Louie (2010–2015): Season 3, Episode 13 - New Year's Eve - full transcript
Louie is alone after Christmas and has a traumatic New Year's Eve, so he decides to get away from it all--in China.
Oh my gosh!
I got a tea set!
Look, it's a blue monkey
Santa brought me!
Aww, just like I asked him for!
Sir, I need a blue monkey.
I need a blue monkey.
Oh Daddy, look!
She's beautiful.
What the hell?
What the hell?
What happened to your eyes?
Jesus.
Come on, come on.
I got it, I got it.
I got it.
Okay...
Dammit.
Okay.
There's got to be another
way through this.
Oh, shit.
Shit on my father's balls.
Shit!
Aw, sweet Jesus.
Can you see?
You pretty, pretty, pretty...
Oh, come on.
Okay.
Oh shit!
Shit.
Look at the book Santa brought me.
That's actually from me.
Will you read it to me?
Sure, come over here.
"The Story About Ping."
That's Ping.
Cute duck.
"Once upon a time, there
was a beautiful young duck
"named Ping.
"Ping lived with his mother
and his father
"and his two sisters
and three brothers
"and 11 aunts
and seven uncles and 42 cousins.
That's in China.
"Each morning as the sun
rose from the east,
"Ping and his mother and his father
"and his sisters and brothers
and aunts and uncles
"and his 42 cousins
"all marched one by one
down the little bridge
"to the shore of
the Yangtze River."
"It looks like it's so nice
to live on that river.
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Mom!
Mommy!
Hi.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Merry Christmas.
How are you, Patrick?
Heya, man.
Hi.
Come see what Santa brought!
Okay.
Can I get something to
drink or something?
Oh, no,
I'm good... thanks.
Okay.
I'm sorry I can't stay
longer, I just--
I don't want to be late
for an international flight.
Yeah, that's okay.
When are you all returning?
January 14th.
I have all their schoolwork
and I'm in touch with their teachers.
Okay.
Can you have them call me,
maybe send
me pictures if you take any?
Of course.
Thank you.
So is it like a no-go with
the Letterman thing?
Oh, yeah, no.
Yeah, that's not--
Not-- Did not--
Did not get that.
That's--
Anyway.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
You too.
How's it going?
It's going.
Okay.
Hello?
Hey, big brother.
Merry Christmas.
Hey... Hi.
Were you sleeping?
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
Bubba, it's 3:00 in
the afternoon.
You okay?
I'm fine.
Are you all by yourself?
Well, do you have to say "all"?
I mean, can I just be by myself?
The kids are with Janet?
Yeah, for two weeks.
What are you doing for New Year's?
This.
Ugh, Louie, come on, don't do that.
I'm doing it.
Louie, I don't want you to
be alone for New Year's.
Louie.
Debbie, I'm fine.
Happy new year, merry
Christmas, I'm fine.
Listen, we are taking the
kids to Mexico for New Year's.
We're going to visit Abuelita
and we're just gonna relax.
I think you should come with us.
Debbie.
Doug bought you a ticket, okay?
All you have to do--
Debbie--
I don't want you to be by yourself.
Doug is being really nice right now.
Is that your brother?
Mm-hmm.
Give me that.
Yo.
Is this Funnyman?
Hey Doug, how you doing?
Funnyman, listen up.
We're taking the kids down
to Mexico to see your Abuelita.
We are staying
at the Casa Grande Hotel.
It's got a heated pool,
hot wings on tap.
Now, I got you
first-class ticket out of that
left wing Kennedy Airport?
And you must come, I will
not take no for an answer.
Doug, listen, that's
really nice of you, but I--
Good!
We'll see you there.
Bye.
Hi.
Hi.
Debbie, listen,
I really--
I can't do it, I can't.
Well, I really hope you do.
And if you don't, Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you, too.
I love you, Louie.
You know that.
Yeah, I know... I--
Okay, bye.
Coming up, the story of an
unusual Christmas gift
received anonymously by a local woman.
That's right, Jeff.
Anna Davis didn't even know
that her neighbors were gay men.
Jim Callosonoponocco
is live on the scene with
these report.
Lily.
Hi, Jane!
Hi!
Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you.
Oh, we're grown-ups.
Wow, we're like--
Probably in our 20s.
Probably... What do you do?
Um, I have, like, a
career-y thing and--
I work and--
I'm probably an artist.
Oh, my gosh.
And hopefully, it's going well.
Have you seen Daddy lately?
Well, I saw him in April.
What about you?
I'm gonna see him for his birthday.
How is he?
Oh, boy.
Not so good.
I mean, he's so alone.
I know, it's depressing.
He just sits there in his
place and doesn't do anything.
He doesn't see anybody.
I know.
And now it's too late for
him to even find someone.
All he does is sit in that
big old chair
and eat pinwheel cookies.
It's so sad.
He is all alone.
Just alone and not with anybody.
It's so sad that he's alone.
I hate that he's alone.
Always alone.
Why didn't he try harder
to be less alone?
Yeah.
How are we gonna know when
we get to be this age
not to be alone?
Yeah.
We're probably kind of... up
from having that kind of a dad.
Well, it's New Year's Eve,
of course that means
people partying, carrying on, sharing,
but it's also a very
busy time at crisis centers.
That's right, Trisha.
Statistics show that New
Year's Eve is when folks
are most likely to commit suicide.
More than 500 New Yorkers are expected
to take their own lives tonight,
especially those who are
spending New Year's Eve
by themselves.
All by themselves.
Alone with no one near your body.
Go ahead and put that gun
in your mouth.
Do you need a seat?
Here you go.
Louie!
Liz?
Oh, my God.
Hey!
Uh, she had cancer when
she was a teenager.
Well, whatever it is, it is
coming back aggressively.
Has she been in treatment?
Has she been having any symptoms?
I don't know, I--
Are you in touch with her family?
Because we're running tests,
but I gotta figure out what this is.
Pressure's dropping!
Give her an amp with that thing.
Go ahead.
Jesus, am I dying?
Am I dying?
Uh... I don't know.
I'm not ready for this.
This is crazy.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be all right.
I don't think so.
Oh, Louie.
Yeah?
Bye.
Okay, she's arresting.
Here, ampul her.
Paddles, paddles.
Put it on 100 joules.
Give me some gel.
Here.
Okay, let's go.
Clear!
No response.
Okay, let's call it.
11:59 p.m.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!
Five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you, guys!
Sir, can you--
I'm looking for the Yangtze River.
Yangtze River?
Yangtze River.
Yangtze River.
Yangtze River.
Please go away.
Yangtze River.
River.
River?
Yangtze-- Yeah.
River, Yangtze River.
I'm looking for the Yangtze River.
Yangtze-- The river.
Like, with ducks?
Yangtze.
Jiangha?
Say--?
Jiangha?
Jianhga.
Jianhga.
Jiangha, yeah.
Jiangha.
Jiangha.
Jiangha?
Yangtze River.
That's it?
Okay.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Oh, okay.
Inside?
Okay.
Oh, Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you, thank you very much.
Hey.
Yeah.
What... I don't under--
Migua.
Migua?
Yingua.
Yingua?
Fagua.
Fagua.
Fagua?
Wait, slow down.
Ching chung.
Ching hong!
Ching hong.
Tai Beijing.
Tai Beijing.
Dao wa ja.
Dao wa ja.
Rai.
Rai.
Do ka.
Do ka!
I got a tea set!
Look, it's a blue monkey
Santa brought me!
Aww, just like I asked him for!
Sir, I need a blue monkey.
I need a blue monkey.
Oh Daddy, look!
She's beautiful.
What the hell?
What the hell?
What happened to your eyes?
Jesus.
Come on, come on.
I got it, I got it.
I got it.
Okay...
Dammit.
Okay.
There's got to be another
way through this.
Oh, shit.
Shit on my father's balls.
Shit!
Aw, sweet Jesus.
Can you see?
You pretty, pretty, pretty...
Oh, come on.
Okay.
Oh shit!
Shit.
Look at the book Santa brought me.
That's actually from me.
Will you read it to me?
Sure, come over here.
"The Story About Ping."
That's Ping.
Cute duck.
"Once upon a time, there
was a beautiful young duck
"named Ping.
"Ping lived with his mother
and his father
"and his two sisters
and three brothers
"and 11 aunts
and seven uncles and 42 cousins.
That's in China.
"Each morning as the sun
rose from the east,
"Ping and his mother and his father
"and his sisters and brothers
and aunts and uncles
"and his 42 cousins
"all marched one by one
down the little bridge
"to the shore of
the Yangtze River."
"It looks like it's so nice
to live on that river.
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
Mom!
Mommy!
Hi.
Hey.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Merry Christmas.
How are you, Patrick?
Heya, man.
Hi.
Come see what Santa brought!
Okay.
Can I get something to
drink or something?
Oh, no,
I'm good... thanks.
Okay.
I'm sorry I can't stay
longer, I just--
I don't want to be late
for an international flight.
Yeah, that's okay.
When are you all returning?
January 14th.
I have all their schoolwork
and I'm in touch with their teachers.
Okay.
Can you have them call me,
maybe send
me pictures if you take any?
Of course.
Thank you.
So is it like a no-go with
the Letterman thing?
Oh, yeah, no.
Yeah, that's not--
Not-- Did not--
Did not get that.
That's--
Anyway.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
You too.
How's it going?
It's going.
Okay.
Hello?
Hey, big brother.
Merry Christmas.
Hey... Hi.
Were you sleeping?
Uh, yeah, I guess so.
Bubba, it's 3:00 in
the afternoon.
You okay?
I'm fine.
Are you all by yourself?
Well, do you have to say "all"?
I mean, can I just be by myself?
The kids are with Janet?
Yeah, for two weeks.
What are you doing for New Year's?
This.
Ugh, Louie, come on, don't do that.
I'm doing it.
Louie, I don't want you to
be alone for New Year's.
Louie.
Debbie, I'm fine.
Happy new year, merry
Christmas, I'm fine.
Listen, we are taking the
kids to Mexico for New Year's.
We're going to visit Abuelita
and we're just gonna relax.
I think you should come with us.
Debbie.
Doug bought you a ticket, okay?
All you have to do--
Debbie--
I don't want you to be by yourself.
Doug is being really nice right now.
Is that your brother?
Mm-hmm.
Give me that.
Yo.
Is this Funnyman?
Hey Doug, how you doing?
Funnyman, listen up.
We're taking the kids down
to Mexico to see your Abuelita.
We are staying
at the Casa Grande Hotel.
It's got a heated pool,
hot wings on tap.
Now, I got you
first-class ticket out of that
left wing Kennedy Airport?
And you must come, I will
not take no for an answer.
Doug, listen, that's
really nice of you, but I--
Good!
We'll see you there.
Bye.
Hi.
Hi.
Debbie, listen,
I really--
I can't do it, I can't.
Well, I really hope you do.
And if you don't, Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you, too.
I love you, Louie.
You know that.
Yeah, I know... I--
Okay, bye.
Coming up, the story of an
unusual Christmas gift
received anonymously by a local woman.
That's right, Jeff.
Anna Davis didn't even know
that her neighbors were gay men.
Jim Callosonoponocco
is live on the scene with
these report.
Lily.
Hi, Jane!
Hi!
Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you.
Oh, we're grown-ups.
Wow, we're like--
Probably in our 20s.
Probably... What do you do?
Um, I have, like, a
career-y thing and--
I work and--
I'm probably an artist.
Oh, my gosh.
And hopefully, it's going well.
Have you seen Daddy lately?
Well, I saw him in April.
What about you?
I'm gonna see him for his birthday.
How is he?
Oh, boy.
Not so good.
I mean, he's so alone.
I know, it's depressing.
He just sits there in his
place and doesn't do anything.
He doesn't see anybody.
I know.
And now it's too late for
him to even find someone.
All he does is sit in that
big old chair
and eat pinwheel cookies.
It's so sad.
He is all alone.
Just alone and not with anybody.
It's so sad that he's alone.
I hate that he's alone.
Always alone.
Why didn't he try harder
to be less alone?
Yeah.
How are we gonna know when
we get to be this age
not to be alone?
Yeah.
We're probably kind of... up
from having that kind of a dad.
Well, it's New Year's Eve,
of course that means
people partying, carrying on, sharing,
but it's also a very
busy time at crisis centers.
That's right, Trisha.
Statistics show that New
Year's Eve is when folks
are most likely to commit suicide.
More than 500 New Yorkers are expected
to take their own lives tonight,
especially those who are
spending New Year's Eve
by themselves.
All by themselves.
Alone with no one near your body.
Go ahead and put that gun
in your mouth.
Do you need a seat?
Here you go.
Louie!
Liz?
Oh, my God.
Hey!
Uh, she had cancer when
she was a teenager.
Well, whatever it is, it is
coming back aggressively.
Has she been in treatment?
Has she been having any symptoms?
I don't know, I--
Are you in touch with her family?
Because we're running tests,
but I gotta figure out what this is.
Pressure's dropping!
Give her an amp with that thing.
Go ahead.
Jesus, am I dying?
Am I dying?
Uh... I don't know.
I'm not ready for this.
This is crazy.
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be all right.
I don't think so.
Oh, Louie.
Yeah?
Bye.
Okay, she's arresting.
Here, ampul her.
Paddles, paddles.
Put it on 100 joules.
Give me some gel.
Here.
Okay, let's go.
Clear!
No response.
Okay, let's call it.
11:59 p.m.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!
Five, four, three, two, one!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you, guys!
Sir, can you--
I'm looking for the Yangtze River.
Yangtze River?
Yangtze River.
Yangtze River.
Yangtze River.
Please go away.
Yangtze River.
River.
River?
Yangtze-- Yeah.
River, Yangtze River.
I'm looking for the Yangtze River.
Yangtze-- The river.
Like, with ducks?
Yangtze.
Jiangha?
Say--?
Jiangha?
Jianhga.
Jianhga.
Jiangha, yeah.
Jiangha.
Jiangha.
Jiangha?
Yangtze River.
That's it?
Okay.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Oh, okay.
Inside?
Okay.
Oh, Okay.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you, thank you very much.
Hey.
Yeah.
What... I don't under--
Migua.
Migua?
Yingua.
Yingua?
Fagua.
Fagua.
Fagua?
Wait, slow down.
Ching chung.
Ching hong!
Ching hong.
Tai Beijing.
Tai Beijing.
Dao wa ja.
Dao wa ja.
Rai.
Rai.
Do ka.
Do ka!