Love (2016–2018): Season 2, Episode 11 - The Long D - full transcript

Mickey bonds with her ex, while Gus makes a desperate bid to patch things up with the film director. Bertie has a revelation.

I can't believe he's gone.

I don't think I can go back
to that empty house,

open the door and...

not hear his nails scratching on the floor
as he runs to it.

You know what? I'm gonna...
I'll meet you there.

Okay.

- This is a nice place.
- Thank you.

You moved on up.

Why couldn't you have lived here
when we were together?

What are you saying? You...

you didn't enjoy
the cramped studio apartment



in the Valley with no air conditioning?

This is harder than I thought.

Think about it this way...

This is the first time you have to
come home without him here.

It's never gonna be as bad as this.

That's actually not necessarily true.

When my dad died,
it actually got harder as time went on.

- Oh.
- Sorry. I know you're trying to help.

Do you remember when he used to lie
on the floor and watch us have sex?

- That, uh, creeped you out, as I recall.
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

It was another set of eyes
watching me have sex.

- He didn't know what he was seeing.
- He absolutely did.

I think he even knew
when it was make-up sex.

Hmm.



I kinda feel like, um...

our entire relationship
was just amazing make-up sex.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Morning, Sam.
- Hi, Gus.

Mmm-hmm.

Hello!

- Hey! Good...
- Oh.

Hey, Gus, uh, we're actually
kind of busy right now. So...

Oh, yeah, no, I won't...
I won't take up much of your time.

Guys, I just, um...

Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for how things kinda got ugly there.

And I just also wanted to say
thank you so much

for listening to my ideas
on the Arctic movie.

So, um, just wanted to give you this, uh,
map of the North Pole...

- Wow!
- just in case it inspires anything

for your movie. And then, uh,

when you finally get that movie green-lit,
here's a bottle of soju to celebrate.

Yeah.

Hey, all right!

Thank you.

- Yeah, thanks so much.
- Yeah, of course.

- Very thoughtful of you.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, happy to.

- Very happy to.
- Thank you.

- Uh, we're gonna get back to work here.
- Yeah. Yeah, get back to it.

Hmm.

- Mmm-hmm.
- That's cool.

Yeah...

What's going on, Gus?

Oh, nothing. Before I go,
I just wanted to let you know

I was actually able to rejigger some
of my schedule,

and I think I'll be able
to go to New York now.

So, you know, if you wanted me to come
and kick around ideas, I can. So...

Gus, the ship has sailed.
I mean, for Victor it's important

that people be into a project
from the get-go, so...

Oh.

We really need to get back to work, so...

All right, well,
I'll let you guys go, and, uh...

Or I'll let you get back to work,
and, um... Yeah.

Come on, let's not bite the nails.
Not a good look.

Uh, sorry.
Nervous habit, I guess.

Been a rough day?

All right.

- Wanna hang out tonight?
- Seriously?

Yeah.

Let's get some beers or something.

Arya goes to bed at 9:00.

I'm bored out of my fucking brains

and I can't watch Dateline anymore
in that hotel room.

Yeah, no, that'd be awesome.

I could actually use the company.
That'd be nice.

- Your place.
- Yeah, my place.

- Sure.
- Awesome.

- All right. I might bring a friend.
- What's that?

- Oh, hey!
- Hey.

- Sorry. Stupid place to sit.
- No worries.

Hey, I'm gonna head out.

Where are you going?
I'm making chilaquiles.

Ugh, I have so much bullshit to do today.

Are we cool?

Yeah.

Not, uh, weirded out
about the fact that we had sex?

- No.
- Good.

Hey, um...

you can tell me
if this is none of my business,

but, uh, when I saw you
at the movies the other day,

you were obviously with someone.
Is that, like, a serious thing, or...

Um, you know,

we've been seeing each other
for, like, a month.

I thought it was gonna get serious,
but then it got really weird.

- We never said we were exclusive.
- Good. For your sake.

He was obviously very desperate
for me to like him.

- Ah, he's just from the Midwest.
- Ah! Is that why he's so boring?

Gotta be careful, Mickey.

Boring people are dangerous.
They'll make you boring, too.

All right. Can we drop this now?

Uh, actually, you guys
didn't even look like a couple.

You looked more like a brother-sister
alt-rock band.

- We did not.
- No, no, it was actually worse.

You looked like a... a Christian folk duo.

All right, I'm gonna go.

- Call me later.
- Right.

I like the pepper
on that stuff right there.

A bacon fry.

Ooh, wait, wait, wait.

Let me try.

You knew he was gonna do that.

You knew he was gonna do that.

Could be warmer.

We should've ordered
ranch dressing.

Dad, can he sit with us?

Aw.

Well, what do you think?

Um, sir?

- Hmm?
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Um, would you like to eat with us?

Oh, uh... yeah, thanks.

You know what? This is... this is so cool.
This is awesome.

You know, it reminds me of...

My dad used to take
my family and I to Denny's.

Oh, and we loved it. We would flip out!

I remember, one time...

one time, my mom let us have
Pepsi for breakfast...

Whoa!

which I thought was,
like, the coolest thing.

It's just... it's so cool to be, you know,
with a... with a family...

and to, like, just...
like, be around this vibe.

'Cause I just, I...

I think... I'm, like, lonely out here,
and I just... I'm feeling homesick.

I've never seen such a sad grown-up.

- Can we get the check?
- Oh, this is embarrassing.

Oh, that's okay.

Man, I don't mean to dump
everything out on you guys or...

- That's fine.
- Don't worry about it.

I'll give you my address.

You guys can come over and dump
your feelings on me sometime.

Oh, hold on. Sorry.

Oh, you know what? I gotta...
I gotta take this.

But, um, let me pay for this.

- No! No, no.
- No, no, no, let me pay.

Thank you so much for everything.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- I miss you.
- I, uh... I miss you, too.

I'm sorry that I got so angry
when we Skyped.

No, no, no, it's okay. I was...

I was the one who was acting crazy.

It's nice to hear from you.

Um... what've you been up to?
How are you doing?

I've been good.
Yeah, work's been really great actually.

Uh... I managed to convince that girl
to come over and do a show with us, so...

Oh, no way.
Oh, that's amazing, Mickey.

Yeah, so now Erika's
gonna let me kind of run with it.

It's gonna be my show, and I can make
the full-time transition from, uh,

you know, program manager to producer.

Oh, my gosh, that's great.
Look at you, caring about work.

- I'm proud of ya.
- That's a little condescending,

but whatever.

No, no, I didn't mean it...
that way. Sorry.

It's fine, it's fine.
So, um, what've you been up to?

Have you been fucking a bunch
of actresses on the set?

What? No, I'm with you.

I... I know that.
I was just... I was kidding.

- Oh, yeah.
- Whatever.

No, that's... that's funny. Uh...

So how's everything else?
Are you... are you doing okay?

You just... You sound like something...
something's going on.

- Are you okay?
- What do you mean, something's going on?

I don't know. You just sound,
like, upset or manic or...

Manic? What? No, I'm not manic.

I didn't know
you were now my psychiatrist, too.

I'm fine. Thanks for checking in, Dr. Gus.

- I'm just... concerned.
- Don't be concerned, dude!

I'm not concerned about you.

This is the shit that makes me pull away.

I shouldn't have called you.
I'm sorry. I gotta go.

Okay, Mickey?

Shit. Fuck.

Hi, do you have a few seconds
to help save our oceans?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I have ice cream sandwiches.

They melt, and then they're just not
as good when you re-freeze them.

You know what? I'd be pretty selfish
if I didn't help the shellfish...

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!

Hey.

- Hey, who is that?
- Let me in.

Ah!

You got me!

I mean, I knew it was you,
but, uh, you still got me.

- Ooh! Ah!
- Hey, I just, uh,

ordered some chicken fingers,
if you want in on that, yeah?

Oh, okay. Knock yourself out.
Let's do it.

Maybe I'll, uh, fire up some Ride Along 2.

Ooh!

Hey, listen, um... Good news.
I invited an extra from the set over here.

Oh, okay.

You know, I think they like
to be called background actors.

I think she likes to be called Natasha.

Natasha? Okay, that's cool.

I would have invited her to my room,
but, you know, I share it with Arya,

- so that's a drag.
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Are you okay? You seem a little off.

Uh, I don't know. I'm all right.

Things are a little weird
with Mickey right now. I...

The plane ticket thing
didn't go over well.

- No!
- Yeah,

- she's not like the big gestures type.
- No! Oh, shit!

Yikes. All right, well, change of plan.

You know what you do now?
Give her some space.

Yeah, just keep my distance.
Let her have some room. That makes sense.

Yeah, trust me. She'll be sprinting back
to you once you ice her.

Yeah, well,
that's really my only option that's left.

- But it's hard, man. It's really hard.
- Hey, listen, life is hard.

That's what keeps
the Seagram's company in business.

Oh, oh, oh!
Look who it is. Look who it is.

- Do you want to answer it...
- No, you...

Okay.

- Hi!
- Hello.

- Oh, hello.
- Hi, I'm Natasha.

- Starlet, welcome to the Oscars.
- Hi!

- Ooh, this room is nice.
- Oh, yeah, right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- This is Gus.

- Oh, Gus, so you're the one with the...
- The one with the...

Gettin' right at it.

- The... the chicken fingers?
- Wait a second. What do you got back...

- The coke!
- Yay!

- You're the man, Gus!
- Is that coke?

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Hey!

Were you here last night?
I didn't hear you come in.

Oh, yeah, I was out super late.

Uh, Truman was acting nuts.

It's a long, boring story.

How are ya?

- I almost died today.
- What? Are you okay?

A car hit my shopping cart
while I was pushing it.

And I saw a grapefruit explode
where my head could've been.

This grapefruit. Look at it.

- Jesus.
- I was just looking at this grapefruit,

and I was thinking...
life could end at any moment

and I've settled for so many things.

If I had died today, my obituary
would've read, "Survived by Randy."

Shit.

- I think I have to end it.
- You're gonna break up with him?

I prefer to think of it
as setting us both free.

Here's my advice.

Do it over text, and then block his number
so he can't yell at you.

No. I owe him the respect
of doing it in person.

Maybe I'm naive, but I feel like I could
do it in a way where, at the end of it,

- he actually feels better about himself.
- Seriously?

Yeah, I've got a knack
for this sort of thing.

Once I had to fire someone,
and it took hours,

but we ended up talking about everything,
everything in our lives.

- And we still e-mail today.
- About what?

About the fact that I fired him
and he can't get work anymore.

But it's friendly. It's good.

- Whoo!
- Let's do it.

- Hey, Tash, make, uh, Gus another drink.
- Oh, Gus needs another drink.

No, I got a couple more sips
left here that I'm...

- Oh, I think we can fill it up!
- Come on.

Okay.

- Come on, let's turn on some real music.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Gus?
- Mmm-hmm?

This little line's got your name on it.

I haven't eaten dinner.

Oh, come on, it's Atlanta.

- Yeah, Gus, it's Atlanta.
- Oh, well...

I don't know why that matters,
but...

'Cause it's Atlanta.

It's Atlanta! It's Atlanta!
It's Atlanta!

- Ooh!
- You guys are having fun.

Uh-oh, here she comes!

We all have to do this.

'Cause if you don't do it,
we'll feel like you're judging us.

Yeah, don't judge us, Gus!

Ah!

Ooh! Yes!

I remember when I was a kid,
my family and I, we would go to church,

and I, like, loved Jesus.

- That's so sweet.
- Jesus was, like, my best fucking friend,

and I feel like I don't even talk
to Jesus anymore.

When was the last time you guys
talked to Jesus? Do you wanna pray?

- Uh...
- No fucking way.

- Not right now.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna just pray real quick.
- You need another drink.

Hey, we're gonna take off, man!
You good?

Okay!

- Bye, buddy!
- It was nice to meet you!

All right.

Hey!

Hey!

- Hi!
- Oh, hey!

Sorry I scared you.

- Whoa!
- That's okay.

When I saw you,
I thought you were my neighbor Kelly.

He loves to prank me.
I fucking hate that guy.

- Okay.
- What's going on?

Um, well, I actually have
some really exciting news for you.

Something that's gonna
open up your life in many ways.

That sounds great.
What did we, like, win something?

We did not.
Um, I'm breaking up with you.

- What?
- Hear me out.

Um, this break up,

it's actually gonna give you
a lot of really exciting opportunities

to meet new people.

It's time for you
to take your wings and soar,

because, um, you're ready,
and I can't hold you back.

- Oh, I didn't realize someone was here.
- Oh, hey.

Bertie, this is my brother, Devon.
Surprise visit.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Uh, sorry, they're wet.
- Very wet.

Oh, they're clean.

- Very wet.
- He, uh... he loves surprises.

- I hate surprises.
- Since he was a kid.

Oh, Bertie, it is so cool
to finally meet you,

'cause this guy
won't stop talking about you

and my mom's already
told all her friends about you.

Bertie just broke up with me.

- For real? Why?
- I'm sorry, but I...

Look, can't you give him
another chance, please?

I mean, this means so much to our family.

Is this because I borrowed money from you?

What the hell are you doing?
You should only borrow money from family.

Okay, how much?

I mean, I got, like, 60 bucks on me,
but I'm happy to run to an ATM.

- No problem.
- Dude, I'm not an invalid.

You are breaking Mom's heart.

- Me?
- I am?

- Both of you!
- Okay, well, um...

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go.

No, please don't go, okay? Just...
Let's work this out.

There's a lot of great stuff
that you still don't know.

Little kids love me, right?

And... I can pick up really heavy stuff.

Oh, stop it, dude.
You're humiliating yourself.

Listen, one summer,
I got all my mom's old jeans

and donated them
to this women's shelter...

- Shut up.
- and people thought I was a hero.

- You shut up!
- Nobody thought you were a hero!

- Yes, they did, Devon.
- Shut up!

- Shut up!
- I wish you the best. Sorry. Bye.

- Don't leave!
- Oh, my God. Don't go.

The plan was
to wait for Commander...

Screw the plan.

We're two clicks away
from a downed jet airliner

carrying the president's daughter.
The feds are gonna be all over us.

Commander said
he wanted us to wait right here.

Commander ain't here, Jack.

The commander ain't here!

- Cut! Cut!
- How was that?

Was that... better?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Morning.
- Morning.

- Do you know when the next break is?
- Why? Do you wanna talk to Victor?

Yeah. I just...

I wanted to let him know why I think
I should be a part of this Arctic movie.

- I just need, like, five minutes.
- Gus, dude...

- I think I can convince him, you know?
- Look, you need to move on, okay?

He doesn't need you anymore.

We bought the rights
to the article you mentioned, so...

Wait... What? Are you serious?

Hey, can you keep it down?
We're shooting.

You wouldn't have known about that article
unless I had told you about it.

Maybe next time,
you should be more business savvy.

Business savvy?
This isn't about business, man.

- This is about your feelings towards me.
- We're in the middle of a scene.

You didn't like me from the start.

What are you talking about?
I... I didn't even know you, okay?

And then you come along,
kissing his ass...

I kiss his ass? You kiss his ass.

- No, I don't.
- This is his ass. These are your lips.

- Yeah...
- And I'm, like, here.

No. No, you're...

This is me. You're, like...
like, on top of me.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Pause, pause, pause.

- Still rolling! Resetting!
- I'm... I'm sorry. I just...

I didn't mean to...

Yeah, he wants you to leave the set.

Yeah, like I can trust
anything you translate.

Forever.

Forever. Go forever.

- He said, "Go forever."
- I heard. I know.

- Still rolling!
- I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Quiet! Resetting!

Fucking shit.

Almost there.
It's just a little farther up.

I just don't think
snakes are that scary, man.

Well, my cousin saw one once.
Not here, but he saw... Hey.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Hey.

- You know those guys?
- Uh, friends of a friend.

- Where we going?
- Right here.

This was Buster's favorite spot.

So there I am, once again,

driving my mother home
because she's too wasted to drive.

And, um, I'm just about to tell her
how fucking sick of this I am.

And then I stop
and remind myself of, uh, the don'ts.

Don't nag, scold or complain.
Don't push anyone but yourself.

Don't, uh... don't keep checking up
on the alcoholic.

Don't be overprotective.

And when I got to the end of that list,

I was able to let go of the anger...

and just love my mom.

I can't keep checking up on her.

Sometimes that's the hardest part.

I have to remember
that the best thing I can do...

is let go of all the things
that I can't change

and start thinking
about the things that I can.

I've been seeing this girl.

We've been dating, and she's an alcoholic.

And... lately I've been feeling her,
like, pulling away from me.

Now I get it.

I get it.

I've just been, like, putting...

so much pressure on her to get better.

So I'm gonna take a step back...

let her handle her own recovery,
and, um...

maybe if I do that...

we'll have something real.

- Hey there.
- Hi.

- How'd it go with Randy?
- Oh...

It was worse than I could have imagined.

It was a little bit
like watching a horror movie

and being in the horror movie as well.

- And you're already on Tinder.
- Oh, yeah. I'm liking everyone.

Uh, what does it mean when someone says
they're a project manager?

They're unemployed.

If it says project manager or CEO,
they're unemployed.

Oh, okay. Well,
they're still getting a like from me.

Don't do that! They're all gonna text you.

That's good. It'll make me feel popular.

I've only got, like,
seven people in my phone.

I'll get it.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Spontaneous drop-by.
- Yeah.

I was in the neighborhood,
grabbed some artichokes.

These things are so expensive,
they should come with a handjob.

Uh, hi.

Hello.

Oh, sorry. Uh, Bertie, this is Dustin,
an old friend of mine.

And Dustin, this is Bertie, my roommate.

Roommate and future old friend.

You, uh, hungry? I'll cook these up.

- Oh, wow. That's so nice of you.
- Happy to help.

Oh, my God. This is your kitchen?

Maybe this was a mistake.

So how do you two know each other?

- Mmm... Mickey and I used to date.
- Oh.

I knew her back in her mohawk days.

- Ah, you had a mohawk?
- Not really.

It was more like I was on speed
and cut my hair with a Swiss Army knife.

Oh, my God, it was gorgeous.

You're even more gorgeous now.
I like this look.

Jesus, these artichokes are good, right?

Oh, yeah. I'm a bit worried
I'm gonna arti-choke on them though.

Okay. Um, well,

I'm gonna, uh, go into my room
and pack up Randy's stuff. Bye.

You're welcome.

- So what's up?
- I don't know. What is up?

Nothing. I'm a grown woman
having dinner with a friend.

A very touchy friend.

All right, yes, we've been fucking.

- What do you care? You barely know me.
- What about Gus?

I've known Gus for, like, two months,
and we never said we are exclusive.

- Well, hmm...
- What's "hmm" mean?

Nothing, it's...
I think if I were in the same situation,

I would do things a little differently.

Of course you would,
'cause you're so perfect.

I'm not saying I'm perfect.
I'm just looking out for Gus.

You're not gonna tell him, are you?
'Cause it would ruin his whole life.

- I didn't say I was gonna tell him.
- Don't. Ever.

Maybe if you'd ever been in,
like, a real adult relationship,

you would understand.

Excuse me. I was engaged once.

In Australia. It doesn't count.

Hey, I, uh... I spilled some wine.
Do you have any paper towels?

- Just leave it.
- Just leave it?

Yeah. This place is toxic.
Let's go to your house.

Um, okay.

- Uh-oh!
- Hey, hey!

Guys, I just wanted to say goodbye.
I'm flying out tomorrow morning, so...

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.

Do you feel better?
You didn't look great last time I saw you.

I don't know. I think over the last week,
maybe I just... had some...

life-changing breakthroughs,
honestly. You know?

I meant last time I saw you,
you were throwing up in the toilet.

What?

- Uh...
- When did that happen?

Oh, um...

- When did that happen?
- What was that?

That was probably a couple of nights ago.
You were snoozing away,

and I went over to his room
to watch Ride Along 2.

- That's right.
- Remember?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
and I just... I got sick from...

- 'Cause you had, um, that meatball sub.
- I had the meatball sub,

and it was just food poisoning.

You don't have to bullshit me.
I know what you're talking about.

Oh.

- When did somebody learn the "BS" word?
- You probably had one beer and passed out.

I'm a lightweight now, huh?

Do as I say, not as I do, okay?

Okay, now I'm uncomfortable.
I'm gonna go.

- Okay.
- All right, we lost her.

- Yep. Bye!
- Okay, see you, buddy.

You still have the same smell.

I actually don't like
to think of myself as having a smell.

Thank you, though.

Is it the word smell?

Could I say, like,
you still have the same odor?

I would prefer that you did not.

Got it.

I should probably
let my brother back in soon.

This is so nice.

I wish I could stay here all day
and I didn't have to go to work.

That sounds perfect.

I'm kinda killing it at my job lately.

Should make me happy.

But it's just more pressure, you know?

If I can succeed, then I can fail.
Makes me nervous.

I get that.

Honestly...

some part of me doesn't wanna deal
with big career responsibilities.

I just wanna get married
and have kids and live a simple life.

That's awesome.

- It is?
- Completely. I totally get that.

You come from a fucked-up family.

I come from a fucked-up nightmare
of a family.

And when you come from where we did,
sometimes you just...

I don't know, wanna...

have your own family
so you can do it all over the right way.

Yes! I just wanna have a happy family,
erase the bad one,

and give my kids
the fucking awesome childhood I never had.

I want that, too.

Like, a... a wife who's home
when the kids get back from school.

I never had that.

I could bake some cookies if I had to.

- They gotta be chocolate chip.
- 'Course! I'm not an animal.

I'm not gonna give my kids
some fucking oatmeal raisin cookies.

Sorry. Sorry.

We're both in better places.

We could give this another try.

I should go home and change my clothes
before I go to work.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You are not going anywhere.