Looney Tunes Cartoons (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Curse of the Monkeybird/Deflating Planet/Harm Wrestling - full transcript
In a doomed expedition in a foreign jungle, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig search for a cursed treasure inside a temple, but are chased by the vicious Monkey Bird who wants to defend the treasure. Near the end of the short, Daffy is forced to marry the creature, but luckily, he and Porky escape via means of a flying treasure chest.
[theme music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[birds screeching]
[monkeys screeching]
[rustling]
[cawing]
[roaring]
[leaves rustling]
[stuttering] Hiya, folks.
Daffy and I are searching for
the lost temple
of the Monkey Bird.
We're gonna bring home
the treasure.
Fame and fortune!
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
And we're gonna pay off
those parking tickets.
And another,
and another, and another.
So, how much further, chum?
[Porky] We just need
to follow this trail
all the way to the mark X.
Our trail!
Lost. What are we gonna do?
We'll die in this jungle.
Get a hold of yourself.
You're hysterical!
I don't want to die here.
[Daffy crying]
We'll never find the temple!
Oh, there is it.
[suspenseful music playing]
Beware of
the Monkey Bird Curse!
The Monkey Bird Curse!
Maybe we should
just forget about it.
I don't want to be cursed!
Curse, schmurse!
Science prevails!
There's no such things
as curses.
[Daffy screaming]
Now, then, you first, pal.
No curses yet.
The map says to watch out
for booby traps, though.
Looks like they're marked
pretty clearly.
Kind of a bad time
for acupuncture.
[grunts]
Ooh, a torch!
Daffy!
Huh, a light switch!
Wha...
You know, I've been
wanting to read this.
Hmm, kind of crooked.
[horse neighing]
-Ooh!
-[birds tweeting]
[bell dings]
Nice to meet you, chum.
[Porky screaming]
[elevator bell dings]
Porky, look!
The treasure
of the Monkey Bird Temple!
[both yelping]
What's with
all the banana peels?
And all these
Monkey Bird Monthly magazines.
Whoever lives here
is a real pig!
No offense, pal.
[screaming]
[hissing]
I've been bitten by a snake!
You have to suck
out the poison!
Suck poison?
Hurry, chum.
Everything's going dark.
[sucking]
The poison's rushing
to my head!
-Hurry!
-[sucking]
It's all over!
I'll save you, Daffy.
Keep sucking.
Suck! Suck!
Put your back into it!
[sucking]
Okay, I got the treasure,
let's go.
Uh, whose leg is that?
[caws and whistles]
[both] The Monkey Bird!
[both scream]
[both screaming]
[cawing]
[growling]
[both scream]
[grunts]
[both chuckling]
[both] So long, Monkey Bird!
[growling]
[both screaming]
[both whimpering]
[growling]
[both screaming]
[all chuckling]
Look at your face.
You look like
a complete idiot!
[both whimpering]
[Monkey Bird growling]
Before you destroy us,
I must say...
[calmly] you have
the most ravishing eyes
I have ever seen!
[growls] Huh?
Aah, that beak!
Your plumage.
You're beautiful.
[laughing coyly]
You know, we've been
going around for a while,
and I was wondering,
will you wear
my letterman's jacket?
[Monkey Bird yells]
[grunting]
Always a bridesmaid,
never a bride.
[hissing]
-[hissing]
-[wedding music playing]
Uh-huh.
[crying]
I always cry at weddings.
Ooh, I love it.
But you know,
I bet it looks better
on you.
With this ring, I thee wed.
[Daffy whooping]
[engine revving]
[crashing]
We made it!
Let's see our treasure.
A golden egg!
[both] We're rich!
[all] Daddy!
[both] Oh, no!
[babies clamoring]
I guess this is the curse
they were talking about--
[stammering] mentioned earlier.
[music playing]
I claim this planet
in the name of Mars.
Aah, there we--
-Oh.
-[blowing]
Well, that's deflating.
[theme music playing]
[guns firing]
[alarm buzzes]
[baby crying]
[heart beating]
Nobody can beat Yosemite Sam,
the Arm Wrestling Champeen.
[gulps]
[Sam] Next!
All right, which one of you
stick-armed saddle suckers
is next?
[panting] Phew!
It's hot out there.
Wonder if this joint
has any boxed carrot water.
A-ha! A perfect victim.
I'ma challenging you to
an arm wrestlin' match, rabbit!
Arm wrestling? [chuckles]
No thanks, Doc.
I just want a drink.
Well, you're drinking
a tall, frosty glass
of arm wrestlin'.
Catch my drift?
All right, bud,
I'll participate.
This picture's only
a few minutes long, anyways.
What the-- Eww!
Those are some
filthy fingernails, Doc.
Oh, no, they are?
That's not very sanitary.
Wash 'em off in here, first.
Ooh! Ya dang varmint!
Stop boondogglin'
and square up.
[Bugs] Coochie-
coochie-coo!
[laughing]
-Stop that!
-Uh, no problem, Doc.
[chuckling]
Quit yer fooling,
yer crazy rabbit!
You got it, bub.
Scout's honor.
[cracks]
[sizzling]
All right,
no more funny business.
Okay, Mac, if you insist.
-On yer mark,
get set--
-[thud]
Oh, ya dang critter.
I wasn't ready!
-Wait until I say--
-[thud]
Ooh!
-Yer supposed to wait
until I say--
-[thud]
-Until I say--
-[thud]
Dagnabbit!
Wait until I say "go"!
[horse neighing in background]
Go!
Now, hold on there, Doc.
You've got
an unfair advantage.
[inhales and blows]
That's better.
Oh, hey, that's cheating.
You're right, Doc.
Here, you take 'em.
What the--
Oh, that does it, rabbit!
-I'm gonna--
-Ahem.
Uh, Doc.
[wolf-whistling]
Oh, uh, pardon me, folks.
[laughs nervously]
[breaking wind]
Sorry, shorty,
I was just playing.
Play time's over.
Gee, Doc, don't you think
that's, uh, going
a little overboard?
We're arm wrestling
for reals this time.
Now, let's get to it.
Ready, steady, go!
[rattling]
[dramatic music playing]
Uh... [chomping]
Whatcha doin' there, Doc?
I'm arm wrestling
this here rabbit.
Oh, yeah?
You gonna win?
Of course, I'm gonna win.
Okay, I guess I'll bet
on you then, Doc.
Yeah, bet on me.
Always bet
on arm wrestling Sam,
'cause I always win.
[chuckling]
Hey, the rabbit turned
into a stick of dynamite.
Uh-oh.
[sizzling]
Uh, confidentially, folks,
this ain't my first rodeo.
[music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[birds screeching]
[monkeys screeching]
[rustling]
[cawing]
[roaring]
[leaves rustling]
[stuttering] Hiya, folks.
Daffy and I are searching for
the lost temple
of the Monkey Bird.
We're gonna bring home
the treasure.
Fame and fortune!
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
And we're gonna pay off
those parking tickets.
And another,
and another, and another.
So, how much further, chum?
[Porky] We just need
to follow this trail
all the way to the mark X.
Our trail!
Lost. What are we gonna do?
We'll die in this jungle.
Get a hold of yourself.
You're hysterical!
I don't want to die here.
[Daffy crying]
We'll never find the temple!
Oh, there is it.
[suspenseful music playing]
Beware of
the Monkey Bird Curse!
The Monkey Bird Curse!
Maybe we should
just forget about it.
I don't want to be cursed!
Curse, schmurse!
Science prevails!
There's no such things
as curses.
[Daffy screaming]
Now, then, you first, pal.
No curses yet.
The map says to watch out
for booby traps, though.
Looks like they're marked
pretty clearly.
Kind of a bad time
for acupuncture.
[grunts]
Ooh, a torch!
Daffy!
Huh, a light switch!
Wha...
You know, I've been
wanting to read this.
Hmm, kind of crooked.
[horse neighing]
-Ooh!
-[birds tweeting]
[bell dings]
Nice to meet you, chum.
[Porky screaming]
[elevator bell dings]
Porky, look!
The treasure
of the Monkey Bird Temple!
[both yelping]
What's with
all the banana peels?
And all these
Monkey Bird Monthly magazines.
Whoever lives here
is a real pig!
No offense, pal.
[screaming]
[hissing]
I've been bitten by a snake!
You have to suck
out the poison!
Suck poison?
Hurry, chum.
Everything's going dark.
[sucking]
The poison's rushing
to my head!
-Hurry!
-[sucking]
It's all over!
I'll save you, Daffy.
Keep sucking.
Suck! Suck!
Put your back into it!
[sucking]
Okay, I got the treasure,
let's go.
Uh, whose leg is that?
[caws and whistles]
[both] The Monkey Bird!
[both scream]
[both screaming]
[cawing]
[growling]
[both scream]
[grunts]
[both chuckling]
[both] So long, Monkey Bird!
[growling]
[both screaming]
[both whimpering]
[growling]
[both screaming]
[all chuckling]
Look at your face.
You look like
a complete idiot!
[both whimpering]
[Monkey Bird growling]
Before you destroy us,
I must say...
[calmly] you have
the most ravishing eyes
I have ever seen!
[growls] Huh?
Aah, that beak!
Your plumage.
You're beautiful.
[laughing coyly]
You know, we've been
going around for a while,
and I was wondering,
will you wear
my letterman's jacket?
[Monkey Bird yells]
[grunting]
Always a bridesmaid,
never a bride.
[hissing]
-[hissing]
-[wedding music playing]
Uh-huh.
[crying]
I always cry at weddings.
Ooh, I love it.
But you know,
I bet it looks better
on you.
With this ring, I thee wed.
[Daffy whooping]
[engine revving]
[crashing]
We made it!
Let's see our treasure.
A golden egg!
[both] We're rich!
[all] Daddy!
[both] Oh, no!
[babies clamoring]
I guess this is the curse
they were talking about--
[stammering] mentioned earlier.
[music playing]
I claim this planet
in the name of Mars.
Aah, there we--
-Oh.
-[blowing]
Well, that's deflating.
[theme music playing]
[guns firing]
[alarm buzzes]
[baby crying]
[heart beating]
Nobody can beat Yosemite Sam,
the Arm Wrestling Champeen.
[gulps]
[Sam] Next!
All right, which one of you
stick-armed saddle suckers
is next?
[panting] Phew!
It's hot out there.
Wonder if this joint
has any boxed carrot water.
A-ha! A perfect victim.
I'ma challenging you to
an arm wrestlin' match, rabbit!
Arm wrestling? [chuckles]
No thanks, Doc.
I just want a drink.
Well, you're drinking
a tall, frosty glass
of arm wrestlin'.
Catch my drift?
All right, bud,
I'll participate.
This picture's only
a few minutes long, anyways.
What the-- Eww!
Those are some
filthy fingernails, Doc.
Oh, no, they are?
That's not very sanitary.
Wash 'em off in here, first.
Ooh! Ya dang varmint!
Stop boondogglin'
and square up.
[Bugs] Coochie-
coochie-coo!
[laughing]
-Stop that!
-Uh, no problem, Doc.
[chuckling]
Quit yer fooling,
yer crazy rabbit!
You got it, bub.
Scout's honor.
[cracks]
[sizzling]
All right,
no more funny business.
Okay, Mac, if you insist.
-On yer mark,
get set--
-[thud]
Oh, ya dang critter.
I wasn't ready!
-Wait until I say--
-[thud]
Ooh!
-Yer supposed to wait
until I say--
-[thud]
-Until I say--
-[thud]
Dagnabbit!
Wait until I say "go"!
[horse neighing in background]
Go!
Now, hold on there, Doc.
You've got
an unfair advantage.
[inhales and blows]
That's better.
Oh, hey, that's cheating.
You're right, Doc.
Here, you take 'em.
What the--
Oh, that does it, rabbit!
-I'm gonna--
-Ahem.
Uh, Doc.
[wolf-whistling]
Oh, uh, pardon me, folks.
[laughs nervously]
[breaking wind]
Sorry, shorty,
I was just playing.
Play time's over.
Gee, Doc, don't you think
that's, uh, going
a little overboard?
We're arm wrestling
for reals this time.
Now, let's get to it.
Ready, steady, go!
[rattling]
[dramatic music playing]
Uh... [chomping]
Whatcha doin' there, Doc?
I'm arm wrestling
this here rabbit.
Oh, yeah?
You gonna win?
Of course, I'm gonna win.
Okay, I guess I'll bet
on you then, Doc.
Yeah, bet on me.
Always bet
on arm wrestling Sam,
'cause I always win.
[chuckling]
Hey, the rabbit turned
into a stick of dynamite.
Uh-oh.
[sizzling]
Uh, confidentially, folks,
this ain't my first rodeo.
[music playing]