Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 1, Episode 22 - Angels and Monsters - full transcript

- This
is where I live: Angelus.

Some people believe this
town is protected by angels.

They reckon that's how
the place got its name.

I used to think people who
believed in angels were nuts.

But sometimes angels can appear

in the most unlikely of places.

- So, Phillip; how's the bedwetting going?

- Let's see, I wet my bed Monday night,

I wet my bed Tuesday night,

- There's
a reason I'm sitting here

in the doctor's surgery
in my mother's place.



And that's 'cause mum's in hospital.

And Sarge is at work.

It's no big deal.

It's just how it is at the moment.

- Sunday night; how about you, doc?

How many nights have you wet your bed?

- I don't wet my bed, Phillip.

- Really?

Maybe you should, maybe you both should,

'cause maybe you're the
ones with the problem.

So from now on, no more
drinking banana juice,

or laying on blankets,

or any other wacky ideas.

I wet my bed; it's just how it is.



Accept the scientific evidence I have.

- Just a minute, Lockie.

I wouldn't mind a word.

- Okay, I lied.

Things aren't 100% since mum got sick.

- You wet your bed and
no one kicks up a fuss.

- Anxiety can exacerbate
problems such as bedwetting.

- Like mum being in hospital?

Not much I can do about that.

- A fun distraction could help.

What does he like to do?

- Blow things up?

- There's something else
I'd like to give Phillip.

A positive reinforcement exercise.

Here you go.

- It's a calendar.

It comes with these tickets, see.

When you have a dry night,
you mark it with a sun.

- Like that's gonna
make everything alright.

- It's a way of focusing on the positive.

The doc was right.

Phillip needed cheering
up on a massive scale.

The question was: how to do it.

- Right, listen up please.

Get your registration forms over here,

everybody needs to be registered to enter.

- There we go.

- There you go Lockie.
- Lockie.

- Hey, what's with the new fishing gear?

- Don't you remember?

I love fishing.

- Since when?

- Yo, Lockie!

You entering in the
bream classic, dude?

- That's right!

- Big first prize!

Catch the tagged silver bream,

and you win a thousand bucks.

- I know, the Sarge is on the committee.

- Yeah, dad's been saying
specials prayers all week.

No one else in Angelus has got a chance.

We have God on our side.

- It's gonna be a lot of fun,

isn't that right, Geoffrey?

- Yeah, can't wait.

- You could buy that telescope
you've been dreaming about.

- We've got no chance of winning the comp.

- Less chance if you don't enter.

- Looking good.

Excellent, well done.

Word of caution before we go in;

hospitals can sometimes be a bit...

Well, no, you'll be fine.

Come on.

- Freaky is the word

Sarge didn't use to describe the hospital.

He also didn't say it was
full of horrible smells,

of disinfectant and other
strange, warm smells.

Yep, it was not a place you
wanted your mum to end up.

Vicki?

- Lockie.

- What brings you to
these hospital corridors,

young Streeton?

- I'm just helping out.

- But I better go.

See you, Lockie.

- Bye.

- There goes an angel.

Lock, come on, chop chop.

Well, she mustn't be far.

I'll see if I can track her down.

You boys be alright?

- Yeah.

- This place sucks.

- Archie, my old china plates.

Haven't seen you in years.

- I actually
had seen this guy before.

On a golf course of all places.

- It's my car!

- My name's not Archie.

- Sorry mate, can't hear you!

I have to turn me bike
off.

Any mate of Archie's a mate of mine.

Put it there, brother.

I'm Monster.

Monster was an ex-biker,

who also loved cars.

Philip was a little scared of him,

but he was harmless.

- We used to ride together,
me and my hog here.

Archie here on his Laverda.

Those were the days, Arch?

- I thought it best to go with the flow.

Yeah, those were the days alright.

- Sorry I haven't been around much, Arch.

They keep me tucked away in this joint.

- Lockie, Phillip!

- Gotta go.

See ya round, Monster.

- Like the record, matey.

- Philip was shocked

to find mum happily painting away,

without a care in the world.

He thought: if she was so okay,

why wasn't she home?

Okay, it was art therapy,
and it seemed to be working.

Mum was smiling, so none
of us should've been upset.

- It's the archangel Gabriel,

and he's been coming to visit me.

- Michelangelo, eat your heart out.

- When are you coming home?

- Soon.

- The doctors are still
working out mum's medication.

- You said that yesterday!

- We knew it wasn't mum's fault,

but it didn't stop Phillip being angry,

so I had to step in.

Mum?

Phillip and I are entering
the fishing competition.

- A lovely idea.

- I'll go.

- No, it's okay, I'll go.

- I didn't agree to go fishing.

You're just trying to
pretend everything is normal.

- Don't get upset.

You're not gonna catch that bream anyway.

- What would you know?

- Six time winner.

I'm telling you, you're too young.

You need smelly feet.

Old men's feet, the
more rotten, the better.

It's their toes, dangling in the water.

It attracts the fish.

- Right, so all we need is a boat,

and a rod, and an old man's foot.

- Or, between best mates,
use pink nippers for baits.

Boy, do the bream love them.

- And you won six times?

- Yeah, all you need is a nipper pump,

and any sandy mud bank,
and you get nippers galore.

Time for my pills.

Damn, car-bee's playing up again.

You say hi to the rest of the guys for me.

- We didn't have a snowflakes chance

of catching anything.

But at least it would keep Phillip's mind

out of hospitals and disinfectant.

Look, if we win first prize,

you get to keep the prize money.

- You're on.

- 15 thousand bucks this
little baby cost me.

- 15 grand on a
box that's gonna catch

a thousand dollar fish.

- Kitten, it's not about a fish;

it's about the glory of
coming first.

It's a depth sounder.

Tells me exactly what's
swimming around down there.

With this little baby,

I can pinpoint a pimple on
a crab at a thousand feet.

- I didn't know crabs had pimples.

- When the prize fish
swims under our boat,

I'll hunt it down like a dog.

Marvellous thing, technology.

- Sounds like cheating to me, dad.

- Nonsense, kitten.

It's all about creating
your own bit of luck.

- Split cane.

Belonged to me father.

Would never let me touch the thing.

Always though I'd break it or something.

- The Rev
was hoping an old fishing rod

would somehow bring him
and Egg closer together.

The Rev's plan had two holes in it:

it ignored the fact that
A, Egg hated fishing,

and B, Egg was terrified of the water,

because he couldn't swim.

- Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Bless you, fish.

- Ahoy there, anglers.

Ahoy!

In a moment, I will be launching
the Angelus bream classic.

But before I fire the starter's pistol,

a little neurological nourishment.

- He isn't.

- That's right, a poem.

- He is.

- They stick him here.

They stick him there.

Those an-de-loo-sian anglers,

but they stick him everywhere.

Does he lurk at the harbour
mouth, mouth, mouth, mouth?

Is he hiding in the estuarine
flats, flats, flats, flats?

That damned, elusive silver bream.

Go, run!

Catch that fish!

- And it was on.

The great Angelus fishing comp.

- Mighty fine looking
vessel you got there, boys.

- We rented it from Joel's boat shed.

Cheapest boat he had.

Threw in the nipper pump.

- He felt sorry for us.

- You got everything you need?

- Yep.

- Life jackets?

- Hope so.

- Oars, fresh water, chocolate?

- Chocolate?

- I didn't know we needed any.

- Might want these then.

- Thanks, Sarge.

- No thanks.

- Are you sure?

Okay, well, good luck.

Happy sailing.

- Thanks Sarge.

- See ya.

- Mr Streeton,

with his expensive gear,
had the jump on all of us.

Not that Vicki was impressed.

- Be careful with that reel, Kitten.

That's worth over a grand.

- What does it do?

- It makes omelettes.

What do you think?

- Yeah I know, but I mean,

what does that one do that others can't?

- Well it just does it better.

Like its owner: with class.

- I remember when we
all used to go fishing.

The four of us.

In the little high boat.

And all we had to use were hand reels.

Still had heaps of fun though.

- Did we?

All I can remember is your mother

complaining about how hot it was.

And your brother getting
tangled up in fishing lines.

But, now we got all the
mod cons, plenty of space,

- And half a family?

- What's that, Kitten?

- Any bites?

- Nah.

- You might have more of
a chance if you cast out,

don't you think?

- What?

Yeah.

- That's the way.

Nice being out here, just the two of us.

We should do it more often.

- Yeah.

I think I'm on!

Yes!

I told you this was a good spot!

She's got some weight to it.

- It's a bicycle fish!

- You remember what Monster said,

nippers make the best bait.

- Why should we listen to him?

He think you're some guy called Archie.

- There's one, grab it, quick!

- It bit me!

- Must be why they're called nippers.

Normally, Phillip would
cope with this pain,

but today, on top of all the
other stresses in his life,

it was too much.

Phillip, wait!

Phillip!

- Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.

Come to papa, come to papa.

Come to papa.

Gotcha!

What did I tell you kitten?

Create your own luck.

This little fella's
got a bit of life in him.

- Dad?

- It's alright kitten, I'll tyre him out

and then haul him in!

- Dad, look.

- What's that fool doing!

- We've gotta do something.

- I know, sweetheart,
he's gonna cut the line!

- I wasn't talking about the fish.

- Get away, you fool!

I got the winning fish out there!

No, no, no!

- Wahoo!

- Dad.

- He's busted the line, kitten.

I'll make you pay for that.

- We've gotta call the
hospital, do something.

- Hang on, kitten.

Me fish is still attached to the float!

Hold this, hold that, sit down love.

I'm going in.

Hang on, my lovely,

I'm coming in.

I'm coming, I am coming in!

Gotcha!

It's alright kitten!

I've still got him!

It's not about how you play the game,

it's whether you win!

- Want some chocolate?

- That's just a bribe.

Make us feel better
about mum being a looney.

- Don't say that!

Don't ever say that!

Mum's just sick.

She's going to get better.

- The other guy didn't.

Monster.

- That's 'cause he's taken stuff.

That's affected his brain.

Bad stuff.

Drugs, alcohol.

Mum's got depression.

- So she's really gonna come home?

- She'll be back before you know it.

- Even if she's talking
about seeing angels?

- Well, maybe the angels are real.

- Do you believe in angels?

- Yeah.

- You have an answer to everything,

haven't you, Lockie?

Well tell me this: where's our boat?

- No!

- What are you doing?

- If we don't get it back,

it's gonna drift into the main current.

I'll come back and get you.

- Please, don't Lockie, you'll drown!

- I'm not gonna drown,
I've swum in huge swells.

I'll make it, easy.

- I don't wanna be left alone.

Well come down from the tree then.

- Yes, my love, caught
it just now.

Far too easy.

No one stood a chance.

- Dad?

- Shush kitten, I'm
talking to your mother.

No, it worked out just
how I imagined, my love.

Just how I imagined.

- Probably another snag, dad.

- No, no, not this time.

I can feel it swim!

- Look at it go, dad, it sunk like a rock!

- I've lost grandad's rod!

He'd kill me if he found out!

- What's so funny?

- Well, grandad's dead!

I'm safe!

But let's try and get it back!

You can help me!

- What planet are you on?

I can't swim, remember?

- Of course you can swim, everybody can.

- Maybe everybody can, but I can't.

- But I thought you and Lockie...

Well, what kind of a
father doesn't even know

his own son can't even swim.

Here, hold these.

- It's okay!

Don't panic, don't panic, move your arms.

Don't panic!

Like a dog,
- Help me!

- I said move your arms!

- And
suddenly, miraculously,

the Rev managed to do what I couldn't.

- Yeah!

- Keep moving
your arms, keep kicking.

- I can swim!

Dad, I can swim!

- And the Rev, and Egg,

bonded like they never bonded before.

- Tide's
rising, we've got no boat,

we're gonna drown!

- Then we'll build a raft.

- With what?

There's nothing here but sand and mud!

- What's that?

It's the tagged fish!

Phillip, we caught the winning fish!

- Kitten, where's the fish?

- Hanging over the edge where you left it.

- No it's not.

It's gone!

- Well, you obviously
didn't tie it on properly.

- No!

No!

- Suddenly, everything was alright.

It didn't matter that
we were without a boat,

that mum was in hospital,

or that Phillip still wet the bed.

We had caught the winning fish.

Or, it had caught us.

Who said there were no
such thing as angels?

- What?

That's that Monster guy.

- My mates lost something.

Next time you moor up, Arch,

remember to throw out the anchor?

- What are you doing here?

- Shh, I'm not.

You haven't seen me.

Better get back before I'm missed.

Ice cream and red jelly for dessert!

- Thanks.

- Gotta look after my best mates.

- What about the Easter bunny?

- Sure, why not?

- Easter bilby?

- Yeah.

- So they both work Easter together?

- I guess, yeah.

- So how do they know which one's

going to deliver eggs to which house?

- I dunno.

I suppose they'll work it out beforehand.

They've got the whole year.

- So they speak the same language,

the bunny and the bilby.

- Sure.

- What about leprechauns?

Do they exist?

- In Ireland.

- Have you seen them?

- Haven't been to Ireland, have I.

- Do they speak bilby?

- Shut up.

- Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

despite our best efforts this year

at the Angelus bream classic,

sadly, no one has caught the fish.

I know, this causes me to reflect on...

- Dad!

- Hang on a minute!

Let's have a look!

We'll just check for the tag,
we'll just check for the tag.

Yes, we've got a winner
ladies and gentlemen!

And it's my own flesh and blood,
Phillip and Lockie Leonard.

Amazing, well done boys, well done.

- Hang on a minute.

That's my fish.

I caught that fish, fair and square.

- Don't, dad.

- Tell 'em, tell 'em I
caught the fish, Vicki.

Tell 'em.

- If it's your fish, how come
they're the ones holding it?

It's now got better things to do.

Come on.

- But my prize money!

- They're gonna think you're
a bad sport, we're going.

- Right, anyway, on with the ceremony.

Congratulations, boys.

Give 'em another round of applause.

- In the end,

everything worked out better
than I could've planned.

We got the money, the
fish got his freedom.

Phillip got to buy that telescope.

- Okay, I've got the Southern Cross,

- Okay, track slowly down.

To your right, see?

That's the star of Orion's Belt.

To the left of that is his sword.

- And he
didn't feel so alone any more.