Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 2, Episode 1 - New and Improved - full transcript

("The Best Thing" by Kram)

- You don't
have to agree with this.

It's your call.

The white sand, blue sky, and big surf.

Where else would you wanna be?

("The Best Thing" by Kram)

Yup, after one whole year at
Angelus, it was still official.

This tiny little town
in the middle of nowhere

had the best waves you could find,

anywhere.

Unfortunately, same couldn't
be said about the school.



And after this weekend, Lockie
Leonard was due to head back

to the dangerous, untamed
wilderness of Angelus High,

for day one of the new school year.

If last year was anything to go by,

there will be predators to
avoid, like feral bogans,

always at the ready to flush
your head down the toilet.

And worse, teachers, whose life ambition

is to make your life even
more miserable than their own.

And so now, for the weird thing.

For the first time in my life,

I was actually looking forward
to going back to school.

I know what you're thinking.

Has Lockie finally lost his mind?

Well, yes and no.



Let me walk you through the details.

Okay, deep breath.

Vicki Streeton.

The girl who makes me forget basic words,

and makes my toenails ache.

The girl, who after a year of
seemingly endless disasters,

has somehow miraculously
become my girlfriend.

The last time I spoke to Vicki
was moments before she left

on some family holiday to the
States, for the whole summer.

There had never been a better time

to tell her exactly how I felt.

Something memorable
she could take with her

for the six weeks.

- Don't forget to get me a t-shirt.

- What I
really meant to say was,

I'm going to miss you so much.

But I didn't.

That's why I'm hanging
out for school to start.

So I can see Vicki and tell her

all the things I meant to say.

However, Mom wasn't as keen

for the new school year to begin.

- Poo.

- What's that, Joy?

- Hate it.

Hate it, hate it, hate it.

The end of summer, the
beginning of a new school year.

All the.

- All good things must
come to an end.

- School lunches to make,
school uniforms to iron

and all that homework
night after night after night.

- Joy, nobody does Lockie's
homework better than you.

- But I really let myself down last year.

You saw his school report.

- Sarge could see
Mom's spirits needed a lift.

Which meant, it was time
for a Leonard family

inspirational address.

- Team, I feel something.

There is definitely
something in the air, all right.

Why else this feeling of excitement,

this gnawing in my belly,

this sense that opportunity
is knocking at the door.

Hang on.

Could it be that just around the corner,

is the thrill of the future.

All of our astounding
achievements as yet undreamt,

will be ours this year,
our second year in Angelus,

when things can only be
but new, and improved.

Of course there will be
challenges faced for some.

But remember,

we are Leonards.

And so I give you the
Leonard family toast.

- But we've already put away the cups.

- To adventure.

- To adventure.

- For Phillip,

the adventures were just beginning.

He was about to start
high school, a year early.

- Soon I'll be saying
goodbye to childhood things

and hello to secondary education.

Can you just imagine it, Cyril?

The Science block, the lab coats,

and Phillip Leonard, sitting
down with the finest minds

of our generation.

Can you imagine?

- I didn't want
to rain on Phillip's parade

but pretty soon, I'd
have to break the news

it was Angelus High he
was going to, not NASA.

Here it was, it had finally arrived.

Proof I had nothing to worry about.

Hard evidence all was
well between Vicki and me.

A postcard.

- Hi Lockie, Here is
a view of the Grand Canyon.

We were here today.

It's very spectacular.

Bye, now.

Love, Vicki.

- So it was a bit brief.

But I'm sure Vicki would have
said more if there was room.

I mean it's hard to fit "I miss you" and

"I've been thinking about you all summer"

on a tiny little postcard, right?

- What?

- In the meantime,

I must have read that
postcard a thousand times,

trying to figure out what
Vicki meant to say but didn't.

- Hi Lockie.

Hi Lockie.

Hi Lockie.

Hi Lockie.

Hi Lockie.

Bye now. Bye now.

Love, Vicki.

Love, Vicki.

Bye, now. Love, Vicki.

- Or maybe her
dad was checking on her mail

before she posted it.

And she had been forced to
send me a message in code.

- You
need to wear spectacles.

Hide all your green crayons.

Hey hot boy. Can't wait.

- Let's do the math.

How long as Vicki been away?

Six weeks.

And how many postcards have you got?

One.

Have you ever thought
that that's Vicki's way

of letting you know,

you're dropped?

- No, never thought that. Ever.

- Thought so.

- At least I knew I could rely

on my supportive parents for reassurance.

- No, I wouldn't think that's the case.

Not for a minute.

I mean, put yourself in Vicki's shoes.

She's out and about all day, sightseeing.

First you've got to find a
postcard, and a pen, and a stamp.

I mean, how often do you find
yourself looking for a pen?

I can't count the number
of times I've found myself

looking for a pen.

- If Vicki were heartless
enough to put you through

the gut-wrenching agonies
of separation, the minx.

Well then, know that your
family is here for you

with all the support
and unconditional love

that you will need to
survive such a crippling,

devastating...

Not that she's going to do that.

- Why, yes. Looking good.

- Lockie was a lot
bigger than you, Phillip

when he started high school.

But there's plenty of room to grow.

Sarge?

- Plenty of room to grow.

- You're not sending him to
school like that, are you?

He'll get.

- What's not to like?

- You don't think it
makes you look a little...

- Distinguished? Commanding.

- Commanding. Yes, yes exactly.

- I'll bet Angelus High hasn't seen

anything like this before.

- And for good reason.

School was starting tomorrow,

and Phillip would be crushed like a bug.

And the even more
devastating thought hit me.

I still hadn't heard from Vicki.

I couldn't take the
uncertainty any longer.

I had to know where I stood with Vicki.

- What do you know Cyril.

We seem to have ended up at Vicki's house.

Maybe we should just pop
in and check if she's home?

- Maybe this was a good sign.

Maybe Cyril's luck with the
ladies would rub off on me too.

But the truth was, with Vicki and me,

I had no idea what reception
I was going to get.

- Lockie! I missed you!

- Like this?

Or like this?

- It's you.

Yeah.

I'll see you later.

Or like this?

- Hey! Yeah, the States were great.

Great, I mean, what can I say?

I wish I could go back tomorrow.

Yeah, 'cause I just met so many
really, really great people.

Like really, really interesting kinda,

hot guys.

- Anybody home?

- After ringing
the front doorbell 11 times,

I finally gave up.

Sadly this could only mean one thing.

Before their holiday, Vicki's
parents had been all fired up

about packing her off to an
exclusive boarding school

in the city.

- For over 50 years,

graduates of the Dame Hilda
Micklethwaite Ladies College

have stood astride the world's stages,

leaders of industry,
the sciences, commerce,

and once or twice, even the arts.

- Yes, but where's the bit
again about dating opportunities

with the sons of
unscrupulous mining giants

or fabulously wealthy stock brokers?

- Uhm...

- Suddenly
I wasn't looking forward

to heading back to school anymore.

- I know how you feel.

- Like all
the other kids in town,

my best friend, Egg, was
packing away summer memories

and looking to fit into
a new pair of shoes.

- Dad, I don't know how you--

- What do you say Eggs now?

Lots of support?

- Thing was,

Egg's mom had won some ginormous art prize

and relocated to Scandinavia indefinitely.

Which meant she wouldn't be around

to witness the start of the school year

or anything much at all, for a while.

- Okay, Geoffrey.

New shoes, tick.

Lunch, tick.

And look, you're going to
have some fun with these.

Sandwiches, with hundreds
and thousands, aye?

- Great, dad. Excellent.

- Now then. Stationery.

- Hey, listen Dad.

Maybe I should choose my own stuff.

I know how busy you get.

- Hey, Geoffrey.

You and me, father and son.

We're solid.

If we don't have time for each other,

we're not much of a team, are we?

- Yeah, I know that.

But you don't need to feel you have to do

everything Mom did for me.

- I don't.

- Of course you don't.

Mom never knew when I
had to go back to school.

I always had to tell her.

- I never know you did.

But in its own special way,
Mom's complete lack of interest,

it was one of our family traditions.

But Geoff, from now on, you and me,

we're going to be creating a
whole new bunch of traditions,

all of our own.

- I blame myself, Sarge.

I wish I'd never had agreed
to have Phillip accelerated.

- He read every book
in the library, twice.

- Well then they could jolly
well buy more books then.

- Well, he'd read them too.

- Lockie had a hard enough time

fitting into high school last year.

And yet I have willingly set Phillip up

for this same painful fate.

Why do I insist on repeating
this family's misery

time and time again.

- One vital variable
you are forgetting, Joy,

is Phillip has an older
brother looking out for him.

- Lockie?

You really think Lockie
can make a difference?

- What self-respecting delinquent

would pick on Phillip Leonard

knowing his big brother had his back?

- Hold on,
I didn't ask for this.

It's gonna be hard enough
watching my own back as it is.

- Should I take in my Mars Rover tomorrow?

I'd like to show the head
of the science faculty,

get his opinion.

- Maybe you should just
leave it for a day or two.

You don't wanna fire all your
big guns on the first day.

- Good thinking.

I shouldn't intimidate support staff

who needs to be working together all year.

Something simpler, perhaps?

What about my transportable ant farm?

- I don't think so.

The school has a strict no pets policy.

So, wouldn't wanna take the risk.

- Thanks for the heads up.

But I'm pretty confident I
can argue a clear distinction

between pets and research subjects.

The ant farm it is.

- Poor Phillip.

He had no idea what was
really up ahead of him.

Unlike everyone else in town

who were tucking themselves into bed,

dreading the start of the new school year.

Well, almost everybody.

- 11 hours 'til showtime.

- Yes!

Lockie, today's the day.

You're finally coming home.

- I'm thinking

if I couldn't improve my own
prospects for the new year,

I could at least try to improve Phillip's.

- Morning, all.

- Phillip, what happened to your shirt?

- Okay, I may
have been a bit scissor-happy.

- I must've had a growth
spurt in my sleep.

It was like my body knew

it was time to step up to the plate.

- Couldn't let him go to
school looking the way he did.

- And this is better?

- No.

Phillip, you'll stay home
today with me and Blob.

All day, maybe longer.

- Don't worry, Mom, I've got it covered.

- Mom was right.

If Phillip had looked ridiculous before,

now he's inviting every
feral bogan in the schoolyard

to take a swipe at him.

("The Best Thing" by Kram)

- Now you're sure you don't want me

to walk to school with you?

- Sure, Dad.

- All right, go straight there, Geoff.

And be careful on the roads.

Geoff!

Be sure to finish your
lunch, every bit of it.

- Bye, Dad.

("The Best Thing" by Kram)

- Remember what I said?

Stick close to me at all times.

Okay.

Let's go.

- Wait, Lock.

I want to save the moment.

- Can't let him go
inside looking like that.

Not on his first day.

He'll end up with his head
shoved down a toilet like yours.

- I know.

- And it's not like
you're going to be able

to fight all his battles for him.

It's a jungle out there.

Every man for himself.

- Hey.

- Okay, Lock.

Cue, music.

I'm ready.

("The Best Thing" by Kram)

- For a moment I
thought we got away with it.

But then when the attack
came, it came out of nowhere.

A pack of feral bogans
swooping out of the sun.

- Wait, what up, hang on.

We did this all last year.

- Action replay,
action replay, action replay

- Let that boy down.

- Vicki! And what's more,

she was wearing an Angelus High uniform.

- I said, put the boy down.

- Yes, I see, some high school fun, is it?

Very good.

It's always good to let off steam.

- Lockie, your mouth.

It's gaping.

It looks really unattractive.

- Hi Lockie. Happy new year.

- So good to see you.

- Same.

- 'Cause like, it's
been...

- Breathe
slowly, you're going red.

- Sorry it's just, I've been
thinking about you all summer.

- Really?

- Have you been thinking
about you all summer?

I mean, thinking about...

- I've been thinking about you too.

- I thought you might have
forgotten about me altogether.

- Really?

- Yeah, and everything I said
last time we were together.

- Got you a t-shirt.

- But I mean, all the other stuff I said,

and meant to say, but didn't.

- I remember what you said,

and meant, Lockie.

- It's just that I didn't
actually hear from you though,

the whole time you were in the States.

- You didn't get my postcards?

- Yeah.

The postcard, it was awesome.

Really great. Loved it, Grand Canyon.

- What about all the rest?

- There were more?

- Yeah.

- What have we here?

I know somebody who's going to be

a very happy little boy.

- Couldn't believe how much
I missed having you around.

- Same.

- Yeah, same.
- Same.

- Vicki and me,
we're made for each other.

We're a perfect fit.

And so are Phillip and
high school, it turns out.

Like Sarge had said,

the future was waiting just
around the corner for all of us.

- First impressions,

facilities, yeah it's reasonable.

Support staff, yes, so-so.

But there's a lot more work ahead of me

if I'm going to turn Angelus High

into a world class centre of innovation.

What about you, Lockie?

What do you think this
coming year will bring?

- The coming year?

I don't know Phillip, no idea.

All I'll say is that it's gonna
be new, and very improved.

("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)