Love Island (2015–…): Season 7, Episode 52 - Episode 45 - full transcript

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

MUSIC: 'All You Need Is Love'
by Brandi Carlile

IAIN STIRLING: 'Previously...
on Love Island...'

# Love, love, love... #

'..the villa was in turmoil.'

Don't ask me a question
if you're not ready for my answer.

It is, though. Aaron's my type
to a T on the outside.

And you're pissing me off now!

Bruv, why have you got
so much to say there,

but when it's down there,
you can't say nothing?

# All you need is love, love... #
Jesus Christ.



# Love is all you need. #

'Tonight...'

'The babies... are back.'

WARPED LULLABY

BABY CRYING
I don't know what to do.

Oh, my God!

'And one more couple...

'must leave.'

WARPED LULLABY

'As the seconds tick down
on the Islanders' time in paradise,

'they're all wondering,
"What does my future hold?

' "Where will I be next?
What new experience awaits me?"

'And the short answer to all
those questions is... Loose Women.'

Like, it's crazy, like,
no matter what, in a week's time,



we'll all be home.
KAZ: I know. Literally.

I can't believe it.
I don't want it to end now.

Yeah.
I literally don't want it to end.

I want to go on and on and on.
Well, actually, no.

I would like to see
my family and friends, but...

I want my mum now.
Yeah.

I think I'm ready for my family now.

Do you know what, though,
like, I've learnt...

I've learnt a lot about myself.
I've learnt to stand up for myself.

Yeah.
I've learnt to, you know,

question what things I think should
be questioned and overcome them.

I've been me, and I've been happy,
and, you know what,

I've made some great friends.
You know?

And I'm literally had
the best experience of my life.

Yeah.
So that's the main thing.

I love that.

Faye's back.

Shall I call her over here
and include her in the chat, or not?

I don't want her to feel like
she can't be around me,

or I can't be around her at all,
do you know what I mean?

Yeah.
Yeah, you know what,

I'm gonna do it.
Yeah.

Hey, babe.

I just wanted to say, like,
I didn't want there to be any, like,

bad vibes or tension,
I just wanna hand the olive branch,

and I don't want you
to feel like you can't come round me

or I can't come round you and...

No. We can just be happy
and get on with things.

I'm happy, and I'll
get on with things, and that's...

I'm here for that.
OK, good.

Um... Obviously, no-one
will understand how I feel

past the vote
because no-one's in my situation.

Yeah.
It hurt more than, probably,

than I will ever let on.
OK, yeah.

And I don't feel like
that's really been, like,

appreciated with the girls.
I don't think it's really, like...

I don't think anyone's
really taken on board how I feel,

for every single one of your OGs

to have voted that your relationship
isn't compatible.

I would rather people
not now blow smoke up my arse.

I don't want to blow smoke
up your arse.

It is what it is.
It is what it is.

We don't have to be friends,
just whatever.

So I'm not gonna sit around
and pretend, like,

I'm OK with everything.
That's fine, babe.

I'm big enough and ugly enough,
and old enough,

to be able to remove myself from it.
OK, babe.

I don't need those vibes.

Obviously, I'll be fine
with all of you lot,

it's not something
I'm not gonna be fine with you with.

OK, good.
But we're clearly not friends,

but it's not from my perspective,
that's what I mean. Like...

OK.
..it's not from me

because I did have...
Unfortunately, maybe I was too nice.

I was too nice in the vote,
and I should have probably

done it a different way,
but I didn't, and that's on me.

That's not on anyone else.
All right, so, civil?

Always.
Good.

I'm civil with everyone.
Good. All right, babe.

No bad blood. Fine.

'Oh, it makes me so angry

'seeing someone
unnecessarily stirring things up.

'Faye, that is no way to treat
a teabag, it's not just civil.'

I can deal with confrontation
and stuff like that, it's whatever.

But what you see
is what you get with me.

Yeah.
If I'm happy, I'm happy.

If I'm not, I'm not,
and you will know.

I don't even have to say,
you'll know. I'm like... "Ugh."

But then, like, stuff like tonight,
like, that was funny

and obviously the roast, we all...
We got a roasting.

That's for us. But for me,
it's like, "Ha-ha, cool, cool."

But it's not that deep.
No.

I'm never gonna be like... "Why did
you say that? Why did you say that?"

Yeah, but if we was
to say that about them on a roast,

a little bit different.
Yeah.

But that's... And this
is what I mean when I say, like,

everyone's just different,
and that's fine.

But, like, we are not the same.
Nah.

We are not the same type of people.

The thing is, like,
I know her intentions,

I know how she thinks,
and I know how she moves.

And for me, I'll be civil with her
and that's fine,

but I offered my olive branch
to be OK with her

and she didn't want it,
and that's that.

It's crazy how friendships
and enemies work, man.

It is, innit?
Crazy.

Yeah, but the truth will out
in the end.

KAZ GIGGLES

MUSIC: 'One Foot In Front
Of The Other' by Griff

# I didn't think I'd get back up

# I didn't think
I'd be all right again... #

Yeah, needed, weren't it, Lib?

Yeah, pucker. Restored the balance.

Yeah, I feel like everyone's
just cleared the air.

# And you'll probably never realise
Or never even know... #

Liam was like, "Let's do a duet."

I was like,
"Have you heard my voice?"

FAYE: Aw! He done so well.
Didn't he? Everyone did really well.

# Without you, I can't put
One foot in front of the other today

# I stretched my arms out wide
And it felt real strange... #

MARY: Do you know what
I'm not talented at?

Putting bobbles in my hair without
getting all the shit stuck in them.

Surely football people understand
that we're not freestylers.

I don't actually think I care.

Love you, bro!
Love you, bro!

Love you, sis!
Love you, sis.

I mean...
What? What the fuck?

# Oh, yeah
I'm coming for you, babe... #

Night, Libs.
Night-night, guys. Love you all.

Night, Ted, night, Faye,
night, Aaron, night, Mary.

Night!

# I didn't think I'd be OK.

# Cos you know
It's easy when you're young

# Bounce back and whatever

# You just bounce back
Like it never happened... #

'Still to come...
it's time for baby talk.'

BABIES CRYING
Can you hear that?

BABIES CRYING

IAIN STIRLING: 'As morning arrives,

'it is time for the return
of a Love Island classic.

'Yes, the babies are back.

'This bit of the show has given me
some very misleading information.

'I recently spent three hours
with my own baby

'trying to work out
how to change the batteries.'

You hear that? I hear a baby.
Yeah, I can hear a baby.

Hear crying.
Wait, hold on. Shh.

CRYING STARTS

Babies.
Yeah!

# The night we met
I knew I needed you so... #

Come on, let's go get our baby.

FAYE: I'm not doing it.

# Every place we go... #

Yay!

# So won't you please, be my... #

We've got a little baby!

Unless there's a puppy,
I'm not fucking interested!

Come on, Faye.

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.

LAUGHTER
Little baby!

We have twins! Yes!

What is it?
A boy.

Yeah, we've got a boy!
CHEERING

It's a boy!

'Each couple has a baby,

'and, as ever, they have to feed it,
comfort it, change its nappy

'and frantically search
for good schools in the area.

'Just me, then?'

Oh-argh!

'At the end of the day,
the best parents win,

'while the worst parents

'have their details forwarded
to social services.'

CRYING

Where's the volume?
Can you turn the volume down?

# Be my little baby... #
We've got a kid. He's our baby!

BABY CRYING
Why won't it stop?

CRYING STOPS

Oh, my God. It shut up. Thank fuck.

You gave him, like, two sips.

You gave him two sips.
It's stopped now.

CRYING RESTARTS

He's only had... I told you.
He's had two sips.

Oh, my God.
He wants more.

CRYING STOPS
Shh!

It's gone off now.

FAINT CRYING

Oh, my God.

# Oh, oh, oh

# Oh, oh

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh... #

I didn't realise babies
can just pop out like that.

But... blessing in disguise.

# For every kiss you give me... #

CRYING

Right, Faye. Your turn.
I've had enough.

CRYING

Why's it so loud?

What are you doing to his head?

You're not supposed to touch the top
of a baby's head, apparently.

Are you not?

I don't think so.
They breathe from it.

Don't they breathe
from the top of their head?

What?! What are you talking about?

Both its feet are in the same leg.

And this little piggy went, "Whoo!"

There's a good boy, in't you?

Oh, my God.
There's a good boy!

Little baby!
Drink your bottie now.

Do you not want a buggy?
I'll carry him.

I'm an active father.

# Be my, be my baby... #

'Kaz put a hat on her baby's head.

'How's it gonna breathe,
for God's sake?

'Give it an air vent.

'Anyway, the next item
on the agenda is naming the babies.

'Iain is spelt with two 'I's
by the way. Just saying. Huh!'

Right, what have you guys
named your baby?

I think it's going to be called
Tommy cos he's a proper geezer.

Tommy? Like Tommy
out of the Peaky Blinders.

That's cute.
I was gonna do the Chipmunks.

Remember Alvin...?

We are not naming our baby
after one of the Chipmunks, Tyler.

What do you think this is?

LAUGHTER
What? Why not?

Aaron, why is the baby still crying?
CRYING

Jesus Christ.

I can't do this.

All right, give me a name.
I'm just gonna go with it.

I did. Nathan!
Our baby is called Nathan.

I don't like Nathan.

Janice.
No, I don't like Janice.

Why?
It'll be like Grandma Janice.

No. Not Janice.
I don't like Janice.

Not Janice. JAN-ice.

What's your baby called?

Sienna.
Sienna, cute name!

And she's gonna be called Si-Si
for short.

Cute!

I want his name to be Armani.

But he's not a designer baby.
I'm not going with a designer baby.

Can I name it after my brother,
Benjamin?

Ah, that's a nice name.
Benjamin is a nice name.

Tony.
Definitely not.

Or we could call her baby Remi.
Remi it is.

Sienna and Remi!

Hercules? Could call him Herc?
He needs a good name.

I always thought I'd have a boy.
I always thought I'd have a girl.

I want two boys and a girl.
I want two or five.

What?
Cos if you're going to have three,

you might as well have four.

If you're gonna have four,
you might as well have five.

Look, it's Uncle Liam
and Uncle Mills!

CHEERING

How are we? How's your mother?
She's all right.

Tell her pop round and see us soon.
TYLER: Say hi to Auntie Mills!

How many months now, Lib?
Fresh out the womb today.

Fresh out the womb today?

I'll pop round
a congratulations card.

Oh, thanks, Liam! Thank you!

She's a brave woman
to have Tommy pop out of her

cos he's a big fella.
He did some damage.

We're gonna have to...
SMACK, BABY CRIES

Oh!
Oh, there we go,

she's almost knocked him out
by smashing her wrist on his head.

TOBY: Fabrice?
Yeah?

You like that one?
No, obviously not.

Half a Welsh background,
and half an Essex background.

To me, he looks like a baby Jackson.

SHE GASPS
Baby Jackson Reardon.

BABY CRIES
Oh, he doesn't like it.

Oh, no!
Oh, no!

Harry. Jack...

BABY CRIES
John.

TOBY: Marley,
but we'll call him Marls.

Yeah.

OK, now what do we do?
Do you think he needs changing?

What if we sing it a lullaby, babe?
Yeah.

# It's not unusual... #
No, babe!

LAUGHTER

Sienna's asleep,
she's so well-behaved.

Is yours sleeping?

Yeah, she's just a sleeper.
Sleeps all day every day.

Don't wake her up.

No, look, the baby's watching us.

Baby Jackson's
watching Mummy and Daddy.

Now he can't see.

You're a good dad.

Had enough of that now.

BABY CRIES
No, Jackson!

Sorry, Jackson!
Jackson, we had an agreement!

BABY CRIES

IAIN: 'Faye hates
someone making a scene

'and disturbing the peace
in the villa,

'and Faye also hates irony!'

BABY CRIES

I've got a funny feeling that you...

are hungry. Something's telling me
you're hungry.

You hungry?
CRYING CONTINUES

FAYE EXHALES,
BABY SCREAMS

Ah, you beautiful little thing.
BABY CRIES

Oh, fuck.

BABY SCREAMS
Babe, I need help.

Don't you run upstairs!

LAUGHTER

SCREAMING CONTINUES

Being a parent's easy, isn't it?
I don't want to!

All right?

BABY SCREAMING

Oh, she's quick! Fuck!

Teddy, take that crying baby
out of here.

SCREAMING CONTINUES

It's all right. Shh, shh.

Maybe if I use this wine glass...
to support her head.

Ha-ha!

You've got a glass
supporting you daughter's head.

It's a plastic glass, come on.

BABY CRYING

Oh! Oh, it's a stinky one.

I'm tired... I'm tired.

And I'm tired.

Mummy's had a hard morning, she has.

I'm gonna leave you right here.

She's popped you out,
and look at you now.

You're here with the best dad
in the world.

You've gotta spend time
with your mum.

You're gonna have to spend some time
with your mum.

I know you don't like her,
but you know what,

you're gonna have to.

BABY CRIES
Daddy's here.

Daddy's here.

I'm on my way upstairs.
Oh, look! Baby's upstairs.

Why? Won't leave me alone
for ten minutes.

Won't leave you alone!
We're having mothers' time.

I'm coming in here.

Yeah, erm...
Are you fucking serious?

No, Toby!
I've had him all morning!

Toby! Toby!
I'm getting ready.

You're gonna have to...
This must be a joke.

You have to get ready with him!

Toby, you can't bring the buggy up.
It's the no-buggy zone.

Yeah, so?
You're gonna have to deal with him.

Toby, I'm not doing that,
I need to get ready.

Get ready with him.
I need a shower! He wants to watch!

I need a shower.
He wants to watch!

I'll get ready, then you get ready.
You... Just chill with him.

No! I need to get ready.
He's your son!

It's peace and quiet zone.
He's your son. Prepare him for life!

I don't wanna be your baby's mum
any more. I don't like it.

OK, so what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna walk out?

You're gonna walk out on your baby?
I'm gonna leave it with you!

You gonna leave me and your baby?
Fuck this. Fucking baby!

BABY CRIES
Oh, fuck.

See what you've caused?

Oh, my God.
Deal with that!

BABY CRIES
Come on, come on, come on.

No, no, no, no.
You're all right, you're all right.

CRYING CONTINUES

No, no, no, no, no.

Ohh! Wah, wah.

Come on, you're going to Mumsy. I
don't know what she thinks this is.

Fucking holiday?

This is the third time
he's been fed today.

No, they drink for ages.
Oh, I hate it.

CHLOE: You hate it?
I've got a child with me now.

Yeah, nah.

Faye's petrified!

'Scuse me!

Yes! Yes!

Aww!
Not just me in this hellhole.

BABY CRIES

See you later. Babe, I really don't
want the fucking baby.

Don't give me it.
Please don't give me the baby.

You're having it.
I don't want it.

Sit here and get ready with Mum.

BABY CRIES

Love it. See you soon.

Faye, your baby needs to be quiet.
My baby's a prick!

Look at your mummy. She's coming.
I actually...

No, I need to get rid of...
Mummy's coming.

There you go, baby.

Ah, ah, aghhh!

You definitely get your dance moves
from your mum.

I'm trying to do my mascara!
Just shush!

What you doing?

Gonna take some pictures
with my baby.

Aww! OK.

Family picture.

SHUTTER CLICKS
Cute!

FAYE: I actually
don't have time for this.

Like, I don't have time
for this life.

I wanted to get his outfit.

Yes, you changed his trousers.

Yeah, cos he pooed himself.
Oh, OK.

THEY LAUGH,
SHUTTER CLICKS

Hey, baby.
Here's Mummy.

Hey! You letting me get ready?

We're just having a little bit
of Daddy-daughter time.

She's been a good girl.
I think we should get her changed.

Should we put her in this?

Cos it's daytime.
We don't want her to overheat.

I think she'll be really cute
in some pants, though.

My baby is not gonna be
round this villa in just a bikini.

I love so much
how happy you are with the baby.

She's definitely a daddy's girl.

Definitely a daddy's girl.
100% a daddy's girl.

Give the baby positive vibes,
he'll be a positive baby.

Where have you got
all these parenting skills from?

I don't know, life.
Ooh, deep.

Sorry.

You're a good boy, Marley.

And then he's gonna...
TEXT ALERT

Oh, God.
He's gonna be a good boy.

I got a text!

Marley's first text. I got a text!

READS ALOUD:

BOYS: Yes!

LIBERTY: Are you joking?

Yeah!
What the fuck?

Dads' holiday!

CHEERING

What the hell?

Baby Marley! Mwah!

How has that happened?

Marley, I'll have to see you later.
I'm actually a single mum.

This is a nightmare!
Please don't leave us.

I love you, but...
Babe, don't do...

I gotta go.
You just... Oh, my God.

I think boys
have had a lads' holiday,

and I think now it's time for a...

ALL: Dads' holiday!
CHEERING

Up the dads!

Who's played golf before, lads?
Yep.

I'm not too shabby.

I'm not too shabby.
They call me Teddy Woods.

I'm gonna miss the kid
and the missus, you know.

Yeah.
Missing the kids.

Yeah, I'm gonna miss the kid.
ALL LAUGH

Why have you all dressed like
actual dads right now?

Cos we're going on a dads' holiday.
My two babies!

HE HUMS

Oh, my God!
Ohh!

Oh, shit!

Look what you've done,
you've killed it!

BABY CRIES
Why have you done that?

# I'm crazy like a fool

# What about it, Daddy Cool? #

We out.

Bye, dads and uncles! Bye!

Bye!
No! Don't leave me!

Let's get out of here.
CHEERING

Freedom!
Never look back.

Freedom!
BABY CRIES LOUDLY

'Still to come...

'Faye's not feeling the love.'

How do you...?
What are you feeling about that?

Cos I'm fuming.
Fuming.

IAIN STIRLING:
'Having a baby is an incredible,

'profound experience like no other,

'and when it happens,

'there's one thing every new parent
wants to tell the world...'

I'm so tired.

Same! So tired already.

I'm gonna try and nap today.

We'll have to have a little nap
with the baby.

Doesn't it scare you, though,
that THIS will come out of HERE?

Yeah.
What the fuck?

No, don't say that to me, Faye.
Babe, our lives are ruined.

# I'm a rolling stone
Baby, come on

# Tell me what you like
Every night... #

Dads' holiday, then.
Yes!

LIAM: Missus back home,
got the kids. We got the golf clubs.

# You 'bout that lifestyle... #

Whoo!

# Everybody knows

# Diamonds ain't got nothing on you,
Oh, oh

# We 'bout that lifestyle

# Dollar, dollar bills
Baby, would you stay if I'm broke? #

CHEERING

# Lifestyle, lifestyle. #

BABY CRYING

Fuck me.
That noise, man...

Stressful.

BABY SCREECHING

Mine actually screams.

BABY CRYING
Shut up!

Oh, my God!

Why, when I'm busy, are you always
wanting to ruin my day?

Don't worry,
your dad will be home soon,

and you can go back to soft love.

I now understand the saying
"ball and chain".

This is it.

Marley!
BABY CRYING

Oh, come on, Marley. Oh, baby!

Aw... Oh!

Marley's arm's come off!
Marley's arm's come off!

OK, Benjamin, you just chill there.

BABIES CRYING

MILLIE LAUGHS

Marley's arm's fell off.

Marley's arm's fell off?

How the fuck did that happen?

Auntie Kaz has dislocated
your baby's arm.

I wouldn't trust her.
How the fuck did that happen?

I was trying to get Marley's buggy,
cos he was crying.

Right, do you wanna feed Benjamin?

BABIES CRYING

Toby launched him.
Right, feed Benjamin.

All right, Marley. All right, baby,
come on, let's fix you.

Boys, give it up for Tyler Woods!

CHEERING

You got this, bro.

Testing the wind.
LAUGHTER

Silence on the green.

LIAM SHOUTS OUT

LAUGHTER

I hate that, mate!

Oh, my God!

Go on, Jake, boy.

ALL: Fore!

LAUGHTER

Who were you aiming at?
Where were you aiming?

That way, right?
It's on the green.

CHEERING

It's outta there!

WHOOPING
Oi, that's a brilliant shot.

Go on, Tobes. What's that, a grip?

What's the shoulders!
LAUGHTER

Keep your feet,
keep your feet on the ground.

Go on, go on, Tobes.

Spread your feet apart.
Watch the back of the ball, bro.

Come on, mate. You got this.

LAUGHTER

Yes!
Fore!

Do it for Si-Si, do it for Si-Si.

Do it for Si-Si.

Go on, Aaron.

CHEERING AND WHOOPING

Line it up, boy, line it up.
Yeah.

Go on.
For the boys back home.

CHEERING

It's got some snow!

That'll do, that'll do.
At least it was straight.

How do you reckon the girls are
at the minute?

Probably crying with the babies.
Crying with the babies, yeah.

Honest to God, this is horrific.

Are you not enjoying it?

So, can I just say,
I didn't want a baby. Yeah.

And I've now been given
a plastic baby

and then lost the man
that I wanna spend time with

because of the plastic baby.

Out of order.
BABY CRYING

And they get a day out.
How do you...?

Are you fuming about that?
Because I'm fuming.

Fuming.
BABY CRYING

Aww!

Well, this is, like, really fun.

This is the worst day ever.

And the moral of the story is,
don't fucking graduate.

I quite literally am, right now,
Virgin Mary.

You are Virgin Mary!
Oh, you are.

I brought a child to the world
without graduating.

WHOOPING

Come on, boys, come on.
Beep, beep! Beep, beep!

Smash it, Tobes!

See the hole up there.
I know where the hole is now, boys!

You got this, bro.
And again.

And again,
that was a practice shot.

And again. That was practice.
Practice shot.

WHOOPING

It's gone swimming!
LAUGHTER

Oh!
Oh!

WHOOPING

As long as Millie's proud,
that's all I care about.

CHEERING
And baby Jackson.

LAUGHTER
Forgot about the baby, yeah.

Ted, the last dance. Let's do it.

LAUGHTER

Go on, go on. Get in.
Oh, this is not even...

Oh, no! Oh!

CHEERING

I think that calls for a beer.
Yeah.

Come on, boys, let's go.

BABY SCREAMING

I've got 99 problems,
and you're every one!

# Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop

# When the wind blows
The cradle will rock

# When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall... #

BABY SCREAMING
Kaz, are you all right?

Do you need some extra supervision?
Some extra help?

I don't know what to do.

Come here, babe.
Let me see if I can calm your baby.

I might have the magic touch.

SCREAMING CONTINUES

SCREAMING STOPS

Oh, oh, are you joking me?
Oh, oh...

Guys, what a day away
from the missus and the little ones.

Yes.
Cheers.

ALL: Cheers.

Cheers to that, boys.
Yes, lads!

Safe to say,
I'm the worst at golf here.

Fair enough.
I agree.

That's fair enough.
But you did try, mate.

I'm not gonna lie to you,
I'm missing my little Si-Si, man.

Little princess of the villa.

I don't know if you guys noticed -
Faye went hiding.

I've always said I wanted two,
a boy and a girl.

A boy to be just like me, and then
I want a little princess as well.

I want a big family,
so maybe, like, three, four.

So, obviously gonna have to
get to work pretty soon.

LAUGHTER

Three kids. One older brother,
then a second older brother,

then a younger little sister.

The two older lads can
look after the little girl. Yeah.

Boys, how we all getting on, then?

Been a bit of a struggle,
but bumps in the road,

I think it brings you closer
once you come out the other side.

So, yeah, like I say,
we're going onwards and upwards,

and I couldn't really ask for more.

Yeah, I mean,
every day waking up, you know,

we've got smiles on our faces.

I couldn't ask for a better woman
to have started this journey on

and continue the journey on
as well, so I'm excited, boys.

I haven't felt like this in a while.
Honestly, man.

Obviously,
she brings out a side of me

that, back home,
has never really come out before.

Like, a very, like, sensitive...

Like, I'm just excited
to be carrying on this journey,

and, yeah,
just cherishing every moment.

You know, we've come such a long
way, through the ups and downs.

But we are in a very good position,
very, very strong, and, yeah,

things are going very, very well.

The last few days
have been rocky for everyone.

Since then, everyone
has picked themselves back up.

Kaz's mood's been lifted as well.

She's really happy now, we're
really happy, we're in a good space.

We're just inseparable.

If you were to ask me,
"What is Chloe to you?"

I would say she's my girl.

I'm addicted to her.

It's like a bad habit.

It's so bad, it's like every day
you just get feelings

you've never had before
with her as well.

So, what do you think?
Should we head back?

Let's do it.
Cheers, lads.

Back to the villa!
One final cheers, boys.

Thank you very much.
Cheers, lads.

Great day out.
Cheers. Crackin'.

BABY CRIES
Genuinely, I need Tyler.

Do you miss Daddy?
You need your dad.

I miss Daddy too.
This is above my pay grade.

Daddy, come back.

Come on, shall we shout for him?
Daddy, come back!

Daddy, Daddy, look!

Come back, Daddy!

How do you do that so gracefully?
Like...

Oh, shit, sorry.
On the back wheel.

Yeah, I am, but he's just...
Come on, Faye.

Oh, my God!
BABY SCREAMS

Oh, no. I actually think
I broke him. Yeah.

IAIN STIRLING: 'Some people
throw their toys out the pram.

'Well, Faye threw her actual baby
out the pram!

'But at least the boys are back.'

FAYE'S BABY SCREAMS

CHLOE: You fucker!
TOBY: Where's my kid?

Tyler! Come get your child!
Come and get your baby!

CHLOE: You take this horrible child
off me!

I've had a horrible day!

FAYE: Can you get it? Because
I hate it! I hate it so much.

I did not expect you to be with him.

I've missed you so much.

You've done so well.

What a horrible child that is!

You can have her now,
for the rest of the time.

OK? I've missed you.
I've been having a horrible time.

Me too. Hello, big man!
He's currently feeding.

Ours is the worst.
Ask anyone, ours is the worst baby.

It doesn't stop crying,
and it's SO LOUD.

It's very taxing on the soul.

I can sympathise
with mothers across the world.

Babe, she's got her cap on.

She's changed her outfit
since you left.

I know.
I actually really like this one.

You know, we've actually
got the only girl in the villa,

so we've got the only princess.

Did you enjoy yourself?
I'm absolutely knackered.

No way. So tired.
Tired of doing what?

Babe, you don't understand what me
and Millie have been through today.

Babe, it's been traumatising.
You look knackered!

I'm fucked!
Look at me!

Me and Lib
have been sitting here like...

holding the baby like this.
I know.

BABY CRIES
Benjamin, please. I am tired!

I am tired. I cannot.
What's up, buddy?

BABY SCREAMS

Fucking hell.
Didn't miss that scream.

What we do is just do this,
and then you just leave him.

Toby, my baby's smart. Look at that!
He's smart as fuck.

# The wheels on the bus
Go round and round... #

Kaz, you're coming with me.
Lib, you're coming with me.

Yeah, babe! Happily!
Millie.

You can look after the baby,
then, babe.

That's your baby now.

We're not having more...
No more babies.

FAYE: Where are we going?
We're going, relaxing in the pool.

Oh, yeah!
This is a no-baby zone.

Let it be known.

LIAM: Aw.
I actually can't wait for a baby.

Nor can I. Just have a little baba.
Imagine that.

Dress him the way I wanna dress him.
He'd just be my mini-me.

Innit?
If it's a boy, obviously.

I'd love it if it's a girl as well.

That's the thing. I always think
I'd love to have a boy,

but having a girl, mate,

is literally, like...
your heart and soul, everything.

I look like shit.

I feel like I've literally
not slept in five years.

KAZ: I feel like that too.

Well, we haven't, cos we've been
looking after babies all day.

This is a no-baby zone, Toby.
Don't even try it.

Chlo, you're gonna have to hold it
just for two secs. It's feeding!

ALL REFUSING

Toby, do not fucking come near us
with that baby! He's feeding!

We've had it enough.
He's feeding!

Toby, you're not allowed
to come near us.

It's the most silence
you're gonna get.

ALL: Go away.

Wait, wait, wait,
stop giving him negative energy.

I'm here for the mother,
I'm not here for you guys.

We're supporting Chloe. Chlo, can
you hold him for... No, I can't.

What do you mean, you can't?
Where have you been all day?

I just want to get something to eat!

Get something to eat?
Do you think I've eaten today?

OK, look, you're just holding him,
I'm not asking him to...

I'm not asking you to flipping...
So you're running away?

You're running...

Take your son away from me!

IAIN: 'After an unforgettable day,
Liam wants three babies.

'Jake wants five babies.

'And Chloe wants Toby
to wear at least two condoms.'

The baby's nice and quiet.
Yeah, cos we're showing him love.

He's coming from
a love place right now. God.

Imagine if we had to
look after it all night.

I wouldn't mind it.
I would not be getting up with you.

I would rather cry.
TEXT ALERT

WHISPERING:
Thank fuck. I got a text!

READS ALOUD:

CHEERING

Whoo!

Yay!

CONTINUES TO READ ALOUD:

CHEERING

CHEERING

# Baby, bye, bye, bye
Bye-bye

# Don't want to be a fool for you

# Just another player
In your game for two... #

I mean, she was a princess
for a reason,

and she was the best behaved,

the best-looking,
and she had the best parents,

so, I mean, it was a recipe
for success from the start.

# Bye, bye, bye
Bye-bye! #

'Still to come...'

TEXT ALERT
'..Faye's got news.'

I've got a text!

Oh, babe.
Here we go again.

IAIN STIRLING: 'With the challenge
complete, the plastic babies

'have been returned
to their actual birth parents.

'And if you're watching,
Ken and Barbie,

'hope you enjoyed your day off.'

# You make me dance
Bring me up, bring me down... #

And it wasn't even real,
and I'm just tired.

Yeah. Imagine, if that's how we feel
after them ones,

imagine how we're gonna feel
after we've had real babies.

I don't want to do it.

It's been a tough day today, boys.
Tough round of golf.

Been a tough day today.

It was tough WATCHING you guys
do your round of golf.

# Mr Saxo, Mr Saxo, Mr Saxo
Mr Saxobeat

# Hey, sexy boy, set me free
Don't be so shy... #

Are you pleased
you won the challenge, Maz?

Yeah! Couldn't believe it.

Imagine if she didn't win, though,

because she was the only one
that actually really loved her baby.

Yeah, true.

I started out loving the baby,
and then I got really tired.

It was tiring.

Bro, that baby
had an angry-arse face.

LAUGHTER

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... #

Big night. Boys' shirts.
Clean shirts on. Big night.

# Mr Saxobeat
Makes me dance, brings me up... #

CHEERING

Nice one, guys!

Right, guys, short and sweet.

What a day. Lads' day out.

To Jackson, Remi, Tommy,
Marley, Benji and Si-Si.

CHEERING

It was an absolute pleasure,
but tonight is a parents' night,

so let's get lit.
CHEERING

# Make me dance
Bring me up, bring me down

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Saxobeat, makes me dance
Bring me up, bring me down

# Play it sweet
Make me move like a freak, yeah

# Mr Saxobeat. #

'Mary and Aaron are already
missing their little baby Si-Si.

'Or as it's known in English,
Yes-Yes.'

How are you?
I'm good.

How did you find today?

Hard... Very hard.

Even though I took care of Si-Si
for most of the day?

Aaron, you was playing golf
for most of the day.

But I feel like I was a very
natural, maternal father figure.

You actually did do good.

This morning, I was thinking,
"Why is Aaron so obsessed with her?"

Like, pay me some attention.

From a lad's point of view,
when you see Mills with a baby,

I know it's a doll,
but does it give you...?

You fancy them more, don't you?
Of course, it does.

It's sexy, innit, like?
Really?!

Millie,
you won't ever see this side,

because, obviously,
from a lad's point of view,

it's like a yummy mummy,
I always say. Know what I mean?

I find it sexy when you've got a mum
who's very protective.

Tyler, answer my question.

Was I your baby mama
or wife today?

You were the wifey.
Good. Good answer.

Wifey.
Ooh la la!

TEXT ALERT

I've got a text!

FAYE READS:

Here we go again.

Fucking hell.

I don't want to go there.

Come on.

# Back up, back up
We're in trouble again

# Hitman's out
And it's on my head

# I'm not afraid any more... #

TEXT ALERT

Will all Islanders please stand up?

# You say that you're afraid
You might get burnt

# So I light up a fire

# You say that you're afraid
That it will hurt

# So I'm gonna show you
The silence... #

TEXT ALERT

"The public have been voting
for their favourite couple."

# Hush, hush, baby... #

TEXT ALERT

# Hush, hush, baby, now. #

"The couple with the fewest votes

"will be dumped
from the island tonight."

# This won't be an easy ride
It will be a valid one

# No, this won't be
An easy ride... #

TEXT ALERT
# But it will be a lovely one. #

"The safe couples will now be
revealed, in no particular order."

TEXT ALERT

"The first couple
saved by the public is..."

# Ooh-ooh, these minefields
That I walk through... #

TEXT ALERT

# What I risk
To be close to you... #

"..Chloe and Toby."

APPLAUSE

# Close to you... #

TEXT ALERT

"The second couple safe is..."

TEXT ALERT

"..Millie and Liam."

APPLAUSE

TEXT ALERT

# I don't wanna lose... #

"The third couple safe is..."

# Control

# There's nothing I can do... #

TEXT ALERT

# ..any more... #

"..Liberty and Jake."

APPLAUSE

# I don't wanna lose control

# Nothing I can do any more. #

TEXT ALERT

"The fourth couple saved is..."

TEXT ALERT

# At the end of days... #

"..Faye and Teddy."

APPLAUSE

# And so we see a better day... #

TEXT ALERT

"Only one more couple is safe.

"The other couple will be dumped
from the island immediately."

# Into the fire, oh

# Into the fire, love

# It takes me higher... #

TEXT ALERT

"The final couple
saved by the public is..."

# Into the flames

# Into the flames... #

TEXT ALERT

"..Kaz and Tyler."

# Into the flames... #

APPLAUSE

Love you so much.
Oh, I love you to bits.

From the day I met you,
you smashed it.

No hug can beat it, right?

You've been real. You are real.
Fucking stay real.

Difficult one. Difficult, always.

Shall we go pack us shit?

There's gonna be a lot
for us to pack!

# And we're running out
Of precious time

# I'll never change my tune... #

I hope you actually do miss me,
girls. I'll miss you for sure.

Oh, my God.
It's literally a few days, though.

Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's literally five days.

'Mary, for me,
she is one in a million.'

She's incredible.
And she is just an absolute delight.

They deserve to have happiness
with each other. 100%.

Boys, from the bottom of my heart,

it's been a fucking experience
that I will never, ever forget.

Shared with people that I'll never,
ever forget as well, man.

So it's been a pleasure,
and you guys deserve to be here.

Just make sure you enjoy
the last couple of days.

And I'll be seeing you all
very, very, very soon!

LAUGHTER

It's killing me that Aaron's going,
man.

It's killing me,
because on the outside,

when you really
get to hand-pick your friends,

and you pick someone,
he would be someone that I picked,

and he knew that
from the day coming in.

And I knew that
as soon as I saw him.

Emotional.
Babe.

Aw, don't cry!

I'm so happy that
I've impacted someone like this.

I'll see you so soon.

Love you all so much,
and enjoy the rest of your time!

CHEERING

WHOOPING, CHEERING

THEY SIGH

Love you!

Wouldn't change it for the world.
Met some amazing people,

made some incredible friends
and bagged a worldie,

so can't complain.

The next step is dating,
just some us time.

We can't wait to now start
our journey outside.

# Yeah, the only thing
That matters to me is you. #

I just don't think
we're right for each other.

HE SIGHS

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.