Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 9 - Auto Birdy Shop/Daffy Traffic Cop Stop: Phone Booth/Eyes Wide Fudd - full transcript

[theme music playing]

Oh, yes!
This is coming along nicely.

And now, where did I put
that socket wrench?

Well, it looks like
it's roasted boot on a stick
for dinner again.

[Granny] Oh, Tweety Bird,
have you seen my socket wrench?

Tweety Bird?

Here you go, Granny.

Let me sock it to ya.

Why, thank you, Tweety.

Where would I be without
my little helper canary?

Canary?
That's my favorite flavor.



Would you be a dear
and get me a flashlight?

One flashlight coming up.

Why cook for yourself
when takeout is so much easier?

There.
Now, let's check the oil.

Okay, Granny.

Time to pop my hood.

Oh, Mr. Dipstick, come out,
come out, wherever you are.

There you are.

Ooh! Not good. Not good.

Look, Granny, no oil.

No oil?

Well, you know what to do.

Here we are.

All set, Granny.



Hardly.
That was only the first can.

Oops.

[gulping]

Gee whiz! This car
is a real oil guzzler.

[vomits]

Now let's see how she runs.

Uh-oh. Sounds like we've got
an exhaust blockage.

I'll clean it out.

Okay, Granny.

I'm coming out.

Give it a try, Granny.

[engine accelerating]

Purring like a kitten now.

[crashing]

That was exhausting.

[crashes]

[ratchet winding]

[alarm beeping]

Time for my afternoon tea.

Now's my chance.

♪ This is the way
I clean the dash ♪

♪ Clean the dash
Clean the dash ♪

♪ This is the way
I clean the dash ♪

♪ To make it nice and shiny ♪

[clears throat]

[imitating Granny]
Oh, Tweety.

It's Granny.

Would you fetch
my flex head ratchet?

You got it, Granny.

One flex head ratchet
coming up.

[laughing]

Lunch is served.

Ah, here it is.

You know, on the bright side,
I no longer have
an iron deficiency.

This better work
or it's back to eating shoes.

[Granny]
That's that. All that's left
is to put on those tires.

[drill whirring]

I must be breathing in
too many fumes 'cause
I tawt I taw a puddy cat.

There. Time to see
how this baby
handles the road.

Let's roll.

[sputtering]

Ooh! It drives great, Granny.

Now let's try the hydraulics.

Yo, yo, hit those switches,
T-Bird.

[Sylvester groaning]

Suffering succotash!

I'm feeling lucky, Tweety.

What do you say
we drive this thing to Vegas?

Ooh! I just love road trips.

From this moment on,
I'm retiring from
catching birds.

[theme music playing]

Yeah. Yeah, it was crazy.

So then I says to him...
So then I says...

[sputtering] Pull over!

Hold on, friend.
I'm being pulled over.

Is there a problem, Officer?

Yes, there is a problem.

You can't talk on the phone
while driving.

-[indistinct chatter
over phone]
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

What's that?

Oh, he wants to talk to you.

Uh... Hello?

[glass breaking]

Looks like he got disconnected.

His arms, his back,
his shoulders.

[theme music playing]

The meeting of
the all-knowing Order
of the Luminescent Llama

shall now commence.

[men] A-woogly
woogly-woo.

Today, fellow Llamas,
is a most prestigious day,

for it is on this day that
we shall initiate any new
members into our ranks.

If there are
any recruits present,
step forward now.

That's my cue.

I pledge myself

before the Order
of the Llamas.

A duck? Really?

This is a mockery of the order.

Hear me out, Your Honor.

I'm ready to prove I can be
a valuable member of...
whatever this is.

I even brought my own fez.

Hmm.

The bylaws state
that anyone wishing to join

the Order of
the Luminescent Llamas

must first survive the four
treacherous trials.

And I'll make sure
that you don't.

Let the initiation commence.

[laughing maniacally]

The first trial
of the initiation
is the horrible, excruciating,

soul-destroying
walk of flaming
footsy-wootsies.

Oh, good name.

[slurping]

Would you mind
holding my drink,

O Grand Poobah?

Of course.

Thanks, brother.

All right, duck. Get ready
to pledge your loyalty
and get roasted!

[shrieking]

Yowch! Ah! Ooh!

Oh, the agony!

You're not on hot coals.

You're on the ice
from your spilled drink.

Oh. I was wondering
why those hot coals
felt so wet.

Now, get on those coals
and burn like a proper tribute.

[exclaiming]

[screams]

Hey, this is easy.

Well, looks like
I made it across.
What's the next trial?

This way, duck.

Now, for one of my
favorite trials,

you must prove your loyalty
to the order

by way of the ordeal
of the sacred paddle.

Oh, I know how to use
one of these.

Did I win the trial?

Oh, give me that.

Now assume the position.

You mean this position?

What? No!

Hmm. No, huh?

How about this position? Hmm?

No!

This? This? This?

The paddling position.
The paddling position!

This paddling position?

[singing opera]

Oh, what a beautiful song.

Hey, buddy!
What about this position?

Yes, finally.

[screaming]

Yeesh.

Wouldn't want to be
in his position.

Enough nonsense.

This next trial will assess
your worthiness
of entering our ranks.

You must choose between
these two--

Hey, what's behind those doors?

Stop interrupting.
I was getting to that.

[clears throat]

You must choose wisely
between these two doors.

But behind one lies knowledge,
strength and ice cream,

while behind the other,

there resides a giant,
raging, bloodthirsty lion.

[gasps]

A blood turkey Hawaiian?

What? No, no, no.

A bloodthirsty lion.

So a flood full of iron?

-No.
-A brotherly Mayan?

Blushing Himalayan?
High apple pie in the sky-an?

A lion. Lion. Lion!

Did you just say I was lying?

Sir, you have insulted
my honor.

Oh, you stubborn mallard.

I'm saying lion.

Like the one behind this door.

See? Lion.

[screaming]

Well, what do you know?
He wasn't lying.

There really is a lion.

All right, initiate.

You now face the final
and most formidable
test of all.

You must write a million-word
essay on the importance
of this guild.

It'll be a cold day
before I let this loser
into my club.

Oh, well, let me just get you
something to write with.

[laughing]

-All right. Are you ready--
-Finished.

What?

How?

Oh, yeah, I used my own ink.

Can you believe
we're made of this stuff?

[explosion]

So? How'd I do, Chief?

Were you blown away?

Yes, I was.

Fellow Llamas,

it is now time to induct
a new member into our ranks.

It is with regret
we now welcome Brother Daffy.

Yada, yada, yada, yada.

[men] A-woogly
woogly-woo.

And a woogly woogly-whoo-hoo
to you too, fellow Lamers.

[crying]

Just take your lousy
membership card,

and remember that meetings
are on Tuesdays.

Tuesdays?

Eh, sorry, chum.

Going to have to cancel
my membership.

Tuesday is Taco Night
at Senor Sweetie's Taco Hut.

[man gasp] Tacos?

[all clamoring]

Meeting adjourned.

[theme music playing]