Lost Man Found (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript
Okay, we've arr...
(screaming)
EDITOR: Actor Satoru Matsuo.
You might spot him on screen
from time to time in supporting roles.
-DIRECTOR: Cut!
-ASSITANT: Cut!
Break time!
Oh, excuse me.
Do you mind if I wait in here?
Sure, go ahead.
EDITOR: A story that he had begun writing
had left me, a literary editor,
strangely fascinated
and I found myself getting involved.
(phone vibrating)
Hello?
Oh, Mari, thank you for calling.
(clears throat)
This is Machu...
This is the author, Satoru Matsuo.
(chuckles)
What? Of course, I've been writing!
Actually, this time, I'm working on...
a third-rate man's romantic adventures.
It's a love story!
(laughs)
-EDITOR: That's just gross!
-Whoa! You startled me!
A love story? Your love story?
In case you forgot,
what interests me is the secret
of how a third-rate man
became a successful actor!
-(sighs)
-Are you boasting now?
Like I'd ever have anything
to boast about!
Don't worry,
even my romances are third-rate.
(Mr. Matsuo sighs)
When I was in elementary school,
they called me "Mr. Piggyback."
MR. MATSUO: When I confessed to a girl,
she asked for a piggyback ride.
MR. MATSUO:
I was so happy that every day at recess,
-I carried her on my back...
-GIRL: Mr. Piggyback!
...from the classroom to the playground.
-GIRL: Mr. Piggyback!
-She soon lost interest in me, though.
And then, when I was in high school...
(gentle music)
MATSUDO: Heading home?
Bye now!
MALE STUDENT: Sorry I'm late.
FURUHASHI: It's fine! Let's go.
MATSUDO: Furuhashi was the third
cutest girl in our grade,
and she was always hanging
on some guy's back.
Man, I'd love to have her ride
behind me like that!
I'd rather have Nomoto, though...
SUGITA: Oh, Nomoto.
It won't be long
before Furuhashi changes rides.
What?
NOMOTO:
You can tell by the way she's sitting.
She's only got one arm around him.
SUGITA: You're right.
This is your chance! Go on! You can do it!
-Hey, loan me your bike. Please!
-Huh? Now?
-Please.
-Hold on a second!
-NOMOTO: How am I supposed to...
-MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
SUGITA:
Hey, Nomoto's bike isn't a two-seater!
-MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
-SUGITA: There's no space at the back!
-SUGITA: This is great!
-NOMOTO: What the...
Is this thing brand new?
You should definitely have a chance now!
The bike isn't the issue, though.
(laughter)
MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
We can start as friends...
Would you do me the pleasure
of riding behind me?
Sorry.
It's friends forever for us.
(motorcycle approaching)
MALE STUDENT: Off we go!
NOMOTO UDON NOODLE RESTAURANT
(Matsudo crying)
Don't feel bad,
you can't win against a scooter.
Right? Oh, whatever.
I'd prefer the back of your bike.
SUGITA: For real?
If you mean it, then ride with me!
SUGITA: Are you crazy?
It's not to be.
Two people with type AB blood
make a bad couple.
(Matsudo grunts)
NOMOTO: Look at my parents.
They just got divorced.
I really am sorry.
NOMOTO'S MOM: Okay! Two bowls of udon!
-Eat up! Okay?
-Could I get a beer?
Besides, I'm sure you'll find someone
who's right for you.
-What?
-SUGITA: Right?
Don't worry,
you'll find the right girl one day.
SUGITA: Right?
MATSUDO: I never did go out with Nomoto,
but I did muster the strength to confess.
-My shoulder! It hurts!...
-FEMALE STUDENT: Here?
-I like you.
-What?
-I only have eyes for you.
-Let's be friends.
MATSUDO: After that,
I was rejected 14 times in a row.
It was a new local record.
Come on, we're friends!
-I like you!
-Let's be friends!
-I like you!
-Let's be friends!
I'm in love with you!
We're just friends though!
ALL: We're just friends, though!
l...
TOKYO
THE YEAR 2000
Fourteen rejections in a row?
That's quite an accomplishment!
I don't believe it.
TABATA:
After all, you're a really funny guy!
But hey, you'll get a girlfriend soon.
What?
I'm sure you'll meet someone
who's right for you, Satoru.
TABATA:
I mean, you live in Kita Aoyama, right?
How cool is that?
It's not like that at all!
My apartment building's a dump.
Plus, my roommate bailed on me
and I have to pay rent on my own.
TABATA:
Huh? That's a pretty rotten thing to do!
But in that case, I'd like to visit.
What?
Really? You would?
-MATSUDO: You're more than welcome!
-I can't wait.
I'm sure you'll find someone
who's right for you.
MATSUDO: So then, is this girl Tabata
the one who's right for me?
I can't let my streak extend to 15.
-TABATA: Don't work yourself to death.
-I've already died twice.
But then, I'm immortal.
(both laughing)
So will you really come over?
Matsudo, don't tell me
you're really Jason...
I don't know about Jason.
More like Freddy Krueger or...
No chatting on the sales floor!
-Well...
-Sorry.
-I'll be going, then.
-See ya!
Oh, if it isn't Tabata.
NAKATA: You off?
Quit drooling, will you?
Master back!
EDITOR: This is the story of a lost man
who is destined to be found
again and again.
Welcome!
It's a TV drama,
based on one hell of a true story,
but the names of characters
and organizations who appear
have mostly been changed.
Thank you for renting with us!
(theme music)
Huh?
Then you live alone, now?
That's right. The rent is a nightmare!
If I don't find somewhere new, soon...
In that case...
What about rooming together?
Huh? With who?
With me. Is that a problem?
No, no, no...
It's no problem at all!
In fact, you'd be helping me.
But in that case, I'd like to visit.
(echoing)
No way. Right? They don't just move in.
Exactly. I've got nowhere to go.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.
A divorce decree, I guess.
"Get out!" she says.
That's because you never
get off your butt and make a movie.
No girl wants a boyfriend who spends
eight years working at a video store.
-Definitely not, right?
-And what about a failed comedian, huh?
It's not about success or failure.
You know...
you have to show them
you're giving it your all.
I've had a bunch of auditions, you know.
You too, right Matsudo?
I guess.
MATSUDO: Uh-oh. I completely forgot
about my aspirations as an actor.
(cheerful music)
Well, it's just that...
I can't write a good script.
In that case...
why not have Yoshimira write one for you?
(men chuckling)
What's that?
(laughs)
You'll eat those words, you know.
It'll be like a "Nikkatsu Roman Porno"
if I do it.
What's wrong with that?
You'll be the star, Matsudo.
And we can ask Tabata to co-star.
MATSUDO: Are you out of your mind?
That sounds like a dream!
NAKATA: Oh, my God, he's into it.
That girl's not the "roman porno" type.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
TSUKAMOTO: There.
-I'm leaving these here, okay?
-MATSUDO: Sure.
MATSUDO: Tsukamoto became my new roommate.
(grunts)
No end in sight.
-MATSUDO: Man...
-Oh, that's right.
Here's...
this month's rent.
Thanks.
I'm coming for you!
MATSUDO:
Tsukamoto had yet to make a movie,
but he would sometimes start
writing scripts suddenly.
(keyboard clacking)
-How is it?
-MATSUDO (grunts): Well...
To be honest, I don't get it.
Me neither.
Man, you guys are harsh.
The two of you really are from Kansai.
Maybe you really should
have Yoshimira write it.
He's right. We just have to start filming.
Yeah. I know I should just do it,
but unless I save some money...
I wonder if Tabata really would do it.
(laughter)
What are you saying?
Not with this crap script!
What kind of movies does she like?
-I'll bet it's stuff like Amelie.
-I've heard she likes zombie movies.
-What?
-Don't tell me...
she likes George Romero?
Either way, I don't really go
for horror movies or girls like her.
You've heard of "pixie girls," right?
It's all an act with her.
Listen, dumbass.
No one asked for your opinion.
Tsukamoto... can you recommend
some horror films for me?
MALE EMPLOYEE: The base fee is...
MATSUDO: The next afternoon...
The Shining is great and all,
but I like Romero better than Kubrick.
Then again,
you should start with The Evil Dead.
THE EVIL DEAD
Sam Raimi made it in film school,
you know!
(exciting music)
Welcome.
Huh? Matsudo, is that you?
(chuckles)
I didn't recognize you
in your street clothes.
Come on, I don't look that different.
These, please.
Okay.
(Tabata gasps)
Do you like horror movies?
Well, yeah I do.
(groans)
Didn't I mention that?
Not a word!
(gasps)
Oh, I love The Evil Dead!
It's great, right?
Definitely Sam Raimi's best.
MATSUDO: You know...
-He made it when he was still a student.
-TABATA: I read that, yeah.
The star, Bruce Campbell,
was his classmate or something.
(chuckles)
I'm not sure what that means.
-(beeps)
-I'm a big fan of his.
It's too bad he only appears
in Sam Raimi's movies.
-(beeps)
-Oh, that's right.
You're an actor too, aren't you?
What?
(chuckles)
Why do you ask?
I heard everything from Nakata!
You auditioned for Kandenchi?
-(chuckles)
-TABATA: That's amazing!
I'm a big fan of Bengal.
Why the hell would you want
to work in the theater?
If you're ever in a movie,
you have to tell me!
I promise I'll go see it!
MATSUDO: Hearing that,
I was desperate to have my name
out in the world as an actor, but...
TRAINER: Work on your facial expressions.
You've got to do better than that.
You still look stiff!
MATSUDO:
All I've been doing is catwalk lessons.
More... give me something animalistic.
TRAINER: Yes, that's better.
HEIGO HIRAYAMA ACTING WORKSHOP
MATSUDO: An acting workshop?
What? For my sake?
In your dreams!
Mr. Hirayama's on his way here now.
He used to live in London
and he's a bit strict,
but I think he's wonderful.
(mutters softly)
YAMAMURA: Right?
MATSUDO (sobbing):
Why is this happening to me?
Why...
is this happening...
At least let me... steak...
shake hands with you.
"Steak hands?"
Not happening.
Why would you shake hands?
She's got an incurable disease.
She's breaking up with you
to avoid causing you trouble.
Right? Show some consideration!
Well...
I thought it would be funny.
Funny? Are you that stupid?
This isn't a comedy.
It's a tragedy.
In the first place,
with your poor diction,
you shouldn't ad-lib.
MR. HIRAYAMA: This isn't a comedy sketch.
Thank you! Next!
(upbeat music)
WOMAN: What? Now you're stress eating?
Try working on your acting first!
Okay. That'll be 3,000 yen.
What? I have to pay for that?
It's a heck of a lot cheaper
than other places.
Say...
I think it's time
you tried some auditions.
What? Auditions?
Auditions? Miss, he's not ready!
You can't keep spoiling him!
It's not to spoil him.
It's so he learns how hard it is.
Go take some.
And then you'll realize
what it is you lack.
YAMAMURA: Make him a profile.
Why three fingers?
-MATSUDO: Sorry.
-WOMAN: There's something wrong with you.
Okay. Here we go... I told you!
WOMAN: Unbelievable...
Your talent is rock, paper, scissors?
MATSUDO: Whatever the case, the first step
for an actor is auditioning.
(upbeat music)
I'm from FMC. My name's Matsu...
Matsu... Matsudo.
Satoru Matsudo, right?
Please wait over there.
(indistinct chattering)
(man panting)
MATSUDO: It was almost like...
a zoo.
There are two types
of people in the world.
Those who can and those who can't.
By the way, I'm one who can.
The name's Kei Tomita.
HIRING DIRECTOR: Thank you very much.
-Next!
-Here!
FM...
I'm from FMC.
My name's... Matsudo. Matsudo, Matsu...
Saroru... Satoru!
Anything to say?
-Excuse me?
-Is there anything you want to say?
MATSUDO: At an audition,
being asked if you have anything to say
is code for "say something interesting."
(sighs)
Recently,
despite my age...
I've suddenly grown more hairy.
(laughs)
If there's no response,
I assume I didn't get the part.
Oh, and by the way...
I'm from FMC. My name's Satoru Matsudo.
Anything to say?
Well...
I've recently grown addicted...
to watching public apologies.
(laughter)
I've got this one!
Or so I thought, until I failed again.
The mystery of auditions...
is that you fail
no matter how they respond.
To be honest...
more than movies like The Exorcist,
I like to see guts flying,
like in splatter movies.
TABATA: The really gory ones.
If we're talking zombie movies,
there's one...
I think it was Day of the Dead,
where bodies just get pulled apart.
Living people get their eyes poked out...
and then their heads get ripped off.
Zombies may be rotting,
but they're still pretty strong!
MATSUDO: Seeing how much she enjoys
talking about this stuff
helped me forget the pain
of failing my auditions.
TABATA: Matsudo?
Matsudo!
(chuckles)
Sorry.
Did I weird you out?
Oh, not at all!
(chuckles)
That's actually
why my last boyfriend dumped me.
I made him watch too many horror movies.
Huh? What kind of reason
is that to break up?
It was my fault.
I put on Cannibal Holocaust
while we were eating.
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
What's wrong with that?
I could stuff myself to this!
-Right?
-(laughs)
Five bowls of rice, even!
TABATA: Now I'm hungry.
Well,
in that case...
do you want...
to get something to eat?
-I'm really hungry.
-I'd better head home, then.
"Head home?" That's sudden...
You're going home? Oh...
I'll walk you to the station, then!
-I'm serious! It really happened!
-You're putting me on!
How often do you find a plane ticket
that belongs to a company president?
Plus, their office
is right behind my apartment.
Even more unbelievable
is that it's a modeling agency.
What do they want with me?
(Tabata laughing)
-What?
-MATSUDO: Like this. Try it!
-What?
-Come on! Let's do it together!
Come on, one, two, three...
(Tabata laughing)
-You do this too.
-That's so awesome!
(laughter)
Anyway... here is fine.
Huh? Why? I'll walk you all the way.
It's fine. Don't trouble yourself.
It's no trouble at all! You're doing me
a favor! I collect train tickets.
I've been wanting
a Keio Line ticket for a long time.
TABATA: How can you say crazy stuff
like that without hesitation?
You really are awesome, you know.
It's because of the auditions I've had.
MATSUDO:
I have to say silly stuff on command.
I see. Auditions, huh?
I expect no less from an actor.
(upbeat music)
It's nothing like that!
Oh, but this is an audition too.
In a way...
What?
You might as well let me ride
to the nearest station.
No turning back now!
Let me have at least
one successful audition.
(chuckles)
(upbeat music)
Yeah!
(bicycle bell rings)
MATSUDO: I wanted to embrace her.
To hug her really tight. But...
I couldn't do that out of the blue.
(train rumbling)
TABATA: Well...
I live around here.
MATSUDO: Oh, right.
We're just friends, okay?
Huh?
Friends...
It's friends forever for us.
-Let's be friends.
-I said we're friends!
-Friends!
-Friends!
-Friends.
-We're just friends, though!
STUDENTS: We're just friends, though!
MATSUDO: No. This time is different.
When I held her hand,
she didn't push me away.
She even seemed to be beckoning me.
No chance?
Are you sure I have no chance?
(upbeat music)
I'd like it...
if you gave me some time.
Sure.
I'll wait.
Okay.
Well then, good night.
TABATA: Good night.
A hand steak... I mean a handshake.
(chuckles)
Bye...
I'll be waiting.
MATSUDO (singing):
♪ On nights when I'm in love ♪
♪ It feels like everything
Will go my way ♪
MATSUDO: Since arriving in Tokyo...
No, for as long as I could remember,
I've never had a night so happy.
(dramatic music)
(Matsudo panting)
(giggling)
What are you thinking?
Tsukamoto?
Tsukamoto?
(chuckles)
-MATSUDO: I said...
-TSUKAMOTO: Oh, welcome home.
MATSUDO: What are you thinking?
Hi.
TSUKAMOTO: We've been waiting.
-MATSUDO: A movie?
-TSUKAMOTO: Yes.
It's not a big production or anything,
but it's not a self-made film...
-It's a commercial.
-A commercial film?
And I can be in it? Me?
Well, it seems that they need people
to play soldiers. Right?
I definitely want to do it!
You'll need to shed some fat
to play a soldier.
Well, I guess makeup can handle it.
Is Mr. Hayashi...
staff or something?
Why would you think I'm staff?
One look should tell you that!
TSUKAMOTO: Hayashi's an actor too.
I've thought about casting him
in one of my films a number of times.
HAYASHI: You'll need a suntan.
You're a Japanese soldier
lost in the jungle!
Tanning, or whatever else it takes.
I'm your man!
EXPENSE REPORT
YAMAMURA: I'm really happy for you.
A soldier role suits you perfectly!
I said so, right?
That he'd make a good soldier.
Well...
you suddenly look rather masculine!
(laughs)
What soldier is this hard up for cash?
We already paid for your suntan
and now transportation, too?
This is a first, you know.
No one's ever asked
for an advance so quickly.
-MATSUDO: Forgive me!
-YAMAMURA: Oh, but I'm proud of you.
You've found a debut
without our help!
He didn't find anything.
Someone found him.
YAMAMURA:
I guess you're right. But who cares.
The important thing
is to grasp hold of that luck
and those fateful connections!
MATSUDO: Sorry. My mother's calling.
Hello? What is it?
Don't give me that!
You promised to tell me your address!
So I can send you rice.
I can buy my own rice.
I'm busy, so I'm hanging up.
Hold on a second, will you?
What do you mean busy?
As an actor?
I have a shoot tomorrow.
A "shoot"?
In that case, you should
try talking to your father again.
MATSUDO'S MOM: Come home for a bit.
Huh? Talk about what?
He doesn't care about what I'm doing.
MATSUDO: He never listens, anyway.
So talk to me, then.
Takeshi's in America.
I can't even phone him.
Your mom's lonely!
Okay, I get it. I'm hanging up now.
Yes, I really am busy. Bye now.
TABATA:
You look pretty cool with that suntan.
(chuckles)
As far as war movies go...
I've only ever seen one, but I love it!
It was called Cross of Iron.
I thought it would be a horror movie.
But it was pretty gory!
Oh, yeah?
I'll watch it for research, then.
MATSUDO: Cross of Iron?
I feel like I've heard of it...
(faint upbeat music playing)
Oh, sorry.
Bye, then. I'll be waiting.
See ya!
Would you mind never doing
that "see ya" thing again?
It's really obnoxious.
MATSUDO:
With high expectations for Tabata's reply,
I left for the set of my acting debut.
(gagging)
Are you okay?
MATSUDO: You... You reek of alcohol.
I, uh... drank a bit too much last night.
I thought being hung over
would help me get in character.
(Hayashi retching)
(panting)
(groaning)
(screaming)
Run!
(explosion)
(motor whirring)
You idiots!
This is the island of Peleliu!
Over that horizon,
are terrifying American soldiers!
CREW: Show me your determination!
Now, run! Flee!
CREW:
Run, you subhumans! Faster! I said run!
Jackasses! Run!
Boom! Ka-blam!
(explosion)
(epic music)
(indistinct shouts)
(explosion)
(indistinct shouts)
(gagging)
(Hayashi panting)
-ACTOR: Right, understood.
-Are you okay?
You're all a bunch of amateurs!
Run like this is the napalm
scene from Apocalypse Now!
CREW: Ride of the Valkyries is playing!
(helicopters whirring)
I've never seen Apocalypse Now.
What's he talking about?
I'm just not into Coppola.
So I've never seen it.
(breathing heavily)
I'll try and find out.
You twit...
Someone who's never seen Apocalypse Now
has no business being an actor!
CREW: Okay, next scene.
MATSUDO: In the next scene,
I was suddenly given lines
for the first time.
CREW:
Don't let me down. Give me a real death!
-HAYASHI: Okay.
-CREW: Okay. Let's do it.
-Okay.
-Rolling!
CAMERAMAN: Okay, rolling!
And...
action!
(camera whirring)
MATSUDO: Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Let's try that again.
And...
action!
Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: One more time.
Okay. And...
Action!
Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
This isn't working.
You've got to say the lines with feeling.
You're just moving your lips.
Feeling...
Instead of "hang in there,"
let's make it "don't die on me."
-Does that work, Mr. Director?
-DIRECTOR: Sure. Let's try it again.
"Don't die... don't die..."
And...
Action!
-MATSUDO: Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Cut!
(Hayashi groans, coughs)
Sorry.
Listen, I told you I'm feeling sick.
Don't shake me so strongly!
Besides,
that's not what I meant by feeling.
Shake him harder.
(Hayashi groaning)
Like this! More!
(coughing)
MATSUDO: For the next ten takes,
I shook Mr. Hayashi.
-Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Nope. Again.
-Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Not yet. Again!
-Don't d...
-DIRECTOR: No! Again!
(yelling)
Don dir oh me!
Don't die!
Don't die!
Don't die on me!
Don't die on me!
(sobbing)
(sobbing continues)
DIRECTOR: Cut! Okay!
(dramatic music)
All right. Onto the next location.
We don't have much time.
(exhales heavily)
(breathing heavily)
HYOGO PREFECTURE
MUKO RIVER
(train hissing)
MATSUDO: A short time later,
I went back to my hometown.
(dramatic music continues)
MATSUDO'S MOM: So guess what...
I finally heard from Takeshi.
He's working part-time
and going to university.
Hey, Heizo!
Won't you join us?
MATSUDO'S MOM: So tell me,
what kind of movie were you in?
It ain't a porno, right?
A war movie. I have lines, too.
What? Ain't that something.
What did you say?
There's a badly wounded soldier,
and I yell, "Don't die on me!"
Really? That's amazing!
MATSUDO: It's not that amazing.
It's just one line.
Hey, you...
did you come all the way back here
to tell us that stupid story?
MATSUDO'S MOM: Come on...
You ain't got to be that way!
He ain't come home for a while!
I know...
Eat something!
You'll stay here tonight, right?
No.
I'm going home.
MATSUDO'S MOM: Your father is just...
It's like his brain has a flat tire!
In his time, he could never dream
of being an actor or anything.
First Takeshi goes to America,
then you with this stuff!
He doesn't know what to do!
I told you I don't like futomaki.
Wait, what?
MATSUDO'S MOM: Where are you...
Satoru?
(somber music)
(groans)
(groaning)
(train rumbling)
YOUNG MATSUDO: Slow down, will you!
YOUNG TAKESHI: Hurry up!
I said slow down!
-YOUNG TAKESHI: Pedal faster!
-YOUNG MATSUDO: Why?
YOUNG TAKESHI: Faster!
-YOUNG MATSUDO: Wait for me, big bro!
-Hurry up!
YOUNG MATSUDO: I said wait!
YOUNG TAKESHI: I'm going ahead!
Big bro, wait!
YOUNG MATSUDO:
Big bro, don't leave me here!
I'm praying that Satoru
becomes the next Robert De Niro.
I'll show you Robert De Niro!
(indistinct shouts)
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
(chattering on movie)
(dramatic music)
(explosions on movie)
(Matsudo sobbing)
(panting)
(somber music)
(distant explosions)
(applause)
MATSUDO: My first ever lines were cut,
but I was there, inside the movie.
Oh, Mr. Hayashi!
Thank you for everything.
I really learned a lot.
I never knew that watching yourself
on the big screen makes you this nervous.
You made the cut. Good for you.
What?
Hayashi didn't make it on screen.
(both sigh)
He seems pretty hurt.
I'd love to have a celebratory drink,
but I'd better go with him.
Matsudo, you looked good on screen.
I'm happy for you.
TSUKAMOTO: Then that's good.
HAYASHI: But I wasn't even there.
TSUKAMOTO: No, it was just...
MATSUDO: Though he wasn't the best
role model, it felt like he'd taught me
something about how tough
an actor's life can be.
I was right all along.
Acting is what I want to do.
Tabata... I'm coming!
I'm sorry!
What?
I have... a boyfriend now.
What?
But...
H-Hold on a second.
W-What are you saying?
MATSUDO: Wait a minute, here!
Just wait! Since when?
Who is it?
-I can't tell you.
-Huh?
Don't tell me...
it's someone I know?
(dramatic music)
Wait! Who is it?
Is it someone who works here?
On the afternoon shift?
Endo? Minami?
Ushiroda, maybe... When did it happen?
I know! Ki... it's Kimura! Isn't it?
Leave me alone!
(gate opens)
(closes)
(ominous music)
(pants)
(indistinct PA announcement)
I know everything.
I know everything.
MATSUDO: Unable to give up,
I searched high and low for the culprit.
I know everything. About Tabata.
-I know everything.
-You know this movie?
It's great, right?
Thank you for waiting.
Here are your items.
CUSTOMER: Thank you very much.
(indistinct PA announcement)
(gasps)
Excuse me... I love your work
in Body and Soul...
Isn't it boring?
No, I love it.
Thank you very much.
You won't believe it!
Akira Emoto was here!
He came to Yoshimira's corner!
You're a fan, right?
What?
I know everything.
Know what?
I know... about Tabata.
How did you find out?
-What?
-What?
-What?
-What?
How did I find out? You mean it's true?
Forgive me!
-You...
-NAKATA: I'm sorry!
You said she wasn't your type!
It's just... our sense of humor clicked.
She laughed at all my jokes,
just cackling at whatever I said.
She'd say, "Nakata, you're so awesome!"
After hearing it over and over again,
she started to look awesome too!
Maybe we're both awesome?
We've got no choice but to date, right?
NAKATA: I'm a man too, you know.
So I just decided to act...
You're getting on my nerves.
NAKATA: Sorry!
(Matsudo breathing angrily)
(grunting)
(woman over PA) Unable to express
their feelings to one another,
the two end up going
their separate ways...
CUSTOMER: Excuse me!
Excuse me...
Welcome!
-These, please.
-Certainly. I'll take care of it.
-Your card, please.
-Here.
Thank you.
-How many days...
-One week, please.
One week.
Here's your card. Excuse me...
-(beeping)
-Okay. Right...
Got it, thank you
(upbeat music)
(sobbing)
CUSTOMER: I'm in a bit of a hurry.
(sobbing)
(panting)
(sobbing continues)
(cheerful music)
(screaming, sobbing)
Not bad.
Those tears don't lie.
Sincerity like this is the answer.
That's what acting's about.
(crying)
Okay. Next!
(Matsudo screams)
Welcome!
What is this, exactly?
Welcome!
What are you trying to show me?
Welco...
-TABATA: You don't mind?
-MAN: Yeah.
Enough already! Go back.
Wow, that's amazing!
They're so hard.
You're awesome!
MATSUDO:
Before long, Nakata was rejected too.
You said I was awesome too!
YAMAMURA: Whoa!
MATSUDO: I may have failed at love
and at my auditions,
but a surprising new job came my way.
YAMAMURA: I can't take much more of this.
-You've really got me worried.
-MATSUDO: Sorry.
-Hi there!
-MAN: You'd better watch your step.
Thank you.
-Okay.
-Right.
(upbeat music)
You...
We're here to protect
the face of the company.
Why did you rent such a small car?
-Sorry!
-Unbelievable...
MAN: Okay, test shot!
-WOMAN: Test!
-MAN: Get ready!
They don't need you!
MAN: Action!
(actor laughing)
What was that for?
DIRECTOR: Cut!
YAMAMURA: Matsudo!
This is Matsudo!
Matsudo, this is Haru.
N-Nice to meet you! I'm Matsudo.
(laughs)
Nice to meet you. I'm Haruka Igawa.
YAMAMURA:
Hey, this is no time to admire her! Move!
The back seat, you moron!
She'll ride in the back.
WOMAN: Sorry, everybody!
MATSUDO: Chauffeur for a veteran actress.
I'm as far as ever from becoming an actor.
All in?
HARUKA: My brother doesn't like it.
-For my brother...
-(rumbling)
Sorry.
-The phone's ringing.
-Excuse me?
It's just my lines.
Oh, right.
HARUKA: Hey, you need to turn there!
Huh? Wh... Oh, there.
(chuckles)
EDITOR: An actress who soothed the world
and made her big break...
Who knows,
maybe the unexpected will happen.
But that's a story for another time.
(radio playing)
MAN (on radio in English):
Bing, bang, boom!
WHT Chicago!
Another beautiful, but of course,
windy day here
in the windy city of Chi-Town.
-And as always, we're here...
-WOMAN: It's not stupid!
I humiliated my family, so I plunge
a friggin' dagger into my stomach?
-SELLER: It's a horror...
-WOMAN: That is stupid!
-Hey, how you doing?
-TAKESHI: Hey.
(man speaking on radio)
You Japanese?
Yeah.
These Godzilla movies are awesome, dude!
(laughs, imitates roaring)
TAKESHI: No, no, no.
It's pronounced as "Go-ji-ra."
Godzilla is fake.
Go-ji-ra.
-TAKESHI: Yeah!
-SELLER: Gojira!
(imitates Godzilla roaring)
(imitates Godzilla roaring)
(dramatic music)
Ms. Haruko has arrived!
MAN: These days, everyone's looking
for something to soothe them.
But then, no one cares
who I really am, do they?
-What?
-(mumbles)
MATSUDO: There's no one
who could replace you, Ms. Haruka.
I can't help but feel a little jealous.
I'll backdrop you myself!
A prisoner role.
MATSUDO: I've dreamed of working
with this director!
ACTING IS AN ENDLESS
SERIES OF BATTLES!
MAN: Don't think you can get by
with expressions like that.
"The rugged Pyrrhus he whose sable arms"
MATSUDO: "Black as his purpose
Did the night resemble."
(screaming)
EDITOR: Actor Satoru Matsuo.
You might spot him on screen
from time to time in supporting roles.
-DIRECTOR: Cut!
-ASSITANT: Cut!
Break time!
Oh, excuse me.
Do you mind if I wait in here?
Sure, go ahead.
EDITOR: A story that he had begun writing
had left me, a literary editor,
strangely fascinated
and I found myself getting involved.
(phone vibrating)
Hello?
Oh, Mari, thank you for calling.
(clears throat)
This is Machu...
This is the author, Satoru Matsuo.
(chuckles)
What? Of course, I've been writing!
Actually, this time, I'm working on...
a third-rate man's romantic adventures.
It's a love story!
(laughs)
-EDITOR: That's just gross!
-Whoa! You startled me!
A love story? Your love story?
In case you forgot,
what interests me is the secret
of how a third-rate man
became a successful actor!
-(sighs)
-Are you boasting now?
Like I'd ever have anything
to boast about!
Don't worry,
even my romances are third-rate.
(Mr. Matsuo sighs)
When I was in elementary school,
they called me "Mr. Piggyback."
MR. MATSUO: When I confessed to a girl,
she asked for a piggyback ride.
MR. MATSUO:
I was so happy that every day at recess,
-I carried her on my back...
-GIRL: Mr. Piggyback!
...from the classroom to the playground.
-GIRL: Mr. Piggyback!
-She soon lost interest in me, though.
And then, when I was in high school...
(gentle music)
MATSUDO: Heading home?
Bye now!
MALE STUDENT: Sorry I'm late.
FURUHASHI: It's fine! Let's go.
MATSUDO: Furuhashi was the third
cutest girl in our grade,
and she was always hanging
on some guy's back.
Man, I'd love to have her ride
behind me like that!
I'd rather have Nomoto, though...
SUGITA: Oh, Nomoto.
It won't be long
before Furuhashi changes rides.
What?
NOMOTO:
You can tell by the way she's sitting.
She's only got one arm around him.
SUGITA: You're right.
This is your chance! Go on! You can do it!
-Hey, loan me your bike. Please!
-Huh? Now?
-Please.
-Hold on a second!
-NOMOTO: How am I supposed to...
-MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
SUGITA:
Hey, Nomoto's bike isn't a two-seater!
-MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
-SUGITA: There's no space at the back!
-SUGITA: This is great!
-NOMOTO: What the...
Is this thing brand new?
You should definitely have a chance now!
The bike isn't the issue, though.
(laughter)
MATSUDO: Furuhashi!
We can start as friends...
Would you do me the pleasure
of riding behind me?
Sorry.
It's friends forever for us.
(motorcycle approaching)
MALE STUDENT: Off we go!
NOMOTO UDON NOODLE RESTAURANT
(Matsudo crying)
Don't feel bad,
you can't win against a scooter.
Right? Oh, whatever.
I'd prefer the back of your bike.
SUGITA: For real?
If you mean it, then ride with me!
SUGITA: Are you crazy?
It's not to be.
Two people with type AB blood
make a bad couple.
(Matsudo grunts)
NOMOTO: Look at my parents.
They just got divorced.
I really am sorry.
NOMOTO'S MOM: Okay! Two bowls of udon!
-Eat up! Okay?
-Could I get a beer?
Besides, I'm sure you'll find someone
who's right for you.
-What?
-SUGITA: Right?
Don't worry,
you'll find the right girl one day.
SUGITA: Right?
MATSUDO: I never did go out with Nomoto,
but I did muster the strength to confess.
-My shoulder! It hurts!...
-FEMALE STUDENT: Here?
-I like you.
-What?
-I only have eyes for you.
-Let's be friends.
MATSUDO: After that,
I was rejected 14 times in a row.
It was a new local record.
Come on, we're friends!
-I like you!
-Let's be friends!
-I like you!
-Let's be friends!
I'm in love with you!
We're just friends though!
ALL: We're just friends, though!
l...
TOKYO
THE YEAR 2000
Fourteen rejections in a row?
That's quite an accomplishment!
I don't believe it.
TABATA:
After all, you're a really funny guy!
But hey, you'll get a girlfriend soon.
What?
I'm sure you'll meet someone
who's right for you, Satoru.
TABATA:
I mean, you live in Kita Aoyama, right?
How cool is that?
It's not like that at all!
My apartment building's a dump.
Plus, my roommate bailed on me
and I have to pay rent on my own.
TABATA:
Huh? That's a pretty rotten thing to do!
But in that case, I'd like to visit.
What?
Really? You would?
-MATSUDO: You're more than welcome!
-I can't wait.
I'm sure you'll find someone
who's right for you.
MATSUDO: So then, is this girl Tabata
the one who's right for me?
I can't let my streak extend to 15.
-TABATA: Don't work yourself to death.
-I've already died twice.
But then, I'm immortal.
(both laughing)
So will you really come over?
Matsudo, don't tell me
you're really Jason...
I don't know about Jason.
More like Freddy Krueger or...
No chatting on the sales floor!
-Well...
-Sorry.
-I'll be going, then.
-See ya!
Oh, if it isn't Tabata.
NAKATA: You off?
Quit drooling, will you?
Master back!
EDITOR: This is the story of a lost man
who is destined to be found
again and again.
Welcome!
It's a TV drama,
based on one hell of a true story,
but the names of characters
and organizations who appear
have mostly been changed.
Thank you for renting with us!
(theme music)
Huh?
Then you live alone, now?
That's right. The rent is a nightmare!
If I don't find somewhere new, soon...
In that case...
What about rooming together?
Huh? With who?
With me. Is that a problem?
No, no, no...
It's no problem at all!
In fact, you'd be helping me.
But in that case, I'd like to visit.
(echoing)
No way. Right? They don't just move in.
Exactly. I've got nowhere to go.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.
A divorce decree, I guess.
"Get out!" she says.
That's because you never
get off your butt and make a movie.
No girl wants a boyfriend who spends
eight years working at a video store.
-Definitely not, right?
-And what about a failed comedian, huh?
It's not about success or failure.
You know...
you have to show them
you're giving it your all.
I've had a bunch of auditions, you know.
You too, right Matsudo?
I guess.
MATSUDO: Uh-oh. I completely forgot
about my aspirations as an actor.
(cheerful music)
Well, it's just that...
I can't write a good script.
In that case...
why not have Yoshimira write one for you?
(men chuckling)
What's that?
(laughs)
You'll eat those words, you know.
It'll be like a "Nikkatsu Roman Porno"
if I do it.
What's wrong with that?
You'll be the star, Matsudo.
And we can ask Tabata to co-star.
MATSUDO: Are you out of your mind?
That sounds like a dream!
NAKATA: Oh, my God, he's into it.
That girl's not the "roman porno" type.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER
TSUKAMOTO: There.
-I'm leaving these here, okay?
-MATSUDO: Sure.
MATSUDO: Tsukamoto became my new roommate.
(grunts)
No end in sight.
-MATSUDO: Man...
-Oh, that's right.
Here's...
this month's rent.
Thanks.
I'm coming for you!
MATSUDO:
Tsukamoto had yet to make a movie,
but he would sometimes start
writing scripts suddenly.
(keyboard clacking)
-How is it?
-MATSUDO (grunts): Well...
To be honest, I don't get it.
Me neither.
Man, you guys are harsh.
The two of you really are from Kansai.
Maybe you really should
have Yoshimira write it.
He's right. We just have to start filming.
Yeah. I know I should just do it,
but unless I save some money...
I wonder if Tabata really would do it.
(laughter)
What are you saying?
Not with this crap script!
What kind of movies does she like?
-I'll bet it's stuff like Amelie.
-I've heard she likes zombie movies.
-What?
-Don't tell me...
she likes George Romero?
Either way, I don't really go
for horror movies or girls like her.
You've heard of "pixie girls," right?
It's all an act with her.
Listen, dumbass.
No one asked for your opinion.
Tsukamoto... can you recommend
some horror films for me?
MALE EMPLOYEE: The base fee is...
MATSUDO: The next afternoon...
The Shining is great and all,
but I like Romero better than Kubrick.
Then again,
you should start with The Evil Dead.
THE EVIL DEAD
Sam Raimi made it in film school,
you know!
(exciting music)
Welcome.
Huh? Matsudo, is that you?
(chuckles)
I didn't recognize you
in your street clothes.
Come on, I don't look that different.
These, please.
Okay.
(Tabata gasps)
Do you like horror movies?
Well, yeah I do.
(groans)
Didn't I mention that?
Not a word!
(gasps)
Oh, I love The Evil Dead!
It's great, right?
Definitely Sam Raimi's best.
MATSUDO: You know...
-He made it when he was still a student.
-TABATA: I read that, yeah.
The star, Bruce Campbell,
was his classmate or something.
(chuckles)
I'm not sure what that means.
-(beeps)
-I'm a big fan of his.
It's too bad he only appears
in Sam Raimi's movies.
-(beeps)
-Oh, that's right.
You're an actor too, aren't you?
What?
(chuckles)
Why do you ask?
I heard everything from Nakata!
You auditioned for Kandenchi?
-(chuckles)
-TABATA: That's amazing!
I'm a big fan of Bengal.
Why the hell would you want
to work in the theater?
If you're ever in a movie,
you have to tell me!
I promise I'll go see it!
MATSUDO: Hearing that,
I was desperate to have my name
out in the world as an actor, but...
TRAINER: Work on your facial expressions.
You've got to do better than that.
You still look stiff!
MATSUDO:
All I've been doing is catwalk lessons.
More... give me something animalistic.
TRAINER: Yes, that's better.
HEIGO HIRAYAMA ACTING WORKSHOP
MATSUDO: An acting workshop?
What? For my sake?
In your dreams!
Mr. Hirayama's on his way here now.
He used to live in London
and he's a bit strict,
but I think he's wonderful.
(mutters softly)
YAMAMURA: Right?
MATSUDO (sobbing):
Why is this happening to me?
Why...
is this happening...
At least let me... steak...
shake hands with you.
"Steak hands?"
Not happening.
Why would you shake hands?
She's got an incurable disease.
She's breaking up with you
to avoid causing you trouble.
Right? Show some consideration!
Well...
I thought it would be funny.
Funny? Are you that stupid?
This isn't a comedy.
It's a tragedy.
In the first place,
with your poor diction,
you shouldn't ad-lib.
MR. HIRAYAMA: This isn't a comedy sketch.
Thank you! Next!
(upbeat music)
WOMAN: What? Now you're stress eating?
Try working on your acting first!
Okay. That'll be 3,000 yen.
What? I have to pay for that?
It's a heck of a lot cheaper
than other places.
Say...
I think it's time
you tried some auditions.
What? Auditions?
Auditions? Miss, he's not ready!
You can't keep spoiling him!
It's not to spoil him.
It's so he learns how hard it is.
Go take some.
And then you'll realize
what it is you lack.
YAMAMURA: Make him a profile.
Why three fingers?
-MATSUDO: Sorry.
-WOMAN: There's something wrong with you.
Okay. Here we go... I told you!
WOMAN: Unbelievable...
Your talent is rock, paper, scissors?
MATSUDO: Whatever the case, the first step
for an actor is auditioning.
(upbeat music)
I'm from FMC. My name's Matsu...
Matsu... Matsudo.
Satoru Matsudo, right?
Please wait over there.
(indistinct chattering)
(man panting)
MATSUDO: It was almost like...
a zoo.
There are two types
of people in the world.
Those who can and those who can't.
By the way, I'm one who can.
The name's Kei Tomita.
HIRING DIRECTOR: Thank you very much.
-Next!
-Here!
FM...
I'm from FMC.
My name's... Matsudo. Matsudo, Matsu...
Saroru... Satoru!
Anything to say?
-Excuse me?
-Is there anything you want to say?
MATSUDO: At an audition,
being asked if you have anything to say
is code for "say something interesting."
(sighs)
Recently,
despite my age...
I've suddenly grown more hairy.
(laughs)
If there's no response,
I assume I didn't get the part.
Oh, and by the way...
I'm from FMC. My name's Satoru Matsudo.
Anything to say?
Well...
I've recently grown addicted...
to watching public apologies.
(laughter)
I've got this one!
Or so I thought, until I failed again.
The mystery of auditions...
is that you fail
no matter how they respond.
To be honest...
more than movies like The Exorcist,
I like to see guts flying,
like in splatter movies.
TABATA: The really gory ones.
If we're talking zombie movies,
there's one...
I think it was Day of the Dead,
where bodies just get pulled apart.
Living people get their eyes poked out...
and then their heads get ripped off.
Zombies may be rotting,
but they're still pretty strong!
MATSUDO: Seeing how much she enjoys
talking about this stuff
helped me forget the pain
of failing my auditions.
TABATA: Matsudo?
Matsudo!
(chuckles)
Sorry.
Did I weird you out?
Oh, not at all!
(chuckles)
That's actually
why my last boyfriend dumped me.
I made him watch too many horror movies.
Huh? What kind of reason
is that to break up?
It was my fault.
I put on Cannibal Holocaust
while we were eating.
CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
What's wrong with that?
I could stuff myself to this!
-Right?
-(laughs)
Five bowls of rice, even!
TABATA: Now I'm hungry.
Well,
in that case...
do you want...
to get something to eat?
-I'm really hungry.
-I'd better head home, then.
"Head home?" That's sudden...
You're going home? Oh...
I'll walk you to the station, then!
-I'm serious! It really happened!
-You're putting me on!
How often do you find a plane ticket
that belongs to a company president?
Plus, their office
is right behind my apartment.
Even more unbelievable
is that it's a modeling agency.
What do they want with me?
(Tabata laughing)
-What?
-MATSUDO: Like this. Try it!
-What?
-Come on! Let's do it together!
Come on, one, two, three...
(Tabata laughing)
-You do this too.
-That's so awesome!
(laughter)
Anyway... here is fine.
Huh? Why? I'll walk you all the way.
It's fine. Don't trouble yourself.
It's no trouble at all! You're doing me
a favor! I collect train tickets.
I've been wanting
a Keio Line ticket for a long time.
TABATA: How can you say crazy stuff
like that without hesitation?
You really are awesome, you know.
It's because of the auditions I've had.
MATSUDO:
I have to say silly stuff on command.
I see. Auditions, huh?
I expect no less from an actor.
(upbeat music)
It's nothing like that!
Oh, but this is an audition too.
In a way...
What?
You might as well let me ride
to the nearest station.
No turning back now!
Let me have at least
one successful audition.
(chuckles)
(upbeat music)
Yeah!
(bicycle bell rings)
MATSUDO: I wanted to embrace her.
To hug her really tight. But...
I couldn't do that out of the blue.
(train rumbling)
TABATA: Well...
I live around here.
MATSUDO: Oh, right.
We're just friends, okay?
Huh?
Friends...
It's friends forever for us.
-Let's be friends.
-I said we're friends!
-Friends!
-Friends!
-Friends.
-We're just friends, though!
STUDENTS: We're just friends, though!
MATSUDO: No. This time is different.
When I held her hand,
she didn't push me away.
She even seemed to be beckoning me.
No chance?
Are you sure I have no chance?
(upbeat music)
I'd like it...
if you gave me some time.
Sure.
I'll wait.
Okay.
Well then, good night.
TABATA: Good night.
A hand steak... I mean a handshake.
(chuckles)
Bye...
I'll be waiting.
MATSUDO (singing):
♪ On nights when I'm in love ♪
♪ It feels like everything
Will go my way ♪
MATSUDO: Since arriving in Tokyo...
No, for as long as I could remember,
I've never had a night so happy.
(dramatic music)
(Matsudo panting)
(giggling)
What are you thinking?
Tsukamoto?
Tsukamoto?
(chuckles)
-MATSUDO: I said...
-TSUKAMOTO: Oh, welcome home.
MATSUDO: What are you thinking?
Hi.
TSUKAMOTO: We've been waiting.
-MATSUDO: A movie?
-TSUKAMOTO: Yes.
It's not a big production or anything,
but it's not a self-made film...
-It's a commercial.
-A commercial film?
And I can be in it? Me?
Well, it seems that they need people
to play soldiers. Right?
I definitely want to do it!
You'll need to shed some fat
to play a soldier.
Well, I guess makeup can handle it.
Is Mr. Hayashi...
staff or something?
Why would you think I'm staff?
One look should tell you that!
TSUKAMOTO: Hayashi's an actor too.
I've thought about casting him
in one of my films a number of times.
HAYASHI: You'll need a suntan.
You're a Japanese soldier
lost in the jungle!
Tanning, or whatever else it takes.
I'm your man!
EXPENSE REPORT
YAMAMURA: I'm really happy for you.
A soldier role suits you perfectly!
I said so, right?
That he'd make a good soldier.
Well...
you suddenly look rather masculine!
(laughs)
What soldier is this hard up for cash?
We already paid for your suntan
and now transportation, too?
This is a first, you know.
No one's ever asked
for an advance so quickly.
-MATSUDO: Forgive me!
-YAMAMURA: Oh, but I'm proud of you.
You've found a debut
without our help!
He didn't find anything.
Someone found him.
YAMAMURA:
I guess you're right. But who cares.
The important thing
is to grasp hold of that luck
and those fateful connections!
MATSUDO: Sorry. My mother's calling.
Hello? What is it?
Don't give me that!
You promised to tell me your address!
So I can send you rice.
I can buy my own rice.
I'm busy, so I'm hanging up.
Hold on a second, will you?
What do you mean busy?
As an actor?
I have a shoot tomorrow.
A "shoot"?
In that case, you should
try talking to your father again.
MATSUDO'S MOM: Come home for a bit.
Huh? Talk about what?
He doesn't care about what I'm doing.
MATSUDO: He never listens, anyway.
So talk to me, then.
Takeshi's in America.
I can't even phone him.
Your mom's lonely!
Okay, I get it. I'm hanging up now.
Yes, I really am busy. Bye now.
TABATA:
You look pretty cool with that suntan.
(chuckles)
As far as war movies go...
I've only ever seen one, but I love it!
It was called Cross of Iron.
I thought it would be a horror movie.
But it was pretty gory!
Oh, yeah?
I'll watch it for research, then.
MATSUDO: Cross of Iron?
I feel like I've heard of it...
(faint upbeat music playing)
Oh, sorry.
Bye, then. I'll be waiting.
See ya!
Would you mind never doing
that "see ya" thing again?
It's really obnoxious.
MATSUDO:
With high expectations for Tabata's reply,
I left for the set of my acting debut.
(gagging)
Are you okay?
MATSUDO: You... You reek of alcohol.
I, uh... drank a bit too much last night.
I thought being hung over
would help me get in character.
(Hayashi retching)
(panting)
(groaning)
(screaming)
Run!
(explosion)
(motor whirring)
You idiots!
This is the island of Peleliu!
Over that horizon,
are terrifying American soldiers!
CREW: Show me your determination!
Now, run! Flee!
CREW:
Run, you subhumans! Faster! I said run!
Jackasses! Run!
Boom! Ka-blam!
(explosion)
(epic music)
(indistinct shouts)
(explosion)
(indistinct shouts)
(gagging)
(Hayashi panting)
-ACTOR: Right, understood.
-Are you okay?
You're all a bunch of amateurs!
Run like this is the napalm
scene from Apocalypse Now!
CREW: Ride of the Valkyries is playing!
(helicopters whirring)
I've never seen Apocalypse Now.
What's he talking about?
I'm just not into Coppola.
So I've never seen it.
(breathing heavily)
I'll try and find out.
You twit...
Someone who's never seen Apocalypse Now
has no business being an actor!
CREW: Okay, next scene.
MATSUDO: In the next scene,
I was suddenly given lines
for the first time.
CREW:
Don't let me down. Give me a real death!
-HAYASHI: Okay.
-CREW: Okay. Let's do it.
-Okay.
-Rolling!
CAMERAMAN: Okay, rolling!
And...
action!
(camera whirring)
MATSUDO: Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
Let's try that again.
And...
action!
Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: One more time.
Okay. And...
Action!
Hang in there!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
This isn't working.
You've got to say the lines with feeling.
You're just moving your lips.
Feeling...
Instead of "hang in there,"
let's make it "don't die on me."
-Does that work, Mr. Director?
-DIRECTOR: Sure. Let's try it again.
"Don't die... don't die..."
And...
Action!
-MATSUDO: Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Cut!
(Hayashi groans, coughs)
Sorry.
Listen, I told you I'm feeling sick.
Don't shake me so strongly!
Besides,
that's not what I meant by feeling.
Shake him harder.
(Hayashi groaning)
Like this! More!
(coughing)
MATSUDO: For the next ten takes,
I shook Mr. Hayashi.
-Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Nope. Again.
-Don't die on me!
-DIRECTOR: Not yet. Again!
-Don't d...
-DIRECTOR: No! Again!
(yelling)
Don dir oh me!
Don't die!
Don't die!
Don't die on me!
Don't die on me!
(sobbing)
(sobbing continues)
DIRECTOR: Cut! Okay!
(dramatic music)
All right. Onto the next location.
We don't have much time.
(exhales heavily)
(breathing heavily)
HYOGO PREFECTURE
MUKO RIVER
(train hissing)
MATSUDO: A short time later,
I went back to my hometown.
(dramatic music continues)
MATSUDO'S MOM: So guess what...
I finally heard from Takeshi.
He's working part-time
and going to university.
Hey, Heizo!
Won't you join us?
MATSUDO'S MOM: So tell me,
what kind of movie were you in?
It ain't a porno, right?
A war movie. I have lines, too.
What? Ain't that something.
What did you say?
There's a badly wounded soldier,
and I yell, "Don't die on me!"
Really? That's amazing!
MATSUDO: It's not that amazing.
It's just one line.
Hey, you...
did you come all the way back here
to tell us that stupid story?
MATSUDO'S MOM: Come on...
You ain't got to be that way!
He ain't come home for a while!
I know...
Eat something!
You'll stay here tonight, right?
No.
I'm going home.
MATSUDO'S MOM: Your father is just...
It's like his brain has a flat tire!
In his time, he could never dream
of being an actor or anything.
First Takeshi goes to America,
then you with this stuff!
He doesn't know what to do!
I told you I don't like futomaki.
Wait, what?
MATSUDO'S MOM: Where are you...
Satoru?
(somber music)
(groans)
(groaning)
(train rumbling)
YOUNG MATSUDO: Slow down, will you!
YOUNG TAKESHI: Hurry up!
I said slow down!
-YOUNG TAKESHI: Pedal faster!
-YOUNG MATSUDO: Why?
YOUNG TAKESHI: Faster!
-YOUNG MATSUDO: Wait for me, big bro!
-Hurry up!
YOUNG MATSUDO: I said wait!
YOUNG TAKESHI: I'm going ahead!
Big bro, wait!
YOUNG MATSUDO:
Big bro, don't leave me here!
I'm praying that Satoru
becomes the next Robert De Niro.
I'll show you Robert De Niro!
(indistinct shouts)
(dramatic music)
(explosion)
(chattering on movie)
(dramatic music)
(explosions on movie)
(Matsudo sobbing)
(panting)
(somber music)
(distant explosions)
(applause)
MATSUDO: My first ever lines were cut,
but I was there, inside the movie.
Oh, Mr. Hayashi!
Thank you for everything.
I really learned a lot.
I never knew that watching yourself
on the big screen makes you this nervous.
You made the cut. Good for you.
What?
Hayashi didn't make it on screen.
(both sigh)
He seems pretty hurt.
I'd love to have a celebratory drink,
but I'd better go with him.
Matsudo, you looked good on screen.
I'm happy for you.
TSUKAMOTO: Then that's good.
HAYASHI: But I wasn't even there.
TSUKAMOTO: No, it was just...
MATSUDO: Though he wasn't the best
role model, it felt like he'd taught me
something about how tough
an actor's life can be.
I was right all along.
Acting is what I want to do.
Tabata... I'm coming!
I'm sorry!
What?
I have... a boyfriend now.
What?
But...
H-Hold on a second.
W-What are you saying?
MATSUDO: Wait a minute, here!
Just wait! Since when?
Who is it?
-I can't tell you.
-Huh?
Don't tell me...
it's someone I know?
(dramatic music)
Wait! Who is it?
Is it someone who works here?
On the afternoon shift?
Endo? Minami?
Ushiroda, maybe... When did it happen?
I know! Ki... it's Kimura! Isn't it?
Leave me alone!
(gate opens)
(closes)
(ominous music)
(pants)
(indistinct PA announcement)
I know everything.
I know everything.
MATSUDO: Unable to give up,
I searched high and low for the culprit.
I know everything. About Tabata.
-I know everything.
-You know this movie?
It's great, right?
Thank you for waiting.
Here are your items.
CUSTOMER: Thank you very much.
(indistinct PA announcement)
(gasps)
Excuse me... I love your work
in Body and Soul...
Isn't it boring?
No, I love it.
Thank you very much.
You won't believe it!
Akira Emoto was here!
He came to Yoshimira's corner!
You're a fan, right?
What?
I know everything.
Know what?
I know... about Tabata.
How did you find out?
-What?
-What?
-What?
-What?
How did I find out? You mean it's true?
Forgive me!
-You...
-NAKATA: I'm sorry!
You said she wasn't your type!
It's just... our sense of humor clicked.
She laughed at all my jokes,
just cackling at whatever I said.
She'd say, "Nakata, you're so awesome!"
After hearing it over and over again,
she started to look awesome too!
Maybe we're both awesome?
We've got no choice but to date, right?
NAKATA: I'm a man too, you know.
So I just decided to act...
You're getting on my nerves.
NAKATA: Sorry!
(Matsudo breathing angrily)
(grunting)
(woman over PA) Unable to express
their feelings to one another,
the two end up going
their separate ways...
CUSTOMER: Excuse me!
Excuse me...
Welcome!
-These, please.
-Certainly. I'll take care of it.
-Your card, please.
-Here.
Thank you.
-How many days...
-One week, please.
One week.
Here's your card. Excuse me...
-(beeping)
-Okay. Right...
Got it, thank you
(upbeat music)
(sobbing)
CUSTOMER: I'm in a bit of a hurry.
(sobbing)
(panting)
(sobbing continues)
(cheerful music)
(screaming, sobbing)
Not bad.
Those tears don't lie.
Sincerity like this is the answer.
That's what acting's about.
(crying)
Okay. Next!
(Matsudo screams)
Welcome!
What is this, exactly?
Welcome!
What are you trying to show me?
Welco...
-TABATA: You don't mind?
-MAN: Yeah.
Enough already! Go back.
Wow, that's amazing!
They're so hard.
You're awesome!
MATSUDO:
Before long, Nakata was rejected too.
You said I was awesome too!
YAMAMURA: Whoa!
MATSUDO: I may have failed at love
and at my auditions,
but a surprising new job came my way.
YAMAMURA: I can't take much more of this.
-You've really got me worried.
-MATSUDO: Sorry.
-Hi there!
-MAN: You'd better watch your step.
Thank you.
-Okay.
-Right.
(upbeat music)
You...
We're here to protect
the face of the company.
Why did you rent such a small car?
-Sorry!
-Unbelievable...
MAN: Okay, test shot!
-WOMAN: Test!
-MAN: Get ready!
They don't need you!
MAN: Action!
(actor laughing)
What was that for?
DIRECTOR: Cut!
YAMAMURA: Matsudo!
This is Matsudo!
Matsudo, this is Haru.
N-Nice to meet you! I'm Matsudo.
(laughs)
Nice to meet you. I'm Haruka Igawa.
YAMAMURA:
Hey, this is no time to admire her! Move!
The back seat, you moron!
She'll ride in the back.
WOMAN: Sorry, everybody!
MATSUDO: Chauffeur for a veteran actress.
I'm as far as ever from becoming an actor.
All in?
HARUKA: My brother doesn't like it.
-For my brother...
-(rumbling)
Sorry.
-The phone's ringing.
-Excuse me?
It's just my lines.
Oh, right.
HARUKA: Hey, you need to turn there!
Huh? Wh... Oh, there.
(chuckles)
EDITOR: An actress who soothed the world
and made her big break...
Who knows,
maybe the unexpected will happen.
But that's a story for another time.
(radio playing)
MAN (on radio in English):
Bing, bang, boom!
WHT Chicago!
Another beautiful, but of course,
windy day here
in the windy city of Chi-Town.
-And as always, we're here...
-WOMAN: It's not stupid!
I humiliated my family, so I plunge
a friggin' dagger into my stomach?
-SELLER: It's a horror...
-WOMAN: That is stupid!
-Hey, how you doing?
-TAKESHI: Hey.
(man speaking on radio)
You Japanese?
Yeah.
These Godzilla movies are awesome, dude!
(laughs, imitates roaring)
TAKESHI: No, no, no.
It's pronounced as "Go-ji-ra."
Godzilla is fake.
Go-ji-ra.
-TAKESHI: Yeah!
-SELLER: Gojira!
(imitates Godzilla roaring)
(imitates Godzilla roaring)
(dramatic music)
Ms. Haruko has arrived!
MAN: These days, everyone's looking
for something to soothe them.
But then, no one cares
who I really am, do they?
-What?
-(mumbles)
MATSUDO: There's no one
who could replace you, Ms. Haruka.
I can't help but feel a little jealous.
I'll backdrop you myself!
A prisoner role.
MATSUDO: I've dreamed of working
with this director!
ACTING IS AN ENDLESS
SERIES OF BATTLES!
MAN: Don't think you can get by
with expressions like that.
"The rugged Pyrrhus he whose sable arms"
MATSUDO: "Black as his purpose
Did the night resemble."