Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 1, Episode 5 - Cyril - full transcript

Lockie questions why his dad Sarge insists on being so "different". It's hard enough fitting into a new town without Sarge drawing attention to the family -- like insisting the thing they need is a pet sheep named Cyril.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
This is Cyril, the sheep.

He's our pet.

As in Cryil, our pet sheep.

And this is Phillip, my brother.

As in my brother, the mad inventor.

- Okay, looking good, not a problem.

- What the dickens was that Phillip?

- You alright Phillip?

- Science, the last frontier.

Aw, isn't he gorgeous?

- To look at Cyril now,



you'd think butter
wouldn't melt in his mouth,

but man, wasn't always like that.

Cyril was on the slippery slide

before Sarge stepped in

and turned Cyril's life around.

It all began on Sarge's first day at work.

- So we're turning right now
onto Straight and Parade.

This is the town centre,

central business district, what have you.

- Bloody hard.

This is where the heat is on Lisa.

Where the bad guys hang?

- Pretty much.

- So tell me about Lisa.



Interests, hobbies.

What makes Lisa tick?

- Well, I enjoy cooking, netball.

I like making my own clothes.

- Very good.

- And then of course there's my jet ski

and my kickboxing.

And I like to pull
to motors out of trucks

and rebuild the engines.

- Hold on.

- What?

- Bad guy.

- Now,
I've thought about this heaps.

About Sarge's behaviour.

- You do it on purpose, don't you?

- No I don't.

Do what on purpose?

- Being different.

You do it on purpose.

- No I don't.

- Yes you do.

The poetry, and everything.

You try to keep people confused.

- No I don't.

Why would I do that?

- Well, I don't know.

I want you to tell me.

- Granted, I'm not your
everyday policeman.

Admit, to many I must seem
a mass of contradictions.

An enigma, even.

You're wrong to suggest this
is something I somehow...

Cultivate.

- Yes you do.

- What is wrong with a
poem, for heaven's sake?

A rhyme's a crime, is it?

In your book?

- Come on Sarge, it's not just the poetry.

It's your whole attitude.

There he goes, protecting
the good citizens of Angelus,

wearing one brown sock and one green one.

- Difference is dangerous.

That's good.

Thanks Lockie.

I'll keep that in mind

if I want to win the
affections of the younger set.

Stay one of the herd.

- Well, Sarge, it's hard enough
fitting in to a new school

without, you know, standing out.

- If a traffic light didn't stand out,

how would we know when it
was time to move forward?

When it was time to stop?

I'd like to take this
opportunity to thank you all

for making my first day
such a memorable one.

Now, homework.

I'd like you all to read a
poem of your own choosing.

- So
he does do it on purpose.

Well, I hope he does.

'Cause if he isn't doing it on purpose,

it's too scary to think about.

So we get home after
my first day at school

and Sarge's first day at work.

- Here they are.

How was it, guys, exciting?

- A big day for me.

What about you, Phillip, big day?

- Totally large, Sarge.

- Hey! Keep it down in there, Cyril!

Keep it down! Quiet!

How's Blob?

- Yeah, she's just eating some liner.

- Hey, keep it down in there!

I'm warning you!

Phillip, give me a hand.

- You brought a prisoner home?

- Yeah, just keep your wits about you.

Hey, I'm warning you!

- Is he going to be dangerous?

- Well, this fellow's got all
sorts of tricks up his sleeve.

I thought he might keep
the grass down a bit.

- Of course you did, yes.

- Lockie, go and guard the entrance.

- Phillip, you ready?

- Aw, look. He likes it already.

- A sheep.

- Well, technically he's a ram.

- Ram's the word for him, alright.

- I had to arrest him today,

but then I thought, "Hang on.

"We've got the space, need
to keep the grass down.

"The kids'll love him."

- You brought home a sheep.

- Just until somebody claims him.

I've named him Cyril.

- Okay,
so Sarge has crazy ideas.

We're used to that.

But this time with Cyril?

He'd taken things to a whole new level,

and that night, even
Mum had a few questions.

- Anybody else would
have bought a lawn mower.

- Yeah, but that's the
beauty of the thing.

Cyril didn't cost us a cent.

- But in a way, if you'd said,

"Joy, what's it to be?

"A washing machine that works,

"or a sheep?"

I probably would've got
behind the washing machine.

- I've got a feeling about this sheep.

I think Cyril is here for a purpose.

Now, what that purpose is, I don't know.

If you ask me, I doubt I could tell you.

But I wouldn't be surprised
if somewhere down the track,

it turns out old Cyril has a
trick or two up his fleece.

- You do.

You amaze me.

- Yep. Nothing
strange about this family.

Just a pet sheep named Cyril,

a baby sister who
couldn't get enough liner,

and a weird brother who would
try to stay awake all night

so he wouldn't wet the bed.

No problems here.

- Lockie?

- I don't think Mum wants a sheep.

- No.

- To tell the truth, I'm
not all that keen myself.

- Go to sleep, Phillip.

- I doubt I'll get any sleep tonight.

It was pretty traumatic
out there, with Cyril.

I mean, the physical
scars may have healed,

but the emotional scars

are going to take quite a bit longer.

- I
was learning something

about the city and the country.

In the city, you do a weird act,

and you're one among thousands.

Do the same thing in the
country, you're a marked man.

- Sheep dude,
sheep dude, sheep dude.

- And
Angelus was a small town,

where a secret has a short life.

- Sheep
dude, sheep dude, sheep dude.

- Cyril!

- At home,

Cyril wasn't doing himself any favours.

- Cyril!

Cyril!

Cyril!

Cyril!

- Meanwhile,

Phillip seemed to present Cyril

with a different kind of
challenge all together.

Everywhere that Phillip went,

the ram was sure to go.

This included school.

When calm was restored,

after the Angelus Primary School riot,

Mum begged me to go and bring Cyril home.

- Hi.

Lockie Leonard.

- Vicki! Yeah, hi there.

- What are you doing?

- You know, I'm, I was just...

- Walking your sheep?

- Sheep? What, what, what sheep?

I- you mean my sheep.

Yeah, right.

- I heard you got a sheep.

- Yep, well, here he is.

- What did you just say?

- Cool. Where does it live?

- Um well, there's a little bit of lawn

at the back of the...

with the roof on top?

- What was that?

What did he say?

- Sorry. Little brother.

Evil.

- So, where to you live?

- Down there.

- In the swamp?

- Yeah.

- I live up on the hill.

- Well, this is halfway, then.

Between up there and,
you know, down there.

- I better let you get going.

- Fair enough. See ya.

- I'd like that.

- What's it like, kissing
someone with braces?

- Zip it, Phillip.

- That girl's got more wires
than the back of the telly.

- Zip it, Phillip.

- Be like sticking your
tongue in a bird cage.

Blegh!

- Phillip, watch me. Carefully.

- Mum said
it was time for her and Sarge

to have a frank exchange of views.

- If Cyril's becoming destructive,

it is because he is getting bored.

- Bored? Well excuse me

for not being diverting
enough to amuse a sheep.

- Truly, how many
times have we seen it?

Bored teenagers roaming the streets

with nothing to do but get into trouble?

Too many times.

- Goodness me. Well
this explains everything.

No wonder people think
the Leonards are strange.

The mother can't even
keep a sheep entertained.

- Joy, I think you're approaching this

from the wrong direction.

You're seeing burden,
you're not seeing fun.

- Fun?

In the history of the entire world,

whenever pets are brought home,

who is it that ends up
caring for and feeding them?

Is it the father?

No, I don't think it is.

Is it the children?

- Yeah, but it attacks the children.

- No. Mothers do.

Mothers end up caring
for and feeding pets.

- So true, isn't it?

When you think about it?

- Shh.

- And if you wondered why I'm
wearing these clothes?

It's because everything else I own

is at the bottom of a swamp
we call a yard in this place.

- Joy, okay, I agree with you.

I do.

I mean, we're still settling in.

And with that in mind,

I've invited the guys over from
the station for a barbecue.

- A barbecue.

- Yeah.

- When?

- Oop, that'll be them.

- You do this to me
on purpose, don't you?

- Yeah, Wingnut. Good to see ya.

Snowy.

- Alright, Sarge.

- How are ya?

- Good, good.

These are the boys.

Phillip, Lockie,

and this is my wife, Joy.

- Hi Joy.

- Hi.
- That's Snowy and Wingnut.

Come on in. Make yourselves at home.

Lisa not coming?

- Yeah, no, Lisa's coming.

- Good, very good, very good.

- Hi. I'm Phillip.

- Hi. I'm Lisa.

Have Snowy and Wingnut turned up yet?

- No. They're here.

My dad is just taking
them into the...

with the roof on top?

- Sorry?

- Would you like to see my room?

- Yeah.

Gee. Is this yours? It's great.

- Int's just something I
threw together the other day.

- I love science. The final frontier.

- Sorry. I'm gonna have
to sit down for a second.

- So are you gonna be a
scientist when you leave school?

- I thought perhaps an inventor.

I invent things.

Tell me Lisa, what do you do?

- I'm in the police.

- Well of course you are, yes.

I knew that.

- So what have you invented?

- I specialise in explosive devices.

- Really?

- Counter-terrorism measures,
can't say too much really.

- No.

- It's all pretty hush-hush.

- I would've liked to
have been an inventor.

I've always loved playing
around with mechanical things.

- Really?

- Yeah, so as far as I can tell,

Cyril was on his way to the abattoir

and escaped at the last minute.

- Hi.

- Alright.

- Phillip's just showing
me his laboratory.

- Good-o.

So anyone that comes as
close to the chop as that,

anyone, man or beast,

I'd say he's entitled to as
much life as he can handle.

What do you say, Wingnut?

- Well done for me, thanks Sarge.

- Phillip!

- Okay, looking good.

Not a problem.

- Phillip, what have you done?

- That was pretty intense.

- I'm afraid the BT7 is
still at the concept stage.

- And I remember this cute little guy.

Gorgeous, isn't he?

- Yes, he's almost part of the family.

- Nice Cyril, good sheep.

Not too big to be a lamb roast, you know.

- Come on, boy.

- He's taken to you, Phillip.

- One, two, three cans of Coke, I think?

Limeade, or two.

Was it two? I think it was two.

Four cans of Coke,

and that was before I
even looked at the Fanta.

How can I think of a future
with Lisa all the time

and wet the bed?

- Phillip, she's 25, and you're 10.

It's not going to happen.

- 23.

- You asked her?

- Size seven shoes, 34
inch bust, is that good?

I don't know.

I wanted to know everything about her.

Do you think I'm being too pushy?

- Go to sleep, Phillip.

- What's the point,

when the morning will only bring

more despair and humiliation?

- Phillip.

- Let's face it.

I have consumed nearly
five litres of soft drink

in the past 31/2 hours.

Come the morning,

I'm gonna have to paddle my
way out of bed in the canoe.

Yes! Yes! Yeah!

Hallelujah!

Yes! Dry! I'm dry!

Now wait a minute.

Let's be scientific about this.

Why was this morning different?

What was it about
yesterday and last night?

- Ha. Here it is, lanolin.

A fatty substance extracted from wool.

- What does it say about bed-wetting?

- Nothing.

What do you reckon, Sarge?

Do you think it could be
something to do with the lanolin?

- Actually,
Sarge had another theory.

- Well, simply to suggest that

when Phillip confronted
his abject fear of Cyril

and overcame it, perhaps at the same time,

he overcame his fear of wetting the bed.

But if Phillip wants to
think it's the lanolin,

all well and good.

- Can we keep him, Mum? Please?

As long as I rub my hands into his fleece,

I think I can beat this thing. Mum!

- I told you old Cyril

might have a trick or two up his fleece.

- Of course we can.

- Yay!

- And you don't mind if
everyone else in Angelus

thinks we're aliens?

- So the Leonards have a sheep.

You know what?

I feel pretty good about having a sheep.

- Like the apes on the Rock of Gibraltar.

Like the ravens at the Tower of London.

As long as Cyril is in our back yard,

there will be Leonards
living in Angelus.

- That's
the other scary thing

about Sarge.

Somehow, he gets it right.

Somehow, Sarge knew that the
one thing our family needed

to feel good about itself was a sheep.

- Sarge, I hope I'm not out of line here,

I've actually composed a poem of my own.

- Well that's, that's tremendous, Snowy.

I'm tremendously impressed.

Please.

- Sitting in the laundromat

I chanced to look around me

To wonder and to stare

At the people gathered 'bout me

A sight beyond compare

It seemed that we were one humanity

Engaged in common strife

To wash the dirt out from our socks

And lead a cleaner life

And some of us might make it

And some of us might crash

But all of us were trying

At 5 dollars 10 a wash.

- Snowy,

this is what good policing is all about.

Okay, here we go.

Nobody move.

- You can be different,

or you can make a difference.

And some people can do both, like Sarge.

("Worlds Away" by Jebediah)