Rainforest!
..a neat trim is fine.

As long as it's presentable
and it's not smelly.

IAIN STIRLING:
' "Presentable and not smelly"

'used to be my Tinder profile.'

GAME SHOW MUSIC

'It's the item
everybody's talking about...

'Islanders, ready!

'Three, two, one...

'It's Beach Hut Bonanza!'

Hello.

Yeah, go on, then.

IAIN STIRLING: 'And this week,
we asked our Islanders

'to give us their best
celebrity impressions.'

No, I can't do any!

This is my one thing I cannot do,
celebrity impressions.

SHE SCREAMS

OK, OK. Oh...

SHE GASPS
Oh...

I don't have a celebrity impression!
OK, I've got one, I've got one.

Well, I am a celebrity now.

So, I've got a celebrity,
he's a really old man,

but I can't remember his name.
He's that old.

My mum used to be -

she doesn't really do
the cooking thing so much any more,

but she is technically
a celebrity chef.

Oh, fu...
Who the hell am I supposed to do?

AS HER MOTHER: Hi! I'm Tonia Buxton,

and welcome to My Greek Kitchen.

AS MARLON BRANDO IN THE GODFATHER:
I used to believe in you

and you, you...

you left me.

There's no way I'm gonna do my dad,
but people always do the classic,

"Oh, if they don't score,
then they don't win."

Or something like that.
Fucking bullshit, whatever.

OK, this is my Gino D'Acampo.

AS SEAN CONNERY: Hello,
Pussy Galore. Shaken, not stirred.

AS GINO D'ACAMPO:
So, if my grandmother had wheels,

she would have been a bike.

AS ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER:
Get to the chopper!

And then, what else does he do?
He has another, don't he?

I'll be back.

Megan McKenna did something like...

Hang on, what does she say?
When I wanna... I'll talk...

when I wanna t...
when I wanna speak to you...

when I wanna talk to you,
I'll talk to you.

When I wanna say something to you,
I'll say something to you.

When I wanna say something to you,

I'll say something to you,
so shut up!

Or, she's like,

"I'm hungry! I'm so fucking hungry!"

I've attempted a Tina Turner,
but it doesn't turn out very well.

David Attenborough.
Love Island edition.

The two... Islanders...
are on the beanbags.

Right, can I do Iain Stirling?

"Tonight..."

No, that's not it at all!

AS DAVID ATTENBOROUGH:
The male summons the female

with his mating call...

of sipping on his water bottle.

There we are.
That's all you're having.

Make sure you don't edit me
to look like an idiot.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Tune in next week
for another edition of...

'And finally,
Ekin-Su wants the last word.'

Alexa...

IAIN: 'Play Barbie Girl by Aqua.

'Hopefully,
this '90s diamond of pop annoyance

'will be playing out in households
up and down the country.'

LAUGHTER

'See you all next week!'