Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 2, Episode 17 - A Musical Moment - full transcript
Lockie wonders why life can't be like a musical.
- If only life
were like a musical -
weeks of preparation,
plenty of time to make sure
you've learned all your lines,
so when the big moment comes along,
you're able to say
exactly what you need to.
- Clark!
Ashtray, move it!
- Like, I don't want to play
net ball with you anymore.
Or other tricky things like I miss you.
So why would something
as random as a musical
pop into my head anyway?
- Life is like a musical.
My new adaptation of Shakespeare's
so-called masterpiece,
Romeo and Juliet, is
entitled Robeot and Juliet.
A musical.
- Ms. Twaddle was ready to make
her dream a reality.
Sadly for the rest of
us, it was shaping up
to be more like a nightmare.
- Set far off in the future, where robot
and man shall coexist.
It's against this
backdrop, we bring together
the timeless tale of tragic young love,
featuring two unlikely
heroes from opposite sides
of the tracks.
- Egg knew all about
the wrong side of the tracks.
He'd just been released
from enrichment class,
home to the school's morally malnourished.
- May I see your re-entry papers?
- Egg was nervous about returning
to regular classes again.
The endless questions
about where he'd been,
the pain of an old questions' maths test.
- You're free to proceed.
But one false step and you'll be sent
back to where you came from.
No questions asked!
- But most of
all, Egg was nervous
about seeing Sasha.
See, recently she gave him an ultimatum.
- Now, I've expressed interest
in becoming your girlfriend
and you have yet to
respond to my proposal.
If I don't receive a
response by close of business
end of calendar month, the
offer will be withdrawn
and I'll return to ignoring you.
This is called a deadline, Egg.
- Robeot, Robeot,
wherefore art thou Robeot?
- It's Egg. Remember?
- Like our android hero, you
too have recently emerged
from a troubled time in a faraway land!
You are Robeot!
Juliet, I have found your leading man.
Don't you and Sasha make a lovely couple?
- Relationships, they'll do
in and while you end them.
And only end in tears once it's all over.
And even then, you're still traumatised.
I mean, look at Rev.
Once you calling each
other's names, one starting
with B or G.
It's all over.
- But Egg, you're acting needy now.
If you like Sasha, just
say so and get over it.
Besides, it's not like
you can avoid her now.
Robeot.
- Phillip.
- Sam, what a surprise.
Didn't expect to see you here.
- Call me coach, at least
till after the finals.
So, will we see you down
at the court this Saturday?
You missed last week's game.
You're not planning on leaving us
in the lurch again, are you?
- Me? Abandoning the team?
Never heard something so ridiculous.
Is Sarge in?
- Hello.
We've just been sprucing up the tea room.
- Hello Phillip, how can we help?
- It's probably
not something I should go
into great detail about. You know.
In front of a lady.
- Phillip, why don't you join
Snowy and I in the cells?
- This is something we've
never had to discuss.
Frankly, I've never found
myself in this position before.
It's all very new to me.
- Well you are of that
particular age group.
- Under 15s. And it's
all happened so fast.
I'm not sure I'm ready for these changes.
- Don't worry son, as
your father, it's my duty
to guide you through this.
- Since Ms. Archer
broke up with his dad,
Egg had been avoiding her.
- Jeffrey?
- Not because he didn't like her,
he just didn't know what to say to her.
Although it wasn't as
if Egg didn't know what
he wanted to say.
- I'm sorry I ruined everything
between you and my dad.
It was entirely my fault,
and I miss having you
and your curries around.
- But instead...
- Nice day, isn't it?
- Yes. It's lovely.
If you're interested,
I've been called upon
to conduct the band for the musical
and I could really do with a guitarist.
- I would, but I'm already booked.
You're looking at Robeot.
- I didn't know you were an actor.
- I'm not. I'm just hoping
some of Rev's talent
might rub off on me.
I'm sorry.
- So how is he, by the way?
- He's doing great.
- You know, it's not quite the same
without the recorder part,
but you get the general idea.
- Nice one, dad.
- Maybe you should take up the recorder.
That way, you and I can jam together.
What do you think?
- I think you've got to
get out of the house.
And that t-shirt.
- You know you may have
a point there, Jeffrey.
All I need is a good reason
to get out of the house
and I'm all set.
- Dad? What would you say
if I got a big gig for you?
As lead guitarist in a
new theatre spectacular.
- I think we need to face the truth.
Phillip is on the cusp of manhood,
the threshold of the great beyond.
I think you two need to have a chat.
- No. I can't chat with Phillip.
I can't even chat about chatting,
not after the chat I had with Lockie.
No, no, you have to have
the chat with Phillip
and I'll have the chat with Blob when Blob
is ready for chatting.
Here, Sarge.
- No, no, no. I can't.
I'm not ready.
- Sarge? All you have to
do is take Phillip aside,
have a little heart to
heart, explain the changes
that he's going through
or catch him off guard
when he least expects it.
Hand him the book and back out of there.
In, out, done.
- Deny thy father and
get with the programme,
which is human android version 1.0.
- Rehearsals had
begun, but Egg wasn't prepared.
He hadn't even read the script.
- Um, roger that. I'm
receiving your signal
and it's...
- It's a big affirmative from me!
Meaning you're feeling
exactly the same way she does,
you're ready to commit.
- Egg knew what the line meant.
He just wasn't ready to say it.
- And then you move in for the kiss!
Woman and robot.
- Move in for what?
- Your first kiss!
- There's more than one?
- It's the greatest love story ever told.
- I've gotta run.
- Jeffrey?
- Ms. Twaddle's play is a kiss fest.
It's like every time she
didn't understand a word,
she replaced it with a kiss.
- How many?
- Let's just say, she didn't
understand a lot of words.
- Just as well we're not in it.
- There you are!
You must be disappointed I
couldn't find parts for you
in my opus.
- Yeah.
- What a shame.
- If you only had a scaric of talent,
I could have done more.
However, in the unlikely event of injury
or malaria outbreak, I'd
like you both to understudy.
- What?
We have to learn other people's lines,
even though we won't get on stage.
- Yes, all the parts except the nurse.
- That makes our jobs easier.
- It'll give you plenty
of time to work on the sets.
Well, they're not going
to build themselves.
I've arranged with the
cleaners for you to stay
after hours all week.
- Hello.
What are you doing here?
- Rehearsals for the new hot band.
Part of the theatre spectacular.
- Theatre spectacular?
- Yeah.
Looks more like a school
musical situation to me.
Not that there's anything
wrong with a school musical.
- Did Jeffrey happen
to tell you about this?
- He said the conductor
urgently needed a guitarist
and had asked for me specifically.
I'm sure Jeffrey means well by this,
but don't feel you have to stay.
- No, not at all. I'll stay.
I've changed my t-shirt, after all.
- The stage was perfectly set,
but the Rev was still
messing up his lines.
And he wasn't the only one.
- Now there comes a
time in every bee's life
when he grows wings.
And he wants to leave
the hive and head out
into the big bad world
whereupon he may discover
that he wants to fly
with the birds amongst other creatures.
One day, Phillip, that bee will be you.
With that in mind, I present to you...
The little green book.
Any questions?
I've got nothing.
- Sarge? What seems to be the emergency?
- No one could figure
out what to say that day
but if life were like a musical, well,
it'd be a different story.
- Spit it out, dear.
- She's right.
But sadly, life isn't a musical.
- I'm going to tell you about
- Sarge, why are you singing?
- I have to head out.
Once of Mrs. Gurgly's Siamese
is stuck up a jackaranda.
- Siamese? What, you have a death wish?
- It's Mitsy, the one with no teeth.
- No, I do not want you going
out there without backup.
Um, if you've got any questions,
just have a look in the book.
Anything you need to know,
just ask your mother.
Right, let's go.
- Man, there is a lot of kissing in this.
No wonder Egg is freaking out.
- I still don't know why Sarge thought
the little green book would help.
- I don't see how that little green book
helps with anything. It's pretty intense.
- Have you seen what's on page 56?
- Is it a diagram of someone
turning off the lights
so their brother can get some sleep?
- No. No it certainly is not.
- Big day Saturday.
- It's not often you have one
son performing in a musical
and the other son's got
a big netball match?
- It's a shame we can't
be in two places at once.
I mean, they both
deserve our full support.
Phillip, in particular, may
require special guidance,
extra supervision.
- Toughen up, Sarge.
Finish what you started.
You're going to that netball
match, end of discussion.
- The big day finally arrived:
the opening of the musical,
which meant for Egg,
his time was up.
- Any thoughts?
- I'm silver now for 35 minutes.
- Your response is due
before the show starts.
- You should have made that clear earlier.
- You're enjoying this, aren't you?
- It's time, please! Gather
round, quickly, quickly!
Today is the day. It's
time to seize the moment.
Group hug. Arms up! Hug, hug. Come on.
- Robeot, Robeot,
wherefore art thou Robeot?
And not like a real person instead,
deny thy father and get with
the programme, which is...
Which is...
- And for the first time ever,
Sasha was lost for words.
- Human android romance version 1.0
- I can't do this!
- Juliet, Juliet! Juliet, come back!
- What's going on, Blob?
- Here, take this.
- I don't know the lines.
What am I supposed to say?
- Don't ask me. Sasha!
- Um, look yonder, I think
I see minstrels approaching.
Play something, anything.
- You're on.
- I'm not going out there
- You're right. Not in that outfit.
- Meanwhile, Sarge had decided
it was time to toughen up.
- It's secured?
- Check.
- See you, Sarge.
- Wait, you don't have any other questions
about anything? Maybe something you read
in a book, for example?
- Well, there is one thing I might need.
Why did you give me the little green book
in the first place?
- Well, like I
said, there comes a time
in every young bee's life when...
- When they want to quit the netball team
and don't know how to break the news?
- That's the problem? In its entirety?
That's it?
- I have to move on, Sarge.
Netball is getting in the way
of my scientific pursuits.
The girls will be devastated.
- Well, all you could
do is explain to them
how you feel, honestly.
- Phillip!
- Can you be a bit more specific?
- Well, no, not really. There's not really
a little green book for
this so you're just going
to have to speak from the heart.
Go.
- Ladies, it's time we had a chat.
- And Sarge was right.
If you speak from your heart,
you always get the lines right.
And in those moments, well
maybe life can be like a musical.
- Honestly, we'll be okay.
- So let's start anew today
- I do like you, Sasha. I like you a lot.
But how do you know this won't end badly?
Really, really badly?
Like Robeot and Juliet?
- This is real life Egg, not a play.
What's that racket?
- Hearing Rev and
Ms. Archer jamming again,
Egg realised maybe there
can be such a thing
as a happy ending after all.
- So this whole needy emotional thing,
this isn't how you'd be
all the time from now on?
If I accepted your offer?
- As if. I'll be too busy nagging you
to feel sorry for myself.
- You really mean that?
- Unless I could
memorise the whole script
in 20 seconds, I was set for
major public humiliation.
What, this couldn't be Mel.
She's someone I surf with,
burp with, fight with.
She couldn't possibly be...
You're a girl.
- You haven't learned
your lines, have you?
- I don't think that would
matter much right now.
- Quickly, get out there!
- Someone had to save the show.
And even though I didn't know my lines,
suddenly the thought of kissing
Mel didn't seem so awful.
Maybe I could do this.
- Lockie, stop. I'm back
- What a relief.
- Yeah, totally.
Yeah!
- Brush your teeth next time.
- So if life
can be like a musical
I figured maybe it was
time I tried to create
a musical moment of my own.
- Are you kidding me? That's
so not going to happen.
- What? I was just trying to
reenact the musical, you know?
The final finale?
Life's better as a song,
add a dance, can't go wrong.
- Come on loser, let's go.
- Truth is, life
is better than a musical.
You might not always know
the right words to say,
or when to say them, that's
what makes it so good.
Because when you get
it right, it's awesome.
("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)
were like a musical -
weeks of preparation,
plenty of time to make sure
you've learned all your lines,
so when the big moment comes along,
you're able to say
exactly what you need to.
- Clark!
Ashtray, move it!
- Like, I don't want to play
net ball with you anymore.
Or other tricky things like I miss you.
So why would something
as random as a musical
pop into my head anyway?
- Life is like a musical.
My new adaptation of Shakespeare's
so-called masterpiece,
Romeo and Juliet, is
entitled Robeot and Juliet.
A musical.
- Ms. Twaddle was ready to make
her dream a reality.
Sadly for the rest of
us, it was shaping up
to be more like a nightmare.
- Set far off in the future, where robot
and man shall coexist.
It's against this
backdrop, we bring together
the timeless tale of tragic young love,
featuring two unlikely
heroes from opposite sides
of the tracks.
- Egg knew all about
the wrong side of the tracks.
He'd just been released
from enrichment class,
home to the school's morally malnourished.
- May I see your re-entry papers?
- Egg was nervous about returning
to regular classes again.
The endless questions
about where he'd been,
the pain of an old questions' maths test.
- You're free to proceed.
But one false step and you'll be sent
back to where you came from.
No questions asked!
- But most of
all, Egg was nervous
about seeing Sasha.
See, recently she gave him an ultimatum.
- Now, I've expressed interest
in becoming your girlfriend
and you have yet to
respond to my proposal.
If I don't receive a
response by close of business
end of calendar month, the
offer will be withdrawn
and I'll return to ignoring you.
This is called a deadline, Egg.
- Robeot, Robeot,
wherefore art thou Robeot?
- It's Egg. Remember?
- Like our android hero, you
too have recently emerged
from a troubled time in a faraway land!
You are Robeot!
Juliet, I have found your leading man.
Don't you and Sasha make a lovely couple?
- Relationships, they'll do
in and while you end them.
And only end in tears once it's all over.
And even then, you're still traumatised.
I mean, look at Rev.
Once you calling each
other's names, one starting
with B or G.
It's all over.
- But Egg, you're acting needy now.
If you like Sasha, just
say so and get over it.
Besides, it's not like
you can avoid her now.
Robeot.
- Phillip.
- Sam, what a surprise.
Didn't expect to see you here.
- Call me coach, at least
till after the finals.
So, will we see you down
at the court this Saturday?
You missed last week's game.
You're not planning on leaving us
in the lurch again, are you?
- Me? Abandoning the team?
Never heard something so ridiculous.
Is Sarge in?
- Hello.
We've just been sprucing up the tea room.
- Hello Phillip, how can we help?
- It's probably
not something I should go
into great detail about. You know.
In front of a lady.
- Phillip, why don't you join
Snowy and I in the cells?
- This is something we've
never had to discuss.
Frankly, I've never found
myself in this position before.
It's all very new to me.
- Well you are of that
particular age group.
- Under 15s. And it's
all happened so fast.
I'm not sure I'm ready for these changes.
- Don't worry son, as
your father, it's my duty
to guide you through this.
- Since Ms. Archer
broke up with his dad,
Egg had been avoiding her.
- Jeffrey?
- Not because he didn't like her,
he just didn't know what to say to her.
Although it wasn't as
if Egg didn't know what
he wanted to say.
- I'm sorry I ruined everything
between you and my dad.
It was entirely my fault,
and I miss having you
and your curries around.
- But instead...
- Nice day, isn't it?
- Yes. It's lovely.
If you're interested,
I've been called upon
to conduct the band for the musical
and I could really do with a guitarist.
- I would, but I'm already booked.
You're looking at Robeot.
- I didn't know you were an actor.
- I'm not. I'm just hoping
some of Rev's talent
might rub off on me.
I'm sorry.
- So how is he, by the way?
- He's doing great.
- You know, it's not quite the same
without the recorder part,
but you get the general idea.
- Nice one, dad.
- Maybe you should take up the recorder.
That way, you and I can jam together.
What do you think?
- I think you've got to
get out of the house.
And that t-shirt.
- You know you may have
a point there, Jeffrey.
All I need is a good reason
to get out of the house
and I'm all set.
- Dad? What would you say
if I got a big gig for you?
As lead guitarist in a
new theatre spectacular.
- I think we need to face the truth.
Phillip is on the cusp of manhood,
the threshold of the great beyond.
I think you two need to have a chat.
- No. I can't chat with Phillip.
I can't even chat about chatting,
not after the chat I had with Lockie.
No, no, you have to have
the chat with Phillip
and I'll have the chat with Blob when Blob
is ready for chatting.
Here, Sarge.
- No, no, no. I can't.
I'm not ready.
- Sarge? All you have to
do is take Phillip aside,
have a little heart to
heart, explain the changes
that he's going through
or catch him off guard
when he least expects it.
Hand him the book and back out of there.
In, out, done.
- Deny thy father and
get with the programme,
which is human android version 1.0.
- Rehearsals had
begun, but Egg wasn't prepared.
He hadn't even read the script.
- Um, roger that. I'm
receiving your signal
and it's...
- It's a big affirmative from me!
Meaning you're feeling
exactly the same way she does,
you're ready to commit.
- Egg knew what the line meant.
He just wasn't ready to say it.
- And then you move in for the kiss!
Woman and robot.
- Move in for what?
- Your first kiss!
- There's more than one?
- It's the greatest love story ever told.
- I've gotta run.
- Jeffrey?
- Ms. Twaddle's play is a kiss fest.
It's like every time she
didn't understand a word,
she replaced it with a kiss.
- How many?
- Let's just say, she didn't
understand a lot of words.
- Just as well we're not in it.
- There you are!
You must be disappointed I
couldn't find parts for you
in my opus.
- Yeah.
- What a shame.
- If you only had a scaric of talent,
I could have done more.
However, in the unlikely event of injury
or malaria outbreak, I'd
like you both to understudy.
- What?
We have to learn other people's lines,
even though we won't get on stage.
- Yes, all the parts except the nurse.
- That makes our jobs easier.
- It'll give you plenty
of time to work on the sets.
Well, they're not going
to build themselves.
I've arranged with the
cleaners for you to stay
after hours all week.
- Hello.
What are you doing here?
- Rehearsals for the new hot band.
Part of the theatre spectacular.
- Theatre spectacular?
- Yeah.
Looks more like a school
musical situation to me.
Not that there's anything
wrong with a school musical.
- Did Jeffrey happen
to tell you about this?
- He said the conductor
urgently needed a guitarist
and had asked for me specifically.
I'm sure Jeffrey means well by this,
but don't feel you have to stay.
- No, not at all. I'll stay.
I've changed my t-shirt, after all.
- The stage was perfectly set,
but the Rev was still
messing up his lines.
And he wasn't the only one.
- Now there comes a
time in every bee's life
when he grows wings.
And he wants to leave
the hive and head out
into the big bad world
whereupon he may discover
that he wants to fly
with the birds amongst other creatures.
One day, Phillip, that bee will be you.
With that in mind, I present to you...
The little green book.
Any questions?
I've got nothing.
- Sarge? What seems to be the emergency?
- No one could figure
out what to say that day
but if life were like a musical, well,
it'd be a different story.
- Spit it out, dear.
- She's right.
But sadly, life isn't a musical.
- I'm going to tell you about
- Sarge, why are you singing?
- I have to head out.
Once of Mrs. Gurgly's Siamese
is stuck up a jackaranda.
- Siamese? What, you have a death wish?
- It's Mitsy, the one with no teeth.
- No, I do not want you going
out there without backup.
Um, if you've got any questions,
just have a look in the book.
Anything you need to know,
just ask your mother.
Right, let's go.
- Man, there is a lot of kissing in this.
No wonder Egg is freaking out.
- I still don't know why Sarge thought
the little green book would help.
- I don't see how that little green book
helps with anything. It's pretty intense.
- Have you seen what's on page 56?
- Is it a diagram of someone
turning off the lights
so their brother can get some sleep?
- No. No it certainly is not.
- Big day Saturday.
- It's not often you have one
son performing in a musical
and the other son's got
a big netball match?
- It's a shame we can't
be in two places at once.
I mean, they both
deserve our full support.
Phillip, in particular, may
require special guidance,
extra supervision.
- Toughen up, Sarge.
Finish what you started.
You're going to that netball
match, end of discussion.
- The big day finally arrived:
the opening of the musical,
which meant for Egg,
his time was up.
- Any thoughts?
- I'm silver now for 35 minutes.
- Your response is due
before the show starts.
- You should have made that clear earlier.
- You're enjoying this, aren't you?
- It's time, please! Gather
round, quickly, quickly!
Today is the day. It's
time to seize the moment.
Group hug. Arms up! Hug, hug. Come on.
- Robeot, Robeot,
wherefore art thou Robeot?
And not like a real person instead,
deny thy father and get with
the programme, which is...
Which is...
- And for the first time ever,
Sasha was lost for words.
- Human android romance version 1.0
- I can't do this!
- Juliet, Juliet! Juliet, come back!
- What's going on, Blob?
- Here, take this.
- I don't know the lines.
What am I supposed to say?
- Don't ask me. Sasha!
- Um, look yonder, I think
I see minstrels approaching.
Play something, anything.
- You're on.
- I'm not going out there
- You're right. Not in that outfit.
- Meanwhile, Sarge had decided
it was time to toughen up.
- It's secured?
- Check.
- See you, Sarge.
- Wait, you don't have any other questions
about anything? Maybe something you read
in a book, for example?
- Well, there is one thing I might need.
Why did you give me the little green book
in the first place?
- Well, like I
said, there comes a time
in every young bee's life when...
- When they want to quit the netball team
and don't know how to break the news?
- That's the problem? In its entirety?
That's it?
- I have to move on, Sarge.
Netball is getting in the way
of my scientific pursuits.
The girls will be devastated.
- Well, all you could
do is explain to them
how you feel, honestly.
- Phillip!
- Can you be a bit more specific?
- Well, no, not really. There's not really
a little green book for
this so you're just going
to have to speak from the heart.
Go.
- Ladies, it's time we had a chat.
- And Sarge was right.
If you speak from your heart,
you always get the lines right.
And in those moments, well
maybe life can be like a musical.
- Honestly, we'll be okay.
- So let's start anew today
- I do like you, Sasha. I like you a lot.
But how do you know this won't end badly?
Really, really badly?
Like Robeot and Juliet?
- This is real life Egg, not a play.
What's that racket?
- Hearing Rev and
Ms. Archer jamming again,
Egg realised maybe there
can be such a thing
as a happy ending after all.
- So this whole needy emotional thing,
this isn't how you'd be
all the time from now on?
If I accepted your offer?
- As if. I'll be too busy nagging you
to feel sorry for myself.
- You really mean that?
- Unless I could
memorise the whole script
in 20 seconds, I was set for
major public humiliation.
What, this couldn't be Mel.
She's someone I surf with,
burp with, fight with.
She couldn't possibly be...
You're a girl.
- You haven't learned
your lines, have you?
- I don't think that would
matter much right now.
- Quickly, get out there!
- Someone had to save the show.
And even though I didn't know my lines,
suddenly the thought of kissing
Mel didn't seem so awful.
Maybe I could do this.
- Lockie, stop. I'm back
- What a relief.
- Yeah, totally.
Yeah!
- Brush your teeth next time.
- So if life
can be like a musical
I figured maybe it was
time I tried to create
a musical moment of my own.
- Are you kidding me? That's
so not going to happen.
- What? I was just trying to
reenact the musical, you know?
The final finale?
Life's better as a song,
add a dance, can't go wrong.
- Come on loser, let's go.
- Truth is, life
is better than a musical.
You might not always know
the right words to say,
or when to say them, that's
what makes it so good.
Because when you get
it right, it's awesome.
("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)