Looking (2014–2015): Season 1, Episode 7 - Looking for a Plus-One - full transcript

So this is the show?

This is what you're
putting up there?

I've been staring at them
for, like, ten days now,

you know, trying to stay
objective about it,

but, you know,
it's really hard.

I mean, that's
Franklin right there.

I've never seen
Frank like this before.

I mean, this is intense.

Okay, you know what?
Forget it.

God, what are we
supposed to say?

I'm sorry, it's--
It's a little strange for me.



You guys are just too freaked out
about your own stuff.

- Right, okay.
-Freaked out about the pop-up.

- Make it about us.
-Freaked out about the wedding.

Just turn it right around.
What are you talking about?

Come on, you're not freaked out
about the wedding'!

You're not freaked out
about your mom meeting Richie?

Listen, you fucker,
you said you were going to

stop talking shit
about Richie.

I'm not talking shit
about Richie.

Come on, we all know
how Dana can be.

Okay, I know that,
but you mentioned Richie.

Like, please stop
talking about him.

What did I say about Richie?
I'm talking about your mom.

Okay, I am actually
freaking out right now,



so I'm going to
get another beer.

All right, will you
get me another beer too?

Sure.

He's incredibly high right now.

- He's like on the bug out.
-I know.

Look, you hired that guy.

You paid him to have sex
with your boyfriend

and then you shot it.

Now you’re going to
show that to the world.

I mean, we're your friends.
What do you expect us to say?

Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)

Jesus, man.

What...

What am I going to do?

DANA: I'm starting to get worried
about the traffic.

It's gonna be fine, Mom.

And I'm sorry about my phone.

Are you sure you have time
to stop by the hotel?

I'd hate to be
without it today'

but I don't want you
to be late for the photos.

I'm not going to be late
for the photos, okay.

I'll stop by. I'll get your phone.
It's going to go so quick.

How's Megan?

Oh, she looks beautiful,
just lovely.

-Good.
- I'm so glad

she didn't go for
that yellow dress.

That would have been
a terrible mistake.

Right.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, come on.

Where are you?
We're waiting for you.

I know.
I'm on my way.

Well, we're really excited
to meet your...

friend.

The wedding planner was thrown

to have to deal with
a last minute plus one,

but I made sure
that they squeezed in

an extra chair
at our table for Richard.

His name's Richie.

Is it not short for Richard?

No, Mom, it's just Richie.

Oh, do I need to change it
on his place card?

There's a card?
(DOORBELL)

Look, okay.
I got to go right now.

- My phone!
- I'll talk to you later.

Yeah, I'll get your phone.

Oh, my God, you shaved.

Yeah, you like it?

I love it.

Come on, we're late.
Let's go.

I just-- I got to show you.
I--

- I spilled some coffee.
-Oh, shit!

Yeah, the bus driver
was driving like a maniac,

but if I keep my jacket
closed like this--

No, come on.
I'll get you a new shirt.

- You can't tell.
-It's okay. Come on.

All right, you know, I'm just
going to go with a white one.

- Are you sure?
-Yeah.

- I don't know. This is--
-The other way.

I'm such an idiot.

No, it looks good.
It looks good with your...

new face.

- You okay, Pato?
-Yeah, totally.

- Totally excited.
-For real?

I just got off the Skype
with my mom.

Oh, okay.

But she's totally
excited to meet you.

You know you say
"totally" a lot

-when you get nervous?
-I do?

- Totally.
-Okay.

Give me your arm.
Here we go.

- Okay.
-And that side, and that side.

- Where's my tie?
-I got it here. Let's do this.

Come on, we're late.

Hold on. You got to
button your pants though.

Oh, no, come on.

Oh, shit!

- What is it?
I didn't turn my wheels.

- Fuck.
-Oh, God.

- I can pay for half of it.
-No, no.

Don't be silly.
I borrowed the car from Dom.

Fifty-eight fucking dollars!

Jesus!

(ENGINE STARTS UP)

DOM: Okay, so here it is,
on the corner.

HUGO: Does that say
Punjab Chinese?

DOM: Yes, it says
Punjab Chinese.

DORIS: Bombay meets Shanghai,
I like it.

It's fusion.

Anyway, Lynn's friends
with the owner.

- So they closed it in March...
-Jesus.

...but they have the lease
until next week.

What?

So we get to rush in
and rush out again.

(KNOCKING)

Anyway, everything's here,
which is awesome

because we just need to
freshen it up a bit.

- Gotcha.
-You know?

It's a one-night-only affair.

Oh, hey.

- Lynn, this is Doris.
-Hey, hi.

- Hi.
-Hugo.

No, it's not
just another pop-up.

LYNN: It's the beginning of
a Portuguese culinary revolution.

HUGO: Whoa.

So...

When are people supposed
to be eating in here?

In about 28 hours.

Excellent, okay.

-(HUGO LAUGHS)
-We're going to need some Swiffers.

- Just a minute, okay?
-MAN: You're blocking traffic.

I normally hate people like me,
but it's only gonna take a moment.

Okay, here he comes
right now. See?

- He's on his way.
-You gotta move.

(CAR HORN HONKING)
This is loading only.

You don't have the--
Where's the phone?

The front desk is saying they
don't have your mom's phone.

Are you serious?

Or she wouldn't give it to me
'cause I don't look like a Murray.

- What are you doing?
-Jesus.

I promise, just five more minutes.
Here, take this.

- Yo, man. Hey! What are you doing?
-Richie, stay!

(MULTIPLE HORNS HONKING)

Hey, Pauline.
Agustin.

Listen. This--

I hate this,
but it's just not--

It's not coming together.

So I'm going to have to
bow out of the show.

Sorry.

I hope you have enough time
to find somebody.

Okay, yeah.
Thanks, bye.

WOMAN: Acquaint yourself
with the basic dynamics

of a real bowtie.

- A standard bowtie consists of--
- What is that?

What is this voice?
What is this video?

- It's so cheesy.
-I don't know.

It's some weird
YouTube Playboy thing.

Okay, you know,
cold hands.

You know what?
Let's just forget the bowtie.

- I got it.
-Let's forget the bowtie.

I got it.
I like a challenge.

PATRICK: I need to look at the phone
to look at the Google maps.

Could you just stop
with the bow-- Shit.

When I say stop,
I mean stop!

Okay, please.

Okay, you know what?
Pull over.

No, I'm just trying not
to get us killed right now.

I get it.
Can you just pull over?

Okay, let me gel off
the bridge first, all right?

What?
No, don't get out of the car.

What are you doing?

Come on.

Come on, get out.

- You need to chill out.
-I'm chilled out, okay?

Here, smoke this.
I'll drive.

You can relax, okay?

You brought pot
to my sister's wedding?

To meet my family?

- Yeah, I did.
-What the fuck are you doing?

I'm not gonna smoke
a joint right now.

All right, you know what?

I told you
this was too soon.

I don't need
to go to this thing.

- Go, have a good time.
-What, you're leaving?

- Yeah.
-No, come on, Richie.

Get back in the car.

Richie!

I'm not going to follow you.
We're already late.

Don't.
I'll be fine.

Shit.

(TRAFFIC BUZZ)

Listen, I had the shop make up
some options for the tables.

- We have a plumbing issue.
-I know.

I got a backed up
prep sink over here.

I called the plumbers.
They're on their way.

You know, I also
was thinking

maybe we should
paint these columns.

Well, then it will
smell like paint.

Well, I can get some industrial fans
in here for overnight.

It's not worth it.

We need to deal with
basic kitchen function,

and getting word out, and--

Well, then, if you could
just make a call

- on the flowers.
-Flowers? Jesus, Lynn.

Are you listening?

I'm sorry.

- It's just--
-No, I'll--

You know, I'll leave
the flowers here

and then whenever's
a good time,

you can...

Okay.

So you think
it was food poisoning?

Yeah, or something like that.

He actually started
to feel a little bit better,

but I told him it wasn't
worth it to risk it.

No, not if it
was food poisoning.

It's a bummer too,
because he was totally excited to...

meet you and Dad
and Megan.

Oh, she's going
to be disappointed.

Okay.

I am not going to get
upset about this grass.

The Langels have already
made a comment about it.

Well, the Langels make
a comment about everything.

Apparently, the church gardener
is being treated

for prostate cancer,

but it's just going
to look terrible in the pictures.

Well, this church needs
to get its priorities straight.

Don't they know this
is a Murray wedding?

What the hell is he doing here?

Who's that?

Is that Richie?

No.

Hi.

Hey.

Kevin, this is my mom, Dana.

- Hey, Mom.
-Hello.

- Nice to meet you.
-You too.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)
Okay, eyes right here, guys.

Good.
(CLICKING)

- This is so crazy.
-Yeah, this is really strange.

I just thought it was weird

we both had weddings
on the same weekend,

but you had your sister's.
And we had Gus's.

- Yeah, and Gus and Jon...?
-Used to be lovers.

- What?
-Yeah, it's a big secret. I'm joking.

- They're best buds--
-God, you can't say that.

I can do what I want.
Best buddies from Dartmouth.

But I only met Gus
the other week.

Really?
He's very sweet.

- He's always-- Isn't he sweet?
-Yeah.

So where's Richie?

He, um...

I--

- Ooh.
-I kind of fucked up.

Yeah, in a big way.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

It's good to see
a friendly face.

Yeah, it's good
to see you too.

- Yeah.
-Hey, Patty.

Will you please come
take a photo with the bride?

Will you excuse me? I'm going to go
take some pictures now.

No, hang on.
Hang on a second.

This is not going to work
for the bowtie, is it?

Can you do this?

Yeah.

Family. It can mess
with your head, can't it?

Yeah.

Whenever I go home,

I just regress
to being 14 again.

I stay in my room, sulking,

playing Tetris.

Ooh! Slick as fuck.

- You're a lifesaver.
-Yeah, go get 'em.

- All right.
-I'm here.

Sorry. You taking a picture?

Glad lo see you could
finally make it.

Yeah, Dad,
good to see you too.

Can we get the brother
to line up

-with the other groomsmen there?
-Oh, yeah, right.

Back here?

- Just step back over there.
-Okay, sure.

- All right, can you see me?
-Yeah.

If I can see you,
you should be able to see me.

- Okay.
-All right.

Looking good.

A little bit I think.
What if I check?

You got a bit red there.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Everybody's happy?
Yeah?

Come on, babe.
We're almost there.

So I called Pauline
about the show.

- What?
-Could you slow down, baby?

Please.
You're walking so fast.

Thanks.

I pulled out of the show.

Yeah, right.
What, just now?

This morning.

Are you serious?

Yeah, you said
you didn't want me

showing the pictures anyway.

So I figured...

I had to get you that gig.

I begged Pauline
to let you in.

- What, you-- Wait.
-What are you doing?

- You said she asked you.
-Oh, yeah, well, she mentioned it.

- Then I had to organize it.
-Begged her to-- To what?

To let your loser boyfriend put his
fucking finger paintings on a wall?

Oh. Calm down.
You needed help. You were stuck.

All right, and I knew you weren't
going to let me give you money.

This is what you've been doing
since I moved in. Don't you see that?

- What I've been doing?
-I don't need you to fucking save me.

I need you to...
just be there for me.

Be there for you?

I fucked a guy on camera
so that you could make an.

- Does that not count for anything?
-I’ve seen the pictures, okay.

You didn't do that for me.

This wasn't some charitable
an donation, okay.

- You were in fucking heaven.
-Holy fucking shit.

- You're jealous that I got with CJ?
-No!

I'm not jealous.
That's not what it's about.

Can you even fucking hear yourself?
You set it up!

That's not what it's about, okay?
Could you just listen to me?

Were you just using me
and him to get off?

No, listen.
I paid him.

You paid him?

You paid a whore to fuck me?

How much?

It's $220...

...an hour.

You can't even pay rent.

I know.
I know it's fucked up.

I've been nothing
but supportive of your shit,

and you've been lying to me
since you moved in.

I want to fucking
tear your eyes out right now.

I just...

Fucking asshole!

So hit me.
Hit me.

Hi, welcome.
Have a seat.

Eat your face off.
That's perfect.

- See?
-Awesome.

It's like, casual.
You know what I'm after.

Just be you, basically.

So if I see a cockroach,
I can scream?

- You can scream.
-Wait a second.

Dom, you're going to be
out front as well, yes?

No, I'm going to be in back.

It's fine.

Doris used to hostess
back in the day, right?

Yeah, in high school,
Marie Callender's.

I was fired.

I'm-- I'm sorry,
but I think that's a mistake.

You need to be out front.

Okay, hold on.
Guys!

How many times?
What did I say?

I said communal, right?

So that means no two-tops,

no four-tops.

Just like this,
and like this,

-and like this, all right?
-A moment outside?

MAN: All right, kids,
move the tables.

Part of what we're
selling here is you.

You're the main attraction.

And Taj too, of course,

but he's got to stay back there
or no one gets to eat.

Look, you know I appreciate
your funding this.

- Funding?
-But when it comes to how it's run,

I don't need you
taking care of me

and watching over me
like I'm some teenager.

- Teenager, huh?
-Yeah.

Hadn't thought of it like that,

but now you say it...

Here are the keys to the car, son.

- Don't stay out too late.
-Oh, come on.

Lynn, I didn't say
I wanted you to leave--

I am your partner in--

In this.

Or is there something else
that's on your mind?

Are you angry with me?

Okay.

Look, you're right.

Tomorrow is yours...

So I'm going to go.

- You need to do what you need to do.
-Come on.

- No, it's okay.
-Come on.

You just--

Lynn.

(SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS
IN BACKGROUND)

PATRICK: You see that guy
over there?

The hot jock gone to seed?

Yeah, that's Cody Heller.

He's cute.

I grew up across
the street from him.

Our dads are best friends.

And when we were home,
he was always really cool.

But then at school,
he would completely ignore me.

Total... cunt.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, that word sounds really weird
coming out of your mouth.

You say it all the time.

Yeah, but I'm English.
We can make it work.

Really? That's like a rule?

- It's not a rule. It's a fact.
-You can say it...

Okay.

So, I'm making Jon
propose to you.

- Wow.
-Yeah.

Mainly because I've
not been to a gay wedding

and that needs to happen yesterday.

- So...
-Don't worry, I told her

we're still way too young
and in gay years for that to happen.

Correct.

Come on, don't you want
to snatch this guy up?

You guys are both
really handsome.

You should just--

Oh, yeah, yes.

Maybe one day.

Darling.

And then Patrick
could be the bridesmaid.

Oh, wow, thank you.
Very funny.

I was thinking more the flower girl.

Oh, fuck you.

All right, flower girl.

- I got to go.
-Okay.

Hey, what's up?
It's me.

Listen, I am really
sorry about today.

I could still
come pick you up.

We'd be back
in time for cake...

Which is totally not a cake.

"Totally."
Hm.

I guess
I'm feeling nervous.

I wonder why.

Um...

Call me if you want.

At least it's out now.

You know?

You know, when
I was with CJ,

when he was
on top of me--

he was fucking me--

I looked over at you,
just outside of it,

and you were just--
Just watching me.

That's all we've become.

You over there.

Me, just...
trying to change it.

I'm done. I just--

You got to get your shit out.

My shit?

All of it.

I don't want to live
with you anymore.

MAN: Before we all dig in here,

I just want to, first of all,
thank all of you for coming.

And a little toast
to our lovely Megan,

our not so very little Megan,

but I remember
when you were little.

Oh, yeah?

(GUESTS LAUGH)

Like the time you would
take your brother there

and dress him up
as the Little Mermaid

and then drag him through the mall
with all your girlfriends.

(LAUGHTER)

It's hard to believe
you're that same little girl.

But...

we particularly like the choice
you've made here in Gus.

The good thing about it,
Gus loves to golf,

so I've got someone I can take

to the invitational
with me every year.

And the really
nice thing about it is

he has his own money.

- So thank you, Silicon Valley.
-(LAUGHTER)

Cheers.
ALL: Cheers.

(GLASSES CLINK)

(SLOW JAZZ SONG PLAYS)

(CHEERING)

(WHOOPING)

(LOVE SHACK BY THE B-52'S
PLAYS)

Hey.

You okay?

I just needed some air.

Yeah, me, too.

Oh, the chicken was dry.

Good thing you didn't
have the chicken.

Yeah, I know.
The salmon was pretty good.

(SIGHS)

So I'm sorry you didn't
get to meet Richie tonight.

Yes, that was a shame.

Would've been
the first time

you've ever met
a boyfriend of mine.

I know, yes.

And I hope he's
feeling better now.

(EXHALES)

I don't know, I think maybe
you should feel a little relieved.

I don't think you'd really
like him very much.

And how do you know that?

Well...

He's... Mexican, first of all.

All right.

And he doesn't really
have any money.

Well, neither did your father
when I met him.

He was getting his Masters.

Yeah, well...

Richie's not going
to college any time soon.

He cuts hair
in a shitty barber shop

and he has no real ambition
to do other than just that

and play the bass guitar.

Sounds like a real catch.

Yeah.

I knew that's
how you'd feel.

Well, now how do you
expect me to respond

after a description
like that?

You're the real reason
he's not here tonight.

Richie's not sick.

I was a jerk to him today

because I was so nervous
about introducing him to you

because I know he's not the kind
of person you want me to be with.

And what kind
of person is that?

Someone like Kevin or Jon.

And what's wrong with that?

They seem lovely.

They seem just like you.

You don't get it,
do you, Mom?

Everyone I'm ever with,

every guy I've ever
been on a date with,

I judge him based on what
you're gonna think of him.

And it's really fucking me up.

I see.

Patrick.

I know
I don't say everything

you'd like me
to say all the time...

...and I know I had problems...

...when you first told us.

But I've come a long way.

And I can't help wanting
what's best for you.

And I don't think
you can blame me for Richie.

If he's not here...

...that's on you, sweetie.

Is that a pot cookie?

Well, it's actually
a marshmallow krispie treat.

It's legal now in Colorado.

Oh, you want some?

No, Mom.

It really helps since
I went off the Lexapro.

I didn't know
you were on Lexapro.

Well, Patrick,

if you asked me how I was doing
every now and then...

...you'd know.

(FOOTSTEPS)

Franklin?

Frank?

- Hey.
-Oh, hey.

- You okay?
-Yeah.

I'm super.

- What's happened?
-Oh, nothing.

Just today.

I used to like weddings.

- Jon's drunk.
-Oh, great.

Yeah, no,
I can't stand him when he's drunk.

Are you
a little bit drunk?

Yeah.

But, see,
I'm a nice drunk.

Yeah, that's good to know.

What?

I was going to kiss you.

What?

I'm kidding.

Okay, 'cause that would be--

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXHALES)

(EXHALES LOUDLY)

So what do you think?
Can I pull this off?

I think it is going
to be

the finest night for all
these foodie fuckers in this town.

Are you kidding?

But it ain't gonna happen
without help, darling.

Okay, are you hearing me?

'Cause some people
really do just want to help.

Those are my favorite.

Hey.

Forty grand for this.

You're...

You're not going to want
one of these, are you?

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Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)