Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 2, Episode 25 - Crimes of the Heartless - full transcript

Due to Lockie's heartlessness, Sarge's faith in Angelus is tested.

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- The human
heart is an amazing thing.

On one hand it's just a bunch of valves

running on electricity.

Just a big pump banging
away in your chest.

100,000 beats a day,

35 million beats a year.

But it does a whole heap of
other complicated stuff too.

Wild stuff,

like love and joy.

And tough stuff,

like heartache and heartbreak.



- It's broken.

- Sarge reckons if
you look at the worst crimes

of all time list,

right at the top is heartlessness.

- Over here people.

Try and keep up, please.

- He reckons
once you become heartless,

you forget other people's feelings

and start doing all sorts of scary things.

- So, next stop on tour,

pilates studio to your right.

And over here, the disco
come bingo facility.

- All of which is still
technically public land.

Strictly speaking, you're trespassing.



- I think you'll find you are, Sergeant.

As of 11 AM tomorrow,
this land is all mine.

- Well, as of 11 AM tomorrow,

you can finish the grand tour.

- Come on, Sergeant.

These folk don't get around so easily.

Have a heart.

- I have a heart, Barry.

You?

- I'll be back.

As for you and your family, Sergeant,

you're a bunch of dreamers.

You're exactly the kind of people

that are holding this town back.

You need to move with the times

or risk being run over.

- But Mr. Streeton wasn't the
real master of heartlessness.

Come on.

Not me again.

But it probably could be.

Which means

it was probably my fault

that Mel was back to her old tricks again.

- Hey Jess.

Long time, no see.

- You!

Out!

- That was fast.

- Melody, out!

- You really need to relax, Ian.

Have you tried chamomile tea?

- Out, out!

Out, out, out!

Out!

- Is now a good time to go?

- Now, young lady

or you'll need a stretcher!

- What are you doing?

- Does anyone else hear that?

Like an irritating little mosquito voice?

Must be my imagination.

- So, in case
you're not picking it up,

I'm in a spot of trouble with Mel.

- Lockie!

- This is me making a mistake.

This is me making a bigger mistake.

You can't see me

because I didn't show up.

That's the mistake bit.

I really am sorry.

Me realising my mistake.

Me not having much success apologising.

- Sash!

- I wasn't
the only one struggling

to say what needed to be said.

- Sash!

- Sash.

What am I?

Some kind of ribbon you win at a gymkhana?

Make it quick; I've got plans.

Quality friend-time before said friend

goes back to boarding school.

- He needed to tell Sasha

he wanted to break up with her.

- Okay.

Well, the thing is I think you're tops,

and I think your tops are even more tops.

- So frontiers of science
were given a good nudge today,

I'm expecting?

- All things considered,

the boys did extremely well.

- The science club
presentation was a disaster.

- Philip and Joe were known

to be sticklers for the facts,

and one of those facts
was that the average

has about six kilogrammes
of blood in their body,

and your heart pumps that blood

around your body three times every minute.

Which means your blood ends up

travelling 19,000 kilometres every day.

Which means, in the name
of scientific accuracy,

Philip and Joe had put
a pretty strong pump

inside that thing.

- I should have known
I pushed the equipment

to it's limits.

The staff have no scientific
vision whatsoever.

- Now that's a bit harsh.

- My request for a cryogenic incubator

have repeatedly fallen on deaf ears.

The faculty needs to move with the times.

- Well, perhaps things are
just as they should be.

Maybe that's the reason you're here.

Maybe you're the one to
light the fire of science

at Angela's heart.

- Possible.

But right now, it feels like
I'm operating in a vacuum.

- I'm a bit over cutlery anyway.

- Joy, what's with the...

- What, this?

It's actually quite comforting.

- After years of nappies,

mum wasn't afraid of
getting her hands dirty.

- My rings.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

I just can't believe it.

I mean ,

what kind of person steals a wedding ring?

Joy, Joy, Joy, it's Angelus.

Nobody stole your ring.

- They didn't?

- No. Someone's picked it up.

They'll be on the station's doorstep

first thing in the morning with it.

- Such a stupid thing to do.

- It's all right.

- The symbol of our love.

It's the circle of our
family bond.

- It's just having a sleepover.

It's as good as back on your finger.

- Good.

'Cause I would hate for anybody to think

that we'd broken up or anything.

- Shhhh.

- Egg decided that
he needed some expert advice.

- Yes, breaking up.

Your mother was an absolute professional.

She used to write wicked
break-up notes to me

in the early days.

- She did?

- Yeah! Five times before we got married.

Well, I think it's an effective way to go.

Two little dicky birds sitting on a rack.

Fly away Peter.

Fly away Jack.

Fly away Eggleston.

Don't come back.

She had a way with words, your mother.

- Speaking of words,

if you look up the word
optimistic in the dictionary,

Sarge is usually used as an example.

By lunchtime, he might
have fitted better under H,

for hopeful.

By evening, he'd slid
all the way down to U,

for utter disappointment.

- Sarge, it's...

We were thinking --

- That you're holding this town back.

- We were thinking --

- That it
might be time to go home.

- We're only a phone call away,

if there are any other developments.

- Appreciate it.

- You could always just
leave the box out the front.

- That's a good idea, Constable.

I might stick around a bit longer.

- Sarge?

- I see your mum's left me
a lovely plate of leftovers.

You should go to bed, Lock.

- I didn't really know what was going on.

But I kind of got that
Sarge would be just as happy

if I stayed up.

Did someone hand in mum's ring?

It was like the answer
was too much for him.

Like it put a huge crack in the middle

of his heart or something.

- No.

No one's handed it in.

- Can't Sarge just
buy her another one?

- I don't think it
was so much the ring, Egg.

The fact that no one handed it in.

- One thing about Vicki Streeton,

she get's stuff,

unlike Egg, who was still struggling.

- What about this?

Dear Sasha,

We had a lot of fun, but I
have better things to do now.

So that's it, we're done.

- Hey, Egg.

- How's it going, Mel?

- Sorry, Egg, can't stay.

Running late.

So, I'll see you, Egg.

- So, onto the next second hand shop?

- It's about 11/2 centimetres tall.

It's round and silver and
answers to the name Joy's Ring.

Perhaps if you know someone

who may have accidentally come across it,

then please call.

No questions asked, none at whatsoever.

- Yes, can I help you?

- Derek Hand, CSVTL Radio.

- I shouldn't be using
publicly funded radio

for personal announcements, should I?

Here, my broadcasting licence, take it.

I've been busted.

- Sarge was so
disappointed about mum's ring

he started questioning anyone he thought

was remotely involved in
the science presentation.

- Were you two at the
science presentation?

If you lie to me, I'll find out.

I want to talk to you about
the science presentation.

- Hang on.

I'm just going for a sausage roll.

- And as the day wore on,

Sarge was arresting anyone who
even looked sideways at him.

- You got something to say?

Save it for the station.

Don't push me, mumsie.

I'll use the cuffs if I have to.

They say every town gets the criminals

it's prepared to put up with.

I've looked for the best for too long,

and while I did, you lot
slunk under the door.

Sarge, I was thinking,

maybe if you let them off
with a cautionary poem?

- A poem?

Yeah, like that's going to
make a difference, dreamer.

- Sterling idea, Constable Wattle.

Why don't we then put
them all in their jimjams,

and make them a warm cup of cocoa,

and tell them they ought to play nice?

- Sarcasm, Sarge?

How could you be so heartless?

- So what actually
happened between you and Mel?

- Nothing, really.

Our lips sort of touched.

Well, brushed against each other,

like when you step on the
back of someone's shoe.

Anyway, she's the one
who said there was no way

we could be more than friends

the first time I tried to kiss her.

- Right. So that's two non-kisses then.

That'll be why she's upset.

Because somewhere in
between those two kisses,

she fell for you.

- We has had this big plan.

And then you turned up,

and you're upset,

and she was waiting for me.

And I didn't show.

- It's not your fault I had
a huge fight with my parents,

and couldn't stop crying for two hours.

- No, but there was still time.

After you were feeling better

I still could have gone but I didn't,

even though I knew it would hurt her.

I don't know.

I think I kinda broke her heart.

I didn't care about how she felt.

- Do you want to walk?

- The good, the
bad, the ugliest bits of you

and still she doesn't run away.

But I needed to stop running.

I was the criminal Sarge
had been looking for.

- There's no easy way to
break this to you, Lock.

But I think you're mature
enough now to handle the truth.

I've lost my way.

Somehow on my watch,

we stopped looking after each other.

- I know.

- You do?

- Worst crime of all time.

- No.

- Heartlessness on a grand scale.

And if mum's ring not being handed

in cracked the Sarge's heart,

- My own son.

- This broke his heart in two.

I'm sorry, Sarge.

- You'll have to take responsibility.

- It's not you.

It's me.
- It's me.

- Can we see them?

- Salmon patties.

Don't bite into the big one,

I've slipped a nail file in it.

- I deserve to be here.

I was sarcastic today.

I've let you all down.

- Maybe you were feeling
a little let down.

- That shouldn't
make a difference.

- Nonsense, Sarge.

You have given your heart
and soul to this town.

And they've just --

- Stomped on it.

- Maybe Mr. Streeton was right.

I'm a dreamer.

Maybe I'm the one holding this town back.

- Something crazy happened to me today.

- We've been keeping an
ear on you Joy Leonard,

and we like what we hear.

So we're proposing a three year plan.

Sure, we'll start you off small,

but by the end,

we'll have made you a star.

This is our starting offer.

- It would mean a move east.

Sydney.

It would be a fresh start for all of us.

So shall we think about it at home?

It'll be a chance for you to recharge.

You could write some verse of your own.

- Because
the literary community

is just gagging for more thrilling poems

from Sergeant Leonard.

- I am going to pretend
that I did not hear that.

He'll be as good as new in no time.

- Will he?

- It's the miraculous
thing about broken hearts.

Little bit of time and
a little bit of care,

they heal right back up.

- Even if they've been
smashed to smithereens?

- Even if they've been
kicked from here to Kalguli.

What do you think about moving?

- It's science-central.

Philip will love it.

- If I'm working, I
wouldn't be around as much

for you kids.

- We've had you to
ourselves for a long time.

I think it's about time we shared you

with the rest of the world a bit.

And if you were working, then
Sarge could rest, couldn't he?

- When did you become so grown up?

- What's the plan with
all the mandarins, mum?

- Mandarin pikelets

for our breakfast meeting.

Can't make a big decision
on an empty stomach.

- The decisions just been made, hasn't it?

- Mandarin pikelets, woohoo!

- Should we have a show of hands?

- Hands in the air for move east.

Hand on the table to stay in Angelus.

- Philip?

- Sydney Science Academy
for Future Innovators

here we come.

- Blob?

I'm going to take that as a yes.

Mum?

If Blob could talk, she'd be saying no

for all the right reasons.

- Blob's been in a contrary mood all day.

Lockie, your vote.

- I think it's time for a
new Leonard family adventure.

What do you reckon, Sarge?

But we couldn't hear her.

We were too busy trying to save the Sarge.

- Looks like it's five votes to go east.

- That's it then.

- We're leaving Angelus.

- A new chapter.

- Another Leonard adventure.

- This is us.

- This is our time!

- I know, we're
acting a bit weird,

but sometimes when big stuff happens

you have to say it out
loud before it seems real.

According to Sasha, the big
stuff had already been said,

loud and clear.

- We talked about this three weeks ago.

- We did?

- I didn't want sauce on my chips.

- But you always have sauce on your chips.

- I used to,

but I've changed my mind.

Me and sauce, we're finished.

I'm sorry if I broke your heart, Egg,

but it clearly wasn't meant to be.

- It wasn't?

- And so Sasha
and Egg were no more.

Mel!

But I still had some unfinished business

to take care of.

Look, I know I don't really
exist according to you,

but this might be your
last chance to ignore me.

I'm leaving Angelus.

Are you going to chuck that over me?

Should I be afraid?

- I just spent 3.50 on it.

If I was going to chuck it on you,

I'd wait till I was right near the bottom.

Do you want to go?

- Yeah.

I think it's going to
be good for everyone.

- I hope you're not doing a me.

- What do you mean?

- I mean, I hope you're not running away

because things got too messy,

too hard.

'Cause that would be a
really stupid thing to do.

Which is probably why you like the idea.

- I'm sorry about everything.

- Don't worry about it.

- No, I have to tell you.

Mel, I think you're really awesome --

- Lockie, don't be nice to me.

Not yet, you're not allowed.

- But I just want to say I'm --

- Best 3.50 I've ever spent, I reckon.

Goodbye, Lockie.

It's nice knowing you.

- Is it true?

Wow.

- Yup.

- And this is definitely not a joke?

- Nope.

- Why are you looking so hard done by?

You're the one going back to
boarding school next week.

You're both leaving me.

- Well, they say absence makes
the heart grow fonder, Egg.

Although, with Vicki, if
my heart grew any fonder

I reckon it'd explode.

It's mental

that the same part of your
body can make you feel

like the most important
person in the world

or as low as a cockroach.

- She really is in a feral mood today.

- And the most amazing thing,

event the heart you
think's been broken in two

somehow, and almost as if
by magic, it can heal itself

and start beating again all on it's own.