Louie (2010–2015): Season 4, Episode 6 - Elevator: Part 3 - full transcript

(whispers) Shit.

(sighs)

Oh, God.

Jesus Christ, man.

I'm sorry, I used your shower.

Well, we got-- We have
bigger towels than that, dude.

Sorry.

What's wrong?

Just keyboard's broken,

and I can't get the "J"
or the "L" keys to work.

What, are you
trying to spell July?



Why don't you get an iPhone,
for God's sake?

I don't want one.

Let me see, I can fix those.

I got it.
Just give it to me.

I can fix it.

I know how to fix these--
I got it.

Lou, I can fix these
Blackberries.

I got it.

Just give me the phone.
Stop it.

You're being a dummy.

Just give me the--
Get outta here.

Give me the phone
for God's sake.

I can fix it!
Get off of me!

Seriously.



Sorry.

(mouthing words)

♪♪

Jesus...

Hi, stupid asshole.

(laughing)

Look at your face.

Aww.

Hey.

So, Europe was a bust.

Sur's dad looked
like he was trying

for about two months there.

I pretended like I wanted
to make it work,

but the truth comes out, man.

You know, we're just
not two people

who are meant to be together.

Sur and his dad,
on the other hand,

very happy,

and he's good with him,

so I left them both
in Barcelona.

I'll get him back
in time for school next year.

So... got lots
of free time.

I'm here.

I'm down to hang.

♪♪

Hello? Hello?

Are there any people in there?

Did a plant make
a new one of you?

What's wrong?
Am I in trouble?

Are you gonna screech at me now?

(screams)

Look, I thought about you...

...a lot.

You got under my skin
from far away,

and I mean--

(sighs)

If you want to try
to pursue a...

...guy-girl,

kissing-type-of-thing...

I'm willing to go
down that road with you,

if you're interested.

I'm with somebody now.

What?
No, you're not.

No one wants to
be with you, Louie.

Stop lying.

(laughing)

Oh, my God.

Look at your face.

Wait, hold on.

Oh, my God.

Look, I don't know
what you've got

going on with who,

but this is me
you're talking to.

Look, it's really
good to see you.

It really is, you know?

(clears throat)

But I got something
going on now.

That's what's--
That's what's going on with me.

Oh, hmm.

All right, then.

Well, that's all
very official and clear.

That's what's going on with you.

Mm, very good.

Very good, sir.

Yeah, I gotta--
I gotta go.

You gotta go.

You got a big relationship
with like the President

or something, yeah.

I'll see you later.

Hey, what are you doing?

You're not leaving?

Are you serious?

Yeah, I gotta--
I gotta go.

Louie... Louie.

Okay, well, um,
I'm very happy for you.

Congratulations.

Folks, folks,
you gotta get out of the way.

That guy is in a big
relationship now.

Seriously, make way.

Big stuff.

It's really big stuff.

(knocking)

Oh.

Hello.

Hi.
Hi, is Amia here?

Yes, come in.

Oh, thank you.

How're you doing?

I am good.

You all right?
Yeah, and you?

Good, good.

Hey, I got a great
question for you.

What is that?

What is your name?

(both laughing)

Ivanka.
Ivanka.

Okay, Ivanka.

She's in here.

Amia?

Hi.

Hey, hey, uh, just one second.

Can you do me a favor
and, uh, tell her

I'd like to go
to dinner with her tonight.

Can you ask her?

Why don't you tell her?

Oh, come on, come on, man.

(speaking Hungarian)

Ah.

She, um, she wants you
to know that she is

going back to Hungary.

She is not staying here.

She lives there in Hungary.

She has a son.

And, uh, she's
going back, and--

Oh, oh, and she liked
very much to be with you.

Can you tell her don't go?

Please tell her don't go.

Oh, but you see--

I know, I get it, I get it.

I-I.she's got a kid.

Everybody's got a kid,
it's okay.

I mean, is she married?

Is she married?

No.
Then don't go.

Please tell--
Just tell her I said stay.

Tell her I said stay.

(speaking Hungarian)

Stay, you know?
Come on, just stay.

Ma-- what? Marad, marad.

Stay, stay here.

Marad.

Marad, marad, marad, marad.

Marad, stay.

I'm not--
I mean I really--

Look, just-- I-I don't
know you.

I wanna know you.

It's only been one day
that I spend with you,

but don't go all of a sudden.

I know this is a good idea.

This looks crazy, right?

This is stupid?

But this is a good idea.

I know this is, please don't go.

Please don't go.

No, come down--

Don't go.
Why go?

(speaking Hungarian)

Okay?

She wants you to know--

No, no, I got it, I got it.

No, but--

No, no,
I got.I-I got it.

I got it, thanks.

That was nice.

I just-- I...

Uh, I really had
a good time with you.

Thank you.

And it's nice to have met you.

Um... I'll see you,
thank you, thanks.

(breathing heavily)

(chords banging)

(doorbell)

Oh.

Hi.

Uh, hi.

(bat clatters)

Sorry, I was, uh,
cleaning... the piano.

Amia wanted me to tell you
that you didn't really hear

or understand what it is that
she wanted to say to you.

Okay.

You see, she, um, is here
for one month to help me

to move back to Hungary
to live there, you know,

because it's time for me
to go home.

And, um, so she will
be here for one month,

and she very much would like
to see you again,

but she just
wanted me to tell you

that she's leaving so that,
you know,

everything is--
Everything is said, you know?

So, she would like
to see you again

if that is okay with you
that she will be leaving.

Okay.

Well, tell her thank you.

Uh, I'd very much like
to see her again,

and could you please tell her

that I'd love to take her
to dinner tomorrow.

You tell her.

Okay, okay.

Tomorrow, uh, seven.

Din.you and me, dinner.

Okay?

(Hungarian)

Okay.

Thank you for-- Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, can you tell her--

Just let her know I have
two daughters, okay?

Girls, eight and thirteen.

I will tell her.
Tell her that.

Okay.
Thank you.

(laughing)

(sighs)

I'm sorry that
I ripped your skirt off.

And I was behaving badly.

I know even when I'm upset,
I can't hurt someone else.

I'm very sorry.

Okay.

Thank you, Jane.

Thank you, Marcy.

Jane, can you wait outside
while I speak to your parents?

Okay.

So, what's the plan?

What's the plan?

Yes.

It's time to make
a plan for Jane.

Do you have one?

Um...

We're--
we're kinda, um--

Okay.

Clearly, you two
are not communicating,

which is a problem.

You need to communicate.

Tell you what--
I'm gonna go down the hall.

Why don't you two sit here
and devote a few minutes

to talking
constructively about Jane.

Okay?

Hey.
Hey, hi.

Hi.

Hey, this is, uh--
This is my daughter, Jane.

Jane, Jane?

Yeah.
Hi.

This is Amia, she's my friend.

Uh, doesn't speak English.

She's Hungarian.

Oh.
Szervusz.

Szervusz!

What's that?

It's "hello" in Hungarian.

(speaking Hungarian)

Minute.

Ah.

Oh.

I didn't know--
I didn't know...

(speaks Hungarian)

♪♪

Hey!

(clapping)

Okay.

Szervusz.
Szervusz.

Let's go, come on.

You got homework.

I don't wanna do homework.

I know you don't, come on.

Listen, an I just do the violin?

No, 'cause you're already
good at violin, you see.

So you need to balance
your education and develop.

Come on, that's boring stuff.

Yeah, it's boring,
but later in life--

It's pretty good.

Yeah?

All right, see you later, dude.

Have a great day, all right?

Daddy?

Yeah?

Is everybody mad at me?

Nope.

I mean I worry about you.

But I never really get
mad at you, Jane.

I just-- I--
It's my job to help you be,

you know, a person
that can live in the world

and be easy to be around.

That's all.

Well, am I easy to be around?

Yeah, you really are.

I love being with you.

It's like my
fourth favorite thing.

What are the first three?

Uh, okay, number three,
riding elephants.

Love it.

Number two, collecting hydrogen.

Cool.

Yeah, my hydrogen collection
is awesome.

Yes.

And number one would have to be
remembering being with you.

That's my favorite.

Bye, daddy.
See you later.

Take it easy.

Have a good one.

Bye.

Bye, daddy.

So long, sucker.

(man) Easy, easy, easy, easy.

Take it easy, take it easy.

Easy.

Hey, Dr. Bigelow.

Hi.
Yes, yes.

Hey, hi.

Hey, my back is much better.

So...

Better than what?

Oh, well, you know
my back was hurting,

and it's better now.

So, thank you.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think I had
anything to do with that.

Easy, easy, easy, boy.

Easy, boy.

Sit, sit, sit, okay, okay.

Yes, what?

Oh, nothing, just I've been
dating this girl.

I'm-- I just--
I was dating this woman,

and she's leaving the country,

so I don't know if--
It's kinda confusing.

I don't know if
I should keep dating her.

I-I don't understand why
I'm hearing about this.

I'm sorry,
I just--

When I was in your office,
you gave me really good advice,

you know, philosophically,
so I guess I--

So you-- you want me
to advise you about what?

I've been-- Okay, I've been
dating this woman.

And I don't know if
I should keep dating her

because she's leaving
the country.

I'm not gonna get
to stay with her.

And I'm liking her more
and more, so it's-- You know?

(sighs)

Here's what I can tell you.

In medical school,

they tell you about
thousands of things

that can happen to
the human body,

diseases and maladies
that you could never dream up.

There's a thing where
your bones dissolve,

and you become
just a sack of organs.

People are born sometimes
with no eyes, with no face.

They're rare,

but neurological diseases
that eat half of your brain.

People are born sick,

and they never know a moment

of anything but pain
and suffering.

(sighs)

So?

So, nobody cares whether
you date this girl

or whether you don't.

Just pick a road
and go down it, or don't.

But there's gotta be
a way to decide

which one's gonna
make me happier.

To predict--

Ta a look at this dog.

What's his name?
Doesn't have one.

How many legs does it have?

Three.

The answer is
it has plenty of legs.

It had four,

a coyote in Poughkeepsie
chewed the other one off.

Look at his face,
perfectly happy.

Belly is full.

Just looking, waiting
to see what comes next.

Do you know the only thing
happier than a three-legged dog?

A four-legged dog.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

this dog would like
to get some air.

(belching)

(both laughing)

Do it again.
Ready?