Lost Girl (2010–2016): Season 4, Episode 6 - Of All the Gin Joints - full transcript

Brava! Brava!

Bravissima!

"Dear, K, I G 2 G.

Go Hans Solo and all that.

I don't know how to do
this, but YOLO, right?

Holla at you soon, Tam-Tam."

Hmmm...
kids they're as cryptic as...

...a witness signature
on a Dark contract?

Tam-Tam's just following her heart.

- And I wonder...
- Now, I have a big hole in mine.

Can you really know
yourself without memory?



- Can you know what you want?
- I just hope she's safe.

- Can you know what you want?
- I just hope she's safe.

- Freedom and a lot of boom-boom.
- God, it is so good to dish.

I don't know what I
would do without you.

Me, too.

- Hey, are you okay?
- Come on...

- You got her?
- Yeah, yeah. Sit down.

Ah-ah-ah!

Toll for being
not-helping douche-balls!

Water, honey.

You...

Whoa, she's Russian.
Sweet!

Uh, a little help here, Kenz.

Uh, "I can't believe I found you.
I found you! I found you!"



She found you is the primary message.

I've never seen her before in my life.

"I came. I came, I came,
I came just like she told me to."

Who? Who told you to come?

You. You did.

Life is hard when you
don't know who you are.

It's harder when you
don't know what you are.

My love carries a death sentence.

I was lost for years,
searching while hiding.

Only to find that I belong
to a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live the life I choose.

4x06 - Of All the Gin Joints

Bo... I told you.
Ianka needs to rest.

Trick, some woman I don't
know and never talked to

said I told her to come see me.
I don't know if I believe her,

or what to believe anymore,
but I need to talk to her.

Pretty please.

She needs to heal.
She's an Alkonost, a very rare and

delicate descendant of bird people.
And running in the cold

may have strained her vocal chords.

Let me guess?
Singing is how she feeds.

The Alkonost's song
evokes powerful memories.

- Wait... What kind of memories?
- Some good, some bad.

Their songs can even take life.

Including their own
if they're not careful.

Just let her rest for now.

Well, when Liza Fae-nelli
wakes up, let me know.

You would have killed at
Studio 54. Just like I killed

the busboy who served
me tonic instead of soda.

What do you want?

Well, I thought I'd come
over and help you move, but

clearly we have something
more pressing to work on.

Your hostessing skills ...
they suck ass, disco queen.

Well, I-I...

I didn't really expect
The Morrigan just to...

show up with...
pizza and beer.

Well, it's not a moving
day party without some

'za, and a little something from
my own personal microbrewery.

Oh, wow. "Dark Belch."

I was going through a redneck phase.

They were delicious, so...
no regrets.

And please, if we're going
to be working together,

call me Evony.

Oh, oh, careful! Careful.

Jeez...
What's in there?

It's, um, my, uh... entire
Star Trek DVD collection. Yeah.

Enterprise, Voyager, Next
Generation. The movies.

My...
con collectible action figures.

Oh, honey...
I obviously came just in time.

- The prodigal wolf returns.
- Rode for two days straight.

Yeah, that's what I said.

- Bo...
- Dyson...

Well, that's not good news.

It's Lauren.

Looks like she has gone with the Dark.

Oh, well, yeah.
You're gonna giggle.

Really, you are, but as
it turns out... so did I.

- What? Why?
- My hand was forced, okay?

By The Wanderer, or Rainer.
Whoever the bastard is.

We can fix this. I promise. I
think I know where we can start.

Yeah... so do I.

Bo... you're Dark.
I'm Light. We can't.

Do you understand?
It's forbidden.

Good.

- Do you like that?
- It's different.

I said...
do you like that?

I'll learn.

Oxidated water is good for vocals.
Or, is it un-oxidated...

Balls of Minotaur!

What's wrong with you two?
Light and Dark can't fraternize!

- Dyson!
- I know. I know.

You both have to be smarter.

The Una Mens are everywhere.

So, close the door on your way out.

No. You get your brains
out of each other's pants,

and get out of my barrel room.

Ianka's awake.
Try not to aggravate her.

- She's very...
- ...delicate. Yes. I know.

Ianka...

Oh! My hero.
I'm so happy I found you!

I did not think it would
happen, but here you are.

And here I am.

Well, I'm glad you're okay, but...

what are you talking about?
I've never met you.

No, but... you came to see
me after I sang for you.

And it touched you so deeply.

When did you sing for me?
Where?

It was at... the...
You made me promise.

What did I make you promise?

That I would come here and find you.

I said,
"no, Bo, I can't, it's impossible."

But, you insisted I escape.
You gave me such inspiration.

I don't understand. I'm sorry,
I just don't know what to say.

Just listen.

What the hell...

It was a good memory?

It was, um... vague.

And weird. But it was
a clue, a real clue.

Please, Ianka, sing more.

No. We shook on it.
I sing for you

and you get me what
I want most in the world.

- Which is?
- Freedom.

Ianka, you can't hold my
memories hostage.

No, I do not have your memories.
Only you have your memories!

I only have the key to unlock them.

You should probably give me this key.

Oh...
People talk about the Succubus,

and they say you are different, but you

are just like the others.
You promise me my wings

and then you pluck my feathers
so you can hear me sing.

I'm sorry. Lately, I've
just been feeling so lost.

Wait... What others?

I sing for a wealthy and powerful Buraq.

Him, and only him. But I
am starving. I cannot feed.

If only I could sing for an audience.

If only I could sing my Famous Aria.

Guess I'm more of a Black
Eyed Peas kind of girl.

"Ni Regrette Du Pass?
Ni Perdu De L'Avenir."

Hm? It means,

"Neither regret the past
nor fear the future."

Well, it's beautiful.

But, it doesn't mean anything to me.

You, you said...
you would not remember.

Please, uh, look in your knife.
The handle...

"Ianka, you will sing for me,
and I will bring you freedom."

That's my handwriting.

Ianka!

Oh, no.
Please, Bo, help me. It's him.

Who him?

Ianka! Ianka!

Who is the owner of this establishment?!

Where is my Ianka?
The poor thing!

Hey! She's not a thing, pal.
And nobody owns her.

That is not true.
The beautiful Ianka has

been in my family for centuries.

Yeah, well, four score and
a bunch of years ago, Lincoln

threw down and slavery went the
way of the Dodo. So, let her go.

Surely, you jest.
Bring her to me. Now.

Sorry.
Ianka left ten minutes ago.

No, she didn't. She's here.

You put a GPS on her?

What is she?
A dog with a chip in her ear?

Don't be ridiculous.
The device is in her necklace.

Then I'll rip it off her.

Try it. And you'll only
tighten it around her throat.

All she wants is to
sing the Famous Aria.

And all I ask
is that you allow it.

The Famous Aria...
wasted on the masses.

Now, you're just insulting me.

People speak of your generosity.
Your benevolence.

Well, I am both.

Well, when the public finds
out that you deprived them

of a performance by Ianka,
they'll see who you truly are.

Wait now... I simply
hadn't made up my mind.

Hmm... I will allow it. But,
I need a private room, a bottle

of Scapa 25 single malt,

and a place to sit
that's not so... sticky.

I can do less sticky.

The personal and
professional journals

of Charles Mayo, Albert Einstein,
and Marie Curie? How?

Marie turned out to be a real
axe wound, so I stole her diary

as a joke. Mayo's I dug up
from under Jimmy Hoffa and

Einstein's? Picked that
up at a garage sale.

- You go to garage sales?
- Mm-hmm.

You wouldn't believe the
shit that humans will sell

for a few sawbucks. My Van
Gogh, my Stradivarius, two

Faberge eggs. Gustav Faberge
would lose his shit if he knew.

They were Fae? Are all
these journals from the Fae?

There's hundreds more in the archives.

Oh...
"July 30, 1830...

Patient O'Connor, who was
previously and successfully

injected with tuberculosis bacilli

took a turn last night and died."

This doctor was experimenting on humans.

That's typical Dark Fae callousness.

Oh, the hubris of your kind.
That doctor was not Fae.

Oh, wll... although, I am very
proud of my profession, I haven't

always agreed with the
methods of my forefathers.

Why not?

Anticoagulants, flu vaccines,
basic anatomy.

You know, medicine
and treatment meant for

humans is best researched on humans.

Wow.

Wow. I mean, could your
theories be any more outdated?

We actually use computers
now to navigate diseases

and help find cures. We can
grow organs, tissue samples...

Oh, oh, compromise.

We can clone somebody
and experiment on them.

No. It's disgusting. I won't
do it and you can't make me.

Lauren, calm down.
Have a drink.

Look, you don't have to

do anything that you don't want to.

But, I want you to feel free.

Oh, okay, and morals?
Ethics?

Overrated.
But, if they're important to you,

I can respect that.

If I agree to work with the Dark Fae,

it will have to be on my own terms.

Fine. Right.
Scouts honour.

Kenzie, you need to get out of here.

An Alkonost's song can hurt humans.

After nearly four years
of your nerve-shredding

fiddle-dee-pluck-me-holy-cloveers
-shoot-me-in-face music...

I think I can handle it.

Kenzie... you really should go

I'm not going anywhere.

I am so sorry,
but I am your biggest fan.

Oh!!! Ah! Ah! Oh, my God!
How are you?

- How are you?
- I'm good!

What are you doing here?

So, she's famous and
beautiful and Russian.

She's also obnoxious
and vain and stuck up...

And did you know that "singer" in

Russian actually means "whore?"
Except it doesn't...

Are you listening to me?

She is the key, Kenz. To my
memories, to finding Rainer,

and who knows what else.

A train... I'm on a train.

I can almost see his face...

So sorry for the interruption, folks,

but this prized songstress
of yours is wired to blow.

If you don't do exactly as I say,

the little bird goes kaboom.

Looks like it's our turn
to take centre stage.

Somebody just crossed the wrong diva.

If anyone here has a death wish,

by all means try and stop me.

It's Ianka's necklace, the crystals.

One music fan puts a GPS
in it and the other...

Programs it to explode.
Correct.

Who are you and what do you want?

He is Marcus, a Camazotz
Mayan Bat Warrior.

And he's come for Ianka.
Just like you did all those years ago.

- And I got her, didn't I?
- Uh huh... And I stole her back.

Do you wish to start another war?!

It is you who wishes to fight.
In all Camazotz,

Ianka evokes memories
of battles waged and won.

It bolsters their armies.

And I say yes to your provocation.

One word to my fellow Baraqians,
and we shall rain fire on you!

No!

Unrest of any kind will
bring unwanted attention

from the Una Mens.

- The Famous Aria has weakened her.
- This is too much.

Moving an Alkonost when she
is weak is a death sentence.

You want Ianka alive?
You need to let her rest, Marcus.

This will help her regain her strength.

Yeah, and give us a chance
to look at those crystals.

They're not crystals.
They're Atlantean Quartz.

Once thought to ignite
volcanic eruptions.

Oh. When Marcus said
kaboom, he really meant it.

So, how do we stop this?

The Quartz needs to be frozen.

But only liquid volcanic
argon will do the trick.

No biggie, I'll send
Kenzi to the tunnels.

- To where?
- The liquid volcanic argon store.

- Okay, do it again!
- Okay, okay, okay!

Doctor's log, stardate 4365.3,
sitting on couch with Evony,

AKA The Morrigan, who
seems suspiciously human.

Why?
Because I have feelings?

Oh, I don't know.
Empathy and compassion are two

words I would not usually
associate with you.

My God, I think I'm tipsy.
I've had one beer.

Twenty-five percent alcohol?!
Are you kidding me??

Ahem.

Hi! Alternate reality Lauren.

I'd like to talk to the real Lauren,

so please go get her.
Thank you.

Belch?

Well, you're getting your colour back.

Oh, it's so good to see
a face from the past.

Your face.

Remember the pranks we used to
play in the amphitheatre after

dark? In the, ... near the...

how did you call it?
Space rock?

- Sonic meteorite. Yeah.
- Hmm.

I would dial the tone...
beep, boop, bap!

Remember what you would ask?

Ah, yes.
Is your refrigerator on?

And they say yes, and I say,
"then you better go and catch it."

You mess the joke up every time.

Oh, you make fun.
But... you make me smile.

Oh... thank you. For the visit.

- But, I must lie down.
- Of course.

Okay, explain this to me again.

You and Bo need liquid argon

to add to the barrels
of your homemade merlot

in order to avoid oxidation?

Yup!
Yeah, nothing to worry about.

It's just our new thing.
You know, a good old home hooch.

Looks like you got something new, too.

You guys, like, moving in together?

No, we're just talking,
and since this place belongs

to the Light, Evony helped me find
a great new loft in the city.

Evony. Hm.
Wow. Weird.

This doesn't smell like Kool Aid.

- How's Bo?
- Good.

You know, uh, black smoke and gargoyles

crystal clear Atlantean
Quartz, the usual.

But, she, uh...
she misses you. We all do.

Wait...
did you say clear Atlantean Quartz?

- Stay back.
- You don't really want to harm Ianka.

- Do you?
- I want what I want.

Well, maybe if you tell us what
that is, we can help you out.

I can't say, but achieving it means
blowing up Bamber's prize bird...

Then yes, I will harm her.

'Ya know, it's a weak man who keeps
a bar full of innocent hostages.

- You leave.
- Not on your life.

And especially not on hers.

Now.

Little men and their little toys.

I'll be upstairs. I won't
let anything happen to you.

Mission accomplished?

Bamber's transmitter, as promised.

- Will it work?
- Like a charm.

You are now looking at a receiver,

compliments of my days with the SIS.

Please, you must...

I can't.
And you will be...

- Bamber will come after...
- ...speak his name.

Someone's listening to us.

- It's over.
- Don't say that!

- I'm sorry, Ianka.
- Please, Marcus, no!

The detonator.
He pressed it.

Everybody get down!

Bo, what's happenning?
What did I miss?

- Oh, and I have to tell you something.
- The Quartz didn't detonate.

Of course not.
There's no fire in it anymore.

It's dead, done, a fake.

You know, like the Mayan apocalypse.

God, what a rip that was.
Come on...

Oh, okay.
The transparency of the

necklace proves it's involatility.

- Now you're telling me?
- Channeling Dr. Lauren.

Oh, yeah, right. How is she?

Good! Good, yeah, you
know, in a general, uh...

alone sense.
BTdubs, have you seen Hale?

Hale?
Yeah.

He's...
you know, around. Probably.

I think I'm going to go find him.

Okay.

Ianka's gone. Her and Marcus.

- He took her right from under our noses.
- But why now?

And what were they doing
behind that curtain?

Looks like Tweety and
Sylvester have flown the coop.

So, tell me, was she in on this?

I don't know.

Look, she has the answers
that I need, so somebody

better start talking, and lucky
boy, that's going to be you.

When my family stole
Ianka back from Marcus...

my songstress was not the same.

There was a new light in her.

And a new distance between us.

Ianka was never afraid
of Marcus. Not once.

Are they partners?

Marcus is a radical,
bent on hatred for all

Baraqians.
That is all I know.

Now leave.

Bo! Over here.

Check it out...

This is where Trick used to hide his

rare Omni transmitter. With it,

Marcus could broadcast
anything, from anywhere.

You fix cars, too?

Who do you think's been
changing your spark plugs?

I love this side of you.
Love...

- Love.
- What?

Dyson, they're in love!

That's what Bamber was trying to say.

Marcus and Ianka are in love.

But, what's that got to
do with the transmitter?

You think the Bambers would
ever let them be together?

- But, if there were no Bambers...
- Ianka can sing death notes.

She and Marcus... they're
going to kill them all.

But where?

I overheard Hale mention some kind

of sonic stonework on Bamber's estate.

- Come on, let's go.
- There's dozens of Baraqians.

We have to warn them all in person.

Go get 'em, Wolfy.

Bo!
Hale is gone! Missing.

Oh... what?

These bird women, they could
hurt Fae with their voices.

Hurt how?
Bad hurt? Dead hurt?

- I'm coming with.
- No. It's too dangerous.

This is not a discussion!

Hale's gone and I haven't
even told him that I...

I know.
Come on, let's go kick some serious ass.

Ianka, stop!

The Baraqians has been warned of
your death note as we speak.

Yeah! What she said!

Death note?
No. I am singing no such thing.

Marcus and I only want to be together.

And the transmitter?

To tell his family about our love.
Right, my darling?

Ianka...
some things are bigger than love.

No... you want me to...

- I will not kill the Bambers.
- I'm not asking.

Ah!
Please, Marcus, stop!

Bo, Bo, help...

No, not like that!

- Bo, let me finish him.
- I hear anything other

than the death note,
this gun mows you all down.

Everybody get out of here!
Marcus and I need to talk.

Kenz, leave!

I'm not leaving!
I came here to rescue you!

Guys, go!

What is this?
Soul Train?

Marcus, please stop all this.

This isn't you.
This anger, this ugly hate...

- Sing the death note.
- You love me.

Just sing already, you bitch.

Stop!

No...

Oh, Mother of Metallica, this hurts!

Hale, get the woman
you love out of here.

Please!

No, please!

Oh, Ianka...

Ianka... please...

Ianka, Ianka, you did it.

Marcus, he's...
he's gone.

Look, I will take care of Bamber.

You will be free, I promise.
Come on, can you walk?

Ugh! No, you do...

you do not understand.

I took life in a weakened state.

- I am... no more.
- You're going to...

Oh, Ianka, please tell me
you didn't sacrifice yourself.

Someone would have
always tried to own me.

It is the fate of my people.

Most do not mind, but I do.

I was the only one who could stop it.

I'm gonna call Trick.
There's gotta be

something that we can do,
some kind of potion, or...

In captivity, I heard stories
about the unaligned Succubus...

You are what made me
believe I could be free.

But I'm not unaligned anymore.

Your heart is what you want it to be.

Right now, my heart is free.

For you...
as you wished.

Oh, no... Ianka, no.

Ugh...
Holy high-pitched hangover.

Whoa, whoa, not so fast.
There you are.

Ugh. Oh...
What happened? Where's Bo?

She'll be fine. Ianka sung
a death note. Marcus is dead.

Oh.
Good for her.

It would have killed her, too.

Oh, Hale... I'm so sorry.

- She's finally free.
- Yeah.

And you...
you're finally here.

I've... always been here.

Now truth, Ianka's death
note, did it hurt you?

No.

Hey, you lie
to the Russian stink eye,

and bad things
will happen to your junk.

Which would now be
a particular bummer for me.

This Russian stink eye...
it's pretty intense.

You'll get used to it.

Oh, no... no, please...
I can't do this.

Bo?

Don't tell me you don't wear
a mask to protect yourself

Hm. Yours is especially...
chilling.

The higher you climb,
the more you realize that

you're surrounded by
sycophants and assassins.

You're so dramatic.

No, I am realistic in
a dramatic world, honey.

You'll see.

You'll get your share of
sycophants and assassins too.

Oh yeah?
Which one are you?

For now?
You can call me a friend.

This is the key to the dark science
medical and testing facilities.

- It's yours. Full access.
- I won't sign anything.

I'm not asking.

You are a brilliant woman.
Own it girlfriend.

- I'll never trust you.
- I wouldn't respect you if you did.

But do remember,
I let you see me eat pizza.

Made I just let you think
I'd let any schmo do that?

Here are the keys to your new condo.

Call me if you need anything else.

This was ah...
what do they call it?

Fun. Right?

Evony.

Pizza's our secret.

I think this might be the
beginning of a beautiful...

something.

- Still don't trust you.
- You don't have to, Dr. Lewis.

You are Team Dark now.

I can taste it.

Ta, darling.

To... the beginning.

Bo... look at me.

Bo... please, look at me.

Don't tell me what to do!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm just uh...

Angry. It's okay.

No one owns you.

You're not going to be like Ianka.

No. I'll become like Marcus.

Bitter, choking on my bottomless rage,

thinking of nothing but revenge.

Ianka died to be free, Dyson.

- For just a few moments.
- And you inspired her to do that.

No, not me. Another Bo.

One that I don't even know.

Whoever that Bo was, she didn't
spend a month asleep in limbo.

She was on a train, hatching a plan.

Sending herself clues in the future.

She...

I... joined the dark.

Willingly.

Then I'm sure you had good reason.

Besides, dark... light...
these are just labels.

They do not define us.

Looks like I'm not the
only one who's changed.

You're hurt.

I don't know.
But I am hurting.

- He marked me.
- Who?

The Wanderer. Rainer.

He might be my father.

- What the hell is this?!
- Mole patrol?

The codex of laws has
been infringed upon.

Your rules don't apply to me.

Not you. Him.

Dyson, no!