Lockie Leonard (2007–2010): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Human Torpedo - full transcript
Lockie Leonard and his family arrive in their new town, Angelus. Lockie meets and get to know the locals, including Egg, a weird kid from the bogan tribe, and Vicki Streeton, the first girl he's ever met who causes him to forget how to speak. If it weren't for the great waves in Angelus, life would be looking pretty scary.
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough
to get them far away
(slow electronic music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] Oh man, it was true.
The rumours were for real.
It was demented out there.
(waves crashing)
These were the kind of waves you drew
on the back of your maths book.
As in, the kind you only dream of.
And in the circumstances,
there was only one thing to do.
Go in for a closer look.
(mid-tempo electronic music)
Oh yeah, check it out.
The water's chucking a major fit,
but Lockie's in complete control.
Lockie cuts left.
Lockie cuts right.
Lockie pulls a nice re-entry there.
Oh, Lockie's just ripping up that face.
And then, Lockie drops it.
(splashing)
(groaning)
And Lockie nuts himself.
Smack-o in the goolies.
Lockie wants to die now, please.
(groaning)
If it can arranged, please.
(waves crashing)
Status report.
My tricky bits have relocated to the back
of my throat and become my tonsils.
The pain is hideous,
and I'm hallucinating.
♫ Here we go
♫ Were we distracting you?
- I'm in this weird room with Tiffany
and the rest of my favourite girl group.
And they're trying to apply first aid.
♫ Flying off the lip, you
can do almost anything
- [Boy] Hey mate, you okay?
(groaning)
What was that?
- Pain.
- [Boy] Uh-huh.
What happened?
Did you nut yourself in the goolies?
- Tiffany, is that you?
Tiffany?
(chimes and slow rock guitar music)
Okay.
So you can't sing,
you've never been on a reality show,
you don't have a belly
ring, and you're a bloke.
- You gonna stay there?
Like half in and out of the water?
Kind of dead looking.
- Only til I'm 16.
- (laughs) Yo, a sense of humour.
I saw you go out.
You're obviously not very intelligent.
- Uh-huh.
- You're obviously a new kid in town?
- Obviously.
- Feeling lucky, were ya? (laughs)
That reminds me of a funny story.
You'll like this one.
Advert in the paper, right?
This is true.
Lost dog.
Oh, you're gonna love this.
Blind in one eye.
Its left ear has been
bitten off in a fight.
Now, wait a minute.
This dog is missing a leg.
Like the ad goes, answers to
the name of Lockie. (laughs)
Oh, it's so funny.
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Yeah, right, that's me.
Lucky Lockie.
My second day in a new town and so far
life was proving to be one
long whack in the goolies.
Rewind.
(mid tempo relaxed music)
Yesterday afternoon.
- Gorgeous little town, so they tell me.
- Gorgeous, beautiful, yes lovely.
- Oh, and Lockie.
Rumour has it, it has some of
the best surfing on the coast.
- Rumours need more work, Sarge.
- It's like everybody says,
why stay on in the city?
- Because it's our home.
- Why swarm like drones
amid heartless city streets,
when you could be knowing
the warm loving embrace
of a vibrant small town community?
- Uh-oh, we're busted.
- Can I see your licence, driver?
(slow upbeat jazz music)
- Yes, of course.
Would you like me to
step out of the vehicle?
- Do you want to, particularly?
- I'm easy.
Whatever you think.
- Okay then, that would be excellent.
- All right.
Now, what seems to be the problem?
- Well, no offence, but
your roof rack there,
do you think it might be
just a little bit overloaded?
- Yeah, yeah, I think you could be right.
- No, but, sorry?
Look, if you think it's safe,
that's okay with me, Mr. Leonard.
- Sarge.
Sergeant Leonard.
I'm the new police sergeant.
- No, oh no.
- It's all right, constable.
This is my wife, Joy, Lockie, Phillip.
This is Blob in the middle, Barbara.
Old fashioned name but
it seems to do the trick.
- I wasn't expecting you til Monday.
- Oh well, we're here
a couple of days early.
Gotta get the kids off to
school, that sort of thing.
Senior constable Snowden, is it?
- Yes, it's Snowy.
- Snowy, you wouldn't be
able to do us a favour,
would you, and show us the house?
- You haven't seen the house?
- No.
- I have a bad feeling about this.
(dramatic music)
(thunder crashing)
- [Sarge] A lick of paint, some curtains.
(mid-tempo music)
What a lovely man, Joy.
What a lovely, lovely man.
- Yes.
I really am trying to be
cheerful about it, Sarge.
But this bit looks, you know, horrible.
Oh, look at that.
I didn't know you could make
Christmas decorations out of toilet rolls.
- Oh, take it easy, Joy.
There's no need to panic.
This is probably the worst
street in the whole town.
- [Joy] Gorgeous, yes, lovely.
- He's stopping, Dad.
(slow music)
(tyres screeching)
- Is this it?
- Creamy potato and
artichoke salad, mm-mm.
- Joy.
- No, sorry, I'm not looking.
The spirit of Christmas.
Lighten up your dining table
with these easy to make--
- Mum.
It's, well, it's--
- Does it have a two car garage?
What I couldn't do with the extra space.
- [Ned] A lick of paint.
- [Joy] But.
- [Sarge] Some curtains.
- I mean, the whole
street, it's just swamp
(train whistling)
and then more swamp.
(wood thudding)
- Oh.
Let's go inside.
You never know, we might be surprised.
(slow bright music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] The inside
of the house, it was worse.
It was like whoever built
it was a complete idiot.
(house creaking)
The house went all
higgeldy-piggeldy, a bit like Mum.
- This is fun, isn't it? (laughs)
Fun.
And exciting, isn't it? (laughs)
An adventure.
In a new unusual town. (laughs)
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
then there was our room.
(door creaking)
(suspenseful music)
- Dog.
- Wet dog.
- German shepherd?
- (sniffs) Wet german shepherd.
- But wait, there's more.
- I know.
It smells just like our old room
right after you'd wet the bed.
(slow music)
Sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
Delete.
- Why not, it's true.
- Phillip, I'm sorry, all right.
Phillip.
(eerie music)
- [Lockie Voiceover]
It had been a long day.
And to be honest, there
wasn't a lot to show for it.
(house creaking)
- Maybe I should see about getting
the power put on tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
- Maybe.
(dramatic music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] With
dinner out of the way
it was time for a family sing song.
♫ When I see you baby
♫ I go out of my head.
♫ And I just can't get enough
♫ And I just can't get enough
♫ We slip and slide as we fall in love
♫ And I just can't seem to get enough
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
after that we all went to bed.
- Phillip, what is your problem?
- Sorry, can't help it.
- You sound like you're
being snogged to death
by a vacuum cleaner.
- I'm dying of thirst.
- Well here's an idea.
Go get yourself a glass of water.
- I can't.
If I have anything to drink
after five o'clock I, you know--
- Wet the bed?
- Sorry, Lockie.
- Why don't you just try lying down?
- I can't.
If I lie down I'll fall asleep.
- Good.
- If I fall asleep I'll, you know--
- Wet the bed.
- Sorry, Lockie.
- It's okay.
I'm stressed out too.
- You never get stressed.
- [Lockie Voiceover] What,
so it's not scary enough
I'm starting high school
in four days time.
I've got to do it in a weird town
where I don't know a single
soul, not a single face,
not a single man, woman,
boy, girl, dog, cat, or frog.
(frogs croaking)
- Listen, Joy.
The music of the night.
- Those are frogs.
You get frogs in a swamp.
You get hundreds of them.
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
that was interesting.
Because as a rule, Mum
was really fond of frogs.
- Hey, don't knock swamps.
Man emerged from the swamp. (laughs)
(house creaking)
- And any day now this
house is going to go sliding
straight back into one.
- What a lovely word picture you paint.
(slow music)
To think that one night this house
might slowly sink into the slime.
Gloop, gloop, gloop.
And all that would be left would be
our wonky old TV aerial
sticking out of the mud.
And in 1,000 years time
archaeologists would discover us,
the Leonards, homo swampus.
And they would discover, and
this would blow their minds,
that we'd been eating corn chips.
(Joy laughing)
- [Phillip] Oh dear, oh dear.
- Geez, Phillip.
Imagine if you had have had
something to drink last night.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Dad thought
he'd better stay at the house
to see about getting the power turned on.
He was also hopeful the removalist
might eventually arrive with our stuff.
- Bye, Sarge.
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
apparently my new high school
was within easy walking distance.
And since today was enrollment day
we thought we'd give it a shot.
Mistake.
Big mistake.
- [Joy] I'm so sorry, Lockie.
This is going to be really tough on you.
I wish there was more I could do to help.
- [Lockie] Mum, it'll be okay.
I'm only enrolling.
- No, I mean, the whole high school thing.
We cover this in our parent effectiveness
training group all the time.
Lockie, you are taking
your first fledgling steps
towards adulthood.
This is a rite of passage.
- Oh, Mum, I'll be okay.
- But you won't know anybody.
Not another boy, not another girl.
- Dead right, Mum.
Lockie said he was really
stressing about high school.
- No, I didn't.
What, when did I say that?
- Yes you did, last night, you said.
- No, I didn't, Phillip.
I said, high school, that's so cool.
High school, bring it on.
(mid-tempo music)
- Go on.
Go.
- Name?
- Leonard.
- Leonard who?
- Leonard, Lockie.
Lachlan.
Lockie Leonard.
- Well, glad we sorted that out.
Is Lachlan Leonard your full name?
- No.
- Okay.
Next question.
For five points, your full name is.
Oh, I know.
I'm starting with all
the hard ones, aren't I?
- Lachlan Robert Louis Stevenson Leonard.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Yep,
thanks for that, Sarge.
Good thinking.
- Gee.
I'd like to see you try and
fit that on a credit card.
There's your uniform.
Take this form and move
to the next desk along.
Stand behind that girl.
Streeton, first name, Vicki.
(heart beating)
(slow music)
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What's your name?
- Oh, Robert, I mean Robbie.
It's Robbie.
- Vicki Streeton.
- Robbie Williams.
- Your name's Robbie Williams?
- Oh, no, no.
William is my middle name.
It's Robbie William Smiles.
No Miles.
Robbie William Miles.
- I know Brett Miles.
He lives in our street.
Are you from around here?
- Oh, no, no.
We're miles from anywhere.
- So, where do you live?
- Yeah, okay.
I live in a with a roof on top.
- That's good.
- [Lockie Voiceover] This was weird.
I'd seen girls before, obviously.
But they'd never made me
forget the word for house.
- Look, I'd better go.
My belly button's just walked in.
- It has.
- And girls had never made me
forget the word for Dad either.
- Yeah, over there.
He's come to take me back to the um,
with a roof on top.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Okay, status report.
Yes, the power was on.
That was good.
(light switch clicking)
And yes, I just met a girl
who was so cute I couldn't talk straight.
But I'd given her a false name,
so now I could never talk to her again
'cause she'd be assuming I was mad.
- It's all right.
I think you're really funny, and nice.
In fact, I could see us
going on a date tonight.
- Yeah, but you're not even here, are you?
- No, sorry.
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Okay, I was seeing things.
Not good, Lockie.
Time to clear my head.
So I went to see if the
rumours were for real.
(waves crashing)
(groaning)
And here we are, back at the beginning.
And I tell you what,
getting one in the goolies
is a lot like meeting a really cute girl.
It occupies most of your attention,
and it takes some getting over.
I'd experienced both
in the last two hours.
- Sure you don't want
to get out of the water?
- Huh?
- Water, don't know
what surfies see in it.
The name's Egg.
- Lockie.
So, you're a metalhead?
- I like metal music, yeah.
- Don't know what you see in it. (groans)
- Can you walk?
- Walk?
No, of course I can't walk.
When was the last time you got nutted?
- Years ago, in a cricket match.
- Man, I hate cricket.
- Same.
- Don't know what they see
in it. (laughs) (groans)
- What?
- Laughing makes my goolies wobble.
- (laughs) Actually, that
reminds me of a funny story.
Have you heard the one about the--
- Don't, Egg.
(slow music)
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Sympathy alert, family.
Fragile tricky bits.
No sudden movement recommended.
- Yes, I am definitely feeling
so much brighter about things now
that we have all our bits and pieces.
- Bits and pieces. (laughs)
- Feels like home again.
(hand slapping on thigh)
(gasping)
- Sorry, dear.
Did that jangle you?
(sniggering)
Come on, everybody, eat up.
What's the matter,
Lockie, aren't you hungry?
- Nah, sorry Mum.
- I hear that the surf
was really throbbing
down there today.
(giggling)
- Oh thanks, my supportive family.
Revenge will be mine.
(giggling)
(slow piano music)
(train whistling)
- Hm, this is more like it.
- Let the archaeologists do their worst.
We Leonards have got nothing to hide.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Archaeologists?
Yeah, right.
In 1,000 years science might reveal
that Lockie Leonard's tricky bits
had taken a hit from a surfboard
with a nasty dig in the left rail.
But would they be able to tell
he wished he was back in the city
where everything seemed
bigger, and better, and warmer,
and full of friends and good memories?
Or that he'd met a girl
he couldn't talk to,
and a weird kid from the bogan tribe,
the natural enemy of
all surfies everywhere?
Forget it.
No one now or in the future could know
precisely how it felt to be
Lockie Leonard right now,
in this room, tonight,
with all that going on.
- Night, Lockie.
- Good night, Phillip.
("World's Apart" by Jebediah)
♫ Boy is breaking underneath
the weight of strain
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough
to get them far away
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough
to get them far away
(slow electronic music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] Oh man, it was true.
The rumours were for real.
It was demented out there.
(waves crashing)
These were the kind of waves you drew
on the back of your maths book.
As in, the kind you only dream of.
And in the circumstances,
there was only one thing to do.
Go in for a closer look.
(mid-tempo electronic music)
Oh yeah, check it out.
The water's chucking a major fit,
but Lockie's in complete control.
Lockie cuts left.
Lockie cuts right.
Lockie pulls a nice re-entry there.
Oh, Lockie's just ripping up that face.
And then, Lockie drops it.
(splashing)
(groaning)
And Lockie nuts himself.
Smack-o in the goolies.
Lockie wants to die now, please.
(groaning)
If it can arranged, please.
(waves crashing)
Status report.
My tricky bits have relocated to the back
of my throat and become my tonsils.
The pain is hideous,
and I'm hallucinating.
♫ Here we go
♫ Were we distracting you?
- I'm in this weird room with Tiffany
and the rest of my favourite girl group.
And they're trying to apply first aid.
♫ Flying off the lip, you
can do almost anything
- [Boy] Hey mate, you okay?
(groaning)
What was that?
- Pain.
- [Boy] Uh-huh.
What happened?
Did you nut yourself in the goolies?
- Tiffany, is that you?
Tiffany?
(chimes and slow rock guitar music)
Okay.
So you can't sing,
you've never been on a reality show,
you don't have a belly
ring, and you're a bloke.
- You gonna stay there?
Like half in and out of the water?
Kind of dead looking.
- Only til I'm 16.
- (laughs) Yo, a sense of humour.
I saw you go out.
You're obviously not very intelligent.
- Uh-huh.
- You're obviously a new kid in town?
- Obviously.
- Feeling lucky, were ya? (laughs)
That reminds me of a funny story.
You'll like this one.
Advert in the paper, right?
This is true.
Lost dog.
Oh, you're gonna love this.
Blind in one eye.
Its left ear has been
bitten off in a fight.
Now, wait a minute.
This dog is missing a leg.
Like the ad goes, answers to
the name of Lockie. (laughs)
Oh, it's so funny.
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Yeah, right, that's me.
Lucky Lockie.
My second day in a new town and so far
life was proving to be one
long whack in the goolies.
Rewind.
(mid tempo relaxed music)
Yesterday afternoon.
- Gorgeous little town, so they tell me.
- Gorgeous, beautiful, yes lovely.
- Oh, and Lockie.
Rumour has it, it has some of
the best surfing on the coast.
- Rumours need more work, Sarge.
- It's like everybody says,
why stay on in the city?
- Because it's our home.
- Why swarm like drones
amid heartless city streets,
when you could be knowing
the warm loving embrace
of a vibrant small town community?
- Uh-oh, we're busted.
- Can I see your licence, driver?
(slow upbeat jazz music)
- Yes, of course.
Would you like me to
step out of the vehicle?
- Do you want to, particularly?
- I'm easy.
Whatever you think.
- Okay then, that would be excellent.
- All right.
Now, what seems to be the problem?
- Well, no offence, but
your roof rack there,
do you think it might be
just a little bit overloaded?
- Yeah, yeah, I think you could be right.
- No, but, sorry?
Look, if you think it's safe,
that's okay with me, Mr. Leonard.
- Sarge.
Sergeant Leonard.
I'm the new police sergeant.
- No, oh no.
- It's all right, constable.
This is my wife, Joy, Lockie, Phillip.
This is Blob in the middle, Barbara.
Old fashioned name but
it seems to do the trick.
- I wasn't expecting you til Monday.
- Oh well, we're here
a couple of days early.
Gotta get the kids off to
school, that sort of thing.
Senior constable Snowden, is it?
- Yes, it's Snowy.
- Snowy, you wouldn't be
able to do us a favour,
would you, and show us the house?
- You haven't seen the house?
- No.
- I have a bad feeling about this.
(dramatic music)
(thunder crashing)
- [Sarge] A lick of paint, some curtains.
(mid-tempo music)
What a lovely man, Joy.
What a lovely, lovely man.
- Yes.
I really am trying to be
cheerful about it, Sarge.
But this bit looks, you know, horrible.
Oh, look at that.
I didn't know you could make
Christmas decorations out of toilet rolls.
- Oh, take it easy, Joy.
There's no need to panic.
This is probably the worst
street in the whole town.
- [Joy] Gorgeous, yes, lovely.
- He's stopping, Dad.
(slow music)
(tyres screeching)
- Is this it?
- Creamy potato and
artichoke salad, mm-mm.
- Joy.
- No, sorry, I'm not looking.
The spirit of Christmas.
Lighten up your dining table
with these easy to make--
- Mum.
It's, well, it's--
- Does it have a two car garage?
What I couldn't do with the extra space.
- [Ned] A lick of paint.
- [Joy] But.
- [Sarge] Some curtains.
- I mean, the whole
street, it's just swamp
(train whistling)
and then more swamp.
(wood thudding)
- Oh.
Let's go inside.
You never know, we might be surprised.
(slow bright music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] The inside
of the house, it was worse.
It was like whoever built
it was a complete idiot.
(house creaking)
The house went all
higgeldy-piggeldy, a bit like Mum.
- This is fun, isn't it? (laughs)
Fun.
And exciting, isn't it? (laughs)
An adventure.
In a new unusual town. (laughs)
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
then there was our room.
(door creaking)
(suspenseful music)
- Dog.
- Wet dog.
- German shepherd?
- (sniffs) Wet german shepherd.
- But wait, there's more.
- I know.
It smells just like our old room
right after you'd wet the bed.
(slow music)
Sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
Delete.
- Why not, it's true.
- Phillip, I'm sorry, all right.
Phillip.
(eerie music)
- [Lockie Voiceover]
It had been a long day.
And to be honest, there
wasn't a lot to show for it.
(house creaking)
- Maybe I should see about getting
the power put on tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
- Maybe.
(dramatic music)
- [Lockie Voiceover] With
dinner out of the way
it was time for a family sing song.
♫ When I see you baby
♫ I go out of my head.
♫ And I just can't get enough
♫ And I just can't get enough
♫ We slip and slide as we fall in love
♫ And I just can't seem to get enough
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
after that we all went to bed.
- Phillip, what is your problem?
- Sorry, can't help it.
- You sound like you're
being snogged to death
by a vacuum cleaner.
- I'm dying of thirst.
- Well here's an idea.
Go get yourself a glass of water.
- I can't.
If I have anything to drink
after five o'clock I, you know--
- Wet the bed?
- Sorry, Lockie.
- Why don't you just try lying down?
- I can't.
If I lie down I'll fall asleep.
- Good.
- If I fall asleep I'll, you know--
- Wet the bed.
- Sorry, Lockie.
- It's okay.
I'm stressed out too.
- You never get stressed.
- [Lockie Voiceover] What,
so it's not scary enough
I'm starting high school
in four days time.
I've got to do it in a weird town
where I don't know a single
soul, not a single face,
not a single man, woman,
boy, girl, dog, cat, or frog.
(frogs croaking)
- Listen, Joy.
The music of the night.
- Those are frogs.
You get frogs in a swamp.
You get hundreds of them.
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
that was interesting.
Because as a rule, Mum
was really fond of frogs.
- Hey, don't knock swamps.
Man emerged from the swamp. (laughs)
(house creaking)
- And any day now this
house is going to go sliding
straight back into one.
- What a lovely word picture you paint.
(slow music)
To think that one night this house
might slowly sink into the slime.
Gloop, gloop, gloop.
And all that would be left would be
our wonky old TV aerial
sticking out of the mud.
And in 1,000 years time
archaeologists would discover us,
the Leonards, homo swampus.
And they would discover, and
this would blow their minds,
that we'd been eating corn chips.
(Joy laughing)
- [Phillip] Oh dear, oh dear.
- Geez, Phillip.
Imagine if you had have had
something to drink last night.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Dad thought
he'd better stay at the house
to see about getting the power turned on.
He was also hopeful the removalist
might eventually arrive with our stuff.
- Bye, Sarge.
- [Lockie Voiceover] And
apparently my new high school
was within easy walking distance.
And since today was enrollment day
we thought we'd give it a shot.
Mistake.
Big mistake.
- [Joy] I'm so sorry, Lockie.
This is going to be really tough on you.
I wish there was more I could do to help.
- [Lockie] Mum, it'll be okay.
I'm only enrolling.
- No, I mean, the whole high school thing.
We cover this in our parent effectiveness
training group all the time.
Lockie, you are taking
your first fledgling steps
towards adulthood.
This is a rite of passage.
- Oh, Mum, I'll be okay.
- But you won't know anybody.
Not another boy, not another girl.
- Dead right, Mum.
Lockie said he was really
stressing about high school.
- No, I didn't.
What, when did I say that?
- Yes you did, last night, you said.
- No, I didn't, Phillip.
I said, high school, that's so cool.
High school, bring it on.
(mid-tempo music)
- Go on.
Go.
- Name?
- Leonard.
- Leonard who?
- Leonard, Lockie.
Lachlan.
Lockie Leonard.
- Well, glad we sorted that out.
Is Lachlan Leonard your full name?
- No.
- Okay.
Next question.
For five points, your full name is.
Oh, I know.
I'm starting with all
the hard ones, aren't I?
- Lachlan Robert Louis Stevenson Leonard.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Yep,
thanks for that, Sarge.
Good thinking.
- Gee.
I'd like to see you try and
fit that on a credit card.
There's your uniform.
Take this form and move
to the next desk along.
Stand behind that girl.
Streeton, first name, Vicki.
(heart beating)
(slow music)
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What's your name?
- Oh, Robert, I mean Robbie.
It's Robbie.
- Vicki Streeton.
- Robbie Williams.
- Your name's Robbie Williams?
- Oh, no, no.
William is my middle name.
It's Robbie William Smiles.
No Miles.
Robbie William Miles.
- I know Brett Miles.
He lives in our street.
Are you from around here?
- Oh, no, no.
We're miles from anywhere.
- So, where do you live?
- Yeah, okay.
I live in a with a roof on top.
- That's good.
- [Lockie Voiceover] This was weird.
I'd seen girls before, obviously.
But they'd never made me
forget the word for house.
- Look, I'd better go.
My belly button's just walked in.
- It has.
- And girls had never made me
forget the word for Dad either.
- Yeah, over there.
He's come to take me back to the um,
with a roof on top.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Okay, status report.
Yes, the power was on.
That was good.
(light switch clicking)
And yes, I just met a girl
who was so cute I couldn't talk straight.
But I'd given her a false name,
so now I could never talk to her again
'cause she'd be assuming I was mad.
- It's all right.
I think you're really funny, and nice.
In fact, I could see us
going on a date tonight.
- Yeah, but you're not even here, are you?
- No, sorry.
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Okay, I was seeing things.
Not good, Lockie.
Time to clear my head.
So I went to see if the
rumours were for real.
(waves crashing)
(groaning)
And here we are, back at the beginning.
And I tell you what,
getting one in the goolies
is a lot like meeting a really cute girl.
It occupies most of your attention,
and it takes some getting over.
I'd experienced both
in the last two hours.
- Sure you don't want
to get out of the water?
- Huh?
- Water, don't know
what surfies see in it.
The name's Egg.
- Lockie.
So, you're a metalhead?
- I like metal music, yeah.
- Don't know what you see in it. (groans)
- Can you walk?
- Walk?
No, of course I can't walk.
When was the last time you got nutted?
- Years ago, in a cricket match.
- Man, I hate cricket.
- Same.
- Don't know what they see
in it. (laughs) (groans)
- What?
- Laughing makes my goolies wobble.
- (laughs) Actually, that
reminds me of a funny story.
Have you heard the one about the--
- Don't, Egg.
(slow music)
- [Lockie Voiceover]
Sympathy alert, family.
Fragile tricky bits.
No sudden movement recommended.
- Yes, I am definitely feeling
so much brighter about things now
that we have all our bits and pieces.
- Bits and pieces. (laughs)
- Feels like home again.
(hand slapping on thigh)
(gasping)
- Sorry, dear.
Did that jangle you?
(sniggering)
Come on, everybody, eat up.
What's the matter,
Lockie, aren't you hungry?
- Nah, sorry Mum.
- I hear that the surf
was really throbbing
down there today.
(giggling)
- Oh thanks, my supportive family.
Revenge will be mine.
(giggling)
(slow piano music)
(train whistling)
- Hm, this is more like it.
- Let the archaeologists do their worst.
We Leonards have got nothing to hide.
- [Lockie Voiceover] Archaeologists?
Yeah, right.
In 1,000 years science might reveal
that Lockie Leonard's tricky bits
had taken a hit from a surfboard
with a nasty dig in the left rail.
But would they be able to tell
he wished he was back in the city
where everything seemed
bigger, and better, and warmer,
and full of friends and good memories?
Or that he'd met a girl
he couldn't talk to,
and a weird kid from the bogan tribe,
the natural enemy of
all surfies everywhere?
Forget it.
No one now or in the future could know
precisely how it felt to be
Lockie Leonard right now,
in this room, tonight,
with all that going on.
- Night, Lockie.
- Good night, Phillip.
("World's Apart" by Jebediah)
♫ Boy is breaking underneath
the weight of strain
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ World's away from anyone
♫ They were burning
themselves out in the sun
♫ There was just enough
to get them far away