Living Single (1993–1998): Season 5, Episode 13 - Let's Stay Together - full transcript
Now, this is Baby
Shaw at three weeks.
See, she just a little tiny dot.
Now, over at six weeks,
she's the size of a lima bean.
Alright, and this one
was taken yesterday.
She looks just like
mommy, doesn't she?
Yeah, if mommy's a sea horse.
W‐w‐w‐whoa, hold on.
W‐what's that right there?
Oh, that's my profile
of Sperm Donor 432.
My man in a can.
Wait a minute,
you‐you‐you got your seed
from the Turner Institute?
Whoa, small world.
Wait a minute, Overton.
Are you trying to tell
me that your swimmers
are doing laps in
somebody else's pool?
No, baby, not me. Kyle.
See, couple of years
back he had one of those
near‐death experiences
while bicycling through
the Lincoln Tunnel.
So, he decided to make a
deposit at that there bank
to guarantee that
the Barker bloodline
would flow into
the next millennium.
No, no, no.
Donor 432 is not Kyle Barker.
Check out my fine
specimen's profile.
Let's see, "Ethnic
group, African‐American.
"IQ, 140. Education,
advanced degree.
‐ Height, 5'10 ",
weight, 175." ‐ Mmm.
"Interests include fitness,
African studies... singing."
Oh, my God.
♪ My funny valentine ♪
Oh, please!
♪ Sweet comic valentine ♪
This man is a big
wave surfer, alright.
The only thing Kyle ever
surfed was the freaking internet.
Oh, my.
"Oh, my." What are
you oh‐mying about?
See, Kyle wanted his recipient
to, be able to
appreciate intelligence
plus, have a sense of adventure
so, that way, they could,
um, create a super baby.
Hey, dude. What the
hell are you saying?
Look here, honey, I
ain't no genetic scientist
but it looks like you've got Big
Wave Barker's bun in that oven.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standin'
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue ♪
♪ It's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Ha‐aa ♪
Well, um, I
checked out the files
that, um, Kyle left, and..
Looks as though,
um, we got a match.
Oh, my God.
Why? Why? W‐why, why?
You know, this little sea horse
does kinda have
Kyle's cheekbones.
Maxine. Oh, my God.
What is Kyle gonna
say when you tell him
he seeded your garden?
No! I'm not telling him.
He gave up his right to know
when he dropped that magazine
zipped up his pants, and
walked outta that place.
She didn't mean that.
Well, even if she did
I mean, this is not a
secret any of us can keep.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, not to be
Reginesque, but, uh..
Somebody got to tell Kyle.
Yeah, well, um, you
know, he is in Ohio
visiting the folks
for the holidays.
I, I could call him up and
tell him to come up here
for the New Year's
Eve party tonight.
And then, maybe, we can get Max
to spill the beans,
about them beans.
How come I wasn't invited
to the New Year's Eve party?
Um, that's 'cause I
just thought of it, baby.
Overton, you're a sly one. Okay.
'Good plan, good plan.
Good plan, good plan.'
Mmm.
Greetings, boss lady.
Came to drop off my special
rum punch for tonight's party.
Yo, Russ, the‐the party's
not for another eight hours.
Well, uh, I'm afraid
I can't be trusted
with this potent concoction.
Last year, I dipped
into it a little early.
By four in the afternoon, I
was naked in Times Square..
Begging a policeman
for a ride on his horse.
Wow. She just beat
Max's record to the kitchen.
This must be big.
My marriage is over.
Since lunch?
You know that TV
show I auditioned for?
They offered me the
role of the renegade nun.
Hey.
No! Hello, divorce court. Eww.
Synclaire, you see
this look on my face?
Okay, it's called
confusion. Help me.
Don't you see?
They film the show in Hollywood.
That means Overton
and I will have to move.
He's not gonna wanna do that.
He has his job,
he has his friends.
Besides, think of
all the sunscreen
we're gonna need for his dome.
Synclaire, you're
buggin'. Come on, now.
Overton married
you, hairy toes and all!
Hey, that's a man who'll
follow you anywhere, okay?
Well, damn him! Damn him!
Why does he have to
be so understanding?
Why can't he just say.
"We're stayin' here,
woman, so cool your jets."
Because nobody's talked
like that since the 50s.
Alright, now, let's
get to the real.
Khadijah, when I moved
here from Minnesota
you were just my cousin.
Now, you're my dearest friend.
What am I gonna
do if I can't drop by
and soak up all of your
love and understanding
and constructive, most
of the time, criticism?
Oh, I just don't
want this to be over.
Oh, neither do I.
Look, when you first came here
you could barely load a stapler.
Now, look at you!
Synclaire James‐Jones.
Wife and actress..
‐ Whoo‐whoo‐whooah! ‐ That's me.
Come on, now, there's
nothing you can't do.
Oh, Khadijah. Oh, Khadijah!
That's my cuz..
Um, ladies and gentlemen
back from his, uh, show stopping
engagement in London, England.
Please give it up
for Mr. Kyle Barker.
Oh, baby.
Oh, welcome home.
‐ Thank you, boo. ‐
Oh, I've missed you.
Damn, you look good.
Have you lost weight?
Yeah. Well, have
you tried English food?
Yo, shawty. Uh..
‐ ...you remember Trip,
right? ‐ What's up, man?
‐ How you doing? ‐
Hey, man. Lookin' good.
Yeah, and that right
there is, uh, Rawr Roni.
'The girl who, uh,
subletted your apartment.'
‐ Oh, okay. ‐ Nice to meet you.
‐ Nice to meet you
too. ‐ You know..
I've been wanting to
ask you about all these
little cheese puff stashes
I keep finding all
over the bedroom.
‐ Ah, I had a pet
named Maxine. ‐ Oh.
Ooh‐hoo..
‐ You ain't right..
‐ Yeah, everybody.
You know, um, we got
plenty of time for mixing later.
Right now, I gotta
show you my new pad.
Man, I did some installation
that's a festival for the eyes.
Uh‐huh, And me without
my camera. Later, boo.
‐ Ah. So good to see
you. ‐ Ah, boo. Oh, you too.
‐ Come on, dawg. ‐ Oh..
Oh, boy.
Oh, Maxine. I see
you found Mr. Right.
Kyle, what are you doing here?
Oh, the Brits didn't
want you either, huh?
Actually, Overton
called me in Cleveland
and invited me to
tonight's festivities.
Oh, how convenient.
Suddenly there are festivities.
Yeah, to, uh, ring
in all things new
and soon to be new..
Talk amongst yourselves. Mmm.
So, how goes life
of the maverick?
Great! Um, let me see.
Hmph. I'm pregnant.
Pregnant?
With what?
What do you think, I'm
incapable of producing life?
No, no, no. It's just that, um..
I never pictured you as
the motherly type is all.
Hmm. And all that time I
spent trying to make you a man.
Well, then, who did you seduce,
and where is the body buried?
Not deep enough.
Anyway, uh, he's not part
of my life anymore, so..
Look, look, Max
if there is anything you
need, anything I can do‐‐.
Nah, trust me, Kyle, I have
everything I need from you
and a few things I
didn't ask for, eh?
Alright, Walter,
come on, schnell.
Oh, come on. Schnell.
Schnell didn't work on me.
I don't know what makes
you think it'll work on him.
Hey, hey. So how'd your little
tete‐a‐tete with Max go, huh?
Oh, enlightening.
She finally found someone
she can lead around on a leash.
Well, did she tell you about
the new additions to her life?
Uh, the, uh, project
she is developing.
The, uh, uh,
precious cargo, uh..
You mean, the baby?
Phew, thanks, bro, uh..
Running out of
colorful euphemisms.
So, c'mon, how
you holding up man?
I'm fine, man. It's
her choice, you know.
My ties with Maxine Shaw
were cut at that
airport terminal, bro.
W‐w‐wait a minute,
now, what about the baby?
I mean, it is half yours.
Overton, man, I've been
gone for five months.
Now, I know I'm virile
and all, you know.
But I doubt even if my sperm
could swim across the Atlantic.
Good lord, that
girl didn't tell you.
Tell me what?
Um, bro..
Uh, Max was, uh, inseminated
at the Turner Institute
and, uh, her donor of choice
would be, um, Big Wave Barker.
Hey, bro, can I get you
like a real drink, man?
Rat poison is my drink
of choice at the moment.
Look, Overton..
Do you know the odds
of Maxine picking me
out of thousands
of donors? Let's see.
One in six hundred
and fifty five million, man.
Shawty, that's
your problem, man.
You live in this
cold, sterile universe
of bottom lines
and balance sheets.
But in the real world
with living human beings
the odds are..
W‐well, well‐well‐well,
look here.
It happened, you
gotta deal with it.
How?
Right at this moment,
my child, a Barker..
Is trapped inside the
body of Maxine Shaw.
Being nurtured by nachos
and snack cakes
and sides of beef.
My child is
gestating in a landfill.
Well, um, easy
target as Maxine is
you look me in the eye
and tell me you're over her.
No. No, see, see, my
life has never been better.
I'm this close to
making partner.
I just got a gig singing
in a jazz club in Chelsea
and I don't mean to brag
but the Brits are
caught up in a little thing
they are calling Barker mania.
Yeah, so, um, how's
your love life, Jazz Man?
It's never been better. I
am dating a supermodel.
Six foot one and girly
is well worth the climb.
Tell me, how many times you
close your eyes and you see Max?
I'm afraid to close
my eyes, man.
Dear God why can't I
exorcise this demon?
That's because of a little thing
we Joneses like to call destiny.
And it never goes away.
It rides your back
till your knees buckle
you fall flat on your ass
you look up and say, "Alright,
enough, God, I‐I get it."
Overton, I've been flat on
my ass since I met this woman.
Tell me, when are her
knees going to buckle, huh?
Well, hopefully, before
her water breaks.
Kyle, look here, man.
This child gonna
link you two together
for the rest of your lives, man.
Maybe it's time y'all
stopped acting like opponents
and start acting like parents.
‐ Wow. ‐ Hey.
What do you think of
baby's first snowman?
Well, I think baby's lucky,
that baby can't see it.
Is that why you
called me up here?
No, no, no. Here,
come have a look‐see.
Look it, there's Kyle.
Staked out in front
of my apartment
like some sort of
street‐level gargoyle.
‐ Oh, no, duck, duck!
‐ Ooh! Ah! What?
I thought I saw his beady
little eyes looking over here.
Alright, look, Max, I
love you, but that's it.
What're you doing?
I'm getting your baby
daddy's attention.
'Ow!'
Kyle, Kyle, Max is up
here. She hiding, yo.
She right here. Come here.
‐ What kind of a friend
are you? ‐ Come here.
A friend with a nice arm.
Okay, okay, Shaw.
Think fast, think fast. Let's..
Oh, no, you can't
go up the stairs
because he'll be
coming up that way.
Alright, I could hit the
soft top of that convertible
roll and come up running.
In your condition?
Damn! Kid's slowing
me down already.
Hey. Thanks, Khadijah.
But you owe me a
tortoiseshell button, alright?
Alright, well, Imma
leave y'all up here
so that y'all can chat.
Hmm, there she go.
You pilfered any
good sperm lately?
Nobody in this brownstone
can keep their trap shut.
I don't know why I
ever crossed the street.
I mean, you'd
think in five years
I'd be able to make
friends in my own building
but no, I keep coming over
here for a few measly meals.
And now, I'm playing host
mother to your seed, oh.
Well, I'm tired of fighting!
You win.
Oh, God. I surrender!
I give up.
No mas.
‐ So, are you
finished? ‐ 'Yeah.'
Now, fix your face.
Look, Maxine, you
know I'd be here, right?
And you know I
would do the right thing
and take care of
our baby and you.
Maxine, baby, don't you know
that there has been
no one in my life
that has affected
me the way you do?
I mean, you open your
mouth and my skin crawls.
‐ Hey. ‐ Well,
but in a good way.
And that smile.
See that smile has brightened
many a London day for me.
And now, we're about
to have a baby together.
And you already know
how much I love you.
♪ When I fall in love girl ♪
♪ It'll be forever ♪
Mmm.
You know, this is
either the cruelest trick
the cosmos has ever played
or proof positive, that we
are destined to be together.
No, Kyle. We are
doomed to be together.
Now, you shut up and kiss me.
‐ Seven! ‐ Five,
four, three, two, one.
Happy new year!
Mmm.
It'll mean nothing
to us, boss lady
but how about a lil' sweet lip?
Russell, do you want
a job in the new year?
Back up off me.
Whoo, I am gonna
call my boyfriend
and wish him a happy
new year and a good life.
And you said that
two months of begging
wouldn't pay off. Hah!
Happy new year.
Well, if you'll excuse me
I'm gonna call each
of my many ex‐wives.
No doubt, one of
them is home alone
and very vulnerable.
Happy, happy!
Overton, the love of my life
I'm so glad you
made me your wife.
Max, my girl, you all that.
How do you eat so
much and never get fat?
Kyle, you are my
favorite Dapper Dan.
You know of all
things... African.
Khadijah, I would cherish
you to the day I die.
And I'm gonna stop right
now 'cause I'm fittin' to cry.
Well, like Kyle said, we all
been through a lot of changes.
I mean, Synclaire and
Overton are married.
You two came to
your senses, finally
and we all get a
baby out of the deal.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Mmm.
Scooter and I are back together.
Well, not tonight.
You know, but still..
Okay. And even Regine
got her millionaire finally.
‐ Mmm. ‐ Hear, hear.
The only thing that
has not changed
is the love I have
for all of y'all.
‐ Cheers. ‐ Cheers.
‐ Oh, my. ‐ Cheers.
Alright, Maxine, what do you
say we go back to your place?
I think my boy
here, needs his rest.
Oh, please, my
girl is a night owl.
Another you? God
would never be so cruel.
You gotta start
getting some rest too‐‐
‐ Mind your business,
Jack. ‐ I got some business.
Your care's my business,
that's what my business.
Well, baby, I guess
we should go too.
I'm sure, Khadijah
got something to do.
No, she doesn't,
she's all alone.
Well, it's, uh, our first new
year's as‐as man and wife
baby, w‐we've got
something to do.
Show you right. Show you right.
That's what I'm talking
about. Happy new year, baby.
Happy new year.
See you tomorrow.
Am I too late for
my new year's kiss?
I thought you were in Rio.
A little unscheduled stopover.
It's cost me 600 bucks
so this kiss better be good.
‐ Oh, I can cover it on
my end. ‐ Alright, yeah.
‐ Mmm. ‐ Mmm.
‐ 'Girl, what you doing?'
‐ I'm going to Rio with you.
Just like that, no suitcase?
Well, if Imma need clothes
maybe I shouldn't go.
Girl, you changing
on me, I like it. Whoo!
Well, get used to it. 'Cause
I ain't never looking back.
Well, maybe just a little bit.
Woo‐hoo!
Shaw at three weeks.
See, she just a little tiny dot.
Now, over at six weeks,
she's the size of a lima bean.
Alright, and this one
was taken yesterday.
She looks just like
mommy, doesn't she?
Yeah, if mommy's a sea horse.
W‐w‐w‐whoa, hold on.
W‐what's that right there?
Oh, that's my profile
of Sperm Donor 432.
My man in a can.
Wait a minute,
you‐you‐you got your seed
from the Turner Institute?
Whoa, small world.
Wait a minute, Overton.
Are you trying to tell
me that your swimmers
are doing laps in
somebody else's pool?
No, baby, not me. Kyle.
See, couple of years
back he had one of those
near‐death experiences
while bicycling through
the Lincoln Tunnel.
So, he decided to make a
deposit at that there bank
to guarantee that
the Barker bloodline
would flow into
the next millennium.
No, no, no.
Donor 432 is not Kyle Barker.
Check out my fine
specimen's profile.
Let's see, "Ethnic
group, African‐American.
"IQ, 140. Education,
advanced degree.
‐ Height, 5'10 ",
weight, 175." ‐ Mmm.
"Interests include fitness,
African studies... singing."
Oh, my God.
♪ My funny valentine ♪
Oh, please!
♪ Sweet comic valentine ♪
This man is a big
wave surfer, alright.
The only thing Kyle ever
surfed was the freaking internet.
Oh, my.
"Oh, my." What are
you oh‐mying about?
See, Kyle wanted his recipient
to, be able to
appreciate intelligence
plus, have a sense of adventure
so, that way, they could,
um, create a super baby.
Hey, dude. What the
hell are you saying?
Look here, honey, I
ain't no genetic scientist
but it looks like you've got Big
Wave Barker's bun in that oven.
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Ooh in a 90s kind of world ♪
♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪
♪ Oh keep your head up ♪
♪ What? ♪
♪ Keep ya head up ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ Whenever this life get
tough you gotta fight ♪
♪ With my home girls standin'
to my left and my right ♪
♪ True blue ♪
♪ It's tight like glue ♪
♪ We are living ♪
♪ Check check check it out ♪
♪ Single ♪
♪ Do what you want ♪
♪ No free position ♪
♪ Ha‐aa ♪
Well, um, I
checked out the files
that, um, Kyle left, and..
Looks as though,
um, we got a match.
Oh, my God.
Why? Why? W‐why, why?
You know, this little sea horse
does kinda have
Kyle's cheekbones.
Maxine. Oh, my God.
What is Kyle gonna
say when you tell him
he seeded your garden?
No! I'm not telling him.
He gave up his right to know
when he dropped that magazine
zipped up his pants, and
walked outta that place.
She didn't mean that.
Well, even if she did
I mean, this is not a
secret any of us can keep.
You know what I'm saying?
I mean, not to be
Reginesque, but, uh..
Somebody got to tell Kyle.
Yeah, well, um, you
know, he is in Ohio
visiting the folks
for the holidays.
I, I could call him up and
tell him to come up here
for the New Year's
Eve party tonight.
And then, maybe, we can get Max
to spill the beans,
about them beans.
How come I wasn't invited
to the New Year's Eve party?
Um, that's 'cause I
just thought of it, baby.
Overton, you're a sly one. Okay.
'Good plan, good plan.
Good plan, good plan.'
Mmm.
Greetings, boss lady.
Came to drop off my special
rum punch for tonight's party.
Yo, Russ, the‐the party's
not for another eight hours.
Well, uh, I'm afraid
I can't be trusted
with this potent concoction.
Last year, I dipped
into it a little early.
By four in the afternoon, I
was naked in Times Square..
Begging a policeman
for a ride on his horse.
Wow. She just beat
Max's record to the kitchen.
This must be big.
My marriage is over.
Since lunch?
You know that TV
show I auditioned for?
They offered me the
role of the renegade nun.
Hey.
No! Hello, divorce court. Eww.
Synclaire, you see
this look on my face?
Okay, it's called
confusion. Help me.
Don't you see?
They film the show in Hollywood.
That means Overton
and I will have to move.
He's not gonna wanna do that.
He has his job,
he has his friends.
Besides, think of
all the sunscreen
we're gonna need for his dome.
Synclaire, you're
buggin'. Come on, now.
Overton married
you, hairy toes and all!
Hey, that's a man who'll
follow you anywhere, okay?
Well, damn him! Damn him!
Why does he have to
be so understanding?
Why can't he just say.
"We're stayin' here,
woman, so cool your jets."
Because nobody's talked
like that since the 50s.
Alright, now, let's
get to the real.
Khadijah, when I moved
here from Minnesota
you were just my cousin.
Now, you're my dearest friend.
What am I gonna
do if I can't drop by
and soak up all of your
love and understanding
and constructive, most
of the time, criticism?
Oh, I just don't
want this to be over.
Oh, neither do I.
Look, when you first came here
you could barely load a stapler.
Now, look at you!
Synclaire James‐Jones.
Wife and actress..
‐ Whoo‐whoo‐whooah! ‐ That's me.
Come on, now, there's
nothing you can't do.
Oh, Khadijah. Oh, Khadijah!
That's my cuz..
Um, ladies and gentlemen
back from his, uh, show stopping
engagement in London, England.
Please give it up
for Mr. Kyle Barker.
Oh, baby.
Oh, welcome home.
‐ Thank you, boo. ‐
Oh, I've missed you.
Damn, you look good.
Have you lost weight?
Yeah. Well, have
you tried English food?
Yo, shawty. Uh..
‐ ...you remember Trip,
right? ‐ What's up, man?
‐ How you doing? ‐
Hey, man. Lookin' good.
Yeah, and that right
there is, uh, Rawr Roni.
'The girl who, uh,
subletted your apartment.'
‐ Oh, okay. ‐ Nice to meet you.
‐ Nice to meet you
too. ‐ You know..
I've been wanting to
ask you about all these
little cheese puff stashes
I keep finding all
over the bedroom.
‐ Ah, I had a pet
named Maxine. ‐ Oh.
Ooh‐hoo..
‐ You ain't right..
‐ Yeah, everybody.
You know, um, we got
plenty of time for mixing later.
Right now, I gotta
show you my new pad.
Man, I did some installation
that's a festival for the eyes.
Uh‐huh, And me without
my camera. Later, boo.
‐ Ah. So good to see
you. ‐ Ah, boo. Oh, you too.
‐ Come on, dawg. ‐ Oh..
Oh, boy.
Oh, Maxine. I see
you found Mr. Right.
Kyle, what are you doing here?
Oh, the Brits didn't
want you either, huh?
Actually, Overton
called me in Cleveland
and invited me to
tonight's festivities.
Oh, how convenient.
Suddenly there are festivities.
Yeah, to, uh, ring
in all things new
and soon to be new..
Talk amongst yourselves. Mmm.
So, how goes life
of the maverick?
Great! Um, let me see.
Hmph. I'm pregnant.
Pregnant?
With what?
What do you think, I'm
incapable of producing life?
No, no, no. It's just that, um..
I never pictured you as
the motherly type is all.
Hmm. And all that time I
spent trying to make you a man.
Well, then, who did you seduce,
and where is the body buried?
Not deep enough.
Anyway, uh, he's not part
of my life anymore, so..
Look, look, Max
if there is anything you
need, anything I can do‐‐.
Nah, trust me, Kyle, I have
everything I need from you
and a few things I
didn't ask for, eh?
Alright, Walter,
come on, schnell.
Oh, come on. Schnell.
Schnell didn't work on me.
I don't know what makes
you think it'll work on him.
Hey, hey. So how'd your little
tete‐a‐tete with Max go, huh?
Oh, enlightening.
She finally found someone
she can lead around on a leash.
Well, did she tell you about
the new additions to her life?
Uh, the, uh, project
she is developing.
The, uh, uh,
precious cargo, uh..
You mean, the baby?
Phew, thanks, bro, uh..
Running out of
colorful euphemisms.
So, c'mon, how
you holding up man?
I'm fine, man. It's
her choice, you know.
My ties with Maxine Shaw
were cut at that
airport terminal, bro.
W‐w‐wait a minute,
now, what about the baby?
I mean, it is half yours.
Overton, man, I've been
gone for five months.
Now, I know I'm virile
and all, you know.
But I doubt even if my sperm
could swim across the Atlantic.
Good lord, that
girl didn't tell you.
Tell me what?
Um, bro..
Uh, Max was, uh, inseminated
at the Turner Institute
and, uh, her donor of choice
would be, um, Big Wave Barker.
Hey, bro, can I get you
like a real drink, man?
Rat poison is my drink
of choice at the moment.
Look, Overton..
Do you know the odds
of Maxine picking me
out of thousands
of donors? Let's see.
One in six hundred
and fifty five million, man.
Shawty, that's
your problem, man.
You live in this
cold, sterile universe
of bottom lines
and balance sheets.
But in the real world
with living human beings
the odds are..
W‐well, well‐well‐well,
look here.
It happened, you
gotta deal with it.
How?
Right at this moment,
my child, a Barker..
Is trapped inside the
body of Maxine Shaw.
Being nurtured by nachos
and snack cakes
and sides of beef.
My child is
gestating in a landfill.
Well, um, easy
target as Maxine is
you look me in the eye
and tell me you're over her.
No. No, see, see, my
life has never been better.
I'm this close to
making partner.
I just got a gig singing
in a jazz club in Chelsea
and I don't mean to brag
but the Brits are
caught up in a little thing
they are calling Barker mania.
Yeah, so, um, how's
your love life, Jazz Man?
It's never been better. I
am dating a supermodel.
Six foot one and girly
is well worth the climb.
Tell me, how many times you
close your eyes and you see Max?
I'm afraid to close
my eyes, man.
Dear God why can't I
exorcise this demon?
That's because of a little thing
we Joneses like to call destiny.
And it never goes away.
It rides your back
till your knees buckle
you fall flat on your ass
you look up and say, "Alright,
enough, God, I‐I get it."
Overton, I've been flat on
my ass since I met this woman.
Tell me, when are her
knees going to buckle, huh?
Well, hopefully, before
her water breaks.
Kyle, look here, man.
This child gonna
link you two together
for the rest of your lives, man.
Maybe it's time y'all
stopped acting like opponents
and start acting like parents.
‐ Wow. ‐ Hey.
What do you think of
baby's first snowman?
Well, I think baby's lucky,
that baby can't see it.
Is that why you
called me up here?
No, no, no. Here,
come have a look‐see.
Look it, there's Kyle.
Staked out in front
of my apartment
like some sort of
street‐level gargoyle.
‐ Oh, no, duck, duck!
‐ Ooh! Ah! What?
I thought I saw his beady
little eyes looking over here.
Alright, look, Max, I
love you, but that's it.
What're you doing?
I'm getting your baby
daddy's attention.
'Ow!'
Kyle, Kyle, Max is up
here. She hiding, yo.
She right here. Come here.
‐ What kind of a friend
are you? ‐ Come here.
A friend with a nice arm.
Okay, okay, Shaw.
Think fast, think fast. Let's..
Oh, no, you can't
go up the stairs
because he'll be
coming up that way.
Alright, I could hit the
soft top of that convertible
roll and come up running.
In your condition?
Damn! Kid's slowing
me down already.
Hey. Thanks, Khadijah.
But you owe me a
tortoiseshell button, alright?
Alright, well, Imma
leave y'all up here
so that y'all can chat.
Hmm, there she go.
You pilfered any
good sperm lately?
Nobody in this brownstone
can keep their trap shut.
I don't know why I
ever crossed the street.
I mean, you'd
think in five years
I'd be able to make
friends in my own building
but no, I keep coming over
here for a few measly meals.
And now, I'm playing host
mother to your seed, oh.
Well, I'm tired of fighting!
You win.
Oh, God. I surrender!
I give up.
No mas.
‐ So, are you
finished? ‐ 'Yeah.'
Now, fix your face.
Look, Maxine, you
know I'd be here, right?
And you know I
would do the right thing
and take care of
our baby and you.
Maxine, baby, don't you know
that there has been
no one in my life
that has affected
me the way you do?
I mean, you open your
mouth and my skin crawls.
‐ Hey. ‐ Well,
but in a good way.
And that smile.
See that smile has brightened
many a London day for me.
And now, we're about
to have a baby together.
And you already know
how much I love you.
♪ When I fall in love girl ♪
♪ It'll be forever ♪
Mmm.
You know, this is
either the cruelest trick
the cosmos has ever played
or proof positive, that we
are destined to be together.
No, Kyle. We are
doomed to be together.
Now, you shut up and kiss me.
‐ Seven! ‐ Five,
four, three, two, one.
Happy new year!
Mmm.
It'll mean nothing
to us, boss lady
but how about a lil' sweet lip?
Russell, do you want
a job in the new year?
Back up off me.
Whoo, I am gonna
call my boyfriend
and wish him a happy
new year and a good life.
And you said that
two months of begging
wouldn't pay off. Hah!
Happy new year.
Well, if you'll excuse me
I'm gonna call each
of my many ex‐wives.
No doubt, one of
them is home alone
and very vulnerable.
Happy, happy!
Overton, the love of my life
I'm so glad you
made me your wife.
Max, my girl, you all that.
How do you eat so
much and never get fat?
Kyle, you are my
favorite Dapper Dan.
You know of all
things... African.
Khadijah, I would cherish
you to the day I die.
And I'm gonna stop right
now 'cause I'm fittin' to cry.
Well, like Kyle said, we all
been through a lot of changes.
I mean, Synclaire and
Overton are married.
You two came to
your senses, finally
and we all get a
baby out of the deal.
‐ Yeah. ‐ Mmm.
Scooter and I are back together.
Well, not tonight.
You know, but still..
Okay. And even Regine
got her millionaire finally.
‐ Mmm. ‐ Hear, hear.
The only thing that
has not changed
is the love I have
for all of y'all.
‐ Cheers. ‐ Cheers.
‐ Oh, my. ‐ Cheers.
Alright, Maxine, what do you
say we go back to your place?
I think my boy
here, needs his rest.
Oh, please, my
girl is a night owl.
Another you? God
would never be so cruel.
You gotta start
getting some rest too‐‐
‐ Mind your business,
Jack. ‐ I got some business.
Your care's my business,
that's what my business.
Well, baby, I guess
we should go too.
I'm sure, Khadijah
got something to do.
No, she doesn't,
she's all alone.
Well, it's, uh, our first new
year's as‐as man and wife
baby, w‐we've got
something to do.
Show you right. Show you right.
That's what I'm talking
about. Happy new year, baby.
Happy new year.
See you tomorrow.
Am I too late for
my new year's kiss?
I thought you were in Rio.
A little unscheduled stopover.
It's cost me 600 bucks
so this kiss better be good.
‐ Oh, I can cover it on
my end. ‐ Alright, yeah.
‐ Mmm. ‐ Mmm.
‐ 'Girl, what you doing?'
‐ I'm going to Rio with you.
Just like that, no suitcase?
Well, if Imma need clothes
maybe I shouldn't go.
Girl, you changing
on me, I like it. Whoo!
Well, get used to it. 'Cause
I ain't never looking back.
Well, maybe just a little bit.
Woo‐hoo!