Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 5, Episode 11 - Bugs Bunny in Funny Book Bunny/Balloon Salesman: All the Balloons/Kitty Krashers - full transcript

[theme music playing]

Oh, hewwo there!

You're pwobably wondering
what I'm dwawing.

Well, I spent the last 80 years

twying to catch that howwible,

despicable, no good wabbit

but I never could.

That's why I'm making
a comic book about it,

because anything can happen
in a comic book,

especially if you
draw it yourself. See.

It's called, "Elmer Fudd kills,



maims, murderizes, humiwiates

and utterwy annihiwates
da wabbit!"

A tale for all ages! [laughs]

And it's full of gweat scenes!
Like in this panel,

where I finally capture
the Wabbit! Hooway!

Then I humiliate him
in fwont of all his fwiends!

And, in this panel
I get a girlfwiend.

Isn't she beautiful?
[sighs dreamily]

And now to dwaw
the final panel,

where I devour his dewwicious
wabbit fwesh!

[phone ringing]

Dwat! That must be
mother calling again.

Oh well!

I'll be wight back to finish
my thwilling concwusion.



[yawns]

Boy! Being in this
maroon's cartoon

sure is hard work.

Holding still like that
put a nasty crick in my neck.

Hey, you're not supposed to
be moving awound!

Eh! So sue me.

Just you wait, Wabbit!

You're on a one way ticket
to my tum-tum!

Could you say that again, Doc?
I couldn't quite hear you.

[inhales air]

I'm a big stinky dum dum!

Your words, not mine!

Oh! [mutters angrily]

Whoa! Watch the language, Doc!

Kids read these comics,
you know.

What you are doing, Wabbit?

This is my comic book
where I'm supposed to win!

Sorry, Doc, it's your comic.

Let me make it up to you.

To commemorate this moment
I wrote you a victory speech.

Enjoy, my treat.

Hmm. Thanks, I guess.

I just thought
maybe my victory speech

would be a little bigger?

Oh, Doc, you're right.

Let me fix it for you.

Here you go!

That's more like it.

[screaming]

[Elmer groans]

Mmwah!

[gurgles]

[Big Elmer] Ow!

Say, watch where
you're throwing those things!

And, stay inside
your own panel!

[Bugs] Yoohoo!

Mmmwah!

[inhale]

[blows air]

Ha! I got ya now!

Dwat! My shoewaces are untied!

Now, what was that twick mother
showed me again?

Over and under and oh...

Looks like you could use some
help, Doc.

No!

[sheepishly] Yes.

Over and under and pull!

Wow! Thanks, Mr. Wabbit!

Oops! Guess I pulled too hard!

[laughs slyly]

[laughs slyly]

Now that Elmer's gone,

I can frolic in this comic
safe and sound!

What the--

[grunts]

Stick them up, Wabbit!

You forgot one important thing!

I'm the hero
of this comic book,

[laughs loftily]

[fire crackling]

[screams]

[evil laugh]

[high-pitched noises from book]

[gibberish chatter from phone]

Yes, Mother.

Yes, Mother.

[Bugs] Uh oh!

[Big Elmer] This is the end,
Wabbit.

How about we finish this comic

by rubbing you
out of existence?

Aw, Doc, no!

Don't erase me, please!

I'm too young to vanish!

-Uh-oh.
-What?

Eh, looks like you got
something on your chest, Doc.

I do?

Wait. I'm not falling
for that old twick.

No seriously, Doc.
Let me show you.

It's right... there.

Mmm. I don't remember dwawing
a stupid face on my chest.

Who you calling stupid?

-Whoa!
-Take this!

Take that!

And some of these!

[spitting out]

[sobbing]

What gives! That darn wabbit
can still twick me,

even in my very own comic book!

This ain't your comic book
anymore, Mac!

[giddy laughter]

And now, back to my
cweative masterpiece!

Hey! Who ruined my comic?

[screams]

[toilet flushing]

[laughs wickedly]

Ain't I an inker?

Hey. I wanna buy
all your balloons, please.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Now, will you please give me
all your balloons?

Hmm.

Nah. You can't handle them.

I easily... certainly
can handle a few
flimsy rubber balloons.

Now... [stuttering]
give them to me!

Uh...

Maybe try one
and see how you do.

[stuttering] One? I demand
you sell all to me...

-...now!
-Okay, okay!

Suit yourself!

[stuttering] Thank you.
Now that wasn't so hard.

Can't say I didn't warn him!
[laughs]

[theme music playing]

[Porky humming]

[cat meows softly]

Oh, goodness. You...
[stuttering] ...the poor thing!

Out here all alone...
[stuttering] ...in the rain.

I'm gonna take you home
with me,

where it's nice and cozy.

There!

Now you're all snug
as a bug in a ... [stuttering]
...a carpet.

Nighty night,
my fluffy little buddy.

Hey Sylvester, it worked!

That sod fell for it.

Come on over
and bring the boys!

-[Porky snoring]
-[kitten laughing]

[kitten laughing]

Where did these
horrible alley cats come from?

My... [stuttering]
...potted plants!

Pinata time!

[screeching]

[Porky screams and stutters]
My player piano!,

[stuttering] My wallpaper!

[gasps and groans]

[all] Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug!

[moans and hiccups]

[sputters angrily]

This pussycat party is over!

[Sylvester] Mrow!

[Dumb Cat] Meow!

[Cat 1] Meow!

There! [sighs in relief]

Boy, that was just terrible.
[stuttering] That was awful.

How on earth did my house
get overrun

by a dozen mangy cats,
anyway?

Actually, there weren't
a dozen.

There were only...
[screams] Four!

[Porky squeals]

[mud squelches]

You know, I am starting
to think

that kitten took me
for a real...

I gotta get those cats
out of my house.

[stuttering] But how?

Oh! Cats only, huh?

Hmm!

[banging]

I'm here for
the "Cats Only" party.

[stuttering] Because
I am a cat.

Duhh, he ain't no cat!

I am, too. I can prove it!

Uh, how do I prove I'm a cat?

Easy! No real cat
can resist chasing...

The red spot.

Uh... [stuttering]
What's the red spot?

This. Now go get it!

Oh... [stuttering] Right!
Meow!

Meow. Meow.

I did it! I caught
the red spot!

Good! Now catch the
two yellow spots.

Yellow spots?

[truck honking]

[stuttering] See?
I'm a cat.

Hmm! I'm not convinced yet.

[glass breaking]

Cats just love knocking stuff
off shelves, don't we?

Now, let's see you knock
some stuff off of this shelf.

Oh! Yeah, sure!

[whimpers]

[whispers] Sorry, Grandma.

[glass breaks]

[whimpering] Why, Porky?

Why?

Uh, well you didn't look like
you enjoyed that.

How about you catch
a mouse for us?

Oh! [stuttering] Yum yum!

[rat groans]

-[chomping]
-[all laughing]

Cats love milk!

[stuttering] I love--

[blubbering]

[gasping for breath]

And kitty litter!

[muffled screaming]

And not to mention,
big old balls of yarn!

Smack.

[all cats] But we especially
love...

[in sing-song voice] Serenading
under the moonlight!

[neighbor] Shut up!

[groans] No more, no more.
No more--

That's right! There's no more
doubt in my mind.

You're clearly a cat.

-I am?
-And what a great cat are you!

Right, boys?

Hip hip hooray!

-A cat!
-[all cats] Hip hip hooray!

I'm a cat? [chuckles] Yippee!

I'm a cat! [laughs] Whoo!

-[all cats] Hip hip hooray!
-What am I doing?

I ain't no stinking cat!

And this ain't
your stinking house!

All righty, pussycats,

this is my house!

And if you think you can
just come in here,

and do whatever you want...

[thudding]

You're right.

[all laughing]

[sobs]

[stuttering] Oh, I guess
I don't have a home anymore.

[whimpers] What am I
gonna do now?

[crying]

[woman] Aw!
What a totally adorable
little kitty cat!

What? A kitty cat?

Oh, no, ma'am. I'm not a kitty.

I'm a... [stuttering]

[woman] I am totally
gonna take you home!

Get in my limo,
and we will drive
straight to my mansion

and I will pamper you
and give you everything

your little kitty cat heart
desires.

Uh, did I say I wasn't a cat?

Because what I meant to say
was... [stuttering] Meow!

[meows and purrs]

Sayonara, pussycats!
[laughs smugly]

Hey, lady, wait!

[meows]

Ah, who cares!

Forget that dummy.

After all, we still got
his house!

[mice squeaking]

[theme music playing]