Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 5 - Bugs Bunny in Yosemite Samurai/Bugs Hole Gags 2: Bees Nest/Dummies in the Dark - full transcript

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Long ago
in feudal Japan,

under the rule of
the shogun emperor,

mighty samurai warriors
protected the land
with nobility and virtue.

No, not him!

Over there.

Hmm? What you making there?

I'm making a nutritious salad
and I'm about to toss in
this here eggplant.

You like eggplant, Doc?

That's the shogun's
vegetables you're using,
you dern thieving usagi.

And as per the code
of the samurai,



you're to be keel-hauled
for your dishonorable dinner.

Ha!

Eh, that's a mighty fine
poking stick you got there.

Perfect for a veggie
shish kebab.

Oh, you darn rabbit!
This ain't for
shish kabobbering.

This here is a genuine
katanar sword.

It can slice through anything.

Anything you say, Doc?

-How about this mango?
-[shouts]

-How about this watermelon?
-[shouts]

-These strawberries?
-[shouting]

This crater of dragon fruit
and bananas?

[shouting]

Incredible!



This is the best fruit salad
I've ever seen.

This is just one of several
edible creations

you can make with
the Swifty Samurai Katana.

Only $19.99 if you
call in now.

Gosh, I could sure use
one of those.

[grunting]

[chuckling]

I think his sword
is a little sharper
than he is.

[shrieks]

I'm gonna tan
your hide, rabbit.

[shrieks]

You gall dern
buck-tooth monkey--

[yelling] Yow!

Maybe now I can relax
and get some
decent grub.

[Sam yelling]

Uh-oh.

[Sam yelling]

Trying to fish from
the shogun's pond, eh?

[Bugs] You, how dare you swim
in the shogun's pond.

[gasps] General!

Uh, well, you see,
there was a--

And I-- And then, um--

[Bugs] You have defiled
this sacred place

with your dishonorable
body odor.

Ooh, uh, but... but I've been
using the cream.

[Bugs] Enough!

Come out and face
the consequences.

Are you ready to make
your final sacrifice
as a samurai warrior?

I fear nothing.

So what do you think
of the new you?

[gasping]

You left me with nothing
but a bonnysai tree
on my noggin.

[Bugs] Oh, you wanted
a full trim?

There you go.
Smooth as silk.

Wait a dern minute!
You're that rabbit.

[yelling]

[yelling]

You can't hide from
Samurai Sam forever.

Muah!

[yelling]

Ohh, boo-hoo-hoo!
Ohh, boo-hoo-hoo!

[sobbing]

What's the matter,
little lady?

Oh, dear.

There is news that our village
will soon be ransacked
by a renegade samurai.

He will rob us all
and steal our crops.

What? Ransack
the shogun's town,
will he?

Don't you worry none, darling,

Samurai Sam will vanquish
that bushido bandito.

Really?

You will save us
from the one they call
the Demon of the Mountain?

He'll be under the mountain
once I'm done with him

'cause I am the swiftest,
slashing-est, rip-roaring-est
sword slinger

this side of Mount Fuji.

Finally, a warrior brave enough
to face the Demon
of the Mountain,

slayer of a
million-and-one men.

You're darn tooting!
I ain't afraid of...
Wait.

Did you say
a [stammering] million?

And one.

[gulping and exhales]

Oh, look! There he is now!
Marching out of the West.

Uh, maybe we could
just talk it out?

Quickly, quickly!
Strike him down,
brave warrior.

Stop!

The deed is done.

You are already dead!

[wind whooshes]

Done?

What do you mean, done?

[Bugs] Boo-hoo!
Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

He was such
a brave warrior!
[sobbing]

[gasping]

The dark specter of death.

This mean I've gone to
the great beyond?

It's... beautiful.

Well, if I'm gonna march
to the great beyond,
at least I'll do it with honor.

-[canvas rips]
-[Sam yelling]

[crashes]

[wind whooshing]

Gee, I guess I really made
the little guy... sore.

[chuckling]

[theme music playing]

[buzzing]

[explosion]

[hissing]

[theme music playing]

Oh, no! It's... It's the...

the monster!

[screams]

[woman screams]

[stammering] Nothing like
a stormy night to enjoy
a monster movie, eh, Daffy?

[shuddering]

[chuckles nervously]

Yeah, I love monster movies.

Aw, Daffy. You have nothing
to be scared about.

It's just a movie.
Monsters aren't real.

Scared? Who? Me?
I'm not scared.

[thunder breaking]

[power outage]

[Daffy yelling]
The monster's going to get us!
We're all doomed!

[Porky] Daffy, it's just
a power outage.

We... We just have to...
reset the fuse box.

[Daffy] But how are we
going to find the fuse box
in the dark?

[Porky]
Lucky for us,
I'm prepared for...

such a situation.

Let's see here. Um... Ah-ha!

There we go. See?

It's the deadly glow
of the monster's
evil eye!

[flashlight shatters]

[Daffy] Phew.

[Porky stammering]
Daffy! [sighs]

Eh, that was
my only flashlight.

[Daffy] Huh? Better safe
than sorry.

[Porky] Look, there's...
nothing here in the dark

that isn't here
in the... light,

especially... monsters.

Now, let's find
that fuse box.

[Daffy gasps] Don't leave me!

[Daffy shuddering]

[Porky] It's... gotta be
around somewhere.

[Daffy yelling]
It's the monster!

-[lightning breaks]
-[Daffy yelling]

Oh! Oh. It's just my equipment
from band camp.

[clatters]

[Porky stammering]
Daffy, come on!

[Daffy yelling]

Take him first!

[thunder breaks]

It's just a houseplant.

-Now stop overreacting!
-[thunder breaks]

What is it, Porky?

Porky? Why aren't
you talking?

Porky? Porky!

[yelling] Porky,
speak to me!

[screaming]
What did he
do to you?

[thunder breaking]

[stammering] Daffy,
come on, will you?

You're being... ridiculous.

-Huh?
-[thunder breaking]

[piggy bank shatters]

[Daffy] Porky, wait!
There he is.

Look at the monster
watching us with
those cold, dead eyes.

Oh, my gosh!

It's even more hideous
than I imagined.

[Porky stammering] Daffy,
it's just my... reflection,

and I'm looking pretty good,
if I... do say so myself.

[mirror shatters]

[thunder breaking]

[Porky resentfully]
Let's keep moving.

Oh, okay. I think we're...
pretty close.

[thunder breaks]

This may be
a little too close.

[Porky] Sorry. [chuckling]

[stammering] Wrong turn.

[water dripping]

[Daffy] I think we're
getting warmer.

[thunder breaks]

Oh, okay, I think things
are... finally starting
to look up for us.

[thunder breaking]

[both screaming]

[crashes]

[Daffy groans]

[Porky] Maybe we should
split up.

[Daffy]
Anything you say,
Porko.

[thunder breaks]

[thunder breaking]

[both screaming]

[crashing]

[Porky] Okay, okay,
we can get out of this.

Just... deep breaths
and... relax.

[both sighing]

I... think it's this direction.

[Daffy] You sure about that?
'Cause I don't see nothing.

Oh, what do you know?
You're right.

Lights are on in here.

Oh. [giggling nervously]

My mistake.

Wee!

[tires screeching]

Whoo-hoo!

[Porky sternly] Daffy!

[Daffy] Yes, Porky?

[Porky] We... We're never
gonna get to the fuse box
at this rate.

[thunder breaking]

Hey, the fuse box.
We found it.

And just like I told you,
no... no monster in sight.

I'm just going to...
flip the switch,

and the power should be back
to normal and...

[power restoring]

Easy as that.

Gee, Porky.
Maybe you were right.

Monsters are not real.

[in deep voice] Oh, really?
'Cause that's news to me.

[stuttering]

[both] Monster!

[in high-pitched voice]
What'd I say? What'd I say?

[theme music playing]