Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 2, Episode 3 - Bubble Trouble - full transcript

("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)
♫ Worlds away from anyone

- They look so innocent,

floating about all round and shimmery,

hiding out at kid's parties,
landing on your nose.

But there's a dangerous
side to bubbles too.

Bubbles can get you into
some serious trouble.

- What are the charges?

Joy Leonard, embezzling.

Barbara Leonard, resist
arrest, assault police.

What about these two?
- Impersonation racket.

- And then there was
the business with the bubble.



I better fill you in on a few of the gaps.

Vicki and I were blissed
out in our own little world

where no one else existed except us.

- You hang up.

- No.

You hang up.

It was like we were living in a bubble.

Our very own private bubble of happiness.

- No, you hang up.

- No, you hang up.

- No.

You hang up.

- You win.

But Vicki and I were so
caught up in ourselves,



we had no idea that people around us

were finding us hard to stomach.

But that's the trouble with bubbles.

You can't see what's going on,

on the outside, or how your behaviour

is affecting other
people in the real world.

Even Sarge, whose job
description is my Dad,

says he's supposed to be completely

obsessed with my happiness.

Well, even he was struggling with

our bubble-related behaviour.

- Pardon me.

- Are you feeling okay, Sarge?

- Well, sick is
probably too strong a word,

it's more a--
- Bilious?

- Yeah.

- Meanwhile, Mum
was also trapped in a bubble.

Snacks, Sarge, after-school snacks.

- Expecting company are we?

- Mum's bubble was
her own little world of worry.

After two weeks at Angelus High,

and not one play date,

Mum was worried Phillip was
never going to have any friends.

- If I cook it, they will come.

- You could say that Mum was

still a little bit scarred
by her own school experience.

- You should be outside playing
with the other children,

it's such a lovely day.

- But as much as she wanted them,

Mum didn't have any friends to play with.

- It's okay.

- And she didn't want

things to be the same for Phillip.

- More tea?
- No thanks, love.

- The next day Sarge and Snowy

prepared to welcome a new friend.

- Got a good feeling about
this new officer, Snowy.

Bit of feminine energy around here

is just what we need to balance things up.

- She cooks a dense cake, does Joy.

- She does indeed, now.

Flower on the side of the plate,

nice touch or too much?

- Not sure Sarge, they're
from out the front.

People walk their dogs past there.

- Right okay, we'll leave that then.

Let's have a quick run through.

Right.

Welcome her, thunders
of fort and of fleet.

Welcome her, thundering
cheer of the street.

Welcome her, all things
youthful and sweet,

scatter the blossom under her feet,

break happy land into earlier flowers,

make music, bird, in
the new buttered bowers,

blazen your mottos of blessing and prayer,

welcome her, welcome
her, all that is ours.

No Snowy, you have to come in on the--

Constable Waddle?

- Depends who's asking.

- I'm Snowy, he's Sarge.

And we've got a cake.

- Course you do.

Tea cake so hard I'm
going to break my teeth.

Poems so bad I'm gonna throw up.

Ha.

I didn't come down in
the last shower fellas.

I've been the new girl before.

I can spot a prank a mile off.

- It's a shame you've been
in the city, Constable.

You have been trained to expect the worst.

Granted, that cake is firm,

but it was baked with love.

And this verse,

if listened to without fear of trickery,

is a herald of genuine goodwill.

- Are you for real?

- 100%.

- Over at the Eagleston's,

Reverend Egg was struggling
to make sense of things too.

Since Egg's mum left, it kind
of burst their family bubble,

and Rev was at a bit of a loose end.

- Wow.

- At least he's still got
his relationship with God.

- Maybe the Rev needs a friend.

Then he wouldn't be sad, and
then you wouldn't be sad.

- Maybe even a friend that's a girl.

- Where am I going to find somebody

who wants to be his friend?

- You wouldn't have to.

- I wouldn't?

- Leave it to Lockie and I.

- Really?
- Really?

- Absolutely.

We'd love to help out.

- What's in it for you?

- What's in it for us?

- We just--

we just want to see you happy.

And in a weird way, it
was completely true.

We wanted him to be happy.

So we could be happy without feeling

guilty for being in our bubble.

- Leave it to us, Egg.

That's the price of happiness, Lockie.

Now that we've brought the best out

in each other we have to look out

for those less fortunate than ourselves.

- You are a remarkable
person, Vicki Streeton.

- You are.
- You are.

- No, you are.
- No, you are.

- So, Constable Waddle, I'm sure Angelus

isn't the last step on your career path.

What were you hoping to
achieve while you were here?

- Um, lots of arrests.

- No come on, really, I'm interested.

- I'm really interested
in arresting people.

- Really?

- Zero tolerance, apprehend first,

ask questions later, one
strike and you're out.

- One strike?

Well, I'm afraid we don't get

too many strikes here in Angelus.

- Doesn't sound like you look for any.

- Well, Constable Waddle,

we tend to operate on the idea

that it's hard to read a good poem

and commit a crime at the same time.

I think you'll find we run
a pretty tight ship here.

Feel welcome to prove me wrong,

unless of course, you're not up for it.

- Don't worry, I'm up for it.

- Sam was determined to

prove there was crime in Angelus,

and burst Sarge's bubble in the process.

While Mum, she was trying to convince Blob

it was their duty to help
Phillip make new friends.

- We don't want to miss play lunch, do we?

I mean just a little smile and a wave

as we go past might be all
the encouragement he needs.

You see Phillip anywhere, Blob?

You don't need to see this, Blob.

- Mum, what are you doing here?

- Stay out of this, Phillip.

Play lunch is a very small window

of opportunity, Mr. Squasher.

How do you expect Phillip to make

friends when you keep him in here?

It's because he's a Leonard, isn't it?

Not enough you have to
punish one of my sons

but now you have to make both of them pay.

- Um, Mum, I was just--
- It's alright, Phillip.

Adults can be bullies
too, and sooner or later,

someone just has to stand up to them.

- We're in a teacher-student
science competition,

Phillip is here by choice, Mrs. Leonard.

- But--

Why aren't you outside
playing with all the others?

It's a beautiful day out there.

- I'm happy.

- Suddenly, Phillip reminded

Mum of someone she used to know.

- More tea?

- Of course you would say that.

- Why are you here anyway?

Did I forget my lunchbox again?

- Tuck shop.

I heard they were short-staffed this term.

- Are you sure that's a good idea?

- Mrs. Ramsgate runs a pretty tight ship.

- Something I can help you with?

I'm waiting.

- Mum should've run a mile,

but she was determined to help

Phillip find some new friends.

- Well, I would like
to apply to, you know.

Volunteer?
- I see!

- Joy Leonard.

- This isn't just any old tuck shop,

I run a very tight ship.

The recess bell waits for no one.

- I have a lot of
experience making sandwiches.

And I'm very fast.

- It takes more than fast, Mrs. Leonard.

- I'm inventive too,
with my sandwich fillings,

tuna and honey, tomato and jam--

- So, you're creative,
that's very well and good,

but let's cut to the chase.

How fast can you make a cheese sandwich?

- Three in under a minute, with pickles.

- Plastic-wrapped?
- And paper-bagged.

- Impressive.

See Norell over there
for your plastic glove,

and don't take it home.

It belongs to the tuck shop.

- Mum wasn't the only one

with tunnel vision that day.

Just throw more at me, free-form.

- Fun, active, intelligent.

- You can't be serious.
- Good, good.

Keep 'em coming.

- You're putting an ad in the paper

to find Rev a new friend.
- Yeah, don't lose energy.

- I don't think this is a good idea.

- Bubbly, spontaneous--
- Deaf?

- I didn't know the Rev was deaf.

- He's not, and you guys
aren't listening to me.

I'm not sure this is a very good idea.

- I'm just not sure if you're

best judge of that right now, Egg.

- He's my Dad.
- Exactly.

Now where were we up to?

- Sensitive, recently-separated,

seeks female companion, spontaneous fun,

interest in God an advantage.

- Gold.

Gold.

- One salad in a bowl.
- Thanks.

- And--

One vanilla slice, courtesy
of Phillip Leonard.

First year?
- Sure.

- You in first year?

You can thank Phillip Leonard.

First year?
I don't think so, next window.

- Hello Mum.

- Hi, Lock.

You know, I don't think they've

changed this recipe in 17 years.

Can I have one?

Even though I'm not in first year?

Or really a candidate for
Phillip's new gang of buddies.

- You know, I think this is the last one.

- Will someone tell me where

they've put all the vanilla slices.

- Thank you.

- Hello Sarge, did you have a good day?

Did Constable Waddle
really like my tea cake?

- Hard to say, she didn't appreciate

my poem as much as I'd hoped.

- Well, did you pick a good one?

Alfred Lord Tennyson.

- She's a strange fish but
you know, we'll get there.

- Think I'm going to have a soak

and then get into my pyjamas tonight Mum.

- What?
Already?

- Big day tomorrow Mum.

Bonus questions on the
teacher-student quiz,

want to make sure I'm well-rested.

- Save some for the others.
- What others?

- Well they might still come.

- But Phillip wasn't actually

in a hurry for a new friend.

And Rev wasn't either.

- Hey Dad.

What are you doing?
- Nothing much, just--

- Just writing to Mum?

You gonna send it this time?

- I'm not sure.

- Maybe you need someone
new to write to, Dad.

("Come On Come On" by Little Birdy)

- What can I say?

The ad Vicki and I put in the paper,

asking people to audition to be

Rev's new friend got a big response.

Maybe too big.
- Hi, come on in.

Thanks very much for coming.

- There's no way you
can look me in the eye

and say that Liz isn't
the hands-down winner.

- I don't know why you're
so impressed by Liz,

she's got nothing on Sue.

- Hello, Liz has been hiking in Peru,

she rides a Harley, she surfs, Vicki.

- The ideal woman, right?
- Um, guys.

- You are such a neanderthal sometimes.

- Am not.
- Are too.

- Am not, look, Liz is
clearly our only choice.

Sue is just wrong.
- They're both wrong.

There's no room for them, either of them.

- But they're both so slim.

- Yeah, they wouldn't
take up that much room.

- You're not listening to me.

There's no space, at all.

I miss my Mum, alright?

- And that's when it happened.

That's when Vicki and I finally realised

the cost of living in a bubble.

You get so caught up in your own stuff

you stop looking out for other people,

and stop seeing what they really need.

Which for Egg right now, was a friend.

We're sorry, Egg.

- Never been so humiliated in all my life.

Why did I go to that audition?

Why, why?
I need a vanilla slice.

- Um, Ms. Ramsgate,

I have a little confession.

- Recently separated,
interest in God an advantage?

Something fishy about this ad.

Angelus Police?

I see, don't let the suspect get away.

("Come On Come On" by Little Birdy)

Snowy, we've got a case on our hands.

This her?

- No, no.

- You're coming with me.

What do we have here?

An accomplice?

Vanilla slice.
You're coming too.

Has anybody got a paper bag?

- I know how you feel,
today's been a shocker.

Between this and the audition--

- Audition?

Oi.

You guys put an ad in the paper?

- Yeah, but you're a bit late I'm afraid.

You look a bit young to
be recently separated.

- The ad was for someone
else, who isn't here.

- And doesn't even know we're here.

- I smell fraud.

- Snowy.

- I can't believe you didn't
tell me who they were.

Give me a go.
- I was in shock.

Couldn't speak.

- Hi Snowy.

Mum?!

- Good, you've come to bust me out.

- What happened?

- Well, I took a lot of vanilla slices

and I forgot to pay for them.

- Was Ms. Ramsgate very angry?

- I should've listened
to you and Mr. Squasher.

Is it really okay, Phillip?

That you don't have many
friends apart from old Squasher?

- Well, you don't have many friends,

and you're still happy.

- And that, hearing
the plain and simple truth,

Mum was reminded that Phillip
didn't really need anything.

Like her, he had everything he wanted,

and it was enough to finally
burst Mum's worry bubble.

- And do you know why that is?

Why I am so happy?

- 'Cause you've got us?

- You are a remarkable
young man, Phillip Leonard.

- Thanks Mum.

Mum, you're squashing my face.

- I saw the ad.

Not that I'm ready,

for a new friend,

but you've got some nice ones.

They weren't really doing
it for me, Geoffrey,

they were doing it for you.

- Hand me those keys.

We've got no other choice,
we have to let them go.

Well, well, well.

What do we have here then?

I have to say Constable,

these are some very serious charges.

But what impresses me most is

you've glimpsed the
atrocities just beneath,

the very, very subtle crimes it

would've been very easy to miss.

Meddling, of the highest order.

Multiple counts of CSA.
- CSA?

- Criminal self-absorption.

You've come a long way this week.

Commendable work.

Welcome to Angelus.

- Constable Waddle realised

Sarge didn't really live
in a bubble after all.

He just lived in Angelus,

and as for the rest of us,

Sarge wasn't about to let us off the hook.

- The Rock and the Bubble,
by Louisa May Alcott.

- Sarge kept us back late,

reciting a long, illustrative poem,

pointing out the vain,
one-sided dangers of bubbles.

- Heed little birdlings,
and wiser you'll be,

for the lesson learned today, by the sea.

You're free to go.
- Sarge's poem was spot on.

Vicki and I had learned our lesson,

and were ready to give up on bubbles.

For good.

("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)