Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 2, Episode 22 - I, Monster - full transcript
Yep, you're right, it's a tent
and this is Phillip, my younger brother
and his friend, Joe.
And if you look really, really closely
you might just notice they're
both totally petrified.
- Can you pass the monster
repellent please, Joe.
- That's right, fright fans.
Phillip and Joe are
staking out the monster
from the swamp again.
- Snowy, what are you doing here?
- I'm meeting Constable
Wattle to play battleships.
- If you're here, then who's...
- It's me, it's Sarge.
- It's Sarge.
- Okay, so we know Phillip,
the whole swamp monster thing
has just been one big, fat, false alarm.
- So you see boys, there was nothing
to worry about after all.
- Yeah, I see that now, what a relief.
- Yes, that's right, what a relief.
- Well, I think it's probably
time you went off to bed,
maybe with a good book?
- I'll say.
- Even so, Phillip still had
this one niggling doubt.
There was still one piece of
the puzzle that didn't fit.
- The cheese sandwich.
- How could we have been so blind?
- So, if this cheese sandwich disappears,
just like all the others, then--
- It means whatever hideous
alien creature that we disturbed
from its rest is still out there.
- And when they returned
the first thing next morning...
- It's back.
- Phillip, look over here.
- Goodness, another ghastly footprint.
- You know what this means?
If Angelus is going to
survive this nightmare,
then we're gonna have
to put aside all aspects
of personal safety and
enter the swamp again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
- Of course, some people have
encountered monsters before
and lived to tell the tale.
- Then again, you wouldn't expect to hear
from the people who hadn't.
Phillip, look.
Sorry, it's just a rabbit.
- Meanwhile, something was
in the air at Angelus High
because tomorrow was the
start of the midyear break.
But for once, I wasn't looking
forward to the holidays.
If I wasn't at school, I
wouldn't have any excuse
to avoid running into Vicki and Josh.
My ex-girlfriend, that is, and
her mega rich new boyfriend,
Josh who's staying with the
Streetons over the break.
So rather than thinking
of good things to do
for the holidays, I was
thinking about places to hide.
And then we can go for a 12 day trek
into the wilderness region
to test our survival skills.
- Yeah, right.
- Or instead we could do something fun.
- Dude, did someone say fun?
What better way to
celebrate the midyear break
than fun pattern 1960s disco beach party
at the bowling alley tomorrow night.
- Yeah, maybe.
- That wasn't an invite, it was an order.
It will also give us a chance
to celebrate my promotion
to acting supervising assistant manager,
but enough of my achievements.
Tomorrow we'll be bowling in teams of two.
Lockie, you're with Mel, Egg--
- I'm with you.
- Obviously, and of course, Vicki and Josh
will be coming as well.
Anything wrong with that?
Anybody, anybody, anybody?
- Joining the
workforce had obviously
unleashed the monster in Sasha,
but Sasha wasn't the
only monster on the loose
in Angelus that day.
- I rushed her to
the health centre they said
it was nothing more than an
unsightly allergic reaction.
- I've never seen anything like it.
- Better keep your distance,
it might be contagious.
You wouldn't want to spend
your entire holidays shut up
in a darkened room with no
visitors now, would you?
- All of a sudden,
getting up close and infectious
with Blob sounded like
the answer to my prayers.
Lockie?
- What did I just say?
- But I needn't have worried
because first thing next morning...
Morning.
- Lockie, I thought I told you
to keep right away from Blob.
- I did, I've been avoiding
her since she threw up
that cucumber goo over me.
- Shots, Blob.
- No, what have I done.
Lockie, you weren't the
only one Blob threw up over
the other day.
Hi there.
- What, nothing to see here.
We haven't done anything
wrong, have we Barry?
- That wouldn't be young
Josh under that, would it,
by any chance?
- Morning.
- Josh didn't wake this
morning with a slight case
of the bright green pustules, did he?
- Joy, no one must ever find out.
The shame, the humiliation.
- The possibilities for
cross infection are--
- You know how mega rich Josh is.
What are his parents going
to say when they discover
that we've exposed him to some horrendous
and disfiguring disease?
- And you can't be too careful these days.
Joy, I've been feeling a
bit iffy myself lately,
so we've decided to isolate
Josh in a motel room,
just to be sure he doesn't
take out the rest of us.
No offence, Josh.
- None taken.
- Listen, rather than hiding
Josh away in a motel room,
why doesn't he come back to our place.
Lockie has been feeling a
little under the weather too.
That way I can keep an eye on all three,
on both of them at the same time.
- You'd do that, Joy, for us, but why?
- Well, whatever
silly, little lurgy it is
that's brought Josh out
in bright green pustules,
it's not helped by people
pointing the finger,
looking for someone to blame, is it?
No, I think the less everybody
knows about this, the better.
Absolutely.
- Exactly, I'll just get a bag here.
- Come on, come on, Josh, that's okay.
- I hope he'll be alright.
- So do I.
I wouldn't be stepping
foot into a bomb like that,
rust bucket.
- Why is dad so grumpy?
- I put him on a diet, no dairy.
- Anyway, I don't think
this is a good idea either.
- Of course, it is, who would
think of looking for Josh
at the Leonard's?
- Vickie wasn't so
fussed about Josh's hideout,
she was stressing about whether Josh and I
were gonna be talking
about her behind her back.
And it all started out so well,
but they couldn't know what
they were getting into,
and now it was way too late.
- Man, why didn't you tell me
what Vicki was really like?
- You'd never believe me.
- Okay guys, the truth, tell
me what do you hate more,
mystery or my shoes?
Tell me the truth, I'm not gonna...
- Vicki Streeton stars in
Attack of the high maintenance girlfriend.
- You're not scared, are you?
- Me, no, no, of course not.
It's just that I usually
do my best work in the lab
rather than out here in the field
with the monster from the swamp.
- Don't worry, as long as we arm ourselves
with my monster repellent,
there's a fair chance
we'll get out of this alive.
- What exactly is in
your monster repellent?
- The two things I hate
most in the world, mustard
and custard.
One thing's certain, this one
monster only walks by night.
If we're gonna capture it alive
and take it into captivity,
then we're gonna have
to camp here overnight.
Have you got a tent?
- Good idea, but sadly I'm
pretty certain my parents
would never allow it.
- Phillip, change of plans.
We're gonna need your bed tonight.
Perhaps you and Joe could
camp out by the swamp.
You can share the tent.
Well, there you go, Josh.
Hop into bed, both of you, chop chop.
I prescribe an entire day of bed rest.
- So much for avoiding Josh.
Okay, this was weird.
The last thing I'd wanted
was to spend any time
at all with Josh.
But at the same time, another
part of me wanted to know
everything there was to know about him,
as in what's the big attraction
with this guy for Vicki?
What does Josh have that
Lockie Leonard doesn't?
- Can I help you with anything there?
- No, I was just thinking.
It's weird I don't get sick very often.
- Me neither, the last time
was in the south of France
when I spent too long in
the sauna and dehydrated.
Thankfully Janette got me back on my feet.
- You call your mum Janette?
- No, Sarah.
Janette's my nanny.
Mum was in New York
closing the Colorado deal.
You been to France?
- No.
- New York?
- No, or Colorado either.
You didn't have to be a
genius to see what Josh
had over me, money, travel, nannies.
We were worlds apart.
It must have been a no brainer for Vicki.
- Vicki, what are we gonna do?
Lockie was supposed to be
Mel's bowling partner tonight,
but there's a rumour going
around that he woke up
this morning and he's turned green.
- Yeah, Josh isn't very well either.
There's probably no point
in me coming tonight.
- I've been thinking the same thing.
- But that's fantastic, what a relief.
- What?
- Didn't you want us to come?
- You two can be my new team.
That way, I'll only be one down.
- Hi, guys, it's gonna
be great tonight?
If I last that long.
- Come on, Egg, no time
to sit around chatting.
Work to do, decorate.
- Are you sure you're okay
us being on the same team?
- Yeah, sure, if you are, why not?
- Actually, Mel had
a pretty good reason why not.
After a recent incident
with a giant cucumber,
she was certain Vicki
decided exactly what she was.
Melanie Lyons stars in
Demon Cucumber Slayer
from Planet Jealous.
- Did you want to come back to my place?
We could check out some
clothes for tonight.
- Sure.
- Finally, Josh
and I found something
we had in common to talk about.
- You know the best thing about Vicki?
She's always so easygoing
and happy and uncomplicated.
I mean Vicki is just so
easy to hang out with.
- Can we have that again?
- I mean Vicki is just
so easy to hang out with.
- Are we talking
about the same girl?
I've never known Vicki not to
be complicated and confusing,
not from the first day we met.
Josh, you know Vicki only too well.
Okay, so what are we getting here?
Yeah.
That any time that Vicki's
with Josh she's full on
deliriously cheerful.
So what does that mean?
Maybe it was me who was
being the complicated
and confusing one all along.
- Hi, Lockie, Josh and I
were just going for a walk.
You might want to come, it might be fun.
That's okay, isn't it, having fun?
- Fun, how can I have fun,
when nobody understands my pain?
Lockie Leonard stars in Emo Attacks.
- 1960s beach party.
- No, girlie.
- No.
- What do you think?
- No.
- Wow, is there something
wrong with all of them?
- They're dresses.
- I see, silly me.
- If it's a beach party,
shouldn't we both just turn up
in our wetsuits?
- Well, I don't have one, I don't surf.
- You don't surf?
Wow, that's so weird.
How did you two used to spend your time?
- I don't know.
We used to talk about everything.
Sometimes we'd just talk all day nonstop.
- Really, wow.
- Do you feel like a milkshake?
- I'm sorry we couldn't rustle
up any five star facilities.
This place must be a bit less
ritzy than you're used to.
- Hey, don't knock it, today's been fun.
- Sure it has.
Are you being serious?
- Listen, I'm loving
everything about Angelus,
and if we're talking five stars,
how can you go past Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
They're seriously the best.
- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
- Warm, nurturing, they're funny,
and they're always there for you.
- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
Okay, here's the thing, if
Josh thinks the Streetons
are warm and fuzzy, what
must his family be like?
- Okay, so we have a business
empire and we're mega rich,
but it's full on.
I only see mum once in a blue
moon and dad just about never.
How do you think I ended
up here for the holidays?
Mum and dad couldn't schedule me in.
- So finally I
understood why Josh and Vicki
got on so well.
It's because they were
able to share something
that I've never had, dodgy parents.
- Mind you, at least while
I'm sick, dad's minders
won't be calling me every five minutes.
What are you staring at?
- Your green pustules.
- You too, they've gone.
- Blob as well, we're cured.
Mum.
- Mrs. Leonard.
- Tell me if it's none of my business,
but what's boarding school got
that you haven't already got here?
Two parents, a milkshake maker,
a bedroom the size of a footy field,
why would you ever want to leave?
- My perfect life, I guess
that depends on whether
you're standing on the outside looking in
or on the inside looking out.
- Seems pretty perfect compared to mine.
At least you have a home
that stays in one place.
- Maybe, but at least you
get to choose what you want
to do with your own life.
- Come on guys, hurry up.
- We're in the kitchen.
- Who's your little
friend, Vicki, someone we know?
- Hi, I'm Mel.
- She hasn't been anywhere
near Josh, has she kitten?
You can't be too careful
with these bright green
pustuly things, can we?
- Barry.
I'm sure Mel's delightful,
but we wouldn't want Josh
meeting anyone he might find
more appealing now, would we?
Barry, I don't think so.
No dairy, remember?
- Crikey, Sal, a man
could starve around here.
- Barry, nobody's going to buy a car
from someone with flabby jowls.
- No, you're both to remain
under observation until morning.
That's my final word on the subject.
I mean if it were up to
me, I'd probably say well,
you know, fair enough up you get.
It's not like I enjoy
being mean or horrible.
I'm not a monster, I'm
just being responsible.
Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, Mum.
- I'm so sorry.
- Remember, we should only
use the monster repellent
as a last resort, if
our lives are at risk.
- Maybe not even then.
- Exactly, but we're trying
to attract the swamp monster,
not frighten it away.
- Boys, here's the cheese sandwiches
you asked me for.
Now are you sure this is gonna be enough
for the both of you?
- When you hear the voice
croaking the deepest night,
think of me, mummy, for
that will be me calling.
- Feels normal enough.
- Egg, what are you doing here?
- What does it look like?
I'm busting you guys out of this joint.
You can't leave me in there
with Sasha a moment longer.
I've never worked so hard in my life.
- But Lockie's mum says we
have to stay here 'til morning.
- I can't last 'til the morning.
Guys, I'm begging you, put those on.
- Stop right there.
- You're not going anywhere,
not without your mobile phone, Josh.
- It's okay, he won't be needing it.
- That's right, tell them
I'm taking a night off.
- So I discovered
Josh wasn't as much
of a monster as I thought.
Mind you, that's not to say
that monsters don't exist somewhere.
- But once it's dark, it actually gets
quite a bit more scary, didn't you find?
- A little bit, a little bit.
- We have to deploy the cheese sandwich.
- Cheese sandwich deployed.
- Then what we have to do is wait.
- Goodo, alright.
Joe, look.
- I'm looking.
- Look.
He's downed the cheese sandwich.
- The monster repellent quickly.
Mr. Streeton?
- Gee, that mustard smarts.
That went right into my eye.
- What are you doing here
and why are you wearing all that stuff?
- I could ask the same thing.
I'd also like to know what's in that sack.
- What was in my sack,
just a couple of frogs.
I'm thinking of putting in a
eco-friendly ornamental pond.
- But surely one man couldn't
inflict that much damage
on a cheese sandwich.
- Couldn't he just?
Have tried going on one of Mrs.
Streeton's dairy-free diets?
I've never been so hungry.
I could eat me own leg.
- Sarge, is this all that amounts to,
an ornamental pond and a diet?
- So if it's all the same to you, Sarge,
I think I'll be heading off home.
- All right, on your
way, but I don't think
we've heard the whole story as yet.
- So there wasn't a monster
from the swamp after all?
- I couldn't be more disappointed.
- So here it is my friends,
Lockie Leonard's pendant
theory about monsters.
You might think you have a
good reason to worry about
or be scared of other people
and what they might think,
but most of the time the
only monsters you need
to stress about are the
stupid, pointless ones
you make up yourself inside your head.
And trust me, there's only one thing
you'd ever want to do with those.
("Worlds Away")
and this is Phillip, my younger brother
and his friend, Joe.
And if you look really, really closely
you might just notice they're
both totally petrified.
- Can you pass the monster
repellent please, Joe.
- That's right, fright fans.
Phillip and Joe are
staking out the monster
from the swamp again.
- Snowy, what are you doing here?
- I'm meeting Constable
Wattle to play battleships.
- If you're here, then who's...
- It's me, it's Sarge.
- It's Sarge.
- Okay, so we know Phillip,
the whole swamp monster thing
has just been one big, fat, false alarm.
- So you see boys, there was nothing
to worry about after all.
- Yeah, I see that now, what a relief.
- Yes, that's right, what a relief.
- Well, I think it's probably
time you went off to bed,
maybe with a good book?
- I'll say.
- Even so, Phillip still had
this one niggling doubt.
There was still one piece of
the puzzle that didn't fit.
- The cheese sandwich.
- How could we have been so blind?
- So, if this cheese sandwich disappears,
just like all the others, then--
- It means whatever hideous
alien creature that we disturbed
from its rest is still out there.
- And when they returned
the first thing next morning...
- It's back.
- Phillip, look over here.
- Goodness, another ghastly footprint.
- You know what this means?
If Angelus is going to
survive this nightmare,
then we're gonna have
to put aside all aspects
of personal safety and
enter the swamp again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
- Of course, some people have
encountered monsters before
and lived to tell the tale.
- Then again, you wouldn't expect to hear
from the people who hadn't.
Phillip, look.
Sorry, it's just a rabbit.
- Meanwhile, something was
in the air at Angelus High
because tomorrow was the
start of the midyear break.
But for once, I wasn't looking
forward to the holidays.
If I wasn't at school, I
wouldn't have any excuse
to avoid running into Vicki and Josh.
My ex-girlfriend, that is, and
her mega rich new boyfriend,
Josh who's staying with the
Streetons over the break.
So rather than thinking
of good things to do
for the holidays, I was
thinking about places to hide.
And then we can go for a 12 day trek
into the wilderness region
to test our survival skills.
- Yeah, right.
- Or instead we could do something fun.
- Dude, did someone say fun?
What better way to
celebrate the midyear break
than fun pattern 1960s disco beach party
at the bowling alley tomorrow night.
- Yeah, maybe.
- That wasn't an invite, it was an order.
It will also give us a chance
to celebrate my promotion
to acting supervising assistant manager,
but enough of my achievements.
Tomorrow we'll be bowling in teams of two.
Lockie, you're with Mel, Egg--
- I'm with you.
- Obviously, and of course, Vicki and Josh
will be coming as well.
Anything wrong with that?
Anybody, anybody, anybody?
- Joining the
workforce had obviously
unleashed the monster in Sasha,
but Sasha wasn't the
only monster on the loose
in Angelus that day.
- I rushed her to
the health centre they said
it was nothing more than an
unsightly allergic reaction.
- I've never seen anything like it.
- Better keep your distance,
it might be contagious.
You wouldn't want to spend
your entire holidays shut up
in a darkened room with no
visitors now, would you?
- All of a sudden,
getting up close and infectious
with Blob sounded like
the answer to my prayers.
Lockie?
- What did I just say?
- But I needn't have worried
because first thing next morning...
Morning.
- Lockie, I thought I told you
to keep right away from Blob.
- I did, I've been avoiding
her since she threw up
that cucumber goo over me.
- Shots, Blob.
- No, what have I done.
Lockie, you weren't the
only one Blob threw up over
the other day.
Hi there.
- What, nothing to see here.
We haven't done anything
wrong, have we Barry?
- That wouldn't be young
Josh under that, would it,
by any chance?
- Morning.
- Josh didn't wake this
morning with a slight case
of the bright green pustules, did he?
- Joy, no one must ever find out.
The shame, the humiliation.
- The possibilities for
cross infection are--
- You know how mega rich Josh is.
What are his parents going
to say when they discover
that we've exposed him to some horrendous
and disfiguring disease?
- And you can't be too careful these days.
Joy, I've been feeling a
bit iffy myself lately,
so we've decided to isolate
Josh in a motel room,
just to be sure he doesn't
take out the rest of us.
No offence, Josh.
- None taken.
- Listen, rather than hiding
Josh away in a motel room,
why doesn't he come back to our place.
Lockie has been feeling a
little under the weather too.
That way I can keep an eye on all three,
on both of them at the same time.
- You'd do that, Joy, for us, but why?
- Well, whatever
silly, little lurgy it is
that's brought Josh out
in bright green pustules,
it's not helped by people
pointing the finger,
looking for someone to blame, is it?
No, I think the less everybody
knows about this, the better.
Absolutely.
- Exactly, I'll just get a bag here.
- Come on, come on, Josh, that's okay.
- I hope he'll be alright.
- So do I.
I wouldn't be stepping
foot into a bomb like that,
rust bucket.
- Why is dad so grumpy?
- I put him on a diet, no dairy.
- Anyway, I don't think
this is a good idea either.
- Of course, it is, who would
think of looking for Josh
at the Leonard's?
- Vickie wasn't so
fussed about Josh's hideout,
she was stressing about whether Josh and I
were gonna be talking
about her behind her back.
And it all started out so well,
but they couldn't know what
they were getting into,
and now it was way too late.
- Man, why didn't you tell me
what Vicki was really like?
- You'd never believe me.
- Okay guys, the truth, tell
me what do you hate more,
mystery or my shoes?
Tell me the truth, I'm not gonna...
- Vicki Streeton stars in
Attack of the high maintenance girlfriend.
- You're not scared, are you?
- Me, no, no, of course not.
It's just that I usually
do my best work in the lab
rather than out here in the field
with the monster from the swamp.
- Don't worry, as long as we arm ourselves
with my monster repellent,
there's a fair chance
we'll get out of this alive.
- What exactly is in
your monster repellent?
- The two things I hate
most in the world, mustard
and custard.
One thing's certain, this one
monster only walks by night.
If we're gonna capture it alive
and take it into captivity,
then we're gonna have
to camp here overnight.
Have you got a tent?
- Good idea, but sadly I'm
pretty certain my parents
would never allow it.
- Phillip, change of plans.
We're gonna need your bed tonight.
Perhaps you and Joe could
camp out by the swamp.
You can share the tent.
Well, there you go, Josh.
Hop into bed, both of you, chop chop.
I prescribe an entire day of bed rest.
- So much for avoiding Josh.
Okay, this was weird.
The last thing I'd wanted
was to spend any time
at all with Josh.
But at the same time, another
part of me wanted to know
everything there was to know about him,
as in what's the big attraction
with this guy for Vicki?
What does Josh have that
Lockie Leonard doesn't?
- Can I help you with anything there?
- No, I was just thinking.
It's weird I don't get sick very often.
- Me neither, the last time
was in the south of France
when I spent too long in
the sauna and dehydrated.
Thankfully Janette got me back on my feet.
- You call your mum Janette?
- No, Sarah.
Janette's my nanny.
Mum was in New York
closing the Colorado deal.
You been to France?
- No.
- New York?
- No, or Colorado either.
You didn't have to be a
genius to see what Josh
had over me, money, travel, nannies.
We were worlds apart.
It must have been a no brainer for Vicki.
- Vicki, what are we gonna do?
Lockie was supposed to be
Mel's bowling partner tonight,
but there's a rumour going
around that he woke up
this morning and he's turned green.
- Yeah, Josh isn't very well either.
There's probably no point
in me coming tonight.
- I've been thinking the same thing.
- But that's fantastic, what a relief.
- What?
- Didn't you want us to come?
- You two can be my new team.
That way, I'll only be one down.
- Hi, guys, it's gonna
be great tonight?
If I last that long.
- Come on, Egg, no time
to sit around chatting.
Work to do, decorate.
- Are you sure you're okay
us being on the same team?
- Yeah, sure, if you are, why not?
- Actually, Mel had
a pretty good reason why not.
After a recent incident
with a giant cucumber,
she was certain Vicki
decided exactly what she was.
Melanie Lyons stars in
Demon Cucumber Slayer
from Planet Jealous.
- Did you want to come back to my place?
We could check out some
clothes for tonight.
- Sure.
- Finally, Josh
and I found something
we had in common to talk about.
- You know the best thing about Vicki?
She's always so easygoing
and happy and uncomplicated.
I mean Vicki is just so
easy to hang out with.
- Can we have that again?
- I mean Vicki is just
so easy to hang out with.
- Are we talking
about the same girl?
I've never known Vicki not to
be complicated and confusing,
not from the first day we met.
Josh, you know Vicki only too well.
Okay, so what are we getting here?
Yeah.
That any time that Vicki's
with Josh she's full on
deliriously cheerful.
So what does that mean?
Maybe it was me who was
being the complicated
and confusing one all along.
- Hi, Lockie, Josh and I
were just going for a walk.
You might want to come, it might be fun.
That's okay, isn't it, having fun?
- Fun, how can I have fun,
when nobody understands my pain?
Lockie Leonard stars in Emo Attacks.
- 1960s beach party.
- No, girlie.
- No.
- What do you think?
- No.
- Wow, is there something
wrong with all of them?
- They're dresses.
- I see, silly me.
- If it's a beach party,
shouldn't we both just turn up
in our wetsuits?
- Well, I don't have one, I don't surf.
- You don't surf?
Wow, that's so weird.
How did you two used to spend your time?
- I don't know.
We used to talk about everything.
Sometimes we'd just talk all day nonstop.
- Really, wow.
- Do you feel like a milkshake?
- I'm sorry we couldn't rustle
up any five star facilities.
This place must be a bit less
ritzy than you're used to.
- Hey, don't knock it, today's been fun.
- Sure it has.
Are you being serious?
- Listen, I'm loving
everything about Angelus,
and if we're talking five stars,
how can you go past Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
They're seriously the best.
- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
- Warm, nurturing, they're funny,
and they're always there for you.
- Mr. and Mrs. Streeton?
Okay, here's the thing, if
Josh thinks the Streetons
are warm and fuzzy, what
must his family be like?
- Okay, so we have a business
empire and we're mega rich,
but it's full on.
I only see mum once in a blue
moon and dad just about never.
How do you think I ended
up here for the holidays?
Mum and dad couldn't schedule me in.
- So finally I
understood why Josh and Vicki
got on so well.
It's because they were
able to share something
that I've never had, dodgy parents.
- Mind you, at least while
I'm sick, dad's minders
won't be calling me every five minutes.
What are you staring at?
- Your green pustules.
- You too, they've gone.
- Blob as well, we're cured.
Mum.
- Mrs. Leonard.
- Tell me if it's none of my business,
but what's boarding school got
that you haven't already got here?
Two parents, a milkshake maker,
a bedroom the size of a footy field,
why would you ever want to leave?
- My perfect life, I guess
that depends on whether
you're standing on the outside looking in
or on the inside looking out.
- Seems pretty perfect compared to mine.
At least you have a home
that stays in one place.
- Maybe, but at least you
get to choose what you want
to do with your own life.
- Come on guys, hurry up.
- We're in the kitchen.
- Who's your little
friend, Vicki, someone we know?
- Hi, I'm Mel.
- She hasn't been anywhere
near Josh, has she kitten?
You can't be too careful
with these bright green
pustuly things, can we?
- Barry.
I'm sure Mel's delightful,
but we wouldn't want Josh
meeting anyone he might find
more appealing now, would we?
Barry, I don't think so.
No dairy, remember?
- Crikey, Sal, a man
could starve around here.
- Barry, nobody's going to buy a car
from someone with flabby jowls.
- No, you're both to remain
under observation until morning.
That's my final word on the subject.
I mean if it were up to
me, I'd probably say well,
you know, fair enough up you get.
It's not like I enjoy
being mean or horrible.
I'm not a monster, I'm
just being responsible.
Do I make myself clear?
- Yes, Mum.
- I'm so sorry.
- Remember, we should only
use the monster repellent
as a last resort, if
our lives are at risk.
- Maybe not even then.
- Exactly, but we're trying
to attract the swamp monster,
not frighten it away.
- Boys, here's the cheese sandwiches
you asked me for.
Now are you sure this is gonna be enough
for the both of you?
- When you hear the voice
croaking the deepest night,
think of me, mummy, for
that will be me calling.
- Feels normal enough.
- Egg, what are you doing here?
- What does it look like?
I'm busting you guys out of this joint.
You can't leave me in there
with Sasha a moment longer.
I've never worked so hard in my life.
- But Lockie's mum says we
have to stay here 'til morning.
- I can't last 'til the morning.
Guys, I'm begging you, put those on.
- Stop right there.
- You're not going anywhere,
not without your mobile phone, Josh.
- It's okay, he won't be needing it.
- That's right, tell them
I'm taking a night off.
- So I discovered
Josh wasn't as much
of a monster as I thought.
Mind you, that's not to say
that monsters don't exist somewhere.
- But once it's dark, it actually gets
quite a bit more scary, didn't you find?
- A little bit, a little bit.
- We have to deploy the cheese sandwich.
- Cheese sandwich deployed.
- Then what we have to do is wait.
- Goodo, alright.
Joe, look.
- I'm looking.
- Look.
He's downed the cheese sandwich.
- The monster repellent quickly.
Mr. Streeton?
- Gee, that mustard smarts.
That went right into my eye.
- What are you doing here
and why are you wearing all that stuff?
- I could ask the same thing.
I'd also like to know what's in that sack.
- What was in my sack,
just a couple of frogs.
I'm thinking of putting in a
eco-friendly ornamental pond.
- But surely one man couldn't
inflict that much damage
on a cheese sandwich.
- Couldn't he just?
Have tried going on one of Mrs.
Streeton's dairy-free diets?
I've never been so hungry.
I could eat me own leg.
- Sarge, is this all that amounts to,
an ornamental pond and a diet?
- So if it's all the same to you, Sarge,
I think I'll be heading off home.
- All right, on your
way, but I don't think
we've heard the whole story as yet.
- So there wasn't a monster
from the swamp after all?
- I couldn't be more disappointed.
- So here it is my friends,
Lockie Leonard's pendant
theory about monsters.
You might think you have a
good reason to worry about
or be scared of other people
and what they might think,
but most of the time the
only monsters you need
to stress about are the
stupid, pointless ones
you make up yourself inside your head.
And trust me, there's only one thing
you'd ever want to do with those.
("Worlds Away")