Lost Girl (2010–2016): Season 2, Episode 17 - The Girl Who Fae'd with Fire - full transcript

A mysterious death leads Bo into the world of Fae politics as she struggles to uncover the murderer before a civil war ensues. Kenzi agrees to help Hale with a family matter but it causes problems with her new boyfriend.

Kenzi?

Huh, bonus.

More piles
of pecans for me.



You wanna be
the champion, baby,

you gotta be ready
for anything!

Kenzi, you just
killed my ice cream!

Collateral damage.

Killer kitty!

Ah! Ah!

Uh! Uh! Uh!



The Garuda could strike
anywhere, anytime.

Reverse cowgirl.

Rah!

Ah!
Uh! Uh!

Uh! Ah!
Hurah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa--

Just...tacos,
don't kill me.

Oh, hey, baby, did you
bring extra hot sauce?

Ugh!

What...was that?

Blade aerobics.
--Sword-lates.

You are the strangest
girls I've ever met.

Making with
the sweet talk.

What can I say, we like
to get our freak on.



Yeah.

Right.

I can't tell you how much
I appreciate her seeing me.

Save it for the Don.

Your family's been
loyal to Clan Bukharin.

Seven generations now.

I just have a little
business problem.

Some new investors,
very unsavory fellows.

Again, I'm just
the consigliere.

Marisol Carmody,
in her prime.

I can see why they
call her the iron fist.

Don't crack jokes.

Oh, I didn't mean--

And don't forget
to curtsy.

You have ten minutes, Nigel,
the Don's a real stickler

for protocol and a real
hothead when crossed.

What was that?



Miss Carmody!



Life is hard when you
don't know who you are.

It's harder when you
don't know what you are.

My love carries
a death sentence.

I was lost for years,
searching while hiding.

Only to find that I belong to
a world hidden from humans.

I won't hide anymore.

I will live
the life I choose.

So, uh, was
Miss Carmody a smoker?

Not for
two centuries.

Hm--

We don't often
have a member

of Clan Zamora
under our roof.

I'm just here
to do my job.

With a little help.

You're late.

This is your
commanding officer?

Hardly.

Yes.

And not affiliated
with any particular clan.

Thank goodness.

Let me know
if you need anything.

I will.

And thank you.

What was that?

An attempt to let you
off the case gracefully.

Your father called.

He called you?

He says you being here
is bad for appearances.

Yeah, well, whatever,
he doesn't run my life.

We're cool, right?



Yeah, we're cool.
We're peachy.

So, the old lady
just went kablooie?

Can we focus?

I'm sorry, it's just
so deliciously gross.

Okay, continue
with your bro-bitchin'.

I hate what
Dyson's become.

Totally unreliable and
he doesn't give a damn.

I'm sorry you guys
are having boy fight.

I could use a friend.

Aw, hon.

A girlfriend.

Hear me out, the once
a century summit

of the original
noble Fae families

is coming up
and I need a date.

Hale, I have
a boyfriend now.

I show up with you,
it'll really get my family

off my back about
my personal life, Kenzi.

Boyfriend, me, have.

If I may--

I have taken the liberty
of writing out all the times

that I have
bailed you out.

Seriously?

One, erased all
your parking tickets

from the police
database.

Two, rescued you
from that Minotaur.

He was only
a little drunk.

Three, nodded knowingly
when you told Bo

her shoes were stolen
by cobbler elves.

Those mules were way
too small for her.

Four--

Fine.

Yes!

Fine, I'll pose
as your honey.

Temporarily.
No smooching,

no groping, and no magical
Fae impregnations.

I'll uh, try
and contain myself.

Here--

What's this?

It's a present.

Oh!

Ah ha...

It's my Nona's old
Inverell gown and fascinator.

You're kidding?

It's just like
Nona used to wear.

What time is
this summit thingy?

Tomorrow.

But first you're
meeting my family.

This is Marisol Carmody.

Don of the Bukharin Clan.

Last night she was--

Exploded.

Yeah, I heard.

So, are Dyson
and Hale on it?

Hale has removed
himself from the case

and with good reason.

His father's head
of the Zamora Clan.

How many clans
are there again?

Well--

When it comes
to Fae nobility

there are only three
clans that matter.

The Zamora,
Bukharin and Fin Arvin.

All uber rich
and very powerful

and would kill each
other in a heartbeat

in order to gain more
power and more money.

Like the mob,
but with mermaids.

Yeah.

So, why would someone
want Marisol murdered?

You mean why now.

This weekend,
the Inverell is happening.

And it is critical
that nothing disturbs

the precarious peace between
these three families.

Like say the Garuda.

Yes, I want you
to partner with Dyson

and find out
who did this.

Also I think it would be a
good opportunity for you

to let the families
know what's coming.

You earn their support
and we can tap into

their significant
resources.

Right, tip the scales in our
favour when we go into battle.

Exactly.

But remember one thing,
Bo, these people

are conservative,
prejudiced snobs.

They don't take too
kindly to riff-raff.



Hey, hey,
you okay?

Uh, yeah.

Okay, wait, wait--
It's just look,

my family's a little
old school so...

Okay, well relax.

I got this,
it's me remember.

Val, Father--

This is Kenzi,
my girlfriend.

Hello, Sturgess,
it's very nice to meet you.

Too early
to call you dad?

Human!
Oohhh!

Son--

You're dating...this?

Kenzi,
her name's Kenzi.

So, Val, is that, um,
short for Valerie?

Or cause you're
a Valkyrie?

I'm a Pombero, I can
steal voices and seriously--

Hale, a human
in our house.

Shut it, Val.

You shut it.

Children,
that's enough.

Sweetie, give your
brother back his voice.

Harpie.

Human hugger.

Really, Hale, it's one thing
to work along side them.

I'm right here.

I can hear you.
So...

Mom would understand.

Well, we know you
take after your mother,

my only son,
a siren.

Best damn siren in
the whole biz this one.

As Santiagos of Clan Zamora,
we're all for charity,

but there's a limit.

And that limit is cheap,
ill-bred mortals.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

So, what made
our vic go boom?

A bomb?

Take a look.

So, what's your plan?

I say we pull
the suspects in,

get old school.
Force a confession.

Or we could
examine the evidence.

Like, for example
this photograph.

This is the
three clans, right?

Yes, from
the last Inverell.

Well, it's burned
around the edges.

A message
from the killer?

Seems like our suspects
are also potential targets.

So, we bring in the heads
of the other families.

Interview them.

But I must warn you,
they are a prickly bunch.

It will be the first time the
Inverell has been held here

at our estate under the
clan Zamora banner

in three hundred years.

Hi!

Kenzi--

Yes, that's me,
Hale's monogamous lover.

Mr. Santiago,
it's an honour.

Dyson, my boy, I didn't think
you were gonna make it.

Neither did I--

Who's your friend?

Everyone, this is Bo.

The unaligned
succubus...

The rumours don't do
your beauty justice.

Mr. Santiago,
unfortunately

we're here on business,
not pleasure.

And boy do we
have questions.

Of course,
the Marisol murder.

Dreadful affair.

There's no reason
we couldn't do this

over some rare vintages.

Shall we adjourn
to the wine cellar?

Any thoughts on who
might want Marisol dead?

Oh, I'm quite
sure who did it.

Dabner, the head
of the Fin Arvin Clan.

Paranoid,
nearly insane.

And you can't trust
those Fin Arvin fools,

they're as
shiftless as mortals.

What are you doing?

You're speedy.

Not the Chateau
Isoir, dear.

Perhaps you'd
prefer a wine cooler?



We should talk
to this Dabner, now.

Agreed.

Not before cake.

Don't you want
dessert, Dyson?

First we divided
equally to pay homage

to the original families.

I am nothing
if not sentimental.

Wash the silverware the
human uses at least twice.

Val!

Better just
pitch it.

You know what?
That's it--

That's it, Fae you.

You know if I wanted
to be insulted like this,

I would have spent time
with my own family!



Kenz!



Kenzi, wait!
Hey, Kenzi, wait.

Yes, our friendship works
because we are so

the best dressed out of the
group and because we enjoy

taking the piss
out of one another,

but I have never used you
like you just used me.

Hey, hey--
Look, I'm sorry.

Okay, they're rude, they're
bigots and they're wrong.

I get it.

Well, get this, next time
you wanna play bad son,

leave me out of it.

Thank you
for your time.

And here I'd heard
you were difficult.

Dyson's clearly
been a good influence.

So has Kenzi.

See, she's taught me
how to tolerate people

that I can't stand.

You're snobs, you're
bigots and you're family--

Bo-

....family home is lovely.

And Dyson,
come back anytime

you feel like
something sweet.

So much for impressing
our social betters.

Well, I still have
two families to charm.

Besides,
that was worth it.

You have got to stop
sneaking in like this.

Or what?

Find out my girlfriend stood
me up for another dude?

If it makes you
feel any better,

it was like the
worst date of all time.

Baby, I'm kidding--
I'm kidding!

So, it was a date and what,
it was awesome? Yay?

You and I, we were
supposed to jam

and instead I see you
leave with Hale.

Baby, he's just
my friend--

Okay...it was a thing.

I can't keep up
with your secrets, Kenz.

What do you mean?

Well, first Bo
and now Hale.

Everything, I mean, I really,
really wanna trust you.

But you're
always so...

Sneaky.

Okay,
it's adorable, but--

No, you're right,
you're right.

And it is killing me.

I want to tell
you the truth.



Dabner, I presume.

More often referred
to as Lord Dabner.

Ninth premier
of the Clan Fin Arvin,

but who cares about
hard earned titles

in these
troubled times.

And what brings you
to us today, Lord Dabner?

It came into my house,
my very boudoir.

I awoke to find it
standing above me.

A flame!

Like on fire?

Ah, beauty and brains.

So often strangers.

I will have you know that I
barely escaped with my life.

I am Fin Arvin.
I am not to be silenced.

Ohh...
Ugh--

Your hand, it's burnt.
Did the creature touch you?

I didn't notice,
it all happened so fast.

Whatever did this,
just sent more than a message.

You okay?

Yeah,
a bit congested.

When a Cherufe
touches you, it sets off

a chain reaction and you
spontaneously combust.

Gruesome trick, wait,
what's a Cherufe?

A Cherufe
is an Under-Fae,

of magma,
immensely powerful.

It can cover swaths
of lands in lava.

And disguise
themselves as rock.

Why would a Cherufe
waste its talents

tormenting these individuals
when it could wipe out

an entire village?

Well, there must be
some reason

because these attacks
are pretty specific.

And there's
only one Don left.

Hale's dad.

I mean he's a total
jerk-off, but capable

of hiring an assassin to take
out the other clan leaders?

It looks like we're heading
back to the Santiago estate.



Is that my
piles-o-pecans?

I told Nate
the truth about us.

Oh-- Kenzi.

Except!
I totally lied!

Oh, Kenzi--

I don't know, it just
came pouring out of me,

that you and I
were spies.

That we were in the
witness protection program.

That we were this close to
getting our own cooking show.

Oh, that one, that's when
he knew you were lying.

Yeah.

And I know
why's he's mad.

Because I'm pretending to
be Hale's piece on the side.

Well, then you tell Hale that
you can't do it anymore.

I mean, if he knew that
this was affecting

your real relationship.

He won't want to take me
to the Inverell anyway,

considering his
family hated me.

Oh, they sucked.

They so sucked.

I'm gonna head to the Dal,
give him the news.

But, honey, I don't think
that your problems with Nate

are just a Fae thing, it is
hard to be in a relationship

when you can't
be completely honest.

You rang?

Yeah, hey, yeah,
thanks for coming.

This case
is a doozy.

Hey, Bo.

Hey...Nadia.

I, uh,
brought those, um...

Later--

...medical textbooks
you wanted.

Great, thanks.

Uh, where's
your bathroom?

It's upstairs--

Sorry,
I had to bring her.

Okay...?

She just hasn't wanted
to leave my side,

which is understandable.

Considering the coma and
waking up after five years.

Yeah sure,
it's fine.

The Ash's library has volumes
dedicated to the Cherufe.

And even among the Fae
they're admired for being so--

I dunno...

Badass.

Precisely.

It was a Cherufe
that was responsible

for the volcanic eruption
of Mount Vesuvius.

The city of Pompeii
was buried in minutes,

exterminating entire
generations of humans and Fae.

Fae have another
word for Pompeii--

They call it the
rape of Scafati.

Wait, I've seen
that word before.



See, there--
On Marisol's desk. Scafati.

But why would
Marisol Carmody have it?

You get the impression
there's something

the Don's
aren't' saying?



You find
anything good?



You've got quite the..
weapons collection.

Well, everyone's
got their hobbies.

As if you weren't
intimidating enough already.



Bo, I'm so sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.

I just--

I just wanted to check
out the competition.

Look, Nadia, I'm not
your competition,

you really have
nothing to worry about.

So, you won't
tell Lauren?

Well--

It's not like
I've never peeked

inside someone's
medicine cabinet right?

Yeah, thanks.



Hale, four o'clock--

Oh, there she is,
my main squeeze.

Hey, Trick.

Here ya go.

Were we in the
same room yesterday?

That was crazytown.

That was Thursday, the estate
is always kind of intense.

Nate doesn't get why
I'm doing this, Hale.

Well,
then I will tell him.

You are doing me the
biggest favour of my life.

Besides, if you bail,
our fake relationship

will be one more thing
my father thinks I failed at.

Yeah, well, if you
wanted to impress

papa Sturgess so mucho,
why didn't you just ask Bo.

My family is nuts, but
I am the Santiago heir,

someday I might be head
of the Zamora clan.

And you need a tiny human
queen to claim your throne?

I need
to set an example.

If we don't modernize,
we'll become irrelevant.

Look, the Fae can co-exist
with the humans

peacefully as equals,
and moreover we should.

No fair with the "we're
all on one team speech,"

you know "The Mighty Ducks"
is my fav.

Oh, well, I would
have never guessed

when you made me
watch it...nine times.

One more night.

Yes, one more you don't
even have to be sober night.

Oh--
That's great--

Ha!



How'd you get
in here?

I doubled security.

Well, double it again.

The Cherufe is after you.

That is unless you hired it
to kill the other two Dons.

If you wanted
to borrow a bottle,

you could have
just asked.

The one that Kenzi
was looking at?

I noticed it was the only
bottle on the shelf

that didn't have
any dust on it.

I believe it was
the Château Isoir.

Is that French
for family secrets?



I bet you a wine cooler
that this scroll

will tell me
about Mr. Scafati.

May I?

The Scafati wasn't a person,
they were a family.

A fourth clan...

You sliced the cake
into four equal parts

to pay homage
to the families.

Our superstitions
will always betray us.

The Scafati Clan was more
powerful than the Zamora,

Fin Arvin and Bukharin
kinfolk combined.

So, together we conspired
to destroy them.

By using the Cherufe who
lived below Mount Vesuvius.

In return we promised him
the first girl born

to each family,
every hundred years.

Well, let me guess,

you welched on
your daughter deliveries.

We tricked
the creature instead

and buried him
under the mountain.

Not deep enough.

I understand his need
for revenge,

but not why he's
coming after us now,

it's been two
thousand years.

I've got an inkling.

You ever hear
of the Garuda?

Sturgess, you have got
to stop the Inverell.

And let the clans say
I cancelled out of fear?

I'd rather burn.

Ugh! Ugh!

Sturgess,
open this door!

Oh, dammit--



Sorry, Nona--



Emmett Northcote--

ring-ring!

Of Family Northcote,
Clan Fin Arvin.

Tamsin Borgia--

ring-ring!

Of Family Akif,
Clan Bukharin.

Where are you,
Kenzi...?

Kenzi--

ring-ring!

Hale's bitchin' girlfriend
of family "what up'?

Clan, "hey now..."



Come along, Miss!

I had to do it my way.

I didn't want to look
like a before picture.

You look gorgeous.
Really.

Really?
Not too...goomba?

It's perfect.

Okay.



Word of the Don's
deaths have positively

blazed through
the crowd.

They can all burn
as far as I'm concerned.

Pompous fools, muttering and
posturing amongst themselves.

You should get out of here, Val,
Something bad is coming.

I'd rather dance.

You're my best
friend's baby sister.

I'm nobody's baby anymore
and I know you've noticed.

I've noticed
something too.

You're...different.

I am, so don't think
you know me.

You don't give a rat's ass
about anything, do you, Dyson?

Liberating, isn't it?
Not having to care.

I was eavesdropping
on Sturges

and your little succubus friend
in the wine cellar earlier..

Bo is downstairs?

Turns out daddy
dearest's not exactly

the standup guy--

I huh....

Hey--

Don't go all gallant
on me now.

That's not
what I'm after.

I plan to drown my
sorrows in something...

wrong.

Why else
would I chose you?

I'm working.

If you want to feel
something for a change...

come find me.



Nate?

Ow, ow, ow!

You're crushing
my fingering hand.

What?

Guitar.

How did you get in?

I got in
with the caterers.

Well, what are
you doing here?

I'm finding the balls
to get my girl back.

Uh...

Okay, wait here.

Yup, there it is,
heard another "Mercy".

That was number four.

Yup and the lady in the red
sequins gave us a "crikey"!

See, we're uniting
Fae from many lands

in their utter disapproval
of our love.

I'm still smarting
from that guy's "hurumph".

You know,
if words were bullets.

You're fun.

Thanks.

That's kind of why I asked
you to this clusterFae.

Oh, yeah, what happened
to "I am chosen one,

must date human,
drag Fae into new century?"

Ha ha, and yeah
that's important, but this

is the next best thing to
having an actual girlfriend.

The unaligned succubus,
family unknown, clan...

Zip it! Now.

Hey, Bo Bo!

What the hey hey?

Yeah, no invitation,
underdressed,

do not tell your dad!

There's someone else
who shouldn't be here,

he's waiting for you
in the billiard room.

Oh--
Okay.



Dude!

Dude.

Dude.

And that's my cue.

Can we please say
something other than dude?

Well, I said a bunch of stuff
the last time I saw you

and you freaked.

In my defense I asked you
for the truth

and you told me that
you were Batman, so...

Well, fine, I fibbed,
great catch.

And that's just it,
you are a great catch...

the best.

Leaving more slowly.

And you look so,
so amazing.

And the most
pathetic part is,

is I am so crazy about you
that it practically

wouldn't matter if you were
dating a cop on the side.

Nate, I am just pretending
to be Hale's faux-bo

to get his parents
off his back.

Oh...

Well, that's cool,
yeah--

Yeah?

Are we cool?

I hope so.

There are still some things
that...aren't mine to tell.

I don't care what the
deal is between you and Bo

because I know
who you really are.

Yeah...

I'm yours.



Look, I can't
do this right now,

I have to go make a good
impression and my Spanx

are riding up and the man
I love is playing stalker--



You love me?

Busted.



That's good enough for me.
Now go be good for Hale.



Bitch.



Hey, have you
seen Dyson,

I need his help
finding the Cherufe.

Whoa, whoa--

It's coming here,
to my house?

Yes, we think so, if you see
Dyson send him my way, okay?

I hope you're not
planning anything stupid.

You mean like
saving your sorry ass?



Are you okay?

Where'd it go?

What happened
to your voice?!

Okay,
stay here, okay?



Wait, wait!

We should go upstairs,
we shouldn't do this.

Is that what
you really want?



VAL!!!

Hale, just relax--

Don't make this
a thing, man--

A thing?

We're both consenting adults,
this doesn't concern you.

Like hell it doesn't,
she's my sister!

And you are supposed
to be my best friend!

What is wrong
with you?



It's time
to cool things off.

Really? There's
no Fae fire code.

I always stuck
by your side, man

and this is how
you repay me?

I may not be able to love,
Hale, but I can still live.

Hale!

What are you gonna do, huh?
You gonna hit me?

Then do it.

DO IT!



You're not worth it.

Come on--



Kenzi,
reverse cowgirl!

Ugh!

Asian fusion's
so hot these days.

It is bad enough that you
made a deal with the devil

and then reneged,
but the reason the Cherufe

felt bold enough
to seek vengeance now

is because there is
something much worse

slouching towards us--

The Garuda.

You are all
at each other's throats,

even more than usual
and the evil that is coming,

it is feeding off
your collective rage.

This is ridiculous,
you don't understand!

No, this is
our shot dad--

To stop
the petty grievances

with each other
and unite the clans.

To fight
the real threat.

It's another
Clan Bukharin trick!

You would say that,
Fin Arvin scum!

They'll never change.

It's over.

No--

Changing my mind--

Now, it's over.

Give it back, Val.

Lava dude's in here!

I'm sorry that was
a long hold over.

Come on, let's go.



One minute, Hale,
my son, please!

What could you possibly
have to say to me?

The Cherufe, I only did it
to keep the family safe.

You did it because you need
to be in control all the time,

but you can't control
what's coming.

We've had our differences,
but when the Garuda comes

we need to stick together,
look after our own.

I'll protect Val,
I always do when it counts.

The Garuda--

You did know
about it.

You were right, succubus,
I can feel it.

The enemy of the Naga,
of all the Fae rises.

We'll fight it.

You'll lose.

But still, I admire
your gumption

and I'll offer any resources
you may need.

That's a start.

Goodbye, Kenzi.



Is that my Nona's
fascinator?



This is unbelievable...

I figured old Sturgey
wouldn't mind.

Besides,
we deserve it.

For what?

I couldn't even convince
the Fae nobles

to help us fight the Garuda,
I mean, I'm not

the best public speaker,
but I had a great prop.

A friggin'
lava monster's head.

Wouldn't have mattered if you
slayed an army of underFae.

The Clans know what's
coming but they're scared.

But your peeps can't
just put their heads

in the sand and hope
that their money

and power
will save them.

They've lived behind
their privileged,

sheltered lives for centuries,
it's made them soft.

My mom used
to talk about it.

Told me I could be more,
that's why I became a cop.

And a great cop
at that, sir.

Here, here--

Cheers.

But the point is, I'm willing
to throw it all away.

Me too.

And so is Trick
and Lauren and Dyson.

We all have your
exquisitely toned back.

Oh, well,
thank you.

Don't bet on Dyson.

Besides, I wouldn't
fight at his side anyway.

Not anymore.

Knock-knock.

Hey--

That's my cue.

And I should go to bed before
I spontaneously collapse.

Muah!

You have fun
with my girl?

You're a lucky man.

Hi, one sec--

Hale, hey--

Aw, no, no, no--
You keep it.

No, no, no. Come on,
it was your Nona's.

Did I mention the sparkly
bits are genuine sapphire?

Damn....

No, no I can't,
take it.

Look, you were the perfect
girlfriend, you deserve it.

Thank you.

Baby, I'm fancy huh?
I'm fancy huh?

He gave that to you?

Yes.

That's absolutely
beautiful.

It's real sapphire.



Nadia!

My god,
what happened?

I cut myself,
what a stupid accident.

Your hand--

What were you doing
with the knife?

The knife?

I don't remember...

Lauren,
I'm scared--

It's okay--

It's okay.