Looking (2014–2015): Season 2, Episode 1 - Looking for the Promised Land - full transcript

[Rock music playing]

♪ Feeling the breeze,
take it with ease ♪

Look at the sun
coming through the trees.

I know.
It's so beautiful.

♪ Summertime ♪

There's actually a tree around
here that's over 1,400 years old.

We have to go see that one.

Go see a tree?

- I don't think so, Paddy.
- Don't be such a grouch.

It'll be fun, I promise.
And educational.

You know what else would
be fun and educational?



Going to the clothing-optional
pool at the highlands.

Ah. There are not enough
antibiotics in the world

to get me in that water.

You're not scared of a little
gonorrhea, are you, Dom?

I'm doing whatever he tells me.

And if that's seeing some
old tree, I'm in, Paddy.

Well, thank you, Dom.
I really think that

this weekend should be
about the three of us

hanging out together,

not us and 200 naked homos
crammed in a pool.

♪ All right ♪
[Music continues]

[Chattering]
Oh my God.

- Oh my God.
- Get me out of this fucking car.

Look at this.



Oh my God, Dom!

This place is fucking amazing!

All right. Honestly, it's
better than I thought it was.

I mean, wow. That's cool. Wow.

Who knew Lynn was so rich?

It's also Lynn's pride and joy,

- so no breaking stuff.
- Okay.

I gotta get myself
a sugar daddy.

[Mocking laugh] For that,
you get the bunk-bed room.

I guess I'm unpacking the car?

[Chuckles]

Of course I won't forget.

[Lynn speaks over phone]
Yeah.

No, no, I totally get it.

Yeah, windows locked.

Is that completely amazing
or totally hideous?

I think it's both, actually.
[Laughs]

Why is the hair so curly?

Well, what's up with
the owl flying in the back?

[Chuckles] I know.
Maybe just don't bring it up.

And no more sugar-daddy
stuff either, okay?

[Mimics click]

- Here we go.
- Oh my goodness.

- What is this?
- Oh yes.

- Is it a sprig of mint I see?
- Wow.

It is. I found
a bush in the back.

Oh my God, you're incredible.

See, this is it. This is
exactly what we need...

Fresh mint, peace, tranquility,

nature's majesty
just all around us.

- Right? Cheers.
- Yeah, cheers.

How about a little vodka, huh?

Shouldn't we raid
the liquor cabinet?

Don't even think about it.

Yeah, I think maybe...

You know, I think
maybe we should not

get completely wasted
this weekend.

I think maybe
we should make a pact,

right here and now,

that we should just
all not drink or...

- What?
- Please, God,

don't tell me this is some
kind of inter-fucking-vention.

No, it's not an intervention.

- Right, Dom?
- Dom, right?

You know, I actually
prefer you fucked up,

because it makes you way less
narcissistic. [Laughs]

But Patrick insisted that
we bring you out into nature.

I did not insist
on anything.

The two of you have been plotting and
planning like a couple of old witches.

No, we have not. That's not...
That's not what it is. Yeah.

It's not what you think.
I just feel like...

That's not what it is.

- It really isn't.
- Maybe just, like, let...

Maybe just not be drinking.

Well, I... I want you to know
that I'm completely fine.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Just 'cause I choose not to wallow
in the misery of my own making...

Oh.
Are... I don't wallow.

"Oh my God, what should I do with
Richie? Should I call Richie?"

"Should I text Richie?
Should I instagram Richie?"

- "Oh my God, he's just so cute."
- That sounds nothing like me.

Dom, does that sound
anything like me?

Your voice is
a little higher,

- but it's pretty good.
- You do know that getting drunk

and slapping some cock
around your face isn't

actually the worst
thing in the world.

Okay, I'm sorry I'm not you
and I don't find it attractive

to get completely fucked up and
drag some random person home,

and then fuck him so loudly that I
have to wear earplugs.

- It was just one time, okay?
- I can't even sleep.

- I can hear you through the walls...
- Ladies, ladies, please.

If we can't play nice,
we're going home.

No, you're right, Dom.
Let's just relax, breathe.

I genuinely brought us here,
'cause I thought

it would be good for the
three of us to get away.

This is not an intervention.

Mm-hmm. Honestly, I need this
weekend, even if you don't.

- Why do you need it?
- I just do.

Gee, I didn't see
that there was cherries.

- Do you want a cherry?
- Sure.

Cherry? Let's just
enjoy the cherries

and minty tea that Dom has so
kindly made for us... [Chuckles]

And, you know, take in
this beautiful view.

[Spits]

So, actually, when the
native Americans came through

this area of the woods, they
didn't spend any time here,

and they left
because they were afraid

that the trees were so tall
that there was ghosts in them.

[Sighs] Over 1,000 years
and it's just stood there,

knowing exactly
what its purpose was...

To stand and grow
and look good while doing it.

This would be a great
tree to get fucked against.

God, why do you always do that?

There's more to life
than sex, you know.

Sorry.

[Sighs]

[Kisses]

Now what?

Hike back again?

[Music playing faintly]

[Knocks]

Hey.
What are you up to?

Well, I was trying to be
respectful of Lynn's privacy,

but then I found a photo album,

- so fuck it.
- Oh shit.

I think I only agreed to this so
I could snoop around this place

- without him here.
- What are you looking for?

I don't know.
Something that helps me

get to know him a bit better.
Lynn's not big on sharing.

That sounds
like someone I know.

The thing is, I really do want
to get to know him better,

which is pretty
fucking unusual for me.

And I get that he might not
want to talk about back then,

- and about Brian, but...
- oh my God, they look so handsome

and happy.
[Scoffs] Sorry.

No, it's fine. They do.

Fuck.

It's so... sad.

Yeah, but at the same time,

it has to be important that he
talks to me about this stuff.

- Doesn't it?
- Well, "happiness..."

"Not in another place
but this place,"

"not for another hour
by this hour."

- Really?
- That's Walt Whitman.

[Scoffs]
That's a great quote.

I don't care who it is.
Oh God. [Chuckles]

God! Maybe I've jut forgotten what
it's like to have a boyfriend.

But doesn't that feel good,
to have a boyfriend?

To be able to call
him your boyfriend?

Can you even call a 59-year-old
man your boyfriend?

You can call him
whatever you want.

Yeah, you're right. God, I
need to calm the fuck down.

[Sighing]

- You okay?
- Yeah.

[Music continues]

You're... good about
Richie now, right?

Yeah, I guess.
I mean...

I regret the way that I dealt with
everything, and I miss him, but...

Do you ever do things
that surprise you?

What do you mean?
You know, are you ever...

Shocked by your own behavior?

Are we still talking
about Richie?

[Sighs] Forget it.
It's not important.

I actually think that I might
go for a walk right now

before we hit
the monopoly board,

because I heard a woodpecker outside.
I wanna go check it out.

A woodpecker?

You know, they
actually have them here.

So will you keep
an ear out for Agustín?

Well, what should
I be listening for?

Well, if he's masturbating,
you can just leave him.

Ugh! But if he's
crying, come get me.

[Chuckles] If it's
both at the same time...

You're on your own. And that's
been known to happen on occasion.

- Yikes.
- Don't tell him I told you that.

[Chuckles]
I'll see you later.

Okay.
[Sighs deeply]

[Music continues]

Oh! Oriental Avenue.
Pay up, motherfucker.

No, that's racist.
I'm not paying your rent.

No, it's the street
that's racist, not me.

Not that you're even
going to pay rent, anyway.

[All shout]

I'm gonna give you
another chance. Go again.

All right, here we go, Paddy.
[Dice clatter]

- What? Are we turning?
- Paddle on the other side now.

But don't we wanna go that way?

We are! I'm just...

We do want to go that way.
I'm turning the boat around.

So why are we going backwards?
[Chuckles]

Oh my God.
Gayest beach ever.

I had no idea
this beach was here.

I had no idea there was so
much nakedness on this beach.

We have arrived.

I really think
we should just stop.

Paddy, even you could
get laid if we stopped.

No, no, let's just keep going.

We're honestly not going to make
it to the end of the river.

No, come on. We're going
to pull into this beach.

Onward ho. We're just
going to go forward.

- Paddy, just relax.
- Eyes on the prize.

- God, this is beautiful.
- Dom, I think we found our flow here.

- Right?
- Oh my God.

There are some men up here.

Smell that testosterone.

We're hitting bear beach, baby.

- That's a lot of man.
- Hey!

- Hey there!
- Do you know him?

No, not at all.

Come party with the big boys.

Sorry, I'm on orders
to be good.

With fur like that,
there's no way you play good.

[Laughs]
Come to the woods tonight.

Bring the clone
and the seal pup.

- Everyone's welcome.
- "Seal pup"?

Where in the woods?

Faeries will guide you.

- What is a seal pup?
- I think a seal pup is

someone hairless
and a little chunky.

Wait, he's calling me chunky?

♪
♪ [Guys laughing]

All we need now is a shower,

some bug spray, a cold drink,

and then we'll be ready
for board games.

- Again? Board games?
- Yeah.

[Laughs] Hello, bitches.

- What the fuck?
- Yeah, exactly.

What the fuck?
[Laughter]

So you guys thought you were
gonna have

your little sausage party
without me?

- Well, you were working.
- I was working,

I was, then everybody died,

and now I get to get fucked up.

Oh my God, Lynn's...
It's not true.

Lynn's liquor cabinet...

- Fantastic. Fantastic.
- Jesus, Doris.

Oh no.
Oh, come on.

Here, I'll hold it for you.
I think that dame Gladioli

of the Castro can afford
to buy more booze, all right?

- How did you even get in?
- Agustín left his door open.

I kind of... I flew in
like Peter Pan. Mmm!

Okay, how do you even know
it was my door?

'Cause it smelled like misery,

and I also found this
on your bunk bed.

- Agustín.
- Busted.

[Both, mockingly] Agustín!

[Laughs] Check yourself
before you wreck yourself.

What's happening?

Either clue or parcheesi. Yes.

- That's a fucking joke.
- No.

Okay? There is no way that Dom
just paid $200 for a taxi...

Thank you...
To get me here for that.

No. Clue's
a really fun game.

Miss Scarlet, Colonel
Mustard, Professor Plum.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

- The wrench.
- Oh, stop talking, stop talking.

We're not... oh, the wrench!
I forgot about that.

We are not doing that, okay?

- We're not doing that. We're going out.
-Yes!

We're going out.
All right.

I'm sorry.
That painting...

Of Lynn?

- Dom...
- Oof.

What the... that's...
How do you...

[Laughs] No words, really.

You know what I mean?
Just kinda...

Let's... no, let's just
be quiet and think about it.

[Laughter]

♪
♪
This music is so disorienting.

Is it coming from behind
us or in front of us?

I can't tell. Maybe we
need to retrace our steps.

There better be dykes here.
I'm like catnip for dykes.

[Shouts] Beautiful faggots!

Oh my God. Tell us, tell us, are
we heading in the right direction?

Only you can truly
answer that question.

- Oh my God. Is this happening?
- Look deep inside your soul

and tell me what you see.

- Don't answer it. Don't answer it.
- You know I have no soul.

I think tonight we just need
directions to the party.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

[Laughter]
So you're gonna go straight.

You're going to
see some trash cans,

take a left, and there is
the promised land

where all your dreams
will come true.

- Oh my God.
- Thank you. Wow.

Thank you,
kind and beautiful faerie.

I have to touch your
nipple for one moment.

Touch it, touch it.

- This is for you.
- Oh.

- Let it light up your life.
- Thank you.

You're faerie welcome.
[Laughs]

It's a flashlight
and a glow stick.

- Listen, don't be pissed.
- Agustín, you said no...

- I said no drugs. What are you doing?
- What is that?

- Thank you.
- You don't know what it is.

- I trust Agustín.
- What is it?

Oh, that's so sweet.
It's just Molly.

Okay, that's what we used
to call x, right? T hat's x?

Yup.
I'm in! I'm in.

Oh God, it's like 1994.

- Here we go again.
- Everyone's got one?

I don't think
I've had sex since 1994.

Hanging out with your guys,
not so good for my vagina.

Okay, promise you'll
take care of me if I have

a heart attack or get
gang-raped or something.

Of course. I'm a nurse.
I'll take care of you,

and I'll be gang-raping you.
I'll be the one doing it.

- Okay.
- You're in a safe place.

As long as we're doing
something together, right?

Yes. Cheers, cheers,
cheers, cheers.

Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Oh my God.

♪
♪
Dom: Mmm!

I just did Molly.
I can't believe it.

You didn't actually
swallow it, did you?

I did.

- You're not supposed to swallow it?
- Of course!

- You swallowed it, right?
- Of course!

- For real? Yes, yes, yes.
- You're not fucking with me?

[Laughter]
Oh my God, isn't it fun?

Buddy, you're having fun?

Looks pretty cool.

Yeah.
This is incredible.

I'm so glad we came.
That faerie wasn't lying.

- Dom, are you feeling it yet?
- A little but not really.

I think it's just like...
This is surreal, anyway.

The promised land,
for one night only.

I'm trying to figure out
what I'm looking at.

- What am I seeing?
- You'll be fine, Paddy.

- Okay.
- Just stick close.

- Okay.
- I'm not gonna leave you.

[Laughing] ♪ to hear you
now, to see you now ♪

♪ I can look outside
myself, I must examine ♪

Hi, sweetie.

♪ And look inside ♪

These are my friends.

♪ To see you now,
to hear you now ♪

♪ I look outside myself ♪

♪ I must examine my breath ♪

♪ and look inside ♪

♪ because I feel blind,
because I feel blind ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ we're...
We're lost in music ♪

♪ feel so alive ♪

When will I know
if it's working?

I'm kinda feeling something,
but I can't tell.

Trust me. You'll know, buddy.
You'll know.

♪ ♪

Listen, I want you to know
that I do appreciate

everything...

Letting me move in, the rent...

[Laughs] This weekend.

Come on. Believe it or not,
we are just trying to help.

I know you are.
I'll tell you what,

if or when I need it,
I promise I'll come to you.

I don't care who you go to,
as long as you go to somebody.

What I need you to understand
is that you and I,

- we do things differently.
- What does that mean?

Well, I deal with...

With feeling
like a shitty person

by being bad.
You do it by being good.

♪ Caught in a trap ♪

What makes you think
I've been good?

Haven't you been?

I don't feel
like I've been good,

certainly not recently.

Why not recently?

♪ Lost in the music ♪

- No.
- Oh? Oh?

I've been wanting to confess
something to you for a while now,

and I'm not quite sure
why I haven't told you.

- Uh-huh.
- Fuck.

- Whoa. Oh fuck.
- You okay?

Okay, okay. Breathe.
Yeah, yeah, breathe.

- Okay. All right, all right.
- Oh shit.

Gimme those eyes, baby.
Yeah, let it in.

Whoa.
How you feel?

Yes. All right, you know what
we're gonna do right now?

What?
We're gonna fucking dance.

- Okay. Let's go dancing.
- Yeah?

Dom!

Dom!

♪ ♪

- Look who's here.
- Hey.

[Laughs] Okay.

♪ Love is good to me ♪

Oh shit.

♪ ♪

♪ oh yeah ♪
♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ caught in a trap ♪

♪ caught up, caught up
♪
♪ no turning back ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ lost up in our music ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ feel so alive ♪
♪ I feel so free ♪

♪ I quit my 9 to 5 ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ we're lost in music,
lost in music ♪

♪ caught in a trap ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪
♪ live my fantasy ♪

♪ no turning back ♪

♪ lost in music ♪

♪ we're lost in music,
lost in music ♪

♪ lost in music,
lost in music ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ lost in music,
feel so alive ♪

♪ oh yeah ♪
♪ lost in,
I quit my 9 to 5 ♪

♪ lost in music,
we're lost in music ♪

♪ lost in music ♪
♪ harmony set me free ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ feel so alive ♪
♪ I feel so free ♪

♪ I quit ♪
♪ I quit my 9 to 5 ♪

♪ we're lost in music ♪

♪ we're lost in music,
lost in music ♪

[Music playing] Hey!

Can you hear me?

What are you doing?

Right now.

Yes, right now!

- Come on. It's gonna be so cold.
- You said you were hot.

Fuck it. All right.

[Grunts]

[Distant music playing]

I'm gonna beat you into the stream.
[Laughs]

[Panting]

[Laughing]

Whoo!

[Shouts]

[Moaning]

Is that your dad?

What?
This guy.

Is that your dad?
[Laughs]

No, that's not my dad.

This is my boyfriend.

Oh.
Mmm.

Is he still that hot?

Yeah. Hotter. Why? Do you
want me to leave it open?

- Yeah. Open that back up.
- [Laughs] Fuck you.

Does he mind you
fucking around?

No.

He really doesn't.

Lucky you.
[Chuckles]

Lucky for both of us.

[Both laugh]

Are you...
So, are you single?

Yeah, but only recently.

Oh, so you're fucked up.

Pretty fucking much.

Yeah, it turns out I...

Loved him more than I thought.

Don't worry about it, honey.
Happens to us all.

So what do you do with your life
now to make it at least bearable?

Ooh. Well,

I was a mediocre artist.

[Scoffs] I gave that up...

Which is a good thing
for the world, I think.

Yeah.

So I suppose now
I guess I do... nothing.

Nothing at all.
[Chuckles]

How does that make you feel?

[Exhales] [Laughs] No.

No, no, no, don't do it.

I promise,
no more questions. I swear.

What do you do?

I work for a homeless
shelter that supports

gay and transgender teens.

What? Get the fuck
out of here.

- Really?
- It's me.

Call me Saint Eddie, the
hairy-ass mother of the mission.

You can drown me now,
Saint Eddie.

No. I wanna hang out with you
a little bit more first,

- and then maybe I'll drown you.
- Deal.

Okay.

Drown time. [Laughs] No, no!

Oh shit.

Let me see.

Oh, cool tattoo.

Thanks.

[Distant music playing]
[Car approaching]

Hey, handsome.

Hello.

Good of you to drop by.

This had better be worth it.

Oh, it's gonna be worth it.

[Both laugh]

Come here.
[Laughs]

I want you to fuck me.

[Laughs]

- I'm not kidding.
- What? What, here in the woods?

Patrick, you're so fucking hot.

You are making my head explode.

- Do you have a condom?
- Uh-huh.

Of course.
Against this tree.

Oh fuck.

[Whispers] Hmm?

[Groaning]

Oh fuck.

[Moaning]

♪ ♪

Okay.

So we've done it
on the floor at work.

Yup. We did it in the storeroom.

Yeah. I tossed you off
in the conference room.

You gave me a blowjob
in the breakroom.

- I did.
- Yeah.

You think we're ever actually gonna
get to do it in a real bed sometime?

I hope so.

Do that again.

Maybe it's the Molly,
but I can feel it in my toes.

Oh...

- Hey, Paddy.
- Yes!

- All right.
- Morning, boys.

- [Chuckles] We were worried.
- Thank you.

You so fucked that hot guy
in the cap, didn't you?

Well, I finally did it
in the woods.

Yes!

Agustín made a new friend, too.

Yeah, I did. He's cute.

A big bear who cares
about trans people

and has a house in Virginia.

Oh, I've always wanted
to visit the South.

[Laughs]
A "house in Virginia"...

- HIV positive.
- Oh.

And Dom popped the cherry
of his open relationship, too.

- Well!
- Yes, I did,

and it was fun.
[Both laugh]

- No blood or tears.
- Good.

What about Doris?

Last I saw, Doris was
on the back of a jet ski,

topless.
[Laughs]

I think we may have
lost her to the lesbians.

So, um...

Okay, I did
have sex last night,

but I did not have sex
with the cute guy in the hat.

I had sex with Kevin.

Kevin, Kevin?

I called him and he came up, and he
fucked me in the butt against a tree.

[Scoffs] What the fuck?

Yeah, and it's happened
a few times now.

The first time was
the night of the pop-up

when Richie and I broke up.

Certainly not
my proudest moment.

[Sighs] Why didn't
you tell us, Paddy?

- He's still got the boyfriend, right?
- Yeah.

And I thought
this weekend, I'd...

You know, be able
to put a stop to it, but...

I can't.

Fuck.

- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.

I don't know. Can we just
not talk about it now?

Tomorrow you can tell me everything
I probably already know, but...

Now can we just
all watch the sunrise and...

Pretend that everything's
gonna turn out fine?

That is okay with me.
Okay.

Me too.

♪ this is the day ♪

♪ your life
will surely change ♪

♪ this is the day ♪

♪ when things fall into place ♪

♪ you could've done anything ♪

♪ if you'd wanted ♪

♪ and all your friends
and family ♪

♪ think that you're lucky ♪

♪ but the side of you
they'll never see ♪

♪ is when you're left alone
with the memories ♪

♪ that hold your life ♪

♪ together like... glue ♪