Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 6, Episode 9 - Bugs Bunny in Boardwalk Bunny/Duck Hunting Gag: Crossbow/Cat Fished - full transcript

[theme music playing]

Step right up, folks!
Step right up!

Spin the wheel

and turn $1 into $10,000.

Come on, step right up!

Why, hello there, young man.

Are you ready to win?

I sure am, mister.

Okay, sonny.

Give the cash wheel a big spin.

[gasps]



[laughs cunningly]

[buzzes]

Aw, you lost.

What are the odds?

Better luck next time.

[crying hysterically]

[laughs cunningly] Sucker.

Now, who's the next loser?

Duh, I mean, customer.

[Bugs humming]

Talk about my lucky day.

I found a dollar.

Say, that's a nice-looking
dollar bill, rabbit.

-How'd you like to--
-Eh, no thanks.



Hey! What gives?

What gives is that
today's your lucky day.

Spin this here wheel,

and turn that dollar
into 10,000.

Actually, I'm on my way

to deposit this dollar
in the bank.

A bank!

Nobody puts his money
in a bank no more.

Everyone knows
the wisest thing to do

is to safely invest your money

in a firmly established
carnival game.

I don't know, Doc.

I'd have to think about it.

What is there to think about?

Just spin the wheel
and win 10,000 G's.

[laughs maliciously]

Well, all right. What the heck.

[laughs cunningly]

Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

I won!

Consarn it!

Cheap, second-rate
cheatin' lever!

[laughs nervously] I mean,
congratulations, rabbit.

[chuckles nervously]

So, where's my 10 G's?

[chuckles nervously]

Right here, rabbit.

Well, nice playing
with you, Doc.

It don't get
more lucky than this.

Now, now, now, hang on, rabbit.

You've got luck,
and I've got more games.

Play and win another game,

and I'll... I'll...

I'll double what you just won.

Double, huh?

Well, I guess
it is my lucky day.

Okay, rabbit.

For this game,
you got three chances

to toss a ring around a bottle

like so.

Ooh, how fun.

Okay, I'm ready.

[Sam] Here's your rings.

Good luck.

Not that it'll help.
[laughs cunningly]

Is it just me,

or do these rings look smaller
than that other one?

Oh, well, what do I know?

It's all in the wrist, rabbit.

[chuckles cunningly]

Too bad, rabbit.

[chuckles cunningly]

Hooray!

How about that!

I got every bottle.

[muttering]

One more game, rabbit.

Triple or nothing.

Please! I'm begging you!

I need this!

Okay, okay.

But only because
I hate to see a carny cry.

This game is called
Guess Sam's Weight.

It's simple.

Just take a look at me,
guess my exact weight,

and you win.

And this here scale
is the most trustworthy,

scientifically accurate scale

this side
of the Calabasas River.

Okay, rabbit,
what's your guess?

Hmm.

I'll say 193 pounds.

193 pounds.

One. Nine. Three.

Now I'm gonna
step on this here scale,

and we'll see if you're right.

[laughs cunningly]

One.

Nine.

[sighs in relief]

Oh! "152."

Too bad, rabbit.

Well, we're finally square.

[laughs nervously]

One last game!

Quadruple or nothing!

Nah. I think I'm good.

You'll play once more

if you know
what's good for you!

Rabbit, this one's
as basic as it gets.

Just swing the hammer
hard enough to ring the bell,

and you win.

Okay, Doc.

But, uh, where's the hammer?

Oh, how silly of me. [chuckles]

Allow me to go fetch it.

This time that rabbit's
guaranteed to lose...

His life.

[chuckles cunningly]

Here you are, rabbit.

Swing as hard as you can now.

Hmm.

Eh...

Hmm?

What are
you waiting for, rabbit?

How does this work again?

Just swing!

Not your hips.

Swing the hammer!

You mean like this?

Ugh! You're supposed
to ring the bell, remember?

That bell?

All the way up there?

No, you idiot varmint!

You are supposed
to hit this thing!

You mean, that's a bell, too?

No! That thing
triggers the bell!

I still don't follow.

Ooh, it's easy, you rabbit!

Just swing
the hammer like this.

Oh, now I get it.

What can I say?

Winning is easy

when you've got
two lucky rabbit's feet.

[laughs heartily]

[theme music playing]

Hi, everyone.

It's duck season.

But guns are frowned upon
in today's cartoons.

So...

I'll have to use
a different strategy,

like this awesome crossbow.

[laughing]

I got 'em.

Now to reel him in.

[screams]

[creature growls]

What'd I miss?

[theme music playing]

♪ I'm a tweet wittle bird
In a gilded cage ♪

♪ Tweety's my name ♪

♪ But I don't know my age ♪

♪ I don't have to worry
And that is that ♪

♪ I'm safe in here
From that old puddy cat! ♪

Uh-oh!

[laughs maliciously]

I got you now.

How dare you!

Now unhand my Tweety!

[groaning]

There are no cats
allowed in my house.

Now get out and stay out!

Yeah, puddy cat!
No cats allowed!

Just me and Granny,
and nobody else!

[sighs] I suppose
you're right...

"And nobody else."

Oh!

Granny, are you all right?

What's the matter?

Well, Tweety,

lately I've been
feeling a bit lonely.

I'm getting older,

and it would be nice

to have a companion
around the house.

But, Granny,

why do you even need
human companionship

when you have me?

[laughs] I'll tell you
when you're older.

Maybe I should jump
on this online dating rage

the youngsters are doing today.

Perhaps I can find
a handsome gentleman suitor

on the Senior Soulmates
dating website.

Ooh, looks like
it's time to go courtin'.

[laughs maliciously]

-[beeping]
-Oh, my!

Look at this, Tweety.
I got a super like.

This is so exciting!

-Let's see who it is!
-[key clacks]

Ooh, his name is Sly Vesterson.

It says he's a doctor, lawyer,

and retired
astronaut millionaire.

What a stud!

I'm going to go ahead
and super like him back.

[doorbell chimes]

Time for a date, a dinner date.

-[door opens]
-[Granny gasps]

Sly Vesterson?

[kisses]

Lamb sake, you've caught me
by surprise!

I rarely get gentlemen callers.

Oh, please, come in!

It must be my lucky night
to get such a handsome visitor.

Eh, I've seen better.

So, Sly, tell me
about yourself. Hmm?

What's this?

"I lost my tongue in the war.

I can't speak."

Heavens! Which war?

"All of them."

Oh, my goodness!

You brave man!

Thank you for your service!

Military men are so hot.

May I get you some tea,
soldier boy?

[Granny humming]

I tawt I taw--

Oh! Hi, Mr. Vesterson.

Are you in love
with my Granny yet?

Yes! In love with
her delicious taste in pets!

Oh, Sly...

Sly, what's going on?

[kisses]

[Granny] My stars, I've been
a card-carrying member

for 52 years!

Gracious!

I think tonight
is going to go very well.

So, how many lumps
of sugar, sugar?

[laughs]

Coming right up.

Hey, Mr. Vesterson,
catch me if you can.

[laughs]

Whee, this is fun.

Whoa, you're very
into this, Mr. Vesterson.

Hey, I think
you might be breaking

some of Granny's stuff.

[Granny] What's going on
out there?

[groans]

What in the dickens
is going on in here?

[gasps] Tweety!

What's gotten into you?

Please excuse us, Sly.

I thought you might feel
a little jealous,

but to behave
this aggressively--

But, Granny, I... I--

That is enough
of your lip, Tweety.

You've been
a very naughty bird.

Locking you in my room

will give you time to think
about what you've done.

Stay in your cage.

I'll check up
on you in an hour.

[Tweety] Yes, Granny.

Here's your tea, deary.

I know we just met, Sly,

but what are your thoughts
on love at first sight?

[giggles] Goodness!

You want to dance with me?

I haven't danced in ages.

[gasps] I love this song, Sly,

because it starts off slow,
and then gets nice and...

fast!

[upbeat music playing]

Hot diggity! Whoo-hoo!

All my sweet moves
are coming back to me.

It's just like riding a bike!

Mr. Vesterson?

You know, you got me
in a lot of trouble

with my Granny.

That old biddy is the least
of your problems.

[laughs maliciously]

[Granny] There you are!

Oh, you don't waste any time,
do you, Sly?

I love a man who cuts
straight to the chase.

[kissing]

[retches]

I told you, Granny,
he's not a war hero at all.

It's that mean old puddy cat.

[chuckles nervously]

How dare you mislead me,

you feline phony!

Looks like Granny's silver fox

was really just
a bad ol' puddy cat.

[theme music playing]